Getting Started in a New City

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Beginnings of a New Social Circle Written by

Braddock (edited by LA2NY)

By LA2NY & Braddock

© Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle

The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game Copyright 2009 Love Systems, Inc. All Rights Reserved www.LoveSystems.com

Disclaimer Copying, sharing, emailing, posting, distributing, selling this work in whole or part, or creating derivative works from this book is strictly prohibited. Please see the terms and conditions at the end of this book for details. This work is not to be considered professional, medical, psychological or legal advice. It is for entertainment purposes only. Love Systems, Inc., or our associates, or affiliates will not be liable for any direct or indirect consequences that occur from the use of any of the ideas contained this book.

By LA2NY & Braddock

© Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Introduction Moving to a new city or rebuilding your social life in your current city can seem like a daunting task. Few things are tougher than the prospect of starting from ground zero. Moreover, depending on where you are, while your new city may be busy and seemingly bursting with opportunity, it might seem difficult to align yourself into the slipstream of the social flow. The aims of this document are to aid you in your endeavor of building or re-building your social life from ground zero, while incorporating the principles from the Social Circle Mastery Home Study product. We will explore many of the initial steps you will take if you are moving to a new city or hitting the restart button in your current city. You will be provided with 10 tasks, which gradually get more difficult, to help you pave your way to social circle mastery. Depending on your current social situation, and whether you’re moving to a new city or rebuilding life in your current one, some of these tasks may already be accomplished. Nonetheless, the tasks serve as a great way to evaluate where you currently stand.

One Bite at a Time When tackling a new conquest, people often have the urge to take it all down at once. However, as the saying goes, “the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.” Like anything else, building a social circle takes time. More than anything though, it helps to start small and work your way up. Essentially, you want to build upon goals, which get bigger in scope the further you progress. So while your ultimate goal may be to personally know the owner of every trendy nightclub and bar in town, work on getting to know the door people first. It’s good to have large goals, but don’t let them clout the importance of the smaller tasks at hand. When you take care of the basics, you’d be surprised how many of the big goals accomplish themselves.

Have Fun! It is important to view the process of building your social circle as a fun process. As we teach with cold-approach, the second anything seems like a chore, your results will suffer. You should embrace the idea that you are on your path to bettering your life, and bettering the lives of those you choose to bring into your social network. If all else fails, keep in mind that the rewards really are worth it. Few things are more rewarding than having built a life where you are surrounded by high-caliber people who care about you. That said, if you’re starting from scratch, it will take significant work to get to that point. You’ll find though, that while it might be difficult in the beginning, as you start to gain momentum, you social life will begin to compound upon itself. Past a point, when all the foundations are established, new, high-quality people will naturally seem to flow into your life. That is the goal, so keep your eyes on the prize, and lets get started! By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 1: Get to know the Neighborhood Whether you live in a big city or suburbia, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with a group of places near your residence. While you may not necessarily be going out on a Friday night with Lou from the neighborhood bakery, familiarizing yourself with the local businesses does a number of things for you. Social Proof: If you ever take a girl out somewhere, it’s pretty cool to seemingly know everyone you come in contact with. So while your relationship with Lou may not seem to be intrinsically “valuable” in itself, the fact that you know Lou, and everybody else in the neighborhood, speaks about the type of person you are and your overall personality. Cold-Approach Opportunity: If you are at one of your regular spots and happen to see a cute girl, cold approaching her after receiving recognition for the people that work there will help your cause significantly. By knowing the workers, much of the creep factor is removed, and the friendly reactions from the workers (especially if they know you on a first name basis), will transfer over to her reaction towards your approach. Building State: When you’re going out at night, your night should actually begin in the afternoon. Going from not interacting with anyone all day to jumping into a social setting can seem like going from relaxing in a sauna to being thrown in a tub of ice. On he other hand, if you pepper in interactions throughout your day, by the time the evening comes around, you will find yourself in more of a social mood and ready to meet girls you actually care about. Easy Practice: As we teach in our bootcamps, the ability to build and sustain normal, organic rapport is essential to becoming better at meeting women (and people in general). A large majority of this skill set is universal to all interactions, and as they say, practice makes perfect. By having short conversations with the locals, you develop your “conversational muscle” and have the opportunity to work on the fine art of rapport building and transitioning. So how do you do it? It’s simple: Live your day the way you normally would, but search for opportunities to meet and interact with others. So when Sam behind the coffee counter asks you how your day is going, instead of replying with the usual “fine,” elaborate and try and build conversation with him. You’ll be surprised how many cashiers, workers, store clerks and waitresses are open to conversation. Most of these workers will find it refreshing that someone is actually interacting with them beyond simply replying to boring questions out of social obligation. Treat the ones that are colder as yellow lights, and make it a challenge for yourself to see if you can convert them to greens. It’ll serve as a great lesson and practice on how to plow through a cold exterior to open someone up.

