End of The Rainbow Script

 

End of the Rainbow Peter Quilter is recognized to be one of the most widely produced young  playwrights in th  playwrights thee world. worl d. His work has has been produced in thirty-six thirty-six cou coun ntries and translated into twenty-three languages. His plays have been presented in major theatres in cities as diverse as Sydney, Amsterdam, Berlin, Johannesburg, Warsaw, Chicago, Caracas, Helsinki, Budapest, Rome, Montreal, Madrid, Rio de Janeiro and London.

He began his career in 1999 with the pop industry comedy BoyBand  comedy  BoyBand  which  which  played a summ summer season seas on at tthe he G Gielgu ielgud d Theatre Theatre in L London ondon’s ’s W West est En End d before travelling to Holland, Denmark, Poland, Slovakia, Estonia and South Africa. His wo work since si nce then has assicals ranged from fem female ale monologues ( Just t he Ticket  the Ticket ) to farces (rk (Curtain Curtain Up) h Up) mu musical s ((The The Canterville Ghost ) and dramas (Celebrity Celebrity). ). In addition to th thee w worldw orldwide ide success of End of the t he Rainbow Rainbow,, Peter has also enjoyed international acclaim for his comedy Glorious! (the True Story of   Florence Foster Jenkins, Jenki ns, the W Worst orst Singer Si nger in the t he W World  orld ). ). The show show played pl ayed a six-month run at London’s Duchess Theatre in 2006 starring Maureen Lipman and was nominated for the Olivier Award for Best New Comedy. Glorious! has since played in over a hundred theatres across six continents. Peter is also th thee w writer riter of the the popular and award-winn award- winning ing 2009 comedy Duets comedy Duets  – an evening evening compris comprised ed of four four diff different erent plays, each perform performed ed in a ttour our de force by the same two actors. In 2011, he wrote two new plays – The ightingales (a ightingales  (a nostalgic musical based around a theatrical family in the 1950s) and The Morning After  (a  (a modern comedy set entirely in a bedroom).

 

Peter Quilter

End of the Rainbow

 

Contents Act One Act Two

 

End of the Rainbow To Felix Fel ix  For everything  everyt hing 

 

nd of the Rainbow was Rainbow was first performed in this revised version in the UK at Royal & Derngate, Northampton on 5 February 2010, Artistic Director Laurie Sansom, Chief Executive Martin Sutherland, and received its first performance in the West West End at Trafalgar Stu Studio dios, s, London on 22 November 2 2010 010 presented pre sented  by Lee Lee Dean Dean,, Jenny Jenny Topper, Lauren Laurence ce Myers, Myers, Charles Diam Diamond, ond, H Hilar ilary y Williams and David Bailey for Pinstripe Productions. Judy Jud y Ga Garlan rland d

Tracie rac ie Benn Bennett ett

Anthony

Hilton McRae

Mickey Deans

Stephen Hagan

Radio Interviewer/Porter/ASM

Robin Browne

 Director   Terry er ry John Jo hnso son n Set and Design   Wil illi liam Dudle dley y  Lighti  Lighting ngCostume Design Design   Design  Simon Corder  Corde r am Du Sound Design  Design  Gareth Owen usical Supervision  Supervision  Gareth Gar eth Val alentine entine

 

The production received its North American premiere at the Guthrie Theater, Minneapolis on 28 January 2012, Artistic Director Joe Dowling. It featured the following followi ng cast and creatives:

Judy Ga Judy Garlan rland d Anthony

Tracie rac ie Benn Bennett ett Michael Cumpsty

Mickey Deans

Tom Pelphrey

Radio Interviewer/Porter/ASM

Jay Russell

 Director   Terry er ry John Jo hnso son n Set and Costume Design  Design  Wil illi liam am Du Dudle dley y  Lighting  Lighti ng Design Design   Christopher Akerl Akerlind ind Sound Design Gar Gareth eth Owen Owen usical Supervision/  usical Arrangements  Arrangements  Gareth Gar eth Val alentine entine Orchestrations   Chris Egan Orchestrations usical Director/Conductor   Jeff Harris Stage Manager   Mark Dobrow  ssistant  ssis tant Stage St age Manager   Rachel Zack 

 

nd of the Rainbow opened Rainbow opened on Broadway at the Belasco Theatre on 2 April 2012, presented by Lee Dean, Laurence Myers, Joey Parnes, Ellis Goodman, Chase Mishkin, Shadowcatcher Shadowca tcher Entertainm Entertainment/Alhadeff ent/Alhadeff Productions, Nati National onal Angels An gels U.S. Inc., Charle Charless Di Diam amond/Je ond/Jenn nny yT Topper, opper, Myla Myla Lerner/Barba erner/ Barbara ra & Buddy Freitag, Spring Spr ing Sirkin/Candy Gold, Hila Hilary ry W Wil illi liam amss and S.D. Wagn agner, er, John Johnson Johnson in as associ sociation ation w with ith the the Guthri Guthriee Theater. Judy Jud y Ga Garlan rland d

Tracie rac ie Benn Bennett ett

Anthony

Michael Cumpsty

Mickey Deans

Tom Pelphrey

Radio Interviewer/Porter/ASM

Jay Russell

 Director   Terry er ry John Jo hnso son n Set and Costume Design  Design  Wil illi liam am Du Dudle dley y  Lighti ng Design  Lighting Design   Christopher Akerl Akerlind ind Sound Design  Design  Gareth Owen Orchestrations   Chris Egan Orchestrations usical Arrangements  Arrangements  Gareth Gar eth Val alentine entine usic Direction  Direction  Jeffrey Saver  usic Coordinator   Seymour Seymour “Red” Press  Producti  Pr oduction on Stage Ma Manager  nager   Mark Dobrow Stage Manager   Rachel Zack 

 

Characters Judy Ga Judy Garlan rland d, American,  American, lat latee forties, fort ies, but looking lookin g much older  Mickey Deans, her American American fiancé – early thirties Anthony, her English pianist, fifties/sixties Radio Interviewer Porter ASM

t is Christma Christmass 1968. A suite at the Ritz Hotel in central London.

Song List ‘I Can’t Give You Anything but Love’ (Fields/McHugh) (Fields/McHugh) ‘I Belong to London’ (A (Anonymous nonymous)) ‘Just in Time’ ((Comden/Gr Comden/Green/St een/Styne yne)) ‘For Me and My Gal’ (Goetz/Leslie/Meyer ) ‘You Made Me Love You’ (Monaco/McCarthy) (Monaco/McCarthy) ‘The Trolle Trolleyy Song’ (Mart (Martin/Blan in/Blanee) ‘The Man that Got Away’ (Arlen/Gershwin) (Arlen/Gershwin) ‘When You’re Smiling’ (Goodwin/Shay/Fisher ) ‘Come Rain or Come Shine’ ((A Arlen/Mercer  rlen/ Mercer ) ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ (Arlen/Harburg )

 

ct One Scene One ( Note: In this t his sce scene, ne, althou although gh there are negative moments, the general  gene ral  eeling is optimistic and playful.) playful.)  suite at the Ritz Hotel in London. A piano upstage centre. A stack of   suitcases  suit cases and a touring t ouring ttrunk. runk. A pool of light reveals  reveals Anthony at the piano. e plays a few bars of music – a gentle, quiet version of ‘‘Somew Somewher heree Over  the Rainbow’. He He hears voices in the corridor (ad lib  lib Judy and  Mickey) and   stops playing. pl aying. W Wanting anting tto o surprise surpri se  Judy, he exits into the bathroom. The door opens and in walks  walks Judy, surveyi  surveying ng the room. She switches on the lights. Judy 

It’ It’ss sm small aller. er.

nter  Mickey, carrying a briefcase and an overnight bag. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

No, it isn’t. is n’t. They’re They’re all th thee same size. How would you know? know? Because I asked. Then th they ey li lied ed to you you.. I’ve stayed here before. before . This roo room m has shrunk  shrunk 

Mickey  You rem re member the ro room? om? Hal Halff the time you don’t kn know ow what city ci ty you’re in. Judy  Mickey 

It’s the li little ttle thing thingss I rem re member, not the big bi g picture. pi cture. Let’s not debate deba te th this. is.

 

Judy 

It’s a ro room om for mid idgets. gets.

Mickey  Judy 

Can we change change th thee subjec subject? t? Oh Oh,, dar darli ling ng,, th that’s at’s fine. Chan Change ge what you like, li ke, I can carry car ry on by

myself for hours. Mickey 

Sure you can. ca n. But I know know how how to shut you up.

e grabs her and gives her a long kiss on the lips. Judy 

… Wil illl you marry ar ry me?

Mickey 

We alr already eady had th that at conversation. convers ation.

Judy (looking  (looking at her engagement ring ) Mickey  Judy 

Oh yes, so we did.

… You need to un unpac pack. k. Oh honey honey,, I don’t do that. I have peo peopl ple. e.

Mickey 

Not any mor oree you don’t.

Judy  Oh. ( Looking at his hi s groin. groin.)) Well, then I think it might be time for you for you to unpack. Mickey  Judy 

Judy! I just wa want nt to make sure n nothing othing el else se in this hotel has shrunk. shrunk.

She gets on her knees and is undoing  Mickey’s zi zipper pper when the t he bathroom door opens and  Anthony steps  steps out. out . Anthony 

Hello!

Judy ( surprised   surpri sed )

Anthony!

 

oth are shocked. shocked. She gets to her ffeet eet and  Mickey does up his zipper. Judy 

… Is th this is your   your  room?  room?

Anthony  Judy 

You’r ou’ree slee sl eepi ping ng in the bathro bathroom? om? We have to pay you more. or e.

Anthony  Judy 

No, it didn’t.

But you’re back bac k to pl play ay for me anyway?

Anthony 

Judy 

But I haven’t played pla yed for you for … Five year years. s. – Melbourne.

Melbourne?! Oh … I don’t th think ink Melbourne we went nt terribly terri bly wel welll …

Anthony  Judy 

Earrings.

That’s ri righ ght. t. I never take them off.

Anthony  Judy 

Last Chris Christm tmas as – in New Yor ork. k. Have you forgotten?

Of course cour se not! You bought bought me that beautifu bea utifull …

Anthony  Judy 

Me too.

How long has it been?

Anthony  Judy 

Please. Plea se. They let me in to check the the piano. pia no.

It’ It’ss been for ever. I’ve miss issed ed you you..

Anthony  Judy 

No, it’s you yours. rs. I was in th thee bathroom bathroom..

Yes.

Good for you! Have you met my fiancé fiancé??

 

Anthony 

We’ve e’ ve spo spoken ken on the phone, that’s all. al l.

Judy  Well ell,, now here he is in th thee flesh. (Turning to  to Mickey.) The best thing that ever happened to me.

She pours herself into  into Mickey’s arms for a fumbled loving embrace. She then turns back to  to Anthony. Judy 

Isn’t he wonderfu wonder ful? l? An And d gorgeou gorgeous? s?

Anthony (changing  (changing subject referring to the cases) cases) e? Judy 

Trave ravell lling ing ligh li ght, t, are

The rest res t are in th thee lobby lob by.. Of course, half half of them them are just stuf stuffed fed wi with th

old towels, but you have to keep up appearances. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Judy Judy,, I need to go dow down n and –  What? Gi Give ve them so som me money. No, Mickey Mickey,, you stay here here.. I told y you ou about th this. is. You You have to pay each week we ek in adva advance. nce. We’ll e’ ll see se e abo about ut that. Judy – let’s not start a pro proble blem m th thee first day we – 

Judy  Mickey – angel – this is the the kind of thing you have to to leave le ave to me. We’ll pay them when it’s convenient for us. Now what’s the manager’s name? Mickey 

Mr Crosb Crosby y.

 

Judy 

Fine. Leave Crosb Crosby y to me.’

Mickey  Judy 

I just want wa nt everything eve rything to go smoothly smoothly.. Oh, it wi will ll.. With you in charge! My God! This is going to be tthe he

 biggest  bigg est success success of m my y career. And And T Top op of th the Town. Town. Anthony 

Tal alk k of the Tow own. n.

Judy  Cor Corre rect! ct! We’re e’ re going br bring ing it back bac k from the dea dead. d. Just gimm gimme si six x eeks. Mickey’s a miracle worker, Anthony. He has got me everything I anted. We have Delfont wrapped around our fingers. So – Mickey’s in charge of everything   from from now on. He’s going to be my full-time manager. Mickey 

I gave it all up – to be with Judy. Judy. But But I’ll contin continue ue with wi th my

 business  busin ess interests – k keep eep the the empire empire going going.. Anthony 

Yes. es . You run a cl club ub or som so mething, don’t you?

Mickey (insulted   (insulted )

‘Or something’? something’? What What doe doess that mean?

Judy ( jumping  jumping in) in ) It doesn’t doe sn’t mean anyth anything, ing, dar darli ling ng.. It’s just the wa way y he talks. – So! Here we all are! – In London. In the best hotel. In the smallest God damn suite they have … ! … But at least they squeezed a piano in.

She goes over to the piano and looks around it. … Is it in tune? Anthony  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Surprisingly Surpri singly – yes. Fir First st tim timee ever, I think. think. That’ That’ss because beca use I arr arrang anged ed a tu tuner ner to come in this this m morning. orning.

You di did? d? – I told y you ou – he’s going to be th thee best bes t manager in the wo worl rld. d. I alr already eady am th thee best. They just don’t kn know ow it yet.

 

Judy 

You hear that? He takes righ ri ghtt after me.

Anthony 

How un unfortunate fortunate …

 brief uncom uncomfortable fortable pause. Judy  right?

Ha! (To Mickey.) See – English humour. I warned you about that,

Mickey 

Yeah.

Judy  They th think ink irony ir ony is elegant, elegant, sar sarcasti casticc sons of bitches. You have to  behave yourself, yourself, A An nth thony ony.. You’re You’re on board a tigh tightly tly run ship. IIt’ t’ss all been done. I’ve never known things worked out so far in advance. (T ( To Mickey.) You’re a wonder. You even got Anthony back. Mickey 

Wel ell, l, that wasn’t wa sn’t me – that was wa s Del Delfont. font.

Judy  Even so! (To Anthony.) We’ve only been dating a couple of months. And look. (She ( She shows her engagement ring.) ring.) Engaged after just one week. Isn’t that amazing? Anthony (dryly  (dryly)) Judy 

Husband num number four.

Anthony  Judy 

It’s It’s astonishing.

… Five.

What?

Anthony 

It’s It’s five.

Judy  Is it? My God – who am I mis issi sing ng out? (She thinks, then counts on her fingers.) fingers.) Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy … Anthony 

laughs.

 

Judy  …?

Ha! I lo love ve it when you laug la ugh. h. I can sti still ll make make you laug la ugh h – that’s good

Anthony  Judy 

It’s It’s a miracl ir acle. e.

Well ell,, yes. Because Melbourne … we had some prob problems, lems, righ ri ght? t?

Anthony 

It was a bloodbath.

Judy  Yes. Bu Butt here you are – and I’m th thri rill lled. ed. Y You’re ou’re the the best there there is. Didn’t I say that Mickey? Mickey  Judy 

Several times. times. Oh Oh,, I’m just th thee luckiest woman alive. ali ve. My My favourite pia pianist. nist. An And d – the the

love of my life. She slobbers a kiss on  on Mickey’s lips, which seems as much for  Anthony’s benefit as anything else. Mickey  Judy 

We should get these case ca sess out of the wa way y. You just re rela lax. x. Thank you, dar darli ling ng..

Anthony  Judy 

Can I help?

Oh Oh,, please – you you’re ’re so sweet. swee t.

