Foolproof Persuasion

First Published in Great Britain 2015 © Copyright Vinh Ly All

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reserved.

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this

PRAISE “What do I like about Vinh’s comics? The more obvious elements are that they are based on science and use cute octopus-like beings. But more than that, they not only illustrate

the

techniques

but

also

compare

them

to

the

situations in which you would usually fail. That gives you a good clue continue

as

to

using

when the

to same

be

attentive

standard

so

that

protocol

you

but

will apply

not the

techniques you have learned instead.” -- Katharina Rauhe, Communications at Scivity

“This is a book that should be studied rather than read. Take the time to immerse yourself in Foolproof Persuasion and you will be rewarded with dramatically improved persuasion skills.” -- Fabrice Boulanger PHD, Lawyer at Ernst&Young

TABLE OF CONTENTS About the author............................................... 1 Introduction................................................... 2 Foreword ..................................................... 2 Why use questions? ........................................... 6 Questions can't be wrong ..................................... 8

The persuasive process ...................................... 12

Rapport building.............................................. 14 What’s your name? ........................................... 14 Foot in the mouth ........................................... 16 Active listening ............................................ 19 Rapport-building questions .................................. 22

Promoting..................................................... 25 Repetition .................................................. 25 Response scaling ............................................ 28 Response ordering ........................................... 31 Rhetorical questions ........................................ 34 Tie-down questions .......................................... 37 Yes ladder .................................................. 40 Emotionally-loaded questions ................................ 43

Objection handling............................................ 45 Socratic method ............................................. 45 Five whys ................................................... 49 Curved misdirection ......................................... 52

Closing....................................................... 56 Double-bind questions ....................................... 56 False choice ................................................ 59 Demonstration close ......................................... 63 Thermometer close ........................................... 66

After the close............................................... 69

Compelling questions ........................................ 69 Distracting questions ....................................... 72

Practice...................................................... 74 Conclusion.................................................... 77 From the same author.......................................... 79

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vinh Ly is a private jet marketing expert, who has launched

and sold the most expensive marketing products in the world to

billionaires. He is the bestselling author of Billion Dollar Influence, a persuasion skills masterclass by someone who sells private jets for a living. He is internationally acclaimed for his unique visual and fresh approach to teaching persuasion and influence to CEOs, students, sales professionals and individuals

interested in being more influential. When he's not busy sharing on his blog, he enjoys improvisation comedy and meditation.

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INTRODUCTION Foreword Congratulations!

You are taking steps to improve yourself.

Take a moment to enjoy this, you deserve it! Your investment will pay off for the rest of your life (with accrued interest). Which begs the question... Why did you wait so long before purchasing this book?

2 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

Before

we

start,

I

just

important about persuasion.

wanted

to

remind

you

of

something

1. Persuasion is making someone do something that you think will

benefit

them.

That

think, feel and behave.

involves

changing

the

way

they

2. Manipulation is about making someone do something against their own interests.

That may sound simplistic, and they may not be the definitions you find in the dictionary, but that's how I see it. And I

believe that if you see persuasion this way, you will be much more

congruent

when

you

try

to

persuade

someone

to

do

something — because deeply, you are convinced that it benefits them.

I teach persuasion and I do it so that it benefits people, not

to force them into buying something they can't afford. Obviously,

you

think

term,

could

use

those

persuasion

techniques

to

manipulate people, but that's for you to live with. And if you long

there's

a

negative

impact

that

FOOLPROOF PERSUASION

comes

from

Page |3

manipulating people, as your reputation will permanently suffer

from the fact that you took advantage of somebody's temporary weakness.

Not to mention that once trust is broken, it takes a lifetime to mend.

What's this book about? Good question. The book you have in front of you focuses solely on persuasive questioning.

It might look quite narrow as a subject to the outsider, but it is HUGE. And you will see that right now.

To help you get the most out of this book, you can download the mind map, and additional tips and techniques at www.foolproofpersuasion.com/bonus

I have included a cheat sheet that lists all the questions and I also provide you with another fun and unusual way to practice them.

4 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

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Why use questions? Children ask a lot of questions.  Why do we have nose hair?  Mommy, when did you know you loved me?  What happens when you throw a tomato at the sun?

These questions are about acquiring more knowledge, or simply about curiosity.

That is not what Foolproof Persuasion is about. Foolproof persuasion is about questions which are at the heart of effective persuasion.

1. They help build rapport 2. They

needs

help

uncover

information

and

understand

someone’s

3. They help you engage the other person in the process, while allowing you to check their level of interest

4. They also help you close When

salesmen

call

you

on

the

phone,

they

will

often

use

questions because questions will force you to answer. That's why they are so hard to rub off when they are doing that.

