ENHANCED ERPAT MANUAL

Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT)

MANUAL

Social Technology Bureau Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) 2013

Table of Contents Message

…………………………………………….i

Foreword

…………………………………………...iii

Introduction Chapter 1

:

An Overview of ERPAT ………………....

Chapter 2

:

The Field Office Technical Staff ……….

Chapter 3

:

The LGU Implementers ………………...

Chapter 4

:

The Father Leaders ……………………..

Chapter 5

:

Conducting the ERPAT Modules ………

Module I:

Understanding Myself` as a Person …….

Module II:

Accepting Your Role as a Father ……….

Module III:

Becoming Your Wife’s Bestfriend ……..

Module IV:

Fathers as Child Caregivers …………….

Module V:

Promoting Family Spirituality ………….

Module VI:

Fathers as Advocate in the Promotion of Peace in the Family ...………………..

Module VII:

Fathers as Advocate in Promoting a Drug-Free Home ………………………..

Module VIII:

Fathers as Advocate in the Prevention of HIV-AIDS …………………………...

Module IX:

Fathers as Advocate in Promoting Positive Discipline……………………..

Appendices

.................................................................

References

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Message The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) recognizes the significant role of fathers in child care and contribution to familial tasks. Fathers should be viewed not only as providers but also as active partners in child rearing. If their nurturing capabilities are harnessed and strengthened, we are certain that they will contribute favorably in promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of their children. To realize this, the Manual on Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT) was developed as a strategy to provide a venue where fathers’ capabilities will be maximized to enable them to meet the challenges of active parenting. Likewise, the ERPAT Manual was enhanced to clarify the roles and responsibilities of technical staff in the field offices, local government unit (LGU) implementers and father leaders in the optimism that this will be effectively implemented at the local level. Further, the inclusion of positive discipline as additional module is another valuable input in the enhanced manual to encourage parents to practice non-violent ways of disciplining children. To this end, I would like to extend the Department’s warm appreciation for the continued efforts of the LGU implementers and their local counterparts who continue to be committed to the pursuit of building quality family lives through the implementation of the ERPAT Manual in their respective localities. Their sharing of experiences in the implementation of the previous manual has contributed in the enhancement and development of this new one. I would also like to acknowledge our technical staff for sharing their expertise for the completion of this manual - your passion and hope of having more effective and responsible fathers will no doubt, contribute to building stable and nurturing Filipino families.

FOREWORD Parenting is an opportunity for every person to take on the challenges of raising children. However, while mothers are regarded as loving, supportive and devoted to their children, fathers are seen to be too preoccupied with their role and responsibility in providing financial support for their family that oftentimes, they do not take an active part in childrearing. Fathers are also seen as stricter than mothers, for they are expected to take on the task of disciplining their children and shaping them to become responsible, dependable adults. While this may hold true to some, this does not mean that all fathers are incapable of showing their love, concern and affection for their children. Fathers can and do actively share parenting responsibility with their spouses through different ways – by playing with their children, listening to their problems, helping them with their assignments and the like – proving that they are capable of providing more than just financial support to their families. It is then highly encouraged that the childrearing skills of both parents should complement and be at par with each other to ensure their children’s optimal growth and development. Thus, in order to strengthen the role and capacity of fathers as key partners in child survival, development, protection and participation, the Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT) is developed. The ERPAT strategy gives importance to the responsibilities of a father in the family. It also highlights the prominence of the father’s irrefutable role in childrearing. The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) has enhanced the ERPAT Manual to ensure that the Field Office Staff, Local Government Unit Implementers, and Father Leaders are guided accordingly, leading to a convergence of efforts in the implementation of ERPAT. This Manual contains specific guides, strategies, approaches and modules for the conduct of community-based sessions for sustaining ERPAT. With this, we hope that the ERPAT father will appreciate and recognize his vital roles in the family as a responsible co-parent with his wife and a loving nurturer to his children.

INTRODUCTION

Dear ERPAT Stakeholder;

Welcome to the most exciting but often times not-so-easy world of FATHERING!

In a country like ours, fathers are almost always the ‘hardest–to–reach’ both inside and outside the home – when it comes to childcare and development. Tatay (Tagalog for father), however, is not at fault here. In a lot of cases, he simply does not know how. Society’s predefined role for the “man-of-the-house” dictates that he just has to bring-home-the-bacon and win the bread. Beyond these, most fathers are left clueless as to what to do to be more effective and responsive parents. Effective and responsive fathering refers to how a father performs his parental roles and responsibilities to his family, most especially to his children. It also refers to the kind of relationships he maintains with each member of his family; and with this relationships, how he is able to encourage the family to perform each one’s roles and functions. Such is the intention of Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities or more popularly known now in many parts of the country as ERPAT.

If you are: 1.)

A DSWD Field Office Technical Staff;

2.)

A Program Implementer (most likely a social worker who works with local government; or even a non-government organization); or

3.)

A Father-volunteer (someone taking time out to help other fathers like you to better themselves);

Then, this manual was written with you in mind!

Thank you! Whoever you may be, we’re very sure that your interest to use this manual is enough reason to thank you for answering the call to reach out to fathers who, in their otherwise quiet and passive stance in the family, have long been wanting to be actively involved in their family’s everyday lives more than ‘just providing’.

About ERPAT (The Manual) This manual is a synthesis of many years of experience since ERPAT was first conceived in 1995. It attempts to capture what hundreds of fathers in the Philippines have experienced especially designed for them and share them all with you. To enhance the manual further, ERPAT experiences in many regions were assessed through a writeshop organized by the Social Technology Bureau and participated in by DSWD field office technical staff. For three days the participants labored to enhance the manual first published in 2004. The writeshop participants:   

Shared their personal and professional experiences in implementing ERPAT; Exchanged success stories of fathers who underwent the ERPAT experiences; and, Wrote additional contents for the enhanced manual

The enhanced manual thus offer a wider timeline, which includes the tasks of the three main users / readers namely; the (1) field office technical staff, (2) the Local Government Unit/implementer or NGO volunteer and the (3) father–leader.

Objectives of the Manual This manual aims to help the reader / user to initiate and sustain ERPAT at all levels. Specifically, this manual aims to provide you: a) An adequate background information and materials on ERPAT as a strategy, as a service and as an organization; b) A ready-to-use set of training modules for your ERPAT sessions: and c) A basic resource information that you may access in the course of program implementation.

d) Inside the Manual This Manual contains a total of five (5) interdependent parts.  Chapter one gives you an overview of ERPAT;  Chapter two provides information on how to go about introducing ERPAT to the LGUs;  Chapter three gives you a step-by-step procedure in implementing ERPAT specific to the LGU implementer;  Chapter four defines roles and functions of ERPAT volunteers, leaders and other stakeholders; and,  Chapter five takes you to the ERPAT training modules.

How to use the Manual Using this manual should be easy for you. All it takes is for you to: Read when you see this icon Write when you see this icon, and  Do when you see this icon From time to time, you will also encounter (instruction notes in parenthesis like this one) that tells you to either copy or photocopy a page or document, and will see shaded boxes  that contain more information in the form of stories and anecdotes. At this point we’re very sure that you’re about to begin your journey. So again welcome to exciting world of fathering, and we hope that you enjoy using this manual.

Chapter One: An Overview of ERPAT Looking back the ERPAT Timeline:  1995 

The then Bureau of Family and Community Welfare conceptualized a Parent Effectiveness Session especially designed for fathers.



This strategy was called Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities Training (ERPAT).

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ERPAT was developed to address the problem of fathers’ nonattendance to the Parent Effectiveness Service (PES) sessions.



The first ones to benefit from ERPAT were DSWD male employees.

1999 

The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) underwent a repositioning.



The then Programs and Project Bureau took ERPAT as a core service for fathers, enriching it by going beyond the initial intent.

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Under the PPB, ERPAT addressed the increased incidence of domestic violence, gender role issues and father’s inadequate parenting capability.

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PPB pilot–tested ERPAT in three (3) regions namely, Regions X, VI and V (specifically the cities of Gingoog, Kabankalan and Legazpi.

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ERPAT was implemented within the Family Life Resource Centers and in selected communities.

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The first group of ERPAT father-leaders and volunteers were organized.

2002 

A writeshop among the academe, faith-based groups, NGOs, GOs, and POs enhanced ERPAT’s content.



In a Regional Parent Education Congress, further inputs for ERPAT materialized given that the Congress’ theme included ‘the important role of fathers in securing a drug-free home.

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These series of revisions brought about eight basic training modules.

2008 

LGU Implementers and father-leaders from the Visayas and Mindanao Clusters participated in a trainers’ training.



The participants from this training committed to implement ERPAT in their respective regions and provinces. The participants also planned and agreed to hold an assessment on the implementation of ERPAT towards the end of the same year.

2009 

The Social Technology Bureau conducted a quick survey to assess the ERPAT experience; yielding the following findings: -

Of the 17 regions nationwide, 11 regions implemented the ERPAT service to 36% of the provinces in the country composed of 66 cities and municipalities.

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A total of 363 ERPAT trainings conducted in 475 barangays benefited a total of 8,401 fathers.

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More than half of the fathers trained came from Region VI equivalent to 56% of the participants followed by Region IX and Region X at 19% and 15%, respectively.

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The ERPAT trainings conducted resulted to the organization of 359 ERPAT associations nationwide with a total of 8,777 individual members.



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32% of ERPAT organizations are active with commitment, sustained interest and active participation of father-leaders and members as the main reasons cited

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Region IX conducted ERPAT for 38 batches and sustained 35 of them as associations attributed to their regular conduct of meetings and formulation of organizational thrust and directions.

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Support services are very important in sustaining the operation of the ERPAT organization.

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Almost 80% of the ERPAT organizations are aware of their role as fathers through the conduct of awareness and information campaign.

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Technical Assistance from the Field Office is a necessary factor to ensure ERPAT success.

The STB organized a writeshop among field office technical staff members to enhance the ERPAT manual

ERPAT: The Basic Information

ERPAT is the word “PATER” pronounced backwards! A colloquial term coined by the sons and daughters of the 60’s which gained popularity through the 70’s, ERPAT was and is commonly used by children particularly the teenagers - to mean an easy-toapproach father, in a peer-to-peer relationship as members of the family; and one who is not frightening but instead considered as a peer-friend. ERPAT or Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities aims to engage fathers to become effective and responsive. It gives importance and emphasis on fathers’ paternal roles, responsibilities and abilities. It aims to achieve shared parenting tasks in the performance of familial responsibilities. Simply put, a father’s role transcends from a mere “provider”, to one who shares parenting that includes providing care, attention and affection to each member of his family. ERPAT focuses on how this person carries himself as a father performing multiple roles as his child’s teacher and caregiver, his wife’s husband and a friend to everyone in his household. ERPAT also gives emphasis on eliminating traditional gender roles manifested in the proliferation of the “macho” image of men as seen and observed in the norms, expectations and behavior patterns of Filipino males. ERPAT aims to help fathers achieve a broader and fairer definition of gender roles, while understanding of one’s self as a nurturing and caring individual both for his children and spouse.

 ERPAT stands for

ERPAT RATIONALE Like in any development program, project, service, activity and/or strategy, ERPAT stands on the firm conviction that fathers DO need help to be able to perform their roles and responsibilities. Further, there is a need to strengthen and maximize their capacities to become effective and efficient advocates in the elimination of violence against women and children. The following are ERPAT’s rationale statements, which of these statements are also true to you? (Please check) ____

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____ ____

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Parenting, particularly care-giving, is assumed more as a feminine activity. Fathers are rarely given basic information and are never trained to perform a caring role in the family. Fathers most often serve as a shadow-figure in the family, difficult to understand and rarely attend to, or provide care and nurturance for their children. Familial responsibilities of fathers are increasing as women become more active in the labor force. Fathers are no longer confined to perform the role of a “breadwinner” in the family. Present realities demand greater quality time of fathers to share child-rearing tasks due to changing family life situations. Men’s active involvement in family concerns are primarily hindered by lack of a close and stable relationship of fathers with their children. This is deepened by lack of/or inadequate knowledge and skills on child rearing and other familial tasks. Fathering skills do not come naturally; like most life skills, they can be learned. It requires discipline and commitment to the family. Traditional gender role differentiation still persists as manifested through the proliferation of the “macho” image of men; Hence, there is a need for real consciousness for fathers to become more gender sensitive and participatory in performing familial tasks and responsibilities and become a nurturing and caring individual both for their children and spouses.

LEGAL BASES

Now let’s take a look at the Legal Bases with which ERPAT is founded. You might need to get a copy of these documents and review them yourself. International Instrument 1. The Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) The CRC, an international instrument ratified in 1990 by the Philippines, sets minimum standards for state parties to ensure the promotion and protection of the rights of children. National Laws 1. 1987 Philippine Constitution The State recognizes the sanctity of the family life and shall protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social institution. It shall equally promote the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from its conception (Article 2, Section I). The State recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the nation. Accordingly, it shall strengthen its solidarity and actively promote its total development. (Article XV, Section I). 2. The Family Code of the Philippines The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support (Article 68). The management of the household shall be the right and duty of both spouses (Article 71). 3. The Child and Youth Welfare Code (PD 603) Joint Parental Authority – The father and mother shall exercise jointly just and reasonable parental authority and responsibility over their legitimate or adopted children. (Chapter I - -Article 17) 4. The Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act or RA 9262 – A state shall exert efforts to address violence committed against women and children in keeping with the fundamental freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution and the Provisions of

the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) and other international human instruments of which the Philippines is a party. SEC. 2.Declaration of Policy. 5. Special Protection of Children Against Child Abuse, Exploitation and Discrimination Act or RA 7610 - It is hereby declared by the policy of the State to provide special protection to children from all forms of abuse, neglect, cruelty, exploitation and discrimination and other conditions, prejudicial to their development; provide sanctions for their commission and carry out program for prevention and deterrence of and crisis interventions in situations of child abuse, exploitation and discrimination. The state shall intervene in behalf of the child when the parent, guardian, teacher or person having care and custody of the child fails or is unable to protect the child against abuse, exploitation and discrimination or when such acts against the child are committed by the parent, guardian, teacher or person, having care and custody of the same. SEC. 2. Declaration of Policy. 6. Family Courts Act of 1997- The State shall protect the rights and promote the welfare of children in keeping with the mandate of the Constitution and the precepts of the United Nations Convention on the rights of the Child. The State shall provide a system of adjudication for youthful offenders which take into account their peculiar circumstances.

Things you need to know about ERPAT: What is ERPAT? ERPAT can be a lot of things for those who are involved: 

ERPAT is a service that gives importance and emphasis on the development and enrichment of knowledge, attitudes and skills of fathers in performing their paternal roles and responsibilities.



It involves the conduct of community-based sessions for fathers; training of; and organization of father–leaders and volunteers in the community to facilitate collective action and participation in promoting the important role of fathers to the family. 

ERPAT also serves as one of the interventions of the Parent Effectiveness Services (PES) because it sees the significant roles of fathers in all aspects of child rearing and caring.

What are ERPAT’s objectives? General: To enhance and strengthen parenting capabilities of Filipino fathers in performing their tasks and responsibilities. Specific: 1. To empower fathers by developing a positive concept of self. 2. To develop and enhance the father’s attitudes, knowledge and skills on Early Childhood Care and Development; preparing and equipping adolescent children in handling and meeting adult roles and responsibilities; and raising children with spiritual values.

3. To help fathers develop gender sensitivity and appreciation of partnership with their spouses in promoting and enhancing family life by: a. Enhancing and strengthening a positive and satisfying marital relationship; b. Preventing violence in the home; c. Promoting shared parenthood and planned family size. 4. To establish support networks among fathers in the community and enhance their active participation and involvement especially in establishing a drug-free family; understanding and preventing HIV-AIDS; and all forms of violence in the family. Who are ERPAT’s Target Beneficiaries? All males who need better knowledge, attitudes and skills on fathering, who are unable to cope with familial responsibilities and who fall under the following categories: 1. Generally fathers 2. Biological Fathers (including but not limited to)  Solo father  Returning migrant/OFWs  Released prisoners  Persons with disabilities 3. Adoptive Father 4. Newly wed husbands 5. Organized father groups i.e., faith based organizations 6. Surrogate Fathers (including but not limited to)  Foster father  Guardian  Caregiver

Who benefits from ERPAT? Aside from the fathers, families and communities benefit from ERPAT. Who implements ERPAT? The Local Social Welfare and Development Office (LSWDO) are the direct implementers of ERPAT. Meanwhile, the DSWD through its

field offices provide technical support to the LSWDO. Lastly, fatherleaders are the main actors in community level ERPAT implementation. Where do funds for ERPAT come from? The Local Government Units (LGUs) fund the implementation of ERPAT. However, funding support can be tapped from other agencies. Who monitors the ERPAT implementation? The DSWD Field Office shall monitor the service implementation. What are ERPAT’s service components? 1. Advocacy and Social Mobilization This involves the conduct of advocacy and social mobilization activities in securing support and awareness in the implementation of ERPAT in the community. Public awareness and information campaigns shall convey basic messages that promote the important role of Filipino fathers in instilling and fostering love, respect, discipline, industry and care for the family. Indigenous form of media can be utilized to advocate support in the promotion and implementation of ERPAT at the community using local talents and resources. 2. Organization and Strengthening of Father’s Associations This involves the formation of ERPAT core groups composed of leaders at the barangay level who will facilitate the organization of ERPAT. The organized structures shall serve as venues for collective action and participation founded on the principles of cooperation, trust and good communication and commitment to the promotion of the important roles of fathers in the family and in promoting the social well-being of families as a whole. 3. Capability Building / Training This involves training and capability-building activities for two (2) sets of implementers: (1) The ERPAT members - or members of the ERPAT associations/groups, father leaders and volunteers who are directly trained primarily to enhance their paternal roles and responsibilities; and to sustain the ERPAT service in the community.

(2) LGU Workers/Implementers – or the service providers and implementers who are trained to ensure effective and efficient service implementation and management. The basic courses include community volunteers’ development, participatory leadership, peer counseling, organization building and project development and sustainability. Experiential learning activities are also conducted to put substance and deepen the formal training provided to the ERPAT implementers and volunteers. 4. Networking and Alliance Building This involves resource generation and mobilization to achieve the thrusts of networking and alliance building among agencies and father groups as the most important indicators of successful community organization. Networking facilitates sharing of knowledge, skills and resources among people and organizations in the community. Fatherleaders and volunteers and/or father associations are mobilized to generate resources to sustain implementation of ERPAT in the community. This includes family welfare serving agencies and child caring/placing agencies as well as the LGUs and POs in the target areas. Efforts to converge the resources and services of different welfare agencies operating within the area are pursued to ensure optimal use of resources for ERPAT. ERPATS VISION: ERPAT envisions responsible Filipino fathers who are committed, disciplined, knowledgeable, and are highly appreciative in carrying out effective paternal roles and responsibilities ERPAT MISSION: To work with fathers and their families in the community helping them to: 1. Appreciate their roles in the family 2. Improve performance of paternal tasks, and 3. Access support services and activities that will help them achieve a united, productive and stable family. To form ERPAT associations at the barangay level; federations at the municipal/city, provincial and national levels and gain representations in local councils

Chapter Two: THE FIELD OFFICE TECHNICAL STAFF (Initiating, Managing and Sustaining ERPAT)  ERPAT was introduced by the DSWD through its Field Offices. The Field Office technical staff performs a number of tasks that will ensure ERPAT’s success. As in many other national programmes, projects, services, or activities, the FO generally: • • • • •

Provides technical assistance and resource augmentation; Prepares and does social marketing activities for a specific programme, project, service or activity; Build networks and alliances; Generate and manage data; and Write reports

Let us now take a closer look at the things the FO staff must do: 1. Secure, consolidate, analyze and interpret data of family situations at the regional level and segregate these by province. Find out and build: 1.1 The over-all situation of families, you may acquire these from the local planning offices; 1.2 The magnitude of / incidences of domestic violence in the community, you may acquire these from the local social welfare and development office and the local police entity; 1.3 The magnitude of / incidence of other macro issues, i.e., drug use and abuse, HIV and AIDS, teenage pregnancy. ECCD – PES attendance by fathers, etc. TIPS:  engage academe and / or local research institutes  utilize area based research from and by local NGOs  mobilize partner POs

2. Develop or craft simple communication materials which you will use to present the data that you have gathered per province or per city/municipality; among these materials include:

2.1 PowerPoint presentation or flip chart; 2.2 Fact Sheets or leaflets per municipality or province. TIPS:  Keep your presentations accurate, brief and concise  Always support your data with statistics that are easily understood

3. Also make ready a generic ERPAT orientation acquired from the DSWD-STB. 4. Once done, begin your ground work by engaging significant members of the local councils and local chief executives by initiating courtesy calls i.e., the committee chairpersons for Family; as well as the Budget and Planning Officers. When necessary write SB sponsors to include ERPAT Orientation in the agenda of the SB regular session. 5. Request for and arrange an agreed convenient date for presentation. 6. Present your data as well as the ERPAT concept covering: a) b) c) d)

ERPAT Vision and Mission Roles and functions of the MSWDO on ERPAT implementation Activities related to ERPAT implementation Benefits of having ERPAT

Impact to Individual Father

Impact to Families

Enhance awareness on their roles as fathers and become responsible parents

Close family relationship developed/improved and are more comfortable and open to each other

Father's self-esteem and capacities developed through attending series of training and seminar

Improved skills on parenting and become role model of the family

Impact to Individual Father Fathers spent more time with the family and learned to be patient and control their temper Fathers are more comfortable and able to express their ideas and affection to their wife after attending the session

Impact to Families Household chores are already shared between husband and wife

Fathers become God-fearing and God-loving

High respect of children towards their fathers

Increased awareness on gender sensitivity issues and minimized or eliminated domestic violence

Fathers gained more knowledge Learned to understand the and a changed perception that nature/characteristics of wife as a fathers do not have the monopoly woman of knowledge Fathers understood the stages of development of their children Impact to Communities Improved relationship with members of the community by gaining friends with lesser conflict Role model in the community and actively participate in community activities Acted as resource person during training Law abiding citizens Residents realized the importance of community activities Lessen number of reported cases of domestic violence in the area and decrease vices among fathers Peer counseling to members of the group Peaceful community Gained respect from the community Fathers became advocates in the prevention of family violence Gambling is minimized and regulated Income generating activities and projects continue to exist and are sustained

