FHM Philippines 2014 02

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THE NO. 1 MAGAZINE IN THE PHILIPPINES

FE B R UARY 2014

TONGUE VS FINGER PREPARE TO GO DOWN HARDER IF SHE SAYS BOTH!

#fhmgetphoem

Q WHO’S THE FUNNIEST GUY TO ROOT FOR IN 2014? A ALBERT SUMAYA JR

ON THE PROWL

(AKA BETONG)

AGE DOES WORK WONDERS

FOR COUGARS

KEEP STARING AND

GET PHOEM 18+ CONTENTS ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS

TWO WHEELS GOOD! WHY MOTORCYCLES WILL RULE THE ROAD

C O NT ENTS 0 2 / 1 4

PHOTOGRAPHY: DOC MARLON PECJO, EJAY LEUNG, PAOLO PINEDA, RIA REGINO, JOHN AGCAOILI

PHOEMELA BARANDA

38 PHOEMELA BARANDA There’s a perfect time for everything. Our favorite femme fatale always seems to get it right

80 HI, I’M AN ADDICT How one man fought a drug addiction that started with hotdogs and basketball

60 MOTORCYCLE MANIA A point-by-point analysis of why two wheels are the best option

84 ANGELA GABRIELLE FHM’s latest discovery in her most daring bathroom-scene shoot yet!

64 COUGAR TOWN Are older women so much better? Two men testify

92 ANN NATNAT Remember the name. You won’t forget the body

70 RISING STARS Presenting the dudes we should all watch for this year: Betong, Chef Bruce Lim, Terrence Romeo, and the band Autotelic

96 TRINITY DANG This Vietnamese import model is someone you’d want to bring home to your mom

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T E G G 8 N p.7 TO ! E D B E H E E S S LO S

C ONTENTS 0 2 / 14 STARTER

10 BABE Warning: Darline Joy covered in nothing but tiny paper hearts may give you a heart attack

GIRLF RIEND

14 DIY Surprise your date with your balloon-twisting skills

114 MAYA T. Missing Jinri Park? Here’s someone to make you feel better

UPGRADE

16 DEAR FHM A gallery of love notes that landed in our mailbox in the past year

PEE K

20 GRUB TV Midnight Express’s Mikael Daez talks about his many adventures with free food 21 ROBOCOP Is the remake of the 1987 classic any good? 22 AMERICAN HUSTLE Other reasons to watch David O. Russel’s crime dramedy, other than Jennifer Lawrence

24 FINAL FANTASY Four FF releases this year can’t be bad 26 BOOKS Show her your sensitive side by clutching any or all of these romantic novels

105 WET, WET, WET A water-resistant watch suited for all occasions

28 MUSIC Chocolate Grass renews our liking for jazz and R&B

121 SNEAKY TOXICITY Avoid every harmful toxin that comes your way

LOUNGE

124 LOADED! The many uses of the new Nissan Navara GTX

30 V-DAY SPECIAL Your technical guide to buying perfume for your lady 32 MASTER DEBATERS Finger-banging or cunnilingus for tonight? Abby and Jahziel help you decide 34 LADIES’ CONFESSIONS Sex-periences to pattern your heart-stopping adventures after

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STYLE

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106 BOOM GONZALES AND TJ MANOTOC The sportscommentating duo helps facilitate a lively grudge match 112 BACKPACKS Hipsters, ballers, party animal—there’s a right bag for everyone twitter.com/fhmphil s

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126 HOT METAL New earphones and speakers for your listening pleasure 128 TRUE STORIES A parasailing date gone wrong, and other happy accidents www.fhm.com.ph

PHOTOGRAPHY: EJAY LEUNG, NIKO VILLEGAS, JERICO MONTEMAYORGETTY IMAGES

18 BAR ROOM JOKES This month: a talking screwdriver and cheap tooth extraction, among other icebreakers

THE TEAM: WHAT FHMers HAVE BEE N U P TO T HI S M ON T H

Clearly, the FHM staff all got the memo when we said that Phoem’s shoot would be done in shades of black and white. Si Phoem ang pipicturan. hindi kayo ! It would be typical of Art Director Paul to ask us to assemble a lineup of FHM Nation’s would-be idols this 2014...so he could throw paint on them. In the name of artistic expression!

EA Ash donned spiffierthan-usual attire to interview Phoem. Said he was going to an event, but we knew it was a shameless papogi attempt.

Posing with the fruits of our annual Christmas exchange gift. For the first time, no one received GCs, so big smiles all around!

Paul and BA’s bromantic date at Sofitel inspired us to bring our GFs there for V-Day. Stumped for plans as well? Check out their offerings (and no, the beautiful lady is not one of them).

Half the office showed up at the epic Phoenix concert but all we have is this generic photo. Sadly, no photographic proof of Mich crying from kilig at being three feet away from Thomas Mars. Near-perfect attendance at the January cover radio tour. Sunshine and Aiko offered to hold Chief’s banana but he wouldn’t give it up. And yes, he clutched it like that the whole tour. Chief, di ba nalamog yan? 6 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

BA, sa harap pa talaga ng anak mo ! Luckily, Kiel is just too happy being Batman to notice his father’s little indiscretion.

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I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . . Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez Art Director Paul C. Villariba Associate Editor Alex C. Paita Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar Assistant Managing Editor Mich R. Lagdameo Section Editor Anton D. Umali Editorial Assistants, Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay, Pong M. Castillo Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . . Managing Editor BA Borleo Associate Section Editors Mikey L. Agulto, Gelo Gonzales Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas Staff Writer Neps Firmalan WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... Words Mikey Agulto, Maika Bernardo, Lio Mangubat, Abby Mendoza, Genie Ranada-Babista, Marie Tiangco Illustrations Gilbert Daroy, Mikke Gallardo, Boisei Malicdem, Anj Javier, Sonny Ramirez Pictures John Agcaoili, Louie Aguinaldo, JP Desmedt, Jan Gonzales, Ejay Leung, Paul Mondok, Jerico Montemayor, Doc Marlon Pecjo, Paolo Pineda, Ria Regino, Niko Villegas Styling/Makeup/Hair Deb Bernales, Rhoy Cervantes, Janina Dizon, Georm Imperial, Jigs Mayuga, Rhina Montemayor, Amanda Padilla, Charmaine Palermo, Chris Rodil Rey Santos, Klick Victoria, Ivadell Vida, Bela Vitug F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N E T W O R K International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard International Editorial Manager Henry Rimmer Head of International Content Anouska Christy International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ellie Bond International Digital & Content Executive Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar, (UK) Joe Barnes SUMMIT MEDIA President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Senior Publishing Assistant Aeus Kevin Reyes Web Business Operations Manager Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Assistant Production Manager Jane M. Puno Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Designer Arthur Asturiano Production Graphic Artist Dindo Rollan Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel, Paola Ciara Santos ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-Key Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco Key Account Specialists Joey Anciano, Joyce Argana, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar, Annie Santos, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print) Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Rey Parale, Melinda Kitane-San Diego, John Mangoba Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Francis John Jimenez Adv. Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena Key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla, Chinggay M. Cabit, Marie Jo Calubay Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe I N - M A G A Z I N E P R O M O T I O N S , E V E N T S & D A TA B A S E Marketing Director Marcie S. Linao I N-MAGAZ I N E PROMOTION S & D E S IG N Creative Director Noel G. Azcueta Assistant Marketing Manager: Grace Acosta-Leyco In-Mag Project Officer Pamela Picones Creative Artists: Jay Mathew Dimayuga, Clare Felise Magno, Anisa Privado Jr. Marketing Associate Mary Princess Derit Marketing Encoder Sheryl Maraggunt E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano, Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili M E D I A R E L AT I O N S Media Relations Head Claire Algarme Senior Media Relations Associate Nikka Peralta Media Relations Associate Jieneb Kho TRADE MARKETING Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Sr. Trade Marketing Associates Caz MarinoTrade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem S P E C I A L P U B L I C AT I O N Editor-in-Chief Dondi Limgenco Assistant Managing Editor Janis Ian Gopez Art Director Jane Kristine Cruz Senior Graphic Artist Benjamin Solomon J. Arnol C I R C U L AT I O N Circulation Manager Alma M. Madelo Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera Key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang Key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen SesconPeligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep, Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor Specialist-North Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias

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LETTE RS 02/14

GET IN TOUCH! SUMMIT MEDIA, 6F & 7F ROBINSONS CYBERGATE CENTER TOWER 3 PIONEER COMPLEX, PIONEER ST., MANDALUYONG CITY 1550 / [email protected] / FACEBOOK.COM/FHM.PH / TWITTER.COM/FHMPHIL / INS TAGRAM@FHMPHILOFFICIAL

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

HIS FHM BABE My wife Jen and I have been avid fans since you started. We have bought and read FHM even before we got together. She has an account on My FHM with sexy pics, though I won't mention her account name here. She also wrote entries for Ladies' Confessions, which won Confession of the Month honors in the past. She always said that if FHM offered her a photo shoot, no matter how daring, she would do it! In November, I decided to book her for a surprise private professional photo shoot to make her feel like an FHM babe. I know Christmas is over, but you guys featuring her picture(s) would be the most awesome Christmas gift I could give her. Said pics turned out pretty awesome if you must know, and are FHM-worthy in a way. Pretty please with a cherry on top, guys! Here’s my hot momma, my sexy wife, my personal life stabilizer, my FHM buddy, my love! Earl, by email

FHM NATION ALL ABOARD Hi, FHM! Idol po namin kayo dito sa barko kung saan ako nagtatrabaho. Kayo po ang number 1 men’s magazine para sa amin. Keep up the good work! Boy Rocco, via Facebook Fan Page

A SOLDIER’S WIFE He usually missed special occasions because of his duty to our country. I know we can’t send him gifts but I believe a picture of myself with our kids and our soon-to-be bunso is the perfect present to remind Dad how much we miss him. Happy Birthday, palangga. We’ll patiently wait until you get home. We love you so much! Nice Sotelo, by email 8 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

LUCKY Thank you so much for letting Ms. Alice Dixson get what she wanted last December 2013! She is undeniably the most beautiful mature actress today! I’m sure my dad is smiling in heaven. Ha ha! (Mommy, hi! Joke lang po.) Now, my New Year’s resolution is to never ever miss a single episode of Banana Nite! Featuring Sunshine, Aiko, and Jef together to start 2014 was pure genius! I also want to share how lucky I am having Gellie Dela Cruz Villanueva as my girlfriend. We’ll celebrate our second anniversary on February 14. Ako talaga ang pinakaswerteng lalaki sa buong mundo! Baby, you are perfect to me. I want you to know that I’m always sincerely praying that we'll be together forever. I don’t want to lose you and I’m very excited to be your husband soon! Happy 2nd Anniversary and Happy Hearts’ Day! I love you very, very much! I love you, too, FHM and wish you long life! Bravo Cuya, by email

SUSTENTADO Thanks to my mom! Regalo niya sa akin ito nung Christmas! Oh di ba? Alam ni mudra ang gusto ko. Rean, by email

ANTIQUE’S FINEST

BAD ROMANCE During our Christmas party at The Reserve Bar, Ortigas, I was showing off the gift I received for this snapshot. Unknowingly, meron palang “Close Up Moment” na nagaganap sa likuran ko! Ha ha ha, hayup naman sa timing. Ma rl o n L a gus t a n

HOPE YOU PASSED

This is my wife, Jocelyn, from the province of Antique. I think she’s the most beautiful woman ever. I hope you can post her photo in your magazine for me. Thank you! Glen Schiebe, via Facebook Fan Page facebook.com/FHM.ph s

S E LF I E — F A I L! On the last day of our training at TESDA, Concepcion, Tarlac, I decided to take a selfie featuring the TESDA logo as my background. All of a sudden, this guy appeared in the background. WTF! I never thought he was there until I got home. Pwes, ito ang ganti ko sa’yo. T i rs o S i l ve s t re

Ayan. D’yan ka magaling.

t

This is me spending some time reading my babies. Our periodic exams were fast approaching, and I was so intrigued about other college students posting their “studious” pics on social media. So, I came up with this. Not an hour passed and my notifications were bursting with shocking and hilarious comments about the photo. It made me feel proud to be an FHM collector! Mark Marlon, by email www.fhm.com.ph

GALLERY

PERFECT ATTENDANCE

LET'S DO LUNCH A letter to Ms. Alice Dixson: “Thank you for finally gracing the pages of FHM Philippines! It wouldn't be complete without you! You are still very beautiful! And matagal na kitang crush! Unfortunately, I was unable to attend your autograph signing event because I'm currently residing in Vancouver. But I hope when I go on vacation in the Philippines in a few months, you’ll give me the chance to meet you in person and have my copy of your issue signed. Please. And we could probably go to lunch after? Or dinner? Just so I can express my gratitude.” Darryl S., Canada PS. I’d like to thank my cousin, Mimcy, for buying and sending me this issue!

I’m always present at your monthly autograph signing events. It was fun collecting signed copies of your monthly issues, and meeting gorgeous cover girls up close is a dream come true. Because of Ms. Alice Dixson’s appointment, though, she wasn’t able to sign my December issue. It was really frustrating because I was about 10 persons away from where the line was cut off. Even though my December issue wasn’t signed, I couldn’t help but smile whenever I look at my collection. Your cover girls’ precious handwriting will always remind me of the time I spent with them, however short. I hope there will be another opportunity for me to meet Ms. Alice. Best of luck to you in 2014! Dalevalentin, by email

LO U D S TA RT I love Sunshine and the Banana Nite girls. Starting the year with a bomb with Sexbomb Sunshine! SB Guardians, via Facebook Fan Page

COLLECTION QUIRK Cliche as it sounds, I'm an avid FHM fan. My wife thinks I'm wasting money buying magazines that I don’t even read. See, I buy FHMs but I keep them sealed so they stay in pristine condition. I always have a digital copy, though. Please post this for Munchy. Happy anniversary and I love you! By the way, after a month of being together, we found out last year about our blessing— now I’m a proud dad! @Khuago, by email

F R I E N D LY C O M P ET I T I O N My FHM collection in 18 steps down our hallway. A young friend’s photo with his collection as his blanket was featured in December 2013 issue. J o i e A nge l e s Vi l l a n u e v a , v i a F a c e bo o k F a n Pag e

THE CABINET-MAKER

THE GIFT OF ALICE I’m an OFW here in Singapore. FHM is always my bilin to all my friends and relatives as my pasalubong when they visit me. Last December, I received my special gift: Alice Dixson on the cover of FHM! T’was a very special Christmas indeed. I'm sure all my Singaporean colleagues will be happy about the special 2014 calendar as well. Michael, by email www.fhm.com.ph

Happy New Year! Sana Mocha Girls naman po ang maging cover girls ninyo or si Galema (Andi Eigenmann) na sobrang hot at crush na crush ko. Nga pala, ginawan ko pa ng special na lalagyan ang collection ko. Salamat sa mga tumulong para magawa ito. Sana ma-post ninyo para mapakita ko sa mga tropa ko sa Guidote at Delgado Sts. at sa GF ko ang masterpiece namin. Mahal na mahal kita, Grace Anne Olpot. Happy first anniversary! Will you marry me, babe? Salamat din FHM, mahal na mahal din kita! Flores Rodresly, by email facebook.com/FHM.ph s

PERFECT TIMING For the first time since I started collecting (2001), I got to get all the cover girls of the year to sign my magazines, from the country’s sexiest , Marian Rivera to batang 80s fantasy Alice Dixson. Good thing my work schedule and the timing of the signing were perfect! This victory goes to my FHM Bullboard family as well! balot_08, by email

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 9

STARTER

SWE ET L IT T L E

S O M ET H I N G

WI S D O M YO U S H O U L D N'T L E AVE H O M E WIT H O UT

P H OTO G R A P H Y :

R I A R E G I N O O F FAT C AT STU D I O I N T E R V I E W:

PO N G CASTI LLO ST YL I N G :

This lo v e m o nt h, D a rl i ne J o y wi l l t u g at you r he a rt s t ri ngs i n p a p e r he a r t s a nd re d p a nt i e s

ere is Darline Joy almost naked with just paper hearts covering her ta-tas, reminding all of us that it’s the small things that really matter on V-day. “I just appreciate it when someone takes the effort to make me smile,” she says. But it won’t help to channel your inner kuripot either. “Romantic akong tao eh , so okay sa akin maging cheesy. Pero siyempre, kung mas bongga ang regalo, mas okay!” So get in your suit, fatten that wallet, and be your best Mr. Suave. Would it not be perfect to have someone looking like this surprise you this love month? We’re sure you can take a tip or two from the queen of hearts…

H

R E Y S A NTO S MAKEU P:

A M A N D A PA D I L L A F O R M AY B E L L I N E HAI R:

R H O Y C E R V A N T E S F O R L’O R E A L PROFESSIONELLE

You didn’t mind having only paper hearts cover you in our shoot today. Are you as loose and fun in relationships? Actually, nagkasundo-sundo lahat ng lalaki ko dito ah… na kaya nila ako nagustuhan kasi masaya akong kasama. I don’t want to share bad vibes.

