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ENDGAME PROLOGUE By Steven McConnell

I’ve always been wary of people who claim to have the answers to my problems. You know the ones: “Have a washboard stomach in 4 weeks–never have to work out again!” “Make money online–make money while you sleep!” “Attract women like a magnet–women will approach you!” Especially that last one–oh, women, the glorious women, and the promise of magic powers over them by a guy who spent most of his teenage years casting his eyes at a beautiful femme only to be stopped by a thought: “I’m not in her league.” Or “what should I say?” or “what do I need to do to make her like me?” or some other variation on that theme. And it wasn’t until I ended up in a very strange conversation with a random man whose haircut looked like part Bruce Lee and part mishap with an upturned soup bowl that I realized why those quick fix solutions have never worked for me and for so many other guys I’ve spoken to. “Excuse me, did you just grab my arse?” the stranger in front of me spun around. I was about to push past him, as I was navigating the courtyard of one of Sydney’s busiest bars. This watering hole was a well-known destination for rowdy English backpackers, legions of drunken hens arriving by party bus load and, you guessed it, aspiring pickup artists. It also gave a new meaning to the term “watering hole” because the beverage of choice for most of said pickup artists was a large glass of iced water, sucked through a long straw from within a tight circle of like-minded water lovers. It was a Tuesday night, and if you walked through the crowd, you’d easily catch snippets of pickup wisdom being offered, debated and defended alongside the usual bar racket. And if you were the one walking through the crowd, chances were, you were in search of a suitable female on

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which you aimed to test out your most recently acquired pickup wisdom. Internally, you’d be in a mild state of analysis paralysis, processing a million thoughts per second, and secretly hoping that no such female crossed your path. Externally, you’d be trying to project a confident, alpha male exterior to this room full of strangers who you were convinced were watching your every move. Your face would be warmed with a smile, but not too much. You’d make good eye contact, but not too much. You’d be armed with a good opener on the tip of your tongue, but not being committed to it too much. You’d try to seem a bit vulnerable, but not too much. You’d be walking with shoulders back, but not too much. Oh, and giving value, but not too much. It was on one of those walks, caught up in the middle of all that internal dialogue madness, where I bumped into the moppy-headed stranger. “Sorry, but I was just looking for your wallet. Oh, it’s in the front. Don’t mind me.” Yes, I could banter as well as anyone, unless, of course, I was in front of a cute girl. Speaking of which, I noticed one of those–a short, curvy brunette – now occupying my new friend’s attention. And, just behind them–a cute, tall, slender blondie making eyes at him as well. Hmmm. Maybe this guy was someone I could learn from? I watched him bounce from woman to woman, laughing, playing, and making each woman feel special and alive. What was the result? They seemed to want more. I wanted more! More of whatever mojo he was on. One or two women brushed him off with a tight-lipped smile, but that didn’t seem to faze him at all. He’d just thank them, move on to the next (and hotter) group of girls and make friends there. I caught up with him in the men’s toilets, where he was busy trying to dissolve a urinal cake. “Hey man, what’s your deal? How do you get all that attention?” “Oh, hey mate. Mostly by chatting up dudes, in a urinal. That’s the secret these days. It seems you’re well on your way to becoming a master so I might leave you to it!” He replied with a cheeky smile. “Well, it’s kind of hard to get your attention with all those women hanging off you. I’ve been trying all night but it’s not getting me anywhere. Come on, tell me. I’ve tried everything I’ve learnt but it’s not working. What’s the deal?” “Oh, ok. I get it. I know what that means. I could tell you, but you wouldn’t believe me. You’re probably one of those pickup artists or something, aren’t you?” He did up his zip and washed his hands. “Well, I’ve read some stuff, I’ve met a few, and I post on some forums, but I wouldn’t say I’m a hard core fan.