By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 2: Develop a Social Routine Get involved in your community in terms of living an active lifestyle and seeking out things to do. It still surprises me how many people spend a majority of their free time at home. When you’re starting out, your home should primarily be a place of rest, not where you lounge around all day “relaxing.” With a little effort, you’d be surprised at how much you can discover to do in your hometown (even if you live in suburbia). Fill Your Days: If you’re spending a majority of your free time at home on the computer, you’re not filling your days. Realize that life is too short, and we already spend 25% of it sleeping, so when we’re not, focus on living it. While we all need alone time and time to relax, don’t use relaxing as an excuse for laziness and inactivity. A good gauge to measuring the productivity of your day is by how tired you are come bedtime. If you are collapsing into your sheets as opposed to going to bed as force of habit, you probably aren’t doing enough with your day. Create an Active Routine: Fuse your personal activities to social settings. For instance, if cardio workouts are an important part of your life, consider trading daily outdoor running with a few cardio classes at your local gym. Instead of sitting in front of the TV all evenings of the week after work, sign-up for improv classes, salsa lessons etc… And while you’re attending these programs, start looking for opportunities to build a social network. Do not treat the people you meet in these classes as cold-approach targets. The beauty of a string of classes is that you know you will see the same people over and over again. Instead, cultivate a good relationship, and focus more on the friends and social circle aspect of the people you meet. And if you find a girl you’re really attracted to, still remember to play it slow. In this case, time is on your side. One-Off Opportunities: Explore as many one-off opportunities as you can. In most metropolitan cities, there is an endless supply of music festivals, carnivals, food festivals, parades etc… that come through. It is much easier to meet people in these environments, as everyone tends to be in a festive and happy mood. If you choose to day game at these activities, that’s fine, but keep yourself open to the possibility of fostering relationships for your social circle mastery purposes. Become a Master of Your Domain: Many people live blindly in the cities they reside in. Wherever you are, there is bound to be a weekly local publication detailing the events and things to do in your city (in the US, some of these publications include The Metro, L.A. Weekly, The New Yorker, etc…). The point is to get familiar with things you can do in your city. As you explore, you’ll begin to cultivate locations to take girls on dates as well. As you begin to build an active routine, and if you make an effort to be social whenever possible, you’d be surprised how friends start to naturally seep into your life. Remember to be proactive though, no amount of activities in the world will help you if you keep to yourself everywhere you go. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 3: Strength in Numbers While your journey to building your social circle may start solo, you will invariably need to find a core group of friends, or a “social tree,” that you can call your own. Essentially, your social tree should include you and a few other like-minded individuals with similar goals and social aspirations. Depending on your situation, it might be easier to start a new social tree fresh instead of attempting to merge your way into an existing one. The benefits of starting your own social circle is that you have the opportunity to lay ground rules from the start, and each person in it is viewed as an equal. On the other hand, the benefit of joining a pre-existing social circle is that if it’s good, all the groundwork is done and you instantly link yourself to an entire network of people. A core social tree of 4-5 people is ideal. Keep in mind it is not necessary for everyone to be studied in game. In fact, if everyone does know about game, you’ll likely have to set up ground rules so that your social circle doesn’t turn into a “game den”. That is, instead of viewing your social tree as an assault team whose sole purpose is to pick-up women, you want to have the mentality that you’re all friends that are just focused on making the most out of life and on having a good time.

Creating a Circle from Ground Zero If you’re starting from ground zero, your best bet is to find others who have also recently moved into the city, or others that are in transitionary periods in their lives. You’ll invariably meet people like this if you build an active routine (Task 2), but other options you have include finding wingmen through bootcamps and/or the forums. Note that just having an interest in game is not necessarily enough to determine compatibility for someone you’re considering bringing into your social circle. Game aside, you’ll want to build your social tree with people you can see yourself meshing with outside of a pick-up environment. Now if you’re able to find guys that are into game, and who also mesh well with your personality, then all the better.

