FHM Philippines - December 2016 (1)

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F R E E

DECE M B E R 2016

T A N D U A Y C A L E N D A R 2

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#fhmEllen

T hE hOL Iday L IS T OF T hINg S y OU w IL L wa N T T hE NO T-SO SE cRE T gROUp OF chIL I E aT E RS T hE ULT Im aT E T O y k INg S

P150

18+ CONTENTS ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS

ISSUES 2 BEFORE 200

NO ONE EL SE BU T

ELLEN

December 2016

CONTENTS

F E AT U R E S

COVE R STORY

E LLE N ADAR N A She won't let anything get in the way of her sexiest FHM cover yet

32 H O W T O W I N HER HEART The advice you need but never asked 66 O U T O F T H E KANGKUNGAN Tim Cone on his Gin Kings, the triangle offense, and the Big J 70 T OY COLLECTOR S RULE! Their shelves of toys will give you serious envy issues 74 THE GROWN-UP GIFT GUIDE What you want, but are too cheap to buy 82 T H E M O D E R N G I R L S QUAD You'll love every one of them

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK NICDAO

1 02 H O T O N YO U R T O N G U E Usapang maanghang with Chilliheads Philippines

December 2016

CONTENTS GENT

14 C H R I S T M A S 24/7 What if the holidays happened every day?

38 E R I C TA I The dancing Tongan knows something about women

16 A R T F O R T H E UNINFORMED Our tutorial will give you some "culture"

4 0 FEMME FATALE Our latest gal gets over a broken heart... with a stranger

1 8 EVICTION IS COMING The boys of Cabin Fever are moving out

FITS

PULSE

2 0 ROGUE ONE: A STARWARS STORY A film snob, a geek, and a movie buff weigh in 22 PASSING ON H AT E R S BAC K OFF? We understand 22 H OLI DAY LIT Harry Potter and Elon Musk books for the holidays! 24 S E LF LOVE Th Aegle Spa can give you a detox to end this nasty year 2 6 SERIOUS BUSINESS Gee Canlas is more than a comedienne

94 Z O D I A C STYLE You gotta dress the part that the stars laid out for you

BOOST

106 TH E D R U G S YO U N E E D Lay off the chemicals; life is a better high 108 TH E VW G OLF There has to be a reason why it's Europe's all-rounder 112 HA P PY H O L I D AY S ? Nope, says our Jose Mari Chan-hating Grinch

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA, PAOLO PINEDA, DAIRY DARILAG; ILLUSTRATION: WARREN ESPEJO & JL PATULAN

VERGE

FROM THE EDITOR

I would like to live in a hippie commune with Ellen Adarna. In the words of LSD trippers, we'd “turn on, tune in, drop out.” It would be a place far away from the decadence of society, where calm sea and primeval forest come together in unspoilt splendor. We’d build houses made of brush and deadwood. We’d grow our own food. We’d care for animals, let them run wild. We'd open the doors of our minds. We’d practice free love. We’d be naked. I imagine it would look something like how premiere photographer Mark Nicdao saw the vision of Ellen in the more than 20 pages of her third FHM cover appearance. Who am I kidding? Ellen looks good naked. I don’t. I’m horrible. Malformed. You don’t want to see me naked. I wouldn’t want to see me naked. But you will Ellen. And she is naked for this shoot. Entirely naked. You know, often the most misunderstood people are the most free. That says a lot about Ellen. She has been judged quite strongly for what she does, which many think is what she is. But we don't know that. Only she does. What Ellen has shown here is that she has gone way past the judgments of other people; she is now empowered to do as she pleases. Certainly in this cover she is very comfortable in her own sexuality, and she wants to show it. Ellen has found it in her to be free. Don’t you wish you could do the same? I mean, not be naked, because you’re probably as hideous as I am, but just be free. Then again if you’re not, go right ahead, get naked. Happy Holidays with no clothes on.

What FHMers have been up to this month

A couple of photos to serve as proof of how tirelessly the FHM team and Ellen worked during our cover shoot over at the Zambawood beach house. Rain or shine, work 3x

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ Acting Editor in Chief [email protected]

I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . . Acting Editor in Chief Allan P. Hernandez Team Art Director Paul C. Villariba Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo Associate Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara Contributing Editor Cecile J. Baltasar Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . . Web Editor in Chief Anton D. Umali Staff Writers John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza, Khatrina Bonagua Video Production Specialist Eve Baswel Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... Words Lex Celera, Ann Mari Ronqullo, Maan D’Asis Pamaran, John Paulo Aguilera, Winston Baltasar, Juju Baluyot Illustrations James Andres, Melvin Calingo, Warren Espejo, Borg Sibanan Pictures Eve Baswel, Paolo Pineda, Dairy Darilag, Kevin Cayuca, Mark Nicdao, Ria Regino, Mark Jesalva, Kurt Alvarez Styling/Makeup/Hair Debra Bernales, Genie Ranada-Babista, Danae Danipon, Badj Genato, Janina Dizon, Anne Castaño, Vanessa Estor-Salvador, Mickey See, Emmanuel Hernandez Ii, RJ Dela Cruz, Iwa Ajinomoto, Mara Ashida

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F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N ETWOR k International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar SUMMIT MEDIA President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher Aeus Kevin Reyes Deputy Group Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas Administrative Services Manager

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Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Manger Maiza G. Mueco key Account Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, George Canseco III Senior Account Manager (Print) Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T Associate Marketing Director Arlo Vicencio Assistant Marketing Manager Rica Lozada Senior Marketing Associate Jed Constantino Junior Marketing Associates Rachelle Castillo, Jennifer Dayo, Kevin Palma, Charmie Abarquez, Kay Calleja M E D I A R E L AT I O N S Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez Media Relations Associate Jensine Bolinao, Via Gonzales TRADE MARkETING Trade Marketing Officer Jamie Islo Trade Marketing Associates Hannah Roque Trade Marketing Assistants Joylyn Guinto, Raven Dorado C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S Managing Editor Marco Sumayao

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Assistant Managing Editor Franch Bustamante Editorial Assistant Therese Sta. Maria Art Directors Jerome de Dios, Rey Etable, Juan Carlo Maala, Teddy Garcia Producer Miggy Cordero C I R C U L AT I O N Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Noreen Sescon-Peligro Asst. Manager For Print And Online Distribution Ulyssis Javier key Accounts Group Head Vivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis Subscription Group Head Carla Soriano key Accounts Specialists Jennifer Tolentino, Alfredo Toledo Jr., Harold William Rey, Rejie Paquibot, Marjorie Yu Newsstand Supervisor Joel Valdez Distributor Specialists Kim Sarmiento, Roberto Revilla, Elaine Einosas, Eric Ferdinand Gasatan, Bee Datinguinoo, Aeron Nolasco Junior Sales Representatives John Lakhi Celso, May Ann Ayuste, Brylle Gonzales, Melrose Tamboong, Julie Dunn Bantan Sales Coordinator Jennyfer Marcelo Online Distribution Assistant Mark Jocell Manio Subscription Coordinators Nathaniel Embiado, Ariel Rivera, Ma. Glenda Uchi, Annalyn Arambulo Subscription Telemarketer Jon Maynard Ortiz Circulation Admin Supervisor Marie Lenn Reyes Circulation Admin Assistants Elnie Marie Delos Santos, Lizel Tumali LOG I STICS Logistics Manager Norman Campo Logistics Officer Lorie Francisco Logistics Supervisors Fidel Mitra, Marx Barroga

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December 2016

rEaCtIons

Courts apart

I was never much of a basketball fan but ever since I caught a glimpse of Rizza Diaz on TV during a game my brothers were watching, I was hooked. I have a massive crush on her and even though my interest in basketball is next to non-existent, I could probably just listen to her talk all day long. Congrats on your awesome cover, Rizza! Jason Lopez, via Facebook

LEss Is MorE

I just watched FHM ’s behind the scenes video and I must say that I’m quite impressed. This is the first cover with two girls since the new format and while they aren’t baring too much skin, the two girls just ooze with so much sex appeal. meiamaaroneismabriones, via Instagram

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tHE Bak aL gyM Is wHErE It’s at!

I really agree with your article about bakal gyms, mas okay talagang magbuhat sa mga ganun. The people are a lot humbler and have proper etiquette when using the equipment. I mean, saan ka ba makakakita ng natutulog sa machine para magpahinga? I also hate it when people flex in front of the mirror and grunt like they’re lifting ten times their body weight. Bakal gyms are the best if you can get used to the body odor, that is, ha ha! Peace! John Carlo gaylican Ifurung, via Facebook

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HEy you Found our EastEr Egg !

What’s going on, FHM ? Someone’s not paying attention to his/her work! Now you’ve ruined my collection! anson Chua tiong, via email ErratuM Sorry about that, bro. We just loved our issue 195 so much that we decided to publish it twice! Just kidding. But here’s the bright side, you reminded us of two important things: our art director needs to get his eyes checked due to his excessive Pokémon GO playing (until now); and second, our 200th issue is coming up soon so you guys better be ready for something awesome.

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6f & 7f Robinsons cybeRgate centeR toWeR 3 pioneeR complex, pioneeR st., mandaluyong city 1550

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V Verge HOW TO SOU N D

R EAL SMART Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA [email protected]

We Filipinos love the holidays so much that We spend halF the year preparing For it and then the rest oF the year celebrating it. that makes you Wonder What Would happen

If every day were a holiday?

Words: CHISE ALCANTARA photography: EVE BASWEL illustrations: JAMES ANDRES

B e a t the syste m

casual thrifty people would think of obvious things such as year-long sales if christmas happened every day. but the true centavo-strangling scrooges will find any crack in the system just to hold on to their money. loads of companies have promos for free shipping during the holiday season. but when you shop, you might not notice the absurd amount they charge (reaching thousands of pesos) for bulky products. What better time to be thinking of how to beat the system than the season of giving?

He a rt a tta ck s a ll a round

a hundred grams of lechon equates to 375 calories and 70mg cholesterol (according to myfitnesspal.com). but let’s be real: who eats just a hundred grams of lechon? and when you add carbs like pancit and kakainin, that's at least 4000 calories. it isn’t rare for Filipinos who eat a lot during the holidays to use, “minsan lang naman” as an excuse but when your answer to, “gaano kadalas ang minsan?” is, “all day, every day,” that’s when things get a bit sketchy.

Holida y pa y r a te s e ve ry da y?

according to the labor code of the philippines, employees working over the holidays must be additionally paid at least 30 percent of their wage. so essentially, you’ll be earning more every day without doing more work. that is awesome until you realize that small companies probably won’t be able to afford to have that many people on their payroll. laying off employees will become the norm, then. may the odds be ever in your favor.

You ca n’t e sc a pe pe ople

hordes of people travel during the holidays. according to reports by the national statistical coordination board, the philippines welcomed a record-breaking 5,360,682 visitors in 2015. about 550,000 of those came over during december. now imagine hosting that many people every month. booked hotels, loaded restaurants, naia bursting at the seams. and if you hate the traffic now, imagine going through that every single day—oh wait, we already do.

Verge conte m porAry photog rAphy It’s easy to see why some photos Filipino aesthetic.” are beautiful when the subjects “This, to me…shows how are flowers or the night sky. But creative Filipinos are despite [a] what if it’s as mundane as a shortage of (quality) materials,” random rock? Unless you’re an art explains Marasigan. “Yero, wood, old tires, plastic, etc., are used as critic or SpongeBob Squarepants' anything. It also speaks of our city best friend, Patrick Star, you as unfinished.” would probably never find a rock Time to snap photos of some interesting. garden pebbles and put together a Photographer Czar Kristoff, bato profile to impress some cute however, lives to take photos of artsy girls. these and call them “makeshift

EXPLAI N E R

All about the aesthetic What are all the cool kids looking at? Find out hoW to appreciate art in all its Forms WORDS: LEX CELERA

Thank the Internet that you can air out everything you got to the rest of the world. Or maybe not. In this day of feed goals and #ahrt—“h” included—there are just some...things that make you cock your head at a 45-degree angle, squint your eyes, scratch your head, and go, “What the hell is that?” They are hung on the walls of the hippest galleries in town for all the cool kids to ogle. Take our hand and let’s try to find out what makes these creations so captivating.

