Employee of the Month

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For successfully SUCKING DOWN the latest management directives, misdirectives, lack of directives, fibs, fiddlings, and flakeouts; for SUCKING UP to all appropriate

entities in ways not unusually distasteful; and for NOT OBVIOUSLY SUCKING in any respect important to superiors—

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For ATTACKING, with specified and appropriate ferocity, all designated goals, as

well as anyone or anything in the way of said goals, including those who might

have considered themselves teammates—

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Let this HONOR serve to publicize the accomplishments of one who has attracted attention, provoked opinion, and excited strong feelings; and let this PUBLICITY

inspire others—perhaps those who consider themselves teammates—to envision, develop, and deliver an appropriate REWARD to—

Employee of the Month

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Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. By Allen Varney. Find more certificates, forms, and dubious honors at www.ninjalistics.com