Joining a Pre-Existing Circle Joining a pre-existing circle is generally tougher, and typically requires you to develop a relationship with a “gatekeeper,” or someone who will ingratiate you into the group. From that point, it is in your best interest to start befriending others within the social circle one by one, and slowly ingratiating yourself within the group as a whole. When joining a social circle, definitely do not treat any of the girls the way you would in a cold-approach setting. In fact, it might be a good idea to go a couple months without actively hitting on any particular person in the circle. Your goal is to be a cool, fun guy that they enjoy hanging out with. Once you start getting regular calls from various people in the social circle to come hang out, you know you’re in.

By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 4: Setting Ground Rules One of the biggest benefits from starting a social tree from ground zero, besides being on equal footing with everyone in it, is having the opportunity to develop a set of ground rules. The ground rules and pre-framing that is setup from the start will go a long way in ensuring the sustainability and longevity of your social tree. The most common way for a social tree to implode is when small pet peeves and annoyances build up over time and reach a boiling point. Additionally, setting ground rules also provides a great opportunity to highlight the things you like about the people in your new social tree. Each person will invariably have their strengths that benefit the group, and positive reinforcement is the best way to keep everyone doing what they do best. Here are a few ground rules to consider during your meeting. Others might apply, but these are some concepts to help get the ball rolling: Winging: If your social tree includes guys that have not studied game, it is particularly important to go over wing rules (you don’t have to use game terminology to get the points across). Essentially, explain the idea that he who goes up to the girls gets his first pick, and explain the general concept of how to wing in a set, and how not to steal the spotlight upon entering the group. Off-Limits: Have a discussion on which girls are completely off limits. If you all live in an apartment building together, it might not be the best idea to get in relationships with the girls living down the hall, especially if they can serve as social connectors to a whole another network of hot girls. In your discussion, include friends, sisters, ex’s and whoever else you would not particularly want your friends hooking up with. Boundaries: It’s a good idea to quickly go over the things that each of you can’t stand, as well as other small things that annoy you. Many times, the things that annoy you may not be an issue for someone else and vice verse. By having a clear understanding of everyone’s likes and dislikes, it’ll help tremendously in navigating through your interactions amongst each other. Non-Judgment: No one likes to be judged. Setup a frame so that future conversations within your social tree regarding the quality of girls you guys interact with are lighthearted. While it may be the dream to pull 10s on a nightly basis, it is inevitable that not every girl you go after will be the hottest on the planet. That said, there should be a collective effort to push each other outside of your respective comfort zones, and to push the boundaries on the quality of girls you all typically go after. Game: If you and all your friends are aware of game, it could easily become the only subject you guys talk about. Instead, make some sort of loose rule, which limits the amount of game talk you and your friends partake in. The last thing you want is for game to be the one and only discussion point within you social tree. While game may be a big part of your life, it should not be your life. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 5: Fall into the LJBF Zone a Few Times When you’re starting out, you should realize the importance and opportunity that comes with falling into the let’s just be friends (LJBF) zone. While it might be irritating if you have been pursuing a particular girl for a period of time, or if you’re out on a cold-approach crusade, but falling into the LJBF zone is not always a bad thing.

Cold-Approaching to Make Friends While it may suck to lose girls to the friend zone (typically a symptom of not enough physical/verbal escalation and sexualization), when you’re in the process of building your social circle, it may not actually be a bad idea. In fact, it is a good idea to go out a few nights a week with the primary goal of cold-approaching to make new friends. Believe it or not, most girls do not typically go out with as strong of an agenda as most guys, and are open to the idea of meeting new friends. Hence, if you and the core group of guys you hang out with come off as cool, funny and interesting, there is definitely a possibility that the girls would want to hang out with you all in the future.

Making Friends vs. Getting Laid When you’re cold-approaching to make friends, your standards are slightly different than they might be if you were cold-approaching to get laid. Social Connectors: Social connectors, or individuals who are connected to networks of many others, are the best type of people you can meet throughout the night. Keep in mind that social connectors do not necessarily have to be attractive, since it is many times the case where less attractive guys and girls oftentimes have many hot friends. It is important to note that the social connectors do not necessarily have to be girls either. Group Theory: In this context, you’re going to want to spend more time ingratiating the group, instead of focusing on just picking out one target. More importantly, when you open the group, instead of narrowing down and isolating your conversation to the girl you’re most attracted to, refocus your attention on the person in the group (guy or girl), that seems to be either the leader or the most social. Framing: If you do get isolated with a social connector, make an effort to frame yourself into the friend zone so there is no confusion as to your intentions. Examples of doing this include telling her about you great friend “John” who would be a perfect match for her. Meet-ups: When you go for the meet up in the future, send invites under the frame that you and your friends are going out, and that she and her friends should come meet you guys. If you’re actively spending a few nights a week cold-approaching to make friends, you can easily send out such an invite to at least a couple groups a week. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 6: Create a Prized Venue As you start going out more, you’ll want to take time to invest in building a couple prized venues. A prized venue is a place where you have been to regularly and know a majority of the working staff. Prized venues serve a number of purposes, and in a social circle mastery context, have the capability of making it much easier to meet new people. Ideally, you will want to setup two types of prized venues; one where you go to meet new people, and another where you bring girls to for dates.