We're wired to answer questions. That's social compliance. While we're at it: Please don't use those techniques to become a

6 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

human spam machine. That's just annoying.

And that’s not all…

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Questions can't be wrong

One of the benefits of asking questions is that you'll minimize your chances of saying something wrong.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to speak with others without ever being wrong? As

the

other

person

is

more

focused

on

answering

than

contradicting you’ll be able to direct the conversation with

ease.

8 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

But wait! There's more! Let me just talk about congruence first. Congruence is the alignment between what we do and who we think

we are. Carl Rogers introduced the concept of Congruence 1 in the 1950's, expressing it as an alignment between experience and awareness.

It's an essential element that keeps us sane.

1

CARL R. ROGERS, Sigmund Koch. Psychology A Study Of A Science Volume 3

Formulations Of The Person And The Social Context. Mcgraw-Hill Book Company, Inc., 1959.

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Page |9

In short, we need to feel that we are aligned between what we think and what we do. The

way

we

think

influences

influences the way we think.

our

behavior

and

our

behavior

Because the questions will prompt answers, the other person is already in discussion with you. Because

they're

already

discussing

it

with

because they're interested in talking to you.

you,

it

must

be

And the more you talk and show interest, the more rapport you are building...

Conclusion:

questions!

To

build

rapport

10 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

and

be

more

persuasive,

ask

Remember this… Questions

are

more

memorable

as

they

trigger

“active

mental

processing”. People have to think about what you ask in order to answer your question.

One scientific experiment 2 demonstrated the fact that questions

make your messages more memorable.

Children were shown 21 pairs of pictures of random objects with no

obvious

pairings.

Each

pair

of

objects

was

shown

consecutively. For example, a shoe was shown next to a bar of soap, then a chair with an elephant.

If children were just looking at the items, the results were that there was an average recall of 1 pairing out of 21. That’s really low. But if children were asked questions like “Why is the bar of soap in the shoe?” or “Why would someone store the shoe and the

soap together?” they would manage to remember an average of 16 items out of 21.

That means that questions can make your messages 16 times more memorable!

2

[Turnure, Buium & Thurlow, 1976]

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The persuasive process Here's a quick reminder of the persuasion framework.

1. Rapport building (build connection and authority) 2. Promoting (show how great your product is) 3. Objection handling (deal with resistance) 4. Closing (get the deal) 5. Post sales (don't screw up) Keep in mind  The description might be sales-oriented, but it works in the general persuasion context.

 It's not an absolute process ... it's more something you should jazz with.

12 | P a g e INTRODUCTION

 The expert persuader will be able to adapt to the other person.

The book is built so that for each part of the process, you will find several types of questions.

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RAPPORT BUILDING What’s your name?

This one's pretty simple.

The question is “What's your name?”  Pay attention to the answer.  Check that you're saying it correctly.  Make sure you use the other person's name three times in

14 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

the first five minutes. You’ll remember it and you’ll make sure you pronounce it correctly.

Using the first name shows the other person that you care and this will make every question and statement more personal to them.

Why does this work? We’re hardwired from birth to respond when we hear our name. And

the first people to use it were our parents who, as authority figures, expected you to answer.

Bonus tip Use

their

names

with

your

questions.

Whether

it’s

at

the

beginning, in the middle or at the end of the question, it’s a good attention booster.

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Foot in the mouth

Here's a quick tip that you can use easily. The foot in the mouth technique is a typical telemarketing trick to steal a few minutes of someone’s time.

According to a 3

social psychology experiment 3 that proved the

Howard, Daniel J. “The Influence of Verbal Responses to Common Greetings on

Compliance Behavior: The Foot-in-the-Mouth Effect.” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 20, no. 14, Pt 2 (1990)

16 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

effectiveness of this technique, you should:  Ask someone how they feel  Have them verbally respond  Acknowledge that response

The experiment saw a significant improvement in people accepting

to agree to a charitable request after the foot-in-the-mouth technique. This is one of the easiest ways to start the rapportbuilding loop that was described earlier in this book.

Examples Before asking your request, just ask a small question to put the

persuader at ease or to make sure that you have the time to defend your case.

Such questions could be:

Those are very civil questions to ask, so you don't risk much.

But the payoff is that you'll have somebody who will be much more inclined to talk to you.

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This is different from the foot in the door, which asks you for a low-cost action to follow-up with a higher cost action.

Very important Wait

and

acknowledge

the

answer

question.

18 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

to

your

foot-in-the-mouth

Active listening

Have you ever had the feeling that your conversation turned into an

interview

because you

conversation going?

kept

asking

questions

to

get

the

Or even worse, did you ever have the feeling you were performing a monologue for a disengaged audience?

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Wait no more, and enjoy active listening!  Repeat what the other person said  Add a personal statement (about yourself)  Ask a question Active listening allows you to keep the conversation going. You

will flow with ease from one topic to another until you find one that sticks. It is a wonderful tool to build rapport.