XO

XO

X

O X O

FYI I’m: 22 years old Longest relationship: four years Shortest relationship: two years People always mistake me for: Someone who is promiscuous. But that’s one thing I am very proud of—one-man woman ako!

irl who g f o e p y t e 'I m t h Gusto ko . s e s i r p r u s loves on, merong y s a k o y a m pag sa akin' a r a p a d n a h hina We’re pretty sure a lot of studs want to date you this month. How do you like your Valentine’s Day to go? I’m the type of girl who loves surprises. Gusto ko pag may okasyon, merong hinahanda para sa akin. Actually hindi na nga siya surprise kasi nag-e-expect na ako. Ha ha! Simpleng gesture lang nagugustuhan ko na. Any pointers we can take? I won’t mind if you give me flowers, chocolates, letters…kahit ano! I appreciate it when someone takes the effort to make me smile. What has put the biggest smile on your face so far? May time na nag-away kami ng boyfriend ko. Ilang araw siyang hindi umuwi sa place namin, then nung Valentine’s Day, he surprised me with

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bouquets of flowers, and even put notes on each. Hindi na bago ang bigyan niya ako ng flowers, pero natuwa talaga ako na he made an effort to write to me. Is there anything you don’t like to get? Say, something you think is baduy? Baduy? Wala naman. Kasi mukha talaga akong regalo. Ha ha! I enjoy receiving things…even small things. I may sound materialistic, pero I appreciate even simple gestures. If we have to categorize people on V-day, what are you: materialistic or romantic? Romantic akong tao, so okay sa akin maging cheesy. Pero siyempre, kung mas bongga ang regalo, mas okay! Ha ha! Hindi ko itatanggi yun! Does that mean you’re also into

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surprising your partner? Kuripot akong tao, siguro kasi maaga akong nagtrabaho kaya lahat ng kinikita ko, hard-earned talaga. Hindi ako yung bongga magregalo. And your romantic move would be? Nagsusulat ako ng letter and I got him a cake. Clincher? Boobs-shaped yung cake na may icing na, “Eat me, honey, I’m yours!” Ha ha! We like your honesty. Can we expect surprises in the bedroom, too? I’m a Scorpio, born in the Year of the Rabbit…so alam mo na! Ha ha! I’m really wild sa bed. I won’t mind if you play rough with me. We’re sure you saved something for this year’s V-day. Ha ha! Gusto kong gawin sa yacht in the middle of the sea! Alam mo na… mauga! FHM

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S TA R T E R D I Y

O HOW T

TW I ST A B LO ON D a z z le y our w oman or w ould - be da t e t his Valen t ine’s w i t h y our ne w e s t s k ill

W O R D S A N D S T Y L I N G: G E N I E R A N A D A-B A B I STA P H OTO G R A P H Y: PA U L M O N D O K

B A L L O O N-T W I STI N G G U I D E L I N E S 1 You’re basically twisting the balloon into segments, then twisting the segments together to form a shape. 2 As long as you use highquality balloons, not thin,

DOG 1 Twist the first three segments. 2 Then twist segments together to make the face. 3 Make a neck and two longer segments for the legs, then twist together. 4 Make a body then the back legs. If the tail is too long, (carefully) cut a hole in the other end and let some air out, then tie a knot.

el cheapo ones—you don't have to worry about having one explode on your face. 3 Get the sausage-shaped balloons, not the regular round ones.

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N R AY G U 1 Twist a handle and a bubble, then twist together the bubble segments to make a right angle. 2 Make a long segment, fold in half and twist into the bubble. 3 Repeat, making a short bubble and another long segment. 4 Insert the long end through the loops, then squeeze a bubble into the end of the tail.

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NE MACHI ST E G OSAU R U S 1 Twist into three segments. 2 Twist together to make the tail and back legs. 3 Twist two segments and join to the back to make the body. 4 Twist five bubbles and insert through the body. 5 Twist two segments to make the front legs and twist together. 6 Bend the neck to make the dinosaur head.

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1 Twist a handle and a bubble, then twist together the bubble segments to make a right angle. 2 Make a long segment, fold in half and twist into the bubble. 3 Make two long segments, folding in half and twisting the second segment. 4 Fold the second balloon in half and insert through the two loops.

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GUN

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VO L L E Y BA L L

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1 Use three balloons. Tie each of the ends together. 2 Fold in half and make a twist at halfway point. 3 Join ends and twist to make a figure 8 to two of the balloons. 4 Fold in half and insert one balloon through the other. 5 Insert the third balloon though the inside balloon and tie ends together. 6 Move balloons around to hide the joins.

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BAS E BAL L CA P 1 Use two balloons: for the first one, twist a short bubble then a longer one for the second. 2 Twist together to make a loop. 3 Repeat to make a second loop. 4 Insert the second balloon through the loops, then tie the three ends together at the back.

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S TA R T E R D E A R F H M

THE YEAR IN LETTERSENDING COUPLES

Be c au s e i t ’s t he lo v e mon t h , her e ’s a r eha sh o f a ll t he mu sh a nd lo v e no t e s y ou ’ v e s en t u s t he y e a r be f or e . We should be up t o our c olla r s w i t h a n t s , bu t he y — k e ep t ho s e le t t er s c oming !

What else kept our mailbox full and f un i n 201 3

J a n u a r y 2 0 13 D E E P I M PAC T I proposed to my “Maldita,” at Spring Joy, Sky Park, Singapore. After months of separation and difficulties we’ve endured, we can say we’re a better and stronger couple now. As an additional surprise, I proposed to her again just to prove the depth of my love for her. This picture is my New Year’s gift for her. Cheers, guys! Allan, by email

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let ter and p hoto senders made it to our p ages

senders sent l ove n o t e s a n d shoutouts

F N NEED O

I A p r i l 2 0 13 AN HIS SECRET’S A WINGM OUT I’ve been an FHM fan since the Katya Santos cover of 2003. I was just 18 when I got my first FHM, a gift from my friends. I love the Karylle Marquez-Amanda Griffin cover, but what I love the most is your 150th issue with Marian Rivera. She is really hot and I’ve waited to see her on your cover. Here is my picture with my best friend (my Princess). We’ve been friends since I was 15. She doesn’t know what I really feel about her. I hope you can post our picture and help me let her know that I really, really love her. Di ko kasi alam paano sasabihin sa kanya. Thanks, guys! Jocjoc, by email 16 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

senders bragged about their FHM collections

M a r c h 2 0 13 H A P PY T O G E T H E R We will be celebrating our anniversary this February and I want to surprise him with this. I’m sharing some of our pictures because we love to travel. It’s a compilation of our trips to Cebu, Boracay, Bohol, and Palawan. Happy seventh anniversary, Engr. Daniel A. Malabanan, CSP. I love you so much! Hope you can post this becasue he’s an avid collector of FHM. More power, FHM ! Lalaine, by email

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30 cases of photo bombers in Who the Hell are You?

MOST ED T R AV E L L

brave souls sent in their “very FHM ” shoots— kili-kili anyone?

A ND L E T ’ S NO T F ORGE T…

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gutsy FHM reader confessed his love for assistant managing editor Mich Lagdameo in our March 2013 issue. Lakas mo, ser!

MOST COLLAGE HAPPY

J u l y 2 0 13 I’ve been a fan of FHM since 2003. Even now that I’m married, I always make sure that I get a copy. I want my husband and I to be a part of FHM because we’re celebrating our first wedding anniversary. To my Sergeant, I love you forever. Ked and I are always here for you. Issah, by email

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W O R D S: P O N G C A ST I L L O

MOST (PRINCE) G CHARMIN

GETTING H I TC H E D Decent and indec en t pr op o s a l s , f ia nc é e - hoo d a nd ne x t le v el c oupling . A nd w e t hough t our r eader s w er e s o macho…

F e b r u a r y 2 0 13 HEARING WEDDING BELLS

We are in the process of applying for a K-1 fiancee visa to bring her to the USA. Then we will get married once she arrives in the USA. I love her so much and I’m excited to begin our life together and start a family. I’m sure she will be happy to read my letter. Thanks for being a part of our life, FHM. Scott, by email M a y 2 0 13 BEST WISHES

It’s my second time to send you guys our picture. The first one was some years ago when we were young pa (we’re both law students now).

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a decade. Solid, ’ika nga nila. From high school sweethearts, we’ll finally get married on the 18th of this month in Vigan. FHM has been a big part of our lives. Thanks to your unending articles about you-know-what, our relationship became stronger and sexier. I’m asking you another favor to post some of our pre-nup photos as my surprise gift to her. I just want the whole FHM Nation to know how lucky I am. She’s my happiness and I won’t stop being proud of her. My tattoo

says it all. I don’t have much, but this gift will really be awesome. Chino, by email J u n e 2 0 13

surprise him because on September 15, we’re celebrating our seventh anniversary. Though we’re apart (he’s an OFW), I

HE FOUND THE ONE

I am an avid fan of your mag and I’ve been collecting it for almost three years. This time I want to have my love (soon to be my girlfriend) and I in one of your pages. This is one of my surprise gifts to her as she celebrated her birthday last May. I want to tell to the universe how much I love her. This was taken last November 20, 2012, one of my happiest and most memorable days with her. I love you, Raeza. Please say yes to me. You are the one I want to be with forever. Manuel, Laoag City S e p t e m b e r 2 0 13 SEVENTH HIGH

My fiancé is a great fan of FHM. I want to

promised to keep your September issue for him. We are getting married next year. We both loved your July issue because we’re big fans of cosplay queen Alodia Gosiengfiao. I love you, Mico Olea. Wag ka magsasawang magmahal sa akin. Don’t worry, we’re okay. Take care always and happy seventh anniversary. Leslie, by email

ILLUSTRATION: MIKKE GALLARDO

S TA R T E R J O K E S

d y, e m o In c trust we COST-CUTTI NG One day, Juan walks into a dental clinic and asks how much it will cost to extract a wisdom tooth. “P5,000,” the dentist says. “Ang mahal!” Juan replies. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?” “Well,” the dentist says, “if you don't use anesthesia, I can knock the price down to P3,000.” Looking annoyed, Juan says, “Mahal pa rin!” “Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to P500.” “Ayos!” says Juan, “Please book my wife for it next Tuesday.” Coco_07, by email 18 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

THAT’S WHAT H IS DADDY NAM E D H I M A screwdriver walks into a bar and people ogle. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” Surprised, the screwdriver responds, “Really? You have a drink called Tonyo?” Eric, by email

IT COULD’VE BEEN A NICE STORY

! OUCH

d The class assignment g in be s r is lyin rn in English Writing A farme e when he tu , wif ays s is Composition was h d n h a it w tits bs her k out to write about her, gra could get mil w.” to u something , if yo the co “Honey we could sell ssy and unusual that u e of thes e grabs her p ld get happened hen h y, if you cou T during the past one uld sell s ays, “H of here we co week. Pedro got ut eggs o the chickens.” miles, up to read his. ,s s to him , “Jose fell in the She turn dick and s ays is well last week…“ is t th h e s g b ld ra u g co he began. “Good your , if you “Honey uld get rid of heavens!” Shrieked o c ” up I brother. nzan, the teacher. “Is he a lm A in all right now?” “He Ar v email y b must be,” said Juan. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.” _kiki, by email

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DEEP SENSE OF HUMOR Pedro had a hard time thinking what to wear for the costume party he’s attending. Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, Pedro stood by the door with no shirt and no socks on. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” asked the host. “A premature ejaculation,” said Pedro. “I just came in my pants!” Butch D., by email www.fhm.com.ph

FEBRUARY 2014

How did Midnight Express come about? I did a guesting for a public-affairs show. They were looking into a possible news segment for Saksi to boost ratings. They were choosing between going for a tried-and-tested host or someone new. Luckily, I was top of mind. Were you concerned about gaining poundage? Eating for me is a good thing. I’m trying to gain weight—mass, muscles. I need to keep on eating, so that’s a good thing—free food! How do you not end up with a barrel in your belly? Well, I’d like to thank Mommy and Daddy for giving me crazy metabolism. I’m 25 years old, I know it won’t last long binging on everything. I do supplement it with workouts. How does the team arrive at a feature dish? All decisions are approved by our program manager. Our researcher does a lot of legwork. Are you involved in any of the behind-the-scenes work of Midnight Express? I shot an episode on my own in London! I was so proud of that. I would look into the editing process, but of course that’s not my job anymore. I trust the skills of my team. How has this project changed your taste buds? In a very big way. Lamang-loob? I never ate that. Now, I can actually say that I somehow look forward to it. I’ve eaten a cricket, I’ve eaten a fat mouse. It has really opened me up. It has helped me appreciate different kinds of cultures since food is such a big part of culture. Have you always been a foodie or are you a picky eater? I’ve always been a foodie! Being a foodie runs in the family. Food is always a point of gathering. Do you know how to cook? Right now, my only specialty—and probably my only recipe, too—is scrambled eggs. I make a mean one, I think. There are so many great chefs out there, which makes it safe for me not to learn cooking. I just want to keep on eating!

01 TELEVISION

MR. GOODGRUB THAT'S M I KAE L DAE Z, TRAVE LI NG AN D SAM PLI NG EXOTIC D I S H E S ON M I D N IG HT EXPR E SS

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (Weeknights on Saksi, GMA-7) Your hankering for a pre-bedtime snack is bound to be whetted by Midnight Express, a five-minute food segment that caps off the late-night news program, Saksi. The show has been embarking on gustatory adventures since it kicked off mid-July last year. It has since featured popular grub as pizza and pad thai to Philippine delicacies such as unday-unday, inutak, adobong dilaw, and KBL (kadyos, baboy, at langka).

20 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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WORDS: ABBY MENDOZA; PHOTOGRAPHY: TOTO LABRADOR FOR MEN’S HEALTH

YO U R LE ISU R E TI M E R AT E D A N D SORTE D

02

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6

The LEGO Movie Director: P h i l Lo rd & Ch ris Mi l l e r Cast: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Morgan Freeman An ordinary LEGO minifigure (Pratt) is recruited by an elite group called the Master Builders to defeat evil tyrant Lord Business (Arnett).

FILM

WORDS: C H IARA C UI; IL LUSTRATIO N S: BO ISEI MA L IC DEM

[B]ROBOCOP THE 1987 CLASSIC GETS A MAKEOVER TO BECOME YOUR NEW FAVORITE MANDROID

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5

ROBOCOP Director: Jose Pa dilha Cast: Joe l K inna ma n, G ary Oldman, Samuel L. J ac kson A remake of the 1987 film, it centers on Alex Murphy: loving husband, good cop, and all-around stand-up guy. After being critically injured, a conglomerate called OmniCorp uses the opportunity to test their robotics research to save Murphy’s life, effectively turning him into a…yep, half-human, half-robot po-po.

Winter’s Tale Director: Ak i va Go l d sm a n Cast: Co l i n Fa rre l l , J e ssi ca B row n Fi n dl ay, Ru sse l Crowe Peter Lake (Farrell) falls in love with Beverly Penn (Findlay) in 1916 only to awaken in present-day Manhattan with no recollection of the life he once knew, only the love he once had.

FUTUR E P E R F E C T

Break the law, get schooled by RoboCop

T h e c rime: Public urination T h e p un ish m en t: RoboCop’s going to put your dong away, then make you clean up the mess. Better pray that your dick can hold up to the Cop's titanium fingers.

STR A N GE R THA N FI CTI ON

MORE PROGRAMS TO SATE THE FEELING THAT YOU AREN’T THE ONLY WEIRDO ON THIS PLANET

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The c r ime : Jaywalking The punishme nt: He’d break your legs so you could never walk again. Don’t worry, OmniCorp will give you new robot legs to make up for it.

OUT OF CONTROL (GMA-7, Saturdays, 4 p.m.) Features real-life cases of people with obsessions, fears, and anxieties. More than raising awareness, the show also extends help to their subjects.

The cri m e: Drug dealing The p uni s hm ent: Peter Weller (the OG RoboCop) did a PSA for the intro of the movie’s VHS. He’ll destroy your stash, go after your crew, and stop your dealing.

PICTURE! PICTURE! (GMA-7, Saturdays, 6 p.m.) A gameshow that uses images as questions participants must answer. Possible take home prize: P500,000.

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The cri m e: Driving under the influence The p uni s hm ent: RoboCop hates chumps. Even worse, he hates intoxicated chumps. Say goodbye to your precious car.

JUAN DIRECTION (TV5, Saturdays, 10 - 10:30 p.m.) A day in the lives of the YouTube-famous halfFilipino, half-British chaps, collectively known as Juan Direction.

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ASTIG (TV5, Fridays, 10:30 p.m.) Discounts luck and instead explains how accuracy and precision, most of all, technique figure in as elements in honing one’s skills at athleticism.

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(20 14)

FILM

JENNIFER LAWRENCE AND AMY ADAMS SWAP SPIT! J U ST ON E OF MANY R EAS ON S YOU S H OU LD S E E D I R E CTOR DAVI D O. R U S S E L’S ’70S CR I M E D RAM E DY

YO U G OT TA STA RT SD i rOector M EDaWvidHOE. Russel RE has come a long way si nce his de but—a black com edy a bout boinking your ow n momma

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

S panking the Mo nke y ( 19 94) The Oedipus Complex infects a young med student when he returns home to care for his injured mother. Giving ma a bath: creepy.

F l i r ti n g w i th Di s a s ter (1996) Before he can name his newborn son, man seeks out his birth parents to discover his true identity. Birth parents turn out to be LSD-popping hippies.

Three Kings ( 1 9 9 9 ) George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, and Ice Cube are Gulf War soldiers who discover some gold. A triumvirate that shouldn’t fly under your cineaste radar.

I H ea r t H u ck a b ees (2 0 0 4 ) Existential detectives try to uncover the dilemma in a man’s existential crisis. What happens when directors take too much psychedelics and read too much Camus.

The Fighter ( 20 10) Mark Wahlberg plays boxer “Irish” Micky Ward. Christian Bale wins an Oscar for portraying his meth-addicted brother, and Amy Adams sizzles as a sultry barmaid.

22 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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Si l v er Li n i n g s P l a y b ook (2 0 1 2 ) J-Law wins Oscar (and the adoration of the planet) as a semi-psychotic ex-slut. World realizes Bradley Cooper can actually act.

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WOR D S: A N TO N D . UM A LI

A MY A D A M S

A M E R I CA N H U ST L E Direct ed by : Dav id O . Russel Wit h: C hrist ian Bale, Jennif er Law rence, A my A dams, and Bradley C o o p e r Aside from the aforementioned lip lock of two of Hollywood’s hottest leading ladies, there’s much to be excited about American Hustle. Con artist couple Irving Rosenfeld and Sydney Prosser (Bale and Adams) pretend to be political advisors in order to scam the mayor of Camden, New Jersey (a notable Jeremy Renner not in Avengers gear). But when pesky FBI Agent Richie DiMaso (Cooper) gets on their tail and asks them to perform a sting operation, things get mighty complicated. Throw Irving’s sexy yet oh-so-dramatic young wife Rosalyn (Lawrence) into the mix, and the hilarity busts through those tight disco dress seams. Big hair, groovy tunes, and even a cameo by Bobby De Niro won’t make you think twice about coughing up some ticket money for this one. O ut : Februar y 5

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-

FF FF FF FF

XIII X | X-2 HD XIV XV

04 GAMES

THE END IS THE BEGINNING IS THE END G A M I N G W I L L N E V E R C E A S E W I T H F I N A L F A N TA S Y If there’s one thing that Square Enix’s series has never lived up to, it’s the “Final” in its name. However, since the original in 1987, it turned from simply waiting for the next numbered installment into a giant franchise filled with spinoffs such as fighting, racing, and even music games. And with possibly up to four Final Fantasy releases this year, it’s only getting bigger…

F A N W IT H FOR THE ELLOW F F A LOT O NDS IE R F N A F

LI G HTN I N G R ET U R N S : F I N A L FAN TASY X I I I

R e l e a se: February 2014 The final part of the Fabula Nova Crystallis trilogy stars pink-haired heroine Lightning in her final battle to save humanity from crazy deities. We’re not sure yet how to feel about its constantly running countdown timer, though—we need more time to ogle all the sexy costumes, Square!