7. When necessary, craft a Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) between the Field Office representing the DSWD and the Local Government expressing the LGU’s commitment to adopt ERPAT as a service and defining the technical assistance and roles of the DSWD through the FO; 8. Organize and conduct a region / province–wide ERPAT training of trainers among LGU implementers and Father Leaders; 9. Provide post training technical assistance to provinces and / or municipalities as resource person, in the areas of: 9.1 Training management & facilitation 9.2 Tips on community volunteer resource mobilization 9.3 Sustainability Planning 10. Conduct monitoring visits, periodic monitoring assessment surveys through the use of standard monitoring tool and annual assessment meetings with LGU and father leaders; 11. Generate periodic (quarterly) reports for the DSWD central office. TIPS:  Organize ahead of time  Ensure that all logistics (financial, human, material resources) you need are available

Here are some more ideas for the Field Office Technical Staff: 1. Regularly hone your skills in social marketing, advocacy and networking – ERPAT’s success is about making the issues (in this case parenting unique to fathers and the need to address domestic violence) you raise be felt and owned by the people themselves; 2. Practice your facilitating skills – remember that you are the primary trainer if not the training manager of the people who will implement ERPAT. Keep in mind a teaching theory that goes “one teaches the way he/she was taught”. How you will deliver the messages contained in ERPAT will reflect on how well they will be able to implement it at the local level 3. Update yourself with current issues – keep abreast with local and national issues that are directly or indirectly related to ERPAT (father-centered issues). Among these are domestic violence, absentee fathers and the social cost of labor migration, child protection and development. 4. Familiarize yourself with new laws and issuances – read and be familiar with national and local policies that can help you in understanding current protection issues; 5. Make sure that you understand the processes with which ERPAT is implemented at the LGU level - it is best therefore to read through the proceeding chapters on ERPAT implementation 6. Value your partnerships with LGU implementers, Local Chief Executives and Father Leaders – get to know them and add a personal touch with your partners in the provinces and municipalities. Remember their birthdays and send them greeting cards, track their achievements and send them congratulatory notes, etc. 7. Organize (when logistics permit) and participate in other auxiliary activities - keep in mind family day celebrations, nutrition month, children’s month, mothers and father’s day, adoption week, etc. these are good opportunities to engage local government partners in ERPAT issues 8. Involve the NGOs – they may have other resources which you can use for ERPAT;

9. Keep disciplined schedules – do remember that LGUs have other activities aside from ERPAT, keeping a disciplined schedule for activities like training, meetings, monitoring visits as agreed will make it easier for them. 10. Always bear in mind you and your partners’ definitive roles and functions but be flexible as well: The Stakeholders Functions ERPAT has four (4) main groups of stakeholders, namely the ERPAT father volunteers/leaders; the local government units; NGOs, civic and private groups; and the DSWD Central Office together with the DSWD Field Offices. Each group has specific functions, thus; A. Functions of ERPAT Fathers and Volunteers/Leaders 1. Recruit fathers in the barangay to join ERPAT Association; 2. Organize the ERPAT Association under the direct supervision of the LGU social worker; 3. Assist the LGU trained social workers in the conduct of ERPAT Sessions in the Barangay; 4. Assist the LGU social workers in the conduct of ERPAT training and other related activities; 5. Assist the ERPAT Associations in Management and Monitoring of group projects and activities; 6. Submit report to LGU Social Workers of ERPAT Association Accomplishment and Group Roster Forms. B. The Role/ Functions of Local Government Units 1. Implement and supervise the project; 2. Provide administrative fund support in the implementation of project; 3. Facilitate organization of ERPAT Associations; 4. Supervise activities of ERPAT Association, e.g. planning and implementation of support activities in the community; 5. Conduct training for ERPAT volunteers and leaders; 6. Provide technical assistance and supervision to members and offices of ERPAT associations; 7. Identify/access resources for the provision of social services to ERPAT family members; 8. Develop and maintain linkages with NGOs, GOs and other stakeholders;

9. Support public awareness raising/regional concerning overall goals and thrust ERPAT; 10. Conduct of monitoring and evaluation using the standard monitoring tool. 11. Prepare quarterly status reports to DSWD Field Offices; C. Other Stakeholders (NGOs/Church/Academe/Civic Groups/Associations) 1. Acts as resource person; 2. Provides referral services; 3. Provides fund augmentation and access to resources; 4. Conducts trainings on ERPAT session and skills enhancement activities; 5. Assists MSWDO/CSWDO in identification/recruitment of ERPAT participants; 6. Participates in service review and enrichment/development. D. The Role/Functions of DSWD Central Office 1. Prepares guidelines and other program materials for the service; 2. Oversees the overall implementation of service; 3. Allocates funds for the implementation of the service; 4. Monitors, evaluates and provides technical assistance to the DSWD Field Offices 5. Conducts orientation/demonstration of the project to LGUs implementers; 6. Consolidates and analyses reports submitted by the regions; 7. Prepares quarterly reports and update of the service; 8. Conducts documentation and research of the service; 9. Conduct of annual program review and evaluation workshop. E. The Roles / Functions of DSWD Field Office 1. Conducts consultation with LGUs to determine their interest, readiness, commitment and capability to implement the service; 2. Assists in the orientation of LGU implementers; 3. Monitors and provides technical assistance to LGU implementers; 4. Develops and maintains linkages with LGUs, NGOs and other national government agencies in the area relative to service implementation; 5. Assists in the evaluation research and documentation of the service; 6. Ensures judicious disbursement of funds; 7. Prepares and submits a quarterly report to the DSWD –Central Office;

8. Forge a MOA to gain the support and commitment of LGUs to adopt ERPAT as a service and define the roles of DSWD Field Office

Chapter Three: THE LGU IMPLEMENTERS (Initiating, Managing and Sustaining ERPAT)  The success of ERPAT depends on two important factors. It includes (1) the active involvement of fathers themselves in the community and a (2) strong support from the Barangay or local officials as well as other existing groups in the community. Here’s a step-by-step guide for you (The LGU implementer) to follow when preparing to implement ERPAT: A. Coordinate with Barangay Council and other Key Leaders Coordinate with your Barangay Officials to elicit commitment and support of the Barangay Council as well as clarify the functions and types of support you expect from them in implementing ERPAT. B. Identify and Recruit your target participants (fathers) This involves identification of priority target beneficiaries at the community level through home visits and referrals by both LGUs and non-government organizations (NGOs) or groups in the locality. Among those you can initially engage with are: 1. Fathers who are members of the Day Care Service Parents Groups (DCSPG) 2. Neighborhood Parent Effectiveness Assembly (NPEA) 3. Supplemental Feeding Parents Group (SFPG) 4. Husbands of women who are involved and / or are beneficiaries of programs for women ; 5. Members of the Barangay Council for the Protection of Children and the Barangay Council 6. Fathers who are members of Men Support Groups (MSG). 7. Fathers who are members of Men Oppose to Violence Against Women Everywhere (MOVE). Make your list now: ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________

Aside from the above, you must also consider fathers of families at risks. To identify them you may need to refer to the following indicators;

YOUR 3-HOUR SESSION GUIDE: 1 hour Opening Amenities  Prayer  Welcome Remarks  Introduction of Participants  Group Dynamic  Expectation Setting 1 hour ERPAT Background/Orientation  History  Rationale  Objectives  Approaches/Strategies  Expected Output by the group 1 hour Brainstorming on present situation of Fathers  Problems, fears, threats and challenges, myths and beliefs of Filipino fathers.  Take note of their ideas and write them on the board or Manila paper. Highlight commonalities and differences of their responses and link them to the importance of having an ERPAT project in their Barangay.

1. Families with reported cases of abuse 2. Families whose members are with poor health/nutrition 3. Families whose children are out-of-school 4. Families whose heads exhibit inappropriate behavior models of family such as substance use and abuse, and 5. Families with solo male parent

Make your list now: __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

C.

Conduct an Orientation on ERPAT Conduct an orientation session based on the time and place preferred by the father volunteers. Inform them of the objectives so that they will know what to expect. Seek their commitments by visiting them in their homes. In conducting an orientation meeting for ERPAT, you need to establish rapport, camaraderie and friendship among fathers and key leaders that you have invited. Focus your orientation meeting on the background, rationale, objectives, approaches, and strategies of ERPAT. You may need to use group dynamics and games to animate this session. This meeting also includes brainstorming on the present situations of Filipino fathers. Inset is a three-(3) hour orientation session guide for you.

D.

Organize a Core Group of Fathers Once you have identified and oriented your “target fathers”, engage them to organize a core group composed of 20-25 individuals. They should be those who are concerned and capable of assisting and / or initiating ERPAT activities in the community. Also remember to coordinate with the Barangay Council asking them to lend support by having a representative who can help organize the core group. You might need to begin by engaging other “informal father leaders” in the Barangay coming from different sectors such as church, schools and other organizations in the Barangay.

 Make your list now:

E.

Set a Final Schedule for the ERPAT Community-Based Sessions Secure fathers’ commitment during your orientation session and engage them to agree on a specific schedule for the conduct of ERPAT session. Together with the core group of fathers, prepare for the ERPAT training. Here’s a checklist that you and the core group can use as task guide:

 Who do you think can…? Arrange the venue and its physical set-up ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Follow-up invitation and participation of father-participants ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Prepare training materials e.g. visual support and workshop materials ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Arrange food (depending on the availability of funds) ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Identify and mobilize resources and logistics ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Organize and invite your pool of speakers from the trained father leaders with the MSWDO or LGU worker ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________

F.

Conduct the ERPAT Sessions At this stage, you and the other father-trainers can devise your own teaching methodologies and materials. However do maintain the core messages for each of the session. The modules and session guides are found in Chapter Five.

G.

Conduct and Organizational Planning Workshop After completing the ERPAT training sessions, you can now identify more potential leaders that will expand your initial core group of ERPAT leaders. Immediately call for a planning workshop where and when officers are elected and committees are formed. Do remember to define roles and responsibilities as basis for the choice of leaders. Emphasize too, that the members and leaders of each committee must have a sense of commitment for community development work, effective leadership, and should be sensitive and concerned to fellow families/fathers in the community.

H.

Organize an ERPAT Association The organized fathers in your community can now form the ERPAT Barangay Association. (Please see annex). For its initial meeting, the organization shall formulate its vision, mission and goal (VMG) based on the objectives of ERPAT. This is very important for this will guide as well as provide direction to the plans and other activity of the association. The members and officers of the ERPAT association shall jointly agree upon the vision, mission and goals. When the members and officers finalize the VMG, the plan of action of the association may be finalized and specific committees can be organized to handle activities or projects. Each committee may set their own activities to accomplish their tasks. In the plan of action of the ERPAT associations, special emphasis on the celebration of special events such as Family Week, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Children’s Month, Women’s month and other special events that promote the strengthening of family shall also be included

I.

Implement the Planned Programs and Projects of ERPAT A key to sustaining organization’s life is to make sure those programs and projects are implemented as planned. The LGU worker can initially supervise program and project implementation. At this stage, it is expected that you and the association mobilizes fathers who will then mobilize their family members to help undertake projects in the community. Among the activities and projects you can implement are:   

Capability Building for both newly recruited fathers and other LGU or NGO workers; Peer Support Organization and Mobilization Project Monitoring, Supervision, Evaluation and Sustainability

Monitoring and evaluation of the service implementation shall focus on the following activities: 

The DSWD national and field offices will conduct regular monitoring visits. This will be a joint activity with the local government units concerned.



Annual service implementation review will be conducted to evaluate the overall project implementation to include strengths and weaknesses for continuity and improvement as a basis for plan of action for the succeeding year.

Other activities that can help you sustain the organization are activities that respond to the needs and problems of each member, individual or in groups. These include but not limited to the (1) regular home visits, (2) provision of livelihood projects; (3) conduct of cultural and sports activities; and (4) provision of awards and other forms of recognition/incentives to the efforts of father leaders and volunteers.

Chapter Four: THE FATHER LEADERS (Initiating, Managing and Sustaining ERPAT)  You must have noticed by now that ERPAT places the highest premium on the father-volunteers and leaders as they play key roles in the community. More than anything else, they serve as role models to their families and communities. They also serve as facilitators in promoting the rearing and caring roles of fathers in the family. Of course, all of ERPAT’s service components prepare these father-volunteers to focus on these roles.

Competency Requirements of an ERPAT Leader/Volunteer To be able to perform these roles, a set of competencies are required. Do check/engage the father-volunteers if they possess the following competencies below. If not, you may need to find ways as to help them acquire these competencies. 1. Knowledge: Know basic methods of organizing Know the contents of the ERPAT project Has good knowledge on leadership and volunteerism Has basic knowledge on Peer Counseling 2. Attitudes/Values: Sensitivity to familial roles, responsibilities, needs and social realities among fathers. Recognizes strengths and improve weaknesses 3. Skills: Effective communication Facilitating groups and using facilitating methods Active listening and relationship-building Energizing/inspiring/motivating Basic skills in counseling Skills in organizing - Skills in establishing rapport

As ERPAT leaders and volunteers, fathers during the preliminary, proper and post implementation phases perform multiple roles. Each of these roles requires a particular set of competency and entails corresponding responsibilities. This chapter spells out all these roles and provides you descriptive parameters. A. Preliminary Phase Father-volunteer as Coordinator  Coordinates with M/CSWDO in the conduct of community-based sessions.  Assists in the conduct of identifying fathers as participants  Arranges for a venue and use of equipment  Prepares learning materials  Provides resource persons, if necessary  Acts as guides during the learning experiences of fathers

Father-volunteer as Organizer  Coordinates and links with M/CSWDO, Barangay leaders/officials and ensure active participation of fathers in the community;  Organizes core group of fathers as initial volunteers  Identifies and mobilizes resources

B. Implementation Phase Father-volunteer as Co-Trainer (in the Community-Based Sessions)  Plans with M/CSWDO on theme and topic assignments  Assists M/CSWDO in the conduct of ERPAT session or acts as resource person  Provides information on ERPAT  Conducts training for fathers in the community through the use of various learning methodologies  Uses learning aids–charts, drawing, pictures, and other forms of visual aids Father-volunteer as Peer Counselor  Provides support and encouragement to fathers in crisis  Develops rapport with other participants  Develops genuine interest in directing their process of growth

 Communicates on a one-on-one basis with fathers in stressful situations  Organizes sessions to enhance self-confidence and self-esteem of fathers.  Enhances relationship/teambuilding with father volunteers/leaders Father-volunteer as Documenter and Records Keeper  Maintains records of the accomplishment of the ERPAT group through monitoring and documentation  Observes participation/involvement of father leaders  Documents activities of ERPAT groups

C. Post-Implementation Father-volunteer as Monitor/Evaluator  Assesses the extent of implementation and effects of ERPAT sessions to father participants  Undertakes follow-up visits with / to fathers and their families  Conducts regular (monthly/quarterly) meeting  Shares reflections and sessions with fathers volunteers/leaders  Provides relevant feedback to C/MSWDO  Conducts consultation meeting with other stakeholders Father-volunteer as Coordinator  Conducts follow through activities through coordination with concerned parties  Establishes and maintains contacts with the fathers in the community, their families, peers, and other individuals or groups or agencies involved in ERPAT implementation to ensure that its objectives are achieved. Father-volunteer as Advocate  Shares learning and gains of ERPAT to other fathers in the community  Recruits fathers and Men Opposed to Violence Against Women Everywhere (MOVE) advocates to become ERPAT members  Builds partnership with MOVE organization for the prevention of violence against women and children (VAWC)  Assists in the information dissemination campaign of ERPAT towards promotion of paternal roles and responsibilities

Chapter Five: Conducting the ERPAT Modules  The community based training is the heart and soul of the ERPAT service where we engage the fathers. This is also where much of ERPAT’s objectives (increasing father’s knowledge, skills and values/ attitudes on parenting) are achieved. This chapter contains easy-to-follow sessions and / or activity plans particularly arranged to ensure competency build-up among your fathertrainees. For beginning facilitators or trainers, you may follow each activity plan. While these sessions and / or activity plans have been tested, you are free to make the necessary changes as you see fit or be creative while conducting your training.  Each session plan contains the following: 1. Title – gives you a clue on what the module or session is all about 2. Intro spiel – this is a short spiel written in italics just like this one, which you can use / say to introduce the session to your participants. 3. Estimated Time – tells you how long a particular session lasts. The whole ERPAT training if you count the number of hours, roughly takes around twenty-seven (27) hours. However, field experiences tell us that the length of session varies based on the trainees “realities”. Given this, it is really up to you to manage training time efficiently as you plan the day or weeks it would take you and your trainees to complete the modules. 4. Objectives – indicates the behavioral objective(s) that your trainees should be able to demonstrate or do in the course of session; 5. Materials – you can find these contained in boxes in every session. It is a list of things you need in your activities. There are also notes written in bold letters instructing you to either photocopy or copy as teaching and learning aids. 6. Methodology – tells you about the teaching-learning method espoused in the activities.

7. Key Learning Points – even before you conduct the session, DO read these carefully and thoroughly, because these are the learning foundations of the activities. As such they serve either as your guide or even as your main inputs that raise activities into learning experiences. 8. Activity / Activities – provide(s) step-by-step instructions on how to run the learning activity 9. Processing – provides instructions (most often in the form of guide questions or actions) that you can ask or do to engage your participants to deepen their learning experiences. 10. Application – allow the participants to relate the topics and learning to their daily activities Are you ready to conduct your training now? Well... If you have… ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____

Gone this far and read previous chapters Clarified your roles and functions and understood ERPAT in its entirety Engaged people in your local government to support you in implementing ERPAT Organized your core group of fathers to assist you in your training Arranged your venue, its physical set up and the facilities Followed-up and confirmed invitations to your target fatherparticipants Scanned this chapter, made and prepared your training materials e.g. visual supports and workshop materials Arranged food (when available) Identified and mobilized other resources and logistics Identified, organized, invited and confirmed the coming of your resource speakers (when needed) Assured and told yourself that you are able and willing to do this training

Then, you must be VERY ready!

Good luck on your ERPAT training!

PRELIMINARY SESSION Title: Situation of Filipino Fathers This session helps us to be aware of the current situation(s) of fathers in our community. This will deepen our understanding of issues affecting role performance. Estimated Time: 45 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Analyze current situations of Filipino fathers. 2. Review current beliefs, practices and concepts about fathering. 3. Discuss gender issues prevailing and affecting members of the family. Methodology: Group Sharing/Discussion Materials: Metacards, Pen markers, Masking tape, Transparency picture of a Father and a Mother  Your Key Learning Points  There are basic attributes between a man and a woman. There are also prevailing expectations as to how men and women should think and behave. These expectations form the gender roles.  Sex refers to biologically determined differences between men and women.  Gender roles are the set of social norms that dictate what is socially defined as appropriate female and male behavior.  Gender roles are learned behaviors in a given society/community or other social group that condition which activities, tasks and responsibilities are perceived as male and female.  Gender roles are affected by age, class, race, ethnicity, religion or other ideologies, geographical, economic and political environment  Men and women differ from each other physically, emotionally and socially. Physical differences are referred to as “Sex” while social differences are referred to as “Gender”

 Gender likewise are the values and norms that support and perpetrate the belief in men’s dominant status and natural aggressiveness and in women’s subordinate status and role in the family and in the society as a whole.  Fathers are perceived as symbols of strength and power in the family. Fathers are the family’s main source of authority. The breadwinner, the decision-maker and the foundation of the family. They are the disciplinarians and the ones who commit more forms of abuse as inherent to their characteristics as they exercise their power and authority over their family members.  Mothers meanwhile are perceived more as weak but loving persons. They are more emotional and do support the decisions of the father as the head of the family. Their roles are confined in the household responsibilities including rearing and caring for children and other family members. Because of their inherent characteristics, they are more prone to be abused in the family including the very young children.  To create a wholesome and positive family life, the parents, the father and the mother have collaborative roles to perform. In performing responsibilities at home or in the family, one should assess one’s capacities and abilities rather than on one’s biological characteristics to achieve a shared familial roles and responsibilities, shared decisionmaking and a shared vision and hope for the family. Activity: 1. Group the participants (5-7 members / group) 2. Ask them to discuss the characteristics of fathers they observe in their own families, neighborhood or community. 3. Use the following guide questions: What do you observe about fathers in your community? Can you differentiate characteristics, identities and role expectations of the fathers and the mothers? What values and beliefs are attached to fathering? 4. Ask them to write their responses in the newsprint or metacards if not ask a volunteer from the group to share a summary report of their discussion. Alternative Activity: 1. Post the word FATHER and MOTHER on the board 2. Under those words, place the word male under the father and the word female under the mother.

3. Provide the participants with metacards and ask them to think of any word that relate to the two basic words. 4. Ask the participants to post or write their responses in the board. Your trainees’ output can look like this; FATHER Male Strong Big body Handsome Mason Carpenter Authoritative Domineering Muscles Hard Vices Head of the family

MOTHER Female Weak Loving Beautiful Laundrywoman Manicurist Beautician Sexy Long hair Clear skin Vices Ilaw ng Tahanan

Processing: 1. Point out the differences between sex and gender. 2. Point out the differences and similarities between the father as a male and the mother as female. 3. Synthesize responses. Application: End the introductory session by singing: FAMILY F – is for my father and M is for my mother I love you. (2x) I love you in the morning and in the afternoon I love you in the evening, underneath the moon … Oh! F is for my Father and M is for my mother Family……

MODULE I UNDERSTANDING MYSELF AS A PERSON

SESSION 1: Understanding Myself When we talk of philosophy, we simply mean of “searching for meaning”. In this session we will attempt to define the meaning of man’s existence in relation to his environment. Who we are and what makes us different from other creatures on earth.

Estimated Time: 1 hour Objectives: At the end of the session, participants shall be able to: 1. Attain awareness and discover oneself as a person 2. Find meaning of one’s existence in relation to his environment Methodology: Collage-making Individual Reflection Lecture-Discussion

Materials: Old newspapers/ colorful magazines, paste, newsprint, scissors Alternative Materials: Clay

 Key Learning Points: 1. You are a rationale being. You have the capability to think and recognize what is right and wrong. You use your capability in honing your qualities. You have rights to act on improving and fulfilling your aspirations in life. But rights have accompanying responsibilities towards yourself, others and God. 2. Your values, personality traits, childhood experiences, personal and family goals affect your characteristics as a person and more importantly, your role as a father. You are a unique person and able to relate with others. 3. You have a specific purpose and mission in life and that purpose and mission provides meaning and direction in your life. 4. Knowing yourself and knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is the first step in becoming an effective father. Realizing your own limitations helps you consider things that will affect you in performing your role as a father. You build yourself up by enhancing your strengths and working on your limitations and weaknesses.