Repetition will show that you listen. You can keep the same phrasing or you can just repeat the general idea. The important thing is that the other person feels listened to.

Adding

a

personal

statement

will

make

it

feel

less

of

an

interview. You are having a conversation so it should work both ways. It's about sharing.

A question prompts an answer. When you ask a question people feel compelled to answer, but the other reason is to help you move on to another topic.

Just

start

practicing,

and

you'll

conversations will be flowing smoothly.

20 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

find

out

that

your

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Rapport-building questions

Everybody has a sweet spot. Sometimes it feels like trying to crack the code to a safe. Stuck during small talk? Ask questions about the three general categories.

1. Family 2. Work 3. Hobbies In general, people have things in life they could talk about for hours.

When

you've

hit

the

right

button,

they

won’t

let

you

go…

especially if you show genuine interest and curiosity in what they do.

Personally, I love when people talk about their passion. Their

22 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

eyes

light

up

and

they

will

always

welcome

your

questions

because you're making them talk about something they LOVE.

If they’ve just had a baby, they won't stop talking about it. If

you have a golf fanatic, then prepare to hear about their new driver.

Observe the other person and look for cues.

And you don't need to be an expert about anything, curiosity is

just enough. They will love explaining everything you want to know about their passion.

A good way to start building rapport is to wear a ‘whatsit’... Leil Lowndes 4 describes the whatsit as something remarkable that you wear, that anybody can use to start a conversation with you.

If you wear cufflinks shaped like tennis rackets, then it's a good way to start building rapport with sports fans. Warning 4

Lowndes, Leil. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in

Relationships.McGraw-Hill, 2003.

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There's a high cultural factor to take into account. For example, you never talk about money in France. This cultural trait comes from the French Revolution, where rich people were decapitated. Therefore, just don't talk about money in France.

Conversely, it's not unusual for Vietnamese people to ask you about your salary a few minutes after meeting you.

24 | P a g e RAPPORT BUILDING

PROMOTING Repetition

Repetition increases the recall and persuasiveness of a simple message.

The DRY principle in persuasion is “Definitely Repeat Yourself”.

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This is because when someone keeps hearing about something, it becomes familiar.

Did you know that the more a song is aired, the more successful it becomes?

How do you apply REPETITION to persuasion?

Focus

on

THE

persuasive

argument

that

will

make

your

case

with simple messages. As you spread your messages over time, you will gain more and more agreement.

Repetition is how you make sure that the other person remembers what you want them to know.

When you present to an audience…

1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them 2. Tell them 3. Tell them what you told them If you’re worried you might sound like a parrot, then…

1. Say that you’re repeating this specific point because it is very important. It’s important for you, but also for them!

2. Smile. They will understand that it’s a game, and you’re

showing that you’re trying to say your main message as much as

possible.

The

back. Humor is key.

26 | P a g e PROMOTING

other

person

will

just

smile

3. Use

different

speed…).

deliveries

of

the

same

message

(pitch,

There’s nothing wrong with repeating yourself if you have fun with it…

“When you have a hammer, you see nails everywhere…”

Imagine that your main message is your hammer, and that you need to find ways to use it.

As you’re repeating your message more and more, your message will be firmly planted in the other person’s mind.

The first time you deliver your message, you can phrase it as a question so that it is easier to swallow.

Examples 1. Is this the most reliable product on the market? 2. Many elements show that this is the most reliable product on the market. 3.

We

have

clearly

assessed

that

this

is

the

most

reliable

product on the market.

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Response scaling

The response-scaling technique is amazingly simple to apply. When

asking

a

question

that

requires

the

other

person

to

indicate an intensity or a quantity, you can easily influence them by giving examples of the expected answers. How

interested

are

you

in

interested? Very interested?

purchasing

a

new

car?

A

bit

This is not the double bind technique. The double bind technique

reduces the possible answers to only two. The response-scaling technique

influences

the

answers

range of the possible answers.

28 | P a g e PROMOTING

by

implicitly

limiting

the

Formula [Question]? [Example 1]? [Example 2]?

By providing those two examples or more, you automatically show

your expectation to the other person in terms of the order of magnitude. And then social compliance just does the rest.

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Other persuasive examples

30 | P a g e PROMOTING

Response ordering

Here's how you can make sure people take the cheesecake (more value: more tips!)...

When you offer multiple choice, the order in which you present them is critical (although it's not 100% surefire). If you give them three choices or more,  People will tend to select the last choice if you present the alternatives verbally

 People will tend to select the first choice if you present the alternatives in written form

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This might sound counterintuitive, but these two effects have been proven scientifically and studied in depth 5. Why does this technique work?

