David Shade - The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk

THE ART OF SEXY

DIRTY TALK

DAVID SHADE

Table of Contents Track 1 The Art Of Sexy Dirty Talk Track 2 It Is The Man's Job Track 3 Fantasies Track 4 The Steps To Take In The Bedroom Track 5 The Proper Use Of Words Track 6 The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk Teleseminar Track 7 The Word Command Is a Very Sexy Word Track 8 Simultaneous Orgasms And The Threesome Track 9 Come On The Count Of 10 Track 10 The Mind Set For Dirty Talk Track 11 Getting Her To Talk Dirty Track 12 When To Start Dirty Talk Track 13 Sensing When She Is Ready Track 14 Knowing That She Won't Be Offended

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Track 1 The Art Of Sexy Dirty Talk

DAVID: Hi, this is David Shade. Welcome to my teleseminar on "The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk. First let's define Promiscuous women and Sensual women: Promiscuous is a validation to make up for some void in her life, usually self esteem. Many men interpret that as sexy. But many men are horny, not sexual. But for a sensual woman, she responds most powerfully to the mental aspects involved in sex. She requires a man who can make sex much more than the physical by incorporating mental. A man who can make it mentally stimulating. Then lets define Physical sex and Sexuality: Good looks and nice physique are great, but only take a man so far. If that is the only thing the man has to offer, a highly sexual woman will eventually tire of it. A truly sexual woman is a woman who incorporates her entire mind. She uses her imagination. She likes creativity, she likes playing, and she likes role playing. She needs to feel powerful feelings as well as the sex. Actually, for her, sex is only a part of it all. It is all the imagination and fantasy and creativity and mental aspects that makes the sex incredible for her. It is important to learn Sexy Dirty Talk because: Most women are sexually submissive. Almost all women are at times sexually submissive. It is in those times that she wants to get lost in it all and be lead through a sexual experience where the man assumes all responsibility for what happens. This releases her from the need to initiate anything and the need to become a "slut" in order for her to have the experience. She wants to do sluty things, and feel sluty, without BEing a slut. His leading her through it gives her permission to feel this. When he takes the initiative it is his responsibility and his idea, so she goes along with it because he told her to, and it just happens to be something that she wants to do. But she would never initiate it herself, www.Masterful-Lover. com

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because that would define her as a slut, and is counter to her being submissive. At the same time, her being told what to do is congruent to her being submissive. Many men feel uncomfortable about talking dirty in the bedroom. That is because such men think she will take it wrong, or that some men are not comfortable with being in control. A man needs to be comfortable with the fact that she is a sexual woman. A man needs to understand that anything he says in the context of heightened sexual arousal will be taken in a completely different context. That context is one of being in the moment, of her being lead through an experience, of her being sexually submissive, and him taking the lead and responsibility. The important context here is a sexual situation and of consensual sexual power exchange. He is leading and she is doing what she is told. When done properly, she will respond powerfully to it. If sexy dirty talk is new to a man, he cannot let her know that. She will detect it, and it will backfire. He must be totally congruent; everything must be totally congruent with him being in charge. He must do everything with absolute conviction. He must be totally believable. SUZANNE: Dirty talk during sex is very important for most women. Once, years ago, I was dating a guy who had not yet initiated dirty talk in the bedroom. So, one night, while we were doing it, I said to him "Oh yeah, fuck your bitch!" He stopped cold and said "You're not a bitch!" It was an instant turn off to me. I never called him again.

Track 2 It Is The Man's Job

DAVID: It is the man's job to set it up such that she can be sexually excited. He needs to set up the buildup. Once he builds it up, the sky is the limit. He can tell her to do anything and she will do it. And especially because he tells her to do it. That is especially exciting for her. It is one of the many ways that a woman pleases her man, by demonstrating her responsiveness to him. There is a difference between dirty talk and raunchy talk. Raunchy talk turns off all women. It reeks of horny. It cheapens the act. It is degrading. It is contradictory to having respect for her as an individual. She could not possibly respond to it, because to do so would define her as a slut, cheap, and loose. And it puts the man in 2

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the category of "most men." It takes away from the "uniqueness" of him. SUZANNE: In my experience, there are three types of men: horny men, Androgynous men, and Sensual men. Horny men are cavemen who just want to get off. They are just looking for a woman to masturbate inside of. They often brag about their sexual prowess. It is a turn off to women. If a man is good at something, he never brags about it. He lets her find out for herself. Androgynous men do nothing for a woman sexually. They are devoid of sexuality. They are no threat. Almost childlike. They are harmless. No woman takes them sexually seriously. No woman feels excitement from them. Sensual men: Women respect him because she knows she may get lost in it all, she may loose control, she may end up doing things she may have been apprehensive to do. She knows she will succumb to him. He creates intrigue and interest in her for him. She goes home and thinks about him all the time. He is mysterious but not deceiving. He lets out a little bit at a time. He lets her taste a little more each time, but never all at once. You may ask "What is a sexual man?" A man who caters to her mind. He fucks her mind, not just her body. A girlfriend once told me, "The man that gets me is the man that can fuck my mind."