Activity: 1. Ask the participants to group themselves into six or eight and provide them materials to make a collage 2. Ask them to use the old newspaper and magazines and make a collage based on their group’s interpretation of what a man is and what to them is the meaning of being a man. 3. Clay can be alternative used. For the use of clay, ask them to make forms, shapes or objects that will represent a man. 4. Assign a leader who will facilitate sharing in the group. Using the following as guide questions: a. What do you think is man made of? b. What makes you happy? c. What makes your life meaningful and complete? 5. A group leader shall be assigned to each group to note responses of participants on the meaning of man based on their own knowledge/perception. 6. Each group takes turn in presenting their collage or their clay images 7. Allow clarification session among participants to deepen the discussion of the meaning of man. Processing: 1. After each group had reported, process the whole activity by first summarizing their outputs. 2. Highlight significant points that they raised and connect them to your learning points. 3. Synthesize all inputs and stress the value of openness to life experiences, importance of reflections for growth and directions, and appreciation of oneself and other persons. Applications: Play the song “Sino Ako” and let the participants reflect on the meaning of the Song. 1. While playing the song, help the participants reflect by leading them to a closing prayer.

SINO AKO Hiram sa Diyos and aking Buhay Ikaw at ako’y tanging Handog lamang Di ko ninais na ako’y isilang Ngunit salamat dahil may buhay Ligaya ko na ako’y isilang Pagkat tao ay mayroong dangal Sinong may pag-ibig, sinong nagmamahal Kung hindi ay tao, Diyos ang pinagmulan Kung hindi ako umibig Kung hindi ko man bigyang halaga Ang buhay kong handog Ang buhay ko’y hiram sa Diyos Kung hindi ako nagmamahal Sino Ako?

2. The closing prayer should highlight on the meaning of each trainee’s existence as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a community volunteer and as a leader and as a person.

SESSION 2: Building Positive Self-Esteem as a Father What does self-esteem mean to a father? How important is one’s role particularly the role of a father? How does self-esteem affect his relationships with his family? In this session, we will be exploring how our selfesteem develops and how it affects us as a person and as a father. Estimated Time: 1 hour Objective: The participants should be able to demonstrate a buildup of positive self-esteem, as a pre-requisite to effective fathering. Methodology: Structured Learning Exercise (River of Life) Lecture-Discussion

Materials: Newsprint, Marking pens, sample drawing of River of Life

 Key Learning Points:  Self-esteem is how a person feels and thinks about himself. It may be positive and it may be negative.  Self-esteem develops overtime. However, it constantly changes. Positive experiences and fulfilling relationships can help raise selfesteem. Negative experiences and troubled relationships contribute to low self-esteem.  Factors that influence one’s self-esteem are our early childhood experiences, personal relationships in the home, school, community, jobs, and patterns of social life.  Self-esteem is very important because it has a direct bearing on one’s life particularly as a father. Fathers with high self-esteem are more productive and fully functioning than those who have low self-esteem and have no direction in life.  A person with high self-esteem has self-respect. He values himself. However, a person with a low self-esteem is an insecure person. He doesn’t see his value or worth.  To consider one’s self-esteem, one must start to look first at himself, and build on one’s self-esteem and one’s strengths. The more positive attributes and attitudes one has with his children and other members of the family, the more positive relations will be in his own family.

 To improve one’s self-esteem, one must begin at accepting oneself – one’s weaknesses and strengths. There is a need to praise oneself and nurture the feeling of love and trust.  Learn to value your abilities and be realistic in assessing yourself. Activity: River of My Life 1. Present a picture (drawn and outlined) of a river on a manila paper to the participants. 2. Ask them to individually draw their own river on a ¼ sheet of brown paper and as they draw ask them to work on the following questions: a. When are my happiest moments in life? b. How do early experiences affect me now as a father? c. How significant is my own father in influencing the river of my life? d. How does the flow of the river affect my self- esteem and me as a person? 3. You may ask participants to incorporate sharing of previous session in this activity. 4. Process the activity and synthesize learning and insights of the participants. Processing: 1. Relate the importance of knowing one’s self as a requirement in improving and building one’s self-esteem as a prerequisite to effective fathering/parenting. 2. Elicit learning from the activity and provide inputs based on your key learning points. Application: 1. Give each trainee two sheets of paper 2. Ask the trainees to draw a heart and write all their positive traits and pin this on their chest to be shown to other participants. 3. On the other sheet of paper, ask the trainees to write all their negative traits and collect these negative traits and burn to symbolize its insignificance (please do ensure safety) while the group forms a circle singing the song, “A Time to Change” or any song related to it.

MODULE II ACCEPTING YOUR ROLE AS A FATHER

SESSION 1: Importance of a Father Image What is the male factor? Father’s special participation on the rearing of children contributes to the wellrounded development of their sons and daughters. Research shows that extra love and attention they get from having a closely involved father as well as a close and loving mother provides/leads child to develop social skills ahead of their schedule. But what does it really mean to be a father? How important is your presence to your children as their father? Many fathers know what they don’t want to do as a father from their own childhood experiences. But they likewise are not sure of what they should do. In this session, we will be discovering your own perception of being a father. Estimated time: 1 hour and 20 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Understand the meaning of Fatherhood. 2. Appreciate the importance of Male Factor to Children Methodology: Brainstorming Buzz Session/Group Discussion Lecture  Key Learning Points: A. Definition of Fatherhood Fatherhood means becoming an active partner in performing a major educational role in child growth and development. It means getting to know them and sharing who you are as a person. It means spending time and making the most of the time you spend with them. It means taking an active interest and involvement in all the aspects of your child’s growth – social, emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual and language development.

B. Importance of Father Image in the Child A noted sociologist, Dr. David Propenoe is one of the pioneers of the relatively young field of research into fathers and fatherhood 1. A father image is important to the child because…  Primary source of influence to children  Father’s special participation contributes to the well-rounded development of their children  Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children  A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities  Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore surroundings, and as they grow older, have better social connections with peers Activity: 1. Ask the participants to group themselves into 6 or 8 and brainstorm on the following: a. What does it mean to be a father? b. How important is my being a father to my child? c. What are the hindrances that keep me away and unable to relate with my child? 2. Hand out metacards, marking pens and masking tape where they can write their responses. 3. To deepen the sharing of participants, ask them to relax and sit comfortably. 4. Ask them to meditate on the present relationship with their family guided by the following statements: Based on your experiences as a father, recall little moments you spent with your child. How often do you play with your child? How much available time do you spend with them to listen to their thoughts, feelings and desires? Do you care for them enough to provide the necessary nurturance they expect from you? Do you tune–in to their feelings, enabling and helping them to become aware of and able to express their feelings towards you? 5. Again, ask the participants to write their responses on metacards. 6. Ask each group to present their discussion outputs in the plenary.

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http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm

7. Allow an open forum to clarify and deepen the discussion and help participants internalize the topic. Processing: 1. Allow sufficient time for exchange of ideas and feelings during the plenary session. 2. Accommodate clarification and sharing of experiences in the plenary to deepen the discussion. 3. Be sure though that the focus of discussion will be on the importance of being a father to their children. 4. Using your key learning points, stress that there is no recipe and there is no one right way to be a father. What is important is to work out what is going to work for you. How do you work it out will depend on the following: a. What do you expect to do as a father? b. What does your wife expect from you as a father to your children? c. The way you and your partner balance work and family responsibilities. d. The good things that you want to pass on from what your own father did. e. Quality time spent with your children. f. The things that you see other fathers do. g. What your children’s wants and needs are. Application: 1. Ask the participant to individually work on the question: What shall I do to fulfill my role as a father to my children and as a husband to my wife? 2. In a circle, each trainee take turns in sharing their individual answers to the group 3. End the activity with a prayer for fathers.

SESSION 2: Development of Paternal Identity Men’s early and ongoing relationships with their fathers affect and shape the intimacy in their own family life. Their experiences shape their strengths and weaknesses in their adult life, equally important are the patterns they have acquired which will serve as their basis in establishing relationship in their own family life.

Estimated Time: 1 hour Objective: The participants shall be able to acquire knowledge and express understanding of the process of developing paternal identity. Methodology: Group Sharing Lecture/Discussion

Materials: Acetate, Cartolina, Pen Markers Acetate Pens

Key Learning Points:  Fatherhood is a lifelong process.  While either parent can do parenting, children still have different experiences with their fathers from that of their mothers.  The kind of experience that children have with their fathers will greatly depend on the kind of relationship that they have with one another. This emotional attachment is established as the father becomes involved during the exploration and integration stage of the children throughout their development cycle.  Stages in the development of attachment involves attachment which starts as early as during pregnancy and when the father becomes emotionally engrossed with his new born baby.  Psychological – emotional bonding is deepened with the child’s growth and development.  Fatherhood means spending more of his free time with the child. There is a shift of values and priorities. Fathers now stay more at home and spend time alone with the child to meet the demands of childcare instead of staying outside with friends. He shares his

strengths and vulnerabilities as well as his hopes and aspirations to his children. Fathers also need to ensure that they still have a space, peace and quiet hour for himself to nurture his own sense of individuality.



Stages in a father’s life that lead to the development of paternal identity (Prepare this on Acetate or Cartolina and Use as Visual Aid)    

 

At 3-4 years old, the child starts to look for masculine identity At the age of five the child begins to segregate father and mother by sex As the child becomes older (middle childhood years), he is focused at following rules rather than strengthen his relationship At adolescent, he is more at game of power, strengths and achievements. He tends to repress his wishes to be held and to be taken cared of and cuddled, but there are still inner longings/desires to have his father around ready to support and provide care and nurturance. If the male child is hardly able to receive warmth and soft nurturance from his own father the child develops a sense of loss that extends into adulthood. So that when he reaches his adult stage, the male child tries to resolve guilt, shame and anger in silence and unable to perform his role as a husband or a father

Activity: 1. In a plenary ask the participants to describe their relationship with their own fathers. 2. Follow up by asking if they find it easy to relate to their own fathers when they were children and now as adults? 3. Form the participants into triads and ask them to discuss their individual experiences focusing on the kind of relationship they had with their own fathers and how this relationship developed. Use the following guide questions: a. What kind of relationship did I have with my father? b. Am I very close with my father? c. Do we communicate regularly with one another? Who initiates the communication between us? d. Do I share common interests? Hobbies? Music? etc e. How did my father affect and shape my way of relating with my own children now?

Processing: 1. Process the activity by getting their responses in each of the questions above. 2. Write key responses in the board by item as numbered above. 3. Synthesize using your key learning points and presenting your prepared transparency or cartolina. Application: 1. Ask the participants to identify ways they could enhance their relationship with their children. 2. Ask them to write one or two strategies to enable their own children to learn more about them as a person thus enabling both of them and their children to develop closer relationship. 3. Ask them to write these on metacards and place them in their chests. 4. Ask them to walk around and share it with other participants. 5. An alternative approach will be to post all the metacards in the board and have each item be read by the participants.

SESSION 3: Knowing and Understanding Your Role as a Father.

How can a father find joy and satisfaction in guiding his child from infancy to adulthood? In these rapidly changing times, there is a need to define one’s role as a father. Contrast to the role of our fathers twenty-five years ago, fathers as the main breadwinner of the family is no longer true as evidenced by the rising cases of female overseas workers and female working full time in local jobs. Children are now more exposed to new and different information, technology and changing culture. Hence, fathers need to learn new skills and knowledge, perhaps a revived attitude in relating and responding to their paternal tasks and responsibilities.

Estimate Time: 45 minutes Objective: Participants shall be able to identify specific responsibilities of fathers. Methodology: Individual Reflection Group Sharing Lecture-Discussion

Materials: Prepared question, 1 cartolina or acetate, copy of PD 603

Key Learning Points: Fatherhood is becoming an active partner in assuming the major educational role in child growth and development. Roles of Fathers in the Family (Prepare on acetate or cartolina- Article 46 – Child and Youth Welfare Code (PD 603).       

Affection, companionship and understanding Moral guidance, self-discipline and religious instructions Supervision, activities and recreation Inculcate positive values Stimulate interest in civic affairs Set a good example Provide adequate support

Liabilities of Parents  Conceal or abandon the child with intent to make such child lose his/her civil status.  Sell or abandon the child to another person for valuable consideration.  Neglect the child by not giving him/her the education which the family’s situation in life and financial conditions permit.  Fail or refuse to enroll the child as required by Article 72 of PD 603.  Cause, abet, permit the truancy of the child from the school where he/she is enrolled.  Improperly exploit the child by using him/her for purposes of begging and other acts which are inimical to his/her interest and welfare.  Inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon the child which causes or encourages the child to lead an immoral or dissolute life.  Permit the child to possess or carry deadly weapons.

Penalty: 2 months to 6 months for light offense Activity: 1. Present the written questionnaire on the board and ask each participant to respond to the questions using the metacards: a. What are the roles of my father? How did he perform his role as a father? b. What are the tasks and responsibilities corresponding to these roles? c. How does he relate with his family? d. What are the problems I encountered with my father in terms of his role performance? 2. After each participant has individually responded to the questions. Group them into six to eight members and ask them to share their responses with the group. Processing: 1. Ask each participant to report on their discussions using their metacards as visual aids. 2. Linking these answers using your key learning points. Application: 1. Ask the participants to identify their roles, which they think strengthen in their family and write these down on a sheet of paper. 2. Each sheet of paper shall be entitled “My roles as a father that I need to Strengthen”

MODULE III BECOMING YOUR WIFE’S BESTFRIEND

SESSION 1: Difference Between Sex and Gender

What is sex, what is gender? How does one differ from the other? This is the main content of this session and through simple exercise provided every woman shall appreciate the key distinction between gender and sex.

Estimated Time: 1 Hour Objectives: At the end of the session, the participants should be able to:  

Differentiate sex from gender Make women appreciate the difference between sex and gender Materials: Methodology:  Handouts,  Individual Exercise  Powerpoint,  Lecture/Discussion LCD, Laptop  Whiteboard marker, Key Learning Points:  Pentel pen,  Masking tape 1. Sex is a natural distinguishing variable based on biological characteristics of being a man or a woman. It refers to physical attributes pertaining to a person’s body contour, features, genitals, hormones, genes, chromosomes and reproductive organs. Sex differences between men and women are biological. 2. Gender refers to the socially differentiated roles, characteristics and expectations attributed by culture to women and men. It identifies the social behavior of women and men and the relationship between them. Gender roles and attributes are natural or biologically given. 3. Sex is biological fact, while gender is a social construct. Sex is a natural attribute that a person is born with. Gender, on the other hand, is created, produced, reproduced, and maintained by

social institutions, a process otherwise referred to as the social construction of gender. Because gender roles, attitudes, behaviors, characteristics and expectations are learned, they can be unlearned. Note to Facilitator: Discussion on Islamic perspective may be included depending on the background of the participants

Activity: Word Association Exercise 1. Tell the participants that they have 20 minutes to do this exercise. 2. Divide the participants equally into two groups. Assign the word “female” to the first group and the word “male” to the second group. 3. Instruct the two groups to form a line and face the board (or newsprint) that is divided into two columns, one for “female” and the other column for “male.” 4. Tell the participants to write on the board (or newsprint) what is being asked pertaining to the word assigned to them. The first participant on the line writes one idea and he needs to pass on the chalk or marker to the participant next to him until everybody on their line has written their answer based on what is being asked. They should do this as quickly as possible. 5. Ask the following: a. First round – Things that are being used by a male or a female b. Second round – Places where a female or a male goes to c. Third round – Food that a female or a male eats d. Fourth round – Activities that a female or a male can do e. Fifth round – Body parts of a female or a male Processing: 1. Ask the participants the following questions: a. Affective Level  While you are answering the questions/instruction given by the facilitator, what was your reaction? b. Cognitive Level  Are the ideas you have written on the board (newsprint) for female only? For male only? Or can be for both?

2.

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The facilitator will do this as he/she examines every word written on the board (newsprint) and make notes on what are for female, for male, and for both.



What is your insights/learning from the exercise?

Synthesize the results of the exercise and proceed to the discussion of the Key Learning Points.

Application: For the participants to start to re-assess their perception of women based on the concept of sex and gender.

SESSION 2: Understanding the Difference between Men and Women How does a man differ from a woman? In this session we will attempt to explore the difference between a man and a woman. We will try to recall how you differ with your spouse on the different aspects of your relationships such as, the way each of you cope with problems, communicate with each other, use language and express your feelings. Estimated Time: 90 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to demonstrate and express awareness of the difference between a man and a woman as basis in relating with their wives. Methodology: Buzz Group Discussion Modified Role-Play Lecture-Discussion

Materials: Manila paper Cartolina, pen markers

Key Learning Points: Differences between Men and Women (You can photocopy and distribute handouts) Sense of Self  Man’s sense of self is defined though his ability to achieve results.  To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to “help” a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.  A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. A woman being able to share all her feelings to her husband will be contented and satisfied. But a man thinking of helping interrupts this stress releasing activity of a woman by offering immediate solution to her problem.

John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, points out the following2: 1. Coping with Stress  To feel better, men go to their caves to solve problem alone  To feel better, women get together and openly talk about their problems.  A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. At times, to forget her own painful feelings, a woman may become emotionally involved in the problems of others.  Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems. 2. Ways of Motivating  Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed and women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. Therefore not to be needed is a slow death for men.

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http://passthrough.fwnotify.net/download/452465/http://www.cleargoalscoaching.com/wpcontent/uploads/2011/06/Men-are-from-Mars-and-Women-Venue-1.pdf

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A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. Therefore it is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure. Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

3. Speaking Different Languages  Both men and women languages have the same words, but the ways they are used have different meanings.  To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic licenses to use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.  The number one complaint of women in a relationship is: “I don’t feel heard!” But men misunderstand even this complaint.  The biggest challenge for women is to interpret correctly and support a man when he isn’t talking. 4. Man Intimacy Cycle  When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. They are like rubber bands. At times they need to pull away again to regain back their sense of autonomy and independence.  When a man physically pulls himself away, she physically follows him.  When a man emotionally pulls himself away, she emotionally follows him more. She may also try to pull him back mentally by asking him guilt-inducing questions.

5. Mood of Women  A woman’s self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits bottom, it is a time for emotional housecleaning.  In relationships, men pull back and then get closer, while women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.  Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman, she may become even more upset. The negative feelings of women should not be suppressed otherwise the positive feelings become suppressed as well.  Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding. Therefore by supporting her need to be heard, she could support his need to be free.

6. Emotional Needs  Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to receive and appreciate the other kinds of love.  A woman needs care and a man needs trust.  She needs understanding and he needs appreciation.  She needs devotion and he needs admiration.  She needs validation and he needs approval.  She needs reassurance and he needs encouragement. Activity: 1. Group the participants into two groups separating the men from the women. (If all participants are males, ask one group to answer the women’s point of view). 2. Each group to work on the following questions: a. What do you like most about wife? b. What do you dislike most about wife? 3. Ask the group to assign a reporter and a leader. The reporter writes all responses of the participants on Manila paper while the leader facilitates the group discussion and sharing. 4. Each group presents their discussion outputs in the plenary. Processing: 1. While a group reports in the plenary, take note of the important issues they raise. 2. Allow sufficient time for clarifications and sharing to deepen the discussion. 3. Elicit the learning and insights from the participants. 4. Using your Key Learning Points, lead the participants’ insights into understanding the difference between a man and a woman in relation with one another. Application: 1. Ask the participants to identify one personality attribute of their wives that they like most and one attribute or characteristic that they hate most. 2. In the attribute that they hate most, ask them what they can do so that it will not irritate them anymore. 3. Ask the participants to write them on metacards and post them on the board for everybody to see and learn from. 4. End the session with the following statement: “Knowing your wife more will make you more effective as a husband.”

SESSION 3: Improving Relationship with my Wife

Prerequisite to effective fathering is a stable and harmonious relationship with the mother of the child, no less but your wife. But how can a husband and his wife be a friend to one another in its real sense? Estimated time: 90 minutes Objective: The participants shall be able to discuss the different factors that affect their marital relationship. Methodology: Brainstorming/Sharing Role Playing Lecture Discussion Alternative Methodology – Film Showing

Materials: Manila paper Pens Pencils Mirror

Key Learning Points:  Causes may step from the innate quality of a man and a woman on how they relate to one another based on their biological, emotional and mental characteristics as well as cultural and social backgrounds.  What values they ascribe to and believe in.  The way they relate to one another as they interact as husband and wife.  Causes of conflict are due to deviations from the exercise of socially assigned roles of women and men as well as children in the family. These may be as follow: o Inability to provide for the needs of family. Wife/husband’s incapability to perform her/his reproductive and productive roles. o Men and women vices. o Other undesirable behaviors.  Particularly in how they communicate with each other such as often resorting to: o Blaming- the tendency to blame always the spouse. o Placating – one who keeps saying yes but deep inside is not (just to pacify).

o o 

Computing – the tendency to count on other’s mistake repeatedly. Distracting – the one who keeps on speaking or nagging but not coming deep from the heart and mind.

Conflict in husband-wife relationship may result to: o Husband/wife relationship - Reticence/silence - Withholding of economic support - Refusal to talk, dialogue/respond action’s needs - Marital violence - Sexual problems o To children - Aggressive/undesirable behaviors - Confusion - Low self-esteem - Shame/embarrassment - Hatred - Early sexual involvement - Low academic performance/drop-out

on

each

Activity: 1. Ask the participants to group into two. (Same grouping as the preceding activity - men and women) 2. Ask each group to identify marital obligations of a husband (group 1) and a wife (group 2) 3. Encourage sharing of beliefs, myths and family practices in husband and wife relationship. 4. Provide the following as discussion guides: a. What are your wife’s obligations? b. What are your obligations as husband? c. How do we perform our marital obligations? d. How do we improve? 5. Ask them to write their responses in Manila Paper Processing: 1. Ask the participants to report their group output in the plenary. 2. Encourage open discussion and clarification, as this will deepen the discussion on the topic. 3. Provide highlights of the two group outputs and compare each other’s responses.