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Why would it matter, anyway?” “You guys are so caught up in your complex theories and evolutionary psychology to see the most obvious answer in the world. I could tell you, but it wouldn’t fit any one of your techniques, routines, and systems. So you guys usually just dismiss it. And I’ve got women to play with, anyway.” And with that, he was off. She was 5’6″ brunette with blue eyes and had curves from here to eternity, and she was in his lap. It took me 20 minutes to get his attention again. “I promise I’ll listen. Is it some special confidence technique? What is it?” “OK. You want to know the secret? Here it is. But listen up! You really have to listen to get what I’m talking about. I mean really listen. Are you listening?” “Sure.” “When you’re on, you’re on. When you’re having the time of your life, when you’re not focusing on what other people are thinking and just doing what you want, when you’re just being real, open and letting out the larger than life ‘you’ that you have locked inside, you don’t have to learn pickup lines or special things to talk about, everything just happens. So why would you waste your time with that stuff?” It made so much sense. “So I just have to learn how to be ‘on’ and I’ll be able to make girls attracted to me?” “See? I told you that you have to listen carefully, and you didn’t so you missed it. Sorry. Time for me to play again.” He went back to the brunette again. The bastard. I sat down to think about what he had just said. When you’re having the time of your life, when you’re not focusing on what other people are thinking and just doing what you want, when you’re just being real, open and letting out the larger than life ‘you’ that you have locked inside– It didn’t make sense. He’s just talking about getting in the zone to get girls. That’s no secret. Even those pickup artist guys know that. So how could I be wrong? What was he talking about? “Please?” “Why do you want to know this? What are you into this for? “I love women. I think they’re beautiful, they smell great, they’re bubbly and fun, and I want to be around them more, and I just don’t know what to do.” “Okay, you seem like you’re a good guy, and you seem like you have good intentions, which is more than most guys. So I’ll tell you the secret. Listen, think about it, and then see how you go. I told you that you just need to have the time of your life and you won’t have to worry about any of that ‘pickup’ stuff.” “Yeah, I know you said that. You said just have to get ‘on’ and you can get any girl.” “See, you missed it again. I didn’t say you could get any girl. I said you don’t have to bother with any pickup stuff. There is a very big difference, and it’s the difference that separates my success from yours. I know

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because I’ve stood in your shoes, and it wasn’t till this clicked that I could run the entire club and have the time of my life.” I felt confused and lost. “Okay. I still don’t get it.” “Then let’s try something. Have you spoken to any women here tonight?” I smiled, because I’d done a very impressive amount of sets tonight. “Yeah, at least seven.” “Good. I want you to think back to the last one you spoke to. When you went up to her, what story were you trying to tell her?” I scanned the room, looking for her. She was a short, petite blonde girl with a big smile. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I managed to squeeze out, “Well, I started with a natural ‘Hi’ opener and then gave her some value.” before I was cut off. He was shaking his head at me “No. I didn’t ask you about what pickup theory you executed. I asked you this: what story were you trying to tell her about yourself? What image were you trying to make her see of you? How did you want her to perceive you?” “That I’m a high-value, cool guy. I wanted her to see me as having my shit together. I wanted her to see that I was fun, outgoing, playful, and had the kind of life that she wanted to be a part of, I guess.” “Great. Really good answer. Now, think about it. So, first, consider that you’re trying to manipulate her perception of you. And there is nothing wrong with that. You can choose to do that, if you want. But why were you doing it?” “I don’t know.” “Well, have a look! What was going on for you in that moment?” This was far deeper than I’d really planned on going in this cheap bar, but I guess it was leading somewhere. “Well, I wanted her to be attracted to me. I wanted her to come home with me.” “Okay, great. Now, consider this: the motivation behind any action is a feeling. And you’re telling her this story about yourself because you want to feel a particular way. How do you want to feel?” “Umm. I don’t know.” “Okay, let’s slow this down. How do you feel right now?” I shook my head a little and searched around me for an answer. “Confused.” “Great. And before that, before I started talking to you. Were you happy, neutral, or sad?” “Oh, I’d say pretty neutral.” He smiled and nodded. “And how would you feel if that brunette you were watching me play with started touching you like she was touching me?” This was a no-brainer. “Happy, obviously!” “So you’re neutral now. And in order for you to be happy, you need her to come over and be into you?” I paused for a second. I’d never thought of it like that. “Yeah, I guess.” “So, you’re not happy now and you’re making her responsible for your happiness. How much of a role do you