Shock Art Martin de Mesa’s art explores experimental performance art like Japanese Butoh, a form of Japanese dance theater. (Imagine grown men painted in white convulsing onstage looking constipated. On second thought, don’t.) “[This art form] unsettles one’s 16 FH M

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definition of normal,” Alfred Marasigan, visual artist and educator explains. “For the work of Jeona Zoleta, an emerging post-feminist painter, most of the confusion is directed at girlhood which is a time when females are under pressure to both conform and stand out.

Martin de Mesa’s work can count as shock art if people are too closeminded about gender.” It’s really out there to mess with your head. “Audiences may unknowingly participate in the artwork. I think what’s more shocking is that it ‘coexists’ with daily life,” shares Marasigan.

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VAp orwAVe If the Internet had the power to make an art form, it would be vaporwave. “The core of vaporwave is vaporwave music; the art goes hand-in-hand with the music for the complete vaporwave experience,” shares Aaron Silao, artist of the local vaporwave collective Virtual Barangay. “It is a counterculture of the current design trend of the clean and minimalistic. Iconic vaporwave art—such as the Floral Shoppe album cover and Saint Pepsi’s “Enjoy Yourself” video featuring the Mac Tonight moon man—is dependent on the music they accompany. What makes vaporwave art special is that you cannot describe it (although there are the usual elements of Japanese text, italic Times New Roman, or electronics from the ‘90s or older). But if you want to condense the look of it into just one word, “aesthetic” would come pretty close, apparently. “Aesthetic is the beauty the online community sees in the fringes of the WorldWide Web,” says Silao. Did any of that make sense? The Internet is weird. clockWise From top leFt Artifact from a Sidewalk Excavation, Czar Kristoff; Barracks Detail 2 and 3, Czar Kristoff; Vaporwave artworks, Aaron Silao; Screenshot of Class Picture, Tito and Tita, Shock art of Butoh

V i d e o A r t / e x p e r i m e n tA l f i l m Local artist collective Tito & Tita point of view that’s willing to see are responsible for experimental what you know as art, as Marasigan films like Class Picture, which was points out. “As long as anyone is first shot in 16mm, the negatives open to questioning the way they projected on a screen, then see the world, they can be rewarded recorded with an HD camera. by confusing yet insightful art,” he “Sometimes films are even shares. installations or performances. Yeah, questions like, “Where do There are layers upon layers to people come up with this stuff?” be unpeeled. All it takes, then, is a www.fhm.com.ph

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Verge

FH M COM ICS

Cabin fever The boys had a good run...

#10

sTory and arT: MeLVIn CaLIngo

Cheers for fears

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FEEL THE CHILL, FEEL THE THRILL!

PREMIERE ULTRA THIN

Ultra thin condoms for a more sensitive feel.

Enhance the thrill. Try the new EZ Cooling Jelly

P Pulse YO U R G U I D E tO EVERYtHING tRENDING Edited by PONG M. CASTILLO [email protected]

USE tH E FORCE

Is this the film you are looking for? An AnAlysis of RoguE onE: A stAR WARs stoRy thRough thE lEns of A…

WoRDs: Ash MAhinAy

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FrequeNT MOvIe wATCher

SIMPLe MAN

FILM SNOb

SerIeS Geek

“Gareth Edwards directed it, he’s got style!”

“It’s secretly based off Dark Forces! Dark Forces!!”

“It’s like the Star Wars equivalent of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy!”

“It’s a one-off aka di bitin ang ending”

Gareth’s claim to fame was his basically one-man army project Monsters, which was a fresh take on the…monster genre. You probably haven’t seen that, just like how you did not see the big lizard for half the film in his 2014 reboot of Godzilla. Aside from style moves like that, Edwards likes to give his stories that intimate, gritty vibe that you also won’t see much of in a gigantic space opera like Star Wars.

The Expanded Universe or EU was the collection of Star Wars books, games, animations, etc. that were mostly “canon” or legitimate happenings in the franchise. Disney declared the entire EU as non-canon alongside the announcement of Episode VII, but Rogue One’s heroine Jyn Orso sounds suspiciously like 1995 PlayStation game Dark Forces’ Jan Ors. And they both revolved around stealing Death Star plans. And had the presence of blackclad Dark Troopers. And both Jyn and Jan are part of a ragtag mercenary bunch. Basically, it’s the first time we’re getting a big movie based off the EU content rather than the main plot even if the mouse won’t admit it.

Just like how those kooky Guardians are related but not present in the big picture of the MCU, the events of Rogue One are important but unseen. While seeing Rogue’s Donnie Yen kung fu stormtroopers alongside Rey might not be as weird as Rocket Raccoon machine gunning goons from Captain America’s shoulder, spin-offs are usually there to introduce a safe space for a unique cast that shakes up the established hero types of the main series.

Rogue One is part of a series of Star Wars Stories but it doesn’t mean the other stories are sequels or prequels or even sidequels to it. It will have a beginning and an end (spoiler: Bothan spies did it) that actually has closure rather than a staring contest on top of an island that leaves more questions than answers. A simple man can enjoy the film he watched instead of furiously theorycrafting what happened on the internet afterwards.

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY IS OUT ON DECEMBER 15

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Pulse R EAL TV

Binge or cringe? NEtflix oRigiNal HatERs BaCk off May oR May Not BE youR NExt guilty plEasuRE

B RAI N FOOD

Here I Am By Jonathan Safran Foer Foer extracts human interest and emotions out of compelling backgrounds; in this instance, the turmoil in the Middle East. In this multigenerational family saga, the narrative is gimmicky but digestible, though doused in melancholy. 22 FH M DECEMBER 2016

with a full plot. Ballinger has been satirizing Internet fame seekers for years through Miranda, and one can spot the irony in an instant. Hers is a brand of physical facial comedy similar to Maine Mendoza’s Yaya Dub. These exaggerated expressions coupled with the purposely bizarre approach to makeup (lipstick on her ‘teech’) do to your eyes what nails on a chalkboard do to your ears. Miranda’s YouTube fans have always gotten the point: there are people so high on their own delusions they fail to see their lack of talent. The allure of YouTube fame and its accompanying perks—anywhere from sponsorships to street cred—can haunt those who pine for recognition. Contrived plot elements aside, the series does portray the struggle though ineloquently. The

Catch up on a good read

Welcome To Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor The strange town of Night Vale attracts ghosts, aliens, and all sorts of conspiracies. Uncover the mysteries that riddle Jackie and Diane as they find out more about the town and its residents.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi Drown your Kalanithi’s posthumous memoir in one of this year’s hard-hitters. What could be more tragic than a doctor with a terminal illness? Kalanithi lived a short, full life; this inspirational bio should be required literature.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by John Tiffany and Jack Thorne Fans were not left hanging as the Potter magic lives on to follow the adventures of Harry’s descendants. There’s much to be explored in the mythology of Harry Potter while downing a glass of pretend butterbeer.

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inorganic way to “go viral” is one of despair, as depicted in Miranda and her uncle’s misguided thirst for fame. Outside the YouTube-verse, Miranda’s behavior is akin to children coming onto noontime variety shows to display their talent. Even if these kids do so in earnest, we can often spot an Uncle Boy clapping, enabling, and pushing. Miranda annoys the audience in driving the point home. TV viewers don't like that. We like rooting for heroes, even if they turn out to be ruthless drug dealers like Walter White. An audience couldn't possibly love a show that makes it hard for them to sympathize with anyone in the screen, and yet we are being forced to swallow Miranda’s sob story by the end of the season.

BECausE you’ll NEvER HavE as MuCH fREE tiME as iN tHE HoliDays

Elon Musk: Inventing The Future by Ashlee Vance Ashlee Vance argues that Elon Musk is our generation’s Edison, Ford, and even Jobs. This profile of Musk brings a lot of questions about technology and innovation to the forefront. Is he shaping our future?

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Dark Matter by Blake Crouch The premise of this novel makes it sound like a Netflix Original: man wakes up to find himself in a different dimension and must now find his way back home. Don’t be surprised if this mind-boggling adventure/ thriller soon gets a movie or TV adaptation.

Slade House by David Mitchell Invite yourself into Slade House with a bottle of whiskey. Anyone who goes in is never seen again, and the house only re-appears every nine years. If you’ve always wondered about Hotel California, then let this fill the void in your mind.

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All books are available in National Bookstore nationwide

Many a TV viewer would plop down on the couch to watch the pilot of new Netflix Original Haters Back Off only to give it a hard pass. We would even argue that between the tiresome bad singing and the ol' too-dumb-for-theworld bits on the first episode alone, this show is unwatchable. But perhaps we should give some credit to the people who put Stranger Things on our screens. Haters Back Off is the origin story of Miranda, a wannabe Internet star who spends all of eight episodes trying to make her video viral—to the detriment of her family and personal dignity. Miranda, the popular Internet character played by comedienne Colleen Ballinger, already has a huge YouTube following in real life. Haters Back Off aimed to translate that into a workable television series

WoRDs: aNNE MaRi RoNquillo

WoRDs: aNNE MaRi RoNquillo

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SECR ET SPOT

The Oasis faNCy tHE ultiMatE lifE REfREsHER WitHout lEaviNg tHE MEtRo? WoRDs: asH MaHiNay

In the heart of the city–at the tip of Ayala Avenue to be precise–is a gleaming high-tech institute that wouldn’t look out of place in those futuristic sci-fi flicks where people clone themselves for organs or implant false memories in their skulls. Aegle Wellness Center ditches the sinister services for something more benign though–a scientific and individually tailored approach to wellness. If you’ve ever been told to just pop an ibuprofen when feeling sick, you know how good personalized mom support feels in comparison; now imagine care that’s taken to the next level with state-of-the-art 24 FH M DECEMBER 2016

facilities and world-class staff. If you’re wondering what the difference is between that and an actual hospital, we have the answer: better food. But really, Aegle’s focus is on modifying your long-term lifestyle for preventive health–rather than panicking when you start falling apart, and helping you invest in yourself, today, and stay fit rather than wait to get sick. For starters, their detoxification treatment is the equivalent of a vacation to

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Aegle Wellness Center has two locations: at The City Club at Alphaland Makati Place, and at Balesin Island Club in Quezon. Contact Aegle at aeglewellnesscenter. com and facebook.com/ AegleWellnessCenter

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cleanse and reboot your system without the stress of planning an actual vacation–or a hospital confinement. Aegle’s detox program will clean your blood of toxins through stimulating and resting your body’s natural systems like the intestines, liver, and skin. The end product is a recharged and relaxed you, and when people ask where you got your newfound healthy glow, you can be totally nonchalant and coy and just reply, “Oh, just here in the city.” www.fhm.com.ph

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STAY TU N E D

Live now: Gee Canlas ThE aCTREss anD YouTuBE vloggER has sERious Chops in CoMEDY iT’s no laughing MaTTER

WORDS: POng CaStillO PHOtOgRaPHY: PaOlO PineDa Of MiDnigHt BOnkeRS StYling: DeBRa BeRnaleS MakeUP: Janina DizOn HaiR: eMManUel HeRnanDez ii

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Gee Canlas wants to break the mold of sexy comediennes. However, that idea could be difficult to grasp, with her traipsing around in the GMA sitcom A1 Ko Sa ‘Yo in scant clothing. Gee gets candid and funny with equally captivating actresses while playing the role of an ex-overseas entertainer from Japan. “With A1, the challenge is not in pulling off the sexy-funny role,” says Gee. “Everyone takes care of how they look. Madali na makitang sexy ka o maganda ka. The real challenge is having real chops in comedy.” Luckily, Gee is covered in that department. She’s a big fan of Tina Fey and the satire Saturday Night Live, she’s managed by the same group that handles comediennes Tuesday Vargas and Valeen Montenegro, and she dubbed for Eugene Domingo in Kimmy Dora. “I draw inspiration from them when it comes to my craft,” says Gee. But her natural ability to tickle your funny bone comes from something more personal, though. “I’m the girl who always has to prove herself first before people notice me. Looking back, I’ve learned how to embrace 28 FH M DECEMBER 2016

my uniqueness as a woman and as an artist. I was the ugly duckling; the small, dark kid. So I [challenged] myself to try and be good at what I do.” And good comedy is what she does best in her one-woman online show Gee TV (look it up: www. geetv.online!). There she pokes fun on millennial-focused topics such as communication problems, relationship dynamics, and pop culture. “It’s self-deprecating because all Gee TV episodes are based on my personal experiences,” she says. “And I think it’s funny to other people because it’s relatable.” facebook.com/FHM.ph •

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Now if you think a funny guy like you may have a future with Gee, pay heed: Gee says that a guy has to be street-smart to catch her attention. “And to be that, you have to have seen many things, have met a lot of people…gusto ko yung mataba ang utak para witty banter can happen between the two of us.” And that’s when you realize breaking the mold of an ordinary funny guy might just do you good in landing a date with a girl like Gee. “I may be funny, but I am an alpha female. I can take a guy na alpha rin…yung kaya akong basagin sa kalokohan at katatawanan.” FH M www.fhm.com.ph

Follow Gee at www.geetv.online youtube.com/ geetvofficial facebook.com/ geetvofficial

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DECEMBER 2016 FH M 29

30 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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G Gent B E L Ad I Es’

FHM’s

A mAN

Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR [email protected]

Updated

guide to

Winning a woman's

heart

(AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH IT) J O H N PA U L O A G U I L E R A

R IA R EG I NO O F FAT C AT STU DIO STYLI nG DEBRA BERnALES MAKEUP JAnInA DIzOn HAIR I wA A J I n O M OTO LInGERIE FROM SEXY SECR ETS PH www.sexysecretsph.net

Introducing!