1. Verbally We

have

a limited

short-term

memory.

We

can't

hold

too

many

items in our memory for too long.

Because we have to make a choice, we will have the easiest access to the last item stored. Easy as one-two-three.

2. Written The process in place is slightly different when we talk about written choices. Short-term memory doesn't come into play as much. What

matters

is

the

reference.

The

first

choice

is

the

reference. It is the ‘default choice’. All the other choices have to prove significantly better than this one to be selected.

Changing one's mind is a lot more difficult once they’ve already made a decision. 5

[Schwarz & Oyserman 2001]

32 | P a g e PROMOTING

And if there are too many choices, the person will be lazy and just take the first satisfying choice.

Bonus tip #1 When

you

present

the

choices

verbally,

you

can

improve

the

likelihood of the last choice to be selected by speeding up the

overall delivery. It gives less time for the other person to process all the prior answers.

Bonus tip #2 This technique works very well if you use it with the response scaling technique. If you give choices, you might as well order them in a persuasive way, don't you think?

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Rhetorical questions

Rhetorical

are questions

questions

that

expecting a formal answer.

you

ask

without

1. You ask your rhetorical question 2. The other person has to consider your question (and your perspective)

3. The person has to think of an answer — and there’s only one answer

When you are using a rhetorical question, you involve the other person in your argumentation.

Because the answer is obvious — negative or positive — the other

person has to follow you in your reasoning. It is the logical equivalent of the emotionally leading questions. As

we

already

said,

when

you

ask

a

question,

contradicted. How can a question be wrong?

you

can't

be

Rhetorical questions are used in everyday life to emphasize a

34 | P a g e PROMOTING

statement: Some of them have lost a lot of their power over time and have become clichés.

In

the

persuasion

benefit or ridicule

context,

rhetorical questions.

any

you

other

should highlight

alternative by

a

fear

asking

or

a

obvious

Persuasion examples

It is a great tool for objection handling

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How to counter rhetorical questions A

rhetorical

question

is

just

a

question,

so

you

can't

argue. One funny way to counter a rhetorical question is to ask another rhetorical question.

36 | P a g e PROMOTING

Tie-down questions

You simply need to follow statements with tie-down questions such as:

 Would you agree?  Right?  Are you following me?  Do you think that makes sense?

As

opposed

actually

to

the rhetorical

prompting

an

questions,

answer...

And

the

tie-downs

while

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the

are

yes-

P a g e | 37

ladder technique’s sole purpose is to get people used to saying

“yes”, the tie-downs are actually riskier as you're asking the other person to show some type of commitment (at least to an opinion).

Important When they answer, they take ownership of your statement. You've

just

started

the

Congruence

Loop

again!

Because

they

started agreeing, they will agree more and more.

Examples

There are many ways in which you can use tie-down questions.  Summarizing

the

situation.

It

helps

to

recap

all

the

elements that have been agreed beforehand to actually build

on the positive items. “If I understand correctly, you want this project delivered by end of March and you came to see us because we have a good reputation — and especially for

delivering on time. Is that correct?”

 Demonstrating value. It is important to show the benefits of what you are proposing. Make sure that they are valued

38 | P a g e PROMOTING

by

the

other

person.

“Carrots

are

very

good

for

health. Health is important for you, isn't it? ”

your

 Nudging towards the close. It could be a full close, “I think we're good to go, right?" or a partial close, “If I manage to get a 10% discount, we'd have a deal, would you agree?”

Bonus tip #1 You need to be assertive, enthusiastic and confident when you use tie-down questions. Your goal when using tie-downs is to get a “Yes“, because you want to integrate them into your yes ladder. Bonus tip #2 If you nod during the tie-down, you increase your chances of the other

person

agreeing.

the mirroring technique.

You're

actually

FOOLPROOF PERSUASION

using

P a g e | 39

Yes ladder

Here comes the infamous yes-ladder technique.  Get people to say “yes”  Get them to say “yes” again  Close the deal with a final “yes”

It's that easy.

1. Ask questions to get the other person more and more excited about the deal.

2. Make sure they will not answer “no” at any point. 3. Keep control of the flow.

40 | P a g e PROMOTING

It works because the brain gets caught in a repetitive pattern that brings more and more compliance.

Bonus tip #1 Keep

the

questions

easy.

Those

questions

do

not

need

to

be

product-related at first. They're just here to get the other person to say “yes”.

Good news! We've actually covered three techniques that allow you to do that easily!

1. Foot-in-the-mouth technique 2. Rhetorical questions 3. Tie-down questions Typical first questions:  Are you comfortably seated?  Do you have a few minutes for a chat?  Do you enjoy [XXXX]? (When they obviously enjoy [XXXX].)