She then goes over to the piano and plays a few keys as as  Anthony and  Mickey pick  pick up various var ious bags an and d cases and take t ake them off into the t he bedroom, bathroom, etc.  etc. Mickey instinctively grabs the heavy trunk first fi rst and wheels it  into a corner.  corner. Anthony’s first choice is a tiny t iny toiletry case which he delicately carries into the bathroom. bathroom.  Judy accom accompanies panies herself on piano to  sing part of a song tto o Mickey. Judy ( singing   singi ng )

‘Just ‘J ust in time, I foun found d you just in time …’

 

She looks over at  Mickey , who smiles back and blows bl ows her a kiss. kiss . They continue with the cases. … Look at you two two go! Y You’re ou’re workin wor king g like llittle ittle –  Anthony  Judy 

Munchkins?

I was going to say Mexica Mexicans. ns. They’r They’ree tall taller. er.

She plays the musical notes of ‘Follow the Yellow Brick Road’ on the piano and then grabs her own throat and chokes like she is being strangled. The cases are soon cleared and  Mickey and  Anthony both take a seat. Judy … Do you h have ave any candy? candy? I want w ant som somethin ething g swe sweet. et. Not a cigarette. cigare tte. They’re very bad for you. Deanna Durbin used to smoke all the time, even in

school at the studio. She w was as li like ke a cchim himney ney.. A chim chimney ney with one eyebrow that that grew all the way across. Anthony 

laughs, loving the t he Hollywood anecdotes.

Judy  … Diana Dia na al alwa ways ys sat sa t next to Eli Elizabeth zabeth Taylo aylor. r. Oh! Liz Taylo aylorr wa wass charming  …  … So charming you just wanted to run her down with a car! Mickey Rooney smoked smoked too – it stu s tunt ntss your growth grow th!! … I liked l iked sschool, chool, but I never  never  learned lea rned aany nyth thing. ing. Y You ou shou should ld learn lea rn th things. ings. I lost los t so much time time in vaudevill vaudevi lle. e. And An d we were wer e a terrible terri ble act. a ct. We We alw always ays followed this com comedian edian – – Happy  Happy

Harry. He was the saddest man I ever met. Funny people just aren’t funny. Don’t you find that? It’s not a way to live. We all turned out very peculiar. Did I get a cigarette? I asked for a cigarette. Mickey  Judy 

 gives her he r a cigarette cigarette.. Thank you … (To Anthony.) Where are you living these days?

Anthony  Judy 

Just down dow n th thee corri cor ridor. dor.

I mean – where are you li living ving when we we’re ’re n not ot paying for it?

 

Anthony  Judy 

Oh. Is it nice there? Do they have fog?

Anthony  Judy 

On the south coa coast st – Brigh Bri ghton. ton.

Not ver very y often often..

Are you sure?

She sits at the piano. I love the fog. Anthony 

I’m sure sure..

Judy ( playing  playi ng a couple of notes and then t hen singi singing  ng )

‘A fogg foggy y day in …

(awkwardly awkwardly)) Brighton  Brighton town!’  town!’ … No, you’re right – no fog. She idly hits a few random piano keys. … You know what I think? (They ( They don’t answer.) answer.) I think we should celebrate –  and have a drink! Mickey 

and  Anthony suddenly  suddenly turn t urn to look l ook sternly ster nly at her he r.

… What?! Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Judy –  Wh What!? at!? Just a dr drop op of champagne champagne or so som mething. To mark ar k the occ occas asio ion. n. No!

Judy  Oh for Chris Christ’s t’s sake. sa ke. I’m not talking talki ng about abo ut passi pas sing ng out on the floo floor  r  here. Just a half bottle of Dom Perignon – to make a toast. Mickey 

Not a drop.

 

Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Oh, Mic Mickey key.. We’ve e’ ve talked abo about ut this. Yes es,, I know, but –  You’ve got six si x weeks we eks of concerts conce rts.. That’s not easy eas y. Now you li listen sten to me – 

Mickey (tough  (tough)) No. You li listen sten to me! me! No  No booze, no pills, nothing. While e’ree here – I mak e’r makee the rules. rules . So forget th thee cham c hampagne. pagne. Judy  Mickey  done?

Sid  would  would have let me. No he wouldn’t! wo uldn’t! (Testy. Testy.)) And who cares what ‘Sid’ would have

Judy  Sorr Sorry y, dar darli ling ng,, sorry sor ry.. (To Anthony.) … He doesn’t like it when I dig up the ex-husbands. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

 shoots a look l ook at  Judy. … They don’t get al along. ong. Judy! I’m sor sorry ry,, I’m sor sorry ry.. Jesus. Jes us. Wel ell, l, it’s al alwa ways ys Sid and Vincent ince nt and what they –  Don’t get testy – you’re so testy. (To Anthony.) He gets sp spiky iky.. I think anyone would wo uld get spi spiky ky if they had to keep hearing hear ing about abo ut –  I li ligh ghtt candles candles.. That’s That’s how I  how I  relax.  relax. I take a bath with lots of bubbles.

 

Have you tried that darling? Mickey  Judy 

I’m fine fine,, thank you. Take a bath. Light Light some fuck fucking ing candles candl es..

Mickey  Judy 

Is th that at what Sid used to do? No. Thoug Though h Vince incent nt lo loved ved to bathe.

Mickey  Judy 

You see se e – the ex-husbands again. agai n. Well you brought Well you  brought them up!

Mickey 

is about to carry on, but stops himself. Instead, he just laughs. l aughs.

Judy joins  joins in the llaughter aughter.. Judy (after  (after a moment ) Mickey 

… So can I?

No!

Judy  … Okay. Okay. You’re ou’r e in char charge. ge. ( A  A look to  to  Anthony.) … I’ll tell you wh what at  – I’ll get a couple of those those h hotel otel g glasse lassess th that at you you use tto o clean y your our teeth teeth.. Fill them with water from the tap. Who needs Dom Perignon.

She flounces towards the bathroom. Shut your eyes and we’ll hardly notice the difference. She exits. Anthony  Mickey  Anthony 

She hasn’t changed. So they tell tel l me. … What’s What’s the pl plan an for toda today? y?

 

Mickey  I think we’l we ’lll just go out and eat. Talk al k ever ev eryth ything ing through – like, li ke, hen you’re you’re gon gonna na rehear rehearse se – aand nd all th that at stuff. stuff. Anthony  Mickey 

Fine. … I pl play ay too, you know. know.

Anthony  Mickey 

Play what? Piano. Jazz pia piano. no. I’m pre pretty tty good.

Anthony  Mickey 

Really? Real ly? Well ell,, th that’s at’s a surpri surprise. se. Yea eah, h, that’s me. I’m just full of surpri surp rise ses. s.

Anthony ( gesturing  gestur ing to the t he piano) piano ) Mickey 

Plea Please se – play pla y something something …

I don’t have to audition for you you..

Anthony  Mickey 

Oh, Oh, I wa wasn’t sn’t –  Yes – yes, you were. we re.

Judy 

emerges with three glasses of water from the bathroom.

Judy 

Here we are! Now – let’s do th this. is.

The others reluctantly reluctantly take a glass as she makes a toast. To the show! Mickey/Anthony   Judy 

Judy’s bac back! k!

Anthony 

Again!

The show!

 

Judy  … Yes, again. But th this is tim timee you better believe belie ve it … Oh – and to Mickey Deans. Deans. My husband husband to be. Who Who I love l ove so much, uch, I could co uld jjust ust explode. Cheers, Ch eers, darli darling ng!!

They toast their glasses and drink.  drink. Mickey pulls  pulls a face immediat immediately. ely.  Judy  swillss it al  swill alll around her mouth, gargles, and then swall swallows. ows. Judy  … It’s It’s not so bad. It’s It’s th those ose Victorian ictor ian pipes. pip es. ( A strain strai n in her voi voice. ce.)) Gives it a special twang.

The phone rings. Anthony 

I’ll pour th these ese dow down n th thee sink.

e collects the glasses, but  Judy hangs on to hers. He heads back into the bathroom as  as Mickey answers the phone. Mickey  Hell Hello? o? … Yeah, we’re we ’re just heading out to eat, but you can lea leave ve the the o oth ther er cases case s in i n the the room r oom … Yes, Yes, Mr Crosby Cros by,, I’ll I’l l bri bring ng the the money money on the the way w ay down. (Judy gets  gets his hi s att attention ention..) … Er – could you hang on? Miss Garland ould like a word with you. Judy  takes up the phone as  as Anthony returns. She puts on her best ‘Judy Garland’ voice. Judy  … Mr Crosb Crosby? y? Oh, Oh, I’m so please pleased d to spea speak k to you in per person. son. Now my my darling fiancé is about to rush down to let you have some money, but would you mind if we dealt with this tomorrow? We’ve just arrived after a very tiring ourney – and I do want to be at my best when you come to the opening night next week. You are coming I hope? … Oh, that’s marvellous … Oh! That’s very kind of you. I see we’re going to become very good friends … yes … ( A ( A orced chuckle.) chuckle.) Oh yes … Goodbye.

She drops the performance immediately and puts the phone down. ight – let’s go eat.

 

Mickey 

Ain’t she something something else. els e.

Anthony 

Oh, yes. Someth Something ing el else se entir entirel ely y.

Judy 

 strides  stri des over to t o the door door..

Judy 

(to to  Anthony) … Aren’t you coming?

Anthony  Judy 

I didn’t did n’t kn know ow if I was invited.

Of course cour se you’re invited! invi ted! … It’s you that’s payi paying ng..

She exits. Mickey 

She’s not serious. ser ious.

Anthony 

Oh, Oh, I th think ink she probabl pro bably y is.

 s they both bot h walk to the eexit, xit, ffade ade to blackout. blac kout. Music. Mus ic.

Scene Two  Lights r ise and  rise on tthe he hotel suite. suitperilously e. The distant sound of ttraff raffic. ic. The window wide open  Judy  is sat peri lously on the window ledge looking and  is leaning outwards.  outwards. Anthony enters, not seeing her at first. Anthony  Judy 

Hello … Hello?

Hello!

e is panicked and shocked when he suddenly sees her on the ledge. ut she remains calm – treating the entire episode as a bit of fun.

 

Anthony  Judy 

Hi.

Anthony  Judy 

Get down. dow n. ( Reaching to her he r.) Take my hand.

No – 

Anthony  Judy 

Judy!

I’m fine.

Anthony  Judy 

Get down. dow n.

Why?

Anthony  Judy 

Good God!

Please! Plea se! Judy Judy!!

Anth Anthony ony – stop it! Pull yours yoursel elff together! I am not going to jum jump! p!

The telephone rings. Right – tell him him that  that I’m jumping. Anthony 

What!?

Judy  Answe Answerr the phone – if it’s Cro Crosby, sby, the manager, tell tel l him I’m jumping –  Anthony!

e moves to the phone and answers it. Anthony (into  (into phone) phone) Judy 

… Yes? … Who Who is this this??

Is it Crosb Crosby? y?

Anthony (to  (to  Judy)

Yes, es , it’s Cro Crosby. sby.

 

Judy 

Tel elll the son of a bi bitch tch I’m jum jumpi ping ng!!

Anthony (into  (into phone) phone) Judy 

She says sa ys she’s jum jumpi ping ng..

And –?

Anthony 

And And you you’re ’re a son of a bitch.

She screams. Then she silently mouths to him to hang up the phone. He does  so. Judy 

Now he’s cra crappi pping ng his pants. Bring the the phon phonee over.

e carries the phone over to the window. Anthony  Judy 

That low low-l -life ife scum scumbag bag of a manager is tthreatening hreatening to throw throw m mee out.

Anthony  Judy 

Why?

Because he’ he’ss an asshole! … And And we h haven’t aven’t paid the the bill all week.

Anthony  Judy 

What’s What’s going on here here?! ?!

But sure surely ly you can ca n – 

Rel Relax. ax. I’m handli handling ng it. If there’s on onee thing I kn know, ow, it’s dipl di plomacy omacy..

The phone rings again. She answers it immediately. ( Into the t he phone. phone.)) You fucking cock sucker! Look at this mess you’ve got yourself into … How dare you threaten me! You wait for your God damn money like everybody else; what makes you so special? … No, it doesn’t look  good for my image, but right now I don’t give one God damn what they write about me – and how’s it gonna look for you and your pretty hotel when you got ‘Dorothy’ splattered all over your red carpet?! … And don’t think I won’t,  because I’m so piss pissed ed with tthis his place th that at I migh ightt ju just st do any anything thing … Yes, Yes, I

 

hope we can! She slams down the telephone. (To Anthony.) Anthony  Judy 

Are you getting down dow n now?

In a minute. I kinda li like ke it.

Anthony  Judy 

We’re e’ re going to come to ‘an ‘a n arra ar rang ngement ement’. ’.

Please …

Com Comee here.

e moves very close to her. Judy  Look at th them em all all.. Like li little ttle ants, craning cra ning their their neck necks, s, all excited. You You think they want me to jump? Is that what they’re waiting for? Give them something to talk about when they get home. Anthony 

I think they al alre ready ady have that.

e offers his hand to her her.. And And she begins to climb off the t he ledge. ut first she gives the crowd a wave wave and we hear distant whistles, cheers and applause. She then moves away from the window. She reveals that she has a glass of vodka and grapefruit to hand. She takes a sip. Judy 

Wh What at are ar e you doing doi ng here anyway?

Anthony  Judy 

We had a rehearsal rehear sal..

We did? di d?

Anthony 

Yes.

 

Judy 

Wel elll nobod nobody y told me. You still sti ll wa want nt to do it?

Anthony  Judy 

I think, think, in the circ ci rcum umstance stancess – 

Oh hell tto o the circ ci rcum umstance stances! s! We sti still ll got got the room, ro om, don’t we we?? And

I’m not spread across th thee sidewal sid ewalk, k, so – li life fe goes goes on. Anthony  Judy 

Pavement.

Huh?

Anthony 

We cal calll it a pavem pave ment here, not a sidew si dewalk. alk.

Anthony 

We do do..

Judy 

Good – glad we got got th that at cleare cle ared d up. Now pla play y the the fucking fucking piano. pia no.

Anthony  Do you th think ink we could could curb th thee swear sw earing ing a little li ttle this this af afternoon? ternoon? I’m a bit on edge – I don’t like that kind of thing. Judy 

Crap. I’m going to tell th thee papers pape rs you ‘saved ‘sa ved my life’. li fe’.

e smiles. Judy  You li like ke th that? at? That would be wi wild, ld, wouldn’t it. You’d becom beco me an icon. The ‘queens’ would worship you. Anthony 

They alr already eady do …

e makes his way to the piano. Judy  You’l ou’lll never touch me. To them them,, I’m a godde goddess ss.. I could coul d vomit my dinner in their laps and I’d still be glamorous. Anthony 

What What a charm char ming pi picture cture – thank you.

 

e is by now sat at the piano. He plays a lengthy arpeggio introduction and  waits for her to sing – which she doesn’t. Anthony  Judy 

Whenever Whenever you’re you’re rea ready dy …?

Let me wa warm rm up fir first. st.

She lights up a cigarette and takes a puff. Then signals she’s ready. Anthony  Judy 

Let’s just mark it th through rough.. See if it’s stil stilll there there..

It may be – I might not.

Anthony 

repeats rep eats a bri brief ef arpeggio. arpeggio.  Judy begins to sing. ‘I CAN’T GIVE YOUSONG ANYTHING BUT LOVE’ 

She has sung only the first half dozen lines of the song when su suddenly ddenly the door opens and  Mickey enters, interrupting. Mickey  Judy 

Can someone please ple ase expla explain in to me what the the hell is g going oing on?! Nothi Nothing ng much. much.

Mickey  Judy 

Nothing m— … You threatened threate ned to jum jump p out the wi window ndow!! Negotiations, th that’s at’s all. all .

Anthony  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

There There was a problem wi with th th thee bill. bill .