Rose Turner www.fhm.com.ph

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DECEMBER 2016 FH m 33

THey say THe only THing consTanT in liFe is cHange. That applies to everything that exists—people’s sense of fashion, legal systems, cultural practices, even the world of dating. A lot has been revolutionized, albeit for now. Focusing on the latter, finding the perfect mate in the modern era has become far removed from the traditional harana, lola-wooing, and love letters on stationery. Technology and society’s burgeoning sexual liberation have disrupted the customary love process.

No.

1

How to

CATCH HER ATTENTION The competition begins with your drawing power, the ability to get noticed in a sea of potential partners. Hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, a.k.a. the female members of the FHM staff, on what usually turns their heads:

#2 HOW TO

But still, romance boils down to the undeniable connection between two people. The methods to winning her heart might’ve been altered through time, but the essence of romantic love is unwavering. FHM attempts to decipher the new-age dating scene hoping to find out what has changed and what hasn’t since the advent of social media and promiscuity. Use this as your guide to meeting your match and making the relationship work.

ASK FOR HER NUMBER Don’t. Wait, what?

Apparently, “asking” for her number puts you at a disadvantage: you can be easily rejected. Avoid phrases like “Can I?” or “Is it okay?” Instead, just give her your number or tell her that you should swap digits. Confidence is key here.

He shouldn’t be trying to get my attention in the first place. Just carrying himself and dressing well is more than enough to intrigue me. He doesn’t need to be flashy at all.” —Pong, assistant managing editor

All the more reason for the two of you to continue talking to each other. She will also appreciate the flattery, as it suggests that she is a good conversationalist. That’s when you follow up with a simple, “Give me your number.”

Know when to stop. If you feel

she’s starting to make things up to dodge your request, maybe it’s time to back off. In this case, she’s either taken or she thinks you’re taken. (Or she just doesn’t like you.) Forcing yourself on her isn’t the solution.

No.

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HOW TO

PAY HER A COMPLIMENT ONLINE

Less hair, less worries. Grooming is a reflection of a man’s personality. So if his hair is longer than [mine] or the beard is too thick, then I may have to pass.” —Rose, staffwriter

There’s a thin line between being a creep and being an admirer. Creepiness consists of liking consecutive profile pictures and old photos of her in one go. That is shameless stalking. At least be low-key when checking her out. Admiration shows in flattering her with smart statements rather than dropping one-liners that border on catcalling (e.g. chicks, seksi). Moderation is key. Take it easy; don’t suffocate her with adoration.

I usually eavesdrop on small talk to gauge if he makes sense. More than the looks, his ability to sustain a conversation has more bearing when [looking for] someone for keeps.” —Khat, staffwriter There’s no harm in flashing those pearly whites. Women are drawn to an approachable aura, which makes an introduction easier for both sides. It’s important [for men] to not come off as intimidating.” —Eve, video producer

34 FH m DECEMBER 2016

Let her know you’ve enjoyed your quick chat.

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#4 HOW TO

IMPRESS HER WITH YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS

Puns and quips: surefire hits. Making her

laugh never fails. If her newsfeed is like everyone else’s these days, there will be too many negative news bits in there. Your posts with funny references or clever wordplay will be the easiest to digest.

No ‘Dear diary’ moments. If you regularly fume on social media with kilometric whiny posts about how badly life is treating you, imagine how you’re going to be when the two of you argue face to face. Also, remember this: if a girl is into tragic novels, she’ll always pick a book over your sorry Facebook posts. Grammar, please. Think [and spell-check]

before you click. You can always go all-Filipino or impress with your smart one-liners if you aren’t too sure of your captions.

5

No.

HOW TO

CONVINCE HER PARENTS TO LIKE YOU Dr. Cely Magpantay, a psychologist at St. Luke’s Medical Center, says that dads have basic protective instincts, so sometimes you come off as a threat to him—“taking ownership for someone he’s cared for all his life.” “To get on his good side, make him trust you by bonding with him over man activities,” says Magpantay. Also, it won’t hurt to shell out some bucks for tita’s favorite chocolates. Get on their drift and stop seeming like an intruder in their home. Good luck!

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No.

6

How to

PROLONG TEXTING/ CHATTING Because a simple “What’s up?” can only get you so far, and not everyone is interested in what’s happening to the country. If you wish to have a conversation that could go on until the wee hours of the morning, talk about these: • Funny GIFs and images In one of Tinder sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino’s online articles, she says that dropping graphics and videos will increase interaction twice as much than regular text messaging. • Passion Nobody gets tired babbling about his/her interests. Avoid talking too much that she won’t have a chance to chime in. When you come up for breath, it will be a good idea to find out what she likes as well. • Former flames Contrary to popular belief, most people are quite open when discussing their failed relationships, which is quite the compelling subject. The moment she goes into the details, it means she is starting to trust you by sharing something intimate with you.

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7

HOW TO

SEAL YOUR SECOND DATE (AND THE NEXT ONES) So she finally accepted your invitation to go out. The next question is, how can you ensure a followup? Honestly, you don’t need to be too fancy with fine dining or a bouquet of long-stemmed roses. Just do these simple gestures and she’ll be the one asking you out in no time: • Fetch and drop her off. When it comes to first dates, most women still like it old school. • Put down your phone. This should be automatic. The only time you’re allowed to touch your phone is before the server takes your official date photo, and when you book a rental car after. • Pick up the tab. The modern woman has no problem paying for her own meal, but some appreciate a gentlemanly treat. Besides, you’ll get to that phase anyway.

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8

#

10

No.

HOW TO

HOW TO

MAKE IT OFFICIAL

KISS PROPERLY

When all that's left to is to confirm your relationship, you have to broach the subject during one of your conversations. Besides proper timing, there are ideal ways to carry out that mini-proposal; here are samples of what you should and shouldn’t tell her before changing your FB status.

There’s always room for improvement when it comes to puckering up. That is why for tried and tested techniques in making out, we break down the last three winners of the MTV Movie Awards Best Kiss:

“Kelan mo ba ko sasagutin?” “Take your time; things like these shouldn’t be hurried. I’m willing to wait for your sweet ‘Yes.’” “Ano na ba tayo?” “I treasure what we have right now, despite the lack of proper labels. I just want to tell the world how much I love you.”

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson) If your method can get a stone-faced Kristen to break out an emotion, then it must be that good.

“I like you, and you like me. So what are we waiting for?” “I like how things are going between the two of us, and I would love to take it to the next level.”

9

No. Silver Linings Playbook (Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper) The only thing that ruined that perfect smooch was the piece of paper Tiffany (Lawrence) was holding. Make sure to free up those mitts for an emphatic embrace.

We’re The Millers (Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and Will Poulter) This isn’t exactly our idea of a kissing tutorial. But because it involves Emma and Jen, we’re not complaining. 36 FH m DECEMBER 2016

R E S O L V E

No.

HOW TO

HOW TO

C O N F L I C T

You can come up with the most sound arguments while squabbling with your woman and still end up with her hating you. Believe it or not, there’s a foolproof way to end all kinds of verbal tussle. A 2015 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered something revolutionary, at least for men. The study found out that responding to women along the lines of, “I see where you’re coming from,” can calm the storm and create a more peaceful environment to discuss your issues. In this study, researchers analyzed 247 couples, asking them to identify things they usually fight over and then were asked to try to resolve them. After the exercise, results bared a pattern: those who felt like their partners made an effort to reach out to them were happier in their relationship than their apathetic counterparts. According to the study, “If partners feel understood by each other, there may be no need to fight in the first place. But when couples do find themselves in the midst of fighting, perceived understanding can help attenuate the negative effects of that conflict.”

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KNOW WHEN SHE’S READY TO DO THE DEED A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on 268 subjescts says that women are actually more into the deed than you are. So the challenge is just in decoding the signs she gives you. • She invites you to her place or comes over to your place more often. Especially if both of you live by yourselves. • She gets extra touchy. It can only point to her building sexual tension and chemistry in preparation for the main event. • She turns the flirting up. Notice how naughtier her texts has suddenly become? Clearly, she wants the D. FH m

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Is she NAUGHTY or NICE? Better check that list twice.

Take Rogin-E daily.

SURVIVE THE HOLIDAZE

It’s time to think long and hard about what you’ll be giving your girl this Christmas. After all, if she’s going to be unwrapping anything this holiday season, it had better be something special. And to make sure she has a banging good time, you’ll need something to supplement your strength. Thankfully, Rogin-E’s unique combination of Ginseng for endurance, Royal Jelly for vitality and Deanol for mental potency will help you brave the Christmas crowds and find that perfect gift for your lady.

ASC Ref. No. B066P111816R L.PH.MKT.CC.10.2016.0177

Gent WHAT I KNOW ABOUT

WOM EN

The tough softie

ERIC TAI IS juST LIkE ANy REGuLAR SuPERHERo you SEE oN THE STREET: RouGH oN THE ouTSIDE BuT A TEDDy BEAR oN THE INSIDE AS ToLD To MAAN D’ASIS PAMArAN | PHoToGRAPHy DAIrY DArILAG STyLING GeNIe rANADA-BABISTA | GRoomING ANNe CASTAÑO

He is a God-fearing, rugby-playing, dance floor-slaying, muscle-bound Tongan—he might as well be a superhero, if you ask the women of the world. Eric “Eruption” Tai used to be on your TV screen as one of the co-hosts of It’s Showtime. But this time, fans are supporting him and his wife Rona Samson’s bid for road warrior on season 5 of AXN’s The Amazing Race Asia. “When I was a kid growing up in New Zealand, sports was the only thing going for a lot of kids on the street; it was about playing basketball or rugby,” says Eric. “When I was about 3 or 4, I was playing outdoors a lot. By the time I was in high school I was into a lot of sports including rugby, cricket, volleyball, and track and field. Who you surround yourself with is what you become and all my friends were athletes.” Since then, Eric’s been a sales consultant for a gym (where he went from 170 lbs. to 220 lbs. of pure muscle), a missionary for the Church of the Latter Day Saints, a security guard, factory worker, a night club manager, a dancer, an honorary Filipino, a TV co-host, and finally, a rugby player for the Philippine national rugby union team (the Volcanoes, for short). He shares with us all he knows about women—and we tell you, the guy knows what he’s talking about. Girls like men who know how to dance. [Dancing] really is an attraction. I would say that [this talent] is something unique I possess. Girls get to see a lighter side of me and become less intimidated. Guys approach me too, like “Astig ito ah! Ang galing mo!” It helps to start up a conversation.