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F I N AL FAN TASY X/ X-2 H D

FA N O S TA LG IC F O R T H E N N TA S Y X -2 ’S FA G O F F IN A L -S W A P P IN C O S T U M E : F IN A L Y G A M E P LA -2 H D X /X FA N TA S Y

Re le ase : M arc h 201 4 Square still won’t give us FFVII HD, but they did re-release FFVIII on PC, and now we’re getting a polished-up port of the PS2 duo. What we like about this is that Square is slowly running out of games to re-release until they are forced to give us FFXII HD.

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N WHO F O R T H E FA F O R IT C A N ’T W A O V E O N OM SQUARE T ELEASES -R E R M O R F ELS AND SEQU

F I NA L FA NTASY X I V: A R E A L M REBORN

R el ea s e: Ap ri l 20 1 4 Also a re-release of sorts, version 2.0 came a long way from the disaster that was the original FFXIV. It’s not a bad choice for your first MMORPG on PS4— and you’ll be able to play cross-platform, i.e. together with PS3 and PC gamers, too!

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F I NA L FA NTASY X V

R el ea s e: T BA Originally hyped all the way back in 2006 as Final Fantasy Versus XIII, many thought it was never going to happen until last year’s surprise announcement and name change. It’s got a neat, dark visual style going on and– despite the characters looking like a boyband— we can’t wait for a “new” Final Fantasy. At last!

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WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

FAN OF F O R T H E Y X -2 ’S S A T N A F F IN A L W A P P IN G -S E M U T S CO Y GAMEPLA

05

T H E LOVE R’S D I C T I O NARY By Da vi d L e vi t ha n Told via dictionary entries. It could have ended up merely cute, but thanks to the vivid non-linear entries, it ends up devastating. We never know the names of our two lovers. We never even get the full picture of their relationship, as each alphabetical entry comes in at a random point in their lives. But at the end, you’ll know them like you know two friends who are trapped in a very unhealthy, very caustic, and very real romance.

BOOKS

TOUGH LOVE

P R E PAR E TO B E J U D G E D I F YOU CU R L U P I N YOU R S EAT WITH A R OMAN CE N OVE L—B UT N OT I F YOU’R E CAU G HT R E A D I N G ON E OF TH E S E…

Pat ama l i ne : “Recant, v. I want to take back at least half of the ‘I love you’s,’ because I didn’t mean them half as much as the other one.”

E L E AN O R & PAR K

MAT I N G

B y R a i n bow Rowell Eleanor is overweight and frumpy; she's an outcast. Park is sexy, good-looking, and half-Korean. It’s the mid ’80s. There’s a bully. There’s an alcoholic stepdad. And there’s the entire world, which will absolutely not allow the possibility of romance between a goodlooking Asian and an overweight redhead who describes herself as looking like a barmaid (cue “Against All Odds”). It’s guaranteed to take you back to a time before you grew up and started reading FHM.

By N o rm a n Rus h This 1992 novel is a masterclass in telling you how not to be a know-it-all asshole in a relationship. Both girl (unnamed anthropologist in Botswana) and boy (still-married, semimessianic developmental theorist Nelson Denoon) are grade-A examples of intellectualizing a relationship to death. It is propelled by the narrator’s snooty academic writing, which is simultaneously whip-smart, detestable, and delicious.

Pat ama line: “She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

Pat ama l i ne : “My utopia is equal love, equal love between people of equal value, although value is an approximation for the word I want. Why is it so difficult?”

S E X C R I M I NAL S #1 By Ma t t Fra c t i o n & C h i p Z d a rs k y What if you found out that you had superpowers—but only for a few seconds after you’ve had an orgasm? And then you hooked up with a partner who also had the same superpower? What would you do? You’d rob banks for a good cause, of course. Forget the spandex, these are the real superheroes you should be reading. A smart take on the escapism of sex, with cartoonish line art from Chip Zdarsky, make Sex Criminals a, ahem, “coming”-of-age comic you need to read.

B y R o b S heffield A memoir written by a Rolling Stone editor set to the tune of mixtapes that real-life Rob made to the love of his life, Renee. He was a shy music geek, she was a rabble-rousing punk, and their love story is packed with music references from Big Star to Yo La Tengo, Pavement to the Velvet Underground. The book’s upfront spoiler: Renee would later die in Rob’s arms. Prepare for manly tears.

Pat ama line: “Everything in my life comes directly from this Maxell XLII crush tape, made on October 10, 1989, for Renee.”

26 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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Pat ama l i ne : Not really a line, but you have to check out the “ET” and the “User Agreement” sex positions—illustrated with aplomb in this book.

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WOR D S: L IO MA N GU BAT

LOVE IS A M IX TAPE: LI FE AN D LOSS, ON E SONG AT A TI M E

MUSIC

DUDE, SWEET

G E T H I G H A S A K ITE WITH TH E SWE ET S O U N D S AN D “G R OOVITATI ONAL” PU L L OF C H OC OLATE G RAS S

FIND T HEM/D O SONGS WNLOAD h t t p :/ / AT : b a n d c ch o c o la t e g r ass. a m p .c om ch o c o la t e - g r / a lb u m / ass-ep

MEET THE BAND

A b s H a w – The Po e tr y ( l y ri cist and v o calist)

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C hiko H er nandez – Tickles Yo’ Senses (percussion)

Allan Malabanan – D own Low (bass guit ar)

N ikki C abardo – T he M agic (k e ybo a rds )

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Luis Gut ierrez – S w eet Beat s (drum s )

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Your sound is smooth and unique. Do you credit this from years of playing together? A bs : We started around March of 2012, actually. The band is just turning two this year. A l l a n: Chiko, Luis, and I were classmates back in college. We figured we needed a good singer. So we got Abs! Aside from chocolates and grass, what’s your formula for producing your music? C hi k o : We just jam while Abs sits in the corner doing her thing—writing songs for the band. A bs : We all listen to different bands, so it’s a compilation of our works and interests. Everybody gives their own input whenever we jam. C hi k o : It’s a collective effort. N i k k i : If there’s a term for how we make music, siguro we can call it primal. Kung ano yung lumabas nung una, yun na yon. We don’t change much. How do you plan to break through the market with your Pinoy neo-soul sound? A bs : Well, it’s not something that we consciously think about. We may be a little different from what people usually hear. But that’s just us doing our thing. N i k k i : I guess yung fun yung edge namin over other bands. Walang seryoso sa amin eh. When we’re onstage, bahala ka na dyan. But of course, we all have one goal: to create good music. C hi k o : We also use different percussion instruments to give our sound a little more flavor, like congas, maracas. L ui s : It’s just fun that we cater to a wide audience: from children to older folks. You also gave yourself band monikers. A l l a n: Ha ha! That’s just something we thought up for our Facebook page. C hi k o : But it still tells something about each one of us. Like “the magic” you hear when Nikki plays the keyboard. What’s a non-negotiable ingredient in your music? L ui s : Oh, definitely grass. A l l a n: I’d go for chocolates.

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WORDS: PONG CASTILLO; PHOTOGRAPHY: PAUL MONDOK

06

C H O CO LATE G RASS Listening to this soul outfit’s extended play online, you can tell the band has all the right ingredients for sweetsounding Jazz and R&Bsounding escapist music—or, as the band proudly calls it, Filipino neo-soul. Lyricist/ vocalist Abs Haw talks about songs in their online EP and upcoming 11-track album: “ Wha t K e e ps Yo u S a ne ” “It’s about being trapped in a city for too long, and all you want to do is break free from all the chaos and find equilibrium in life again.” “ Te s t i f y” “It’s a childhood story in a song. It describes a child’s coping mechanism.” “ Be t t e r Da ys ” “It’s about profound experiences that make you appreciate the little things: the everyday journey you get into, the people you meet and learn from, and how they all correlate to one another.”

PENETRATE HER MIND

LOUNGE SME L L Y MU C H Wha t ’s t h at f r ag r an t t h in g o n y o u r h o n e y ’s s le e v e c a l l e d ? FHM g et s ex t r a n o s y a n d fin d s o u t. . .

Eau de effin’ what? We demystify perfumes for you: Usually liquid (there are also solid perfumes), perfumes are a mixture of perfume oils from sources like flowers, water (or eau in French), and alcohol. The difference lies in the amount of perfume oil.

What it is

How to say it

Sniff... What’s the diff?

Eau de cologne (masculine)

oh duh kuh-lohn

Eau fraîche (feminine)

oh fresh

Both have the lowest perfume-oil concentration (below 5%) and are therefore the most affordable

Eau de toilette (EDT)

oh duh twah-let

Has around 5% to 8% perfume-oil concentration

Eau de parfum (EDP)

oh duh pahr-fuh

Has around 8% to15% perfume-oil concentration

Parfum

pahr-fuh

Has the highest perfume-oil concentration (15%30%) and is therefore the most expensive

30 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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W H AT WA NT Dee P. Nicolas–a product manager from Luxasia, distributor of fragrance and cosmetic brands—says: “Floral is the most popular type of scent with women because of the sweet notes that they directly associate with flowers. However, more women are going for ‘floriental,’ which mixes elements of floral and oriental to add more warmth and sensuality to the perfumes they wear.”

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L O U N G E D AT I N G

Y

AL ENT ORI WO

OD

S

S

Y

Y WOO DS

ATI

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NO

C

CITRUS

TER

OM

WA

AR

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TE

GI

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W

D OO

Y

AL

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F LOWER POWE R

WHEEL Fragrances have families, too: Floral, Oriental, Fresh, and Woody. Check out the Fragrance Wheel formulated by Michael Edwards, a fragrance expert and the author of Fragrances of the World, which is considered to be the fragrance industry’s bible.

WOODS

DR

N

FR NO

Y

MOSS

FRUITY

G

OD

IE

L

TE

SOFT ORIENTAL

L FLO

RA

L

E RE

A

WO

OR

A NT

S

AL

AL

OR

ENT

FLORA

ORI

FL

TH E

L

TE

RAL FT

TA

NO

FLO

SO

EN

IT

NO

ORI

S TE

IN

SA

CH

TI

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NA

Because a single fragrance is a combo of several scents, it’s just like a melody that’s composed of different notes. Now take these down:

TOP NOTES

MIDDLE NOTES

BOTTOM NOTES

Th e f ir s t im p r e s s io n, w hat y o u f ir s t s m e ll wit hin 15 m in u te s a f te r a p p ly ing t he f r a g r a n ce

The heart o f t he frag rance, w hat y o u s mell aft er t he t o p no t es fad e

The b as e (u su al l y w o o d y, musk y, or spi c y), w hat ling ers on th e sk i n t he lon ge st

YO U R V- DAY GIFT GUIDE

Other than you dumping your porn collection in the trash bin, here are some things that will make her happy. To the department store, quick!

WO R D S: MA I KA B E R N A RD O

W H AT ABO UT I E? L I N G E R r own

e e r buy h “Let he ises J M Monro s v d ay a s ” , e e h ri S e es. ling rst, oo! Voic on Yah s to try it on fi her a s e id h she h it s e “how and se nd accentuate a s s.” re flaw tu a fe t her bes

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C H A N E L N O.5 E A U D E TO I L E T TE Marilyn Monroe once said, “What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.”

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DOVE B E A UT Y B A R “With one-fourth moisturizing cream” is probably the first thing that enters your mind. This soap is gentle enough for the face as well.

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C RÈM E D E LA MER A tub of this cream costs a stratospheric $1,900, but there’s actually some rocket science involved: It was invented by aerospace physicist Max Huber, who formulated it originally to soothe his burns caused by a chemical explosion. FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 31

A

J PHOTO GRAPHY: EJAY L E UN G OF MIDNIGHT B O NKE RS

S R E T A DEB MAST

ER

STY L I N G: DE B RA B E RNALE S MAKEUP: JANINA DIZON H A I R: GE O RM IMPE RIAL ILLU STRATIO NS: ANJ JAVIER

?

FINGER FIN R TONGUE OR

Hot-headed columnists decide which tool is more effective in setting your honey on fire

32 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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GE

R

TON

GU

E

L O U N G E M A S T E R D E B AT E R S

FI

N

A B BY Like Jahziel, I honestly love both. But if I were to choose just one, cunnilingus all the way! Not all guys have long and thick fingers. Hence, his finger sometimes just feels like a small dick—pero with nails! Yikes! It’s a disadvantage, lalo na pag hindi experienced si guy.

JAH Z I E L I love both, pero finger-bang ang mas winner for me! Very teenager ang peg pag finger galore, mas nakaka-excite! Pag brocha kasi walang sensation sa akin, kahit one hour pa yan. Unlike pag finger, mas pleasurable para sa akin.

JAH Z I E L Siyempre naman, Abby, dapat tinitingnan mo kasi muna ang nails kung trimmed! In my experience, wala naman akong na-encounter na mahabang nails. And of course, I make my partner wash his hands before working, para siguradong walang dirt and bacteria!

ma-stimulate yung mood. Saka magwe-wet si girl! Kahit bilingual ka pa isa lang ang tongue mo, while one can add more fingers for more intensity, or i-adjust mo to find her pleasure points. Plus, you can kiss your partner while touching her down there. A kiss is always important!

A B BY A B BY But for girls like me who don’t have a G-spot, the tongue does the trick. I'd choose it any time!

Kiss? I like it when my guy eats me! I love getting pleasure from sitting on his face and gyrating my hips quickly. Ang sarap lang. Ha ha!

JAH Z I E L

JAH Z I E L

Fingering a girl is a very basic necessity, hindi mawawala yan. For me yan ang talagang pang-start ng act. Plus, you can do it anywhere you like to get your lady pumped up!

Fingering is something I can learn by myself, hindi ko naman puwedeng brochahin ang sarili ko ’no! So pwede kong ituro sa partner ko later kung ano ang proper way, kung saan ako mas nasistimulate.

A B BY Cunnilingus feels better than fingerbanging because a man’s tongue is a lot softer than his fingers. Also, it’s naturally wet so it glides smoothly over the clitoris. You just can’t go wrong with it. Walang sabit!

A B BY Ganito lang yan: Girls who hate cunnilingus are insecure with the smell of their pussies! Hugas-hugas din kasi pag may time! Also, avoid smoking and drinking because it can really affect your vagina’s odor. Have a healthy diet and good hygiene para hindi ma-conscious! Happy Valentine’s Day!

JAH Z I E L Wala ring sabit ang fingers if the guy starts slow. Of course mas sexy pag mas mabagal para mas

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 33

,

LADIES CONFESSIONS

A serving of nasty tales to inspire you on your V-day romp

Always here to listen, ladies! Keep sending your escapades to fhmladiesconfessions @gmail.com

N O SY N E I G H B O R S Two years ago, my exboyfriend invited me over to his place for lunch. Since we had just started dating, I went over without hesitation. We were both really adventurous and naughty, so while waiting for lunch to cook, we locked his bedroom door and decided to do it there. He lived in the common Pinoy neighborhood where houses were built close to one another, and we didn’t know that his bedroom walls were not sound-proof! We had wild and loud sex, and his neighbors and relatives heard every grunting and moaning we did. Much to our embarrassment, his mother called from work just to scold him after news about the whole thing got to her. Now whenever I visit their family house, I get weird looks from his relatives. I know why his parents don’t like me. Kamila, by email CORDIAL COUSIN When my cousin announced four months ago that she was getting married, we were thrilled to plan her bachelorette party. My cousin and I share a special kind of relationship, and had our own share of naughty cousin adventures, which we don’t regret doing at all. She told me that she wanted

‘We had wild and loud sex, and his neighbors and relatives heard every grunting and moaning we did’ 34 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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LOUNGE CONFESSIONS

MO DEL : AGAT A DR YWA; PH OT OGR APH Y: J AN GO NZALE S; SH O T WITH F U JIF ILM XE- 1; S TY L I N G : E L OI S E D A N I OT; LIN GER IE : E TAM; LO CAT IO N: T HE H E NR Y HO TE L (C EB U ) MODE L APP E AR S FO R IL L USTRA TI ON P UR P OS E S ON L Y

N AB I N YAG A N I moved into a new apartment away from the city, and I actually love the nice view from my window, which is quite far from the main road. I also don’t have to worry about sketchy neighbors because I have the place to myself. One weekend, while waiting for my boyfriend, I decided to shower, assuming we were going to do the deed. My boyfriend likes that I get naked whenever he visits. He gets turned on. I was watching TV when I heard someone turn the doorknob. Assuming it was my boyfriend, I stood in front of the door and was surprised to see two strangers. I immediately slammed the door shut and heard the two laughing outside. They said they were looking for Robert, the old occupant of the apartment. They left right after I told them that Robert didn’t live there anymore, and that it’s already my place. I was flushing in embarrassment when I heard another knock. It was my boyfriend. He laughed over my story, but still ended up banging me hard. He dared me to do it right across my hallway, and I agreed after thinking that nothing could top off the incident with the strangers. My boyfriend made me lean against the wall, and fucked me from behind. Just before he came, he sat me on the stairs and came on my neck and boobs. It was a funny first time in my new apartment. Simple_fantasy via FHM.com.ph www.fhm.com.ph

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something really kinky and fun for her bachelorette party, and wouldn’t mind to do it with me. I agreed to it, but on one condition: there should be one male involved. She seemed thrilled by the idea, so we hooked up with a cute barista in one of our favorite coffee shops. Our threesome started in a movie house. While my cousin gave him head, the barista was finger-fucking me. We were all bitin after the movie, so we decided to check in the nearest motel. The barista was fucking the two of us like he was on some energy drink. My cousin fell asleep after a few rounds, and I decided to rest, too. We were all naked in one bed, the sheets stained all over. After taking a break in the bathroom, the barista laid me on the floor and started pumping me again. When my cousin woke up, she was disappointed not to be joining in on the fun. So I finger-banged my cousin while she was being groped by our reliable barista-friend. It was an instant orgy for the then-bride-to-be. The barista got tired after many rounds of switching between my cousin and I. Now my cousin’s husband has no idea what kind of adventure he has to top off. Jackie069, via FHM.com.ph M O V I N G C O N UN D R UM S Last month, my husband and I moved into a two-bedroom apartment with our son and nanny. Since we hadn’t fixed the other room yet, we decided that everyone should sleep in the master’s bedroom until the other one was child-proofed. One night, I was awakened by my hubby’s hard member on my butt while his hands caressed my nipples. I was turned on and I couldn’t resist him so I let him do all the moves while I was facing our kid and nanny, who were both asleep. He then pulled down my pajamas and panties and spooned me all the way until we both climaxed. I wanted to make some noise but the idea of waking up our nanny and kiddo was not good. So he told me that he’d soon be fixing the other room or we could also try to go check in a motel some time where we could make all the moaning and noises we want! I’m excited! Hottiemommy, by email FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 35

KEEP PHOEM AND

STAY OBSESSED IN WHATEVER GUISE PHOEMELA BARANDA CHOOSES TO REEL YOU IN—AS MODEL, HOST, OR ACTRESS—TRUST THAT SHE’LL DO SO USING ALL HER POWERS TO ENCHANT PHOTOGRAPHY: DOC MARLON PECJO INTERVIEW: ASH MAHINAY STYLING: CHARMAINE PALERMO MAKEUP: JIGS MAYUGA USING MAC COSMETICS ASSISTED BY JUSTINE NAVATO HAIR: CHRIS RODIL OF L’OREAL PROFESSIONNELL SPECIAL THANKS TO: MS. VERONIQUE DEL ROSARIO-CORPUS, MHIT PIMENTEL OF VIVA ARTIST AGENCY INC.