Shut up. I thoug thought ht we’d we ’d pai paid d th thee bill. bil l. So did I.

 

Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Judy – there’s twenty twe nty pr pres esss in the lobby. lo bby. And the BBC. Good! Som Somee public publicity ity at last. las t. Wh What at do I tel telll them? them? That I was driv driven en to des despai pairr by th thee size of this this ffuck ucking ing hotel hotel room room.. It’ It’ss th thee same si size ze as all th thee others.

Judy  Oh, don’t start on that one again. agai n. You think I don’t k know now tthe he difference? Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

It doe doesn’t sn’t matter. I don’t wa want nt to argu ar guee about abo ut that now. You think think I   I  want  want to argue? I don’t want to argue. You alw always ays want wa nt to argue – it’s like li ke you can’t survi survive ve wi with thout out –  That is not true, that is not –  It’s li like ke fucking Ritalin Rital in for you. You’r ou’ree the one that argu ar gues. es. Me? Oh yes – always alw ays rattling rattli ng along alo ng over some some stupid thing thing or oth other. er. I don’t bel believ ievee th this is – 

The following speeches take place simultaneously as they try to t o talk over  each other. Near the beginning of these speeches, speeches, Anthony starts  start s to accompany the argument on piano, playing Mozart’s Sonata in C. Judy 

One fucking tir tirade ade or another. I just want wa nt an easy eas y life, li fe, but you – oh

 

God, you have to argue about everything … You lay awake at night conjuring up new ideas i deas for som so me verba v erball torture you can th throw row at me wi with th that that h hug ugee mouth mouth that you carry around like fucking luggage … I don’t want to argue all the time, I just want a bit of peace and understanding. But I never get it and I’ve had it, you hear? Mickey  I never argued with wi th anybody anybody until until you you came alo along ng – you’r you’ree like li ke some kind of fucking demon … You don’t listen, you just shout and shout for  hours without saying anything at all and it’s exhausting. Christ – it wears me out … Can’t you just switch off and actually listen to someone? It’s a nightmare  – you go on and on and on … How am I su supposed pposed to live w with ith that? that? I just never  get a fucking break. Judy 

Stop it! Stop it!

Anthony  Judy 

 stops playing pl aying piano pia no and  Mickey stops  stops arguing.

I don’t wa want nt to do this anymor anymore! e! We’re e’ re trying to re rehear hearse se!!

Mickey  Fine! I’ll h handle andle it – I’ll say it wa wass food poisoning poi soning,, made y you ou ligh li ghttheaded or someth something ing – just don’t you speak spea k to anybody anybody – alrigh alr ight? t? And don’t leave here for the rest of the day. Judy  Mickey  Judy 

I’m star starvi ving ng!! Room service. servi ce. Not on you yourr li life. fe.

Mickey (r  (reluctantly giving iin n) Judy  Mickey  Judy 

… What What do you want? wa nt?

… Roast beef. Roast – ? I don’t kn know ow where to get that. that. Just dri drive ve aro aroun und d until until you smell smell gravy …

 

Mickey 

 sucks it i t up and heads for f or the exi exit. t.

Judy  … Isn’t he handsome when he’s angry. angry. (Shouting after  Mickey.) … With horseradi horser adish! sh! Mickey 

exits, slamming the door behind him.

Anthony  Judy 

Shall we get on?

With what?

e hands a song from his folder to her. Anthony 

Let’s try the new ope opener. ner.

She puts her cigarette out. He starts to play the t he tacky song introduction. Judy 

… You’r ou’ree kidding kidd ing me ri righ ght? t?

Anthony 

I’m only playing pla ying what’s wr written itten SONG ‘I BELONG TO LONDON’ 

Judy ( singing   singi ng )

I bel belong ong to London …

(Spoken. Spoken.)) … I’ll lleave eave th this is lyric out, they’ll they’ll be applauding … She crosses crosses the line li ne out with a pencil and then conti continues nues to sing from the third line of the song. When reaching the word ‘home’ in the lyric, she avoids  singing  singi ng this top note, note , but instead inst ead points point s a finger fing er upwards. Anthony 

Coward!

She then sings the final line li ne of the song. The piano p plays lays out.

 

She starts to cough a little. He fetches her a glass of water water.. Judy 

… What What a shitty song …!

e hands her the water. Anthony  Judy 

Here.

Thank you.

Anthony 

Always a pleas pleasu ure, never a chore.

Judy  Oh Oh,, you you’re ’re all so polite here, I love it. (She drinks and then stares blankly at the glass.) glass.) Whenever I drink water I always feel I’m missing out on something … There has to be a tablet somewhere I could take. Anthony  Judy 

There’s There ’s nothing nothing here. here .

Don’t I kn know ow it.

Anthony 

It’s grea greatt that you’re managing wi withou thout. t.

Judy  It’ It’ss not easy eas y. Espec Especial ially ly when I know know tthere’s here’s a doctor a block blo ck away awa y ready rea dy to provide pro vide me with w ith any anyth thing ing I want. Anthony 

Without ithout a prescr pre scriptio iption? n?

Judy  Som Sometimes etimes even wi with thout out an autograp autograph h … I’ve been doing doi ng this this for for over  thirty years, there isn’t a trick I can’t pull. Back in LA I had pills sewn into the hems of dresses, taped to the back of furniture. It wasn’t the police who raided me, it was the family. And they’re worse. When your sister-in-law finds a  bottle  bott le of Benzedrine Benzedrine hidden hidden in your your pant panties, ies, you don’t even h have ave rights rights to to an attorney. Anthony 

Maybe Maybe she was just trying to help you. you.

 

Judy  I didn’t need help – I needed pil pills ls.. No one ever got got a grip of that. that. Least of all Minnelli. And Sid didn’t know the half of it. Anthony  Judy 

Do you mis isss – any of them? them?

No. Bu Butt I miss … being bei ng loved. love d.

Anthony 

I di didn’t dn’t think there was was anyone  anyone more loved than you.

Judy  That’s not the sam sa me, A Anth nthony ony – and you know know it. But that’s all al l changed. I have Mickey now. Anthony  ecords. Judy 

Yes, es , and at such sp speed eed.. We should phone the Guinness Book of 

Oh li listen sten to you you,, you cynic. cynic. Don’t Don’t you believ bel ievee in lov lovee at first firs t sight sight??

Anthony 

Wel elll … I do – (Anthony sings.)  sings. ) … ‘but not for me’.

e plays a run of notes and she carries on with the t he first song, ‘I Can’ Can’tt Give You Anything but Love’. She sings another four lines of the song before she interrupts herself –  Judy 

So who are ar e you br bringing inging to the ope opening ning nigh night? t?

Anthony  Judy 

Wh What at about abo ut your par parents? ents?

Anthony  Judy 

They li live ve in In Inver verness. ness.

So take a cab.

Anthony  Judy 

I don’t kn know. ow.

It’s It’s in Scotland.

You should ttake ake me to Sco Scotland. tland. Y You ou ca can n pres pr esent ent me as your your new

 

girlfriend. Anthony  Judy 

Oh, I co couldn’t uldn’t do that. They’ve suffered suffere d enough …

Wel ell, l, thank you!

Anthony  What What I mean is is,, they’re confused enough alre al ready. ady. I don’t wa want nt to give them false hope. Judy 

Well th then, en, we we’l ’lll just say we met met at Alcoholics Alcoholi cs Anonym Anonymous. ous.

Anthony  Judy 

That wo would uld be much better.

Wh Why y Scotl Scotland and anyway? What What the hell are ar e they doing doi ng there?

Anthony  Furthest Furthest th they ey could get from me on this this isla island nd wi with thout out drowning drow ning … Key change.

e plays a chord – and waits. waits. She sings the t he final lines l ines of the ssong, ong, but he cuts in after the t he final ‘but’. He calls out, cuing the band –  Anthony 

Five, Five , six, seven, seve n, eight! eight!

is call cues a transiti transition on into a concert sequence. The band immediately immediately  strikes  stri kes up, playing playi ng an energetic repeat of tthe he previous bars of the song and  they are revealed revealed on stage for the first ttime ime – ideally in a coup de théâtre wheree the reveal is a surprise for wher f or the audience, the band pr previously eviously having  been completely completely hidden behind a fflat lat or gauze. Ther Theree is a llighting ighting change at  the same time as the music starts.  starts. Judy exits for a quick costume change, at  the very least putting on a jacket if i f a full change is not possible, and she takes up a microphone. The setting transforms simply to the stage of the Talk  of the Town. On cue with the music, she re-enters and repeats the final lines of the song in concert mode. The band concludes the song with her and she bows to the audience.  pplause. Then segue se gue int into o the next song – 

 

SONG ‘JUST IN TIME’   fter the first fi rst section se ction o off the so song, ng, she breaks to tal talkk to the aud audience, ience, tthe he band continuing softly underneath. Judy  Ladie Ladiess and gentlemen, I w  would ould llike ike to take a moment oment to introduce you to someone very special. A man who I simply adore. Who fills my heart with a greater love than I have ever known. He’s my fiancé, my manager and my  protector – Mickey Mickey Deans. Deans. Com Comee on ou outt here, here, my my darling darli ng.. (T (To the audience, audience , encouraging them to applaud.) applaud.) Mickey Mic key Dean Deanss eever veryon yone! e! Mickey Deans! Mickey   joins her on stag stagee – at fi first, rst, somewhat s omewhat taken aback and  embarassed.

They kiss. Polite applause is i s heard. Judy 

This is dedicated dedi cated to you you,, my angel. angel.

She continues the song, now at full throttle, playing the next part of it to Mickey – and he begins to relish the attention. But shortly, her attention turns back completely to the audience and he exits, exit s, a little li ttle awkw awkwar ardly dly.. She concludes the song and the music plays out. Blackout.

Scene Three We return tto o the hotel room room.. Some days later l ater.. Mickey is on the couch, reading the newspapers.  newspapers. Judy is in i n the bathroom. bathroom. Judy ( from  from withi within n the bat bathroom hroom)) Oh, my God – they they’v ’vee made me look lo ok like li ke the Bride of Frankenstein. I have never worn a head scarf like that in my entire life. They’ve pasted it on. And they’ve aged me. There has to be some law. Mickey, there has to be a law – 

 

Mickey 

I’m trying to read re ad this.

Judy  Look at th thee pictu pic ture re fir first. st. If I loo look k li like ke I’ve been dead twe twent nty y years, don’t read re ad the text. It’l It’lll be fiction, fi ction, llike ike the photograph. photograph. You You li listening stening to me? me? Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Do I have a choice? Wh What at does it say? They li like ke you. Wh What at pictu pic ture? re? On the stage – with wi th your hand sti sticking cking out.

Judy (horrified   (horrified ) Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Oh – sounds wonderfu wonder ful! l! … How old do I loo look? k?

Erm … I’d say … What? … A hu hundre ndred d and … Oh, shut up.

The bathroom bathroom door flies open and she bursts into the room room.. She flings fli ngs a couple of newspapers across the room as she enters. I don’t want to read any more. It’s all the same garbage. Mickey 

At leas le astt they’re talking tal king abo about ut you.

Judy  They They’re ’re not talking Mickey, Mickey, th they’re ey’re revi review ewing. ing. They we weren’t ren’t supposed to be doing that till next week. Mickey 

Wh What’s at’s the di difference fference??

 

Judy 

It wa wass a ‘pr ‘previ eview ew’. ’. We wer weree stil stilll trying things things out.

You don’t invite press pres s to a previ p review, ew, you invite them tto o the ‘p ‘pres resss night night’’ – th that’s at’s how it got the name! What shoes am I wearing? Mickey 

Wh Whic ichever. hever. It doesn’t doe sn’t matter.

Judy  It does does matter.  matter. The blue ones are too tight, the black ones are too dull and I’m not wearing Chanel on the radio. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  shoes. Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

So pic pick k another another pair. pai r. I don’t have time for that. I’m not your your dre dresse sser. r. Fine – I’l I’lll go in my bar baree feet. You shit bag. Hey – shut up, pull yours yoursel elff together, and pick pi ck out so som me fucking

I don’t wa wann nnaa pic pick k out th thee shoes! Stop yelling yelli ng – it’s not important what shoes you wear. wea r. Not to you – you always alw ays look loo k li like ke crap. cra p. … Wear th thee brown brow n ones. Wh What at brown brow n ones? The brown brow n ones. I have brown brown ones?  ones? I bought you som so me br brow own n ones.

 

Judy  Oh those … I gave those to the mai aid. d. (Mickey gives  gives her he r a look.) look. ) … Even she hated them. Mickey  Judy 

Judy – I don’t car care. e. Life is ttoo oo short to get into this this.. Keep talki talking ng to me li like ke that and li life’s fe’s gonn gonnaa get eve even n shorter. shor ter.

She grabs a pair of red shoes. … I’ll wear the red ones. She sits down and proceeds to put on the red shoes. Mickey  Great ide idea. a. Click Clic k th thee heels toget together her and you’l you’lll get there there even quicker …!

e laughs out loud, thoro thoroughly ughly amused by his own joke. She just glar glares es at  him, as though ready ready to kill ki ll him. Judy 

… Fuck-head! Fuck-head!

e goes back to reading the paper. … What time is it? ( No answer. answer.) Mickey! What time –  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Eleven. … So when have we got to be th there ere?? They They’re ’re sending a car for twel twelve. ve. This rad radio io guy guy, what’s he li like? ke? I don’t kn know ow – regu re gula larr guy guy, what do you mea ean? n? Is he famous famous here here??

 

Mickey  Judy 

I think he’s well we ll know known. n.

 I mean – mean – what’s he gonna do, piss on me, or kiss my ass?

Mickey 

They don’t seem to go for either on the the radio rad io in Eng England. land. Th They ey just

seem to sail down the middle. Not offend anyone. It’s all just pleasant and cosy. Judy 

Soun Sounds ds hideous.

Mickey  Hey – I set th this is up, up, remem remember. ber. Me. I made a specia spe ciall ef effort, fort, so II’d ’d appreciate appreci ate it if you’d you’d –  Judy  Oh Oh,, stop it, stop it. You make one phone phone call an and d expect a round of  applause. Mickey 

I don’t wa want nt applause, appl ause, I just – Just appreci appr eciate ate that that it’s not that that easy.

Judy  To get on the radi ra dio? o? Have Have y you ou li listened stened to the peo peopl plee they put on the air here? … And tell th them em I won’t sing. They always alwa ys ask me to si sing ng som somethin ething. g. A royal command performance for some grey old radio hack. I won’t do it. It  pissess m  pisse mee off off!! Mickey  Judy 

Christ, what is your your pro proble blem m? Don’t question questi on me.

Mickey  If you want wa nt me to to be y your our manager, then I need to know know what’s going on in your head. I’ve got a reputation to think of too. I don’t want you sitting there, live on the BBC, suddenly flying off the handle. Judy  Mickey  Judy 

An And d when have I ever done th that? at? … On the the radio? rad io? W When hen?? There’s alw always ays a first time. time. I’m a profes professio sional. nal. Down to th thee sol soles es of my shitty brow brown n shoes.

 

Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  me.

There you go agai again. n. I’m just nervous, nerv ous, damn it. Wel ell, l, you have to get ove overr that. I have to get over a lot of th things. ings. You can either help help m mee or sneer at

e sneers. He perhaps even dismissively peels himself a banana and takes a bite. In response, she goes over to the piano and takes out a very wellhidden bottle of pills. She gi gives ves them a shake loud enough for him to hear hear.. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Wh What at are th those? ose? Grow Grown-up n-up candy ca ndy.. Judy –! They They’re ’re just tablets, Mickey. Mickey. I can take a couple of tablets. table ts.

e stands and approaches her. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Not whi while le I’m in char charge. ge. Giv Givee them to me. No. Don’t make me take them by forc force. e. You wo wouldn’t uldn’t dare! dar e!