38 FH M DECEMBER 2016

Pick-up lines don’t really work on girls. [When I was single] I didn’t use pick-up lines per sé. I just approached girls and started a conversation with them based on what I thought they liked. This doesn’t usually happen in a bar but in a quieter place, like a coffee shop or a bus stop. If I saw a girl reading Stephen King’s It, I would know that she likes horror and she likes it rough. I just went up and asked her if she saw the movie, something like that.

There are girl “playas,” too, not just guys. What you need to do is never give your trust to someone at the first get-go. Follow your heart, but use your mind, too. Love exists but it doesn’t mean that if you are on cloud nine after your first couple of dates, you already have to give your all. Love has to be developed as well as trust. That goes hand in hand. My wife and I were in the getting-to-know stage for eight months before we became a couple. And we waited a year and a half before getting engaged; then waited a year after that to get married.

‘You can’t be tough and not show Your emotions at all; that’s not good

With smart women, obvious compliments don’t work as well as “sensitive-guy” compliments. I would compliment women on something not as cliché as “You have beautiful eyes.” I’d ask about the shirt she’s wearing or her glasses. How she responds will clue you in if she likes you. If she just says, “Thank you,” that means she’s not interested. If she asks a question of her own, that means she’d like to keep the conversation going. Older women are attracted to big guys. While girls get scared and think that I am unapproachable, I have also found that older women are attracted [to big guys like me], because I guess they haven’t met anybody my size before and they find it appealing. Obviously with these guys being big, [the women] expect rough times. Sometimes we might get a little bit rough, let’s just keep it at that. What they don’t know is that I’m a big teddy bear. Not all women like buff guys, though. Some want someone who’s comfortable with themselves.

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I believe what girls are looking for is a balance between the tough guy and the sensitive guy. You can’t be tough and not show your emotions at all; that’s not good. [Girls] like a guy who can be tough when the situation calls for it, someone who can make a stand when it counts. But it’s also nice to have a calm, soft side, too. That said, some girls can be just as brutal [as tough guys]. Women are into real men. For me, it’s not about the muscles or machismo. A real man is God-fearing. He knows what he wants, he won’t stop until he gets it, but at the same time knows his limits. He knows when to calm down and when to rage and stand up. He knows his responsibilities and knows what he needs to do to better himself. If he is in a relationship, he does what he can to protect that relationship. www.fhm.com.ph

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DECEMBER 2016 FH M 39

PHOTOGR APHY: KEVIN CAYUCA

Gent

Sex

D O S S IE R

Femme Fatale A sAlAcious encounter with A strAnger uncovers her nAughty side

Anna Cruz,

21

Makati 8:00 p.m. I was 21 when I found out my boyfriend of three years was cheating on me. I was upset about it for some time. But I decided I needed to move on for the sake of self-preservation. So when my friend Matt asked me to come to the birthday party of his soccer teammate, I didn’t hesitate. Matt and I are kind of best friends—a first-degree friendship that was precious to him. When I got to the party, I didn’t know anybody there but him. The celebrant was Brandon, a half-British-half-Filipino guy working in a bank in Manila. And the party was filled with other guys like him: rowdy, merry athletes, mostly foreigners sent as expats to work in the city who found solace in sports. When the party was wrapping up, Matt and Brandon and I, along with a few other girls, decided to ditch the bar and head back to Brandon’s apartment. We drank some more before people began to fall asleep. I decided I had sobered up and it was time for me to go home, so I went up to Brandon to say goodbye. He was sitting in the dining area, drunk, when he looked up at me; he put his hand on the inside of my thigh and told me to stay. He asked me to accompany him out to the balcony so he could have a smoke. When we got out, he smiled at me as he took a few puffs on his cig. Without a word, he leaned in and kissed me. I was shocked by the aggression, but I kissed back. He hiked up my short skirt, pushed aside my thong, and casually slid his fingers inside me. I quietly moaned in his mouth as his lips muffled my cries. I pushed him away. “No… I should go,” I said, knowing it was the right thing to do He stepped back and sighed, “Yeah, no…we can’t do this…you should go.” I looked up at him. “You’re cute,” I said. He smiled back at me, “You’re dangerous.” The following week at work, all I could think of was Brandon. I couldn’t get the memory out of my head, getting turned on at the most inappropriate hours. Then one day, as I sat in my office cubicle, a message popped up on Facebook. It was from him. 40 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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Brandon: Hello Me: Hey, what’s up? Brandon: Not much. Brandon: How much have you been thinking about the balcony? Me: Ha ha! You have no idea. Brandon: Want to catch dinner this Friday? My place? Me: Yeah, sure. Me: Where is your place again? Brandon: Ah, you don’t remember… not a surprise. That Friday, I rang his doorbell, and he opened the door in his shorts and a sando. We sat on the couch, fumbling at small talk as the tension between us began to fire up. Finally, he kissed me. I crawled on top of him, sitting on his lap. I could feel him getting hard underneath me, the bulge warm and firm. He was six years older than me, and he handled me with an authority that was irresistible. He lay me down on the couch, removing my panties as he ran his lips along my thighs down. He continued to eat me as he thrust his fingers inside. I threw my head back with pleasure. He was strong and seemed experienced. He grabbed my arm and pulled me outside, onto his balcony again, where it all began. He spun me around and pushed my bare chest against the railing. We were both naked in the dead of night. “This is what you want, right?” he asked roughly. “You’re dangerous,” he said. Dangerous. I liked the way it sounded even if it felt foreign to my ear. We moved into the bedroom. Brandon was romantic with his words, but brutal with his actions. He took me to the bathroom and placed me on the countertop, and he fucked me while he watched in the mirror. I came. Back in the bedroom, he told me to lie down, moving his crotch close to my face. “Put my balls in your mouth,” he commanded, as he kneeled down close to my face. I cupped his balls with my lips. I came again. We finished about 30 minutes later. I lay next to him completely spent but satisfied. Then his phone rang, and he exited the room to take the call. `“Hallo,” he exclaimed excitedly, sincerely—it was his girlfriend on the other line. I knew he had a girlfriend all along. She was at the birthday party. They talked while I lay on their bed, in their apartment—an intruder. An intruder who was sickeningly pleased with herself, and already dreaming of the next encounter.

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witness ellen adarna bas k i n th e g lo ry of complete freedom

Venus

Unbound p h o to g r a p h y

mar k n i c dao wo r d s

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st yl i n g

da n a e dan i p o n as s i st e d by J oy b e r na r d o of

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Zam bawo o d b eac h h o U s e, sa n n a r c i s o, Z a m ba l e s w w w. z ambawo o d . c o m ac k n owle d g e m e n ts : b e lo m e d i ca l g r o U p, a rt i st i Q U e h e a lt h s p e c i a l i st, p o s h na i ls, h a i r s h a f t sa lo n f o r h a i r c o lo r, p r et t y lo o ks p e r ma n e nt ey e b r ows s p e c i a l t h a n ks to m s. Va n s oyo s a

I T WA S T H E B L I S T E RI N G H E AT o f t h e Z a m b a le s s u n t h at t r i ed to u p s tage Elle n A da r n a du r i ng h er t h i r d F H M c ov er s ho ot. Everything was serene—the lush greenery, wild flora, an expanse of sand and stone and rolling clouds on the horizon. As rays of splintering light from above shone through the pine branches, the scent of dry woodland grass escaped from beneath her feet. But there was no reprieve from the unforgiving humidity. It was sweltering hot. A temperature so palpable that both talent and crew were melting. We were only twenty minutes into the proceedings to be exact. Stark naked, with only thorny vines to barely cover what was needed, the Cebuana heiress-turned-actress remained a vision in front of the camera. With each shot, she seemed to resemble Mother Nature at her strongest: fiery yet benevolent, reckless yet in control. And then Ellen Adarna fainted. “I don’t know exactly what transpired,” she recalls. “At first, I was okay. Mainit lang. And then, all of a sudden, every time I’d blink, paitim na nang paitim yung nakikita ko. ‘Parang mahihimatay yata ako, kailangan ko ng tubig,’ I remember thinking to myself. And then I collapsed. I was no longer in front of the camera. I was no longer in the frame.” Panicked, everyone rushed to take Ellen back to the Zambawood mansion, a sprawling ranch estate that included a beach, a small forest, and an enviable stretch of farmland, which served as the location headquarters. She was given food, water, and sugar in her air-conditioned room. She was dehydrated, and was asked to rest.

We didn’t want to make Ellen suffer. The cover could wait. Everyone agreed we could always reschedule and that it might be a good idea to pack up and head home to Manila. But Ellen Adarna wasn’t going to succumb to the elements. She knew what was required of her and to her credit, she was determined to be professional about it, fainting spells be damned. After just an hour of getting it together, she was back to her old self—game, excited, and (a wee bit) embarrassed to let everyone down. “I guess it makes me happy that people perceive me that way [a pro]. Pag ganitong shoot na more skin and nude, wala naman akong issue. It’s also because I’m comfortable with Mark (Nicdao) as the photographer and with the FHM team since I’ve been working with you guys for a long time. Actually, I wasn’t expecting the elements to be so harsh. I had to go on a diet for this shoot, and I didn’t know we were going to be under the heat of the sun.” Funny thing is, as soon as Ellen was up and ready to continue with the shoot, the weather changed just as quickly as her mood. The sky suddenly turned dark, the heat of the sun replaced by angry clouds that poured heavy rain. And in the middle of the madness was our cover girl, enjoying every minute of the downpour as the lens captured and immortalized the moment. Inspired by her carefree attitude, the crew decided it would be a shame to not join in. Ellen paid no mind to the tempestuous waves that came crashing in her direction.

ELLEN’S TEMPERED WORK ETHIC, the reputation for being a risk-taker, is also apparent in her growth as an actress. No longer is she boxed into the archetypal sexy comedienne up for a quick laugh. She has evolved into an actress with depth, as proven in her work in The Greatest Love, where she is the younger Sylvia Sanchez, a woman suffering from Alzheimer’s, but whose memories may as well be gone because it is fraught with trauma. Given the demands of the role, and having to work with a veteran actress, we wouldn’t blame Ellen if she had shirked from cowardice. But Ellen, brave as ever, decided to take the challenge, and the reception has been positive. “You know what, drama is somewhat easier for me,” Ellen explains. “I was shocked. After I experienced doing drama, mas gusto ko na siya. It’s very demanding. It’s very demanding physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nakakapagod, pero mas madali para sa akin. Mas mahirap magpatawa. Pag sinabi sa akin magpa-sexy ka, I feel pressured because sometimes I don’t know what that means. Siguro rin kasi ang dami kong pinagdaanan in life na hindi pa alam ng mga tao so mabilis ako humugot.” Despite the very heavy material she needs to tackle on a daily basis, Ellen can still radiate joy to any room she’s in. That she’s allowed to purge herself of negativity through the show is something she sees as a blessing. When they wrap, she finds comfort in the fact that she’s calm and collected because all the hate has been spewed through the mouth of Gloria, the character she plays. She also claims to draw inspiration from her own experiences. And it’s hard to believe that a woman like Ellen—gorgeous, talented, and charismatic—was insecure once upon a time. She admits she was shallow when she began in show business, but that she was also young. She was in an awkward phase, confused about what to do with her life, always hearing people compare her with others.