PHOEM BARANDA

In FHM’s pursuit of the perfect babe cover, right timing is key. We can simplify this into three stages—with Phoemela Baranda in all of them. We can strike early, featuring the hottest young thing before anyone else does. Witness Phoemela Baranda–established model and budding TV host–in 2004. A lot of people saw Phoem as turning a new leaf, staging a sexy comingout party. We honestly doubt Phoem needed our help in establishing her sex appeal, but we’ll take the credit while we can. Cover opportunity No. 2: Nabbing our covers as they approach the peak of their powers. Enter Phoemela Baranda–supermodel and TV mainstay–in 2006. Millions of TV Patrol male viewers were probably waiting for the day’s gossip not for the gossip (if they did, Phoem would would still have done her job anyway). You couldn’t get more top of mind than that. Finally, we embrace them at the pinnacle of their success. Now this can be tricky—by then things have become complicated in a myriad of endorsement restrictions, TV codes of ethics, jealous boyfriends/ husbands, and generally a whole lot of do-not-touch. Welcome Phoemela Baranda—now simply the Phoemela Baranda—this 2014. Now tell us that she doesn’t look mighty fine for the third time. By now she can very well brush us off if she wanted to, having established a strong foothold in the business. But she graciously let us in again. If we’ve learned anything after working with her again— aside from the fact that a decade doesn’t even cause a dent in supermodels—it’s that saving the best for last always works like a treat.

PHOEM BARANDA Welcome back to FHM! Thank you! Wasn’t that just like a year ago? Ha ha! We have to say that you look great. What is it with supermodels that you seemingly don’t age? I think I just try to reinvent myself. Right now, I’m here as a model, as a TV presenter, and a personality. And of course, konting diet—you have to take care of yourself. Then if I have time, work out! But I think the key is to reinvent yourself and how you reinvent yourself. Your most visible reinvention is your hosting career of course. Why did you follow that path over acting or, say, singing? Oh my God, it’s so much easier and more fun, ha ha! The hours of hosting an event are nothing compared to the taping hours of doing a teleserye. [A teleserye] takes, like, the whole day—24 hours! But now I’m actually trying to act—recently I was part of Maria Mercedes and I think I’m actually enjoying acting now. I’ve already done the TV news for like six or seven years, that and my showbiz talk shows. What was it like dabbling in acting once again? Right now, we just finished Maria Mercedes on ABSCBN. I played the mentor of Maria Mercedes—which is not so far from my real personality so it wasn’t that hard. But, if people don’t know, we had to be at the location 7 a.m. and finish at maybe 4 a.m. It’s totally different. With hosting, there’s the feeling of doing it live, the adrenaline rush, and the energy–live hosting or TV is a totally different energy. The outcome naman of the teleserye, or doing a movie, or acting is also very different. But of course hosting is still my forte now. I’ve been doing it for how many years but I’m still trying to be better at it. It’s a work in progress, you never really become super good at anything; you always have to improve.

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PHOEM BARANDA Did the fact that you were already a veteran model give you a good base to start from? Yes. Modeling is still my first love and my passion, and it will never go away– modeling and anything in relation to fashion, I love dressing up, I love posing– maybe I can say it’s kind of innate, ha ha! Like, even when I’m just standing still, parang naka-pose pa rin ako. It also really helped me a lot to have a premium in the showbiz world. When I entered hosting, I started with a reality show on that was on Channel 7. Maybe it added to my premium that I was already a household name at that time, but of course it was totally different and I really had to learn how to host and annotate what was happening because it was a reality show. I had to do a lot of weird things and adventurous stuff. I learned a lot from it. It was very good training for me. Other models have more low-key sidelines such as opening a small restaurant or designing clothing for example, but your endeavors have all kept you in the spotlight– and possibly in front of more eyes than when you were actually modeling. Is being in the public’s view something that you thrive off?

44 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

As long as people want me, I would grab that opportunity. But of course, right now, I’m also thinking of doing other things behind the camera. I’m very lucky that I’m still so busy right now–and I’m just maximizing the opportunity. But given the chance? I would love to have my own modeling agency, have my own makeup line–I think I still have time to do that, ha ha! You obviously still have the goods, so no rush? No rush! Parang sayang naman, they still like me naman, ha ha! But I think it’s something that I would like to start now. I’m considering it–I’m not saying that I’m going to be in front of the camera forever. I have to think of something else to do, and I think my own business is one of my goals. Do you have a “spirit animal” or inspiration for longevity? I love, love the queen—Kate Moss. She just turned 40 and she’s still getting on the cover of magazines! I really admire her being a mom also–and still being that cool and still being the queen of fashion. If you see all her covers, you can see the difference–from Calvin Klein [in the ’90s] to whatever she’s projecting now. I want to be like that. I’ve mean, I did my first FHM cover in 2004, which was 10 years ago, and if you compare my photos then and my photos now– they’re different. You can’t be stuck in that waif look

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forever of course, you have to transform and improve, and…grow up, ha ha! Okay that’s just another term for becoming “mature,” ha ha! You also need to do something new, which is another term we use to say “more daring”! Of course, if it’s Doc Marlon [Pecjo] it’s always something new; it’s something new on the plate. Hello, I’ve known Doc for like two years…plus zero, ha ha! Two decades! So I’m really, really comfortable doing new poses, new layout, and doing more daring shots. I hope it suits my image now. Bahala na siya, ha ha! I trust him. Do you think it will shock people? I think it’s going to shock people but in a good way, ha ha! I never expected that I would still do these poses at this point. But when I saw the photos I had no regrets. Kaya pa naman, ha ha! The photos turned out well; they’re exactly what I wanted at this point and Doc gave me the confidence that I can still go far when it comes to sexy and daring poses. Mature and daring, you also jokingly referred to yourself as a MILF during shooting. Are you up to owning that tag now? Oo, ha ha! Well, now I always think what my daughter or her friends would say, or even what her school would think. But I thought, “Sige na nga,

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kunin ko na yung title na yun,” ha ha! Actually, I have no regrets, because everything was done tastefully. Sana yung online photos pang-print din. I’m so excited! We even shot two different sets. This is my first time to shoot two whole sets–one for online and one for the magazine. You were acting insecure about your body in between takes, but we didn’t believe you because of how you just turned it on and blew us away whenever it was time to shoot. It’s really the people I work with. The group is very important, it’s important that I have a team that I trust. And of course, it’s FHM naman, it’s my third time and I hope people will still love it, not like but love! Would you say this cover is a response to all the controversy that surrounded you last year? For us, it’s all in the past. I don’t think of anything when I see the people involved in that issue anymore—we really forgot about that already. It’s behind us, and, my gosh, it’s already 2014. It’s Valentine’s Day, give love, ha ha! Since you brought it up, do you have a Valentine? Yes. It’s there in the gift I’m holding [in the photos], ha ha! Of course, we meant if you have a date! Ha ha! Find out na lang online.

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Okay, we’re assuming you have a date. Does a supermodel have to be taken out on a yacht or something? Me? No, just the usual dine out. I love to eat; I’d eat like a full steak or something. Drink some wine, then maybe something else after, ha ha! And what exactly do you mean by “something else”? Ha ha! Bahala na yung guy—it’s up to him, right? For me during Valentine’s it’s the guy who has to prepare the surprise for the girl. As a girlfriend, I would give surprise birthday parties or whatever. But for Valentines, I like to be the one surprised.

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You must have been very spoiled by surprises by now? No, actually I’m very mababaw lang. Just a simple dinner and flowers, that’s it. That would make my day. Also, now that you are admittedly a MILF, do you feel like there’s no way you can lose this February? Because I have a bigger demographic? Ha ha! Actually, I think a woman is sexier when she’s more mature and more confident about herself. It’s the confidence. Some guys might like it, some might not, but as for myself, I’m more confident about how I look and how I feel. It

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PHOEM BARANDA

comes with maturity; I’m wiser, sexier, ha ha! I’m just confident in my own skin right now–before, during shoots, I was like [speaks in a meek voice] “Okay, yes, what are we going to do?” Guys find confidence sexy in older women. Of course, FHM helped you get to your super sexy confidence level right? Yes, of course! My FHM shoot, the first one, was very unforgettable because it was in Boracay. It

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was not the usual cover, and it really boosted my confidence—it was also my first sexy shoot. Then the second shoot was all underwear and since I was side by side with other celebrities, the pressure was there. Of course those experiences really boost you and make you confident. And now you’re good to go solo! Yes, oh my, ha ha! Pa-print na ng both cover options please! FHM

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PHOEM BARANDA

‘I DID MY FIRST FHM COVER IN 2004, WHICH WAS 10 YEARS AGO, AND IF YOU COMPARE MY PHOTOS THEN AND MY PHOTOS NOW– THEY’RE DIFFERENT. YOU HAVE TO TRANSFORM AND IMPROVE, AND… GROW UP, HA HA!’

48 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 49

PHOEM BARANDA

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PHOEM BARANDA

‘I LOVE TO EAT; I’D EAT A FULL STEAK OR SOMETHING. DRINK SOME WINE, THEN MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE AFTER, HA HA!’

PHOEM BARANDA

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PHOEM BARANDA

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MOTORCYC MOVE OVER FOR THE NEW KING OF THE ROAD

FIRST, THE PRESSING QUESTION: WHY AREN’T WE MOVING ON FOUR WHEELS? LET’S BEGIN WITH THE OBVIOUS:

HOW MANY WARM BODIES ARE THERE TRYING TO LIVE AND WEAVE THEIR WAY

THROUGH THE CITY? (IN THIS CASE METRO MANILA— BY NOW IT SHOULD MAKE SENSE TO EVERYONE THAT THERE SHOULD BE MORE MANILAS DOTTING THE ENTIRE COUNTRY, S O Y O U W O R K W H E R E Y O U L I V E )

11,855,975 OF THE NATIONAL 13% POPULATION THAT IS ROUGHLY

MO TO R C YC LE

SC O O TER

UND ERBON E

AND THERE ARE CURRENTLY

100,000,000

OF US CRAMMING THE PHILIPPINES, WHICH ONLY EXISTS AS A DOT IN THE UNITED NATIONS OFFICIAL SEAL

LE NATION W O R D S :

ARE WE POOR?

28% 450,000

OF US LIVING IN

MANILA

KILOMETERS

A YEAR

IT CLOGS WITH

DIRT POOR

P50/DAY

E DSA

TIME AND GASOLINE

FROM END TO END

SAY YES, WE’RE BECAUSE WE CAN BARELY SCRAPE

NO, WE CAN’T.

23.8

BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY

M A H I N A Y

NOW LOOK AT

DESPICABLE

OF ALL OF US IN THIS

A S H

2.3 MILLION BUT MOST EVERYONE ELSE SEEM TO BE

ALL THIS WASTED AND MORE COSTS US

P140 BILLION AND THE HOODLUMS IN PUBLIC SERVICE HAVEN’T EVEN BEGUN TO STEAL YET

MOVING UP AND ALONG FAST. THE LAND TRANSPORTATION OFFICE COUNTS

4,158,300

Q. WHY AREN’T

WE MOVING ON

CAR OWNERS

FOUR WHEELS?

OR

MORE THAN

1/3

OF THE

POPULATION OR

OF METRO

MANILA

60 CARS F I L L I N G

U P

69,305

BASKETBALL COURTS

OR

61,542,840 SQ.M

IF YOU PUT TWO CARS TOGETHER AND CONVERT THEIR FOOTPRINTS INTO USABLE FLOOR AREA, WHICH WOULD BE EQUIVALENT TO OR

3,077,142

ONE-BEDROOM CONDOMINIUM UNITS OR

313,994 BUNK HOUSES IN LEYTE

GOING THROUGH

EVERY DAY

IT TAKES

90 +

MINUTES TO GET FROM QUEZON CITY TO MAKATI IN THE MORNING

A. BECAUSE AS

WE’VE SHOWN,

IT’S BOGGING

US DOWN THAT IS WHY

RUSH HOUR WE CAN LIVE WITH THAT, YOU

SAY? YOU CAN *CHECK IN ON FACEBOOK *EAT TO-GO BREAKFAST *FIX YOUR TIE *PHILOSOPHIZE ABOUT THE WORLD *PICK YOUR NOSE

TWO WHEELS:

GOOD!

THE REALITY

IS IT’S ALL

ABOUT THE

DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A SCOOTER, A

MOTORCYCLE, AND AN UNDERBONE?

HUMBLE &

? DOES YOUR MOTORCYCLE HAVE A STEP THROUGH DESIGN? DOES IT HAVE A FOOT BOARD?

2,243,400

MOTORCYCLES REGISTERED THAT IS PRACTICALLY HALF OF THE CAR POPULATION IN THE COUNTRY.

AND WHILE OUR MOTORCLYCLE

DREAMS MAY CONSIST OF

RIDING A HARLEY

ACROSS AN OPEN HIGHWAY

SCOOTER MODEL: SUZUKI

RAIDER J 115

SPECS: 113CC

ENGINE, 48IN WHEELBASE

YES I LOVE SWINGING MY LEGS THROUGH THAT GAP

NO THERE’S A PESKY FUEL TANK AND FRAME IN THE WAY

YES I LOVE SWINGING MY LEGS THROUGH THAT GAP

NO

NO

YES

BIGGER ENGINES MORE ECONOMICAL DUE TO HAVING MANUAL

OR SEMI-AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSIONS

LESS BULKY

BIGGER STORAGE SPACE

EASIER TO DRIVE WITH THEIR AUTOMATIC

TRANSMISSIONS BETTER PROTECTION FROM GETTING WET

PRICE: P 62,900!

ENCLOSED DRIVE SYSTEM

PRETTY IMPRESSIVE CONSIDERING IT’S ONLY BEEN MORE THAN A DECADE SINCE RIDING ON TWO WHEELS BECAME HOT POP CULTURE

GETTING YOUR PANTS

NO PHOBIA OF CAUGHT IN THE CHAIN HERE

HOW TO SCORE A BIKE DOWNPAYMENTS GO AS LOW AS P4,000 AND PAYMENT SCHEMES, P2,000 OR SO A MONTH. JUST BRING THESE WITH YOU

A LITERAL FISTFUL OF CASH

2 VALID IDS

MODEL: HARLEY-DAVIDSON ROAD KING SPECS: 1687CC ENGINE, 65IN WHEELBASE

PRICE: P1 MILLION+!

A MONTH’S PAYSLIP

THE EVEN CHEAPER OPTION:

A “REPO” OR REPOSSESSED BIKE

“UNDERBONE” COMES FROM ITS STRUCTURE THAT

CONSISTS OF

ONE SOLID TUBE/ BONE TRAVELLING BENEATH THE RIDER

62 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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M O T O R C Y C L E

N A T I O N

CONSTANT RED ALERT:

RIDE WITH

A GANG THE BEST RIOT

RIDE SAFE

IS TO GET IT ON WITH THE BOYS

THE MANDATORY HELMET ACT WAS SIGNED INTO LAW 2010 JOIN A RIDER’S BEFORE THE HELMET ACT

AFTER THE HELMET ACT

CLUB 2,475 2,374 MANY CLUBS ORGANIZE BY MANUFACTURER, MODEL, OR GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION (FROM BATAAN TO QATAR!)–BUT THAT’S JUST FOR STARTERS. DON’T THINK YOU CAN FIT IN NICHE GROUPS SUCH AS FEDERATION OF LESBIANS AND GAYS RIDERS’ CLUBS (F.L.A.G.)? START YOUR OWN DAMN CLUB.

LEGIT

RACES

ENERGY INDEPENDENCE

YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY, BUT IF YOU’RE PINCHING PENNIES, HOW MUCH EXACTLY ARE YOU SAVING?

ROUTE: NORTH AVE TO TAFT ON EDSA:

RUSH HOUR EDITION DISTANCE: 17KM GAS: P52/LITER THE SPEND: 1.3L CAR AT 10KM/L:

P88/PESOS PER KM: 5 100CC BIKE AT 50KM/L: P17/PPK: 1 BUS FARE: P30 (SITTING OPTIONAL)/PPK: 1.76

MRT FARE: P15 + YOUR PERSONAL

SPACE/PPK: .88 www.fhm.com.ph

8TH INSIDERACING GRAND PRIX – NOVEMBER 21-23

SCOOTER RACING CHAMPIONSHIP AND UNDERBONE KING CHAMPIONSHIPS – MARCH/APRIL

MOTORCYCLE-

MOTORCYCLE-

RELATED ACCIDENTS

RELATED ACCIDENTS

6.98% 3.40% NUMBER OF RIDERS

NUMBER OF RIDERS

WHO HAD HELMETS ON

WHO HAD HELMETS ON

99.2% 99.7% MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL ALIVE

MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL ALIVE

MOD THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR BIKE MANY BIKES DON’T STAY STOCK FOR LONG,

AND MOST MODS YOU’D WANT TO DO ON A CAR APPLY TO THEM AS WELL–JUST REALLY CHEAPER!