Bonus tip #2

1. Use conditional questions to follow up if you think you risk a “no”.

2. Pre-empting objections by naming them works as well. 3. You can also focus on only the good features of your product.

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P a g e | 41

Examples 1.

If this product performed as expected and price wasn't an

2.

I know you might not like the color, but do you agree that

3.

A three-year guarantee is pretty unbeatable, isn't it?

issue, would you consider buying it? it's a useful product?

Bonus tip #3 You don't need to close with the yes-ladder technique. Once you

have raised the interest to a certain level, you could confirm the interest with an emotionally-leading question and close with a double-bind.

Wow... That's a lot of techniques. Can you actually feel all the pieces of the puzzle starting to fit together?

If there are too many techniques to apply, just remember the core of the yes ladder.

Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!!!!

42 | P a g e PROMOTING

Emotionally-loaded questions

In order to put someone in a specific state, one of the best ways is to ask an emotionally-loaded question.

When they are in the specific state, they will be more likely to be

called

to

action

(example:

you

buy

more

stuff

supermarket when you are hungry than when you are full).

at

the

If you use the following sentence: “Imagine you are excited about buying a banana." Although awkward.

it

could

work

in

specific

circumstances,

FOOLPROOF PERSUASION

it

sounds

P a g e | 43

However, directly asking a question forces the other person to go into the required state to answer the question.

Examples

Bonus tip Asking

to

measure

the

level

person to experience it more.

44 | P a g e PROMOTING

of

the

emotion

might

force

the

OBJECTION HANDLING Socratic method Socrates,

the

ancient

Greek

philosopher,

known for his questioning method.

was

extremely

well

His relentless questioning was used as a teaching method as well as a way to uncover the truth.

It was as if the idea was there all along and Socrates merely put it in plain sight.

If you want to use questions like Socrates, you can follow R.W.

Paul's 6 9 types of Socratic questions:

1. Clarification 6

The Thinker’s guide to the Art of Socratic Questioning By Dr. Richard Paul and Dr.

Linda Elder http://www.criticalthinking.org/TGS_files/SocraticQuestioning2006.pdf

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P a g e | 45

2. Purpose 3. Assumption 4. Evidence 5. Perspective 6. Consequence 7. Question 8. Concept 9. Interpretation Examples

46 | P a g e OBJECTION HANDLING

One way to see it is to visualize the overall process below.

A

person

works

from

assumption,

their

situation and works towards their purpose. If

you

take

some

perspective

from

clarifies that

the

current

situation,

the

assumptions will be proven by evidence, the concepts will be clearly identified from the current situation and the logical consequence will be assessed.

There is a duality between what the person interprets and how they can take perspective with your questioning.

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P a g e | 47

This should help you find the root cause and treat it appropriately.

Warning You need to be able to challenge your own assumptions. You won't persuade if you can't adapt.

48 | P a g e OBJECTION HANDLING

Five whys “Ask 'why' five times about every matter.” -- Taiichi Ohno, Former Executive Vice President of Toyota Motor Corporation. March 2006

If you are trying to persuade someone without understanding what they

need,

endeavor.

chances

are you

are

engaging

in

an

FOOLPROOF PERSUASION

unfruitful

P a g e | 49

The 5 whys technique allows you to probe the other person to understand the root cause of any issue.  Define the issue  Ask “Why” as many times as you need to reach the real issue  Propose a countermeasure (your solution)

The

root

analysis

process

often

used

in

kaizen

(continuous

improvement) consists of asking the question why 5 times to find out what the real underlying issue is. You don't have to ask the question exactly 5 times ... it is just the empirical average.

If it works for Toyota, who need to sell and produce 10 million cars per year, then it might be worth a try for you.

Bonus tip This has the additional benefit of redefining the relationship.

You are no longer a pushy salesperson, or an evil persuader...

You are just a problem solver (and people will love you for that).

1. Avoid the broken record technique. You want to introduce some variations using active listening.

2. Pinpoint a specific word by repeating it. 3. Acknowledge what the other person just said. 4. Add empathy by showing how you relate to the other person. 5. Stop when the other person agrees that you have found the root cause. It might take more or less than five whys.

50 | P a g e OBJECTION HANDLING

Be curious about the other person, because it's always about the other person.

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Curved misdirection

Handling objections with ‘curved’ misdirection Imagine you're facing a customer questioning you on the quality of your products. If you use obvious ‘straight’ misdirection you'll just look like you are trying to change the subject.

It's pretty lame. It's obvious and it won't work. In order to use curved misdirection, you must add intermediate steps.

52 | P a g e OBJECTION HANDLING

When the flow of the conversation is natural, you easily diverge

from the initial point. Asking a question to the other person prompts them to answer and brings them to where you want them to be.

Make sure you start by acknowledging the point and then slowly drift to another one. A word of caution The

use

of

this

technique

should

be

ethical.