“There was a time when I thought that looks were more important. We all pass that phase. And parang kinain ako nung phase ko na yun. I was negative. Galit ako sa mundo. Then, I realized when I got older, that there’s really no point dwelling on the bad stuff. I’ve learned that everything is going to be okay. If you’re in showbiz, you’ll be trained. Masasanay ka. Negativity is always around you and people will try to bring you down. I think I’m stronger because of showbiz.” Growing up having only brothers in a privileged household molded her into the carefree individual she has become. That much she knows. She’s comfortable around boys, and her no-fuss manner of dealing with obstacles that get in her way is evidence of this. Once notorious for being a stiletto-wearing, fist-pumping party girl, she’s now traded in the all-night ragers fueled by overflowing alcohol for a more mature approach to life. Not to say she no longer knows how to let her hair down and dance with the devil; but the wild beauty who used to close down Cebu and Manila’s most popular clubs and electric raves has realized that in order to maintain a healthy sense of self, she needs to kick off her heels. Ellen, it’s safe to assume, has finally found equilibrium. “Before, I wasn’t like this. I was always into extremes. When I stopped partying hard, I felt responsible for myself. It was because of the partying na nawawala ako sa mundo. It’s more fun to be bad, but because I am nearing my thirties parang hindi na bagay. Suddenly, things became smooth-sailing. The fun side, now that’s just really who I am as a person. It comes natural to me.” And it is also this fun side that has sometimes courted controversy. Even when she is just being herself, the public tends to bear down on her, either double-tapping or disapproving of her decisions. This is the price of fame.

ELLEN IS STILL SO POPULAR ON THE INTERNET that her every move is met with likes, troll comments, or online articles that attempt to dissect her pure magnetism. Whether she’s posting a skinny dipping snap on Instagram, prepping herself for the Star Magic Ball, or kissing the country’s First Bachelor in public, the masses can’t seem to separate themselves from the obsession. This is nothing new to Ellen, whose star rose from the depths of an old digital realm: Friendster. She was Internet-famous before the term was part of the local lexicon. She was cyber-bullied before it was even considered a crime. Her pictures were stolen, some used to solicit money from strangers. She magically gained boyfriends she’d never even met. Sketchy men would send her cheap underwear and threaten her if she didn’t agree to meet up with them. She was slut-shamed (and is still being slut-shamed). And she was still in high school when all this happened. Shame. “Inis ako nung time na yun,” she remembers. “I didn’t understand. Why would people use my name or steal my pictures? I was still studying and didn’t know what was going on in the world back then. Social media is pretty powerful.” The key to Ellen Adarna’s infamy, it should be noted, is in her authenticity. She does not try. She just is. Most of her videos have gone viral for a reason: she doesn't look like she's faking it. “Walang wala na sa akin yung mga yan [the online haters]. They don’t matter because my friends love me, my family loves me. I have a strong foundation and support group. But there are times pag paulit-ulit, it affects me negatively so I just block them.” Now that she’s transitioned from Internet fame to mainstream stardom, she’s chosen to focus on her work rather than choke on the miasma of vitriol that comes with the job. She’ll be starring in the teleserye Langit Lupa alongside Patrick Garcia, in a bida-kontrabida role that will add to her growing portfolio as an industry heavyweight. She can’t hide the excitement when she expounds on playing the villainess, traces of the bad girl of yesteryear coming out to make her presence felt. “Girls like me can’t be controlled,” she says, a playful, but also sinister, smirk animating her face. “I will change when the right time comes. But now, you just need to watch me grow.” FH M

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The word ‘kangkong’ never entered our conversation with Coach Tim Cone, even if his Barangay Ginebra San Miguel boys were relegated to the lowly vegetable by critics at one point. Anyway, no one would think to put them—PBA champions once again—in the kangkungan now. Interestingly, the man who steered the Gin Kings to their 9th championship—their first after eight years—has never been an assistant coach. Cone shot straight to the top coaching position when he began with the PBA more than two decades ago. It was an impressive move that required a lot of work to gain credibility among his players. “I haven’t seen a lot of coaches coach, so I don’t really know [how my style differs from theirs],” says Cone, the winningest coach in the PBA with 19 championships in his career. “It’s really been more trial and error and learning my own way; watching videos, reading about leadership, and such.” It did help that Cone isn’t a bad basketball player either. “I played college basketball in the States so I had to be fairly good,” he says. “In high school, I was a star; 20 points a game at least. That’s why I got my job. Because my boss at Alaska (Fred Uytengsu, Jr.) knew me as a basketball player. We went to school together.” A fan of NBA coaches Pat Riley and Phil Jackson (whom he has met a couple of times), Cone has his own way of navigating the PBA, its fans, and the media. He knows how to control post-game press cons, for instance. When sports writers are done asking their questions, but Cone still has something he wants to share, he goes ahead and asks his own questions; which he then answers. He

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turns these press cons into one-man open forums, no doubt fattening up the sports articles about his games. As for the recent championship that catapulted Ginebra back to its glory days, Cone is doing his best to get over it. “I’m trying to forget about it because we’re back in practice,” he says. “We want to move on; just put the trophy in the lobby and walk away. Although this championship was the most spectacular; in terms of

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the fans, the Jay [Helterbrand]-Mark [Caguioa] game, the finishing shot, the Japeth [Aguilar] shot in the San Miguel series. There were so many big moments that made this [win] special.” But how did they win? “I’m a big believer that defense wins championships,” Cone says. “We don’t just talk it; we walk it. That’s really important.”

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We heard that when you were young, you always got picked last in basketball games. Well, that’s because I was the youngest—I was 12 or 13 and everybody else was 18. I didn’t get picked last because I was the worst [player]. I was just fortunate to be playing with them. I think they let me play with them because it was my ball. My mother knew that if I brought a good ball, the best ball, then they’d invite me to play. You can’t get my ball then not let me play. [That] made me a better player because I always played with older guys. I was a little dribbling queen. I liked to dribble. How was it when you took over as Ginebra’s head coach? The first week I was with Ginebra, we went down to Naga for a mall visit and team building. I told the guys, “We have to organize how we go into the mall because it will be crazy. People will be all over us.” We got to the mall and there was nobody outside. We walked into the mall where we were supposed to do autographs and picture taking and there were like 150 to 200 people. I went, “This is not the Ginebra I know!” It was tough because the fans only knew disappointment over the last few years. I told the guys, “We got to get the fans back. We got to get the excitement back to the team. And the only way we can do that is to win.” So the adulation is definitely back. This is what it was like when the Big J [Robert Jaworski] was around. We feel that if we can sustain this a little bit, it could build up even more. I think the proudest moment in terms of getting the fans back was after the championship in the locker room. Sol Mercado came out and said, “You guys remember that time in Naga? Now look outside the door.” Mission accomplished.

Ginebra fans are a cultural phenomenon. They are the only supporters of a PBA team whose fandom is passed from father to son. What are your thoughts on this? Fans are generational. Ginebra had such a huge following during the Jaworski days and it was even passed down from Meralco and Toyota into Ginebra. Obviously, the heyday was generated through the Big J. Coaching Ginebra is like coaching the national team. You have so much at stake. Game 6 of the Governor’s Cup Finals, you’re down 11 at halftime. Were you expecting Robert Jaworski to enter the dugout? Yes, we were. I’ve been around him before. I coached against him for many years. I know how inspiring he can be. And it was especially positive because I was really negative at the time. We were down; we weren’t playing well. I yelled at the guys. He came in and he took the edge off. I was not capable of doing that at that moment because I was too angry about the way we were playing. But he came in and the players looked so much more relaxed when they came out. We got back in the game very, very quickly. And that was the key. It didn’t take us a whole quarter to get back. Your Twitter account says “Tex Winter protégé.” How did you learn the Triangle offense that Tex propagated? I learned the Triangle on my own back in the early ‘90s when the Chicago Bulls were first becoming prominent.We beamed it in from Clark with an antenna and I’d record it on an old betamax [tape]. I knew there was something [the Bulls] were running. I didn’t know what it was but it intrigued me so I tried to break it down. I recorded as many games as I could and [fast-]forwarded and rewound until I could figure out some

“We got to get the fans back. We got to get the excitement back to the team. and the only way we can do that is to win.”

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of the patterns that they ran. It took a couple of years of trial and error and watching their games before I felt that I mastered it. How did the mentorship with Tex start? Tex Winter came to the Philippines in 2000 on the invitation of Chot Reyes. Since I was the primary Triangle guy here, we were introduced and became good friends. I went to a couple of the practices of the Los Angeles Lakers. In that way, he became a mentor but I never worked for him. I [just] adapted his system on my own. Have you always stuck with the Triangle, though? It wasn’t until four or five months ago when I veered away a little bit from the Triangle system. In the finals, we were taking enhanced principles of the Triangle and [turned it into] kind of a more current offense; a little more movement, a little faster pace. But for 24 to 25 years, I’d been running the Triangle. You’ve got a bit of showtime here with your Ginebra players. I think that’s generally the league. But with the Triangle, we were much more deliberate. [In the last conference,] we picked up the pace. We’re not a running team; we’re a half-court pace team. We run quickly into our pace. But we’re not really a fast-breaking team. We want to be more defense-oriented. It’s important that we settle our defense so we run, but we run back [too]. Coaching a championship team must be an intense full-body workout. How do you relax? You always have to decompress. I play tennis every day at 6 a.m. The guys I hang out with there, they don’t bother me about basketball. We just get out there and play. It’s a great thing. In the evenings, my wife and I go to the movies; two or three times a week. Do you have a dark side, though? If I say no, it’ll sound like [I’m a saint]. If I say yes, I have to give an example but I can’t think of one. The players see my dark side in the locker room. I try not to show that persona outside because I don’t want to embarrass the guys. My wife always says I’m so passionate in the court during games but when I get home, there’s no passion. I never get angry. We never fight. I’m very easy-going off the court. My kids bring their friends to the house and they’re like, “Oh, no! It’s your dad!” They’re scared of seeing me. [But] I’m hanging out, so laidback, laughing and making jokes. They’re like, “Is your dad always like that?” I’m super laidback.

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Th is is n’ t jus t a C hr is tmas thing—this is po s s ib ly life lo ng o b s e s s io n we ’ r e s e e ing he r e

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NAM E: Michael Da Jose AG E: 34 JOB: Project manager at an IT company COLLECTI NG SI NCE: He was probably five. His dad would buy him toys and have him do a roll call of them. Dad also collects LEGOs. WHAT H E HAS: Marvel Legends, Batman, Transformers (only Autobots), GI Joe, Star Wars (Jedi and Sith), Thundercats, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe Hot Toys.

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“You will notice that while most of my collection belongs to the ’80s, I got the most modern versions of them. For me, they look aesthetically better, and the articulations are better,” says Da Jose, who admits to being very anal about the toy lines he collects. “I don’t have vintage versions—I appreciate nostalgia but when it comes to the actual figures, the quality of the vintage ones are inferior.” The guest room in the Da Jose house is the main toy lair, as is his bedroom—make that practically the entire house as his dad is also a collector (strangely, his twentysomething brother feels nothing for the toys. Yes, it’s possible). “When I set up this [guest] room, I had in mind mostly Marvel Legends, it’s a six-inch figure line that I’m really into right now. I can say that currently these are my main line. Maybe I have around 500+ of them—there are many not on display here. “There’s Batman. What I like about Batman is that he has a vast rogue’s gallery; lots of allies as well. I have figures from the comics line, the video games, the most recent iterations in the comics, and of course the movie figures, which I consider as high-end already. I have Batmobiles, who doesn’t like Batmobiles, right?” Da Jose keeps to a regular buying schedule. “I spend about P10,000 a month. I don’t buy in retail anymore. Most of my stuff comes direct from local toy shops these days. I just tell them to sign me up for a specific line when they arrive.” TOTAL N U M B E R OF TOYS H E HAS: A little bit above 2000. HOW M UCH TH EY’R E WORTH: “I am not even going into that.”

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TOTAL N U M B E R OF TOYS H E HAS: Close to 5000. Eighty percent of it is in his home in Ayala, Alabang; the rest is in Tagaytay. HOW M UCH TH EY’R E WORTH: “About the price of two Toyota Vios,” Earl says. That’s about P1.5 million.

NAM E: Earl Madriaga AG E: 41 JOB: His family owns a drug store and a real estate business. COLLECTI NG SI NCE: 1995. Not stopping yet. WHAT H E HAS: Action figures, ships, vehicles, light sabers, Hot Toys. Star Wars occupy prime space, but there are Marvel toys, too.