EXHAUST P1,500+ AFTERMARKET SEAT P1,000+

TIRES P2,000+ PAINTJOB P6,000

ENGINE BORE KIT P5,000+

SOUND SET UP! P2,500+

TRACK ACTION! MANUFACTURERSPECIFIC EVENTS LIKE THE SUZUKI RAIDER BREED WARS AND YAMAHA GRAND PRIX

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 63

AS TOLD TO: M A R I E T I A N G C O PHOTOGRAPHY: J P D E S M E D T PHOTOS COURTESY OF GETTY IMAGES MODEL APPEARS FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY

LIKE A BOSS

Like most men, cute chinitas always make me do a double t ake. I go for prett y young things and I had girlfriends who were my age or younger. I’m 27 years old. Until I met this lady who’s 12 years my senior. Let’s call her C B. CB was one of the higherups; I was a mere admin guy but that didn’t hinder us from getting to know each other. We would regularly go out for drinks sessions with our other officemates. As the night went on, we would find ourselves exclusively chatting while the others wasted away. Our kwentuhan continued through text and Skype messages, sa yosihan area, at kung saan magkaabutan. I found a confidante in her, I was happy. She would also open up to me about her past, her present, and most particularly her feelings of discontent with her husband. I guess that played a big part in us getting involved. What I lacked in the height department, I made up for by trying to always look suave and polished. I think I look good and I admit that I feel it too much sometimes. My lady, on the other hand, was always effortlessly beautiful despite her age and her having kids. She was sultry, and she had this way of carrying herself that announced it to everyone.

SNARED On one occasion, our regular group had a little more than the usual round of drinks with Truth or Dare. When it was CB’s turn, she chose Truth. The Question: Was her sex life satisfying? Her answer determined the next chain of events. It was a resounding no. Everyone’s jaws dropped in wonder. Probably to evade further prodding, she quickly spun the bottle for the next question. When my chance came, I bluntly asked her about it. I was actually thinking “pati ba naman sa kama?” She said that it was because most of

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the time her husband was not at home because of work, which involved the night shift. When he was home, the husband was almost always too tired and slept all day. I felt so sorry for her and wanted to hug her then and there. She looked at me with sad but wanting eyes and I knew that she didn’t want to be lonely that night. It was crazy. As the night wore on we both took our very discreet French leaves. She left first and then I followed suit. We took care of each other’s needs at a nearby motel. The memory is etched in my mind.

N OTH I N G B E AT S THE FIRST TIME She was literally the most delicious woman I had ever made love to: creamy thighs, nourishing bosom, skin that seemed to glow in the dark— man, it was an unbelievable sight. I was not a virgin but doing it with her the first time made me feel like I was a neophyte. That was why I let her do whatever she wanted with my body; she let me come inside her as though she really was parched earth that badly needed rain. I swear. Not to disappoint, I made a very quick recollection of tried-and-tested moves and performed—all the while trembling with desire. Her moans of pleasure got me more excited; she tasted bittersweet and intoxicating like wine. When she came, she whimpered like a young girl—I thought it was cute. We did it thrice and she showed not the slightest sign of exhaustion. In the afterglow, she told me that she felt years younger. I woke up the following morning from a terrible

dream. We were still doing the deed in the same room when the door flew open and a man with a gun appeared. He fired a shot at us. I was so terrified that I quickly upped and left the motel, leaving her alone.

GOING SOMEWHERE It has been four years since that fateful night and we are still together. We’re still officemates, and we still have the same circle of friends, which makes it easy for us to squeeze in quality sexy time even during the middle of a busy week. Occasions like office parties, summer outings, birthdays, and even overtime work do it for us. My parents never reprimand me for frequently coming home very late from work, they support my being “career-driven.” CB has yayas to take care of her children and with her absentee husband, she never really has to make up stories. She actually spends more time with me than with her husband and kids. Some people at the office

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wonder about our closeness, and then there are those who know about us. Most just shake off the thought because they find it unlikely that somebody as hot as her would go after me. Those who are in on the secret understand when I have this obvious grin plastered on my face despite a seemingly sleepless night.

TH E H U NT TH AT NEVER WAS No matter how much CB assures me that her husband knows nothing about us, the terror of that dream has never left me. How we are able to pull it off without him knowing (or doubting) still blows my mind. I know we’ve been doing all safety measures imaginable but here’s the inside skinny: In the job he’s in, he is perfectly capable of finding us out. CB once told me that her husband once asked who I was after seeing a photograph with me and her in it. You know how a man would say that meeting his girlfriend’s father for the first time scares him? That’s

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c o u g a r s nothing. If CB’s husband meets me and finds out, it could mean losing our jobs, our families, and perhaps our lives—that’s the worst nightmare I can think of right now.

FURTHER INTO THE DEN What I love about our “relationship” is that it’s not always about sex. We don’t just share the bed but also our deepest (and even shallowest) thoughts and dreams. She has a beautiful mind and she understands me like a best friend. Being a boss herself, she gives me advice on how to handle certain things and people at work. She supported me when I applied for a managerial position and drank with me all night when I didn’t get the job. How else can I get a steady stream of emotional support from a younger woman? I’m definitely not looking for a mother figure. I’d like to think that my own mother (and father) showered me with attention when I was growing up. I’d also like to think that I am able to give her comfort when she needs it and satisfaction in all levels— emotionally, physically, and sexually. I know that she needs me because she tells me and I feel that I inspire her to live one day at a time. You see, this is not an ordinary affair between a cougar and a young man— there’s no money involved. I try checking out other girls (younger ones) once in a while but I always end up realizing that nobody compares to her. I know that it’s so wrong but I’m proud of myself because somebody this beautiful cares for me, and I am proud of us and what we have. I am closing this by saying that, yes, I have fallen for her. But she always tells me that I am too young and there have been no talks of separation despite her growing dissatisfaction with her husband. And they have kids. It’s all complicated and fragile. Selfish as it may sound, I can never imagine my future without her regardless of what could happen. I don’t know how long this affair of ours will last and where it’s going.

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FOXY IS THE WORD

‘I love them. They smell good and take care of themselves better’ Funny how they say that cougars are the ones always on the prowl for younger men when there’s a man like me who would pay a for tune just to spend a night with this rare species. I was 25 when I had my first cougar experience. She was a 40-year-old banker who also owned a restaurant. Foxy and intelligent is how I would describe her—imagine Charito Solis in her prime, wearing glasses and smoking with authority. I didn’t really ask her why she was single. I just thought that maybe men got scared of her strong personality and how rich she was. I sold her a car and invited her to test drive it to Tagaytay one night. We spent the whole evening getting to know each other. She made the first move, or she must have caught me staring at her—I really can’t remember. She told me that she was impressed by my credentials. I had recently dropped out of med school to pursue another course. We only made out that night. It was a full three months of courtship before the tryst. It wasn’t supposed to happen but I guess the sexual deities were on my side that day. Her driver somehow managed to mess up her instructions to pick her up and she ended up being stranded somewhere in the South. She was supposed to play golf with a friend who was also not able to come. Since I was working near the area, she called me. She waited for my shift to end. When we got to the Alabang area it suddenly rained hard. We decided to check in at a nearby hotel resort. All I could remember was that I was pissed at first because she slept and we shared a single king-size bed. I let her sleep and went down to smoke in the lobby. While I was out, she asked

for room service. I got back to the room and found her still sleeping. Being a boy scout, I bought: boxers, briefs, shorts, and extra shirts. I decided to shower and noticed that she had already taken a shower. Bad trip na naman. After the shower, I couldn’t find my boxers so I wore my shorts and ate the room- service food. I didn’t expect to get laid; maybe only third base or something, and she said that she was already tired. While I was eating on the couch, she stood up and I noticed that she was wearing my boxers. My young heart started beating fast in fear and anticipation. Then she

got back in bed and told me to warm her up—that was all I needed to hear. I massaged her from head to foot while watching the inhouse movie. We started kissing. Then we made love. I mean lots of touching and caressing. I guess it was emotional; there was more kissing than sex. She taught me how to spoon, which is now my trademark. It would be the first and last time we made love. It was crazy, and at the same time good, while it lasted. She eventually broke off with me because she knew I had to leave for the States to start school and that I was young and I had so many dreams. She was a good woman and we remain friends up to this day. I am even godfather to her kid. She had quite an impact on my current preference for women but I never met a cougar again, not until my “sources” found me a niche in the escort service industry. Let’s just say that I’m 37 now, and I’m one of the privileged few who can afford such luxuries on a regular basis.

TH E A N ATO MY O F A C O U G A R How to spot one when you see one

H A I R . S e d u c ti o n s t a r ts w i th th e h a i r ; c o u g ars lo ve s p o r ti n g th e s e x y s i d e - s w e p t h a i r o r s o ft cu rls an d th e l a te s t s h a d e s o f h a i r c o l o r. FAC E . Co u g a r s a re a l m o s t a l w a y s s p o tte d with th e y o u th fu l m a k e u p l o o k : tr a n s l u c e n t s k i n , fu ll e y e l a s h e s , s m o l d e r i n g e y e s , n u d e l i p c o l o r, an d p e r fe c te d ch e e k b o n e s . B O DY. S t a r ti n g a t th e to p : s h o u l d e r s th a t co n n e ct to s tro n g a r m s to b e tte r p i n a c u b d o w n ; a h e avin g ch e s t ( ti p : i f y o u s e e th e m b o u n c e , s h e mu st b e re a d y to p o u n c e ) ; a c u r v e th a t c o u n ts m u s t b e th e b i r th i n g h i p s ; s h a p e l y l e g s i n k i l l e r h e e l s . N A I L S . Lo n g a n d fi e rc e - c o l o re d c l a w s re ad y to s c r a tch y o u r b a ck WAR D R O B E. D e p e n d s o n th e ty p e o f c o ug ar: h o t, v o l a ti l e m e s s e s ( th i n k R o s e M c G o w a n o r D e mi M o o re ) o r s o p h i s ti c a te d c a ts ( J e n n i fe r A nisto n , yo u r h o t l a d y b o s s o r h e y, M r s . R o b i n s o n ) AC C E S S O R I E S . Wh o b e tte r l o v e th e m d e sig n e r b a g s a n d tr i n k e ts th a n th e s e a c c o m p l i s h ed lad ie s?

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c o u g a r s POUNCED AND CORNERED At the beginning of the year, a source found me a match. She was an ’80s actress in her 50s. No longer active in showbiz, she ran a small business. Why she agreed to hook up with me? Her exact words: “Natuwa akong may batang lalaki na may gusto pa sa akin.” You see, my sources have

fantastic connections in the entertainment industry. I was really hot and horny for her. I actually remember that she appeared in popular ’80s ST films and some bold flicks when I was a kid, but never in those pene films. She was active in showbiz until the ’90s. Foxy is the word; voluptuous a la Vivian Velez but in her mid-fifties. The

tryst was arranged in a hotel. My experience with this actress was awesome. The letdown was that she had fake boobs, but she still smelled good, was clean, and the libido was way up there. She was porn-star wild. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. I’ve been dying to get her again ever since but our schedules couldn’t meet. We constantly keep in touch. The

HOW TO BE A POTENTIAL CUB F R E Q U E NT CO U GAR S P OTS. Cougars almost always want to feel youthful that is why they like to hangout where young people do-bars, clubs, and even your average coffee shop. Allen, a 26-year old IT specialist, met his 3 5year old girlfriend in a jazz bar in Mak ati. MAI NTAI N A F R E S H-FAC E D LO O K. Not exactly too b oyish though; she may end up looking like your mom, adds Roy, 3 1. Cougars are possibly tired of burly and hairy old men, that is why you need to b oy up, not man up, in the looks department. B E I NT E R E ST E D. They love it when younger men also appreciate mature stuff like, say, ’70s or ’8 0s music. Sherwin, 25, finds his hobby of collecting old vinyl records appealing to this 3 5-year-old woman he once dated.

last time I saw her was when we bumped into each other in a casino.

UNMASKED I stand 5’9”, am chinito, and a bit chubby—my looks have not been a problem getting women to undress. I have a nine-year-old daughter but I am not married. She is the center of my life, but she can get very jealous so most of my gimmicks are below the radar. When my daughter is old enough to understand that her papa needs a wife, I would like to finally settle down and put this double life behind because I understand that it’s hard to grow old alone. A cougar would make a great wife. That is why I’m always on the prowl. FHM

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N E M P O T

, R A E Y IS OF...) H T H S T A R L O P S S , G A ! (WELL N I K A M R THEM E R A ES RTY FO D U D T H E S EH R O W A P A T SO WE DIO T STU A C T A OR F A INO F G AIT E P R . BISTA X C : RIA E Y L H A A BA P D : A S A R N W G A E O VI E R PHOT INTER GENI IGN: PROD

UCTIO

S N DE

STAR

N E R R TE

O E M CE RO

ROOK

IE

WHO HE IS: Globalport Batang Pier’s versatile point guard/shooting guard, coming from a 2013 UAAP MVP award. Was UAAP’s Rookie of the Year in 2010 WHY HE’S HERE: With his all-around shooting skills, in the mold of other high-scoring PBA greats, he’s set to become PBA’s Rookie of the Year for 2014 FOLLOW HIM: @tbvromeo

Was the sudden shift from collegiate to professional league tough for you? I’m still adjusting. Sobrang laki ng difference in terms of physicality at diskarte sa loob ng court. Lahat ng players sa PBA magagaling, matatalino maglaro, at ang lalakas ng katawan. I give it my best shot every chance I get inside the court. What areas in particular are you trying to improve on the most? Physically, I do more weight training. I ready my mindset—one

week before the game, inaaral ko na yung galaw ng makakalaban ko. Focused ako lagi sa game. Inside the court, I try to take more of the good shots and less of the bad. Kailangan ko ng more maturity inside the court. Kailangang maiintindihan ko kung kailan gagamitin yung aggressiveness and when to slow down. Is it true that you were shocked over the amount of trash-talking in the PBA? Sa rookie, normal namang may mistakes na nagagawa. Pero somehow affected ako sa trash-

talking kasi at the time medyo struggling yung game namin. What sort of things do your opponents say to you? Things like “Ikaw lang naman ang tumitira” at “Hindi ka naman namamasa eh!” Pero okay lang kasi that means they’re intimidated by me. What are your most memorable games so far? Nung kalaban namin yung Air 21 at Ginebra. Yung Ginebra, sobrang dami nilang fans so parang buong stadium kalaban mo. Lahat sila against sa ’yo, at

challenging kalaban si Kuya Mark [Caguioa]. Yung sa Air 21, hindi ko alam pero lahat ng shots ko pumapasok during that game. Ako yung highest pointer nung game na yun. You once scored 83 points in a game in the UAAP. Are you looking forward to repeating this feat in the PBA? Malayo pang lakbayin yun. Hindi ko maisip na makagawa kahit kalahati nun. Makapasok lang sa semis, at siyempre sa finals, yun ang goal ko as a rookie.

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TOP MEN KAILANGAN KO NG MORE MATURITY INSIDE THE COURT. KAILANGANG MAIINTINDIHAN KO KUNG KAILAN GAGAMITIN YUNG AGGRESSIVENESS AND WHEN TO SLOW DOWN

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WHO THEY ARE: Neil, Gep, Josh, Eric, and Pabs—an electropop band formed in 2012, who released an EP in 2013 and started getting everyone’s attention with their disco-ballad number, “Misteryoso”

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We take it you’ve been around for quite some time now, playing in different bands. Josh (vocals, guitars): Medyo matagal na rin kaming tumutugtog. Si Eric sa Fuseboxx, si Neil sa The Naked Lights, si Gep sa Lip Service. One night nagkabanggaan kami sa gig, nagkayayaang bumuo ng band… With the many sub-genres sprouting now, how did you pin down the sound you wanted? And what do you call it? Josh: We listed down our influences; we jammed Japanese bands, electro dance bands. That’s www.fhm.com.ph

WHY THEY’RE HERE: With a 12-track, full-length, radio-friendly album due for release this summer, they’re bound to be your younger sister’s and her colegiala friends’ favorite new band. Hence, yours, too.

BAND

our common ground. Bands like Delphic, Last Dinosaurs. Neil: But we don’t want to contain ourselves in that genre. Josh: Hindi namin ma-categorize talaga so we just call it pop-rock, electro. You write mostly in Filipino. Even your posts in your Facebook page are in Filipino! Why? Josh: It’s natural. Once in a blue moon lang kaming may English na kanta. Mas ramdam pag nagsasalita or kumakanta ka sa Filipino kasi yun talaga yung kinalakihan namin. Sa Facebook

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FOLLOW THEM: @autotelicmusic

naman… Gep: Mas madaling mag-type sa Tagalog! Ha ha! We hear an album is in the works. What can we expect from it? Josh: There’s going to be 10-12 tracks. Plano naming i-release around March and April. Neil: Habang tumatagal lumalaki yung knowledge and experience namin sa music, so dito mabubuhos yung mga natutunan namin. Your self-titled EP was wellreceived by bloggers and critics. Your song “Misteryoso”

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landed on “top songs of 2013” lists everywhere. How do you feel about it? Neil: The mere fact na may nakaappreciate na isa or dalawang tao overwhelming na sa amin. Nakakakilig. Eric: Malalaki pa yung names ng mga kasabay namin, so it’s really a great honor. Josh: At the same time, pressure siya on our part. Parang message siya na, “Uy, umayos kayo!” Ha ha! Neil: We know that we have to work harder, para mas gumanda yung craft. We don’t want to be labeled as one-hit wonders! FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 73

2014

TOP MEN WE DON’T WANT TO BE LABELED AS ONE-HIT WONDERS!