Mickey (tough,  (tough, scary) scary)

Would ouldn’t n’t I?!

She looks in his eyes and rea realises lises that he would. She han hands ds him the bottle of  ills. He reads the label.

 

… Who is Doctor Yang? Judy 

… A Chinaman.

Mickey 

I coul could d have gu gues esse sed d that. Is he in Lon London? don?

Judy  He br brough oughtt his lo lovel vely y Mrs Yang to the show las lastt night and I as asked ked him for a small favour favour,, and he dropp d ropped ed th them em off later. I kn know ow what I’m doing doing,, they’re mild. Mickey  Judy 

No, they’re not. And what wo would uld you know know?? You get high on as aspi piri rin. n.

Mickey  Judy 

I kn know ow pl plenty enty … I’m keepi keeping ng these. The hell you are. are .

They begin a physical struggle as she tries to get the pills pill s back. The tussle becomes becom es an evocative mix of physical battle and sexual foreplay. foreplay. H Half alf a fight  over the pills, pil ls, half an erotic manh manhandling andling of each other other.. She fails to get hold  of the pills, pil ls, even though she got hold of al almost most everything else. The door  opens.  Anthony enters, carrying a pile of dirty bed sheets, which he dumps opens. ust inside the door. He watches the erotic struggle for a moment. Anthony 

… Is th this is a bad tim time? e?

Judy 

removes herself from the fight.

Judy 

Anth Anthony ony,, get my pi pill llss bac back k for me. Mickey has stolen stol en them. them.

Anthony  Mickey  Anthony 

Pills? She wa wass about to take Ritalin. Ritali n. I don’t un under derstand, stand, you were wer e doing so well we ll..

 

Judy  They They’re ’re nothin nothing. g. They’r They’ree mil ild. d. Wh What at is the the matter wi with th you people? peop le? (Spotting the pile of bed sheets.) sheets. ) And what the hell are those bed sheets doing  back here? here? Anthony  Judy 

Put them back bac k out, They’ve not been bee n clea cl eaned. ned.

Anthony  Mickey 

They wo won’t n’t take th them em.. I’ve already alr eady asked. Why?

Anthony  anymore. Mickey  Judy 

They we were re outside th thee door.

Because of th thee unpai unpaid d bil bills. ls. They They’re ’re not doing doi ng our laundry

Chris Christ. t. Judy, Judy, you have to pay them. them. The hell I do.

Mickey 

Let me at leas le astt give th them em so som mething, just to get them off our back. bac k.

Judy  I don’t have anyth anything. ing. How much are ar e we getting getting for the ra radi dio o interview? Mickey  Judy 

That’ That’ss minimal, inimal, a small fee. Wil illl it cover cove r my bed sheets?

Mickey  Judy   Nazis.  Naz is.

Of course it wil will, l, but –  So send se nd them to the Ying Yang Lau Laundry! ndry! Scr Screw ew Crosby Cros by and his hotel hotel

Anthony 

Look – I’ll  pay  pay for the laundry and I’ll take care of the Ritalin.

Okay? I think that’s the best thing.

 

Mickey  No, I think it’s the the best bes t thing that I keep tthem hem.. She’l She’lll on only ly talk you into giving them back. Anthony  Mickey 

I won’t let her. I’m not taking that chance.

Anthony 

Wel ell, l, then hide them or bi bin n them or – 

Judy  Oh, just g giv ivee me the pi pill lls! s! You gu guys ys are ar e so nai naive. ve. You You think I can’ can’tt get tablets any time I want? Day or night? I’ve got address books filled with chink  quacks and dyke doctors who’ll fall over themselves to help me out. I’ve been stepping around guys like you for years. (T (To Mickey.) Sid was just like you you –  got very fidgety. He didn’t like the pills. But at least he wasn’t a hypocrite. Mickey 

Meaning?

Judy  Meanin Meaning g – Mickey – who th thee hell was it providing  it providing  me  me with drugs just six weeks ago? Mickey  Judy  Mickey  do. Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

is – 

That wa wass before I rea reall lly y knew knew you. you. So? I wa wass help helping ing you out. You we were re a gues guestt in the club, cl ub, that’s what we

Oh – you were providi providing ng a service? servi ce? Kind of, yes. Well ell,, I tell you, you, th thee servic ser vicee has reall rea lly y gon gonee down dow n hill! I did didn’t n’t rea reali lise se then then,, what a … I didn’t kn know ow h how ow … What What I mean

 

Judy 

– Oh Ch Chri rist, st, finish th thee sentence before I kill myself.

Mickey  I made a mis istake. take. Okay? You get used to just givi giving ng peopl peo plee what they they wa want nt withou withoutt th thinkin inking g – drink, dr ink, h hookers, ookers, drugs – that’ that’ss the w way ay clubs are. are . Judy 

Fine. L Let’s et’s go to a cl club, ub, then you can forc forcee-feed feed m mee the damn things. things.

Mickey  Judy 

No. Stop saying sa ying ‘no’ to me!

Mickey 

You’l ou’lll never get cl clear ear of them if you keep – 

Judy ( yelling   yell ing ) I don’t want to get cle clear! ar! – because beca use I don’t need  to  to get clear. Just a little bit of help to sleep and a little bit of help to sing. That’s no crime. Anthony  Judy 

Judy, Judy, I agre agreee wi with th Mickey. You have to – 

Oh – God!

She flings a random object across the room. Let me explain something to you fellas. I have swallowed and vomited more drugs than you could possibly imagine. What I’m taking now is nothing –  nothing – to what I was taking at home. Amphetamines, narcotics, uppers, downers, cockt coc ktails ails of Ben Benzedrin zedrinee and Dexedrine, all w washed ashed down wi with th alcohol. Seconal, Tuinal, tranqu tranquili ilisers, sers, energisers energisers,, and – Ritalin! I was  buzzin  buz zing! g! You cou could ld have shoved shoved cables cable s int into o me me and powered Manhat Manhattan tan!! … And where am I at the end of it all? Still standing. Centre stage, boys. Centre stage. Anthony 

But for how lo long ng??

Judy (to  (to  Anthony, vicious vicious)) Anthony 

As lo long ng as they want wa nt me!

avoids further confrontation and quietly exits.

 

Judy (to  (to  Mickey, mor moree calmly cal mly))

… You’re a sweet sw eet man.

And I love that you care for me. That you’re my protector. But you need to let me look after myself sometimes. That’s my right. She puts her hand out. He does nothing. Judy … I ruined my life once. I’m not about to do it again. I need those. And ithout them, I’m not leaving this room, or going to the radio, or doing the show. Because without them, I can’t do these things. I need a little bit of help. But I heard what you said. Really I did. And Judy’s gonna be a good girl.

She starts to gently sing to t o him. You made me love you … I didn’t wanna do it … I didn’t wanna do it … e slowly relents relents and shakes one single tablet out of the bott bottle. le. Mickey  Judy 

Just one. Just one …

She smiles and gently takes the pill from his hand. She sings again. … You know you made me love you … She puts the pill in her mouth.  Fade to blackout. black out.

Scene Four music plays as aInterviewer link into the who nextwears sequence. A pool sweater. of light rises on piece on   Judyof  and a BBC   Radio a colourful They

 

aree live on the ar t he radio. Radio Interviewer It’s such a pleasure to welcome to the BBC the legendary Judy Garland – and I must say, you look delightful. Judy 

Oh, thank you.

Radio Interviewer  Judy – may I begin by asking – we’re we ’re alwa always ys reading rea ding of  your private life in the papers – often very dramatic stories. How much of this should we believe? Judy  Oh Oh,, all of it, darli dar ling ng,, all of it! ( Laughs.  Laughs.)) Otherwise, it’s just no fun. If  you knew how dull and ordinary my life was in reality, you would all be so  bored. Radio Interviewer 

You don’t mind all th thee stories? stori es?

Judy  Hell Hell,, no. What What we do is – I mean, th thee two of us, what we … I’m sorry sor ry,, I for forgot got th thee question. q uestion. Radio Interviewer 

The stories stori es in th thee – 

Judy  Oh yes, yes. I si sitt up wi with th Mickey in the the evenings and we read it all and laugh like drains. (She (She laughs.) laughs.) Radio Interviewer  Mickey Deans.

Your sp speaki eaking ng,, of course, cours e, of your curr current ent ‘bea ‘b eau’ u’ – 

Judy  You kn know ow – I’ll tell you you what’s th thee rea reason son I’m dis distracted. tracted. It It’s ’s the the top you’re you ’re wear wearing ing.. It’ It’ss kaleidoscopic kalei doscopic.. Radio Interviewer  Judy 

Well ell,, our li listeners steners will wi ll have to take your your wor word d for that. that.

Yes they they will wi ll!! Is your your sex li life fe as col colourfu ourfull as your your sw sweater? eater?!!

e lets out an embarassed laugh, then rapidly change changess subject.

 

Radio Interviewer  Let’s talk now about abo ut your conce concert rt at the Talk al k of the Town. Six whole weeks. Judy  I th think ink th they’re ey’re seeing seei ng how many shows I can do before I fall over. Are you coming to see me Brian? Radio Interviewer  Judy 

I am inde indeed. ed. Although my name name is Donald. Donal d.

Oh! … As in the Duck?

Radio Interviewer 

I suppose so …

Judy  I’m sor sorry ry – th that at was wa s ver very y rude. I’m not quite myself today today.. Plea Please se forgive me. You must come and have dinner with me and my fiancé after the show one night. Okay? We’ll go out, the three of us – Mickey, Donald and –  (referring to herself ) Goofy Goofy!!

They both chuckle at this. Radio Interviewer  Judy 

I would love to.

Good … Love to what?

Radio Interviewer 

… You invi invited ted me to dinn di nner. er.

Judy  Did I rea reall lly? y? I’m alw always ays doing doi ng th that. at. I’ll invite any anybody! body! ( Judy realises rea lises the intervi interviewer ewer is offended but soldiers on on)) … One day they’ll all turn up and it’ll be terrible – just terrible. It’s really all – … I’m sorry, this isn’t going very well. Radio Interviewer  your concert tonight.

No, no, it’s abso absolutely lutely – … I expect you’re you’re focused focused on

Judy  I have a concert conce rt tonight tonight?? Oh yes – I suppose suppo se I must have. Though Though how on earth they expect me to – … Does this place have a liquor cabinet? I mean, my God, how you all survive on tea tea I  I will never – (She ( She gives up.)… Can up.)… Can I go

 

now? Radio Interviewer  Judy 

… Wel ell, l, of course cours e – You must be a very ver y busy lady la dy..

You can just put on a recor re cord, d, ri righ ght? t?

Radio Interviewer  Judy Garland!

Yes, es , that’s the eas easy y bit. bi t. Ladie Ladiess and gentlemen – Miss

usic kicks in immediately immediately.. Blackout and we move sharply into a concert   sequence. The band is i s revealed again. This is  is Judy singing  singi ng at her best, bes t, on excellent form –  SONG MEDLEY  ‘FOR ME AND MY GAL’  ‘YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU.’  ‘THE TROLLEY SONG’  t the end of the routine – blackout.

Scene Five The hotel suite, later that night.  night.  Mickey is on the telephone.  telephone. Anthony is checking under the piano, looking for hidden pills. Mickey (on  (on the phone) phone) … Well ell,, I’d rather you checked. It’s It’s a favourite  place of hers so she’s she’s as likely li kely to be tthere here as anywhere anywhere else … yes, check  again. This is important. You have my number? … Thank you.

e puts the phone down and turns to  to Anthony. Mickey  Anthony 

Did you check the bathro bathroom? om? Twice.

 

Mickey  Anthony  Mickey  Anthony  Mickey  Anthony  celebrate.

What ab about out the tank? There’s not nothing hing.. Look, I’d pre prefer fer not to be doi doing ng this. this. I can’ can’tt help that. ( He  He dials a new number. number.) I’m calling The Ivy. I’d li like ke to go to my ro room. om. Don’t be stupid. We have a crisis cri sis here. We don’t have a cri crisi sis. s. She did a great show an and d just went out to

Mickey  She never just ‘goes out out’. ’. And And don’t tell m mee I can’t rec recogn ognis isee a crisis, because I can. ( His phone call is answered. answered.)) … Yes, I need to speak to the restaurant manager … It’s Mickey Deans … Mickey Deans Mickey Deans …  … Judy Garland’s fiancé … (This ( This time it works.) works.) … Thank you. (T ( To Anthony.) Could you keep looking? Anthony 

I’ve looked everywhere.

Mickey (into  (into the phone) phone) … Yes, hi. – Is Judy Garland Garl and there there tonigh tonight? t? … Well, I need you to break your policy and tell me, because we have an emergency here … She isn’t? Then why the big charade you asshole?!

e slams the phone down. Anthony 

I guess guess we won’t be eating th there ere again.

Mickey  I can’t th think ink of anywhere anywhere else. Jesus! … What What about you yourr queer  friends, can’t we call them? Anthony  None of them we were re watching the show ttonight onight – and I rese re sent nt you calling my friends –  Mickey (dismissing  (dismissing the sentence) sentence)

Oh, shut up.

 

Anthony 

Fine. Goodnight Good night,, Mickey. Mickey.

e heads for the door. Mickey  Anthony  Mickey  Anthony 

No, no – come on, I need help here. I don’t give a monkey’ onkey’s. s. If she comes in dr drun unk, k, it’s gonn gonnaa take both of us. I was hired as a pianist.

Mickey  You we were re hired as Judy Garland’s Garl and’s pia pianist. nist. That’ That’ss a wider wi der job description. Anthony 

… You kn know, ow, saying sa ying ‘p ‘ple leas ase’ e’ might help a little. li ttle.

Mickey  Okay – ‘Pleas ‘Pl ease’ e’ … Pleas Ple ase! e! … What? What? You wa want nt me to buy you chocolat ch ocolates es as well? Anthony 

No, but I’d at least lea st li like ke a dri drink nk..

Mickey 

Fine. Wh Whis isky ky??

Anthony 

Soda water.

Mickey 

Oh ri righ ghtt – the hard stuff.

Mickey 

 pours out a glass gl ass of whisky whis ky for hi himself mself and a soda so da water water..

Anthony 

 sits.  sit s.

Mickey  … I can’t bel believ ievee she gave me th thee slip. sli p. She had the the stage door guy guy distract me. Anthony 

The blond? Yes, he distracts dis tracts me too …!

 

Mickey  Anthony 

brings over the drinks, drinks, Anthony takes his. Cheers.

Mickey ( pointed )

… Bottoms up!

Anthony   gives  gives  Mickey a weary smile and they both drink. Nothing said  or a moment.  moment. Mickey sits  sits also. Mickey 

… Are you single?

Anthony (mock  (mock surprise) surprise) Mickey 

I’m sor sorry? ry?

It’ It’ss a question, not a proposa prop osal. l.

Anthony  Oh. Wel ell, l, in that case ca se – Yes. es . For about si six x months onths now. I broke br oke up ith someone over the summer. Mickey 

Wh Who o wa wass he?

Anthony  His name name wa wass Nigel. He was Au Austral stralian, ian, a dancer. We we were re together for quite some time … and then he went. Mickey (drily  (drily)) Anthony 

Suicide?

No. He just move oved d on … To a wom wo man, in fact.

Mickey ( smiling, intrig i ntrigued  ued ) Anthony  Mickey 

Really?

Yes es,, I thought thought you’d li like ke that. A wo wom man. Wow … You dr drove ove him str strai aigh ght…! t…!

e has a good laugh over this. Anthony 

I’m so please ple ased d to have am amused used you. you. You’re such a confidence

 

 booster – they they sh should ould h hire ire you out. out. Mickey  Anthony 

Wel ell, l, be fair. You have to admit it’s fun funny ny.. Actually Actuall y, no. It was wa s extremely un un-funn -funny y. I liked li ked him a lot. lo t.

 brief pause. They drink. … And what about you? Turned any women lesbian this month? Mickey 

… Not this month.