Even

though

misdirection comes naturally after a while, you might want to refrain from using it too much. If you keep avoiding an issue,

it will come back to your face with full force. You don't want that. You want to confront an issue.

This technique can also help someone stuck on an issue to move on.

Use it. This works. Did

you

know

pickpocketing?

that

this

technique

is

actually

very

close

to

Let's take some time to discuss a little background. If

stealing

somebody's

wallet

is

an

art

form,

then

Apollo

Robbins is clearly one of the few undisputed masters of the

discipline. Pickpocketing is a branch of magic, and they share common principles.

During the Essential Magic Conference, Apollo managed to load every

speaker

with

his

business

card.

When

he

announced

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the

P a g e | 53

fact, everyone checked their pockets and found a business card lying in there. He was at such a level that he could even fool other magicians.

The secret to pickpocketing Here's one thing that makes a complete difference, which is also a strong tool in the magician's toolset. People wrong.

say,

“The

hand

is

faster

than

the

eye.”

Wrong.

Very

Everything happens when you're not looking. That's misdirection.

Pickpocketing is all about attention and focus management. If

people

are

busy

looking

at

the

pickpocket's

gorgeous

assistant, they will be less likely to see the hand reaching into their pockets.

 If you look at the right hand, you will not see the left hand.

 If you look at the left hand, you will not see the right hand.

 If

you

look

at

both,

attention to either.

then

you're

not

really

paying

So you're not a pickpocket? You can still use misdirection for persuasion! But

before

we

look

at

the

applications,

54 | P a g e OBJECTION HANDLING

let's

look

at

what

scientists found out thanks to Apollo Robbins.

What Apollo found out after years of pickpocketing Apollo noticed that if his hand was moving from one point to another

in

movement —

a

curved

people

trajectory

would

pay

less

—

instead

attention

of

to

a

the

straight

initial

position of the hand, which means that he would make curved

moves after stealing a wallet so that people would see the hand and not think that it came from their pocket.

Neuroscientists

have

naturally applied.

7

since

confirmed 7

what

Apollo

Robbins

Otero-Millan, Jorge, Stephen L. Macknik, Apollo Robbins, and Susana Martinez-Conde.

“Stronger Misdirection in Curved than in Straight Motion.” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 5 (November 21, 2011).

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P a g e | 55

CLOSING Double-bind questions

Double binds give the illusion of choice, without really giving one. It's

a

technique

Influence,

but

it

that

I

would

already

be

described

strange

not

to

in

Billion

talk

Dollar

about

this

technique again since it's such a powerful one. It's actually the one technique that beginners like the most, since it is so

56 | P a g e CLOSING

easy to understand and apply. So what is the double-bind technique? You frame your persuasion as a fake choice. This is a powerful

method, as it might feel like the other person had a choice and therefore they will want to stay congruent.

The typical double bind is illustrated as follows: While throwing a coin, you say, “Heads, I win; tails, you lose.” Either way you win.

In the persuasion context, you should work it out this way: 1. Understand what your outcome is 2. Give

the

other

person

achieve your outcome

two

choices

as

to

how

they

can

The process works because the other person is led to think that

their choice is how to achieve your outcome, not whether or not your outcome is beneficial for them. Furthermore, as you have

stated only two choices, they will only focus on those choices instead of considering all the possibilities (such as running away while insulting you). Be a choice architect. Engineer the choices so that they all end up at the same general

outcome. When talking to the other person, think this way: You have the choice to do anything you want, as long as you end up doing whatever I want.

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P a g e | 57

Examples

Bonus tip A good double bind does not make one choice too obvious compared

to the other. It makes the choice a bit harder, and increases the blindness to the non-expressed choices.

58 | P a g e CLOSING

False choice

We have already seen how the double bind works. You need to give two choices, the results of which are both in your favor. We

also

know

that

choice

is

important,

because

you

need

to

respect other people's freedom of choice so that you can use it to your advantage.

Now we will explore the false choice. Once again, you need to become a choice architect.

If you have an outcome in mind, you can frame it as a choice.

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P a g e | 59

This means that you can at least propose an alternative. But if the alternative is unappealing, then chances are your favored outcome will be chosen. to choose

Asking

thinking.

amongst

your

proposals will limit

their

1. Present your favored choice 2. Present an unacceptable alternative 3. Frame the whole thing as a question The subtlety lies in making a realistic but scary alternative.  Make it too scary, and you lose your credibility.  If it's not scary enough, your compliance rate drops.

Bonus tip #1 If you present the unacceptable alternative before your favored choice, you might increase your chances with the fear and relief principle, which describes the effect that people have increased

compliance rates after experiencing fear and relief in quick succession. 8

Bonus tip #2 You will get even greater compliance if you also add a third choice

that

is

favored choice. 8

a

slightly

less

attractive

version

of

Dolinski D. and Nawrat R. (1998). Fear-then-relief procedure for producing

compliance: Beware when the danger is over. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 34, 1, 27-50.