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DIN N E R T

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M I L E RUC CHEF

WHO HE IS: Graduate of top London culinary school Le Cordon Bleu; host of Asian Food Channel’s Tablescapes and The Boss ; restaurateur and food supplier to convenience stores and airlines WHY HE’S HERE: With a new season of The Boss underway, and his firm belief in the global recognition of Filipino food, he’s our new rockstar chef FOLLOW HIM: @chefbrucelim

Your show Tablescapes has you traveling all around the country. What should we know about our local fares? I like how every region in the Philippines has its own signature twist and taste, which I really enjoy. A lot of people in the world don’t really realize how much flavor we have to offer. They know a lot of the basics, like lumpia, pancit, adobo. But I find that if they came here and tasted our kilawin, bagnet, pinikpikan, there’s so much more we have to offer, which could make Filipino food go global and enjoy it as much as we do. www.fhm.com.ph

Filipino food has actually been listed by some sites as one of the top food trends in 2014. Is there any truth to this? Yes, and I find it awesome. Especially right now in New York, there’s a halo-halo craze. It’s just insane right now—everyone wants to try it. Our lechon is also being widely sought-after, especially after Anthony Bourdain’s comment about Zubuchon being one of the best pigs he’s ever eaten. A lot of the New York chefs are trying to mimic that. [Global companies] are saying that the Philippines is the next market they’re trying to

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penetrate. We have nothing to fear because Pinoy food is really going to hit the world hard soon. How did Filipino food suddenly become famous? I think a lot of people are looking for the next “in” thing. A couple of years back, it was Korean, and it kind of started to die down. Somewhere in Spain, they’re going crazy over this $20 “jelly.” When I finally tasted it, it was freakin’ buko jelly! Everyone’s searching for the next big thing. And I think that’s what’s going to happen for the next three or four years. What are you currently

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venturing in? I’m currently with a food manufacturing company. I supply certain convenience stores and airlines. The Kariman from Ministop is one of them. That’s one of my first ones. I used to have a restaurant (Chef’s Table) but I closed it down. I’m moving it to a new location. I’m trying to do a by-reservation-only restaurant and it’s going to be fun because I won’t have to worry if I’m not here since I travel around often. What’s in it for you this year? Hopefully I’m probably going to do another season of The Boss. A lot of things can happen with food! FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 75

2014

TOP MEN WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BECAUSE PINOY FOOD IS REALLY GOING TO HIT THE WORLD HARD SOON

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N E WI T E R FAVO

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G N ETO YM N N U F

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WHO HE IS: Survivor Philippines Season 4 champ, now a Bubble Gang mainstay WHY HE’S HERE: He plays his Bubble Gang Antonietta role to perfection, almost comparable to Michael V.’s Mr. Assimo. Right here is the next big thing in Pinoy comedy! FOLLOW HIM: @amazingbetong

What people don’t know is that you started your TV career very early… Nag-start ako 1996 sa The Probe Team as a PA. Unti-unti, natutong mag-edit, magsulat, mag-produce ng stories. Pag may reenactment, kami na yung gumagawa para walang bayad. Then Survivor happened. Next thing we know, you’re on Bubble Gang! Pangarap ko noon pa yun kaso hindi ko alam kung paano mangyayari. One time, ininvite ako ng [production crew ng] Bubble Gang na lumabas sa www.fhm.com.ph

Spooky Nights. Nabigyan ako ng chance na gumanap as lead role. Nagustuhan siguro nila yung acting ko, so ininvite nila ako sa Bubble Gang. About Antonietta: Did you personally create that character? Ay hindi, it was created by one of the writers. Pero thankful ako na binibigyan nila ako ng sketch na naipapakita ko yung brand of comedy ko. Nakakatawa dun, ngayon nag-ge-guest na sila ng mga tunay na kontrabida—Chanda Romero, Roy Vinzon, Jaclyn Jose. Kailangan panindigan mo yung

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pagiging mataray ko! We must say you’re a natural at making people laugh. What’s the secret? Sabi ni Kuya Bitoy [Michael V], kailangan pag nagpapatawa ka, dapat hindi ka nagpapatawa. Effortless, hindi pilit. In real life, maloko talaga ako, kaya dinadala ko na lang siya sa acting. Ayaw ko rin kasing mawala yung Betong na “amazing.” Is that your own line? Yun, sa akin yun. Yung “amazing” isa yun sa gusto ko talagang binabanggit. Sa Probe Team kasi, lahat English. So pag tinatanong

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ako, what can you say about the story? Ang sinasagot ko, “The story? It’s…amazing!” So lagi ko siyang sinasabi sa dulo ng statement, para maalala nila si Betong. The amazing Betong. Ha ha! You also have a film, Basement, out this month. What do you do in your free time? Do you have a family? I’m still the script supervisor for Day Off, a show on GMA News TV. I’m single. Actually nanawagan nga po ako, medyo may pera na po akong pang-buhay sa pamilya. Ha ha! FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 77

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TOP MEN

KAILANGAN PAG NAGPAPATAWA KA, DAPAT HINDI KA NAGPAPATAWA. EFFORTLESS, HINDI PILIT

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HOW TO DIG

YOUR OWN

HOLE ALIVE AND GET OUT OF IT

F H M g ets i n to th e i n credi bl e h i ghs a nd ab so l u te l ows o f b eco m i n g an addi ct WORDS: ANTON D. UMALI PHOTOS FROM GETTY IMAGES

When your mother, th e woman who brought you i n to th is worl d , thr ows an ashtray at your face, you know you’ve done s om ething v e ry w rong. King* deserved what was coming to him and he knew it. He had made a habit of stealing from his family to support a drug and gambling problem. He was smoking shabu almost daily and losing a huge sum of money playing the odds at basketball. He was also lying through his teeth to cover up his shady activities. It started with stealing petty cash, and from there he lost himself quickly: stealing more cash, a cousin's girlfriend's laptop, pawning his car, huge gambling debts. “The most I’ve owed at one time was P30,000, which my parents had to eventually pay for me,” King reveals. “But if you total everything, all the debts I incurred during my gambling days, I probably owed about half a million. My parents told me that the money they used to pay my debts was supposed to be for the renovation of our house or even money I would have eventually inherited.” All that while King was still in college and living under his parents’ roof. For three years he would go on to chase that self-destructive high. And when his mom, after finding out about his stealing from a cousin’s girlfriend, finally snapped and threw that ashtray, he knew he was a wreck, his family was a wreck, he was an addict, and he should be on his way to rehab. Looking back at his path to addiction, King, now 28 and working as an HR Specialist, couldn’t brush off the possibility that he may have started out very young, and it had much to do with hotdogs. No fucking kidding. Hotdogs.

* Not hi s rea l nam e

The addict g ene “There is an addictive gene. It can get passed on and it’s hereditary,” says psychiatrist Dr. Randy Dellosa, founder of Life Transformation: The Randy Dellosa Wellness Center and a specialist in addiction rehabilitation. It is possible for an individual to already be an addict prior to abusing illegal substances. You can be born already predisposed to addiction. “Sometimes it doesn’t come

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This is true whether it’s a substance or a out in the offspring or the children as process addiction.” the same addiction, but it doesn’t have to be a substance,” he adds. “Addictions that involve an activity are called process Downer/Upper addictions.” King would continue his basketball The earliest manifestation of addiction career up to his second year of college that King can remember is that of his playing for his university’s B-team. His cravings for hotdogs as a young child. athleticism proved to be a good cover for “Sabi ng nanay ko pinaglihi ako sa his new preoccupation: illegal drugs. “My first experience was with weed hotdog,” King says. “I don’t know if that and Valium,” King says. “I was in counts as an addiction, but when you’re third year high school. It started out addicted to something, you really don’t of curiosity. I didn’t even want to try have any rhyme or reason. I just wanted it at first. Nagustuhan ko lang yung it. Pag hindi hotdog yung nakahain, hitsura nung bud and yung amoy niya. hindi ako kakain.” Humingi ako sa kaibigan ko tapos inipit Born into a family of hearty eaters, ko sa notebook ko. But once I hit my it felt natural to gorge as much as his senior year of high school, things had stomach could handle. progressed. I was no longer just curious, Aside from food, King was (and pretty I was smoking marijuana and popping much still is) addicted to basketball. valium recreationally.” There was just something about thesport The downers didn’t really get in the that gave him a rush. But it wasn’t until way of King; his use of the drug was his junior year of high school, when he more social rather than self-destructive. found himself a spot as a guard/forward But that all changed when he ended on his school’s varsity basketball team, his college basketball career and was that he discovered the passion—and a use introduced to a game-changer that would for his large build, which he mostly used later have him “fouling out” of life. He playing defense. had his first taste of methamphetamine, “When I play, I feel aggressive and at shabu as most junkies know it. the same time nakakapag-concentrate “My first time was with a friend,” ako,” he says. “My mind is constantly he recalls. “After school, we went to working when I’m playing ball. It’s a the house of a common acquaintance in mix of aggression, concentration, and Pasay and we took it. Simple as that.” pag-iisip. Sometimes aalis ako ng bahay 3 Small white crystals were loaded on to a or 4 p.m. to play tapos babalik na ako ng runway, then heated underneath with a bahay 10 na nang gabi. I would say I was disposable lighter stripped of its metal addicted to basketball, especially when I casing. He held the tooter, waiting for was in high school and college.” chemistry to do its job, turning the solid Dr. Dellosa says that there are crystals into a liquid that then provided a behavioral patterns that determine if thin, odorless white smoke. a person is indeed a process addict. After the session, he remembers The first is preoccupation, and can be making his way back to his car (the observed as the subject’s life revolving one he would eventually pawn), only around a specific activity. Second, there to find that one of the tires was flat. He must be persistence despite negative felt wired and unfazed by the situation: consequences—meaning the activity is “When you’re high, siyempre may trip already affecting their lives in a negative way, whether it is work, family, or their ka. Napag-tripan ko yung gulong, for personal relationships—and still they two hours nagpalit ako ng gulong. Pawis persist. Third, the degree or frequency na pawis ako. After that, umaga na, wala of doing it gets higher—a tolerance is akong magawa, nag-basketball ako. I built. remember playing five games walang “I liken it to drinking,” says Dr. tigil. Di ako napagod. Dellosa. “At first, with one bottle, I remember saying to myself, ‘Wala naman pala ‘to eh. Ito na yun? Parang lasing ka na, but for the next few wala lang. Hindi ito nakaka-adik.’ times you’ll probably be needing My thinking reinforced the fact na more. It’s the same thing with process addiction. Even with process addictions like exercise: when you work out you get a certain Me th c r y s ta ls high, then if you keep repeating the process, you no longer feel the same rush. Then there also needs to be a form of withdrawal. Once the activity gets cut off, you feel sad about it and there’s a craving.

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ADDICT ION N E W H I G H S (A N D LO W S) F ly Highs Latest party drug that is a mix of ecstasy and shabu. Comes in capsule form and in various colors. B a th S alts Yes, bath salts. Same thing women use in tubs, when ingested, causes delusional hallucinations. K r okodil Also known as Desomorphine. Has similar effects as heroin and can lead to severed tissues. When abused, it can lead to limb amputation. Mollies Allegedly a Miley Cyrus favorite, it’s MDMA (commonly known as ecstasy) in pure, powder form. S izzurp A gangster and rapperapproved mix of Sprite or grape soda laced with cough syrup. S m arties Though not really illegal, it’s that maasim candy most kids enjoy. Check Youtube; those same kids are crushing and snorting them like cocaine.

mangyayari uli ito.” And it did. It somehow fed his need to catch a serious habit. He would do pushups. “Alam mong malakas yung tama mo kung nakakapag-30 pushups ka na hindi mo alam na kaya mo pala yun sa isang bagsak.” The longest he’d gone without sleep was five days. “Wa-five kung tawagin kasi five days na walang tulog,” he shares. “It was a conscious effort. I knew that I had to sleep when I began to see flashing lights out of nowhere. I also started seeing things that weren’t there. I saw a kid hanging on a tree that wasn’t there. Sabi ko, ‘Shit iba na ’to, kailangan kong matulog.’” According to Dr. Dellosa, it is possible for process addictions to evolve into substance addiction. “The safest thing to say is that some substances would be a gateway for other substances,” Dr. Dellosa explains. “Because sometimes it doesn’t necessarily cross over from process to substance; some people will stay with process and never go to substances and vice versa— but nevertheless it’s still addiction. In King’s case, the indirect conclusion here can be that he was already an adrenaline junkie. Playing basketball gave him a high and since he wasn’t getting his fix anymore, he probably just took the substance to replace it. The substance causes that adrenaline rush instantaneously.”

the odds: not in his favor The problems with drugs only escalated www.fhm.com.ph

he found his room ransacked. “All my things were broken dahil yung pinsan ko hinanap ako, at nung nakita niyang wala ako, winasak niya yung TV ko, electric fan, keyboard. Wala akong pakialam nun. No remorse. I was high.” It was only when his youngest sister sent him a text message asking, “Kuya, asan ka?” that the down and out King felt any semblance of regret and remorse. “Natauhan ako,” he says. His mother came to see him three days later. “When I first heard my mom speak, alam ko na kung saan ako pupunta. I even pictured the place in my mind. I told myself, ‘Eto na.’”

To o te r

Sink to get back up again

Ru nway

when he found himself steeped into gambling. King’s wager of choice: playing the odds for NBA games. He eventually became a bookie, setting up bets for other gamblers on campus. “I found I was successful at it at first,” he says. “I was only in my second year of college and it was a big deal because I was able to buy expensive liquor. I felt like a rapper, a gangster. I would buy two bottles of Alize and drink. I was able to treat my family just from odds money. I was able to buy all the shoes I wanted. The most I made was P70,000 at one time and I was even taking pictures of it, feeling like a pimp.” Things quickly went sour when the losses trumped the wins. “When my team started losing I became hardheaded,” King admits. “Pusta ako nang pusta kahit wala naman talaga akong pera.” King remembers praying at church, calling out to the heavens for his team to win. Threats were reaching home; the people he owed dropped by, agitating the household. When this led to more lying and stealing, his family had had enough. After pawning the laptop of his cousin’s girlfriend, he ran away, with no intention of returning home. His brother’s text message: “Ano’ng ginagawa mo? Putangina! Gago ka! Nasaan ka ba?” King was holing up at a drug acquaintance’s shabby house in Cavite. His “friends” not really trying to be friends, but sucking his wallet dry. When he snuck back home to get some clothes, facebook.com/FHM.ph s

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“Pagod” is how King describes those long three years of addiction. In November 2010 he went into rehab. “Suko na ako,” he says. “I felt that I had done enough damage to my family.” In rehab, King discovered he had anger issues. “I have a passive personality and I found that the reason behind my drug abuse stemmed from my anger,” he explains. “Drugs made me feel good about the people around me and about myself. I suppressed the anger by doing drugs, that’s why I loved it so much. I also discovered that I was a stubborn individual. During my stay in rehab, I didn’t allow myself to make excuses on why I should continue with the program. I was very hard on myself because I knew that if I went back to my old habits, my troubles would only get worse.” The introspective part of the program wasn’t the only hurdle he had to overcome, as the physical aspect of being kept inside posed a challenge. King developed a debilitating case of high blood pressure during his stay. There were withdrawal symptoms as well. Kanye West and Eminem also helped to get him back up. “Dahil hindi ako nakalaro ng basketball sa loob, music ang naging savior ko,” he shares. “I was listening to a lot of Kanye West, and napaka-timely nung Recovery album ni Eminem and even his Relapse album. I found comfort in the fact that there’s someone else in the world—whom I didn’t know—far from my social situation that was going through the same thing I was. I could relate.” King remembers the day of his release and the fear that came with stepping out into the world as a clean man. “I had to go because it was part of my recovery. I also celebrated my birthday and my release from rehab on the same day. It was a fitting end to my rehab stint and I fondly refer to it as my rebirth.” It has been three years since then, and he now has a wife and baby girl to care for. In his free time, he coaches kids for their village’s basketball league. He plays, of course, with as much intensity as when he was competing. That part of his personality he has retained. But there are no five-game-no-rest binges. No bets taken. FH M FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 83

A B Former FHM Girlfriend Angela Gabrielle sheds her cute image for a riskier new look

PH OTOG RAPHY:

E JAY L E U N G OF M I D N I G HT BON KE R S I NTE RVI EW:

M I CH R. LAG DAM E O STYLI N G: D E B RA B E R NALE S MAK E U P: JAN I N A D I Z ON HAI R: G E O R M I M PE R IAL

A

All good things must come to an end, so goes the cruel fact of life. After being struck dumb by the innocent sexiness of our October 2013 Girlfriend Angela Gabrielle, we quickly came to our collective senses and knew that we had to see her again (#stalkeralert). This registered nurse slash model slash all-around perfect specimen of womanhood’s 100% Hottie outing only served to stoke the flames of our addiction to her. So here we are again, breathlessly watching her work her seamless seduction in front of the lens—for the last time. You see, at this very moment, Angela is already based in a country where seat sales don’t go (and mustaches and tons of money are required). All good things must come to an end—but our addiction to her (a very, very bad thing) never will. Were you surprised at how FHM readers took to you? I was expecting bashers kasi totally different ang look ko from other FHM girls. Ang liit ng build ko, hindi ako super-sexy. Siguro kaya rin sila natuwa, dahil nga iba. Fresh yung hitsura, mukhang bata. Ha ha! Well, you did have a children’s birthday party. We suppose bagets really is your thing… Yung party setting parang pambata. Pero yung games nun pang bridal shower! Yung friends ko kasi mostly, gay, so may games like…suotan ng condom ang saging gamit ang bibig. 86 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

It’s intimidating and a lot harder to chat up a girl surrounded by her gay friends. How should we do it? Mas madali nga yun kung gwapo yung guy di ba? Kasi gustung-gusto ka na nung mga beki friends nung girl. Palakasan lang ng loob. You’re on your way out of the country to further your nursing career. But we hear that nursing really wasn’t your first choice? I really wanted to take up broadcast communication. Gusto ko sana yung trabahong nababato ako pag may rally, or sumusugod ako pag may bagyo. I wanted to be in the outdoors, interviewing people na hindi natin masyadong nababalitaan or discovering new things that people ignore. Moving abroad is a pretty adventurous thing to do. The merits are pretty obvious, but what’s the downside? Being alone! I have to learn how to live abroad independently without friends or family. When I leave, I have to learn how to be all by myself. What will you miss most about the Philippines? Puwera sa alak? Ha ha! Family talaga. Kasi yun

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lang naman ang wala dun eh. Close kasi ako sa daddy ko; may mga problema na minsan kahit sa kaibigan di ko masabi pero siya kaya kong lapitan. Daddy’s girl talaga ako ever since. Does being a daddy’s girl change your expectations of men? Yung daddy ko kasi, lumaking bad boy tapos nag-mature and naging responsible nung nag pamilya na. Gusto ko rin ng tulad ni daddy, yung maunawain, dahil nga daddy’s girl ako. Tapos nung tumanda na ako at natutong magbisyo, gusto ko na rin bigla yung ganun. So nag-iiba siya habang tumatanda. You became an FHM. com.ph 100% Hottie. Was that shoot the bravest you’ve ever done? Isa na yun. Pero alam mo kung anong mas brave? Ito! Yung ginawa ko ngayon! Ha ha! Kabadong-kabado na ako sa simula pa lang, kasi akala ko hindi ko mamemeet yung expectations ng FHM. Your fears are unfounded there. But of all your shoots, which do you think is the sexiest? Or do you feel sexier when you’re off our pages? I feel sexier pag hindi nakaayos. Yung pagiging sexy naman hindi based sa paghuhubad or sa suot mo sa shoot. Di ba nga, nasa attitude yun. They say confidence is sexy. FH M

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‘I F E E L S E X I E R P A G H I N D I N A K A AYO S . Y U N G P A G I G I N G SEXY NAMAN HINDI BASED S A PA G H U H U B A D O R S A S U OT M O S A S H O O T ’

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723  :25'6 72 '(6&5,%( 7+,6 %22.