The phone rings.  rings. Mickey grabs  grabs it. it . Mickey  Anthony  Mickey 

Yes es?? … Right, Ri ght, okay. ( Puts  Puts the phone phon e down. down.)) She’s on her way up. How is she? Th Thee porter’s porter ’s carrying  her.  her.

We hear  Judy from  from the corridor. corridor. Judy (offstage  (offstage))

Hey – put me dow down n … I sai said d – put me down, dow n, you idiot! idi ot!

The hotel  Porter  walks intograze the room,  Judy hisbloodied.  arms. She looks wretched. There is a large on hercarrying  forehead, red in and bloodied.  Anthony rushes forward. Anthony 

Oh my God, your head! Wh What at happened? happe ned?

Judy  Wh What at are you you asking me for? H How ow tthe he hell would I kn know! ow! (To the Porter.) Put me down!

(To the others others..) I think he’s hanging on to me till he gets a tip. Anthony 

 grabs some coins coi ns from his pocket and gi gives ves them to tthe he  Porter,

 

who unceremoniously dumps  dumps Judy down onto the sofa. Anthony 

Thank you. I’l I’lll get something for that graze.

e goes back into i nto the bathroom as the the  Porter exits. Mickey  Judy 

Wh Where ere th thee hell have you been? Don’t you raise rai se you yourr voi voice ce to me!

Mickey 

I wa wasn’t! sn’t!

Judy  I kn know, ow, II’m ’m just war warning ning you not to! I’m entitle entitled d tto og go o out out on my ow own n sometimes, sometim es, you know. know. I am a car card-c d-carr arryin ying g adult – aalr lrigh ight! t! Mickey 

You’r ou’ree dr drun unk k as hell hell..

Judy  That’s ri righ ght. t. And I lo love ve it. You should ttry ry it too, Mickey. Peopl Peo plee might like you more. Mickey  Judy 

Oh, why don’t you fuck off. Hey – I’m Judy Garland Garl and – you show me some res respect! pect!

Mickey 

And I’m your fiancé fiancé.. So why don’t you start star t to fuck fucking ing earn ear n it!

She grabs the bowl of fruit and hurls it across the room at him. It misses him and smashes against the wall, the fruit flying everywhere. everywhere.  Anthony enters, managing mana ging to avoid the ttumbling umbling fruit. Anthony  Mickey  Judy 

I found found some antiseptic antiseptic.. Wh When en you’r you’ree done, hide it, or she’l she’lll try and drink dri nk it.

Oh – suck my di dick! ck!

 

Anthony  Judy 

Judy – I need to bathe that woun wo und. d.

What?

Anthony 

You have a nasty graze on your fore forehead. head.

She feels her for f orehead ehead and then checks her fingers for blood. Judy 

Wh Where ere is it?

Anthony 

Just stay stil stilll for a sec second. ond.

e wets a handkerchief handkerchief with the antiseptic antisepti c and attempts to dab it on the raze. Mickey  How did you get th thee cut? Fall over in front of a bunch bunch of   photograph  phot ographers? ers? Can we expect to see it in th thee papers tom tomorrow orrow?? Judy 

(to to  Anthony) Is there a way that we can get him to just leave?

Mickey  story.

An Answ swer er the the question! I need to kn know ow if I have to invent anoth another  er 

Judy  No, you don’t. I just tri trippe pped d or som something. ething. Or so som me guy guy pushed me – I ust forget. Who Who gives a d dam amn, n, anywa anyway y. There we were re no photos, alri al righ ght? t? Mickey 

Good. Because I’ve never see seen n you look so ugly! ugly!

She lunges at  Mickey again, but  Anthony holds her back. Anthony  stay still still..

Mickey, Mickey, would you you shu shutt up! That is isn’t n’t helpi helping ng.. Judy Judy,, please ple ase – just

She gets to her feet and appr approaches oaches  Mickey, confrontational. Judy 

(to to  Mickey) You bastard son of a bitch!

 

Anthony  Judy 

He doe doesn’t sn’t mean any of it – you’ve just made h him im angry angry..

( stil  stilll at  Mickey) You homo! homo!

Anthony  calmly goes over to her and takes her by the hand to lead her  back to the sofa. Anthony 

No, dea dear, r, I’m the hom homo o…

They sit again on the sofa. … and we’ve been sat here worrying about you for hours. Judy 

You don’t need to wo worr rry y – I can ca n handle mysel yself. f.

Anthony 

Yes, th that’s at’s already alr eady appa apparent. rent.

e continues to bathe the t he wound. Judy 

(to to  Anthony) You’re hurting me.

Anthony 

I’m trying to stop it getting infected. infected .

Judy (impatient   (impatient ) Anthony 

Oh, Oh, just leave lea ve it.

In a sec second. ond.

Judy  I said – leave it! (She brushes  brushes Anthony away and stands up.) up.) … I need a drink. Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

No, you don’t. You’re ou’r e not having havi ng anything. anything. Don’t you try and control contro l me, Mickey. I make the dec decis isio ions. ns. We’ll e’ ll see se e abo about ut that.

 

Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Yes – we will  see.  see. The last las t time time you ran you yourr own life, li fe, look loo k what happened. Take a lo look ok at at your   your  own  own life – you think you did so great? I hate it when you you’r ’ree li like ke th this. is. Like what? – Wh Wher ere’s e’s my drink dri nk?? You’re not getting getting a drink dri nk.. I’ll orde orderr some coffee. Screw th thee coffee! coffee!

She hunts around the room room for the li liquor quor bottles. Where is it? Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

It’s gone, so forget it. Wh Wher ere’s e’s the whi whisky? sky? Start strai straigh ghtenin tening g yourse yourself lf out – you’ve you’ve got a show tomorr tomorrow. ow.

Judy (laughing  (laughing at this suggestion) suggestion) Mickey 

Ha! – I’m not  doing  doing a show tomorrow.

Yes you are. ar e.

Judy  Now y you ou li listen sten to me. I deci decide de if and when I do shows shows.. And And I am not doing one tomorrow –  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Yes you are. ar e. So you can ca n get on the phone and start star t givi giving ng back bac k the tickets tickets.. That’s not gonna gonna happen. happe n.

 

Judy  Are y you ou li listening stening to me? N No o show! I took the the roof of offf of that that place pla ce tonight. I gave them everything I have. And now we’re gonna get the hell out of  here because I just can’t do that again. There’s nothing left. Cancel the show. Mickey 

And then want? wa nt? We wa walk lk aw away ay from here with wi th nothing ? ( He goes

right up to her.) her.) We agreed at the start of all this I would be the guy who looks after you. That’s what you wanted – and that’s exactly what I’m doing. So tonight you can rant and rave as much as you like. But when the sun comes up tomorrow you are getting ready for a show, regular as clockwork. Judy 

Is that that your your final word? wor d?

Mickey  Judy 

Yes. Well here are my my final  final words – 

She grabs a nearby cushion and whacks him hard with it on each word. (Yelling. Yelling.)) I – don’t – want – to! She turns from him, throws the cushion to the floor, and storms into the toilet. On her way, she notices  notices  Anthony’s bag on a nearby chair and takes it  in there with her. Neither  Anthony or  Mickey see  see her grabbing gra bbing the bag. b ag. Anthony (very  (very dry) dry) Mickey  Anthony 

… I thou though ghtt that went we nt very ver y we well ll …

It was ffine. ine. I had th thee whole th thing ing under under control. You di did d …?! Somehow I mis isse sed d that.

Mickey  This is h how ow she tests me. If I let her beat me down, dow n, I’ll never never get my way again. I know that woman really well. Anthony  Mickey 

You’ve only know known n her ten minutes. She’s not th that at complicated. complica ted.

 

Anthony  Mickey 

Wel elll … far be it from me to argu ar guee with wi th her hu husb sband and to be … That’s ri righ ght. t.

Anthony  Mickey 

Are you sure she’l she’lll go on tom tomorr orrow? ow? She’ll go on. I’ve seen see n her wo worse rse than than this. this.

Anthony 

Reall Rea lly?! y?! That must have bee been n fun fun!!

e heads for the door. Mickey 

You’r ou’ree not going?

Anthony  Yes, es , I’m going. I’m defi definitel nitely y going, so let’s le t’s not even eve n disc di scuss uss it. I’ll order some coffee for her from my room. ( Looking for his bag. bag.)) … Where is it? Mickey 

What?

Anthony 

My bag was wa s here.

Mickey  her.

realises  Judy must have taken the bag into the bathroom with realises

Mickey 

… Was there anyth anything ing in it? Anything Anything she’ she’d d like? li ke?

Anthony 

No, of course not.

Mickey 

bangs on the bathroom ba throom door door..

Mickey 

Have you got Anthony Anthony’s ’s bag? ( Bangs again.) again.) You hear me?

The door flies open, open, Judy exiting. She throws the bag to  to Anthony. Judy 

I hear you.

 

She crosses crosses to the sofa as as  Anthony checks through his bag. Anthony  Mickey 

… Oh God! What?

Anthony 

She’s taken these.

e holds up an empty empty pill bott bottle. le. Mickey 

Wh What at are ar e they?

Anthony  Judy 

They’re They’re for my si sister ster’s ’s cocker spanie spaniell … He has mange. ange.

Oops!

She throws throws herself on the sofa. Mickey  Judy 

Call a doctor doctor.. Scre Screw w th thee doctor. I don’t need a doctor.

Mickey 

They They’re ’re for a fu fucking cking spaniel! spanie l!

Judy then Then ca ll aa fuck fucking ing vet! … (She raises her leg.) leg.) If I piss up a lamp  post, then you  you call call doctor. Mickey  Judy 

This is ju just st great isn’t it. There could be a major ajo r health risk ri sk here. I’ll be fin fine. e.

Mickey  Anthony  Mickey 

I wa wass talking about th thee dog! It’s okay okay,, I can ca n get some mor oree from the vet. Mak Makee an appointm appo intment ent for Judy while whil e you’re you’re there there..

 

Judy 

You’ ou’rre not funny. funny.

Mickey  No. You took ou took the dog pills. You’re You’re funny.  funny. What the hell’s the matter  ith you? Don’t you read labels? Judy  If you gave me a few Ritali Ritalin n li like ke you’r you’ree supposed suppose d to, I wouldn’t be so damn desperate.

She accidentally rolls off the sofa, landing on the floor. floor. Mickey 

You’r ou’ree not having havi ng any Rita Ritali lin, n, not ever. eve r. Okay?

She hoists herself onto her hands and knees and starts crawling on all fours towards  Mickey, grow towards  growling ling like l ike a dog. Mickey 

Now go to bed.

She barks and growls. growls. Pausing only to raise a leg l eg and pee over  Anthony’s eet. She then heads towards  towards Mickey. Mickey 

Judy – go to bed. Just – go to bed.

 y this point, she s he is facing  f acing  Mickey’s groin.

Judy  Not wi withou thoutt my bone I won’t! wo n’t! She lunges towards his penis, then collapses with laughter. Anthony  laughs along with her. But after a moment, he catches  catches Mickey’s lare and stops. Anthony 

I’ll be off, th then. en.

e picks up his bag and edges towards the door.

… Judy, please try and just – take it easy. I’ll see you in the morning.

 

She rolls over and he rubs her belly. She wriggles with delight. Who’s a good girl?! I’ll come straight here. Anthony now heads for the door. Judy 

Try the par park k fir first st – I might be havi having ng my walk. wa lk.

Anthony  leaves. She starts laughing to herself, but chokes on the laughter,, causing her tto laughter o cough and retch a littl little. e. Mickey 

If you’re you’re g gonn onnaa th throw row u up, p, do it in the the toil toilet. et.

Judy  I prefer th thee wi window. ndow. If th thee wind’ wi nd’ss in the the righ rightt dir directio ection n – you can hit the concierge.

She crawls back to the sofa or nearest chair. He pours her a glass of water. Mickey  Judy 

Wh Why y do you keep doing doi ng this to yourse yourself? lf? It wa wass an evening out. out. It just went a bit cock-eyed … Is there there coffee?

e gives her the water. Mickey  Judy 

It’s on its wa way y. I need a coffee.

e picks up the bits of fruit f ruit bowl and pieces of fruit that she earli earlier er hurled  across the room. She in the meantime awkwardly drinks some of the water, most of it pouring down her chin. … What are you doing?

Mickey 

The fruit bow bowll hit th thee wall. wal l.

 

Judy  I mis issed sed you you?? I’m lo losi sing ng my touch. With Luft and Minnelli, Minnell i, m my y accuracy was deadly deadly.. Mickey 

So I hear.

Judy  Sure you hear. Everybody knows knows about it. They told the the world wo rld every  bad thing thing about me. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

From what I see, see , th they ey told it just as it is. If you don’t li like ke it – then why don’t you go? May Maybe be I will. wil l. I don’t need you. Righ Rightt now it sounds a great fu fucking cking idea! ide a!

Judy  Good. Get th thee hell out! And take your your cheap shit fucking fucking shit-coloured shit-col oured shoes with you.

She grabs almost any object she can get her hands on – beginning with her   shoes – and starts st arts throw t hrowing ing ever everything ything at him. He crosses crosses to t o her, her, grabs her  in both his arms and shakes her to a halt. Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

Stop! Stop! For Christ’s Christ’s sake. Is this this h how ow it is is?? You wa wann nnaa be this? this? I am this this!! No you you’r ’ree not. This is tthe he drink dri nk.. Look at yourse yourself. lf. Look!

e pulls her over to a mirror and for forces ces her to llook ook at her self. Judy  Mickey 

Get your hands off me. That’ That’ss what th thee dri drink nk and th thee pills pil ls do to you – you see it?

 

Judy  Mickey 

I see it. Is that what you want? wa nt?

She pulls herself away from from his hold. Judy  Wh When en was wa s it ever  about  abo ut what I want! want!?? I  didn’t  didn’t make this. I was up at 4 a.m., fifteen years old, fourteen hours a day, take this, swallow that. Even my own mother  insisted  insisted I took every pill they gave me. No wonder I skipped down the the yellow brick road – I could h have ave flown  down n it!  flown dow Mickey 

I need some air.

She prevents him from leaving. Judy  No – you stay and li listen. sten. How? – How could I stop? I could barely bar ely stand up without those drugs. Let alone sing. Mickey 

Judy – 

Judy  Wh When en you said sa id y you’d ou’d m mar arry ry me, you you took on my pas pastt – and all al l that that comes with it. Mickey 

I don’t acce accept pt th that. at.

Judy  You don’t have a choice! choi ce! My God, Mickey, you gotta se seee the whol wholee  picture – it’s it’s not th this is or that, that, everyth everything ing just comes comes at me me at once once and it crashes crashes from one thing to the other. I can’t control it – why can’t you see that? Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

I do see it. No – no, you don’t. (Snide. Snide.)) You’re too fucking young’. fucking young’. Get out of my way wa y. I can see how it is for you – ( yell  yelling  ing ) so why can’t you see it how it is

 

for me! n her agony, she reaches out her arms as though desperate for the whole world to embrace her. She slumps to the floor and starts to sob. A moment. Then he resigns resigns the battle and sits. Nothing is said for f or a while. She crawls over to him and takes his hand, caressing it, kissing it. Judy  Mickey  Judy 

… Mickey –  What? … Could I have a li little ttle whisky?

Mickey ( pulli  pulling ng his hand away) away)

Oh, Jesus! Jes us!