Prized Venues to Meet New People Your first focus should be setting up a prized venue at a bar or club where you can regularly meet new people. In general, you and the friends in your social tree should scope out a place that regularly serves the types of people you are interested in dating and becoming friends with. For the most part, these venues will typically include larger bars and clubs, some of which may have a “meatmarket” feel. Regardless of your preference, aim to find a place that caters to a large volume of people, as your goal is to expand your social circle and meet new friends.

Prized Venues for Dates The second type of prized venue is one you would use for dates. Unlike the prized venue you use to meet people, the place you use for dates should be much more laid-back and typically smaller in size. It definitely does not need to be somewhere that is trendy and difficult to get into, and you will generally want to pick a place that is near your home (for obvious reasons). The prized venue you use for dates can also be the place where you and the people in your social tree go out to just relax and decompress.

The Food Chain Once you’ve scoped out locations to develop as your prized venues, most of your legwork will be in getting to know the various levels of staff. You generally want to work your way up the food chain: Door Staff: The door staff is generally the first set of people you’ll get to know. When you are in line for the venue, take the opportunity to practice building rapport and transitioning with the door staff. At a high-end location, getting to know the people who work the door can be vital towards getting into the venue on a regular basis. Plus, people notice when you’re able to cut the line. Bartenders: You generally want to get to know the bartenders on a first name basis. A good way of doing this is to tip very well for your first drink every time you go. Having the bartenders provide you special attention can make all your isolations for shots more impactful, especially if the bartenders are hired guns. Promoters: Depending on the city you live in, promoters may be the controlling factor in your city’s mainstream nightlife (such is the case in Los Angeles). In these cities, getting friendly with the promoters can mean easy entrance into the best By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle venues, free access to tables and a consistent entourage of pretty girls to party with. However, since promoters are constantly meeting new people (their livelihood depends on their ability to bring the party), they tend to be very flaky, and in many cases, extremely difficult to get sticky with. Manager: Once you’re able to start introducing others to the bar manager (especially at a high-end place), your perceived value in the venue begins to skyrocket. It will suddenly become easier to meet others within the venue, and you will notice girls eyeing you and your friends more consistently. Owner: The highest level of staff you’re able to befriend is the owner himself. Knowing the owner provides access too all of the perks above, as well as the general prestige of knowing the guy who runs the show.

Developing Prized Venues to Meet New People At the lower levels of the food chain (doorstaff, bartenders), the key to building relationships is being able to build interesting rapport. Most of this level of staff are generally neglected and used only for their services. As such, it’s refreshing when someone remembers them by their first name and can bring a few moments of good conversation. Even if you have a great memory, take notes of the things you talked about with the various staff members, and focus on covering as many unique topics as possible. Then the next time you go to the venue, review your notes, and when you see a particular staff member, reference something you two spoke about the last time you met. This is probably to fastest way to forge a connection with members of the staff. The higher up the chain you go (and depending on how trendy the venue is), you will typically need to bring more value in order to develop a sticky relationship. In most cases, especially for promoters, bringing attractive girls from your extended social network to the venue is enough to get you going. You will find that having these girls as part of your extended social tree tends to make all levels of social circle mastery significantly easier. Initially attending the venue as regularly as possible will also build a significant amount of goodwill with all levels of the food chain. The various levels of staff, from the door person all the way up to the owner appreciates steady clientele, and even the hottest bars and night clubs have their pool of “regulars.” Being slated as a regular can also make getting into the venue on a consistent basis much easier.