“Why do I like Star Wars? The special effects! When I saw Return of the Jedi in 1984, I’d never seen anything like it. When you’re a kid you never really care about the storyline, it’s about the effects!” After which Madriaga’s dad bought him a miniature X-Wing Fighter. “I still have it with me.” He really did. He showed us a really aging but still working toy. Why Madriaga only began collecting Star Wars toys in1995 is also the backstory of the toy industry. “Return of the Jedi was the last movie, then nawala yung hype, what I saw were cartoons on TV—GI Joe, Transformers, He-Man—dumaan ako dun. My craving for Star Wars couldn’t be sated because there was no merchandise. In 1991 a book called Heir to the Empire was released [a Star Wars novel] and that revived my liking for Star 72 FH M DECEMBER 2016

Wars. The first toys that came out then were the Bend-ems [bendable toys]—I was craving for action figures but that had to do, so pinagtiyagaan ko yun. Then Micro Machines came out [small toys of Star Wars spaceships and vehicles) and I collected that, and then they released the action figures na hinahanap ko dati pa.” Exactly how serious is he as a Star Wars fan? “I named my kids after Star Wars characters.” There’s more. The husband-and-wife bed has a headboard carved with the design of, not a heart, but “the Imperial logo.” facebook.com/FHM.ph •

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NAM E: Myke Dela Paz AG E: 38 JOB: Full-time custom toy artist COLLECTI NG SI NCE: The early ‘90s. WHAT H E HAS: Marvel, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones.

TOTAL N U M B E R OF TOYS H E HAS: Upwards of a thousand. He still buys toys, although he mostly finds something to improve on. HOW M UCH TH EY’R E WORTH: He’s not keeping tabs as well, but it doesn’t matter because he makes money off them anyway. “I charge foreign clients $150 for a customized toy. Local clients get 30 percent off!”

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You have to see Dela Paz’s before-and-after gallery on his Facebook page (facebook.com/ phoenixforcecreations) to see why he’s the go-to guy for customized toys even if he doesn't like to take the credit—the factory toys look like sad failures compared with his very alive and very detailed creations. “My forte is creating faces. Dun kadalasan napapatingin ang mga tao. I want my creations in full detail. And gusto ko yung buhok very dynamic.” Dela Paz has used his Fine Arts background from FEU to good effect. He sculpts very defined muscles from putty and uses fine paintbrushes to detail facial features, veins, shadings, the entire masterpiece. “For example, si Black Widow pinaganda ko yung buhok, iniba ko yung shape ng katawan para mas sexy, or si Hulk mas pinalaki ko yung muscle, nilagyan ko ng mga ugat, mas galit ang mukha. Also the paint is better than factory paint,” Dela Paz says. He shows us a gallery of Marvel heroes. “This collection started in 2009, and my main focus right now. Hangga’t maaari lahat ng mga Marvel characters meron ako, even the obscure characters that I have not seen been made into action figures, ginagawa ko para ma-complete ko sila.” His piece de resistance? Himself. “I made a four-inch figure of myself para kasama ko yung mga figures ko. The head comes from Obi Wan Kenobi, ginawa kong mukha ko. Other parts came from GI Joe. I painted my favorite shirt on it, kaya malalaman ng mga tao na ako yun!” FH M fhmphilofficial

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Tokyo Bike

There’s a picture here of another bike, lower right. (Fuse 650, 54,500) It’s sporty. You could buy that instead, but we say get a Tokyo Bike. Why? Because it has bullet headlights and a bell. Has fine English leather saddles that go with a stylish bag. Overall, it has that hip retro look. Which means it doesn’t require you to wear lycra shorts that flaunt your nuts. Which means when girls stare at you, it’s because of the bike, `not your nuts. They will want to ride it. You’ll let them. You’ll assist them. Score!

Tokyo Bike Single Speed P53,999, Maximus Athlete’s Shop Cafe

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G I F T Y O U R S E L F W I T H S O M E T H I N G D I F F E R E N T. TH A T M E A N S N O T A N O T H E R P H O N E !

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PS4 Pro and PS VR

4K hasn’t unseated 1080p yet, but the bar of entry has dropped quite a bit this 2016. Naysayers will say, “There’s no need to go 4K yet!” But once you’ve actually gamed at 4K you’ll realize they’ve been talking through gritted teeth. Get your 4K-ready PS4 Pro now and get the PS VR while you’re at it because would you rather be known as that “rational guy” or someone ahead of the curve?

Both for P22,900, Sony Stores

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STAR WARS Death Star™

One look at a LEGO model as majestic as the STAR WARS Death Star™ drives the point even further that toys aren’t being produced for kids anymore. We mean, what kind of child has the moolah and patience to assemble this 3000-piece master craft? According to Atty. TL Guanzon of PinoyLUG, not only does the set look awesome, the playability of this thing provides hours of entertainment past building it.

P24,850 + shipping, shop.lego.com

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Restored VW Kubelwagen

Got a weakness for vintage European cars, trucks, and jeeps? This former military vehicle belonged to the fleet of VW military vehicles built during World War II. But look at it now: no signs of battle weariness. The restoration magic was done by Jules Chanco. He specializes on restoring European cars.

Visit Macsport Auto Shop at 83 Gen. Segundo St., Heroes Hill, Quezon City

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Breville Barista Express

Making your morning drink using this semiautomatic espresso machine will definitely label you as a coffee elitist. But who cares? Its built-in grinder has 16-grind settings (from fine to coarse); its milkfrothing apparatus takes just 30 seconds to come up to steam for your cup of cappuccino; it’s easy to use and clean because its manual is not in Russian and it comes with its own cleaning tools; and it even has a cup-warming surface that pre-heats your coffee mug. With a machine like this at home—which isn’t bad on the eyes, either— you’ll never want to get coffee anywhere else.

P39,990, True Value

Russian Beluga Caviar

Most people don’t realize that if you eat like a slob at the fancy dinner parties you’ll be hosting then it won’t matter how classy you look. Level up your horderves by serving up some stergeon beluga “black gold” caviar and serve it up on some healthy yet flavorful ampalaya chips for that local flavor. They say if you eat the caviar properly, you can taste 15 different flavors from a single egg, ranging from buttery to fruity.

P32,000 per 50 grams, caviarexpress.com

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Fitbit Blaze and Fitbit Charge 2

If you’re spoiling yourself with smart tech wearables this season, at least be smart about it. After all, these stuff are worth a good bucks. Now Fitbit has been at the market for a while, but what gives these two the extra oomph? On-screen workouts for the Blaze, Guided Breather Seassions for Charge 2, PurePulse™ Heart Rate and Multi-Sport Tracking for both, among other things.

Charge 2, P8,490; Blaze, P9,999, Digital Walker 80 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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Vans Limited Editions

Getting yourself a pair of shoes is almost a given this Christmas. But going all-in and splurging on a limited edition pair? Not guaranteed. We say just give in to your desires and chase after the one-off’s rather than contenting yourself with the vanilla model.

Old Skool Pro 50th Anniversary, P3,498; Full Cab Pro 50th Anniversary, P4,498; Old Skool DX Veggie Leather, P4,698, Vans stores www.fhm.com.ph

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DOING WORK P H OTO G R A P HY: K E V I N C AYU C A W O R D S : A S H M A H I N AY ST Y l I N G: B A Dj G E N ATO H A I R S T Yl I N G: M A R A A S H I D A M A K E U P : j A N I N A D I z O N A N D V A N E S S A E STO R-S A lV A D O R S H OT O N l O C ATI O N AT TH E C IT Y C l U B AT A l P H A l A N D P l A C E M A K AT I

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HUSTlE If “hard work” or “effort” aren’t quite the words to describe your relentless drive for glory, gains, and general self-improvement this 2016, we suggest using the term above–aptly demoed by the finest babes of our red-carpet sponsors sweating it out at the super sleek hustle facilities of The City Club. Is there anything more beautiful and, at the same time, intimidating than a modern girl squad? They won’t beat you up, but if you aren’t playing on their level, then forget about it. A real hustler (like you) needs a dependable kit of course, and this squad right here has your back: Rogin-E to keep you going at one hundred percent, RRJ for your post-lift attire, Tanduay for the pick me up, Blackwater Women for the classy lady in your life, and of course, Okamoto’s tough and flexible line to protect your neck when things get frisky. Now it’s time to do some work.

c H E E N E E AlFO N S O

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AI R A SANT IAG O

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l H E A B E R NA R D I N O

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G R Ac I E Q U I Z O N

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MASTE R YO U R L O O K Edited by ASH MAHINAY mikeyashlie.mahinay@ summitmedia.com.ph

Seeking guidance at t h e e n d o f a crazy year? Well even you r zodiac haS changed a p p a r e n t ly. here’S our guide to acknoWle dg i ng you r n eW S ta r b o u n d deStiny

an d hoW to dr e SS

SIGNS a c c o r d i n g ly

illustrations: WARREN ESPEJO & JOHN LAURENCE PATULAN photography: DAIRY DARILAG styling: DEBRA BERNALES model: BRYAN DELROSARIO

CANCER

(July 20 to August 10) Moody, possibly a mother’s boy Shirt, Iron and Resin, P4,999.75 Cap, Stoked P599.75

PISCES

Chill, creative (March 11 to April 18) Tanktop, Forever21 Men, P805; Nike SB, P4,036 Jacket, Fred Perry

LEO

CAPRICORN

Wants to rule the world (August 10 to September 16) Tee, Ripcurl P2,099.75

Hard worker, occasional tito (January 20 to February 16) Polo, Ripcurl, P2,799.75; Denim shorts, Lee Pipes, P699 Nike SB Stefan Janoski, P5,074

GEMINI

LIBRA

Two-faced...or adaptable (June 21 to July 20) Cap, Deus P1,699.75; Polo, Ripcurl, P2,599.75 Nike SB, P5,405

Crazy (October 30 to November 23) Polo, Vurve; Denim Jacket, Levi’s

AQUARIUS

ARIES

Independent, hippie (May 13 to June 21) Bandanna, Iron and Resin, P1,249.75, Shorts, Stoked, P2,699.75 Tank, Stoked, P1,199.75

Likes to butt heads April 18 to May 13) Polo, Banana Republic

SCORPIO

OPHIUCHUS

Loves human interaction (November 23 to November 29) Tee, Ripcurl P2,099.75; Shorts, H&M, P999; Nike SB, P4,786

Glitzy (September 16 to October 30) Tank, Ripcurl, P1,699.75; Nike SB, P5,167 Jacket, Stylist’s own

TAURUS

Lazy, materialistic (May 13 to June 21) Tee, Ripcurl, P2,499.75

SAGITTARIUS

Player, optimistic (December 17 to January 20) Suit, H&M; Shirt, Ripcurl, P2,599.75

VIRGO

Clean freak, realistic (September 16 to October 30) Shirt, H&M; Tee, Pull & Bear; Shorts, Bhig Buda, P1,959

LIFE ON THE U PSWI NG Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR [email protected]

CHILI HEADS UNITE! A gAggle of pepper crAzies hAve decided to bAnd together And grow their own hot stAsh w o r d s : c h i s e A l c A n tA r A

102 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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p h oto g r A p h Y: J o n At h A n b A l d o n A d o

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T w o y e a r s a g o , s e v e n f r i e n d s w h o a l s o h a p p e n e d To b e c h i l i e n T h u s i a sT s s Ta r Te d a fa c e b o o k g r o u p c a l l e d c h i l l i h e a d s p h i l i p p i n e s. T h e i r a i m w a s j u s T To Ta l k a b o uT a n d g r o w c h i l i. T w o ye a r s a n d Th r e e c h i l i f e sT i v a l s l aTe r , o n ly o n e o f T h e s e v e n f r i e n d s i s sTi l l a c T i v e i n T h e c h i l l i h e a d s . b u T h e ’ s s Ti l l m o r e Th a n h a p p y To s h a r e h i s T h o u g hT s o n c h i l i. a f Te r a l l , h e r e g u l a r ly d o e s Th aT w i Th h i s 5 ,5 0 0 n e w f r i e n d s f r o m a l l o v e r Th e p h i l i p p i n e s a n d f r o m a b r o a d— a l l b r o u g hT To g e T h e r by T h e i r l o v e f o r a s i n g l e h o T p l a nT. The man we’re talking about is Ponchit Ponce Enrile, or Kuya Chili to his Chillihead friends. To say he likes plants is an understatement. “When I joined the Chilliheads, I was already a [member] of many other gardening groups like Native Fruit Trees and the Philippine Fruit Council,” Enrile says. “Eventually, the Chilliheads gained more members because we kept sharing our [Facebook] posts with other gardening groups,” he continues. “But I noticed that even though the likes on our posts were increasing, no one was actually growing any chillies. I thought, ‘What’s the point of having a chili group if we don’t plant anything?’ So I imported seeds myself and sold them to our members at a good price. After that, everyone suddenly wanted to start growing their own chilies,” recalls Enrile. “We never really expected it to become this big,” he says. Every year, attendance at the chili festival increases. Their third and most recent one took place just last October in the Green Daisy Compound located along Maginhawa Street, Teacher’s Village, Quezon City. Plants and greens scaled the walls of the gazebo where stalls of bottled chili sauces, honey, and pods were all lined up for eager customers. Certainly, demand for chili has shot up. “I don’t sell seeds anymore since the community learned how to buy seeds for

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themselves. All they needed was someone to initiate everything,” explains Enrile. “Our members post their sprouts on international planting groups’ [sites] and most foreigners are impressed with what our members have planted. Some of them even send seeds over kasi sobra silang natuwa sa sprouts namin.”