Judy  No – no – just a tiny dro drop. p. With soda. soda . I’ve got got a terrible terri ble h heada eadache. che. It’s It’s so I can sleep. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

You wo won’t n’t slee sl eep. p. You’r ou’ree being bei ng treated trea ted for mange. Ple Pleas asee – I’m begging you. No! Okay – okay … So lo long ng as you stay …

She cuddles up closer to him. … Remember Remember when we were wer e togeth together er th that at first firs t nigh nightt at your club. Re Rem mem ember  ber  how beautiful that was? We talked for hours … We talked through breakfast … That’s what it will be like, Mickey. Oh, I know I have bad days. Bad nights. And we may need to buy the odd fruit bowl … But there’ll be more good than  bad. I promise promise you th that. at. She takes hold of a nearby cushion and lays down on the floor floor,, exhausted.

 

Mickey 

… You wa want nt a bath or a shower shower??

Judy (not  (not listening ) I’ll ttry ry harder … Don’t give up on me. – I love lov e you, you, Mickey. You do know that, don’t you?

ealising he won’t get an answer, he exits into the bathroom. She doesn’t  notice and keeps talking. I just need you to know that because – … they tend not to stay around. The men I love. They go while I’m not even looking. I don’t mean it to happen … I on’t lose you, will I, Mickey? e returns from the bathroom. She looks up at him with sad eyes. … Will I? Mickey  Judy 

… You want anything? … I wa want nt cigarettes. cigare ttes. There are no cigare cigarettes. ttes.

e grabs the room keys and exits. She watches him go, wondering if he’s coming back. She cries out to him. Judy 

… Mickey …?!

usic begins. Lighting change. Transition into song sequence. We are not in concert here. This is nowhere in particular, a space in her mind. The first  lyrics are half-spoken, half-sung as she eases gradually into the t he song. SONG ‘THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY  The song ends. She exits slowly to the bathroom as as lights fade to blackout.

 

ct Two

Scene One  Lights rise r ise on on  Judy sat  sat at her dressing-room table in i n the hote hotell room. She is without make-up and draped in her dressing gown.  gown.  Anthony enters. Anthony 

Judy 

I’m not there.

Anthony  Judy 

And they di didn’t dn’t invi invite te you?

I am am the  the fucking problem …!

Anthony  Judy 

So I reali rea lised sed.. And And where where’s ’s Mickey? Mickey?

He has a meeting with wi th Delfont. To discuss dis cuss a proble pro blem m.

Anthony  Judy 

I’ve come from the theatre theatre..

… What What time’s your car car??

Eleve Eleven. n. I’ll wa walk lk strai straigh ghtt on.

Anthony 

But you haven’t done your makeake-up? up?

Judy  I was just getting getting around to it. I could h have ave put put on some fou foundation, ndation,  but – I fforgot orgot to bring my bucket bucket and and shovel.

e smiles. Anthony 

Would you li like ke some help help??

 

Judy 

No.

Anthony 

I’ll take th that at as a ‘Y ‘Yes’ es’..

e starts pr preparing eparing all the t he make-up. Judy 

You’ll ttake ake ‘No’ as a ‘Y ‘Yes’ es’?? – How does tthat hat wor work? k?

Anthony  I’m ver very y good at doing doi ng make-up. ake- up. I used tto o do it for m my y mother at the weekends … And stil And still  l  she  she was surprised I turned out homosexual … Now  – let’s sort oursel ourselves ves out here.

e manoeuvres her chair to distance it from the mirror. Then he picks up the  stool from elsewher elsewheree in the room and places iitt between her he r and the dressing  table, so that he is facing f acing her her.. Okay then – I want you to just look straight ahead and don’t move a muscle. Judy 

That That’s ’s what Minnell Minnellii used to say before we had sex.

Anthony (chuckling   (chuckling ) At lea least st you were we re having  sex.  sex. The rest of us are not in such demand. But then again, I suppose you’ve had enough for both of us. Judy 

That That’s ’s because beca use I’m so very ver y good at it.

Anthony  Judy  do.

God, yes. I’m an animal in the bed bedro room. om. There There’s ’s just nothing nothing I wo won’t n’t

Anthony  Judy 

So I’ve heard.

Believe Beli eve me – your your rep reput utation ation prec precedes edes you. you.

It does does?? … Is th that at a good th thing ing??

Anthony 

Not if you were wer e pla plann nning ing a white white wedding.  wedding.

 

e takes up a make-up sponge and applies some foundation to iit. t. He waits or her to close her eyes. … Judy, I can’t do this unless we have our eyes closed. Judy 

He used to say that  before  before we w e had sex too!

Anthony 

… I’m wa waiting. iting.

She shuts her eyes and he applies the foundation to her face.  s he does so, they t hey conti continue nue to talk. t alk. We could do this every night, if you wanted. Meet an hour before the show and I could – help make you beautiful. Judy 

You ca can n do that i n an hour?

Anthony  Judy 

Don’t you believ bel ievee in miracl ir acles? es?

No. On Only ly gravity … My chin and tits are in a race rac e to to my knees knees..

e looks horrified horrif ied by tthis his comment. comment. He re-gathers himself. Anthony  … Let’s talk about ‘nice’ th thing ings, s, shall we? You kn know ow – flowers, flowe rs, trees … the ballet. Judy 

Men in tights?

Anthony  Precis Prec isely. ely. A th thing ing of beauty we can both appreci appr eciate. ate. Did you ever  meet Nureyev? Judy 

Darl Darling, ing, I’ve met everybody ever ybody.. Or to be correc cor rectt – everybody’ ever ybody’ss met me.

Anthony   They bal ballet let at th theeI’m Coliseum Coli seum. I’m ver very y we well with wi th the chap who runs have the cloakroom. sure he.could steal usllaacquainted couple of tickets

 

for your night off. Judy (heavily  (heavily sarcastic) sarcastic) of mistake?

I have a night off?! Je Jesus sus – surely sure ly that’s some kind

Anthony  Mr Delfont’s Delfont’s genero generosity sity is boundle boundless ss … Now – eye shadow. Which do you want to use? Judy 

Something to br bring ing out the col colour our of my eyes.

e examines the palette of colours. Anthony  Judy 

… You don’t seem to have it in ‘bl ‘bloods oodshot’…! hot’…!

Oh, be nice to me.

Anthony  yourself.

I’m only teasing teasi ng.. By th thee time time I’m finished, you you’ll ’ll hardly rec recogn ognis isee

Judy  That That’s ’s nothing nothing new. I wa wass looking in the the m mir irror ror just now and – it asn’t me looking back. I had no idea who it was at all, at first … And then I realised – it was my mother. After all those years of trying to wipe her face from my memory – there she is. In every line and every crack. I knew she’d catch up with me some day. Anthony  Judy 

If only you saw what I see. see .

Wh Which ich is? is ?

e applies the eye shadow. Anthony  Esther from from Meet  Meet Me in St Louis … Louis … Vicky Lester from A from A Star is is orn … orn  … Dorothy …

Judy 

… And the giant squid squi d from 20,000 Leagues Under the Seal 

 

Anthony  You’re ou’r e bea beautiful. utiful. To me and everyone eve ryone that’s eve everr wa watched tched you. So remember that when you next look in the mirror … Open your eyes.

e moves out of the way, way, so that she can ffully ully see her reflection. … I think we’re making progress. Judy 

You do do??

Anthony 

Just wait wai t till I’ve finished with wi th you. you.

Judy  Oh – can we wait a little wh while? ile? I don’t want to be ready yet. yet. I like it hen I’m not ready. When there’s still time to change my mind. Anthony  Judy 

I wish wi sh you didn’t did n’t get so nervous.

It’s not nerves, nerv es, Anthony Anthony.. It’s bl blind ind pani panic. c.

Anthony 

It’s not li like ke it’s the fir first st time.

Judy  No. But that makes it harder. harde r. It was wa s so much eas easie ierr at the begi beginn nning. ing. It’s a terrible thing to know what you’re capable of … And to never get there …

e takes hold of her hands. Anthony 

Even at your your wor worst, st, you wipe wi pe th thee floor wi with th everybody ever ybody else. els e.

She looks at her hand, noticing it is shaking with nerves. Judy 

… Oh God … I’m shaking.

Anthony 

It It’ll ’ll pass.

Judy  Anth Anthony ony,, I – the medl edley ey – I don’t know know if – if I can rem re member th thee ords … I just – 

 

Anthony 

It’s It’s alr alrigh ight. t. You’ll be fine.

She looks like she is about to cry. Don’t you you dar daree rruin uin that that make-up. make-up. I’l I’lll never forgive for give you. e gives her a tissue t issue to wipe her eyes. Then he goes to apply li lipstick. pstick. But   she stops sto ps his hand by g grabbing rabbing his hi s wrist. wrist . Judy 

I’m fri frigh ghtened. tened.

Anthony  We’r e’ree all fri frigh ghtened. tened. We go th through rough life li fe like li ke little li ttle childr children. en. Every single one of us pretending  us pretending  to  to be an adult … All you can really do – is find someone to be with who’s less scared than you are. Judy 

… Someone li like ke Mickey.

Anthony 

Wel elll … someone … Lips.

e applies lipstick to her lips. There – phase one completed. e reaches forward and kisses her on the cheek. A moment. Then he kisses her on the lips. This kiss ki ss becomes pr prolonged, olonged, lasting longer than either of  them expected. After After it, i t, they say nothing for a mom moment. ent. Judy 

… You’l ou’lll need to hold my hand tonight. tonight.

Anthony  Judy 

But how am I suppose supposed d to pla play y the the piano? pia no?

You know what I mean. ea n.

e nods that he does. Anthony 

… Now is th there ere anyt anythin hing g else els e I can do for you you??

 

Judy 

How about a one-way one-wa y ticket out of here?

Anthony  Judy 

Apart Apar t from that.

Wel elll … you could coul d help me wi with th my sc scar arff …?

Anthony 

… Certainly Certai nly,, Miss Garl Garland. and.

e produces produces her scarf with a flourish and wraps it around her neck. Judy 

Thank you.

Anthony  Judy 

No, no. Thank you Thank you

For what?

Anthony 

… For saving savi ng my li life fe …

usic begins. The band is revealed. revealed. A brief blackout while she puts on her  acket and takes up the microp microphone. hone. Transition Transition into int o a concert sequence – 

Scene Two SONG ‘WHEN YOU’RE YOU’RE SMI SMILING’  LING’  Judy 

 sings the t he song ini initial tially ly deadpan, wit without hout any hi hint nt of a smil smile. e.

 fter singing singi ng part of the song, she realises she h has as got herself hers elf tangled t angled iin n the microphone lead. Judy ( spoken)  spoken )

This th thing ing is attacking me, I feel like li ke I’ve been lasoo’d las oo’d..

She sings more of the song, then breaks from it – 

 

(Spoken. Spoken.)) I’d like to take a moment to thank you all for coming here tonight … and for that matter, I’d like to thank myself for getting here tonight! I tell ya, I’ve been having a hell of a time. She sings more of the song, relaxing now and breaking into a smile. But then  she becomes suddenly sudde nly frozen, as th though ough momentarily llost. ost. She looks l ooks at  Anthony. Anthony (whispered   (whispered )

It’s It’s you.

She forces herself back on track t rack and concludes the song. Applause. Applause. Judy 

Thank you, Thank you. Let me just get this lead le ad sorted sor ted out.

She fiddles with the lead again, then forgets what she was saying. … Now what was I saying Anthony? Anthony 

You we were re thanking thanking the audi audience. ence.

Judy … I was? Well, there you go, folks. (She ( She laughs.) laughs.) … – Thank you. This is for you – 

e plays a brief int intro roduction duction to the t he song ‘Dancing in the Dark’ on the piano. Judy 

‘Blue Sk Skies’ ies’..

She gets ready to sing. He suddenly stops, playing nothing. Judy 

… Wai ait, t, I think someone shot the pianis pi anist. t.

She crosses to him at the piano. Anthony (embarassed   (embarassed ) Judy 

‘Blue Sk Skies’ ies’..

I don’t have th that, at, we don’t have it.

 

Anthony  Judy 

I … we don’t have it.

You lo lost st it?

Anthony 

No, I – 

Judy  Wel ell, l, we have to sing si ng so som mething, honey, honey, or they’ll go and se seee The ousetrap instead ousetrap  instead – and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody … So –? Anthony  Judy 

‘Dancing in th thee Dark’.

We’ll e’ ll give it a try try..

e plays the intro i ntro to ‘Dan ‘Dancing cing in the Dark’, but she sings the t he opening lyrics of ‘Blue Skies’. When she rrealises, ealises, she st stops ops and storms upstage. Judy ( spoken,  spoken, irritat ir ritated  ed ) Anthony 

Wait a second, sec ond, wait wa it a sec second! ond!

I’m so sorr rry y, I – 

Judy  Wh What at exactly is happening here? Either we we’re ’re u under nder a blue sky or  e’re in the the dar dark, k, which is it? Anthony 

I though thoughtt we were we re doing doi ng ‘Dancing ‘Da ncing in the Dar Dark’ k’ – 

Judy (to  (to the audience) audience) I’m sor sorry ry,, ladies lad ies and gentlemen gentlemen,, there there’s ’s confusio confusion n over what time it is and what weather we’re having! – Shall we try again? Anthony 

Okay, Okay, I’l I’lll busk it.

e plays the t he ‘Blue Skies’ intro, intro, but she is i s distracted by the microphone microphone lead  again. Judy 

thing.

I’ve g got ot this damn lead le ad round my le leg g again. agai n. It’s like li ke a dog on heat, this

 

Anthony 

… Judy!

She now starts to sing ‘Dancing in the Dark’ until she rea realises lises the t he whole thing is now getting really screwed up. Judy (a  (a yell ) Ch Chri rist! st! (Stopping  Anthony.) Okay – okay … It’s not my night, is it! – Look, I think we’ll call it quits and take the interval now. Anthony 

No, Judy Judy,, we can’t – 

She pushes all the sheet music onto the floor fl oor.. Judy 

Intermission!

On Anthony’s cue, the band plays her exit music, ‘Somewhere Over the On  ainbow’. She moves moves downstage to talk to the audience, audience, Anthony quieting  the music as she does so. Judy  So you good folks go and get a few dri drink nkss and I’ll – wel well, l, II’l ’lll  probably  probabl y do th thee same same – race you to tthe he bar! We’re gon gonna na g get et th this God dam damn n lead fixed. So you fuck you fuck off  of f  –  – and come back when they call you.

She throws the microphone to the floor. It lands with a thump. She storms off. The music rises again to full ful l volume. lackout.

Scene Three The hotel room.  room. Judy storms  storms in. i n. She searches the room for alcohol, alcohol , yelling  yelli ng  ‘damn’ each time she fail failss to find anything. Shortly Shortly,, Mickey enters and   slams the door doo r behind hi him. m. Mickey 

Wh What at the hell are ar e you doing doi ng!? !?

 

Judy 

I want a dri drink nk..

Mickey  You have to leave le ave and go bac back k in five m minutes inutes – five minutes minutes maximum – you hear me? Judy 

I just got here! here !

Mickey  You can’t lea leave ve th thee venue during the the show! Peopl Peoplee saw you you haili hailing ng a cab. Half of them think you’re not going back. Judy  Mickey  there. Judy 

Maybe they’re ri righ ght. t. Just take a quick dri drink nk or whatever whatever it is y you ou wa want nt and let’s get back 

You’ve hidden all th thee damn bottles!

Mickey ( giving in i n) Judy (waiting   (waiting )

… They’re They’re in th thee bathroom bathroom..

You want me  to get them?! me to

e heads into the toilet to retrieve the hidden bottles. This is just getting crazy, all of it. I have to come back all the way here just to get a damn drink. Those empty. It’s like a tomb inbottles there. should be in my dressing room. My room is Mickey 

Your room is fu full ll of flowers. flowe rs.