4. Elicit learning from the participants and use your key learning points.

Application: 1. Let the participants sit in a circle. 2. Provide participants with two pieces of paper and ask them to answer the following questions: a. What is the best thing that I like in me? b. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my left? c. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my right? 3. Once done, pass around a mirror and each one takes turn to talk to ones’ self while looking at the mirror (for the first question); and look directly to the person to one’s right and left for the second and third questions. 4. Elicit their feelings and insights by asking the participants the following questions: a. What did you feel in the exercise? b. What did you feel when you say directly to yourself the attributes that you like best in yourself? c. What did you feel when you received positive remarks from those beside you? d. What did you learn and discover in the exercise? 5. Synthesize the insights of participants and elicit other ways that they think would improve husband’s relationship with their wife.

Ways to Improve Husband-Wife Relationship (Photocopy and distribute as hands-out) 1. Build each other’s self-esteem through: a. Praising/mutual affirmation – giving of positive remarks and affirming one’s strengths, skills, knowledge and other positive attributes sincerely and honestly. b. Focusing on the positives to help boost each other’s selfesteem. c. Mutual understanding and respect/trust 2. Man-Woman Roles a. Sharing of roles, mutual cooperation and service - sharing of familial roles and responsibilities according to one’s expertise and interest. b. Commitment to the family - responding to paternal tasks and responsibilities. 3. Marital Communication Process a. Dialogue-language of the heart – loving confrontation focused on one’s feelings and expectations. b. Use of leveling in communication – which means giving the other person information and making him/her understand about your thoughts and feelings, rather than expecting her or him to read your mind. c. Satisfying sexual relation/sex as a form of communication. 4. Religion in Deed a. Practice of one’s religion – leading the family in spirituality 5. Others a. Know how one’s partner move b. Readiness to ask for and forgive c. Resolving problems at the early stage d. Focusing on the problem (don’t talk about previous ones) e. Own faults and mistakes f. Cease from vices g. Seek counseling advice h. Set house rules or family rules i. Continuously clarify marital expectations j. Keep up the romance

SESSION 4: Sexuality in Marriage

Human sexuality plays a major role in marriage. The sexual life of a couple is very crucial in building and sustaining marriage. Every couple should learn the important elements of sexuality, to be able to appreciate more that sexuality is not just a biological aspect of marital life rather as a high form of communication, deep way of expressing one’s love and commitment to each other. But couples likewise need to understand the very basic of sexuality to be able to appreciate the important role it plays in marital life. Estimated Time: 60 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss the elements of human sexuality. 2. Discuss the importance of sexuality in enhancing marital life. Methodology: Group Sharing Lecture/Discussion

Materials: Paper, pens, pencils, Manila paper, picture of the anatomy of a man a woman

Key Learning Points:  Understanding basic characteristics and differences between men and women, particularly in sex is necessary to make and keep a successful marriage.  Open and honest discussion about sex and sexual issues to improve communication in sexual relationship  Couples should be aware as well of their reproductive capacity, and to control and regulate it as guided by their sense of responsibilities.  Sexuality is an integral part of the personality of everyone: man, woman and child; it is a basic need and aspect of being human that cannot be separated from other aspect of life. “(World Health Organization, 1975). It is the totality of being: the projection of maleness/femaleness.  Hence, couples may express their sexuality biologically and nonbiologically. From wide range of intimate sexual expression- from holding hands, hugging, kissing, massaging, dancing or doing the sex act itself to a simple touch to express simple affection, to communication.  A mutually satisfactory sexual relationship promotes successful marriage. It is important to know the different stages of the sexual act to become aware of the more satisfactory way/responses to achieve or fulfill sexual responsibilities in marriage.

Activity: 1. Post the picture (anatomy) of the man and a woman on the board and ask the participants to label their parts to have a clear picture of the anatomy of a man and a woman. 2. Divide the participants into five to six members per group and ask them to discuss the sexual characteristics of a man and a woman. 3. Ask them to make two columns in the newsprint provided to them and label the first column, MAN and second column WOMAN. 4. Ask them to highlight the differences between men and women in the attitudes and practice of sex. 5. Ask them to share their outputs in the plenary. Processing: 1. Process the activity by adding more to their output focusing on areas that have not been discussed based on the matrix below:

MAN Easily aroused (smell, sight, imagination, not necessarily by direct stimulation), reaches sexual satisfaction in a shorter time, his feelings settle down in much shorter time.3 Easier for man to deal with sexual frustrations, it is more localized and can easily be forgotten. Sexual desire reaches its peak in late teens to late twenties then, it goes downhill and slightly go up to mid-40’s and 50’s. Sex and love can exist independently of the other. Use of sex as means of satisfying a great physical hunger-a physical need that can exist even without love.

WOMAN Longer time to get sexually aroused more by direct stimulation of erotic parts. Longer for her to reach sexual peak and for her feelings to subdue. Repeated sexual frustration is difficult for a woman.

Average women does not achieve sexual peak till she is in her 30’s and retains this ability into her 60’s. Looks and expects more beyond just the sexual relationship alone. Think of sex more in terms of love, care and security and not just a means to physical satisfaction.

2. Synthesize the above and connect them to your key learning points.

Activity: 1. Ask the participants to maintain the groupings that they have formed and ask them to discuss the stages of the sexual act and the practice of healthy and safe habits in sex. Guide them with the following questions: a. How to initiate and improve communication in sexual relationship b. What are the stages of the sexual act? c. What should a couple do or observe to achieve a mutually satisfying relationship? 2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint for presentation in the plenary.

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http://www.hidingthetruth.com/articles/do-women-really-hit-their-sexual-primein-their-30s.html

Processing: 1. Synthesize responses of participants by focusing first on the first questions and then to the second question. 2. Highlight commonalities and differences of their responses and provide or link them to your last key learning point. 3. Stress that knowing the above stages, it is important to know what one’s partner wants to do or how would you want him/her to behave so that one may achieve a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship. Application: 1. Ask the participants to pause for a moment and define the areas each one needs to work on to enhance one’s sexual life. 2. Then ask them to identify appropriate ways to strengthen their marital sex life. 3. Allow time for buzz session and end the session with a prayer.

STAGES OF THE SEX ACT (Copy on Acetate or big Brown Paper) 1. MUTUAL CONSENT is a pre-requisite to a good start and signals the readiness of both parties. 2. FOREPLAY involves kissing and fondling 3. AROUSAL of erogenous parts manifested by a fully erect penis for men and hardened nipples and vaginal secretion for women. 4. PENETRATION is the full entrance of the man’s penis into the woman’s vagina when both are already at the peak of desire. 5. COITUS is the physical joining of the couple’s bodies characterized by movement, which causes the penis to rub against the clitoris and vaginal wall and increase excitement of the partners. 6. ORGASM is the moment of intense sexual pleasure. In men, this is accompanied by ejaculation of semen. In women, it is marked by a sudden muscle contractions throughout the vaginal and clitoris. 7. RELAXATION sets in when the man’s penis becomes flaccid or soft after the sex act. 8. AFTER PLAY is an opportunity for the man and woman to affirm their affection for each other by kissing or embracing each other. They may say to each other “thank you” and or “I love you.”

Personal relationships deteriorate when what is needed and wanted is not expressed; the resulting frustrations build up and result in increasing anxiety and upset. This is particularly likely to occur with sexual relationships, when problems or disagreements about sexual issues are not discussed openly and honestly. If this is the case in your personal life, then here's how to go about improving matters 4

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http://www.trans4mind.com/relationships/page11.html

Break the Ice      

Talk with your partner about why it's hard to talk about sex. Share earlier experiences with talking about sex. Begin by discussing less threatening topics such as birth control, sex education, etc. Gradually move toward discussing more personal feelings and concerns. Read and discuss material if it seems easier than spontaneously talking about personal matters. Share your sexual histories including such areas as sex education, first experience with sexuality, etc.

Listen and Provide Feedback      

Active listening helps to show you are interested in what your partner is saying. Ask questions and make brief comments to help increase your understanding of what is being said. Maintaining eye contact displays caring and validation. Reflect back to your partner what you have understood them to say. This conveys active listening and an interest in understanding. Be supportive of your partner's efforts to communicate. A statement of appreciation or thanks can go a long way to strengthening a relationship. Express "unconditional positive regard." Convey the sense that you will value your partner regardless of what they communicate to you.

Discover Your Partner's Needs    

Ask open-ended, clarifying and extending questions to gain the most information about your companion's desires. Your partner will probably appreciate your concern. If the subject you are interested in is particularly sensitive, try selfdisclosing first. Self-disclosure will model trust and a willingness to take risks. Compare notes on sexual preferences. This can be an effective way of learning about what does and doesn't stimulate your partner, and is certainly more efficient than trial and error. Give your partner permission to talk about his/her feelings.

Learn To Make Requests   

Take responsibility for your own pleasure. Realize that people are not mind readers and genuinely communicate your needs and desires. Make requests specific. This will increase the chance that your wishes will be understood and granted. Use "I" language. Although it is sometimes difficult to personalize requests, it is often the best means of getting a positive response.

Delivering Criticism  

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Be aware of your motivation. Is it based on a constructive desire to make your relationship better? Choose the right time and place. Try not to be critical when anger is at its peak. Give your partner a choice about when he/she would like to talk. Be aware of your partner's needs when choosing a location. Temper criticism with praise. This will reduce the likelihood of your partner responding in a defensive or angry fashion, and increase the chances of him/her accepting what you have to say. Nurture small steps toward change. Be generous with your support and encouragement of change. Realize that it is normal to revert back to comfortable patterns which have developed over time, so don't be too discouraged if there is some backsliding. Avoid "why" questions. They tend to be perceived as attacking and hurtful. Better to say 'I don't understand...' Express your anger appropriately. Direct your anger toward your partner's behaviors, not his/her character. Don't forget to remind your partner that you appreciate them as a person. Take responsibility for your anger. Your partner cannot make you feel angry, you choose to respond that way.

The following are the accepted sexual conduct: (Copy as visual aid on acetate or cartolina) 1. Practice of personal hygiene. Couples should be aware that cleanliness is good health. Partners should observe good hygiene before going into sex. 2. Both partners must be certain that they are not infected with any sexually transmitted disease. The marital act deserves

respect and concern over the welfare of the partner. This concern tests the dignity of the relationship. 3. Prior to the sex act, both partners must recognize their respective responsibility to want, love and care for the offspring that may result from their union. Such recognition will assure that the child’s basic needs will be provided for. An unloved and unwanted child starts life without human dignity, which is his birthright. 4. The persons involved in the sex act should have a common goal or direction in life. The married act is one of the means to strengthen their relationship and commitment to the welfare of their family. 5. One partner should never exploit the other. Sexual relationship is for the mutual satisfaction of both partners. Never should it be degrading to anyone. Every sexual act therefore should be with mutual consent of the partners.

SESSION 5: Responsible Parenthood through Planned Family Size

Planning one’s family size is a step forward to ensuring responsible parenthood. Just how do we view ourselves as responsible parents in relation to how we plan the size of our families? In this session, we will take a look at what this really means.

Estimated Time: 1 ½ hours Objectives: Materials: The participants shall be able to: Old 1. Discuss the meaning of responsible Newspapers\and parenthood. magazines 2. Discuss the major philosophy and Cartolina concepts related to responsible parenthood. 3. Articulate the motivating and hindering factors in practicing responsible parenthood. Methodology: Collage-making Small group discussion Plenary presentation Key Learning Points:  

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Responsible parenthood refers to the will, ability and commitment of parents to respond to the needs and aspirations of the family and children more particularly through family planning. One concern of responsible parenthood is determining the number and spacing of their children taking into account such factors as psychological preparedness, health status, socio-cultural and economic concerns. The husband and wife should ensure the appropriate number of children the family can fully support with and provide the necessary needs such as physical/basic needs, emotional and psychological support, time and attention/interaction. The husband and wife should discuss and decide on the number of children that they should have depending on their financial capability, time and capability to provide care and attention to ensure that appropriate care shall be provided to their children.

Activity: 1. Divide the group into sub-groups 2. Ask them to brainstorm on the group’s definition of RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD and interpret this definition through a collage/picture cut outs or drawing. 3. Ask them to list down motivating forces in practicing Responsible Parenthood. 4. Ask them to list down resistance forces in practicing Responsible Parenthood.

5. Ask each group to present their output in the plenary. Processing: 1. Process the activity by asking them the following questions: a. What are the values behind Responsible Parenthood? b. How can fathers appreciate the value of Responsible Parenthood? c. How can fathers be motivated to practice Responsible Parenthood? 2. Use your key learning points to discuss the topic further then present the following: Motivating Factors in the Practice of Responsible Parenthood (Copy on acetate of big brown paper) a. For the Parent  A wish to improve skills in being a father  To save on expenses  To have more time for self/relaxation  To contribute to community welfare  Concern for one’s health  To remove fear for unwanted pregnancies  For personal/professional development  For greater control of one’s life b. Outside Forces  Motivator’s commitment  NGO/GO support  Community support  Family support  Socio-economic forces/realities Responsible Parenthood.

conducive

Hindering Factors in the Practice of Responsible Parenthood  Ignorance  Inadequate knowledge on effective parenting  Perception of children as security on old age  Perception of women role as “child bearer”  Past bad experiences  Fear of side effects  Apathy/passivity

to

Advantages of Child Spacing/Planned Family Size (Photocopy and give as handouts)       

Ensures the health of both mother and child. Employs time gainfully to meet the growing needs of your children. Ensures quality education of children. It allows more time and attention to nurture family relationship. Nutrition and food could be adequately meet. Enhances husband and wife relationship. Ensures adequate guidance and supervision of children in relation to desirable socio-cultural values.

Child Spacing – allows sufficient time between the birth of the last child and the new child so that the mother may rest and regain her health before the subsequent pregnancy.   

It is good for the parent who will still be able to enjoy each other’s companionship without too many small children incessantly demanding their attention. It gives the mother the opportunity to attend to her needs and provide for her own development. It is best for the baby who will get the care necessary in the first few years of his life without a younger sibling competing with him/her for the limited, effort and resources of his parents.

MODULE IV FATHERS AS CHILD CAREGIVER

SESISON 1: Understanding the Developmental Stages of Children Your vital role as a father in child-rearing process is beginning to be valued. Therefore there is a need to give more emphasis in the changes in your role that will be necessary if you are to further fulfill your parental roles and responsibilities. In this session, we will be discussing on what you should know as a father on how your children grow. Estimated Time: 2 hours Objective: The participants shall be able to discuss and understand the stages of psychosocial development of children. Methodology: Workshop Lecture-Discussion Audio-visual presentation Key Learning Points: (Copy on Manila paper)] Health Process of Development 0-2 (Infancy) - The child has needs for food, love, rest, recreation, security and stimulation. If these needs are met, they develop trust in others, feel valued and have sense that life is good-HOPE. 2-3 (Early Childhood) - Child discovers control of himself through bladder and vowel, saying “no” in choosing certain foods, etc. The child develops sense of autonomy – WILL 3-6 (Play Age) - Child discovers that he can “do things”, climbs, draws, puzzles together, goes to school, develops friendships. Make things

through crafts. The child develops initiative and a sense of belief in himself that he can create and be successful – SENSE OF PURPOSE. 6-12 (School Age) - The child discovers he is part of society. He can be part of human society and learn skills that enable him to survive in society. The child develops industry; has sense that he has a valuable contribution to others – COMPETENCE. 12-19 (Adolescence) - The child discovers his unique values and personality – even within a group of peers and adults; chooses a career. The man develops sense of identity, a sense of relating to others as he is accepting and caring for others – FIDELITY. 19-40 (Young Adult) - Adult discovers his life becomes better when he can share and love; chooses partner and has children – LOVE. 40-65 (Adult) Discovers that he has life in others, has grandchildren, enjoys and reaps benefit of parenting and working. Develops generosity, sense that he has made a positive contribution to the life process – CARE. 65-death (Mature Age) Adult discovers he has had what he wanted in life, feels contented and satisfied with life process. Develops integrity, a sense of getting old, coming to terms with death, feel life is worthwhile – WISDOM. Unhealthy Process of Development 0-2 (Infancy) - Child does not get needs met. Feels hungry, cold and abandoned – MISTRUST. 2-3 (Early Childhood) - Child is punished for wetting, soling his pants, child is yelled at or abused for not behaving – SHAME AND DOUBT. 3-6 (Play Age) - Child is rarely praised; only putdown remarks and/or punished or ignored/abused. Normal curiosity is discouraged and mistakes are punished – GUILT. 6-12 (School Age) - Child never belongs to anyone. He is not wanted – is not allowed opportunities to develop friendships; abilities are criticized – INFERIORITY.

12-19 (Adolescence) - Child misunderstood – abused, cannot develop values or goals; spend energy in rebelling against family and society – ROLE CONFUSION. 19-40 (Young Adult) - Cannot form successful relationships with others, and is promiscuous or/and a sense of ISOLATION is developed. 40-65 (Adult) - Experiences disappointments – no enjoyment in past life – wishes to begin ones STAGNATION 65-death (Mature Age) Knows he did not get what he want out of life – is depressed, sad and sometimes very ill and in DESPAIR.

Activity: 1. Ask the participants to make groups of six to eight members. 2. Give each group a set of brown paper and marking pens. 3. Ask them to talk about milestones on the developmental stages in terms of cognitive, language, social, and physical development of children. 4. Ask them to draw a ladder on a big brown paper with each step of the ladder assigned to the following/corresponding age levels.  0-2 years old (Infancy)  2-3 years old (Early Childhood)  3-6 years old (Play Age)  6-12 years old (School Age)  12-19 (years old (Adolescence) 5. Provide the following guide questions for the group discussions:  What were my needs as a child in each stage of development?  Did my parents fulfill these needs?  How did I behave in each stage of development? 6. Ask the participants to write their answers on the ladder they drew. 7. Ask them to take turns in presenting their group outputs.

Processing: 1. After the plenary presentations, allow open discussion and sharing, as this will help fathers internalize the topic. 2. Take note of the highlights of their report and write them on the board to emphasize important ideas and details in the topic. 3. Elicit learning from the participants in the activity and synthesize, providing important ideas using your key learning points. Application: 1. End the session by asking the participants to do free writing exercise expressing how a father would evaluate the growth and developmental of their children. 2. Call on volunteers to read aloud what they wrote.

SESSION 2: Responding to the Growth and Development Needs of Children and Adolescents Early childhood is a time of tremendous growth across all areas of development. The dependent newborn grows into a young person who can take care of his or her own body and interact effectively with others.5 On the other hand, the Adolescence stage happens from thirteen up to nineteen years of age and it is considered as the transition stage between the childhood and adulthood stage. In this stage, the sex maturation happens and physical developments rapidly occur; the individual feels, think and act differently.6

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http://education.stateuniversity.com/pages/1826/Child-Development-StagesGrowth.html

Today, psychologists have come to agree that fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development. 7

Estimated Time: 90 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to talk about ways to respond to the growth and development needs of their children and adolescents.

Materials: Manila paper Transparencies Pen markers Masking tape

Methodology: Workshop, Role Playing Lecture-discussion Key Learning Points: (Photocopy and give as handouts) Paternal Response to 0-1 years old children  Feel relax in doing something new  Avoid mistakes of other fathers – Don’t wait for them to get older before you get emotionally involved  Be involved as soon as she/he is born  Getting involved means helping the child meet his basic needs  Help develop child self-concept  Assist child in exploring his own environment  Allow and encourage the child to freely do things in a stimulating environment  Provide the necessary calm understanding to the aggressive nature of the little child  Include books as definite part of his/her play material  Adapt your house and backyard into a suitable and safe environment  Provide attention and praise good behavior

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http://expertscolumn.com/content/different-stages-human-development http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/fathers.php

Paternal Response to 2-3 years old children  Provide sympathy and listen well to your wife to release her stress and exasperation in caring for your 2-3 year old child  Be flexible with rules and limits until he/she is emotionally mature  Encourage child to express feeling and help set reasonable limits  Use feedback techniques to set limits and ease stress  Start to toilet rain your child  Provide stimulating activities for language development  Enjoy the fun and love offered by the child – this strengthens the bond between you. Paternal Response to 4-6 years old children  Play with your child. Your child will learn that you can be strong and yet not too rough to hurt others and you can get excited too.  Ignore negative talks and attitude.  Introduce fascinating word/activity that will catch the attention of your child.  Overcome emotional blockage – be at ease in dealing with child’s question on sex.  Be patient and acknowledge “family romance”, a phenomenon when children first become independent of their parent’s authority; this will be outgrown when she/he is mature to sort out reality from fantasyoffer tender rejection.8  Spend more time with your child – for your son. Give him time and attention so your son can learn to model himself from you, and your daughter, can fill in a healthy image of man.  Help/assist your child acquire a repertoire of basic learning skills such as helpful articles, games and workshops – these help achieve intellectual development.  Don’t be critical of whatever your child can achieve – every child is unique and learns by their own phase.  When all these are achieved, primary socialization is achieved and the child will have a strong self-concept, healthy personality structure – necessary for having a sense of self-esteem and a strong sense of self-identity. Paternal Response to 6-11 Years Old Children  Provide emotional support. This serves as an important ally in his/her struggle to learn how to cope with the grown up world.  Spend more time with your son so he can incorporate you as his ideal figure to imitate. 8

http://thomaslcummins.tripod.com/id132.html

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Your daughter needs time with you so she can learn to relate with you and with other males. This is the time to establish a positive relationship. Train the child to have a regular time and place to study. Don’t show any jealousy formed with any close relationship he/she has. Learn that unpleasant habits are part of middle childhood and will be outgrown with paternal understanding and discipline. Lecturing/scolding in front of other people embarrasses them and leads them to feel inadequate and resentful. Learn to praise your child; it’s the greatest reward or reinforcement. Get into the habit of on the lookout for behavior you can praise. Be a model. Your values and attitudes are absorbed strongly in this period and passed on to your child. Understand that your child needs a peer group. A peer group provides a place free of adult influence. It helps your child exercise his acquired socialization skills. Prepare a place for peer group and teach him/her to handle teasing and insults.

Paternal Response to 12-15 Years Old Children  Realize that unpleasant behavior is temporary and is a normal process.  Show your son the ways that you would like them to be as adult. Spend time with him; he will learn much more from what you do than from what you say.  Spend time with your daughter. This will help her feel good about being female if she sees that you enjoy your time with her.  Avoid parental counter hysterics; a father’s role is to provide a calm response.  Keep cool and don’t turn minor problems into major ones.  Be patient and try not to respond to the provocative behavior of your adolescent child.  Provide growth opportunities where the wild behavior of preadolescent can emerge safely.  Respect your youngster new found independence; move up to their development stage.  Don’t take any form of rebellion too personally. Understand that their feelings and thought fluctuate from day to day, week to week as they crave for independence as well as maintain dependence.  Understand that crying is an appropriate response to deep feelings.  Adjust to new sexuality of the child. “Family Romance” may reappear but she/he will outgrow it.