60 | P a g e CLOSING

your

The

other

person's

mind

will

immediately

discard

unacceptable alternative and focus on the other 2 choices.

the

Then it will be easy to choose between your preferred outcome and a degraded version of it.

As always, a long example requires a concrete example:

Would you rather buy… 1. An expensive laptop? 2. A cheap one? 3. A cheap one with a guarantee? Notice how you discarded the first choice and finally chose the third one.

So in real life...

Sales  This

HP

computer

is

absolutely

great.

It

has

lots

of

features that many hardcore gamers will be interested in. The price is a bit hefty at 987 dollars, but it's really worth it if you play Call of Duty online.  The ACER might be more suited to your needs, as you said you'd

only

be

using

the

internet.

It's

good

value

for

money, and at 346 dollars it's a steal.  NoteX is a great laptop as well. I personally own this one, and I'm quite happy. It's quite similar to the ACER, but it is priced at 325 dollars.  So would you prefer the HP, the ACER or the NoteX?

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P a g e | 61

Job interview (you explaining why you should be hired)  I understand that many other people have applied for this job. Most of them are just fresh out of college. Would you prefer

to

hire

experience?

62 | P a g e CLOSING

me

or

to

hire

people

with

no

real

Demonstration close

As a marketing professional, I can tell you that qualifying the prospect is one of the most important things you should do. Fail to do that, and you will

1. Waste your time 2. Waste your efforts 3. Lose potential customers The

demonstration

close

is a

straight from the beginning.

technique

that

you

could

use

1. Make a bold unproven statement 2. Ask if the other person can commit if you can demonstrate your statement

3. Pitch your product or service

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P a g e | 63

This should help you understand how interested the other person is and know if you have a chance of closing the deal at the end of the conversation.

The commitment can be for the other person to:

1. Purchase right now — so you avoid the time delay technique 2. Tell how much money can be spent — so you gain an edge during the negotiation

3. Do any other call to action you can think about Bonus tip #1 The demonstration close can also work thanks to curiosity. If you make your bold statement intriguing enough, then people will be curious to see how you will demonstrate it.

Persuasion examples

What if people don't want to commit? If you're busy, move to another, ‘hotter’ prospect. If you're not, make them want to commit.

64 | P a g e CLOSING

Bonus tip #2 The demonstration close should not be framed like a bet, because in a bet there is a loser and a winner. Nobody likes to be on

the losing side. Frame it as a genuine question. You're just

trying to find out if there is an interest before boring them with a lengthy explanation — which will undoubtedly prove your point.

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Thermometer close

Trying to sell without having an idea of the extent of the customer’s

interest

is

like

trying

unknown city without a proper map.

to

find

your

way

in

an

You have no idea if you're going in the right direction and you

don't know how far you are from your final destination. That's pretty bad indeed. So what do you do? Ask for directions (of course). And what if closing a deal could be that easy? What if you only needed to ask for directions?

66 | P a g e CLOSING

The thermometer close is exactly what you need:

1. Ask

them

to

tell

you

how

they

feel

something on a scale of 1 to 10.

about

purchasing

2. Ask them what they would need to get to 10. 3. Give them what they ask for or propose something else. 4. Ask them to rate their interest again -> Back to step 2. 5. At 10, close the deal! Warning If the person rates it lower than 5, you might not be pitching the right product. Find another product to offer.

The great thing about the thermometer close is that once you get

the prospect to give a number, the interest can only go up if

you manage to add features. The false close also works this way, by

stacking

additional

benefits

(I

technique in Billion Dollar Influence).

describe

more

of

this

The advantage of the thermometer close is that you know exactly

how far you are from closing the deal. Make sure that you ask the customer to measure their interest every time you add an advantage, especially if it is a requested benefit. And when you're at 10, close the deal! Bonus tip #1 It

helps

that 10

if

means

you

mention

that

they

early

want

on

to

when

describing

purchase

the

the

product

now. By congruence, they will buy if you get them to 10.

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scale

right

P a g e | 67

Bonus tip #2 This

technique

It's

great

works

a

lot

themselves as being rational. because if

you

better know

with

someone

people can't

who

think

of

be

persuaded

emotionally, then the thermometer close is absolutely the right tool to use.

68 | P a g e CLOSING

AFTER THE CLOSE Compelling questions

People change their minds all the time. If they were very enthusiastic just after their purchase, they might be highly unsatisfied after a few days and blame you for that.