Judy  Exactly – it’s li like ke a tomb tomb in  in there …!… And I can’t drink flowers, Mickey.

e hands over the bottle of whisky whisky.. She imm immediately ediately fetches a glass and  ours herself a lar l arge ge drink. Mickey 

Wh What at was wa s that al alll abo about? ut? You cut the fir first st half shor shortt by thirty

 

minutes! They’d hardly sat down. Judy 

I wa wasn’t sn’t getting anywhere. anywhere .

Mickey 

Well ell,, th there ere wa wass no need to curse at everyon ever yone! e!

Judy  You think it’s easy ea sy up there? IIt’s t’s hard enough entertaining enterta ining these peopl peo plee  – you want m mee to be polite?! I just want life to to be a little easi easier. er. II’ve ’ve had enough. I’ve had it, you hear me? Mickey  Judy 

You’ve got three minutes. No. No! I’m finis finished hed for tonight tonight..

Mickey  Judy – li listen sten to me ver very y car carefully efully.. There are hun hundre dreds ds of people peopl e in that theatre waiting for you and we need every penny that they’ve paid out – so you just just pull you yourse rself lf togeth together er because beca use you are  going back. are going Judy  I can’ can’tt do any mor oree tonight. tonight. I’m shaking, look lo ok at me. I rais ra ised ed m my y hand in that spotlight and I saw it tremble – tremble – that’s when I know – when I’m losing control. Mickey 

Look, let’s just go back and – 

Judy   Mickey, darli dar ling ng –expecting how much long nger erof dome. youI think can n keep it’s throwing me on there and thelo best can’t you do itca anymore, too much. Call Delfont and tell him to give the people their money back. Anthony 

Honey Honey – th there’s ere’s a row of people in wheelchairs.

Judy  Wel ell, l, if they wheele whee led d them in, they can wheel whee l them bac back k out again! agai n! … Let’s wrap the whole thing up and go back to California. I hate this Godforsaken place.

Mickey 

You lo love ve Lon London. don.

 

Judy  I do not. I hate th thee people peopl e and th thee th theatres eatres and all those those big red busse bussess  – they they piss m mee off off.. Mickey  Judy  hell.

Are you insane? Yes! es ! Yes – I am. And al alll th thanks anks to you for bring bri nging ing me back to this

Mickey  Judy 

Oh Oh,, stop. It’ It’ss hell!

Mickey 

Judy 

Have anoth another er drink dri nk..

You’re encouraging  me  me to drink?

Mickey 

Wh Whatever atever it takes.

Anthony 

enters.

Anthony 

What What are ar e you doing doi ng here?

Judy 

Having a drink dri nk..

Anthony  Mickey  Judy 

It’ It’ss okay okay,, we we’l ’lll be heading back in two minut inutes. es. We wi will ll not  be  be heading back.

Mickey  Judy 

looks at his watch.

Anth Anthony ony,, pl pleas easee – you talk to her. I don’t wa want nt to tal talk k to him him..

Anthony 

It wasn’t wa sn’t my fault, I was wa s just pl playing aying what – 

 

Mickey 

Anth Anthony ony,, calm ca lm down dow n – have a dr drink. ink.

Anthony  Judy 

Bully for you.

Anthony  Judy  Mickey 

I never dri drink nk during a show!

Are we going back?

No we are not not.. Yes, we are! are !

She slams her glass down.

Judy on th I at said sa id no! I sing siight ngtif– and when want ntht. to. And you are ar e n not ot getting me  back that stag stage e ton tonigh or an any y other othIerwa nig night . And Mickey   –  Judy  Mickey 

You can’t afford to cancel th thee show. Pull out of this this deal an and d you’l you’lll

Scre Screw w th thee money! oney! I’ll li live ve wi with thout out it. And sp spend end the rest re st of your li life fe in cour court. t. You’ve got got too many debts. deb ts.

Judy (in  (in disbelief ) there for weeks.

How can I have? I’ve been screaming scr eaming my lun lungs gs out

Mickey  That does n not ot wi wipe pe out ten years. T There’s here’s a list li st of staff deman demanding ding  back pay th that at is un unbeli believable. evable. You You h had ad every queer queer from here tto o San Francisco on your pay role. Judy  Mickey  Judy 

I neede needed d them them!! Wel elll you don’t need them any more. or e. Why not?

 

Mickey 

Because I can han handle dle all th that. at.

Judy  Oh sure you can. I loo look k li like ke a car wrec wreck k for Christ’s sake! You’re obviously not handling it very fucking well. Mickey 

Wel ell, l, maybe that’s bec because ause you  are such a fuck-up.  you are

Anthony 

For heaven’s sake, do you have to sw swear ear all the the time?! time?!

Judy/Mickey (in  (in unison) unison)

Fuck off!

Anthony  … Fine. I don’t need to li listen sten to this. this. II’l ’lll come back in two minutes to see if you’re done.

e leaves the room. Judy  … This whole th thing ing is a mess ess.. I shouldn’t have listened li stened to any of you. you. Six weeks in that damn hole. Didn’t they tell anyone here that vaudeville died a dozen years ago? Why is it my my responsibility  responsibility to bring it back from the dead? For God’s sake, we all got dragged through the funeral, so leave it at that. Let’s ust take the first ship out of here. Mickey 

No. We fini finish sh the run.

Judy  Wh What at th thee hell is th this is obsessi obse ssion on wi with th finishing things? things? Shows close, clo se, it happens. Mickey  Judy 

It’s not just a show. This is eve everything rything.. We don’t need it. Listen to me – ( He resis resists. ts.)) Listen – listen – 

She cups his face in her hands, pleading. We have each other. We’l We’lll get marr married ied and buy a small hou house se somewhere. A small house, sanybody omew ewhere here q quiet. uiet.we And rest. t. Y You oujust can the hold meofiin nus. y your our arcould ms – and e won’t tellsom where are.res It’ll be two Wearm bury

 

her, Mickey. We could put Judy Garland deep into the ground and never see her  again. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

We just can’t kill her. Everybody lov loves es her. her. I don’t wa want nt to be lov loved ed up th there ere.. I wa want nt to be lov loved ed down dow n here. You are are.. For God’s sake, we’ we’re re getting getting marr arried ied.. But who are ar e you marrying, ar rying, Mickey? Me or her?

Mickey (Grabb  (Grabbing ing her and looking l ooking into her eyes eyes)) you! Judy 

I gave up everything  for   for 

I’m sor sorry. ry.

Mickey  No, no – I’m not. You’r ou’ree the grea greatest test thing that eve everr happe happened ned in my shitty life. I love you. (They ( They embrace.) embrace.) It’s all going to be ok … I’ll make sure of o f th that. at. ( A pause.) pause. ) … Now – do you trust me? Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

… Yes es.. I mean, ea n, re real ally ly trust me? I do. … Wel elll then … We have tto o go bac back. k. And finis finish h the show. But … Judy – you have to. … No, Mickey – no, no. Judy!

 

Judy  No – I’m begging  you!  you! I am all sung all sung out  …  … I’m sorry, my angel. (Strong. Strong.)) I just can’t do it.

She breaks away from him. He is infuriated. He paces around the room, tormented by the situation. sit uation. Then he stops and looks at her. her. Mickey  … Alright Alr ight … Tel elll me what you – … Judy. Judy. (She looks at him.) him.) … Tell me what you want, I’ll get it for you. Judy 

… What?

Mickey  … You can ca n take whatever whatev er y you ou wa want, nt, so long as it gets you back bac k up there – What do you need? … Ritalin? Judy  Mickey  many? Judy 

You’ ou’ve ve sp spent ent the last la st month getti getting ng me off them. Yes es,, but … ( A beat.)  to finish the show. So – how beat. ) … You have have to

You’ve got some?

e goes to locate the pills which are well hidden elsewhere in the room. Her  attitude changes immediately and she gets hungry for the pills. pil ls. She crosses to him, her hand out ready. Judy 

Wel ell, l, I – (She stares at the bottle.) bottle.)

Mickey  You finis finish h the pr programm ogrammee from the fir first st half and then go stra straight ight into the second set. We still have to give them the full show, okay? Judy  … Okay … You’l ou’lll h have ave to let le t me go to my dres dr essi sing ng room roo m when we get there. In 15 minutes, I’m gonna want a piss … And I don’t want to do it half-way half-wa y th through rough ‘Ol’ M Man an River ’.

Mickey 

Fine.

 

e empties some pills into his hi s hand and counts out half a dozen. He pauses before giving them to her, uncertain again. Unable to wait, she grabs the ills out of his hands. And swallows a couple of them dry. As she does so , Anthony walks into the room. Anthony  So? ( He  He sees  sees Mickey and  Judy with the pills.) pills.) – What are you doing doi ng?? Mic Mickey key – what th thee hell are you – ?! Wh What at ar aree they?

She fetches herself a drink and swallows the re rest st of the t he tablets, one at a time. Mickey  Anthony  Mickey 

I kn know ow what I’m doi doing ng.. No, Mickey. Look, th there ere’s ’s no choice here – I’m res resolvi olving ng the the situ si tuation. ation.

Anthony  Oh, Oh, well wel l th that’s at’s real rea l gen genius. ius. This is tthe he great pla plan, n, is it? Drug Drugss to make her sing, make her dance – then a few more to get her down the aisle.

e crosses to her. Don’t Don ’t drin dri nk as we well. ll. e takes the glass gl ass from her and puts it down. Anthony  Mickey 

This is insanity. insanity. Why Why don’t we just cancel? cancel ? Because she needs th this is show.

Anthony  You mean mean you  you need  need it. This is your meal ticket. You’re here for  every penny you can get. Mickey  Anthony 

You don’t un under derstand stand this. Oh, don’t I? ( Heavy sarcasm.) sarcasm.) When’s your book coming out?

 

Mickey  Wil illl you give your your mouth a rest. re st. You have n no o idea id ea how how deep in the ditch she is. She’s got nothing! I’m all she has. Anthony 

And I thought thought less le ss than nothing nothing wasn’t wa sn’t pos possi sibl ble. e.

Mickey  Somebody  has to help her. You guys – you fags you fags –  – you just stand Somebody has  back and and watch! Anthony 

Oh, Oh, don’t be – 

Mickey  Wh What at th thee hell is it with wi th you people? peop le? The The more she she falls apart, the the more you adore her her.. Anthony 

That is not true, we – 

Mickey  It is is true.  true. You love all the misery. If she was found half dead in a gutter, you’d all come in your pants. Anthony  Don’t you dare dar e – you have no righ ri ght! t! We have given her everyth ev erything ing.. Shown her the kind kind of o f loyalty and devotion dev otion you couldn’t even dr dream eam of. Mickey  She does doesn’t n’t need ‘de ‘devotion’ votion’ you idiot. idi ot. She needs someone to rescue her. When I met her she was a fucking mess. I’m the guy that put her   back up up th there. ere. Anthony  Mickey  Anthony  Mickey  Anthony 

And you think that’s what she wants? wa nts? I kn know ow it is. You don’t kn know ow an anyth ything. ing. You’r ou’ree not re rem motely otel y what she needs. needs . An And d I suppose you are? are ? Yes. Because we’ we’ve ve alw always ays been there there for her her.. An And d we’ we’ll ll be

there there long after you’ve gone.

 

Mickey 

I got bad news for you. I’m not going anywhere anywhere..

Anthony (turning  (turning to her ) ant to do?

Judy – we do not  have  have to go back. What do you do you

She looks at  Mickey. He nods at her. her. Judy 

… I’m ready. re ady.

Anthony  Let me just say sa y that after what you’ve ttaken aken … If it goes wro wrong ng – I can’t bail you out. You’ll be on your own up there. Judy 

I’m always  on my own up there … always on

 Fade black out. Background noise of a band warming up and aud audience ience bustle.to blackout.

Scene Four  Lights rise r ise on a back sstage tage area at the Talk Talk of the t he T Town own venue. It is i s lit only by a small shaft of light. Enter the  the ASM, all in black. He is slightly, sl ightly, subtly camp, carries a walkie-talkie and looks l ooks panicked. ASM 

I’m lo looking, oking, Brian, Bri an, I’m lo looking! oking!

e crosses the stage and exits.  exits. Mickey appears, smoking a cigarette. Then Judy comes in from the opposite side. Her speech is slightly sl ightly slurr sl urred ed and her  eyes glazed over, but a volcano of nervous energy bubbles underneath. Mickey  Judy 

You take a pi piss ss?? Yes, bu butt don’t ask me where … Is th thee house house still ffull? ull?

 

Mickey  Yes, tthey hey’re ’re still waiting wai ting for you you.. You’re the the only one they’d they’d wa wait it for, Judy. ( He  He holds her. her.) Because you’re wonderful. Judy 

Oh. Thank you, dar darli ling ng..

Anthony  Mickey  Okay? Judy 

enters. I’ll be out th thee front. front. I’ll be th there ere with you every ever y sing si ngle le m mom oment. ent.

Yes.

Mickey 

I lov lovee you you..

e kisses her on the lips, in clear cl ear view of  Anthony. Judy 

I love you too.

Mickey 

I kn know ow you do.

e looks across to  to Anthony, then walks away. As he does so, the  the  ASM enters. ASM 

Oh my goodness – Miss Garl Garland! and! (Talking into i nto a walkie-talkie. walkie-talkie.)) I’ve

found her. She’s stage left. (T (To Judy.) Are you going straight on? Anthony 

just – give us a moment mor ore. e.

The  ASM looks at his stopwatch. The s topwatch. ASM 

No, Mr Chapman, Chapman, you real re ally ly need to go str strai aigh ghtt on.

Anthony (insistent   (insistent )

A moment – pl plea ease se..

The  ASM just The  just stands s tands tthere, here, waiting.

 

Judy (drily  (drily))

Can we get you a chair!?

The  ASM takes the hint and leaves. The Judy 

… He’s we weir ird. d. I th think ink he escaped esc aped from somewhere.

Anthony  Judy 

… How many di did d he give you?

Huh?

Anthony 

How many any pill  pillss did Mickey give you?

Judy  Pil Pills? ls? Darling Darli ng,, I haven’t taken any pil pills ls.. No, I’m just full full of ‘go’ tonight, I’m on a roll. I just wanna get back out there. They are a terrific

audience tonight. Aren’t they? And forgiving. Don’t you think? Anthony 

I don’t kn know. ow.

Judy  You don’t kn know ow?? Wel ell, l, you should turn around ar ound and look lo ok so som metim eti mes es.. There are people are people sitting  sitting out there.

She coughs. … Is there any water here, I’m very dry. Anthony  Judy 

Wasn’t as n’t there any in your ro room? om?

Oh I could couldn’t n’t find it.

Anthony 

Should Should have been on th thee table.

Judy  No, the room room –  – I couldn’t find the room! room! All  All I found was the fire  bucket.  buck et. Th This is pl place ace is a maze. maze. I m met et H Harry arry Houdini Houdini still trying trying to get get out. out. Anthony 

Judy – 

 

Judy 

What?

Judy 

You gotta! Wh Who o el else se is gonn gonnaa pl play? ay?

Anthony 

I know, I know, I just jus t – 

Judy  Darl Darling, ing, I love that that you care. car e. But But you should never let personal per sonal thing thingss affect your work. That’s unprofessional.

 – Now – you get out th there ere and start playing playing.. We start hearing the audience doing a slow hand-clap. Anthony  Judy 

No. If th this is is th thee only way wa y I can protec protectt you – no.

I don’t need protec protecting ting – not out th there ere..

The  ASM appears again, stopwatch in hand. The Anthony (re  (referring ferring to the audience audience))

Listen to them them..