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Strengthen the bond by meeting the emotional needs of the child. This is your safeguard for outside temptation. Maintain an open, genuine and two-way communication. As early as possible, provide accurate information on drugs; never accuse and/or play detective or punitive but be evaluative and seek dialogue. If need be, seek professional help.

Paternal Response to 16 Years Old to Young Adulthood  Keep the lines of communication open. Talk of your feelings as well so that your children will learn that it is all right for men to talk about feelings. Talk about when you are sad and happy.  Be a sounding board via the feedback technique for his/her adolescent perspective.  Help select his/her vocation based on your child’s personal inclination, interest, capabilities as well as your present economic status.  Respect their privacy.  Tell your child or let your child know your stand with regard to sexual attitudes, behaviors and ideas.  Be a comfortable support to the child.  Allowing him/her to his/her own thing; you will just remain in the background to give a feeling of security.  You should be able and should maintain a non-judgmental attitude when crises arise.  Provide a firm stand but lovingly on sensitive matters. You should be clear of your stand insuring that they will learn to be mature enough in their decision-making. This will lead them into stable life and make them become loving, independent and productive individuals. Activity: 1. Organize three main groups of six to eight members each (when possible, do consider fathers with children directly related the age group assigned to them i.e. Early Childhood (0-6 years old); Middle Childhood (6-10 years old) and Adolescence (11-18 years old). 2. Ask the participants to select a group leader and a reporter. 3. Ask each group to discuss using the following questions: a. What are the needs of children corresponding to the age level assigned to your group? (Use previous group output for reference) b. What behavioral characteristics do you observe? c. Did you respond to the above behavioral characteristics? If yes, how?

d. What stimulating activities or support activities have you given to your child to help him/her cope with his developmental challenges? 4. Once done, ask the group to role-play the behavioral characteristics they observed in their own children at the particular age group assigned to them as well as the stimulating activities that they do to support their children’s growth and development. 5. Ask the group to present in a plenary.

Note to Facilitator: The facilitator may include session/tips on paternal response in handling children with disabilities

Processing: 1. Ask the following questions: a. Were the actions and responses of fathers conducive to the growth and development of their children? b. What are the negative reactions or responses we THE SCULPTOR give to our children that By: Author, Unknown hinder their process of development? I took a piece of plastic clay c. What are the problems you And idly fashioned it, one day encounter in responding to And as my fingers pressed it still the developmental stages of It moved and yielded to my will your children? d. How do you overcome I came again when days were passed them? That bit of clay was hard at last e. What do you do to help your The form I gave I still it bore child develop fully? And I could change that form no more 2. Provide the handouts and Then I took a piece of living clay engage the trainees into further And gently formed it day by day discussion. And molded with my power and art A young child’s soft and yielding heart Application: 1. Stress that the fathers are key I came again when years were gone players in providing care, It was a man I looked upon guidance, and direction during He still that early impress bore the psychosocial development And I could change it no more. of their children.

2. End the session with the poem at the inset. SESSION 3: Raising Children in Gender Sensitive Ways The way we raise our children formed the roles that children will perform throughout their adult life. In our own family, how do we distribute tasks and functions in the home with our sons and daughter? If it is a male child, what do you expect of him to be, and if it will be a female, what do you expect of her to be. In this session we will be discussing differences on the way we raise our sons and daughters Estimated Time: 90 minutes Objective: The Participants shall be able to discuss how Filipino parents raise their children in ways that socialize them into their gender identities and roles. Materials: Manila paper Transparencies Methodology: Pen markers Brainstorming Masking tape Group Sharing Lecture/Discussion Key Learning Points (Copy on manila paper and use as visual aids)   

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Socialization refers to complex process of learning behaviours considered appropriate and not appropriate with a given culture. Family - is the primary socialization agent. Gender behaviour is developed and is mirrored in the family in six socialization areas: - Parental preferences - Role expectation - Manner of raising - Preference for investment of resources - Type of differential responsibilities - Parental modelling Gender socialization process is between 5-10 years old.

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Gender segregation, e.g. boys are not allowed to play with girls, boys can play kites and balls, while girls can only play with dolls and bahay-bahayan, boys enjoy more freedom while girls tend to receive more restrictions, and boys are allowed to be more aggressive. Adolescent Stage – parents are extra careful to girls, more restraint but they allow boys to go home late. Responsibility – while both girls and boys are into economic activities, girls are more focused on childcare and boys are given some of household works.

What can parents do?  Develop the attitude that children should be valued equally regardless of gender.  Daughters should be loved and cherished as much as your sons, not just for their functional contributions to the family but also for their own unique personalities and capabilities.  Maintain gender free expectations to all family members.  Encourage the views that both of them can achieve their highest potentials.  Provide equal time and play, leisure and relaxation for both boys and girls.  Adopt gender free rules.  Ensure same opportunities for both of them.  Abolish distinctions between a man and a woman’s work.  Provide role models where mother and father can both be assertive and nurturing.  Build up boys’ interest and capabilities to care for children.  As fathers, increase your participation in parental delivery, and early child development. Activity: 1. Make two main groups and ask them to respond and share their different views on the following: a. If you were going to have your first baby, what would you prefer, a male or a female baby? b. What are the roles you expect from your son? From your daughter? c. How do you raise your son? How do you raise your daughter? d. Do you care more on your son? Or do you care more for your daughter? 2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint. 3. Ask each group to report their output in the plenary.

4. Allow reactions and comments from other participants as each group reports in the plenary. Processing: 1. Engage the participants into discussion by asking the following questions:  How and why did you come up with such child preference in your family?  How are these roles manifested in the way you raised your child?  Why do you think we adhere to these differences in the roles we give to our sons and daughters? 2. Direct the discussion using your Key Learning Points and allow time for more questions and clarifications. Application: 1. Ask the participants to answer this question individually (ask them to write their answers)” “How would I raise my son so that he can become nurturing father in his own children someday?” 2. Ask the participants to write their answers on metacards and to attach them on their chest. 3. Ask the participants to move around to share it with other participants. 4. End the session with a song or a prayer.

SESSION 4: Responding to Child’s Rights and Responsibilities

This session will discuss the rights of the child. Fathers should be aware and should recognize that there are basic rights of the child, which are written under the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Estimated Time: 1 hour Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Explain the rights of the child. 2. Discuss the four broad areas covered by the Convention on the Rights of the Child. 3. List the responsibilities of Fathers and adults towards children. Methodology: Brainstorming, group discussion, matching game

Materials: Illustration of child at the Centre of Society (Child Friendly Movement) Poster of the Convention on the Rights of the child Flipchart containing words of “Sampung Mga Karapatan” Manila paper Masking tape Pentel pens Cards marked “A”, “B” and “C”

Key Learning Points:  The Convention on the Rights of the child (CRC) states that a child is a person under 18 years old, unless national laws recognize the age of majority earlier.  CRC is an international instrument ratified in 1990 by most member countries of the United Nations.  The CRC sets minimum standards for parents; NGOs, civil society and governments must commit in ensuring that children realize their rights.  Parents are primarily responsible in fulfilling the rights of the child for children’s optimum growth and development.  Parents should help their children understand and exercise their rights.  The rights of the child can be summarized as follow:

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The right to be born, to have a name and nationality. The right to have a family to take care of him or her. To have a good education. To develop his or her full potential. To have enough food, shelter. To have a healthy and active body. To learn good manners and right conduct. To be given the opportunity to play and have leisure. To be given protection against abuse, danger and violence.

 To live in a peaceful community.  To be defended and assisted by the government.  To be able to express his/her views. 

The rights of the child can be clustered into four broad categories:  Survival  The rights of the child for him and her to live. These include food, health, shelter and clothing.  Development  The rights of the child for him or her to attain his full potential. These include education, rest and recreation, spiritual activity, and love and care.  Protection  The rights of the child for him to be supported and protected. These include protection from mental, physical or sexual abuse, neglect and exploitation.  Participation  The rights of the child, which will enable him to express his feelings and thoughts. These include his or her right to speak his or her own opinion; to have access to good and important information; to be with his or her own peers; and his or her rights to a name and nationality which he or she needs to be identified as a member of a family, community or a society.

Activity: 1. Engage the participants into preliminary discussion by reminding them of the previous session where you talked about the development of children and the consequent paternal responses. 2. Stress that in this session you will now talk about a very important thing in the life of each child that is the rights of a child. 3. Stressed that it is the right of every child to be cared for and that fathers are very important persons in recognizing these rights. 4. Then form three main groups and ask them to prepare a presentation using any form of creative media showing ways that can hinder Child’s Rights. 5. Each group presents as you jot down all their answers on a flipchart or blackboard (key words only). 6. Recap your list by showing the poster on the Rights of the Child.

7. To make fathers participate more actively, you ask different volunteers to read a line from the poster. 8. Point out the rights, which may have been missed by the fathers during their enumeration of Child Rights. 9. Move to the next point on who should uphold the rights of the child. 10. Ask the following question: “If these are the rights of the child, who do you think are responsible in fulfilling the rights of the child?” 11. Again, list all the possible answers. 12. Recap by showing the enlarged version of the illustration showing a Child at the Centre of a Society. Processing: 1. Form three groups and ask the following questions for the group to answer: “What do you think are the top two rights not met by most children in your community?” Which rights do you as a father supports the most?” 2. Allow time for the groups to discuss and write their answers on Manila paper. 3. Post the answers and ask a representative from each group to explain the outputs. 4. Allow more time for insights and other learning. Application: 1. Conduct a group game. 2. Place three chairs (3) marked clearly with “A”, “B”, and “C” in front of the group. 3. Ask all fathers to participate in the game by lining up behind the marked chair. (The correct answer are underlined for your guidance): a. In the Philippines, a child is anyone below: A. 15 B.18 C 13 b. The Convention on the Rights of the Child (Kasunduan ng Karapatan ng Bawat Bata) was ratified by most countries who are members of the United Nations in the year: A. 1990 B. 1989 C. 1985 c. Under he Convention on the Rights of the Child, the fulfilment of the rights of the children is primarily the responsibility of the: A. Schools B. Government C. Parents d. Which of these is not part of the Rights of the Child: A. To be able to express his or her views B. To have his or her own name and nationality

C. To work so that his or her family can live better. e. To make the various rights of the child more understandable, the rights can be clustered into how many basic categories: A. Five B. Four C. Nine 4. Deepen the experience by asking: “How can you inform other fathers about the rights of the child? What would be your difficulties in sharing the rights of the child with other fathers in your community? What do you suggest in order to overcome these difficulties?” 5. End the session by showing the flipchart of “Mga Karapatan Ko” to the tune of “Sampung Mga Daliri.”

THE SONG Mga karapatan ko Apat ang saklaw nyan Mabuhay ng matiwasay Umunlad ng mahusay Proteksyon sa panganib Isali’t pakinggan Karapatan, ipaglaban Ng mga magulang

MODULE V PROMOTING FAMILY SPIRITUALITY

SESSION 1: Fathers as Spiritual Leaders Try to look back at your past and look at your present situation. Do you think you can be proud of yourself for the rest of your life? Do you have that inner confidence, inner love, peace and trust emanating from your enduring faith in God? What have you done to yourself as spiritual being in the context of your role as a father? And just what do you think does it take for you to be kind of father we need to be in order to provide the most wholesome and spiritually rich home in which your children’s souls might be unfolded.

Estimated Time: 45 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Reflect and talk about the important role as spiritual leaders in the family. 2. Visualize a father’s role as spiritual leader in the family.

Materials: Reflective Instrumental Song Flip Chart paper, pens and markers, Crayons and big brown paper

Methodology: Individual Reflection Buzz Group Discussion Key Learning Points: (Copy the highlighted headings on the flipchart paper) The father as a spiritual leader As a father, he has a responsibility to guide every member of the family and family life as a whole to be able to raise spiritual children. Family Spirituality It is the synergistic by product of all the interpersonal dynamics between parent and child, child and siblings and spouse and spouse. This can be characterized by a strong bond among family members-healthy relationships with love, support, guidance and a sense of shared identity.

It generates and energizes spiritual power making us become more trusting and hopeful to pursue things despite occurrence of obstacles. It gives us a clear vision of life and its meaning. It gives sympathetic understanding to a nagging wife, domineering husband, troublesome children and meddling neighbors. Family life is your spiritual life – seeking together, ritualizing together, learning and teaching peace. Activity: 1. Ask participants to individually reflect guided by the following questions (facilitator may play a soft music): a. Am I the spiritual leader of my family? b. How do I manifest spiritual leadership in my family? c. What spiritual activities do we do in our own family that helps promote trust and unity in our relationship? d. What are the hindrances in fulfilling our spiritual activities? e. What actions to we take to address these hindrances? 2. Provide them with paper and pens to write their reflections. 3. After the participants complete the individual work, make three main groups and ask them to share their responses with one another. 4. Ask each group to assign a reporter to write highlights and a leader to facilitate the group sharing. 5. Each group to take turns in presenting a summary of their reflections. Processing: 1. Take note of all key messages in the output of the participants and write them on the board. 2. Allow sharing of experiences, ideas and hopes to deepen the discussion on this topic. 3. Discuss further using your key learning points. Application: 1. Provide art materials (crayons and big brown paper) and ask the groups to draw murals of how fathers can play their roles as family spiritual leaders. 2. Post murals around the room like a gallery. 3. Allow time and encourage each one to view the three murals.

SESSION 2: Raising Your Children to be of High Spiritual Values Children have their own thoughts and feelings. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have their own wishes and dreams in life as well as fears. But this need not stop the fathers from continuing seeking dialogue and quiet moments with their children. Fathers need to give a specialized attention to his wife or children when pressing problems abound. They need to be supported, taught and guided as to how father can achieve their role in enriching the life of his family members. Estimated Time: 1 hour Objective: The participants shall be able to identify ways to help children grow with high spiritual values. Methodology: Workshop/Discussion Role Playing

Materials: Flipchart paper Pens Markers handouts

Key Learning Points: What can fathers do to raise spiritual children and family? (Copy the highlighted headings on Flip paper, or photocopy and distribute as handouts.) a. Lead the family in prayer Prayer preserves the family. It forges a vision of spirit. It has curative effects that lead one to forgive and acknowledge his own misdeeds and weaknesses, thus impatience will lead to sympathetic understanding to a nagging wife, domineering husband, troublesome children and meddling neighbors. b. Lead and build spiritual family lives c. Start Early. Teach your child as early as possible in appreciating God through prayer and singing.

d. Tell the truth. Don’t be afraid to show your pains. Be honest with your feelings and thoughts. e. Do good. Your child will learn to be good based on your dealings with other people. f. Wear your spirituality on your sleeve and not on your chest where you put your ID for display. g. Undertake indoor/outdoor fun for the family. This will provide relaxing moments to all the members of the family. h. Undertake community service, as this will promote concern and respect to other people. Activity: 1. Make five main groups. 2. Ask them to work on the following questions: a. What are the best ways to teach and raise my children spiritual values? b. How can fathers teach their children to become more responsible? 3. Allow time for the group to answer and present their outputs using role play. Processing: 1. Ask participants how they feel and what they think about the presentations. 2. Discuss further using your key learning points. Application: 1. Direct the participants to the empty flip chart paper and ask them to list down as many activities to undertake to promote family spirituality. 2. Ask them to individually choose which among the lists are doable daily, weekly or in special periods. 3. Give out paper and pens for them to make their planned spiritual activity schedules.

MODULE VI FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PROMOTION OF PEACE IN THE FAMILY

SESSION 1: Understanding Family Violence The thrust of the government in addressing the problem of family violence is a part of the worldwide effort in support to the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) and the Convention on the Elimination and Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW. In this session, we shall look at how fathers can become champions in preventing family violence.

Estimated Time: 1 ½ hours Objective: The participants shall be able to discuss how violence evolves in the family and how this affects the members. Methodology: Brainstorming Short Lecture Discussion

Materials: Cartolina or metacards Pen markers Manila paper Old Magazines and Newspapers Scissors Paste

Key Learning Points: 

Violence in the family occurs and is a serious problem in the country today. It refers to the act committed with the deliberate or perceived intention of hurting another person particularly to children, women and older persons.

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The cause of violence in the family includes:  Lack of emotional empathy/failure to see/feel pain  Relation problems acquired during childhood/ intergenerational  Belief as “ordinary” and “normative” act  Narrow view of violence

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It presents serious abuse of power within the family, trust or dependency relationship. It comes in different forms such as:

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Physical Abuse – is any act that result in inflicted injury to any member of the family Sexual Abuse – is any act or acts that result in the sexual exploitation of children, women and older people. Emotional/Psychological Abuse – is any act or omission that results in impaired psychological, social, intellectual and or emotional functioning and development of a child, a woman or older person. Economic Abuse - as making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding one's access to money, or forbidding one's attendance at school or employment. Neglect – is any act of omission that results in impaired social functioning, injury, and/or development of a child of a young person. Multiple Abuse – is any act that is a combination of the various types of abuse inflicted to a child, a woman or any member of a family that results in physical injury, sexual exploitation, impaired social functioning and danger to life of the person.

Family violence is a serious social problem that affects not only the family but the community as well. It often remains a hidden problem in the family, which has long lasting effects on the victims particularly on their personality. Victims of family violence are usually the children, women and older people.

Activity: You may do any of the three activities: 1. Inquire about the participants’ own understanding of the concept of family violence and allow time for the participants to make a list of observed and/or experienced forms of family violence in the community and list all their responses on the board. Or: 2. Give each of the participant sheets of paper or Cartolina to write their responses and have all their responses posted on the board. Or: 3. Ask them to make a collage about a family violence. Processing: 1. Based on the responses of the participants, ask them to categorize the different types of abuses they find in their home

and in their community. Elicit responses on the following questions: a. Who do you think are the perpetrators of violence in the family? b. Why do you think these forms of abuses are occurring in your community? c. What effect do you think will it have on your children? 2. Write all the responses on the board and write key messages on family violence, using your Key Learning Points.

Application: 1. Group the participants into 2 or 3 groups and ask them to identify ways to prevent family violence at home. 2. Ask the groups to present their outputs in creative media presentation i.e. song, dance, pantomime and poem.

SESSION 2: Preventing Violence in the Home Fathers as male species are naturally aggressive and are easily provoked to anger. When you are angry you are in stress – that means you lose balance in your thinking and emotional state. To prevent the consequence of that imbalance feeling and thought, one need to manage his/her feelings so he/she can devise way to control one’s feelings particularly when one is in anger state. Otherwise, the strong feeling of anger will have to be released to the people around him/her particularly his/her family and hurt the people he/she loved. Estimate Time: 1 ½ hours Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss the importance of the need to prevent violence in the home. 2. Discuss anger management as a way to prevent violence in the family.

Materials: Reflective instrumental music on tape Tape recorder

Methodology: Individual exercise Lecture Discussion Key Learning Points:  Anger requires so much attention. It brings chaos into familial relationships and hurt peoples’ lives even worse destroy the family or marital bond, unity and stability.  When conflict occurs particularly between couple we experience feelings such as frustration, defeat, embarrassment, guilt or insecurity. A secondary feeling of anger usually follows these feelings. And when this occurs, it must be given attention. It must not be ignored, avoided and kept secret or suppressed. Otherwise, it will take root and be acted out in negative and unhealthy ways.  Anger though can be controlled and managed. It is within our means to do something about it. Hence when you are angry, you may do the following: o Understand the roots of your anger by focusing less in the person but on your feeling and ponder on the situation that caused your anger. o Recognize your anger style by determining whether your act is aggravating more to your feeling of anger and that either you are hurting more yourself or the people around you. o Learn tools and techniques to control your anger positively such as walking away from the situation for a while and letting things cool down, positive self-talk as “I know I am angry but I will calm my self down”. o Redirect your feeling of anger to positive or productive tasks such as listening to music, cutting the grass or washing the dishes. o Release your feeling of anger internally through visualization. o Release your anger in safe and supportive environment. o Fare and resolve the anger of your past. If an issue occurs never go to sleep or never let one day pass without resolving the conflict. You may cool down for a while but work on your conflict as soon as you can. However, when someone is angry at you or at the situation, you may also do the following:  Listen carefully and don’t interrupt. Always let the angry person vents his/her anger and frustration.  Focus your full attention on the person. Always establish eye contact. Don’t divide your attention by trying to do something else.

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Control your emotions by remaining calm and avoiding the temptation to engage in an argument. Apologize if necessary if it is your fault. Do not try to defend yourself rather let the other person see your affirmation and recognition of your fault. Solve the problem immediately if necessary. Your wife and children will appreciate you so much and regard you positively.

Activity: 1. Divide the participants into two groups. 2. Ask one group to work on defining the different steps in managing one’s own anger and the other group on identifying activities in coping with other people’s anger. 3. Remind the groups that each participant will write as many answers on the board. 4. Acknowledge the group who yields the most responses. An alternate methodology is through meditation exercise by asking the participants the following questions: 1. What specific experience or situation angers you most? 2. How did you respond/handle your anger? 3. How did you express your anger? 4. What effect did it have to the people you love? Processing: 1. Process the activity by checking the responses and allow time for confirmation or validation 2. Elicit insights and learning whether they can prevent or minimize any form of abuse or violence if they manage and control their anger using the following questions: a. Will you really be able to control occurrence of abuse in the family if you control or manage your anger? b. What are the other ways to handle your anger inside the home? 3. Synthesize the session using your key learning points. Application: 1. Play the instrumental music and ask the participants to listen. 2. Ask each to recall the past conflict he had with his wife or his children and identify positive ways to respond to anger. 3. Encourage them to share reflections with any participant one feels comfortable with

SESSION 3: The Father’s Role in Preventing Family Violence in the Community Fathers have a role in preventing family violence in the community. They have the key role in leading the family. They serve as role models in the family. How can fathers serve as advocate in the prevention of family violence in their community? Estimated Time: 1 hour Objective: The participants shall be able to develop interest and take an active role in the prevention of family violence in the community. Methodology: Workshop Lecture – discussion Alternate methodology: drama

Creative

Media/Radio

Materials: Cartolina or acetate visual aid Handouts Child’s Rights Poster

Key Learning Points: Fathers as Advocate in the Prevention of Child Abuse/Violence on the Homes (Copy on big Manila paper and photocopy as handouts)      

Participate in activities that enhance potential capabilities of fathers. Respect each child’s rights and provide wholesome family life habits. Pay attention to your child and wife always and take time to be an accommodating and understanding listener. Participate and be concerned in the prevention of child abuse and family violence in the community. Organize a neighborhood association of families on the prevention of child abuse and family violence. Report cases of child abuse and other forms of violence in the family in our community to the nearest police headquarters and barangays or concerned agencies.