We have a lot more words in mind, but we’ll let you have fun defining it your way as soon as you begin a mouth-watering food adventure with SPOT.ph’s Top 10 Everything Food Lists 2014! START YOUR NEXT FOOD TRIP BY GRABBING A COPY. AVAILABLE IN LEADING BOOKSTORES AND NEWSSTANDS NATIONWIDE FOR ONLY P150.

C HEW ON T H I S M od el A n n N atn at u sed to be teased for her unique name .

If those m ean boys c ould s e e he r n o w,

th ey’ll su rely reg ret picking on her…

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A NN N ATNAT

Model Ann Natnat elegantly strips off the clothing we’ve dressed her in for this shoot, her slender body creating interesting shapes as she bares her soul for the lens. She is confident and it shows. But Ann claims that though modeling was her dream, she wasn’t always this secure—her shyness stemming from a surname that in Filipino sounds like the word for "chewing". Growing up, th kids would poke fun at her. A song by pop group Smokey Mountain didn’t help either. “Alam ninyo yung kanta na ‘Da coconut nut is a giant nut…’? Ha ha! That’s what they’d tease me with, paulit-uli!,” she says. Now, everytime I hear that song it drives me crazy. Of course, now I’m more than comfortable with my name.” She should. Looking at these photos, it’s easy to see that Ann has gotten the last laugh.

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This is your first time appearing in the magazine, right? Yes, it is. But I’m always present at FHM events, like the victory party. What makes you an FHM event regular? I want to show people how sexy I am. It becomes both a pleasure and an honor for me to be part of your events because it makes me feel like I’m one of the sexiest women in the country, ha ha! You went totally naked for our shoot today. How do you feel shooting in the buff? I really wasn’t sure how to handle it. But when I perform in front of the camera, I try and make sure I deliver my best. I was nervous because there are people here I hardly know. Well, it didn't show. You seem like a natural in front of the camera. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to be a model. Mahilig ako dun sa feeling na nakikilala ako. Masaya siya. Even if it’s hard, I’m enjoying myself and that’s what’s important.

Your last name is quite interesting and easy to remember. Where do the Natnats hail from? My father is from Pangasinan. It’s a famous surname in that province. Have you ever gotten teased for having a funny sounding last name? Hay naku! All the time. Even when I was a kid in school, alam ninyo yung kanta na “Da coconut nut is a giant nut…”? Ha ha! That’s what they would tease me with. ! Now, everytime I hear that song it drives me crazy. Of course, I ignored the kids who teased me. And now, I’m more than comfortable with my name. How did you counter the teasing of these meanies? Sinasabayan ko na lang sila! Ha ha! Nakikisakay ako kasi if I allowed them to get to me or papatulan ko, talagang maaasar ako. What kind of man do you look for? I don’t need a rich man but I need someone who can give me my needs. But I'm not materialistic. I need a guy to be supportive and understanding. Physically, although attractive ang gwapo, it really isn’t that important. What approach should he take? I’m still a traditional lady. Medyo Maria Clara pa rin ang dating ko, ha ha! I like to be courted a few months.

He needs to invest time in me. I like being surprised because there needs to be effort. I want to feel that he wants me, yung buong pagkatao ko. Is his sexual desire for you important as well? Yes, siyempre. As a model, especially when I do sexy shoots, I need to be in touch with my sexuality. He has to want me for that, too. How do you make yourself feel sexy? I imagine. I practice. You need to embody sensuality so you can really project your inner sexiness. What do you imagine? Ha ha! Siyempre, I imagine being with a guy, doing stuff! Alam niyo na yun! You need to imagine romance. Are you a romantic at heart? Sometimes. I want my guy to be sweet to me because that's what I do to my man. Are you also sweet when it comes to sex? Oo naman. But I can also be aggressive. I’m more dominant when it comes to activities in the bedroom. Can you describe this aggressiveness? Parang laging ako ang nagyayaya! Tapos yung mga lalaki sa buhay ko, sila yung sumusuko. Ano ba ‘to? Nakakahiya! Especially when I’m drunk, I become a lion! I roar! FHM

For more of Ann, visit FHM.com.ph

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, G N A D

! L R I G

odel m t r I m p ot y D a n g f Tr i n i p a b l e o is ca g us on n havi nees, k our king the s than heaven high

PHOTOGRAPHY

JOHN AGCAOILI INTERVIEW

PONG CASTILLO MAKEUP AND HAIR

IVADELL VIDA SPECIAL THANKS TO

NICOLE SZEETO

ANG D Y T I N I TR

Import models are a testament to how the heavens have blessed planet Earth with such a variety of beauty. “I think Asians have an advantage because we can look both innocent and sexy,” says import model Trinity Dang, whose said innocence isn’t displayed for your pleasure in this set of naughty photos. Residing in Northern California, the Vietnamese stunner sure can offer the best of both worlds. And as thrilling as that duality may seem, she says she’s actually your typical girl-next-door who enjoys staying at home and laughing over her favorite funny flicks. So aside from making tank tops tighter with her ample bosom and mesmerizing us with her coy smile and deep lustful stares, she easily fits the mold of best bud for a staycation comedy marathon, too. Dang!

For more of Trinity, visit FHM.com.ph

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Your name is sexy. It was a name my family gave to me. I’ve grown up to be very fond of it. Has a guy tried to drop a pickup line about your name? Too many dang times! Ha ha! When did you start modeling professionally? I started modeling a little less than two years ago. I started off just messing around and taking some pictures with a friend. My love grew from there and here I am today. You’ve been around the globe. What edge do you think Asian models have? I think Asians have an advantage because we can look both innocent and sexy. I feel like Asian models can pull off so many different types of looks that make them really diverse. Have you visited the Philippines yet? No. Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to visit. I do go to Vietnam once a year and I heard they are both pretty similar. What do you know about the Philippines and Filipinos? Well, my roommates are Filipinos, and so are a lot of my friends. I know that they make lumpia, pansit, sinigang, and adobo. Yum! If you’re not gracing glossy pages, where can we find you? You can find me at home. I love to be at home with my two dogs. I love cooking for my friends, relaxing, and watching funny movies. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done so far? I’m not as daring as most of you 100 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

would think. The craziest thing I’ve done is fly to Vegas with my best friend with no luggage or any essentials, and we ended up staying for three nights. Ha ha! Are you as adventurous of a lover? I feel like I’m a sensual lover. I’m the kind of girl who values love over lust. I need someone to snuggle with, not just have fun with. What turns you on? Definitely chivalry and a sense of humor. A nice smile and a good style wouldn’t hurt either.

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And a bad move would be? Being arrogant and cocky. Let’s just say I like men, not little boys. What part of your body do you think catches men’s attention? My smile, definitely. That’s what I’ve always been told since I was a little girl, and I’ve grown up to really believe it. You really have a nice body and, on top of that, nice smile. How do you maintain your figure? That’s easy! I practice the McDiet! Ha ha! FH M www.fhm.com.ph

e

WORDS: ASH MAHINAY; PHOTOGRAPHY: LOUIE AGUINALDO, GETTY IMAGES (FISH)

TH E WAT E R’ S FI N E The waterproof watch is a myth, but water-resistant to 30 meters still sounds pretty safe, right? Nope. Don’t try to swim, shower, or fist your girlfriend unless you want to take a chance on busting your timepiece. But feel free to leave it on while washing your hands or sweating it out in the gym, a small splash here and there won’t kill it. Here’s a handy guide of what you can do according to those little numbers…

30 meters

50 meters

wash a car and other light water-related work

100 meters

swimming, sailing

200 meters

snorkeling, watersports

Divers 200/300m actually diving to any of the depths mentioned above 300 meters

Unisilver Time’s Urbanite Collection is rated to 100 meters, by the way. It also comes in this total y Baywatch shade of red, so feel free to get wet and sexy with it, Mr. Bora-bod.

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FHM

STYLE

OUT OF BOUNDS WE TAKE ABS-CBN SPORTS + ACTION’S BOOM GONZALES AND TJ MANOTOC CLOSER TO BRAWLING BRUTES— AND THEY LOOK SET FOR THE ACTION

PHOTOGRAPHY: NIKO VILLEGAS OF EDGE OF LIGHT s INTERVIEW: PONG CASTILLO STYLING: ASHLEY CAYUCA s GROOMING: ANNE CASTAÑO SPECIAL THANKS TO PINK HEAVEN PARTY FLAVORS FOR THE MASCOTS

B

oom and TJ are no strangers to live action—sitting behind the sports desk at our favorite ball games—bringing us more excitement than the mere sight of men going one-on-one inside the court. “We’ve been broadcasting sports together since 2002, and somehow we learned each other’s style and technique in delivering lines,” says Boom. We don’t know how else to challenge these two, so we brought along six-foottall mascots to wrangle one another. Their take? “Challenge accepted!” Now that is some fun action.

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F H ML E STY

BOOM GONZA L E Z’ S OUTFITS A L L FROM UNIQL O & NIK E TJ MA NOTOC ’ S OUTFITS A L L FROM BE N S HE RMA N

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F H ML E STY

REAL

TALK CHOR T V S P O RT S A N

bayan Jessy Mendiola in a cheerdance competition last year, and ever s nce we’ve wanted to know his secret in the business. “Just be dynamic and fresh. Keep reinventing yourself,” he says. It seems doable, only Boom credits his success to over a decade of being in the TV and radio industry.

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If you were some regular Juan who gets picked for fifteen seconds of onscreen fame, what do you want to be caught wearing? “Something not neon. I don’t have a problem with being dark, and I already know what works for me. I try to avoid neon-colored clothing. I know what colors and styles look good on me.”

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T V (D r e s s in g ) G u ide Boom says sweat is the enemy. “If you want to get into anything related to sports, don’t wear colors and fabrics that are jabar-prone,” he explains. “If I’m hosting a sports event, I grab that black shirt right away. I sweat a lot, so at least it won’t be obvious if I’m wearing black. Avoid that gray shirt.”

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REAL

TALK A LY ST T V S P O RT S A N

s o oes what every man dreams of: watch live basketball from the best seat in the arena, get people to listen to what expert pieces of advice you have, and the best part: get paid for it. But it takes more than trash-talking and playing Mr. KnowIt-All to be in the business and stay in the business—you really have to know your game. If you were some regular Juan who gets picked for 15 seconds of onscreen fame, what do you want to be caught wearing? “Definitely something comfortable. A good pair or sneakers or a statement shirt would make me stand out, for sure.” TV (Dressing) Guide The analyst has a suitably technical tip: “Don’t wear striped clothes on air to avoid distortion.” And mind your footwear: “If you’re thinking we don’t wear nice kicks behind the table, you’re wrong. The PBA audience pays attention, and they appreciate a good pair of shoes.”

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PAC K S U N 1

THE

’S HIPSTER CHOICE This one is for all you cool guys

P2,8 5 0, Superdry

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THE

THE

BALLER’S CHOICE

EVERYMAN CHOICE

’S

RORO plane rides with this–because you don’t want to look like a struggling backpacker

Timeless style mixed with perfect convenience. Don’t pick one that looks like a school bag, though

P 1 , 2 9 9 . 7 5 , Sa lv a t o re Man n at Th e S M D e pt . S t ore

1 P 3 , 4 9 0 , O u tdo o r Pro duc t s 2 P 1 , 8 9 5 , S k e che rs

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FHM

All the trendiest ways to haul your stuff from point A to point B

S T Y L SE ITEM

You may have all your essentials for summer ready, but do you have somewhere to put them all? Admit it, bros: having a nice bag is as much a part of the legit beach look as your beach towel and lobstertoned sunburn. We hook you up with the latest drops, but how to get all that sand out of every nook and cranny of these things is all up to you. PHOTOGRAPHY: LOUIE AGUINALDO ē WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

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THE

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PA RTY FIEND’S CHOICE

A’ S SEGURIST CHOICE

Hi-vis paintjobs make you easier for friends to find when you wander off drunk–again

Is your idea of accommodation a tent? Grab a tech pack

P 4 , 6 5 0 , Superdry 1 P 1 , 8 9 5 , S k e ch e rs 2 P 2 , 8 5 0 , S u p e rd r y 3 P 3 , 8 9 0 , O u t d o o r Pro d u c t s

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FEBRUARY GI R LFR I EN D

MAYA T. Doesn’t she look like someone we all know? Photography: Jerico Montemayor for Pentax D645 Medium Format Camera Interview: Mikey Agulto Styling: Bela Vitug Makeup: Rhina Montemayor Hair: Klick Victoria

As far as babe doppelgangers go, you wouldn’t find a better stand-in for our favorite Koreana than FHM’s February girlfriend, Maya T.—except she’ll greet you with Konnichiwa instead of Annyeong, because she’s Japanese. Other than that, though, everything about Maya reminds us of our August 2013 covergirl. She is in fact every bit her kalokalike: those razor-sharp eyes, cute two front teeth, and awesome womanly curves. And she’s a bit of a krung-krung too. It’s incredible, almost unreal, and we love it. We are so going to find a way to hook up with more girls like Maya…

QUICKFIRE ROUND My friends call me: Maya Likes: Working out, traveling, eating Dislikes: Rain Special talent: Fluent both in Japanese and English/Playing softball Shortest relationship: Maybe a week Longest relationship: 3 years I usually hang out at: The gym, coffee shop, or in the mall

GIRLFRIEND

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GIRLFRIEND

We just can’t get enough of your English accent! I don’t know, ha ha! I somehow pick up accents wherever I go, whether in Canada or Australia or Japan. And I study and practice a lot, too, so I can mimic other people’s accents. Did you have a hard time communicating with people when you first left Japan? When I first got to Canada, I didn’t understand English much. I didn’t understand most of the questions people asked me. Just in case you make it big here in the Philippines, you think you could learn a bit of Tagalog? I think so. Tagalog and Spanish are kind of similar, and I find Spanish relatively easy to learn. I don’t think I’ll have a hard time studying other languages. Finish this sentence: I get the most compliments on… My shoulders. People also love my teeth, though I had it fixed when I was little.

What type of guys do you usually go for? I like the funny ones. I’m beginning to appreciate Western guys because I’m now used to Western culture. I’m not saying I don’t like Japanese guys—I’ve had Japanese boyfriends in the past—but they’re a bit too disciplined and traditional for my liking. But that’s what makes them weird and awesome. I think people assume we’re very conservative. Japanese people nowadays love Western culture, so they like to be more out there. Deep inside, we’re all still very traditional. What are girls in Japan known for? Uhm, we’re super kind. Ha ha! We’re very loyal with guys. We don’t mind doing everything for our man–we make them food, take care of them, and all that. And in return, what do you think of Filipino guys? I do know that Filipino guys are very nice, kind, and giving.

‘I GET ASKED BY PEOPLE A LOT IF I’M K O R E A N , A C T U A L LY. FOR SOME REASON, NOBODY ASSUMES I ’ M J A PA N E S E AT FIRST GLANCE’

For more of Maya, visit FHM.com.ph

118 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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My best friend’s husband is Filipino and he’s just the nicest guy. What’s it like to have you as a girlfriend? I think I’m a good girlfriend. I don’t cheat, I don’t really party, I don’t drink or smoke. I just like to stay at home. I just want to go anywhere with my guy and have fun. We also hear you’re a ONE FC ring girl. I did ring girl duties a couple of times back in Vancouver, but I’ve never done it on a really big scale. We were here for a show back in December, and there were so many people at the arena! Filipinos are very nice. They would cheer me on. I love how hospitable they are. Are you a mixed martial arts fan? Well, back in Japan I used to watch Pride FC and K-1, but that’s about it. I’ve seen a lot of mixed martial arts but I don’t really know the rules. I know the popular fighters, though.

Have you ever been in a fight? You mean cat fights? Not really, not anymore. I have two brothers, and we used to fight each other a lot when we were kids. But I don’t fight with girls. From where we’re standing, you look like a toughie. I think so too! I can lift heavy weights, so I think I can handle myself. You remind us of Jinri Park. Yeah, I know. People here tell me that all the time! Do you agree? No. But I’m flattered! Why do you think that is? I think my face looks a bit Korean, so that helps. I get asked by people a lot if I’m Korean, actually. For some reason, nobody assumes I’m Japanese at first glance. FH M

Maya’s life this month

“Love my new n a i l c o l o r ! ”

” B e c a u s e I ’ m m u s h y l i ke t h a t J ”

”It’s been a hard day’s night and I’m goin’ out!” www.fhm.com.ph

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 119

T H E PA R A N OID GUI TO E V Y D AY O D E INS HEAL

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From t bottle he food y o in, is s you put u eat to t he your any p w sniff l the c ace safe? ater u tell y o u h o l p r i t s o u t , We w to avoid and them …

1 AS B E STOS

WORDS: LIO MANGUBAT; PHOTOS FROM GETTY IMAGES

Because of its fireproof qualities, asbestos was used ubiquitously as a no-brainer, all-purpose construction material in the Philippines for the past 50 years. Today, old-building demolitions throw up a cloud of asbestos fibers in the air. In limited quantities, these fibers are mostly harmless because you expel them anyway. But prolonged exposure allow the fibers to sneak their way inside your lungs, or lodge themselves deep into your pulmonary lining, causing all sorts of havoc.

STOS AS B E E ? E FR modern Today’s structures ra o t 1.3 p ry contem estos-free, bu ation b n s e a may be ople around th risk to e t p a n y antl millio ording signific are still exposure, acc aign p s asbesto Tanjusay, cam tos to Alan of Ban Asbes officer ilippines. Ph

AS B E STO S-S PE C I FI C D I S EAS E S 1 Asbestosis In asbestosis, deadly fibers can inflame your lungs and create scar tissue. Like a lot of complications from the material, asbestosis is a slow-burn killer—you’ll only detect symptoms after 10 to 15 years. T h e Danger Signs ³ Shortness of breath ³ Persistent, mucus-producing cough ³ Chest pain and tightness

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2 Mes ot he lio m a Asbestos fibers can also cause a rare form of cancer in the pleura, the thin membrane under your rib cage wrapped around your lungs. Mesothelioma is caused exclusively by asbestos. The Danger S i gns ³ Pleural plaques—scar tissue detected on your pleura ³ Shortness of breath, fatigue, anemia, coughing up blood ³ Pleural effusion—liquid that floods your lung

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A S B E S TO S R I S K FAC TO R :

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Unless you work in construction and demolition, or live and work in the proximity of old buildings that are falling apart, the chances of constantly breathing in asbestos fibers are very low. Check your immediate neighborhood and consult with your doctor. If you smoke, effects may be exacerbated.

FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 121

UPGRADE 2 D U ST M IT E S

ION S TAT I N FE ! T R E AL se mite e u o h ge An avera o weeks to thre lay m tw lives fro . A female can nd s a th 0 n mo een 4 re betw mid anywhe . The more hu s g re g o e m 0 e 38 bitat, th their ha your mites d n u fec are.

They’re everywhere, infesting every corner of your life, not affording you any minute of rest. No, they’re not your exes—they’re dust mites, the invisible scourge of mankind. “They’re the leading cause of allergies worldwide,” says Dan Luchangco, M.D., of the Makati Medical Center. “Allergic rhinitis is so common in the morning, because they live in your bed.” Okay, so maybe they’re more like our exes than we care to admit.

TH E G R E AT M ITE C L E A N- U P L I F E CYC L E O F A M IT E $USTMITESFEEDONDUST4HEYTHRIVEINHUMIDPLACES INSIDEYOURHOME ESPECIALLYINYOURBEDDING AND HATCHEGGSINYOURPILLOWANDSHEETS"YTHEMSELVES DUSTMITESAREHARMLESSCREATURES"UTWHENTHEYEAT THEYPOOPALOT0ROTEINSINTHEIRPOOPJOGOURIMMUNE SYSTEM CAUSINGITTOPRODUCEHISTAMINEANDGIVERISE TORHINITISORASTHMA!DUSTMITECANPOOPUPTO PROTEIN ENCASEDPELLETSADAY ANDANYWHEREFROMA HUNDREDTOlVEHUNDREDMITESCANLIVEINAGRAMOF DUST3O YEAHˆTHATSALOTOFCRAP

ET F O R G GY : G O TH E D S E-M ITE OU T RY H T Y L E y S ate, the mites m ctions. e s u o h When opposite dire uck, the face in to her like a tr ale’s fem g up Backin ttaches to the uckers, s a l a le n a a m her d using rear en his penis into s n rt a e , ix d ins opulatr bursa c es sperm. unleash

Make your home as mite-free as possible

DUST MITE RISK FAC TOR :

s+EEPYOURPETSAWAYFROMYOURLIVING QUARTERS&URANDFEATHERS FORTHOSE INCLINEDTOBIRDS PROVIDEMOREFOOD SOURCESFORMITES s,AUNDERYOURSHEETSREGULARLYWITH WARMWATERANDDETERGENT s!IRYOURBEDDINGSOUT s4HOROUGH WEEKLYVACUUMINGOFALL CARPETS FURNITURE ANDTEXTILESCANHELP MANAGEDUSTMITEPOPULATIONS

It’s nearly mpossible to get rid of all dust mites in a house. Because they’re everywhere (especially in the places where we sleep), they’ll stick around to give you runny noses and the sniffles for the foreseeable future. Thankfully, a combination of good hygiene and good cleaning practices should set you right.

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3 T RAN S FATS On November 12, 2013, the US Food and Drug Administration declared partially hydrogenated oils as “generally not recognized as safe”—a fancy bit of wording that may be the first step to the eventual banning of trans fat. Preventing “an additional 20,000 heart attacks and 7,000 deaths from heart disease each year,” it claimed in a press release.

W H AT A R E T R A N S FATS ? Not so common in nature, but artificially cooked up in abundance, trans fats are a type of unsaturated fat that’s derived from vegetable oils. They’re great in that foods with trans fat don’t spoil easily, which makes it a staple in processed goods—but they’ve been known to raise levels of low density lipoprotein (the socalled “bad cholesterol”) and lower levels of high density lipoprotein (the “good cholesterol”).

LD SHOU SO L A ? WE S FAT k in TRAN B A N ngo doesn’t th e a th Dr. Luch at that stuff all , it’s e e so. “We he says. “For m and !” iet D re . e n h o e ti ra tim g mode t.” Heart practicin ake up for a lo s up to m e k exercise eanwhile, ma in the m s disease ent of all death to the 30 perc es, according f Philippin pine Society o Philip nsion. Hyperte

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W H AT F O O D S C O NTA I N TR A N S FAT S? Oh, a lot. Partially hydrogenated oil can be found in the ingredients list of a lot of supermarket products. Plus, restaurants may deep-fry their food in these trans fat-rich oils. Here’s a partial list of products s s s s s s s

Crackers s 3HORTENING Cookies s &RENCH&RIES #OFFEECREAMER THOUGH #ANNEDFROSTING -C$ONALDSCLAIMS $ONUTS TOBETRANS FAT -ARGARINE FREE ACCORDINGTO -OVIE +EN9ANG #%/ THEATER AND ANDPRESIDENT MICROWAVEABLE OF-C$ONALDS popcorn 0HILIPPINES

TR ANS FAT RISK FAC TOR :

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Heart disease is the no. 2 killer in the country, second only to tobacco. Trans fats raise cholesterol. Cholesterol contributes to heart disease. If you love your heart, this is a no-brainer.

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STRAN E? E R F T FA ALLOWS ! $ & 4HE53 RERSTOLABEL E CTU MANUFA STRANS FAT FRE G  ODA N O A F H IR T E S TH ES ONTAINL VER THE IFTHEYC STANCE(OWE TION B IA C U OFTHES AN(EART!SSO KEOF !MERIC NDSADAILYINTA URE E YO RECOMM TURATEDFATSIF A E GOFS   CALORI ONA DIET

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4 B I OS P H E N O L A More and more, you’re seeing hard plastic bottles labeled “BPA Free.” What, exactly, is BPA, and how does it affect your body?

BPA RISK FAC TOR :

Th e Hard Tr uth:!N INDUSTRIALCHEMICALTHAT USED INCOMBINATIONWITHOTHER CHEMICALS CANPRODUCERIGID RESINSANDPLASTICS)TSMOST COMMONLYFOUNDINHARD PLASTICBOTTLESANDTHELININGS OFBEVERAGECANS

Co nta c t De ta ils : -OST OFUSAREEXPOSEDTO"0!VIA THEMOUTH ESPECIALLYWHEN YOUUSEPLASTICSTHATAREMADE WITHTHEMATERIAL

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The Na s ty E f f e c t s : "0! ISANENDOCRINEDISRUPTOR WHICHMEANSITCANMESSWITH YOURHORMONESINAWAYYOUR '&SMONTHLYhTHINGvNEVER COULD!MONGTHEEFFECTS IMPOTENCE PROBLEMSWITH EGGMATURATIONINFEMALES DISRUPTIONINBRAINFUNCTION ANDLEARNING ANDSOME ASSOCIATIONSWITHHEART DISEASEANDDIABETES

The Final Solution: 7HILETHEDANGERSOF"0!ARE STILLNOTSCIENTIlCALLYCONCLUSIVE ESPECIALLYGIVENTHATHUMANS CANRAPIDLYELIMINATE"0! MANUFACTURERSHAVEDECIDED TOPLAYITSAFEANDHAVEBEEN COMINGOUTWITH"0! FREE PRODUCTSSINCETHELASTDECADE

Scientific studies haven’t fully brought the hammer down yet on BPA—in fact, the US Food & Drug Administration says that “BPA is safe at the very low levels that occur in some foods”—but in any case, it’s easy to play it safe, thanks to increasing manufacturer awareness.

5 H O U S E H O L D C H E M I CAL S “One of the biggest no-nos for me is recycling drinking water containers to hold toxic household cleaners,” says Dr. Luchango. “Aside from intentional ingestions—that’s the biggest cause of poisoning.” A common household holds a surprising amount of poisonous liquids, so keep an eye out on these bottles.

BLEACH

PA I NT TH I N N E R

A c t i ve Ingre di e nt : S o di um hypo chl o ri t e 4HEBLEACHUNDERYOUR SINKISASTRONGBASE WHICHMAYNOTSOUNDAS SCARYASACIDS BUTISJUST ASDANGEROUS3WALLOWING CANCAUSEIRRITATION ABDOMINALPAIN BREATHING DISRUPTION BURNSONTHE ESOPHAGUS ORWORSE DELIRIUMANDCOMA

A c t i ve Ingre di e nt : Orga ni c s o l ve nt s )NHALINGORSWALLOWING SOLVENTSALSOFOUND INKEROSENE GASOLINE ALCOHOL PAINT GLUE AND FURNITUREPOLISH CAN CAUSEDIZZINESS NAUSEA ANDVOMITING4HEYALSO HAVEANARCOTICEFFECT WHICHEXPLAINSRUGBY BOYS

T D O N’ S I U T A D O W MENTIS RN E V O G E 4H TINGTHE YREGULA RFARAWAY TL N E S RE P )NOU ROBABLY WATUSI HUMBLE HILDHOODS WEP MORE C NDS NOSTALGIC ASHEDOURHA BINATION W M E O V SHOULD FROMAC ISMADE XICCHEMICALS I S TU A 7 LTO HIS OFSEVERA OSPHORUS WHIC H S P E G ID IN C D TI INCLU NINSEC I D E S U ALSO ILIZER ANDFERT

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facebo

stw

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C H E A P M E TA L POLISHER Active ingredient: Arsenic $R,UCHANGOWARNSTHAT IFYOUPURCHASEJEWELRY FROMDISREPUTABLESTORES THESTOREKEEPALSO THROWSINANINEXPENSIVE CLEANER!RSENICCAUSES HEADACHES DIARRHEA DROWSINESS CONVULSIONS ANDINEXTREMECASES DEATH

HOUSE HOLD CHE MICAL S RISK FAC TOR :

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It’s tempting to store cleaning materials under the sink, but if you’ve got kids, keep them out of harm’s way. And take Dr. Luchango’s advice: Never put poisonous materials into drinking containers, no matter how convenient recycling mineral water bottles can be. One small mistake could cost you someone’s life.

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UPGRADE

TH E

B U S I N E S S I N F R O N T, PA R T Y AT T H E B A C K W I T H T H E N I S S A N N AVA R A G T X

N I S S A N N AVA R A GTX

Even though the Navara GTX comes with 4x4, an engine with lots of grunt, and enough ground clearance to drive over your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, it’s still not our ideal choice for an off-road romp. Honestly, that would be an ATV, and the ability to go jumping off things, possibly while out of control. However, what the Navara GTX is great for is putting lots of stuff in the back—because nothing makes a real man feel more mannish than hauling shit around the place. And with the ample space available, there’s no need to play cargo-Tetris in the back when throwing the following essential things (on separate occasions) in there.

V ITA L S ENGINE 2.5L I4 turbocharged and intercooled direct injection diesel

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MA X I M U M O UT P U T 174hp@ 4,000rpm

MAXI M U M TO R Q U E 403Nm@ 2,000rpm

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T R AN S M I SS I O N

PR ICE

6-speed manual or 5-speed automatic

M/T: P1.478 million; A/T: P1.538 million

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6 O F YO U R B E ST F R I E N D S

TR U C K G N S T U F F IS IDEA

9 KE G S O F B E E R

You’ve got the advanced multimedia system to keep you company in the cab anyway. You can even plug a USB Wi-Fi stick into it and turn the Navara into the burliest wireless router ever.

That’s a lot more than the displacement of the Navara’s 2.5L turbocharged diesel motor, though we’d argue it’s just as potent as 30 liters of grog in knocking things down.

4 BALIK B AY

DOGS 5 BIG

W O R D S: A S H M A H I N AY; I L L U STR ATI O N S: S O N NY R A M I R EZ

A rugged bedliner comes stock, so no worries about your furry friends clawing your paint to shreds.

AN BOX ES

And you can spot anyone trying to steal your precious cargo with the handy reverse-assist camera—your Spam is safe with the Navara, bro.

A GR A TA I I L L A N D M L G AT E E B A R B AT F O R EQUE

A FO OT O F W AT ER

With a max loading capacity of a ton, that’s enough cow to give everybody the meat sweats.

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Lay down a tarp on it and you’ve got a mobile 4.8x4.9ft swimming pool!

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 125

UPGRADE

M N M L S TC

Swiss-made, and exclusively Rustan’s-peddled, Molami Plica’s bare, minimalist headphones make good on three things: 1. Craftsmanship seen in its Napa leather trimmings and gold/ copper accents; 2. Convenience in its removable, washable ear cushions and three-click micremote for picking up calls or moving on to the next song; 3. Clean cut sounds with deep bass resonated from its low distortion drivers. Bonus: Molami designers in Stockholm say they designed these geometrically to flatter the face. Aren’t you the handsome man. Score for: P4,9 5 0, Rust an’s

EAR BOSS

B A D V I B E S B U ST E R

On the box of the Fanny Wang 3000 is the rather kinky name “Over Ear Wangs.” Now while we can only speculate what having wangs over your ears feel like, listening to these headphones is definitely a pleasure. Their Active Noise Cancelling filters out everyday noise (up to 20dB) but doesn’t make you totally oblivious to people talking and such. Flick the switch up another notch to Bass Boost mode and you get thumping lows that you don’t usually expect from a pair of head cans. Its last trick is a DuoJack–a built-in line splitter so you can DP an audio source with a friend. Fun! Score for: P15,72 0, Complink, Astroplus, Astrovision and more

MUSIC T

To demonstrate the noisecanceling power of this bad boy, an FHM staffer put on the JBL Synchros S300, blasted out some Weezer tunes and sang along, naturally resulting in what seemed like a free-for-all name calling that was visually clear, but fell deaf on JBL’d ears— and the volume wasn’t even on full blast. Aside from nesting you inside a sound bubble, a volume control feature on the wire also makes it convenient to manipulate sound. Its bulky-butportable lightweight design is a comfortable fit for headphones of its size and make, and hey, it’s JBL. Score for: About P12,000

OUR

YO U R AU R A L R E Q U I R E M E N T B OX E S T I C K E D , A N D M O R E … 126 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

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AND IN COLORCODED RELEASES

SUPER SONIC

F R O M TH E M A K E R S O F N E X U S 7… Comes another 7-incher HD tab cobbled by Asus. Just to get one thing out of the way: yes, the Memo Pad 7HD is a budget tablet—but you couldn’t tell why they aren’t asking for more of your money from looking at its shimmering clear display (1280x800 IPS at 216 PPI), long battery life (up to 10 hours while doing stuff), fits-more-than-onepersonality paint job (comes in black, white, gray, pink and green), and sociable multitasking insides (Quad Core, 5MP cameras, 10-point multi-touch, pre-loaded with Android apps). Comes with a cradle stand and expandable micro SD storage, too. Score for: P6.9 9 5 (8G B), P8,9 9 5 (16G B)

You have two options in what looks like a normal-looking speaker slab: 1. Hitch it wirelessly (via Bluetooth) to your iPod and other mobile device, or 2. Park it snugly below your flatscreen, or above it (mounts easily). Although the JBL SB200 only has three input options (optical, auxiliary, and Bluetooth), you shouldn’t really need more, as it isn’t meant to be a full-blown audio system but an extension of your TV—designed to boost your flat screen’s sound quality effortlessly, which it does extremely well. Basic controls can be twiddled with via the unit itself, or through the remote control. Different modes also simulate a surround sound setup or add bass to the output, but you don’t need to mess with the default settings as much as it already delivers a decent mix out of the box. Score for: P17,9 9 0

W H O YO U C A L L I N G M I N I ? The five-inch waterproof Xperia Z1 already seem to have hit a form of smartphone sweet spot, so why release a 4.3inch miniature version of it in the Xperia Z1 Compact? Probably because some of us want our smartphones pocket-small, but mostly because we think Sony just likes to show off. And with good reason: The Z1 Compact is what they call “the first non-compromised compact smartphone,” meaning it’s teenier than other smartphones, but it doesn’t scrimp on specs and hardware despite it’s pint-sized build. Waterproof and dustresistant like the Z1, with a 20.7 MP camera, 2MP front-facing cam, and 16GB of onbo rd storage. Score for: TB A

EARS WORDS: ASH MAHINAY, ANTON UMALI, AEUS REYES

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FEBRUARY 2014 FH M 127

TRUE STORIES H U M I LIATI ON, LAU G HTE R , AN D M OR E H U M I LI ATI ON T H E H I G H S AN D L OWS O F DAT I N G I went to Boracay to spend summer with the girl I was dating. It was her first time in Boracay so we decided to try all the beach activities, including parasailing. Apparently, she was also afraid of heights. Halfway through our lift, she told me she was already feeling dizzy. But we were too high to tell the operator to bring us down. I could tell she wasn’t feeling well because she turned pale. When we reached the highest point, the wind started blowing hard and cold. My date threw up just as the wind blew my direction. The boat and sail operator was surprised to see me smothered in suka when we got back down. Andrew_peez, by email

ILLUSTRATION: GILBERT DAROY; LHEA BERNARDINO’S PHOTO: JERICO MONTEMAYOR

Q U OTA B L E C OAC H Playing for the basketball team of my high school was one of the highlights of my teenage years. I really enjoyed developing my love and skill for the sport, plus I got a family in my coach and my teammates. We hit rock bottom when we lost in a big league’s championship, and our coach tried his best to make us feel better. His quotable line? “Matuto tayong tanggapin ang pagkatalo. Malay niyo, isa itong blessing in the skies.” Up to this day, I have lived by that code… and laughed about it, too. Nino dela Cruz, by email

W H E N I N T H E DAR K I’ll never forget this one time I watched a movie with my barkada. In the middle of the movie, I had to go to the bathroom to take a piss. Of course it was dark in the cinema, so I tried my hardest to make it back to my seat. 128 FH M FEBRUARY 2014

When I found my way to my seat I asked, “Ano na nangyari, pre?” Then I realized I was sitting beside an old woman who was a complete stranger. My original seat was two rows ahead. Jeron Co, by email

TRUE

Lhea Bernardino I used to go to computer shops back in college to have my school papers printed. One late night, I asked two of my cousins to go along with me so I would have company walking home. One of my cousins had my paper printed, while my other cousin and I snuck behind the computer shop to hide. When we were about to blurt “Bulaga!”, I didn’t notice that there was a hole just beside me, so I slipped and got stuck in the hole. Both my cousins laughed at me, and we had to ride a tricycle going home. The joke was clearly on me.

T U R N I N G N OT-S O JAPAN E S E My boss at my new work invited me to a lunch meeting at a Japanese restaurant. It was my first time to dine in such a fancy restaurant, so I acted cool and pretended I knew what I wanted. I ordered edamame (Japanese green beans) for appetizer. I casually chewed on the whole pod, and downed it with the beans. Into my fifth pod, my boss asked, “Kinakain mo lahat?” Then I realized that I should’ve only eaten the beans inside. Marvic, by email facebook.com/FHM.ph s

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