Judy  … Fuck ’em. I’ll g get et ’em back. They don’t sca scare re me. me. This is my house. You come and play for me – okay? Anthony  Judy 

I don’t think I can.

Liste Listen n to me, Anthony – 

She takes his hand. Are you listening to me? Anthony 

Yes.

Judy  Wh When en we go on stage, that’s – that’s our  time  time together. You and me. It’s just us. You know … The plain truth is that … I need you, my darling. I

 

always have. Not just at the piano – no, no, I mean – I need you … in my life … Am I making sense? (To ( To the  the ASM.) Am I making … What the hell am I asking you for? ( Back to  to Anthony.) … Come on – let’s go. Let’s go – together   – and finish finish th thee show show.. W Wee have have to  to finish the show. She then gives a signal to the  the ASM. ASM 

(into the walkie talkie as he exits) Thirty seconds, she’s ready.

The drumming drumming that marks the beginning of the t he coming song now begins. Judy immediately moves to her position on the Talk of the Town stage. usic begins. Lighting change.

Transition into inton o concert sequence – with with  Judy drugged and dangerous, a erformance the edge. SONG ‘COME RAIN OR COME SHINE’  t the end of the song – blackout.

Scene Five  Lights rise r ise on tthe he hotel room. room. Judy is asleep on the t he settee, covered in a variety of bed sheets.  sheets. Mickey is at the piano, tinkering at the keys, playing a ew notes of gentle impr improvised ovised jazz music. She begins to wake. Judy  Mickey  Judy 

Oh god … oh God … Judy? I’m gonna chuck up.

 

Mickey  Judy 

Do you need the bathro bathroom? om? I feel terrible terri ble … Argh! Argh!

She suddenly feels a sharp pain iin n her stomach, bends double in agony. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy 

It It’s ’s alrig alri ght ht,, it’ll pass. I feel terrible terribl e … Really terribl terrible. e. I’ll get you some pil pills, ls, th they’ll ey’ll per perk k you up. My throat’s throat’s so dry – I need a dri drink nk..

e fetches her a glass of water. Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

You sure you don’t need the bathro bathroom? om? I’ve never been th this is bad, never. My head is screaming scr eaming.. Give it half an hour. hour. … Did we finish th thee show? Yes. es . They lo loved ved you. … How many di did d I take? … I wa wasn’t sn’t counting counting..

She looks over at him, frightened for a mom moment. ent. He counts out three tablets rom ro m one of the bottles. Mickey  Judy 

Take a few of these. They’ll fix you up. No. I don’t wa want nt them. them.

 

Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

You wi will ll.. I’ll just rest. Ok Okay ay.. I’ll lea leave ve th them em here.

e deposits the pill bottl bottlee in her clear view and close to hand. A Again, gain, she reacts rea cts to a sharp pain in her stomach. Mickey  Just breath brea the, e, breathe bre athe … It’ll pass … You should take these these n now. ow. Come on …

e helps raise her to a sitting sit ting position and then forcibly feeds feeds  Judy with the ills. Judy  Mickey 

… Don’t lo lose se track of these thing things. s. T Too oo m many any can kill you, you know. know. I know.

e makes her drink some water. Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

You’re clear on th that, at, ri righ ght? t? It can give y you ou a seizu sei zure, re, you you can –  I know. … Oh God. I didn’t did n’t ever want you to see m mee like li ke this. this. That’s okay. okay. I knew knew what I was wa s buying into. … And And stil stilll you want to stay? Of course I do. They all g go o eventu eventuall ally y. Once Once th they ey reali rea lise se I’m just a frail old lad lady y. Not me.

 

Judy  That That’s ’s what drove drov e Sid away. away. The sadness … Oh God – my head … Honey – could you get me some ice?

There is a knock on the door. He opens it.  it.  Anthony is standing st anding there. there. Mickey 

She does doesn’t n’t wa want nt to see you you..

Anthony  Mickey 

I’m just checking that she’s al alri righ ght. t. She’s fine.

Anthony  Mickey 

Are you sure? I’m sure. Goodbye.

e is just closing cl osing the door on him w when hen she calls out. Judy 

Is that Anthony? Anthony! Anthony!

Mickey 

opens the door again, reluctantly.

Anthony 

Yes, es , it’s me.

She holds her hand out towards him and  Anthony enters the room. He embraces her.  her. Mickey stares  stares at them the m for a moment, then finds a reason to o. Mickey 

… I’ll get th thee ice. ice .

Mickey 

leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Judy 

Anthony – 

Anthony  Judy 

Yes.

I wa want nt you to help me wi with th something. something.

 

Anthony  Judy 

Anything.

I need to get over tto o th thee window wi ndow – help me up.

e helps her to her feet.  Now stay th there. ere. Don Don’t ’t move. move. She crosses to tthe he window. window. Anthony 

What What are ar e you doing doi ng??

She proceeds to throw the pills out of the window, a few at a time.

Judy … Feeding Feedi–ngand th thee the pigeons. a look in half an hour hour – half wi will ll be doing  cartwheels rest inTaake coma.

She makes herself laugh, but the t he laughter becomes tears and pain. … I’m never never takin taking g th these ese again. Not eve ever. r. (She (She turns to him.) him.) Does that make you happy? Anthony 

More th than an you reali rea lise. se.

e goes over to the window and sits on the ledge besi beside de her. her. Judy 

You we were re told to stay th there ere..

Anthony  Oh, Oh, since when have I ever listened li stened to you you?? … I think think you should  phonee and cancel  phon cancel the shows shows righ r ightt n now. ow. Judy 

Oh, I – I don’t think I can. Mickey doesn’t doe sn’t wa want nt me to.

Anthony  Judy 

Never mind what Mickey want wa nts. s.

… It’s It’s only a few more sh shows ows.. And And then then … we’l we ’lll settle into a little li ttle

 

house, and have a most wonderful marriage. is head drops. … You don’t approve …? Anthony 

Of course I don’t.

Judy  Oh, he’s not so bad. bad . He’s my pr protec otector. tor. He’s youn young g and he’s handsome  – and he he loves me. It’ It’ss a m miracl iracle. e. Anthony 

That’s That’s one word wor d for it.

Judy  You’ll see. We’r e’ree going to have a wonderfu wonder full wed wedding ding – here in London. In Chelsea. You’ll come along. Anthony 

No, I won’t.

Judy  Yes, you wil will. l. I’ll let you be brides bridesm maid. And And we’l we’lll have a reception at Quaglino’s. It will be full of stars – Bette Davis, Veronica Lake, Lana Turner, Ginger Rogers –  Anthony  Judy 

None of th them em wi will ll come.

What?

Anthony  None of th them em wi will ll be th there ere,, Judy. Judy. They don’t wa want nt to see y you ou making a fool of yourself.

She slaps his face – and breaks away from him. She heads back to the sofa. Judy 

You should be happy for me!

Anthony 

Why? Why? When When he’s not rem re motel otely y righ ri ghtt for you in any way wa y. He’ll He’ ll

never give you what you n need. eed.

 

Judy 

Wh Which ich is? is ?

Anthony 

Love. Unconditio nconditional nal love. love .

e approaches app roaches her her.. … Which is what I’m what I’m offering  offering you. Judy 

You?

e sits next to t o her on the sofa. Anthony  … I’ll care for you you.. You’ll never never do any anyth thing ing you don’t wa want nt to. You’ll come and live with me … I’m not wealthy, but – I have enough. I can

give piano have money put awaybecause for a rainy day.sitAnd in Brighton, e get lots lessons of thoseand … IBut it doesn’t matter, we can inside. There’s a big bay window, and it’s so beautiful – you can watch the waves crashing in as the rain drums on the roof and – it’s warm … and comfortable … just sitting there looking out at the world. Judy 

… Don’t you get bore bored? d?

Anthony  Yes! es ! It’s wo wonder nderful. ful. We’d e’ d fil filll the day with wi th nothing. nothing. We’d e’ d co cook  ok  food and read trashy magazines and go for walks. Judy 

Oh Oh,, I don’t wa walk lk – people peop le follo follow w me.

Anthony  Judy 

But you you’l ’lll be happy happy.. So peop people le won’t rec recogn ognis isee you. you.

If I’m on a pi pier er in the rain, ra in, they fucking fucking well we ll better.

Anthony  … You’ll never reach rea ch for pil pills ls or drow drown n yourse yourself lf in whisky whisky.. You’ll never need to sing … Well – maybe just for good friends late at night. And I’ll spend every hour of every day looking after you. Judy 

It soun so unds ds … Wel ell, l, it – 

 

Anthony 

I’m a wonder wonderfu full cook. Do you like li ke shepherd’s pie? pie ?

Judy  I love shepherd’s pie. pie . And And what’s th that at thing thing with wi th the the frogs and the the sausages –? Anthony  Judy 

… Oh – toad in th thee hole. I can do that. that.

Wil illl you show me?

Anthony 

Yes.

Judy  I’d love y you ou to show me. I’ve hardly ever cooked, it takes too long –  there there aare re TV shows shows to record … Anthony 

Sometimes Sometimes I cook th thee whole day day.. Make Make a feast.

Judy  But all th that at cleari cle aring ng up. When When I made pan pancakes cakes once, it wa wass like li ke armageddo armag eddon n in there. Anthony  Judy 

Can we we??

Anthony  Judy 

Yes, we can afford th that. at. She can come in whil whilee we we’re ’re asleep asleep..

In the sam sa me … Would we slee sl eep p in the sa sam me …?

Anthony  Judy 

It doesn’t does n’t matter, we can have a maid. aid .

I haven’t real re ally ly thoug thought ht about abo ut that.

No, I don’t suppose you have.

Anthony  Well … th there ere – won’t be many firew fireworks orks in that that departm depa rtment. ent. But But you won’t miss it. You’ll be too happy to notice. Judy 

Do you think?

 

Anthony  … Well ell,, if you you’re ’re desperate, desper ate, I’m sure we could find someone at the end of the pier.

e takes both her hands and looks earnestly into her eyes. … Listen … Don’t marry Mickey. Don’t marry that awful  man.  man. Come away ith me. Let me look after you … Let me love you … othing happens for a moment. Then, the door opens and  Mickey comes back into the ro room, om, carrying a small bucket of ice. He looks at both of tthem. hem. Mickey 

Wh What’s at’s going on? … Judy?

Judy (after  (after a moment ) Nothing … Nothing – we were we re just … Anthony Anthony and I – ( Full  Full of sorrow s orrow,, but resolute. resolute.)) we w e were w ere ju j ust sayin saying g ‘goodbye’. ‘goodbye’.

She turns away from  from Anthony, fight  fighting ing back the t he tears. tears . He is devastated. devastat ed.  fter a moment, he gets up and moves to the t he door door,, and exits. exit s. Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

… How are you feeling feeli ng?? Oh … God know knowss … We should tthink hink abo about ut something to eat. Y You ou need to be getting

ready rea dy.. Y You’ve ou’ve got a show in five hours. hours. Judy 

Do you think they’re still sti ll expec expecting ting me?

Mickey  Of course course.. They hate it when you fall down, but they they love lov e watchin wa tching g you get back up again. That’s what you do. Judy 

That’s who I am …

Mickey ( seeing her he r sadness sadness))

Hey, Hey, don’t loo look k so … It’s It’s nearly over.

She looks at him and nods, forces a smile.

 

Mickey  for you. Judy  Mickey 

… It’s al alll for you, Judy Judy.. You kn know ow that, that, righ ri ght? t? It’s only ever eve r bee been n

… I’m col cold. d. You’re in Eng England land – what did you you expect? – I’ll find find a bla blank nket. et.

e heads towards the bedroom. Judy 

No – just …

e stops, realising she just wants to be held in his arms. He does this, embracing her warmly.

Mickey  Judy 

Better? Better.

e kisses her forehead forehead.. Mickey  … I th think ink a few chang changes es would be a g good ood thin thing. g. I gu guess ess to start we need a new piano player? Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey  Judy  Mickey 

I th think ink per perhaps haps we do.  I  could  could play for you. How’s that for an idea? … Well ell,, it’s an idea ide a … Trust me, th thing ingss will wi ll be a lot eas easier ier without that that guy guy around. I li like ke Anthony. Anthony. There’s a lot of th things ings you li like ke th that at aren’t are n’t good for you you..

e releases the embrace and gets up.

 

… Why don’t you get dressed? Then we can go out and eat somewhere. Judy 

‘Somewhere’ ‘Somewhere’?? Oh I tried trie d th that at once – I didn’t like li ke it.

Mickey ( smiling ) Judy  Mickey 

That’s funny funny.

Yeah, I’m a regular vaudevi vaudevill llian ian … When When I wa wass –  (cutting her off ) Stop speaking now. Rest your voice. Okay?

e now heads into the bedroom. Judy 

Okay. ( A  After  fter  Mickey’s exit. exit.)) … What else is there to say anyway …?

 Lights nowa start st art gent gently ly fading fadion  ng Anthony down on as thehescene. WhenThe mid-way to blackout, spotlight rises on re-enters. song ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ begins to play gently in the background, solo piano. It  underscores underscor es all tthe he dialogue that foll follows. ows.  Anthony speaks  speaks directly di rectly to the t he audience. Though Though this speech is narrative, it must still be identifiably Anthony who is speaking, fully in character  Anthony  Judy marr arried ied Mickey Deans at Chelsea Registry Off Office ice on 15 March 1969 … Just three months later, on 22 June, at her home in London –  Judy died. She had taken an overdose of sedatives. Seconal capsule

 barbiturates – ten ten ttim imes es th thee dose. She was forty forty-seven. -seven. The light fades out on  on Judy. Anthony  … Her New York fu funeral neral wa wass pai paid d for by Frank Sinatra, and James Mason deli de liver vered ed the eulogy eulogy.. The mourners mourners included Cary Grant, Samm Sammy y Davis, Jr., Dean Martin and Audrey Hepburn … and twenty thousand people filed past the coffin … Also present, was the last of her five husbands, Mickey Deans. And, at the back – a small handful of piano players … I was just one of  them.

The light on  on Anthony fades  fades down as theq t heq  Radio Interviewer appears on

 

 stage, dimly di mly lit. lit . A spot ri rises ses gently gent ly on on  Judy. They continue the radio interview from Act One. The piano music continues as underscoring. Radio Interviewer  And final finally ly – Judy, Judy, you’ve been bee n si sing nging ing on stage and film since you were a child. Your entire life. Do you ever think there’ll come a time when you’ll stop singing? Judy  Well ell,, you know, know, I don’t rea reall lly y si sing ng for myself. I do it for oth other er peopl people. e. And the minute the public don’t want me to sing – then, that will be the end. Radio Interviewer  A day day,, I’m sure, th that at will wi ll never never com come. e. And And for those those unlucky enough not to see Judy Garland at the Talk of the Town, here’s a couple of tracks from your wonderful recordings. Each of them a classic, to ensure that that you will wil l llive ive for ever. Judy  Wel ell, l, you know, know, imm immor ortal tality ity would wo uld be very ver y nice … Yes es,, I’d like li ke that … Immortality might just make up for everything …

lackout on the  the Radio Interviewer, who exits. The spotlight now rises fully on  Judy. She begins to sing, with  on with Anthony (dimly  (dimly lit in the distance) accompanying accom panying her at the t he piano. SONG ‘SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW’  She begins at the lyric ‘Some day I’ll wish upon a star’.  During the section se ction o off the so song ng that iiss music only (no lyrics) lyrics),, a light rises on Mickey, watching her. She looks at him and then at  Anthony. Then lights ade out on both men, so that only  only Judy is lit. She sings the final part of the  song. The play-out play- out music ffor or the son song g is play played ed by the full f ull band, building bui lding to to a crescendo. crescendo. The spotlight closes in ttightly ightly on on  Judy’s fac face, e, as tthe he music ends. Blackout. Curtain.

 

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