Developing Prized Venues for Dates Developing a prized venue for dates is much less cumbersome. Since there usually isn’t the concern about getting in, it is typically much easier to get to know all levels of the staff. All you really need to focus on is initially attending the venue on a somewhat consistent basis, and striking up interesting conversation with as many members of the staff as possible. By doing this, you are bound to meet and develop friendships with most of the workers. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 7: Setting up your Pad As you develop your social circle, you will inevitably start having friends over. Your home, whether you like it or not, is an extension and reflection of who you are. And while it may not be absolutely necessary to have a decked out home in order to get laid, it sure doesn’t hurt. Moreover, if you’re serious about building your social circle to its maximum potential, you will eventually want to have your home serve as one of the hubs for your social tree. If your place is the usual pre-party or after-party spot, you will definitely meet more people. Having an awesome home also has spillover effects into your game itself. For instance, girls you bring home will feel more comfortable in a well kept home, and the thinslice you get from girls you take on dates is better (side note: whenever you take a girl on a date, you should have her come up to your place for at least a few minutes so she can visualize where she’ll be going when you go for the pull). Having a nice home does not mean you have to be living in a mansion or in a gated community. Rather, it means the interior of your home is well kept, and that it doesn’t look like a dirty frat house (unless of course, you’re in college and live in a frat house). Most girls would agree that a modest but “cool” apartment is more appealing than a mansion with a sloppy or empty interior. There are four key elements that go into having a home that is guest-friendly: Seating: Make sure there is enough seating. You don’t necessarily need one seat for everyone person that’s coming over, but as long as at least half of the people over aren’t forced to stand, you’re alright. While chairs work, consider couches, which are more laid-back, along with futons and possibly even beanbags. Music: You’ll want to have an updated playlist with party music and laid-back music. You don’t necessarily need a 12-speaker sound system; and iPod player or a set of decent computer speakers will work just fine. To find up to date music, visit the website of your local Top 40’s radio station, and there should be a section with songs that the station regularly plays. From there, procure the music however you see fit ;). Drinks: For pre-parties, the bare minimum you want to have is beer, hard alcohol and chasers (i.e. orange juice, soda, Redbull). Ideally though, it’s best to make a fun drink for the evening. Invest in a blender and for your hard alcohol and chasers, opt for tequila/rum and margarita/pina-colada mixers (with ice cubes and coconut shavings), and you’re in for a fun night. Alternatively, you could create jugs of party drinks such as jungle juice or scorpion bowls. The idea is to do something slightly different from the norm, which will go a surprisingly long way. Clean Bathrooms: You want to make sure your bathroom is immaculate. Few things will gross a girl out more than a disgusting bathroom. Make sure your toilet is clean and unstained, and that you have a full stock of toilet paper. Also make sure the bathtub/shower is clean, with no noticeable mold of gunk growing anywhere – girls look! By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 8: Host Events Once you get the ball rolling on laying the foundations for your social tree, it’s a good idea to start integrating yourself as a focal point in your developing social circle. The best way to do this is through hosting events either by using your place as a hub, or by initiating outings amongst your friends.

Using your Place as a Hub The easier of the two is to use your place as a hub. Essentially, your aim is to have your home be a regular location for certain events. For instance, your apartment could be a preparty meeting point, a place for after-parties, or where you and the guys meet up to watch Monday night football. Another option is to host one-off events at your house. This could range from a laid-back Fourth of July barbeque to a full-blown Friday night pool party. In this case, you’re looking to associate yourself with fun times, while having the opportunity to be in the spotlight, and to showcase the cool sides of your personality. Remember, time + shared experiences = relationships. Regardless of the event, turning your home into a central meeting point amongst your social tree will significantly increase the stickiness you have amongst your friends, and will further root you in with the tree itself. This holds particularly true if you are joining a pre-existing tree instead of starting a new one from ground zero.

Initiating Outings If you choose to follow the path of initiating outings amongst your social circle, you are essentially taking on the role of a social connector. As such, you will be responsible for figuring out where the good places to go on which nights are, and then subsequently working to get your friends out. The most challenging element of initiating outings is managing everyone’s schedule and motivating everyone to go out. If you’re starting your social tree from fresh, this should be an easier job (as you’re all bound to be more fired up about going out), than it would be if you’ve joined a pre-existing tree. Moreover, the social repercussions of a failed or bad outing in a pre-existing tree are greater.