Ask yourself these questions:  What's the point of selling if your service or product is

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P a g e | 69

going to be refunded?  What's

the

point

of

resent you for that?

persuading

if

people

are

going

to

 What's the long-term value of an unsatisfied customer? The compelling statement technique is simple:

1. Close the deal 2. Understand why the customer bought your product 3. Make the customer say why they bought your product aloud They will have made their compelling statement.

The compelling question is the question you ask so that the other person issues a compelling statement.

This technique is used after the other person has committed. Just get this statement when the negotiation and the sales are finished and the other person is relaxed.

By making the other person say WHY they committed, you make sure they remain committed in the long term.

You should be asking the question nonchalantly and frame it as genuine interest in the other person, not as a market survey question. It’s also a good technique to keep building rapport.

70 | P a g e AFTER THE CLOSE

Examples (after closing)

Bonus tip #1 Repeat the compelling statement when they leave, or when you meet them again.

Bonus tip #2 This compelling statement will help you understand a lot about the

other

person

...

and

help

you

cross-sell,

up-sell,

and

future-sell. It is a bit more risky than a distracting question, but it yields better long-term results.

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P a g e | 71

Distracting questions

As we have just seen, life is full of distractions. Just to draw the comic strip, I think I've been interrupted seven times by “unmissable” Facebook updates. The

distracting

question

technique

is

a

powerful

objection

handling technique ... because it prevents the objection from even coming to the mind of the other person.

1. Make sure the other person likes the product 2. Keep asking questions to avoid objections 3. Close the deal

72 | P a g e AFTER THE CLOSE

Keeping the mind of the other person busy is crucial! It's a good way to create rapport, and you're showing interest in the other person.

It's important to keep asking questions so that it does not feel

like you're rushing the sale, and therefore trying to rob them of their freedom of choice. It's

also

a

good

opportunity

to

use emotionally-loaded

questions to help the other person build an emotional connection with the product.

Bonus tip #1 You can use the distracting question as a good opportunity to find out if you can up-sell or cross-sell other products.

Bonus tip #2 I

keep

repeating

myself,

but

remember

the double-bind and rhetorical question techniques.

FOOLPROOF PERSUASION

to

use

P a g e | 73

PRACTICE Here’s the hard truth that everybody knows: Practice makes all the difference.

Training course junkies will have already closed the books and skipped to the next one… But you’re still here!

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” — Albert Einstein

One of the best games I have found to get into the question

74 | P a g e PRACTICE

mindset is the “Only questions” game. If you watch the great improv comedy show “Whose Line is it anyway”, you might be familiar with the game.

The comedians line up and create a dialog that is based on

questions only. The first person who does not ask a question is out.

The goal is not to trick the other person, but to last as long as possible.

If you try this game yourself, you might get stuck really fast if you use too many open-ended questions. Open-ended

questions

are

great

when

you

have

no

you’re going, but they don’t add to the conversation.

clue

where

They’re dead weight in that game.  What are you doing?  Where are we?

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P a g e | 75

 Who are you? Replace with  What do you intend to do with that chainsaw?  Do you also feel the ground shaking?  Are you the captain of this boat?

They have to BRING something to the conversation.

Bonus tip: Rhetorical questions are great for this game.

76 | P a g e PRACTICE

CONCLUSION “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

Life is a long journey of learning. Every day, you get a piece of the puzzle.

To become a great and expert persuader, you have to take time to put the pieces together instead of just collecting them.

I recommend that you read the book at least one more time (if it is your first time reading it), so that you can make sure that you’ve integrated the whole question framework.

You can download the mind map and additional tips at www.foolproofpersuasion.com/bonus

I have included a cheat sheet that lists all the questions and I also provide you with another fun and unusual way to practice them.

Learn, practice, share. If you are interested in learning other

persuasion techniques, you can get weekly updates at www.vinh.co

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P a g e | 77

or read my other book Billion Dollar Influence which addresses a larger persuasion framework.

Remember that you are part of this world and that you can change it.

78 | P a g e CONCLUSION

FROM THE SAME AUTHOR

Billion Dollar Influence: A Persuasion Skills Masterclass from Someone Who Sells Private Jets for a Living Paperback: 106 pages Publisher: NLPbooks (August 8, 2014) Language: English ISBN-10: 1781331049 ISBN-13: 978-1781331040 Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches

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P a g e | 79

Reviews “I'm addicted to these comics! ” -- Jack Orion, CEO at AGS Holdings

“Easy reading persuasion book to take your life to the next level” -- Lucas Di Carlo, CEO at JoBize.me

“Vinh is a genius” -- Thierry Perrocheau, CEO of Mecoconcept

“Vinh combined his knowledge on persuasion with a simple and entertaining teaching method. The result is outstanding” -- Edoardo Rossi, Marketing Professional at Ferrari

80 | P a g e FROM THE SAME AUTHOR