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think the fact that you’re not happy now and you’re waiting for her to make you happy is affecting your chances with her? How much would you want to talk to someone who was needy, clingy, and trying to get you to make them happy?” I took a deep breath in and thought back. I’d hung around needy and clingy people before. I’d felt the constriction that they bring. I’d always thought to myself that I was glad I wasn’t like that. I guess I just hadn’t thought about it enough. “Here’s the difference. I’m happy now, without her. I’m not focusing on trying to make her attracted to me, or getting her to approve of me; I’m simply taking control of my happiness. Instead of trying to make other people the shining light of my otherwise dull world, I’m creating a world full of excitement and happiness that people just want to be part of. I don’t have to focus on creating attraction in her. She’s naturally attracted to me! And I wouldn’t even know a thing about how to do ‘natural game’ or whatever.” He had a point, but he was missing something key. “Hang on, so you’re telling me that I need to be self-amused? People have been saying that for years.” “Yes and no. Yes, because when you’re happy and fulfilled and self-amused in your life, meeting new women becomes a side effect of your happiness. And no because if you’re just ‘being self amused’ so that women will like you, you’re still placing responsibility for your happiness on their shoulders.” It made so much sense. Being truly self-amused has nothing to do with doing what you want so that other people will like you. That’s not self-amusing at all. It can’t be about anyone else. “I think I get it.” He continued passionately. “That’s the issue. It’s not what you’re doing. It’s why you’re doing it. If you’re being self amused so that women will like you, you’re not going to bring anything to her world, you’re not adding anything to her life, and you’re following a map that you think will allow you to get things from her more effectively. If you’re being self-amused so that people will like you, then you’re still going to face the same issue that you’re facing now. If you’re doing anything, just so that people will like you then you’re never going to come out on top. You’re still going to have to learn lines, routines, methods, and techniques to disguise the fact that you’re dissatisfied with your life and that you’re hoping she’s going to fill that gaping, empty hole in your heart. It’s only once you’re able to get to a place where you don’t need women that you’re ever really going to get the success you want because you’re not putting any pressure on them to be responsible for your life.” “But I like women and want them in my life. Are you saying I should get to a place where I don’t want women anymore? You obviously want women.” “That’s right. I love women. I adore women. I think they’re amazing creatures. But I don’t need them in my life to feel happy or complete. I’m talking about something different here; I’m talking about not needing them. There’s a huge difference between wanting and needing. Wanting or desiring is where you’re complete without the thing, but you’d still like it. Needing is where you feel incomplete without it. The difference is that when you need something, your life is in deficit without it. With wanting, your life is full without it and it’s just an added bonus.” “I see.” I took a deep breath and thought back to the women I’d met tonight: the tall brunette, the short Norwegian blonde, and the shy redhead. When you really cut it all back to the core, I’d been using them all. “And this is what you were saying about learning the pickup stuff–it’s all about trying to make her attracted to you, rather