Activity: 1. Ask participants to make small groups of six to seven members per group. 2. Provide materials to each group of participants and ask them to appoint a leader and a reporter, with the following questions as guide: a. How should I treat my child to prevent them from being abused in our family? b. How should I treat my wife to prevent her from being abused in our family? c. What we ought to do to maintain harmonious relationship and treatment with one another? d. How can I contribute in preventing family violence in the community? 3. Ask the group to present their outputs through creative media or radio drama to elicit interest and achieve participation in the discussion of this topic? 4. Write key words on metacards while the groups are presenting their outputs creatively. Processing: 1. Synthesize and acknowledge responses of fathers, which you wrote on metacards. 2. Focus on detailing out specific activities that fathers can do into two categories – family and community – in preventing children from becoming victims of abuse. 3. Present and discuss your key learning points. Application: 1. Divide the participants into three main groups and ask them to read the poster of Child’s Rights. 2. Ask the three groups to work on the theme: “Fathers as advocate on the Rights of the Children”. 3. Ask them to create either a role-play presentation or a song (“palit-awit”) by asking them to identify a very familiar song and change its lyrics to infuse their theme. 4. Ask each group to present their creative outputs.

MODULE VII FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING A DRUG-FREE HOME

SESSION 1: Understanding Substance Abuse Government also focuses its thrust in preventing the proliferation of drugs and other forms of substance abuse through the Comprehensive Dangerous Drug Act of 2002 (RA 9165). This law calls for the formulation of the National Anti-Drug Program of Action. DSWD also sees the importance of involving families in the community in the prevention of drug abuse. The parents, fathers particularly, have very important roles in promoting a drug free home. Estimated Time: 1 hour Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss the substance abuse/misuse; and 2. Discuss the different causes and effects of substance abuse.

Materials: Old newspapers And magazines Paste Newsprint Scissors

Methodology Brainstorming Collage Making Key Learning Points: (Copy and make into a Flip Chart) A. Basic Drug Terms: Drug/Substance Addiction Means that the person’s whole life is devoted to buying and taking drugs and it usually applies to those who are regular, heavy users of drugs such as heroin or cocaine and other substance such as cigarettes and alcohol. Drug/Substance Tolerance As people take more of a drug and other forms of substance the body can adapt to tolerate increased amounts. This means larger doses or amount are needed to get an effect. This can happen with many different drugs and other forms of substance.

Dependency It is a strong compulsion to keep taking drugs. Physical dependency results from the repeated, heavy use of drugs like heroin, tranquillizers and alcohol. These drugs can change the body chemistry for example; if someone does not get a repeat dose they suffer physical withdrawal symptoms – the shakes and flu-like effects. They have to keep taking the drug just to stop themselves from feeling ill. Psychological dependency is more common and can happen with any drug. In this case people get into the drug experience as a way of coping with the world or as a way of feeling OK. They feel they could not cope without drugs even though they may not be physically dependent.

Withdrawal Symptoms These are the unpleasant symptoms such as head pain, dizziness, shakes, sleeplessness and flu-like effects as a result of stopping longterm use of certain drugs, like alcohol, heroin and tranquilizers. B. Types of Drugs/Substances Commonly Abused/Misused. Caffeine – Commonly found in soft drinks, coffee and tea. Mild stimulation and if for the most part harmless to people, except for its addicting nature. It causes:  Insomnia  Restlessness  Anxiety  Increase in heart rate  Possible irregularities in the heart  Heavy coffee drinkers are more prone to develop coronary heart disease. Nicotine – Tobacco and cigarettes are the most common forms of taking nicotine. It causes:  High risks to the lungs, heart, blood and nervous system that can cause respiratory failure, general paralysis, lung cancer, chronic bronchitis, emphysema and cardiovascular disease.  Passive smoking can be harmful to children.  Pregnant women who smoke may harm the fetus.

ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES CREATING PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE Cocaine – White crystalline powder derived from coca plant is the most potent natural stimulant. It causes:  Risk of death in the form of heart attack or stroke from excessive use.  Seizure.  Cerebral hemorrhage. Ice/Shabu – Tiny, ice-like crystals designed to be smoked. This substance lasts 8 to 16 hours. It causes:  Fatal lung and kidney disorders  Long lasting psychological damage. Depressants such as amphetamines and crack – Drugs used for the depression of his/her central nervous system that literally stimulate or excite the user’s central nervous system. With prolonged use, the user becomes:  Sluggish, with impaired judgment  Slurred speech  Loss of Motor Coordination  Feeling of anxiety  Vomiting, Loss of Appetite  Increased heart rate, profuse sweating  Convulsions Alcohol – Among the many forms are: Beers made from grain through brewing and fermentation contains 3-8% alcohol, and up to 21% when fortified by adding alcohol; Distilled beverages such as whisky, gin and vodka contain 40-50% alcohol. Drinkers become physically addicted and develop tolerance quickly.  Impaired judgment  Slurred speech  Loss of motor skills  Difficulty in controlling emotions  Digestive-system disorders such as cancer of the mouth, throat and esophagus, gastritis, ulcers, cirrhosis of the liver, and inflammation of the pancreas.  Disorders of the nervous system such as neuritis, lapse of memory (blackout), hallucinations and extreme tremors.  Pregnant women who drink heavily may give birth to infants with face and body abnormalities.

Barbiturates, Quaaludes (Hallucinogens) – Hallucinogenic drugs act on the central nervous system by distorting auditor, tactile and visual perceptions of reality. Users have the ability to “hear sights” and “see sounds”. Users….  Develop tolerance  “Coming Down” is of negative and depressive nature of “bad trip” that may manifest itself in the form of suicidal tendencies. MDMA (Methylenedioxymethamphetamine) – or known by its street names: “Ecstasy”, XTC, Eve and Essence – popular in urban areas especially to college students. Studies have shown that it temporarily destroys the nerve endings in animals and may cause permanent brain damage in the long run. Other very dangerous drugs are: LSD, Peyote, and Mescaline, PCP, Psilocybin Mushrooms.

C. Drug/Substance Dangers and Consequences General Risks will depend on: 1. How much is taken? 2. How strong the dose is, for example, two ecstasy tablets, which look the same, may have very different doses in them? 3. How often it is taken? 4. What else might be mixed in with the drug especially the rubbish that is often mixed with illegal drugs? Some drugs might be complete fakes or have very different effects from what the user was expecting. There is no quality control on the illicit drug scene. 5. What is actually taken? Much of the drug experiences depends on what people think is going to happen – you can get seriously freaked out if you’re expecting a nice happy time on “E” when you’ve actually swallowed a face full of downers. 6. Whether drugs are being mixed together: alcohol is especially dangerous as a ‘mixer’. 7. How a drug is taken; injecting is just about the most dangerous way to use drugs – the dose is taken all at once so there is a danger of overdose – if injecting equipment is shared, there is the danger of passing of infections like hepatitis and HIV (the virus that leads to AIDS) General Risks at the Following: The Person If you drink when you feel miserable, you will often feel worse; if you are anxious or depressed before taking LSD, you are more likely to have a bad experience. Also the following factors may affect the experience.

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Physical Health Problems. Drug use could be more dangerous for those with heart, blood pressure, epilepsy, diabetes, and asthma or liver problems. Weight. Drugs act differently depending how heavy you are: the effects may be more in a lighter person. People who have eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia may also find drug use makes it even worse. Not Being Used to Drugs. Somebody new to drug use may be anxious, unsure of what to do or expect and be more likely to get into problems or have a nasty experience. Sex. Drug use may be different for males and females because of the different physical make up and the different way people view male and female drug use. It is often seen as OK for men to do certain things or behave in certain ways but not for women.

The Family Drug user can have a residual effect on the lives of the family. Dependent drug users will lie and steal even from his/her own family gradually depleting the family’s financial and emotional resources. In some cases, parents are part of the problem. Due to poverty they allow their children to deal drugs. Youth involved in drugs, are placed in jeopardy, including arrest, street violence, drug overdose, incarceration and truancy.

The Environment Where people use it can be risky. Some take drugs in dodgy places like canal banks, near railways lines and in other similar areas. Accidents are much more likely in these places especially if people are out of their heads. Also, if anything goes wrong, it is less likely that help will be at hand or an ambulance could easily be called. Another problem has been the use of ecstasy in clubs where people dance for hours in very crowded and hot situation. This has led to people overheating and some have died of dehydration and heat exhaustion. What people are doing while they are on drugs can be risky. Driving a car or operating machinery whilst on drugs for example, can greatly increase the chances of serious accidents. Penalties for driving under the influence of drugs resulting in an accident can be severe. Having sex

while on drugs can make remembering safer sex – like using condoms – much more difficult. Activity 1. Divide the participants into 3 main groups with 5-8 members per group. 2. Provide them with the necessary materials for the workshop. 3. Ask each group to brainstorm on the current situation of drugs/substance abuse problems in their respective areas. 4. Ask them to look for a picture of drugs/substance abuse that are commonly used in their communities in old newspapers and magazines and make visual images of collages. 5. Ask each group to appoint a leader to facilitate. 6. Guide the discussion with the following questions: What is drug/substance abuse/misuse? What are the commonly abused/misused drugs/substances in your community? What are the consequences of drug/substance abuse in the person using it and to his/her family? Processing: 1. Let each group present their output in the plenary 2. Take note or write on the board important terms and process the activity by asking them the following questions:  What do you think are the real problems that cause drug/substance abuse?  What effect do you think will it have to your children, to your family and to the community as a whole? 3. Engage the participants further and provide them inputs using your key learning points. Application: 1. Ask three of five volunteer participants to talk about their own experiences as teenage boys and how they were able to manage or avoid using drugs and substances. 2. Then ask for short “father-dialogues” or what fathers can tell their teenagers to teach them how to avoid drugs and substances.

SESSION 2: Drug/Substance Abuse in the Home

We as fathers are the last to know that our own child or a friend’s child or a neighbor’s child is using drugs, alcohol and other form of substance that may be abusively used. For most of us, it was a big shock and may be on unbelievable situation but it is a real situation that must be squarely faced and responded to by fathers. It is very important then for fathers to know when and if your child is into drugs. And you have the very right to know about drugs and substance abuse. Hence, this session will focus on different ways to establish a drug-free home focusing on fathers taking an active role. Estimated Time: 1 Hour Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss ways to establish a drug-free home 2. Discuss ways how fathers can take on active role in preventing their children from drug/substance abuse.

Materials: A Genogram Form Pens Pencil Crayons Bond paper Handouts

Methodology: Genogram making Structured Learning Exercise Individual reflection / Dyad Discussion Key Learning Points 

Fathers can do a lot in preventing family members from going into drugs and other forms of substance abuse.

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Establishing a drug-free home starts from modeling to your children and other family members. Setting an example of a good behavior is instilling a positive role model for your child. First thing you can do is to educate yourself about drugs and other forms of substance abuse. Learn their effects - effect of drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Read and discuss with other fathers about the local drug scene. How and why children go into drugs? Find out about resources as to where and when to seek professional help. To be informed is to be forwarded and equipped to deal with the problem. At home, take time to talk to your child, non-user or user about what you are learning. It is best that you and your child learn together and share information about drugs and substance abuse with each other. Give focus on the biological effects of drugs on adolescents’ growth and development.

Tips on establishing a drug-free home (Photocopy and give as handouts)  Make an effort to get to know your child’s friends  Spend quality time with your child  Listen to him the right way  Give positive, encouraging feedback  Encourage creative forms of communication  Involve your children in the observance of your faith  Refrain from smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol  Preserve harmony at home  Study the enemy  Look for the silver lining

How can you tell when your child may be on drugs or needs help? 1) Changes in Behavior – persons who were obedient, kind and courteous before become irritable, discourteous, defiant and aggressive. 2) Change in Appearance – persons who are neat and well groomed become unconcerned with their grooming and become slovenly. They usually wear dark glasses and prefer to wear long sleeves, which they did not do before. If previously they were healthy looking they become thin, emaciated and pale with their hair-lacking luster.

3) Changes in Mood – During the effect of the drug, they may be euphoric or exhilarated. Sometimes, they go into uncontrollable fits of laughing and giggling. 4) Changes in Interest - Persons who have been good employees and who have been doing well with their work become idlers, lose interest in their work and become dependent on others. Students, who are coping well in school become idlers, lose interest in their work and become dependent on others. Students who are coping well in school become disinterested, truant and their grades deteriorate. What can we do in our neighborhood? (Photocopy and give as handouts) 1. Contact all the parents of your child’s friend whether your child is a known user or not. 2. Tell them what you are leaning new fact about drug and alcohol use and would like to share your information with them. 3. Find out if there is a problem and its extent. 4. Tell them that drug usage affects non-users as well as users in negative ways and emphasize that together you can all learn. 5. Get the parents together and commit yourselves to a mutual learning process. 6. Make clear that accusations, hostility and using scapegoats are not what you are after. 7. Then dig out and pool all the information you can get if drug and alcohol use has begun among local children. 8. Air suspicions, rumors, gossip and guesses as well as known facts. It is crucial that all parents learn on what is going on and that they do not bury their heads in the sand; that they do not back off when painful information begins to surface. 9. Find out who is involved as users, suppliers and be ready to confront all of them with their parents. Do this in a helpful and not in an accusing manner. 10. In your parent’s group, work out a common code of basic behavioral rules – on drugs and drinking, dating, curfews, chaperoning, etc. then present a unified parental front, a communal set of standards. 11. Twenty or thirty parents working together can establish a more controllable community for their kids, regardless of what happens to the rest of the “wicked world”. Be willing to back up each other when kids try to test you, to divide and conquer, to claim that “so and so gets to do such and such”.

12. Keep your parent communication networks going so that you keep up with changing situations and changing problems. It’s important and even reassuring to your kids to know that you and their friends’ parents know what is going on out in that difficult real world that kids must contend with. 13. Work hard at developing fun, meaningful and constructive alternatives to drug and alcohol use. Utilize the resources of other parents and of churches but make sure that these organizations also know what is going on. Kids can get just as stoned at church camps and in football dressing rooms as they do in sneaky hide outs, if the adult in charge is naïve and uninformed. 14. Remember that drug using and drug dealing can be fun, adventurous, exciting games for kids. Very few will meet a “dirty old pusher” in the initial stages. They will get their drugs from friends, from older brothers and sisters, from cool and friendly and flattering older teenagers. That first share of joint will be a generous and fun experience for many youngsters. So be ready to counter that with more interesting, healthier, more lawful and more stimulating entertainment with service to others. 15. Recognize that it will not be all sweetness and light. Kids who belong to a drug-using peer group will fight to maintain that secure circle of friends. They can be sullen, defiant, deceptive and downright dislikeable. A parent has to hang in there, to act out of pure faith, for a long enough time to make his child recognize his seriousness. This may take few months or a few years. You may need professional help. But you owe it to your child. The alternatives are too hazardous. A child’s drug usage can tear a family apart, but a parental and familial struggle to regain a drug-free child can be strengthened and reunify a family.

Activity: 1. Provide the participants with a sample of a completed Genogram (see attached sample) on the Board and give them a blank sheet of bond paper. 2. Provide them with the mechanics on how to do a Genogram and ask them to do the same guided by the following questions: a) What role(s) did each family member assume in your family (e.g. family hero, scapegoat, peacemaker, rescuer, parental child, etc)? At present, what role (s) do you tend to play in the family or family like relationships? b) How did each member of your family express affection? At present time, how do you tend to express affection?

How did family members seek help and support in your family? From whom? Today, when you need help and support, how do you seek it? From whom? d) How does your family cope with problem and stress? Who does the problem solving and decision-making in the family? e) How did each member of your family express anger? How were other feelings expressed? Sadness? Fear? Joy? At this in your life, how do you express each of these feelings? f) What are (at least 5) the most important positive or negative experiences/characteristics you and your family members possess? How do these affect you today? Which, if any, of these might you now wish to unlearn? What new learning might you put in their place? g) How are your childhood and family experiences likely to affect your performance as a father now in promoting drug-free home? 3. When the participants completed their Genograms. Ask them to find a partner whom they are comfortable with and share what they wrote. Ask them to share based on the Genogram guide question. Allow 20-30 minutes for sharing. c)

Processing: 1. Gather the participants into new group and process the whole activity by asking them the following questions: a. What did your learn/discover from your sharing? b. What are the weak and positive characteristics of your family? c. Is there a pattern of substance/drug abuse manifested in your family of origin? d. What are the different substances/drugs abusively used? e. How were they managed and controlled? 2. Write down key messages on the board and begin integrating these using your Key Learning Points. 3. Give the hand outs and discuss. Application: 1. Divide the participants into four (4) groups and ask them to prepare a slogan or a poem on how father can establish a drug free home. 2. Ask them to present their group output in the plenary. 3. End the session by the following statement.

Drug dependents are never cured. They are recovered. The best that fathers can do is to prevent it by establishing open and trusting relationship with their children. Do not lecture, moralize, scold or argue but be around to help, to give love and understanding to enable them to cope and overcome substance abuse. Be an empathetic listener! However, do not tolerate nor condone their addiction.

FAMILY GENOGRAM

FAMILY GENOGRAM

MODULE VIII FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PREVENTION OF HIV-AIDS

SESSION 1: Understanding HIV/AIDS HIV-AIDS is a growing concern of medical practitioners and social development workers. The cases of Filipinos with HIV-AIDS are increasing and more cases are hidden due to the strong stigma attached to the disease. It is a growing concern nowadays and families should lead to take prevention measures.

Estimated Time: 1 hour Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss what HIV-AIDS is; and 2. Discuss the HIV-AIDS situations in the Philippines Methodology: Message Relay Group Workshop Lecture Discussion

Materials: Metacards (3” x 10” colored Cartolina Marking pens Masking tapes RA 8504 HIV-AIDS Philippines statistics (acquire from your local health department)

Key Learning Points:  Acquiring HIV-AIDS is a very painful experience for a family. It can cause deep emotional stress, deep anger, sadness, shame, loss of hope, discrimination and separation.  HIV refers to Human Immune Deficiency Virus which causes AIDS.  AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome that involves immune deficiency. When a person’s Immune System breaks down, he or she becomes susceptible to many infections/ diseases, which will eventually result in death.  There is no known cure for HIV/AIDS but it can be prevented by correct information.  HIV can be transmitted only through: o Blood transfusion o Sexual intercourse o Cervical and vaginal secretions

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o Breast milk (Mother to child) HIV-AIDS can result to draining the financial and emotional resource of the family. Considering that it has no cure, the person affected with HIV-AIDS shall require long institutional care particularly when various diseases already affect the person. Fathers have the key role in preventing HIV-AIDS by practicing safe sex and by being faithful to the spouse.

Activity: 1. Form two equal groups asking the members of the group hold hands, and sit side-by-side in a semi-circle. 2. Sit in the middle of the two groups holding hands with the persons to your left and right, and tell them that you will play the “silent relay” game. 3. Tell them that you are the “message sender” and you will send silent number messages by pressing/squeezing the hands of the person nearest you. 4. These two people to your left and right counts the number of squeezes/presses they feel and then pass on the silent number message to the next person until it reaches the last person. 5. The last person calls out or announces the number of presses/squeezes he gets. The group who gets the exact number of squeezes /presses wins a score. 6. Allow five to seven rounds 7. Talk about the game and lead the group to appreciating the importance of acquiring correct information. 8. Stress that if information passed is incorrect, can affect those who receive it. 9. Relate this with their roles as community leaders and volunteers as information givers to families in their own communities. 10. Zero-in to the issues of HIV-AIDS, particularly unknown facts and misconceptions (i.e. mode of transmission, cure, etc.) Processing: 1. Ask what your trainees know about HIV-AIDS, mode of transmission, and how it can be prevented. 2. Use your key learning points and allow more time for discussion. 3. When necessary, ask the help of your local expert to be around to answer other medical questions. Application: 1. Ask some of the fathers to share stories about ways to maintain a faithful relationship.

2. Distribute paper and pens and ask them to write their wives love letters of faithfulness. 3. Call on some volunteers to read their love letter to their wives.

SESSION 2: Safe Sex and Other Safety Measures This session will provide an opportunity to discuss ways to prevent acquiring HIVAIDS. Considering that HIV-AIDS cannot be cured, it is a must then for all fathers to lead their families in preventing HIV-AIDS. Estimated Time: 45 minutes Objectives: The participants shall be able to: 1. Discuss ways to practice safe sex; and 2. Discuss ways to safeguard oneself from acquiring HIV-AIDS. Methodology: Brainstorming Group Discussion Plenary Presentation

Materials: Metacards Pentel Pen Masking Tape Handouts and brochures

Key Learning Points: How can HIV transmission be prevented? (Photocopy as handouts or you can ask for brochures in your local health department – There are also more handouts and readings in the annex) Know and practice the ABC of safer sex and AIDS prevention: A – Abstinence: The safest way is not to have sex with anyone. B – Be Faithful: Avoid having sex with different partners. C– Condom: If you are not sure about your partner, or you have more than one partner, using condoms properly every time you have sex will greatly reduce your RISK.

Avoid unnecessary injections. If you have to be injected, always insist on the use of sterilized or disposable needle. Receive blood transfusion only from a reputable blood bank that is accredited by the Department of Health (only accredited blood banks in the Philippines screen HIV)  Injecting drug users should be counseled on the risks of HIV/AIDS that come with sharing of needles and syringes and “harm-reduction measures”.  Mothers infected with HIV should be informed that there is 20% to 40% chance that they can pass on the infection to the infant during pregnancy or at delivery.  Practice Safe Sex.  Complete sexual abstinence is one option, but it is not the most practical measure for many people. A long-term mutually faithful relationship (monogamy) is another option. Long-term means years, not weeks. Mutually faithful means both partners being monogamous during the relationship. If one partner has unprotected intercourse with multiple partners, the faithful spouse or lover is actually being exposed to possible sexually transmitted infections of the other sexual partners.  For people who cannot abstain or remain in a long-term mutually faithful relationship, safer sex practice remains the only other option. Remember that this also applies to a person who is monogamous but who is not sure about the activities of his or her sexual partner.  Safer sex includes any kind of sexual activity that prevents an exchange of HIV-infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids. The correct use of condoms is one of safer sex measures to be used whenever penetration (penile-anal; penile-vaginal) is involved. Other safer sex activities are those not involving penetration: masturbation, petting, necking, and kissing.  Safer sex and responsible sex are inter-related. All this can be fulfilling and fun and quite challenging.  Used correctly latex condoms prevent infected semen or vaginal mucus from entering the sexual partner of an infected person. HIV, and many other infectious agents that cause sexually transmitted diseases, cannot pass through the condom.  Because using a condom is not just a right, but a responsibility, both partners must learn to insist on the proper use of the condom.