It’s a man’s world “It’s not easy growing chili. I think that’s what attracts men so much to this hobby. When you think about it, chilies are a very macho plant to grow,” says Enrile. Most members of Chilliheads Philippines are predominantly middle-aged men. That’s why every festival looks like a very green inuman session with the hottest plate of pulutan you’ll ever see—a hundred raw pieces of siling labuyo. The Chilliheads usually sponsor various contests at their festivals. One of the most anticipated—and potentially painful ones—is the Labuyo 100. For this, the contestants must consume a hundred pieces of raw siling labuyo without drinking anything from the start of the contest until 15 minutes after they finish. “Men, especially foreigners, treat chili-eating as an extreme sport. They love the feeling of accomplishing something challenging and chili is one of the most difficult things to eat,” says Enrile. Growing it, however, is an entirely different story. “Every chili has different needs. You must know what type of sunlight, soil, water it likes. Chili is not like other plants that you can just throw on the ground and expect to grow. There are always minute differences in growing chili. Every grower has their own way of doing things and the macho Pinoy loves that.” What chili growers love even more is that facebook.com/FHM.ph •

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they actually have some control over how hot their chilies turn out. They even use the Scoville scale—which measures the “hotness” level of a chili (or anything derived from chilies) in Scoville Heat Units, or SHU—to rate their chilies. “Different growers prefer different levels of heat,” says Enrile. “The hottest pepper that is naturally grown is the Carolina Reaper, it’s about 2,200,000 SHUs but no one wants to eat that because it’s not just about the heat. With that said, every grower still wants to grow the hottest chilies but it’s more [to get] just bragging rights,” explains Enrile. So how do you make the hottest chilies? “The more stressed a chili plant is, the hotter its chilies become. You can deprive it of water, cut off its leaves, etc., just as long as you don’t kill it,” explains Enrile. But before you start growing ghost peppers by the truck, it is important to consider if there are even people who are willing to buy them—if you’re in it for the money, of course. “Hotter chilies are more popular in the US than in the Philippines. Filipinos like hot chilies but only those they can still enjoy without feeling pain,” says Enrile. “Even hot sauce companies like making the type of hot sauce you’d want to use every day so you’d buy more. I think the threshold for Filipino taste is roughly around 300,000 SHU.” Chilies above 300,000 SHU are commonly called by enthusiasts as superhots. The habanero, a crowd favorite at the Chillihead festival, is described by most members as “flavorful while packing just enough heat.” Our local siling labuyo measures up to about 60,000-100,000 SHU. This is not to be confused with the Taiwan pepper, a milder (6,000-10,000 SHU), lengthier chili that is heavily imported by the Philippines. It is this pepper that diners usually get to try at Philippine fast food restaurants. “They are easier to grow and look very pretty,” notes Enrile. What makes chilies a pleasure to eat is capsaicin (a chemical that induces the burning sensation). While there are no real side effects to eating superhots, the proper way of eating them is to “chew and swallow properly; I cannot stress this enough,” says Enrile. “People come and try to eat our chilies DECEMBER 2016 FH M 103

and start a coughing fit that could damage their esophagus. Don’t drink water as well because it sometimes makes the heat spread through your mouth. Try drinking milk, yogurt drinks, and eat sweet things because they break up the capsaicin,” advises Enrile.

Many chili heads are better than one “Even if we’re just a Facebook group, the community is tight. We don’t have a president even though they made me the de facto leader. I don’t like mixing up politics with this. Once you elect a president and other officers, the government might get in the way of our hobby. The best part about this group being just a group of friends is that anyone can come here and let [everything] be just about the chili,” says Enrile. They meet once a month—every third Sunday—to eat, drink, and talk about chilies. It’s basically a club. “Before the group was established, everyone thought that they were the only ones growing chili. We knew a lot less about what we were doing. A lot of trial and error was involved,” Enrile recalls. The members of the Chilliheads group regularly post the progress they’re making with their plants so most people learn from each other’s mistakes and successes. “While there’s still a lot of trial and error, the process is much easier and well-documented now. All the knowledge we learn, we share with the group. There are no secrets here. If we find a way to make our chilies grow better, then it benefits the whole community because it just helps chilies become more popular,” says Enrile. The camaraderie even extends outside the group. Farmers from all over the Philippines come to Manila to get advice from the group on how to take care of their own chili plants. “Just today, two farmers asked what to do with their sick crops. I told them to pull them all out since it’ll cost even more just to salvage what they had to work with. When you’ve been a part of the group this long these types of things become common knowledge [with the members],” says Enrile. Helping out local farmers is one of the main advocacies of the Chilliheads. Enrile has retired from managing farms and now just helps small-time farmers by giving them recommendations and lectures on how to grow crops. He also acts as a consultant for bigger companies here in Manila and abroad. “Kapag small farmers, libre lang ang konsulta. Pag malaki (ang company) syempre may bayad,” laughs Enrile.

The chilliconomy

CHILI METER How Painful woulD it BE to Eat tHEsE CHiliEs? this is the closest thing to setting the inside of our bodies on fire. the burning sensation could last up to ten hours.

Carolina Reaper 1,000,000 – 2,2 00,000 s h u it’s called a ghost pepper because once you let this pass, it’ll feel like your soul leaving your body and entering the fiery bowels of hell.

Ghost Pepper 8 5 5,000 – 1,04 1,472 s h u don’t be fooled by its colorful appearance and sweet taste because the heat will knock you straight out when you least expect it.

Habanero Chili 100,000 – 3 5 0,000 s h u

small and not terrible at all. its spice hits like a quick slap to the face by a girl you accidentally called fat when you were drunk.

Siling L abuyo 6 0,000 – 100,000 s h u

take a shot of that tabasco sauce and mutiply that ten times more and feel that smooth, smooth liquid fire slide down your throat. lakas tama.

Tabasco Pepper 3 0,000 – 5 0,000 s h u

it kind of feel like your little brother punching your arm, you won’t feels it at first but do it long enough and anything will eventually sting.

Jalapeño 3,5 00 – 10,000 s h u

You can eat a hundred of these without breaking a sweat. next please.

B ell Pepper 0 shu

“There are so many types of chilies but you almost always see nothing but bell peppers and

104 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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Taiwan peppers in supermarkets,” says Jhong Hadloc, a long-time member of the Chilliheads. “Here [in the festival], you’ll see chilies of every color, shape, and size—each with their own ‘deformity,’ which makes them unique.” No wonder, then, that people from all over the Philippines come to the Chillihead’s festival to sample and buy chilis. “It’s very hard to find people selling pods since only a few farmers grow them. We’re currently negotiating with local farmers to buy 10 hectares worth of their chili harvest. We provide them rare seeds, teach them how to grow [these], and buy the [chilis] at a good price,” says Hadloc. “Ang problema kasi sa ibang farmers, madalas kapag hindi ka kakilala, di ka bebentahan.” The unfortunate thing about mainstream chilies is that harvest time greatly affects their value. “The Taiwan chilies you see in the market during this season could go up to P200 per kilo. But they go as low as P30 per kilo in the summer. To make enough profit, most people grow chilies mid-summer. This way, they can harvest just a little after the chili season when [the chilies] are too cheap to sell but not too late that they’ll get ruined by the rainy season,” explains Enrile. The Chilliheads admit to local farmers that it’s true that rare chilies are more of an investment to grow than the more convenient Taiwan chilies. But the returns of selling these rare chilies more than make up for the added effort because their value doesn’t go down depending on the season they’re sold in. Superhots can be sold for P350-P500 all year round. The typhoon season is a good time to sell Taiwan chilies, when other chilies are scarce due to typhoons hitting northern Philippines. “But then you’re only making money from the misery of others,” says Enrile. Making your chilies competitive in the eyes of potential buyers is what separates growers that are able to sell their product consistently and growers that let their crops go to waste. “When growing good chili, you have to consider four things: its flavor, heat, taste, and shelf life. If you grow chilies well, they can last in the refrigerator for two weeks. Chilies that are not well-made last less than a week,” notes Enrile. “Farmers should also take into consideration how their chilies look like because they can sell [the ones that look good] at a higher price,” Enrile adds. “While deformed chilies don’t change in taste, hotels and restaurants are in dire need of different kinds of chilies. Though what they usually want are the good-looking chilies, which are not readily available at supermarkets now.”

The market for hot stuff There is an untapped market for superhots that many people haven’t discovered yet.

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which is the chili we use for the Garapal,” Yenko says. “Most hot sauces you see in the groceries are made from imported Taiwan peppers. We try to buy from Philippine farmers as much as we can so they’ll want to keep on growing chilies for us.” But it isn’t just hot sauces that use chilies, as many hipster chefs would note. Mainstream companies also appreciate this hot crop. For instance: Magnolia’s chili ice cream and Cadbury’s chili chocolate. It’s no surprise that up-and-coming businesses are also clamoring to share their own unique chili-based creations. For one, the chili and honey wine concoction developed by Luke Macababbad of Dielles Apiary and Meadery isn’t far off from becoming a niche favorite. “My inspiration to make the wine actually came from when I first sold at the Chilli festival. I was embarrassed when I found out that I was one of the few vendors selling products that weren’t made with chili. Good thing that I just happened to sit next to Sir Ponchit. I asked for a few habaneros, I sliced them up, and I put them inside the bottles of wine and magically, okay yung dating,” says Macababbad. The chili industry is definitely becoming hot right now, but no one would believe that all of this was set into motion by a group of friends who shared a common interest. “The thing about chili is it naturally makes you happy when you eat it. It makes you release endorphins, ironically enough, because of the pain the heat is causing your body. So I guess, people who welcome pain become happy in the end,” says Enrile. It’s true what they say, then: when people put enough passion into something they love, humble sprouts could grow so much taller. FH M

“Selling our chilies to big hot sauce companies benefits both sides because we get to sell our crops and they get to use less chili to make hotter and more flavorful sauces. Compare habanero’s 350,000 SHU to Taiwan chilies’ 10,000 SHU. Ours is 35 times hotter,” says Enrile. Justin Yenko, creator of the hot sauce lines Bad Boy Tikboy and Garapal started his business because he saw the plant’s potential to go mainstream. “Before the Chilliheads got this big, a few individuals like Tito Ponchit were already planting here and there. He sometimes gave me seeds before selling them,” says Yenko. Yenko’s hot sauce, Garapal, is scheduled to be sold in a few major grocery stores in the first quarter of next year. “It’s one of our advocacies to ‘save’ the Philippine labuyo, www.fhm.com.ph

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DECEMBER 2016 FH M 105

Boost H E A L T H

ChemiCals have nothing over the adrenaline rush that is your life

TH E DR UG

M e t h a M p h e ta M i n e (s h a b u)

Marijuana

CoCaine

MDMa M e t hy l e n e (e C s ta sy )

106 FH M DECEMBER 2016

TH E E FFECT

TH E ALTE R NATIVE

You are wide awake for long hours as a result of the increase in the amount of dopamine, one of the neurotransmitters in the brain. Shabu’s ability to discharge dopamine quickly in the brain produces the elated rush. Your energy becomes boundless so you don’t feel the need to eat or drink anything which can result in weight loss later on. According to Reyes, meth has the scariest effects among all illegal drugs because it causes immediate mental health issues. In short: literal na nakakabaliw.