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than creating a life that’s naturally attractive to beautiful women.” He smiled and nodded. “Now you’re getting it!” “But couldn’t you just do both?” He shook his head and took a deep breath. “Some people say yes, but I don’t believe it’s possible. Sure, you could do the things that make you happy and just do a little bit of stuff to make you more attractive to her, but you have to consider the underlying mindset. If you’re focused on creating the kind of life that you want and making yourself happy, then it’s all about you. It’s you taking control of your life and doing the things that you desire to do. If you’re focused on trying to be more attractive to her, you’re not focusing on what you want to do; you’re focusing on what you think she wants you to do. One is focused inwards, the other, outwards. They’re diametrically opposed. If you want to be naturally amazing with women, you have to pick one.” “But it sounds so like such a long journey!” “Well, the way I look at it. You could spend years learning different techniques to cover every possible scenario and every possible situation that can occur when you’re trying to make her attracted to you. You could learn different openers for day time, then night time, then mixed groups, then all girl groups, and spend months perfecting those, then you could learn different stories and routines for all the different situations, then you could learn the different social dynamics of all those areas, then you could keep going, and going, and going, and going. And even if you did do that, what kind of women would you attract? One who’s willing to settle for a guy who’s too afraid to stand up for what he believes in and changes himself so that people will like him. What kind of woman is that? Probably just as shallow, insecure, and needy as he is. Or, you could not even worry about that kind of stuff, you could start being real, genuine, open, honest, having the time of your life, right now, without having to ‘learn’ or ‘internalize’ all this useless stuff and then find people who complement that life. What kind of women do you think you’re going to attract then? And which journey sounds longer and more rewarding?” It was starting to make a bit of sense. “So, what you’re saying is that the secret to being incredibly attractive to women isn’t learning all the different things that an attractive person does, it’s becoming an attractive person so all those things come out naturally.” “Now, you’re getting it.” I stopped and looked around the bar. “But what about doing all those things that I’ve been told that I have to do, like qualification and leading and being an alpha male and having some solid material to talk about?” “Okay, another great question. If you had a fulfilling life that was fun, filled with great times and great adventures, would you want anyone to come into it and interrupt it or would you be selective about who was part of it?” “I’d be pretty selective.” “Great. You just did qualification. Now, if you lived a fulfilling life that was fun and amazing, would you sit back and wait for other people to take the lead and tell you what to do or would you be going off and doing the things that you loved?” “I’d be doing the things I love, I guess.”

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“Great. You just did leading. Now, if you lived a fulfilling life filled with fun and adventure, would you have to come up with stories to try and impress people or do you think your life would be filled with fun and interesting things to talk about?” “There’d be plenty of fun things to talk about.” “Great. You just got some solid material to talk about. Now, if you lived a fulfilling life filled with fun and adventure, would you sit on the sidelines being needy and clingy, desperately trying to work out ways to get people to like you or would you do what you want, when you want to, regardless of what other people thought of you?” “I’d just be doing what I want.” “Great. You just became an Alpha Male. Would you like a certificate?” “Yeah.” “Great. Just slip me $50, and I’ll get it made up right now. Anyway, I’m off to play. Ms Brunette’s getting tired and is looking for a place to lie down. Maha.” “Wait. So, what you’re saying is that I should just go up to her and try and determine if she’s the kind of woman I want in my life?” “No. What I’m saying is that you should go home now, and do that with the rest of your life first. Create the kind of life that the people you want to bring into your life are attracted to because it’s the kind of life that you’re attracted to. Create the kind of life that excites you when you wake up in the morning, and you have trouble getting to sleep at night because you’re so excited about tomorrow. Then, when you have that life for yourself, go out and find people that you want to be part of that life. See how many issues you have ‘running out of things to say’ then– Good luck, brother.” And with a flick of his ridiculous hair, he was gone. Straight into the waiting arms of the woman that I wanted. I grabbed my water, walked outside, and sat down. It took a while to sink in but I realized something very clearly–I’ve been using women all this time. Well, at least I’d been trying to. It’s no wonder that they didn’t want to be part of my life. I was offering them nothing and trying to take everything! No wonder I was struggling with my openers and my techniques. Under the surface, I was still the same old needy chump! Wow. It’s so simple. He was right. It was two weeks before I was able to find LoGun again but when I did, I wasn’t going to let him get away with screwing with my mind like that and not giving me the answers I needed. After two weeks, the change was unbelievable. After four, I was unrecognisable. No more lines, no more pickup theory. I was real, alive, and powerful. It’s time to show you how that happened.

Steven

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