Track 3 Fantasies

DAVID: This only applies to the bedroom. The high self esteem woman does not want to succumb to anyone in her day to day life. She is just fine and in control herself, thank you. This is only in the bedroom. In the bedroom you can say to your woman: "Suck my cock bitch!" and she will gladly serve you, but in the living room, being subservient is degrading and a complete turn off. A man cannot say to his woman in the kitchen "Wash my dishes bitch!" It is in the sexual connotation that it is exciting. It is not exciting when you say stuff like that while out shopping.

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But there are specific exceptions to that, such as when you are mentally putting her into a sexual state of mind and describing a fantasy of what she is going to do to you when you two get back home. Here is a letter that was written by a woman to a book author: "On our third date we went to a museum, and while we were walking around, he started whispering things in my ear about how he'd like to tie me up and how he'd like to spank me right there in the museum and let everybody see me with my skirt pulled up and how much I'd probably enjoy exposing myself because I was a naughty little slut. I almost ran out of the museum. But I wanted to hear more, even though I was horrified. Now that I look back I realize that I was horrified because he was saying exactly what I wanted to hear. I didn't want to believe that a nice girl - whatever 'nice' means - could want to do things like that. Before I knew it, I kept going out with him, because I really liked him as a person. And he was great in bed. He was teaching me things that I had only fantasized about before. Some of them I hadn't even fantasized about." So, you can see how powerful it can be to introduce a woman to a fantasy that she has never imagined for herself. But you can also make use of her existing fantasies. Outside of the bedroom, while in a relaxed honest state, such as talking on the couch, make her tell you a fantasy she has had but has never told anyone else. An Intelligent Sensual man knows she will be shy, and will lead her through the experience. He knows she is reluctant to tell him so that he does not think she is sluty. He will always show full acceptance and appreciation for any fantasy she brings up. Make sure you talk to her about these delving things outside of the bedroom, not in the bedroom, because in the bedroom is not the place for questions or delving, it is the place for action. When you learn something new about her sexually, don't go and do that right away. Then it seems like she told you to do it. Instead, tuck that information away for use at a later time. At a later time, make use of that knowledge you have about her, such as making that fantasy real for her. Also, talking about fantasies, a very powerful thing you can do is, when you ask her for one of her fantasies, you can tell her "I don't want to put you on the spot right now. I want you to just think about it when you are alone. And the next time we are together, I want you to tell me then." This makes her think about it when she is alone and it makes her even more excited about it, and about you.

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When she can't even concentrate at work, when she is all giddy and silly. It's like she's being bad even when she's not supposed to be. It's all in fun. It's the kind of thing that makes a woman wildly crazy for her man. Now let's talk about what happens in the bedroom. First of all, women usually don't initiate sex, she likes it when her man initiates it. But the intelligent sensual man sees the signs she is giving out that she is interested. Her not initiating sex does not mean she is not wanting it. Again, most women are sexually submissive. The intelligent sensual man does not ask for permission, because that puts the responsibility into her hands, which she doesn't want. The intelligent sensual man knows that his woman wants it. He also sets things up so that she WILL be interested. Foreplay goes on all day.

Track 4 The Steps To Take In The Bedroom

To set up an interaction with her, is to not seem like her man is in any kind of hurry. He is not in a hurry to get off. It is not even important to him from her perspective. That is the number one thing that will differentiate him from all the horny guys. She needs to know that his main goal is not about getting off, but it is about him leading her into pleasure she has never known. Examples: Light a candle, and say to her: "Baby, undress slowly for me so I can watch you undress." Say sexy things like "I love to adore your body. You are beautiful to me." All this time you are still completely dressed. She is still standing. Then lightly touch her, non sexually. Then press her against the wall and hold her hands above her head and make out with her. Then tell her to get on the bed. Tell her how you adore the view of her on your bed. Then say to her: "You are a sweet precious innocent beautiful thing." Then get close to her and make your voice deep and say "But I know that really, you are my very naughty little girl." This whole process is slow. Each step takes time. Lead her through the experience of becoming completely vulnerable to you. Lead her into a place where she is totally naked to you in every way. Very powerful.