What is the correct use of condoms? (Photocopy or ask brochures from your local health department) As explained earlier, condom failure does not occur because of pores in the condoms. The problems come with condom bursting or slipping off. Condoms have to be used correctly and consistently (i.e. every sexual intercourse and from start to finish). 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.

Talk about it Use only latex (rubber) condoms. Condoms should be stored properly. Do not use a condom if its package has been broken. Put on the condom as soon as the penis is erect. Pinch the end of the condom to squeeze air out of the reservoir (or nipple). If the penis is uncircumcised, pull back the foreskin before rolling the condom over it. Condoms that have been used for anal sex should not be used for vaginal or oral sex. After intercourse, the rim of the condom (at the base of the penis) should be held against the man as he withdraws. After removing the condom, tie a knot in the open end to confine the semen. Immediately after intercourse, both partners should wash off any semen or vaginal secretion with soap and water.

What can society do to prevent the spread of HIV? (Photocopy or ask brochures from your local health department) There are many things that society can do to help prevent the spread of HIV. But to be able to do this, there must be an openness to discuss the many issues surrounding HIV, especially sexuality. This does not just mean frank discussions about sex but must also extend to issues such as gender equality. As long as women are denied a voice in sexual matters, they will remain placed in high-risk situations. Different sectors need to take their share of the responsibilities: 1. Media needs to report more responsibly and accurately on HIV and AIDS. 2. Educators need to integrate into their curriculum, and to reach out through non-formal channels to the majority of the population who are no longer in schools.

3. Health professionals need to increase their own levels of awareness and knowledge, as well as examine their prejudices and values, to become effective health educators and health care providers. Activity: 1. Divide participants into four groups with seven to eight members and ask them to brainstorm on how safe sex can be achieved and what are the other safety measures that fathers can do to prevent HIV/AIDS transmission and infection. 2. Give them 20 minutes and ask them to present their output in the plenary. Processing: 1. Process the activity by asking the participants the following questions: a. Will HIV-AIDS be prevented in our country? b. How can fathers and the families themselves prevent HIV-AIDS? 2. Give the handouts/brochures away and begin discussion using your key learning points. Application: 1. Ask the participants to remain in their groupings and provide them with ½ Cartolina or manila paper ask them to write a poem, a slogan or a palit-awit that will have a message on the importance of safer sex in preventing HIV-AIDS and what it means to secure a safe and health family against HIV-AIDS. 2. Ask them to present their outputs in the plenary.

MODULE IX FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

The 2006 World Report on Violence against Children revealed that physical maltreatment of children in their homes is a global issue affecting millions worldwide. Much physical violence against children takes the form of punishment and often embedded in a cultural belief that children learn through physical pain. The report recommends the elimination of all corporal punishment of children and the promotion of positive, non-violent discipline. (Please refer to the Manual of Save the Children International as officially adopted by the Department)

POST SCRIPT

Dear Service Provider and Father Volunteer! Congratulations for having reached this far end of the manual! Notice that the last session is quite a contemplative and reflective session. What fitting way to end right? Well at this juncture, you may need to create formal “ERPAT graduation or completion ceremony. You can: 1. Prepare/design your own ERPAT certificates and have your local officials sign them. 2. Re-arrange the room to make it festive 3. Arrange for food (pot luck recommended) and encourage your participants’ families to come. 4. Invite local luminaries to grace the occasion. 5. Give out awards of recognition (i.e. complete attendance, most congenial father; romantic father etc.) 6. Plan out a short program of entertainment numbers and testimonies from the trainees. 7. Hold elections and ratify the by-laws.

But before you do all these, below we include a short session, which family members of your father-trainees can also participate in. Give out instructions to everyone: I.

Awareness of God’s Presence: Guided Contemplation (in prayerful and meditative mood) 1. Start to quiet down your whole body, slowly and gradually. Back straight, pressing against the back of the chair. Hands relaxed and quietly resting on your thighs. Feet relaxed on the ground. Head straight and relaxed. 2. Slowly close your eyes and keep them closed, but relaxed.

3. Remain motionless in this portion for the rest of activity. 4. I want you now to be aware of all the sound of life around you. Be aware of every sound of life outside of yourself, from the strongest to the weakest sound. Sounds of nature; Sounds of machines. Just be aware of every sound of life outside of yourself and stay there for a while. (Pause for a minute or two). 5. I want you to be aware of your own, normal breathing. Be aware of every breath of air that comes in and out of you. Be aware that this is the breath of life, without which your life will stop and cease to be. 6. Be aware now of the loving and sustaining present of God in every breath of life that comes in and out of you. For God is the author of life. WHERE LIFE IS, GOD IS THERE too. Feel his loving presence within you, and just stay there for a while. Relish, reverence, enjoy make friends with God’s presence within you and just stay there for a while. (Pause for a minute or two). 7. And now as a response to His presence within you. Quietly in your heart, express your sentiments of gratitude to the Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you, Lord, thank you for the gift of life. 8. Be aware of now of the sounds of life outside of yourself. Be aware of the loving and sustaining presence of God in every sound of life outside of yourself. God’s presence in the chirping of the birds, in the barking of the dogs, in the sound of the breeze, in the sounds of vehicles from afar. 9. Feel the loving and sustaining presence of God within you and all around you, and stay there for a while (Pause). Process the experience by asking: 1. “And what would it feel like, if all of a sudden, without any warning, someone from behind comes and just… (Suddenly tear the paper violently-make sure the tearing sounds are heard-then crumple it and crush it in your hands…) (Pause). 2. Then ask the group: “What did you feel…? (Ask for several volunteers to share their feelings-one at a time. Typically, one might say: “I feel crushed…” Another might say: Sayang…” or “I feel angry…”) Now are those your feelings? Of course, they are, and yet you are not the paper. This means that at a certain point in time, you were able to forget yourself, set yourself aside and you were able to put yourself in the situation of the paper. This is your God –given gift of empathy – the gift of compassion.

3. Let us continue the activity. It is not finished yet. Say: “This time, I ask you to sit back, relax and close your eyes. Start to quiet down your whole person, and once again, be ready to go out of yourself”. (Pause). 4. Forget yourself… and with your memory and imagination, focus your attention on one of your children- single out the son or daughter that you feel would like to understand more. The son or daughter that often feels misunderstood by you, or who often irritates you. 5. Start to ask the question in your heart: What does it really feels like to be in the place of this child of mine?” Using your memory, imaginations, and most of all your heart, ask the question again: What does it mean to be in his/her world? On a typical day… from morning till night… from the time he/she wakes up in the morning…till the time he/she feels humiliated by me? Or neglected by me? Or some other pain or hurt that I tend to pay little or no attention to?” “Just put yourself in the shoes of that child of yours, and stay there for a while…allowing your heart to listen…” (Pause for about 4-5 minutes, in absolute silence.)(then conclude)”Slowly now, gradually come back to yourself, and gradually open your eyes…” (Pause). “For those of you who were able to forget yourselves and really put yourselves in the situation of your son or daughter, what did it feel like? 6. Allow time to share. Ask four or five fathers to share. Typically, a father will share his/her appreciation of what it means to be in the place of his son or daughter-the problems, hurts, etc. that is often not paid enough attention to. Draw this out and know how these few minutes of empathy have made one understand his child in a deeper way. Then say: “With this brief experience, we can see the beauty and power of our ability to empathize and compassionate with our children. This is the key to the father’s communication and intimacy with his children” 7. Now encourage dialogue among family members 8. Begin your graduation ceremony.

APPENDIX A

ERPAT ASSOCIATION OFFICERS President Vice President Secretary Treasurer Auditor Public Relations Officer Peace Courting Officer

APPENDIX B ERPAT ASSOCIATION OF ___________________

Name of Organization: _________________________________ Address: ____________________________________________ Name of Worker: _____________________________________ Name

Position

Age

Address

Noted by:

ERPAT PRESIDENT

ERPAT SECRETARY

Signature

APPENDIX C Empowerment Reaffirmation of Paternal Abilities Registration Form Identifying Data Name: ______________________________________ Status: Age: _________ Sex: ________ (__) Married Date of Birth: __________ (__) Separated Place of Birth: ________________________ (__) Widower Occupation: __________________________ (__) Guardian Religion: ____________________________ (__) Solo Parent Home Address: _______________________________________ Telephone Number: ____________________ Family Composition Name Sex

Relationship

Age

Educational Attainment: Elementary: _____________________________ High School: _____________________________ Vocational: ______________________________ College: ________________________________ Others: _________________________________ Special Abilities: Skills/Talent: ________________________________________ Hobbies: ___________________________________________ Other skills: _________________________________________ Community Involvement School: _________________________________________ Civic: ___________________________________________ Community: ______________________________________ Workplace: _______________________________________ Others: __________________________________________

Seminars /Training Attended: Title: _______________________________________________ Date: _______________________________________________ Organizers: __________________________________________

Title: _______________________________________________ Date: _______________________________________________ Organizers: __________________________________________

Signature: _________________________________

APPENDIX D RECORDING OF ERPAT SESSIONS: (To be accomplished by LGU Worker/ERPAT Volunteer, One Desk Session) ERPAT SESSION NO. _______ TOPIC: _____________________ DATE: ______________, BARANGAY : _____________________________________ 1. 2.

NAME OF PARTICIPANTS PRESENT : ( Attached attendance sheet ) OBJECTIVE OF THE SESSION : ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________

3.

REPORT OF RESULTS OF ACTIVITIES CARRIED OUT AT HOME IN RELATION TO PREVIOUS TOPICS ATTENDED: ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________

4.

5.

LEARNING HIGHLIGHTS/INSIGHTS IDENTIFIED BY PARTICIPANTS : ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________ PLAN OF ACTION/HOME ASSESSMENT OF EACH PARTICIPANT RELATIVE TO TOPIC DISCUSSED IN THE SESSION (REFER TO APPLICATION) ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________

6.

WORKER’S APPLICATIONS ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________

DATE OF NEXT SESSION: _____________________________ TOPIC: _____________________________________________ _______________________ Worker/Volunteer’s Signature

APPENDIX E QUARTERLY ACCOMPLISHMENT REPORT ERPAT ____________________________ Month/Year ACTIVITIES / PROJECTS

DATE CONDUCTED

NO.OF PERSON SERVED

PERSON / AGENCY INVOLVED

REMARKS

ISSUES/CONCERNS/RECOMMENDATIONS ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________ Prepared and Submitted by: ________________________________ Noted by: ________________________________

APPEDNIX F OATH OF COMMITMENT We the members and officers of the ERPAT Association of Barangay ______________________________________ do hereby pledges to perform our duties and responsibilities, abide with the Constitution and By-laws of ERPAT Association and serves as the role model in our community. We further commit ourselves to render volunteer service in responding to the issues/concerns affecting our family and to support the implementation of ERPAT program in the community. So help me GOD. Signed on_______________________________________200__ at (Day and Month) ___________________________________________________________ ________________________

Name and Signature of Members __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

_______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________

APPENDIX G Handouts on Family Planning

Family Planning  Does not mean stopping to have children  It means having children only when couple wants them and when they can best take care of them.  It means not leaving conception to chance.  It is to reason for couple to choose for themselves the number of children they want and time of birth they wish.  It is a resource because it will enable them to provide only for children who it can afford to support.  It help in furthering national development in increasing the share of each Filipino in the fruits of economic progress and in meeting the goal and social challenge of the high rate of population growth. FAMILY PLANNING- is a voluntary and positive act of couples to plan and decide the number of children they want and when they want to have them. Family Planning is deciding:     

The number of children a married couple wants When to have a baby To use the responsible means to achieve the couples desired number of children. To seek help so that childless couples can have children. Underscore that family planning does not refer to the pill, or the IUD or any of the contraceptive method alone. It refers to the concept of spacing children and having only the number of children couple can care for.

ADVANTAGES OF FAMILY PLANNING To Mothers:  Enables the mother to regain her health after delivery. It takes 2 to 3 years to fully recover her health after childbirth.



Prevents young mothers (below 18 years old) and old mothers (over 35 years old) from getting pregnant because it is dangerous for them to bear children at their age. Teenage mothers have the high tendency for anemia, toxemia and prolonged labor. Old mothers are more likely to suffer hemorrhage because of uterine rapture and weakness of uterine muscles. Also they have high tendency to develop hypertension.



Provides a mother who may be suffering from some chronic illnesses such as tuberculosis, diabetes, heart disease and anemia, enough time for treatment and recovery without fear of getting pregnant. Gives her enough time and opportunity to care and provide attention to her husband and children. Gives her time for her family and the community.

 

To Fathers:  Provide fathers who are suffering from chronic illnesses such as tuberculosis, diabetes, heart disease, anemia, etc. enough time for treatment and recovery.  Lightens his burden and responsibility in supporting his family since he will be providing only for the children he can afford to support.  Enables him to give his children a good home, good education and a better future.  Gives him time for his own personal advancement.  Enables him to have time and opportunity to enrich and strengthen his relationship with his wife and with his children  Gives him feeling of fulfillment and pride in his family for having a wife who can attend to their children and home chores and develop herself as a woman/wife.  Provide fathers with extra resources and enough time to actively participate in the community programs/projects.  Frees a jobless father from worry of having additional child to support. The practice of family planning enables the children to be:   

HEALTHY – A healthy mother can produce healthy children. HAPPY – The children will be brought up in a happy home where they can be given all the love and attention that they deserve. WANTED AND SATISFIED – Fewer children in the family will give time and opportunity for mothers and fathers to attend to their growth and development.



SECURE – Fewer children in the family will mean for adequate food, clothing, good education and meeting of other basic needs where resources are limited.

Family Planning Methods 1. Temporary Methods – methods, which can be reversed. a. PILL Description: Contains two hormones, estrogen and progestin, in different proportions; comes in tablet forms; comes in 20-21 or 28 pill packs daily How it works: Stops ovulation and thickens the cervical canal, which prevents the sperm from entering the uterus. b. IUD Description: Small plastic device that is inserted through the cervix inside the uterus. How it works: Kills the sperm and prevents sperm from entering the uterus, stops ovulation and causes changes in the uterus and fallopian tubes which prevent sterilization. c. CONDOM Description: Rubber sheaths worn over the penis during the intercourse. How it works: Blocks the release of sperm into vagina. The spermicidal lubricant also kills sperms. d. INJECTABLE Description: Administered every three months, injected in the arm. How it works: Thickens the cervical mucus which prevents the sperm from entering the uterus, stops ovulation and causes changes in the uterus and the fallopian tubes which prevents fertilization. 2. Natural Family Planning Methods a. Cervical Mucus Method Description: The mother monitors/checks and records the character of the cervical mucus daily except during menstruation. How it works: Prevents pregnancy through abstaining from sexual intercourse during the woman’s fertile period. b. Basal Body Temperature (BBT) Description: Fertile and infertile days are approximated by observing changes in the woman’s body temperature. How it works: Prevents pregnancy through abstaining from sexual intercourse during the woman’s fertile period. c. Symptothermal Method

Description: A combination of recording of basal body temperature and observing the changes in the cervical mucus and other changes that may occur before ovulation. How it works: Prevents pregnancy through abstaining from sexual intercourse during the woman’s fertile period. d. Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM) Description: Full and exclusive breastfeeding within six months after delivery. 3. Permanent Method a. Bilateral Tubal Ligation (Female Sterilization) Description: b. Vasectomy (Male Sterilization) Description: Small incision is made in both sides of the scrotum to expose the vas deference, which is then cut, clipped; requires local anesthesia. There are health facilities/centers offering family planning services.

APPENDIX H More Handouts on HIV-AIDS 1. What is HIV? HIV refers to the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, which causes AIDS 2. How does HIV affect the body? Most people whose blood streams have recently been infected by HIV, look and feel perfectly healthy. After a few years, however, many of the infected will develop a condition in which appear intermittent or persistent symptoms of fever, fatigue, weakness, diarrhea, and malaise, loss of weight and generalized swelling of lymph nodes in the neck, armpits or groin. Other symptoms may also include patches in the mouth and tongue, sores in the genital areas, buttocks, or mouth, athlete’s foot, etc. This condition may persist for an extended period of time and it may even disappear, but frequently precedes the more serious syndrome of AIDS. As the infected immune system deteriorates, the patient tends to develop a variety of recurrent or chronic infections that can take advantage of a severely weakened body to produce devastating and eventually fatal diseases. 3. What are the stages of HIV infections? HIV Positive –  Symptomatic- the person’s blood test is positive of HIV antibodies and has developed a mild form of the disease.  Asymptomatic – The person’s blood test is positive but subject does not show any physical manifestation.  The person may feel and look well for years but can spread the virus to others. Full-blown AIDS  The person’s immune system is impaired  The person develops a variety of serious illnesses. AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome AIDS involves an IMMUNE DEFICIENCY. When a person’s immune system breaks down, she becomes susceptible to many infections, which eventually result in death. AIDS is a SYNDROME, a combination of signs and symptoms that form a distinct clinical picture of disorder.

How is HIV detected? Testing for the presence of HIV or antibodies produced by the body in response to the presence of the virus remains an important method for prompt diagnoses, and leads to the administration of early medical care that may delay or prevent complications. However, once the infection occurs, the human body may take from six weeks to a year or more to produce the antibodies that can be detected through tests. For this reason, a negative test should not provide a definite sense of security to a person that has been exposed to the HIV infection. The most common tests used in the Philippines are the ELISA test (Enzyme-Linked ImmunoSorbent Assay) and the P.A. (Particle Agglutination) after two positive screening tests, a confirmatory test (Western Blot or Immunofluorescence test) is administered to validate the screening test results. What is the Difference between HIV Infection and AIDS? HIV only infects human beings, and destroys the body’s defense that fights other diseases. HIV multiplies inside the body and attacks the defenses of the infected person. Sometimes HIV is called the AIDS virus, because being infected with HIV can lead to AIDS. But having HIV infection is not the same as having AIDS. The virus can lie inactive in the human body as long as 10 years without causing any symptoms. Initially a person infected with HIV does not have the actual disease (AIDS) and he/she may look and feel healthy. However, she/her carries the HIV for the rest of her/his life and can spread the HIV to others. What happens to a person after HIV infection? Each infectious disease can be described as having a natural history, moving from one stage to another. In all infectious disease, there is a period between the time of infection and the appearance of symptoms. This period can be short for diseases such as the common cold (one to two days). With leprosy, it takes three to five years. With HIV, the period between infection and the appearance of AIDS can be as long as seven to 12 years.

Does a person who is infected with HIV still look and feel healthy? Definitely: A few days to a few weeks after becoming infected with HIV, some (not all) people will develop symptoms like those of flu or mononucleosis; fatigue, headaches, fever, sore throat, lymphadenopathy (enlarged lymph nodes) and sweating. These acute illness episodes last for one to three weeks. Most people will not be able to relate illness to HIV infection. This period of acute infection is short. It is followed by a stage that may last a few months to a few years, during which the person with HIV will have no signs or symptoms of HIV infection. But while the person may look and feel healthy, he or she can transmit the virus. During this period, HIV begins to weaken the immune system and eventually AIDS develops. The data from industrialized countries show that about 60 percent of adults will progress to AIDS within 12 years after becoming infected with HIV. Remember that all these figures are averages. There are people who develop AIDS within a short time after the infection and there are others who live past 12 years without AIDS. How does AIDS eventually develop? Once it is in the blood circulation, HIV invades several types of cells including lymphocytes, macrophages, langerhans cells, and neurons within the central nervous system. The reason HIV is so deadly is that it attacks the body’s immune system. How HIV destroys the immune system? HIV infection is systematic, affecting many different part of the immune system. As the body’s immune system slows down because of HIV, many different illnesses can occur with different signs and symptoms. Middle HIV-related illnesses have symptoms such as enlarge lymph nodes, unexplained weight loss, persistent night sweats. Note that these symptoms are very general and could come with many other illnesses not related to HIV. Eventually, life-threatening opportunistic infections and cancers set in and the person dies within one to three years.