You want to stay awake? Take Red Bull while watching a marathon of Breaking Bad. Walter White’s messed up life will keep you rooted to your couch while inspiring you to get your shit together.

Cannabis has cannabinoids or chemical compounds that also affect the levels of dopamine in the brain, which typically results in a sense of relaxation. Sounds sweet, right? But it’s actually not a pretty picture. It makes your eyes look groggy (no girl wants a bulldog-looking guy for a boyfriend, FYI), causes red blotches to appear on your skin, and weakens your instincts. And don’t forget: it’s a hallucinogen. Repeat after us: You can’t fly.

If all you want is to feel relaxed, you’ve got lots of digital music service apps that have endless playlists of songs to soothe your mind. Lock yourself in your room and listen to good music. Spotify’s Chill Vibes playlist gets the job done. Also, if you want to get even more out of it, we recommend John Legend and Marvin Gaye. For a more blues feel, pop in Eric Clapton’s vintage Reptile album.

The effects of cocaine are almost the same with meth’s. In a snap, you'll feel extra euphoric as the happy hormones are instantly triggered to accumulate in the synapse which then amplify the signal to the neurons. It makes you want to scream “Sleep is for the weak!” because, really, the word “sleep” is suddenly erased from your vocabulary upon use of cocaine. It also causes addiction, and fast.

There are plenty of aerial sports such as skydiving and paragliding in many parts of the country that will definitely wake up even your sleepy soul. And bro, when you say that you’ve done an aerial sport, we bet a girl would notice. Consider it dagdag-pogi points. Try paragliding with Airsports Adventure Philippines. The adrenaline rush you’ll get from it will be so worth the ride.

Ecstasy prompts the release of neurotransmitters such as serotonin a.k.a. the “happy hormone.” Not only will it disintegrate all the worries in your life—it will also trigger emotional warmth and empathetic tendencies, however temporary they may be. Ecstasy makes you feel you are the star of the night. It makes you wrongly think, “Wow, close kaming lahat!” What you don’t notice is your body temperature increasing steadily until, when your body can’t take any more, you collapse.

Start a new hobby. No, seriously. Toy collection is a fantastic example. You can join online communities of toy collectors who regularly organize meet-ups and even conventions to show off their most prized possessions. Being in the company of people who have the same interests as you do gives an authentic high that no chemical can match.

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WORDS: JUJU BALUYOT | ILLUSTRATIONS: BORG SIBANAN

The real high

Dangerous Drugs Board Secretary Benjamin Reyes says that according to a survey that the board conducted last year, there are 1.8 million users of illegal drugs recorded in 2015—that’s approximately 2.3 percent of the country’s population. What’s alarming is that the youth sector (30 years old and below) comprises a third of the mentioned figure. “It’s a 50-billion-peso industry ‘yang kalaban natin,” says Reyes. So we’re here to try to give you your personal rehab session—if you need one, that is. The four commonly confiscated illegal drugs, according to Reyes, are methamphetamine, marijuana, cocaine, and ecstasy. We found other ways to get the high these drugs give, but without the ugly side effects. Shall we go tripping?

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NOW YOU CAN TAKE THE BABES EVERYWHERE YOU GO!

BRING OUT THE SWAG There’s something about having good hair day that adds an extra swag to your step. After all, how you look affects how you feel and vice versa. No wonder a well-styled head of hair makes you look and feel in control. But there are just days your hair needs a little help. For sub-par hair days, you can always take the time to spiff it up with style. Sure, it takes some effort, but is pretty simple. Start with picking a look you want to achieve. Ask yourself, how much hold does your hair need? Do you want it looking shiny and sleek? What product will do the trick? If you’re going for a sleek look with a little but of shine and going for maximum hold, taking the gel route is a no-brainer. Apply gel on towel-dried hair to get best results. Make sure to get the good kind. You don’t want to end up having gunk cemented to your head. Now get out and beat bad hair days and #BringOutTheSwag with Stylex Styling Gel.

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Boost

Get it all together This is how The Volkswagen golf has consisTenTly sTayed as europe’s no. 1 car for years words: allan p. hernandeZ

108 FH M DECEMBER 2016

The Volkswagen Golf has been Europe’s favorite car for the last eight years. Going further back, it has been shown that ever since the car debuted in 1974, the Golf has steadily endeared itself to the European car-buying public. They were taken by its style, performance, and reliability, making it a true car for the masses in the way VW had envisioned the Beetle to be. You can probably sense we only Googled that. Truth is, we don’t know jack shit about the Golf. We’ve only ever had a real appreciation of the car when it was launched just last April; the Volkswagen Philippines Group, owned by the Ayalas, only set up shop in 2013. Sure, we know VW, but still mostly due to Beetle nostalgia. So it would hardly be our fault if we don’t take to the Golf as wildly as the Europeans have (Or for the other VW vehicles currently on sale here, since we don’t see many of

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them on our roads yet.) We are still sold on the Japanese makes, although owning that first European car—one that says you’re now into finer things, having moved up in the world—is always an aspiration. It’s a milestone that VW Philippines is keen to fulfill. Perhaps working, too, against the Golf is that we aren’t as enamored with a hatchback as an all-rounder; sedans are generally the preferred choice. Obviously, the Europeans don’t think so. It’s also from them that we get the idea of a very desirable “hot hatch,” which is what the faster GTI version of the Golf is. So to understand Europe’s love affair with the Golf, we asked an Englishman to enlighten us. Chris Mooney was a colleague at FHM UK who now works at BBC Worldwide. He says: “There's a good phrase that they use at Top Gear [which is owned by BBC]: Whatever new car you’re looking for, the answer is almost always a VW Golf. It’s like the ultimate

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M OTOR ediTed By

AllAN P. HERNANDEZ allan.hernandez @summitmedia.com.ph

Volkswagen Golf RIDES lIkE

it will never fall apart. Build quality is a+

FEElS lIkE

confidence has always been your game

lOOkS lIkE

architecture rather than automobile. Think Bauhaus

BUY AT

p1,590,000-p1,790,000

First off, it did not have tartan seats. That is reserved for the GTI. Instead we had posh Vienna leather seats. Was it fun to drive? Yes, it was. But more than that—and we think you’ll find this detail more important—the first thing you’ll notice is that the car gives you confidence. Not in yourself—because if you’re already choosing to drive a car like the Golf, you should already be sure of who you are—but about the car. The Golf is solidly built that you immediately feel nothing will fall apart in the car even as you go well past the speed limit. Everything feels so together, no rattling of any sort, and the car just sets itself down the road with unrelenting focus. This is where VW’s vaunted German engineering really comes to fore. Now, about the Golf’s looks not quite reaching great-looking levels. We think our English resource person’s assessment stems from the car not being loudly styled. Honestly, when we look at the Golf, we don’t think automobiles. We think architecture. We are reminded of Bauhaus, the International Style, form and function, minimalism. It’s as though the Golf was designed with as few as five lines on paper. And if you care to look at it from the side, please direct your attention to the rear profile, where the gas lid is. Stare at the angles, the symmetry of it. You can’t get any more German than that. The Golf doesn’t look like an insect, the way a Japanese car would. It looks like a car. It blends in while standing out. Is it reliable and practical? Let’s see: 520+kilometers on a full 50-liter gasoline tank? Yes. Generous space for four adults? Yes. Tastefully designed interiors? Yes. Responsive engine? Yes. Safe? With the kind of build it has, definitely yes. So, can we agree with Europe that the Golf is the best all-rounder? Yes.

all-rounder: fun to drive, reliable, practical, good-looking (rather than great-looking). Plus, the Golf GTI and Golf R are iconic hot hatches that are about as fast as you ever need in the real world. The competition keeps trying to make a better car (Honda Civic, Renault Clio, Seat Ibiza, Audi A3 etc) but they have still never quite managed it.” Does Mooney own a Golf? “I had a Golf GTI years ago and I regretted selling it. Cool tartan seats.” Tartan seats—if you can use the word “idiosyncratic,” you deserve seats like that. Figuring Mooney’s opinion reflects Europe’s general view of the Golf, we assessed our driving experience of the car following his lead. We had the 1.4 DSG Highline with the following specs: 4 cylinder in-line turbo fuel-injected gas engine; 150 horses and 250 Nm of torque; 0-100 km in 8.2 secs; 216 kph top speed.

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DECEMBER 2016 FH M 109

Stocking Stuffers!

for every person on your Christmas shopping list!

Available in bookstores, newsstands, and convenience stores @summitbooks

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B O O K E N D E R

The grinch who lost Christmas Just you wait, little kids who adore the holiday season. Just you wait WORDS Anne MAri ronquillo

On Christmas, Jose Mari Chan is king. This would be fine if Christmas in the Philippines didn’t actually last for three months. Between the family reunions and the office parties, the Christmas season doesn’t leave you a lot of time for yourself…unless you use your time sitting in traffic for introspection and spiritual enrichment (i.e., prayer). This signature Philippine Christmas grind is something most of us did not choose, but were born into. “It’s tradition,” they say. Part of the Pinoy charm, so to speak. Really? In those months leading up to the most wonderful time of the year for young ‘uns who know not of the adult struggle, we’ve come to accept that snatchers snatch just a bit more often. After all, criminals also want their Christmas bonus. It’s a religious holiday gone wild. Shopping is at an all-time high and the malls stay open ‘til midnight. Business is good because the season of giving puts tremendous pressure on anyone who ever agreed to be a godparent. Gift-wrapping stations will give you a whopping three-hour waiting time just for that pathetic last-minute Monito-Monita gift. The tree-hugger in you cringes every time a gift is wrapped. Paper. Paper everywhere! And you curse under your breath as you wonder why this “K-Palette eyebrow pencil” is on every girl’s wishlist. The annoying fa-la-las have even invaded the Internet. When people on Facebook start posting the exact same Love, Actually memes (“To me you are perfect…”), you roll your eyes all the way back to August. Every year, you are reminded of how much they love the film and every year, you recoil in disgust. 112 FH M DECEMBER 2016

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And all Mary wanted was just to find a place to give birth in. Us Pinoys are not big on referencing Dr. Seuss’ Grinch, so in your reflections, you are simply a “KJ.” But are you, really? Are you the instrument sent by the opposite of God to kill the Christmas buzz? You used to love Christmas, remember? The year-end holidays were great when you were still young and on the receiving end of aguinaldo-loaded Christmas cards. Perhaps you felt the joy more when you sang carols and received change from your kind neighbors. (Today’s unbelievably rude generation of children carolers flip the bird when they get anything less than P20 for their warbling carols.) Maybe you liked it better when Santa was real. Oh, have you heard? People sell fake Christmas lights. While we’re on the subject, one question must be asked. Why must everyone schedule their reunions the week before the 25th? You have no choice but to double-book—you leave one bash early and rush, late, to another—all to make an appearance and ensure that you are taggable in the group photo. Two hours of traffic for 15 minutes of pleasantries just because yearly gatherings always seem to fall on Christmas. Why can’t we hang out in June? And why can’t they sell puto bumbong on the sidewalk all year round? If they did, maybe you’d go to church more. All this has, at least, clarified one thing: Family reunions exist so you could sit in a corner and stare at your phone. And while you do that, in your peripheral vision, you see a group of children playing with their presents together. That reminds you of 15 years ago, when Christmas meant family, food, and games before traffic, peer pressure, and stress. If only these little rascals knew what they’re in for. FHM

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