Prerequisite Stickiness In each of the above cases, you will need to make sure that you have the prerequisite stickiness to serve as host. That is, you have to be close enough to enough people in the social tree to ensure success. Again, this holds especially true if you are joining a pre-existing social tree. Without the prerequisite stickiness, the probability of flakes increases significantly. For instance, if someone you and your friends met a week ago tried to get you all to come out to a certain venue on Friday night, there is a good chance meeting up with him wouldn’t be too high on anyone’s priority list. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 9: Filling your Social Parking Lot In Social Circle Mastery, there is the concept of a social parking lot. A social parking lot is the metaphorical space where friends whom you no longer contact as frequently are “parked.” If you think through your past, you undoubtedly have friends you have parked in your social parking lot over the course of your life. Many of the reasons for parking a friend are oftentimes natural, and may typically include: Geography: A major transitioning point for social circles takes place when you move away; be it for college, a new job, or just to try something new. When you change geography, you will most likely lose contact, or have significantly less contact, with your friends back home, which you might have otherwise seen on a daily basis. Interests: As you continue to grow and mature, your tastes and preferences continue to evolve. Friends you may have shared everything in common with in the past may have few similarities with you at this point in time. Nonetheless, you may still be close with them, even if your tastes and preferences have changed, but you might not be hanging out with them as much as you used to. Family: If you for whatever reason need to spend more time at home or with family, this can certainly limit the amount of free time you have to hang with certain friends. This can be for a variety of reasons, be it an upcoming wedding, helping your sister with her new baby, or an illness in the family. Work/School: Depending on where you are in your professional trajectory, work or school may take away time from being with friends that you might have seen more regularly when you had more free time. Again, this is not necessarily unhealthy, and is a natural by-product of being a productive person. As you begin to rebuild your social circle, you will want to start taking a more active role in managing your social parking lot. That is, you will want to reduce the amount of time around friends who are “bad” influences on you. In other words, if someone is not conducive to your becoming the social person you want to be, it is not the best idea to spend a majority of your time with that person. Moreover, you will find that as you start accomplishing your social goals, some of your friends may not like the new person you are becoming. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with the fact that you now actively seek out interactions with girls, or perhaps they liked it more when they could square you away as the guy who wasn’t a sexual threat. In some cases, the idea of “misery loves company” comes into play, and your friends may not like you breaking the silently agreed mold of collective unhappiness. In any case, you have to be honest with yourself and identify who is helping your cause, and who is serving as a detriment to your growth. While you may park these friends into your social parking lot, it does not mean that they are no longer your friends; nor does it mean that you are no longer close with them. It simply means that at this point in your life, because of your new interests and the things you are pursuing, you just don’t have as much time to be around them as you once did. By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle Task 10: Explore Merger Possibilities Once you have made decent headway in establishing your core social tree, you should begin looking into branching out and making connections with other social trees. You will find that once you have a core group of cool friends, other trees, which may have been inaccessible in the past, have suddenly become merger possibilities.

Types of Mergers A merger does not necessarily have to be a complete fusion of two social trees. In fact, in most cases, a merger is simply friendships between both trees on a multi-dimensional scale. That is, various people in each of your trees develop friendships with various people in the other trees. Loose: A loose merger is typically defined as two social trees, which hang out when the opportunity presents itself. For instance, if you and another group of friends frequent the same venue every Tuesday, over time, you will develop a loose affiliation with members within the group. And while you may not call upon the group at any given moment to come hang out on a Sunday, these trees present opportunities for expansions in the future. Medium: A medium merger is typically either a conversion of a loose merger, or a group where at least two people in your core social tree have become close with two people in their social tree. Conversions from loose mergers typically happen if you invite the group to a one-off event you may be hosting at your house (i.e. a birthday bash, a pool party, etc…), where there is still a party environment, but also opportunity to develop stronger bonds. Rooted: A rooted merger is when there are close relationships between three or more core members within each of the social trees. Oftentimes, there will also be one couple between the tress that has been dating beyond a casual period. At this level, the two trees start to blend, and it becomes a very normal thing for both groups to regularly hang out.

Solidifying Mergers A majority of the loose mergers tend to happen naturally as a byproduct of living a social, outgoing lifestyle. If you’re going out with your social tree on a regular basis and focusing on having fun (and not just on cold-approaching to get laid), you are bound to start meeting various groups of people on a regular basis. Thus, most of the “work” you and your social tree will take part in is in converting the loose mergers to medium ones. As mentioned above, this is primarily done through inviting a loose merger somewhere else, such as a one-off event you and your friends are hosting. Make sure the invites are very causal (i.e. a mass text, “you guys should come by,” etc…) as opposed to setting firm times and dates. As with most conversions of loose affiliations, you should manage expectations and be prepared for flakes. By LA2NY & Braddock

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