1. Rise of opportunistic infections and cancers found in AIDS Opportunistic infections (OIs) are so called because they take advantage of the host’s weakened immune responses. It may be caused by an organism that does not usually cause diseases in human beings (for example: Mycobacterium avium, which usually infects birds) or it may cause more severe diseases than it usually does in a person with a normal immune system (for example: herpes simplex ulcers lasting more than a month). In AIDS, a person may have several opportunities for infections which make it more difficult for the body to fight back. Some of these are the following: 1.1. Cancers People whose immune systems have been weakened by HIV may be more vulnerable to cancers. One explanation is that in a weakened immune system, the lymphocytes are not able to detect and destroy malignant cells as quickly. Another explanation is the HIV infection may activate cancer causing agents. 1.2 Other Illnesses HIV virus is aggravated by other illnesses such as chronic diarrhea that come with cryptosporidiosis. HIV directly affects the brain and causes HIV dementia with disturbances of brain functions including memory, orientation, comprehension, learning capacity, language and judgment. HIV dementia is usually found in the more advanced stages of AIDS. Finally, we should recognize the many psychiatric problems that may come with HIV and AIDS. Some of these may be directly due to the infections itself, as when the virus or other opportunistic infections affect the central nervous system. In other case, the behavioral problem – depression, alcohol or drug dependency and self-destructive behavior – comes as part of coping with a disease that presently has no cure and is so heavily stigmatized. 1.3. Tuberculosis HIV infection weakens the immune system. Thus, tuberculosis may be reactivated, by speeding up a primary infection, or be external reinfection. Tuberculosis will in turn accelerate HIV diseases by activating

HIV production in lymphocytes and macrophages, which helps to spread HIV infection infections to other cells. Tuberculosis in patients with HIV can be pulmonary (in the lungs) but a large percentage also has extra pulmonary disease, involving the bone marrow, the liver and the lymph nodes. About half of HIV patients with advanced tuberculosis will also develop disseminated Mycobacterium avium intracellulare (MAI) infection. How is HIV transmitted? A person must already be infected with HIV to transmit it to others to other people. The longer a person had been infected the more of HIV he or she will carry, although medical research also shows that virus levels are very high initially after infection. Much of the literature about HIV talks about “body fluids” as the medium through which the virus is passed. This tends to be misleading. HIV does thrive in many types of body fluids but for an infection to occur there must be: a) sufficient amount of the virus transmitted; and b) a way for the virus to enter in the bloodstream. These two conditions must be met for an infection to take place. To understand how this works, let us look at two case examples. One is saliva, around which there are many myths (e.g. kissing transmits HIV). The reason saliva is not a way for transmitting HIV is that there are much too low concentrations of the virus in this fluid. Even in patients with periodontal (gum) diseases, infected cells have rarely been found. This is probably because saliva itself has anti-viral properties. In assessing the risks of infection, always consider the amount of blood and the possibilities of such bloods entering another person’s bloodstream. Thus, the risks for infection through a barber’s razor or through manicuring equipment are quite low because the amount of blood is very small and is unlikely to be infectious. The types of body fluids through which HIV is most likely to be transmitted are:    

Blood and blood products Semen Cervical and vaginal secretions Breast milk

Manners of HIV Transmissions Since HIV is found mainly in blood, semen, cervical and vaginal mucus, and breast milk, we can see why the virus is more likely to be transmitted through: a. Sexual Intercourse: By having unprotected sexual intercourse with a person who has the virus would be the main route of transmitting infected semen and cervical or vaginal secretion. This accounts for approximately 80% of the worldwide transmission. b. Blood Transfusions: A person receiving HIV-infected blood or blood products has a high risk of getting the infection. Note, however, that a person donating blood is not at risk for HIV infections. The risk comes with receiving infected blood. c. Sharing of Infected Syringes and Needles Used Intravenously by Drug Users: An infected person who injects drugs into himself/herself might share needles with other users. Since these drug users often draw blood back into the syringes to check in the needle and syringe, HIV is transmitted along with the drug or medicine injected using infected syringe and needles. The amount of infected blood may be small but because injections are done repeatedly and involve exposure to the blood of several people, the chances of infection become higher. d. Vertically or Perinatally (from a pregnant woman to the fetus during pregnancy, child delivery or breast feeding): About 20 to 40 percent of babies born to mothers infected with HIV will be infected. The virus may be transmitted from the mother to the child through the placenta, or during the birth process itself. Risks of transmission appears to be greater when the mother has developed advanced AIDS. e. Organ Donation: Since donated organs contain large amounts of blood, the chances of HIV infection are high if a person receives an organ from an infected donor.

f. Accidental Exposure in Hospitals and Clinics: The most common route of infection in health care setting is through needle sticks injuries or cuts with sharp instruments contaminated with HIV. HIV and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) It is essential to highlight the need to prevent and treat other infections like HIV are passed on during unprotected sexual intercourse. Having an STD increases the risk of being infected with HIV, or of passing on HIV, by as much as mine times during sex (where one partner has HIV). STDs are also much more difficult to treat effectively for people with HIV infection. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that at least one in ten sexually active people is infected with STD annually. Young people of both sexes are particularly vulnerable to STD. Young peoples ages 15 to 24 have the highest rate of new HIV infection in most countries. It is very important that people know how to prevent STDs, recognize its symptoms and have access to sympathetic and effective treatment. What are STDs? The term “sexually transmitted disease” (STD) is used for all infections that are transmitted mainly though sexual contact, during unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. Some are also transmitted from mother to child before or during birth and through unsafe blood donations. What are the Common Infections? Gonorrhea (the clap) - One of the most common STIs is caused by bacteria. It often has no symptoms in women. Symptoms may include abdominal pain and (in men) urethral discharging or (in women) smelly, pus-like vaginal discharge. It can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). It can cause infertility and can cause infection in babies during birth, leading to eye infections of blindness. Gonorrhea can be identified by a laboratory test. It can be cured with antibiotics. Syphilis – Bacterial infection that can cause genital or anal ulcers. The bacteria can be spread from a pregnant woman to the fetus, as well as

through sexual contact. If left untreated of some years, syphilis can lead to nerve damage and death. It can be cured with antibiotics. Chancroid – Bacterial infection common in tropical countries. It is transmitted sexually. It causes painful ulcers on the genitals, which can be difficult to distinguish form syphilis ulcers. Chancroid can be identified by a laboratory test. It can be cured with antibiotics. Chlamydia – Very common bacterial infection, which can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), a more serious infection. The bacteria exist in the mucous membrane of reproductive organs such as the vagina, cervix, urethra or anus. They cause inflammation leading to heavy vaginal discharge, pain when urinating or during sex, bleeding after sex, or pain in the abdomen. Men may have discharge from the penis or pain when urinating. Chlamydia can cause infection in babies during birth, leading to eye infections or blindness. Chlamydia often has no symptoms in women. It often goes undetected and untreated, increasing risk of PID. Chlamydia is detected by a blood test or a sample taken from the area that may have been infected. It can be cured with antibiotics. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) - Affects women only. It affects the cervix, uterus, ovaries or uterine tubes. It is caused by various bacteria or viruses, most commonly Chlamydia and gonorrhea. With correct diagnoses of the bacteria causing it, it can be cured. Symptoms include pain in the lower abdomen and back, fever and vomiting. If PID is not treated, more sever symptoms, such as bleeding between periods and unusually painful periods, may develop and may eventually lead to infertility. Diagnosis is difficult. It needs a pelvic examination, taking swab from the cervix or inspecting the pelvic area by laparoscopy (a surgical procedure requiring general anesthetic). PID can be cured with antibiotics. As PID is usually caused by infections that are transmitted sexually, such as Chlamydia, it is essential that women’s sexual partners are also examined and any STIs treated. Genital Herpes – Caused by the herpes simplex virus which is transmitted sexually. It caused small, painful blisters on the genitals, which turn into ulcers. The ulcers disappear but usually come back from time to time. Once someone has the virus there in no way of getting rid of

it, although the ulcers may be absent for several months. Some people with herpes show no symptoms. The virus can be transmitted to a baby during birth, if the woman has ulcers. Treatment with acyclovir can make the ulcers heal faster. Rest, sleep and a good diet make them less likely to come back. Genital Warts – Caused by the human papilloma virus which is usually transmitted sexually. The warts are small, fairly flat bumps which appear on their own or in clumps. Once someone has the virus, it may continue to be present in the body although warts may not appear again. In women, the virus has been linked to the development of cervical cancer. Warts are very common and are very easily passed during sexual activity. They are “burnt off” using special chemical compounds. Other methods such as freezing or laser treatment can also be used. Thrust (Candida) – Thrust looks like a white coating growing in moist parts of the body, such as the vagina or throat or under the foreskin in uncircumcised men. It is one of the most common vaginal infections. A person with thrust can transmit it to their sexual partner. Most women have thrust at some time in their life. It is common in babies and in adults who are tired and stressed, diabetic, taking antibiotics or have a damaged immune system because of HIV infection. It causes itching or pain. Thrust is easily treated with anti-fungal drugs. Live yoghurt, eaten or applied to the affected areas, can prevent and treat thrust. (Live yoghurt contains bacteria, which stops the thrush from growing). Some people recommend avoiding sweet foods, white flour and starchy foods. Bacterial Vaginosis – Thin, gray-white vaginal discharge with an unpleasant smell, caused by bacteria. It can be passed on by sexual contact. Some women do not notice any symptoms. Men can be infected without any symptoms. Bacterial vaginosis is easily treated with antibiotics. There is some evidence that infection with vaginosis increases the risk if co-infection with other STIs.

APPENDIX I A short input on Empathy Written by: Fr. Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J., Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM), Ateneo De Manila University What is Empathy? “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.” (S. Covey) Empathetic listening and the Empathetic sharing! This is what we are asking every father present here to learn as his most potent, personal and spiritual skills toward real intimacy with his wife and every one of his children. I said spiritual skill because without God’s presence being experienced by the father – as we saw in the previous session (“Maka-Diyos”) – he will not succeed in being real, habitual, empathetic listener and sharer. EMPATHETIC LISTENING. Empathy means nothing more and nothing less than COMPASSION. It is to reach to the other by setting myself aside, so that I can understand the other with my heart, and not with my critical, logical, judgmental mind. To enter the world of the other, place myself in the shoes of the other, so that I could BE WITH, THINK WITH and FEEL WITH the OTHER. “Other” here means either the wife, or a son, or a daughter. To experience reality from the other’s world and perspective is easier said and done, particularly when I am feeling angry, or hurt, or emotionally upset. Before I can experience empathy, I need to become aware of my love for the one I am trying to listen to (my wife, son or daughter). And then I need to be aware of God’s presence within me, and in the person of the other, as we have learned in our session on “Maka-Diyos”. And it is the same love and God’s loving presence within me that will motivate me to share myself with empathy. EMPATHETIC SHARING As a father, I need to share deepest feelings, not only positive feelings (like my love, joy, tenderness, and others), my also negative and ambivalent feelings, precisely, when I am faced with a conflict situation with my wife, son or daughter - my feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, and others.

With empathy in my heart, especially after having listened to the other with empathy, I now express my negative and ambivalent feelings by means of “I-Messages” – not you-messages. (E.g. I feel very upset in what you are telling me” rather than “You did something very bad”). Here, you own your feelings, reporting them directly but in a nonjudgmental way, in an empathic way. Describe how the situation is affecting you. (E.g. “Every time this happens, my feelings of affection suffer, and seem to grow cold.”) In conclusion then: When a father is able to practice both empathetic listening and empathetic sharing with members of his family, there is no doubt that his intimacy with them will grow, as well as his friendship and love for his family. Process Activities on Empathy A. Demo-Session (The facilitator will now demonstrate how empathetic listening and empathetic sharing are done by taking the role of a father, and asking a volunteer from the group to take the role of a son. In front of the whole group, the two will now role-play a typical conflict situation between father and son. A 20-minute session would be sufficient. An open forum will then follow, where questions and clarifications can be entertained.) B. Role-Play Session in Small Groups (A role-play session will now be done in small groups. In every group, one will take the role of father, and another will take the role of son. They then role-play a typical problem-situation between father and son. Processing in the small group follows. This will end with processing in the total group for the learning of the participants). C. Sample Case Studies for Role-Play Sessions 1. A teenage, unmarried daughter asks for a dialogue with her father and reveals to him that she is pregnant.

2. A teenage son asks for a dialogue with his father and reveals to him that he cannot graduate from high school because he flunked his final exams.

APPENDIX J DIRECTORY OF TREATMENT AND REHABILITATION CENTERS A.

Residential Centers

NATIONAL CAPITAL REGION (NCR) Bridges of Hope Drugs and Alcoholic Rehabilitation Center 364 Aguirre Ave, Ph3 BF Homes, Parañaque City Contact Person: Mr. Arturo Crespo Program Director Tel No: (02) 571-9951 Fax No: (02) 871-5578 Capacity: 20 (Male and Female) Department of HealthBicutan Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Camp Bagong Diwa, Bicutan, Taguig City Contact Person: Dr. Marvin V. Diokno Director II Tel No: (02) 379-5553 (02) 379-5551 Capacity: 500 (Male and Female) Marikina Rehabilitation Center East Drive St., cor. Champagnat St., Marikina Heights, Marikina City Contact Person: Mr. Alfredo P. Castro Jr. Center Administrator Tel No: (02) 475-4269 Fax No: (02) 645-6407 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female) New Bilibid Prison Drug Abuse Treatment and Rehabilitation Center NBP Reservation, Brgy. Poblacion, Muntinlupa City Contact Person: Dr. Ricardo Anselmo Tablang, Program Administrator Tel No: (02) 850-0992 Capacity: 50 (Male)

Quezon City Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation Center “Tahanan” Diamond Hills Subdivision, Group II Area B Payatas, Quezon City Contact Person: Ms. Rowena T. Macatao Officer In-Charge Tel No: (02) 922-4361 (02) 444-7272 Capacity: 150 (Male and Female) Roads and Bridges to Recovery 520 EDBEN Bldg. Dr. Sixto Antonio Ave., Maybunga, Pasig City Contact Person: Dr. Benita Sta. Ana-Ponio Executive Director Tel No: (02) 643-6006 Fax No: (02) 643-4572 Capacity: 62 (Male and Female) REGION III Bulacan Drug Rehabilitation Foundation, Inc. Serapio-Ting Ville, San Nicolas, Bulakan, Bulacan Contact Person: Dr. Roberto D. Ramirez Tel No: (044) 896-0319 Capacity: 40 (Male and Female) Central Luzon Drug Rehabilitation Center Brgy. Sto. Niño, Magalang, Pampanga Contact Person: Mr. Benigno Espino Executive Director Tel No: 0918-9029194 0917-5159985 Capacity: 250 (Male and Female) Nanay Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center Gulod, Poblacion, Pandi, Bulacan Contact Person: Dr. Virginia Tordesillas Tel No: 0916-6275132 (044) 815-4670 Capacity: 36 (Male and Female)

Rebirth Philippines Therapeutic Community Foundation, Inc. 71 Wakas South, Pilar, Bataan Contact Person: Eloisa S. Tria, DMD Executive Director Tel No: (047) 791-2166 (047) 237-5377 Capacity: 34 (Male and Female)

REGION IV-A Bridgehall Community Foundation, Inc. Treatment Facility For Alcoholics and Drug Dependence Brgy. Banaba, Cerca, Indang, Cavite Contact Person: Mr. Dennis C. Enciso President Contact No: 0917-7946734 0917-8005501 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female) Center for Christian Recovery 777 Outlook Drive, Loresville, Subdivision, San Roque, Antipolo City Contact Person: Mr. Cenen Enrique W. Corpus Executive Director Tel No: (02) 697-5861 Capacity: 14 (Male and Female) Change and Recovery (CARE) Treatment and Rehabilitation Center D. Cruzado Road, Guinhawa South, Tagaytay City Contact Person: Mr. Peter Paul S. Flordelis Facility Director Contact No: 0917-8982935 (046) 695-8009 Capacity: 38 (Male and Female) Cheers Therapeutic Community, Inc. 25 Patutong Malaki, South, Tagaytay City Contact Person: Mr. Endrico G. Gentile Program Director Tel No: (046) 413-2802 (02) 504-1797 Capacity: 40 (Male and Female)

Crossroads Treatment and Rehabilitation, Inc. 5 Woodpecker Drive, Victoria Valley Subdivision, Antipolo City Contact Person: Fr. Clifford G. Gavina Executive Director Tel No: (02) 871-0086 Capacity: 28 (Male and Female) Department of HealthTagaytay City Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Ipil St., Kaybagal South, Tagaytay City Contact Person: Dr. Carmelita B. Belgica Chief Tel No: (046) 483-1334 Capacity: 120 (Male) The Nazareth Foemation House “A Bob Garon Therapeutic Community” Brgy. Lapo-Lapo St, San Jose, Batangas Contact Person: Ms. Emerita Garon Executive Director Tel No: (02) 820-6107 (043) 706-3338 Fax No: (02) 826-6234 Capacity: 50 (Male AND Female ) Seagulls Flight Foundation, Inc. Brgy. Neogan, Aguinaldo Highway, Tagaytay City HQ: 504 Park Trade Center 1716, Investment Drive Madrigal Business Park, Ayala, Alabang, Muntinlupa City Contact Person: Mr. Eddie L. Castillo President Tel No: (02) 809-4847 (02) 809-8776 (046) 413-4542 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female)

Self-Enhancement for Life Foundation, Inc. 77 Brgy. Miranda, Talisay, Batangas HQ: Unit 506 Southgate Bldg. Finance Drive Madrigal Business Park, Ayala, Alabang, Muntinlupa City Contact Person: Mr. Martin R. Infante President Tel No: (02) 809--3491 (043) 773-0354 (046) 413-4542 Fax: (02) 809-7235 Capacity: 80 (Male and Female) Serenity House of Sobriety 3575 ME Calamba Rd, Brgy Sungay East, Tagaytay City Contact Person: Ms. Amy Gay V. Laboc Center Director Tel No: (046) 483-1637 (046) 860-2558 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female) Springwells of Hope, Inc. Drug and Alcohol Abuse Rehabilitation Center 55 Brgy. Pansol, Calamba, Laguna Contact Person: Mr. Gonzalo Jesus R. Garcia III Managing Director Tel No: (02) 420-8243 Fax No: (049) 545-3644 Capacity: 40 (Male and Female) Tahanan ng Kabataan ng Laguna Brgy. Bungkol, Magdalena, Laguna (Provincial Social Welfare and Development Office) Contact Person: Mr. Ernesto Montecillo Center Director Tel No: (049) 501-2294 Capacity: 50 (Male) One Algon Place Foundation, Inc. 0633 Brgy. Mamatid, Cabuyao, Laguna Contact Person: Ms. Mariaceli Gonzales Program Administrator Tel No: (049) 502-2297 (02) 861-0593 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female)

REGION V Department of HealthCamarines Sur Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Pamukid, San Fernando, Camarines Sur Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Lourdes Anson Officer In-Charge Tel No: (054) 478-4769 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female) Department of HealthMalinao Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Brgy. Comun, Malinao, Albay Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Teresa C. Iñigo Officer In-Charge Tel No: (052) 830-5390 Fax No: (052) 483-0840 Capacity: 60 (Male)

REGION VI Negros Occidental Drug Rehabilitation Center “Ang Dalangpan” Camp Gen. Anicato Lacson Cpd, Victoria City, Negros Occidental Contact Person: Dr. Ernesto A. Palanca Executive Director Telefax: (034) 399--3388 Capacity: 60 (Male and Female) WVMC Substance Abuse Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Brgy. Rumbang, Pototan, Iloilo Contact Person: Dr. Mariano S. Hembra OIC-TRC Chief Tel No: (033) 529-8955 Capacity: 50 (Male)

REGION VII Cebu North General Hospital Chemical Dependent’s Control and Rehabilitation Center Kauswagan Road, Talamban Cebu City Contact Person: Mr. Manuel Delos Santos Program Director Tel No: (032) 343-7777 Capacity: 48 (Male and Female) House of Hope, Inc. 888 B9-A Osmeña St., Gun-ob, Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu Contact Person: Pastor Roel M. Allocod Center Director Tel No: (032) 340-7941 Fax No: (032) 239-0309 Capacity: 50 (Male) Roads and Bridges to Recovery, Cebu Branch Upper Maliu Beach St., Subangdaku, Mandaue City, Cebu Contact Person: Dr. Benita Sta. Ana-Ponio Executive Director Tel No: (02) 643-6006 (032) 344-2142 Capacity: 80 (Male and Female) We Do Recover, The Center for Creative Living Solutions 3rd Street, La Guardia, Lahug, Cebu City Contact Person: Mr. Vicente G. Aldanese Center Director Telefax No: (032) 231-5229 0918-9379851 Capacity: 30 (Male and Female)

REGION VIII Department of HealthDulag, Leyte Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Brgy. Highway, Dulag Leyte Contact Person: Dr. Teresita M. Cajano Facility Head Tel No: (053) 322-2200 Capacity: 30 (Male)

REGION X It Works! Chemical Dependency Treatment Center Purok Mauswagon, Tinago, Ozamis City Misamis Occidental Contact Person: Mr. Florencio Francisco Program Director Tel No: (088) 521-1281 Capacity: 25 (Male) Misamis Occidental Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation Center Purok 1, Brgy. Buenavista, Oroqueta City Contact Person: Jonathan Callanta Program Director Tel No: (088) 531-1639 Telefax: (088) 586-0341 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female) REGION XI Davao City Treatment and Rehabilitation Center for Drug Dependents Bago Oshiro, Tugbok District, Davao City Contact Person: Dr. Gene L. Gulanes Center Manager Tel No: (082) 293-0252 Capacity: 100 (Male and Female) Luntiang Paraiso Regional Rehabilitation Center for Drug and Alcoholic Dependency Purok 2, Brgy. Poblacion, Municipality of New Corella Province of Davao del Norte Contact Person: Ms. Gabriela S. Logronio Executive Director Contact No: 0916-3747024 Capacity: 50 (Male)

New Day Recovery Center, Inc. Babista Compd., Beach Club Rd. Lanang, Davao City Contact Person: Mr. Jerry Joseph C. Valderama Addiction Program Director Tel No: (082) 234-1002 (082) 233-1719 Capacity: 40 (Male and Female) REGION - CARAGA New Living Solutions Chemical Dependency Treatment Center Purok 3, Brgy. Sto. Niño Magallanes, Agusan del Norte Contact Person: Mr. Alonzo T. L. Young President Tel No: (085) 225-3485 Telefax: (085) 342-5093 Capacity: 50 (Male and Female)

B. Non- Residential Centers REGION – National Capital Region The New Beginnings Foundation, Inc. Unit 101 Midland Mansion Condominium 839 Pasay Road, Makati City Contact Person: Mr. Conrado L. Ayuyao Jr. Executive Director Telefax: (02) 894-5399 REGION XI CHD XI Outpatient and Aftercare Center for Drug Dependents CHD Davao Region. J.P. Laurel Ave., Bajada Davao City Contact Person: Mr. Rustum Fanugao Jr. Officer In-Charge Tel No: (082) 305-1495

ARMM Maguindanao Provincial Hospital Outpatient Treatment and Rehabilitation Center MPH Compound, Limpongo Shariff Aguak, Maguindanao Contact Person: Dr. Harris Macapeges Municipal Health Officer Tel No: (064) 489-0932

REFERENCES

Biller, Henry B. and Trotter, Robert J. The Father Factor, 1994 Catalfo, Philip. Raising Children in a Material World, 1997 Dodson, Fitzhugh. How to Father, 1975 Dangerous Drugs Act of 1972 (Republic Act 6425) DSWD. Parent Effectiveness Service Manual, 2001 DSWD. Marriage Counseling Service Manual, 2002 DSWD, Manual on National Family Violence Prevention Program, 2000 DSWD/Philippine National AIDS Council CPNAC, Care and Support; A Self Instructional Manual for Social Workers or HIV/AIDS/STI, 2002 Gray, John. Men are from Mars, Women ad from Venus, 1992 Hunter, Lyda. Parenting on Your Own, 1997 Lewis, Paul. The Five Key Habits of SMART DADS, 1996 Osherson, Samuel. Finding Our Fathers, 1986 Vidal, Plaridel F. War Against Drug Abuse, 1998.