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Go back and forth between sweet, sexy, and dirty. It is not like you are trying to get the pussy, it is about how you revel in all of it. She has to feel beautiful, sexy, and sensual, but can also feel sluty. It is the shock of that dichotomy that makes it exciting for her and allows things to be lead into an even higher level. It is extremely erotic in the moment of the experience. And then, as you get undressed and get more sexual with her, say things like: "Oh yeah, I love it when your nipples get hard." Then while you are touching her pussy, say "Oh yeah, you are getting very wet. I know you want it. You wanna get fucked." And then, while you are fucking her, say to her: "Oh yeah Baby, you love it when I fuck you. You are my very naughty little bitch, and you love it when I fuck you like the bitch that you are." It is important that you first call her your bitch, because then it puts it all into the context that it is about her being sluty for you, and not about her being a slut. Then say "Oh yeah Baby, you are being very naughty. That makes you want to come. You wanna come so fucking bad." And right before she comes, you say "Oh yeah, you are being a very naughty little bitch, but I want you to show me how good you can come for me Baby. Come like a good girl. Come for me Baby girl." After she comes, tell her to get on her hands and knees. Fuck her from behind while you hold her hair in your fists, and say to her: "Oh yeah Baby, you love it when I fuck you hard. You love it when I fuck you like the naughty little slut that you are." Do not talk about your own pleasure during sex because it may distract her concentration from her own pleasure. You want her to concentrate on her own pleasure so that she will have a very powerful orgasm. Her orgasm is of utmost importance. However, once that happens, then you CAN talk about her pleasing you, as it may server to excite her even more. While she is on her hands and knees, treat her like a piece of property, and fuck her from behind while you hold her hair in your fists, and say to her: "Oh yeah Baby, you love it when I use you to get off. You're my little cum slut. You wanna make me cum so fucking

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hard. Fuck me hard like the bitch that you are." That is very exciting for a woman, and sometimes servers to get her off again quickly. But only do that if she has already gotten off at least once.

Track 5 The Proper Use Of Words

Now, a few words about words. In the bedroom, use terms like pussy and cock, do not use proper anatomical terms like vagina and penis. That would only make her laugh. And certainly do not use funny terms like "Willy the one eyed wonder worm." Similarly, in the living room, use proper anatomical terms like penis and vagina, do not use cock and pussy. That would be vulgar. Everything in context. As for terms you call her. In the living room, call her Baby, or whatever. Do not call her bitch. But in the bedroom, in the context of heightened sexual arousal, call her your bitch, or slut. But never ever call her a cunt, or any other term that she despises, or it will break her out of state. There are many other ideas for opportunities to use dirty talk. The "remote control egg" is an excellent example of that. That was a fun one. Another example is taking her shopping for sexy underwear, and then while you two are out at the night club, and she is wearing the sexy underwear, whisper a fantasy into her ear, about how it makes her feel very sexy to be in that sexy underwear. And then get into a place or a position where nobody can see it when you slide your hand in and start touching her while you tell her "Everybody sees you as being a very proper woman, but really, I know, that on the inside, you are being a very naughty little girl." Again, all of this must be done with absolute conviction. It must be totally believable and purposeful. Now let's talk about pillow talk. What you do and say right after having sex is very important. You must reassure her that you see her as a beautiful innocent creature, and especially that you respect her for the unique individual that she is. This is very important, because you do not want her to have remorse for what has happened. It must be remembered in good light, so that it can be enjoyed again. Say this to her: "Oh Baby, you make me feel so close to you. I just can't hold you close enough."

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Then point out something about her that you really adore. Women love things that men point out in her that he likes in her, that no other man notices, especially horny men. For example, if she has big breasts, don't tell her how much you love her tits. Instead, tell her you adore how her waist curves in, in such a feminine way. Then talk about deep emotional feelings that are very important to you. This lets her know that now that you two have had incredible sex, that you are open to being emotionally communicative. Women love that. It is the life essence of a successful relationship. Reward her good behavior by giving of your true self.

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Track 6 The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk Teleseminar David:

Hi, this is David Shade, and welcome to my teleseminar on "The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk." Today, I am pleased to have a special guest speaker, Bob, in Ontario. Bob e-mailed me and had very good luck with dirty talk and a number of other things and I wanted him to talk to us "Hey Bob, how ya doing?"

Bob

I'm doing great David. Thanks for inviting me.

David

Well thanks for being on; I really appreciate that. Now, when did you get started with my products and how did things go for you before you learned about them and after you started this?

Bob

Well, you are my "ace in the hole" because I had been married for many years and then I was not married and then I was nervous about getting back into the dating scene. And I met a girl and if I hadn't had you stuff it probably would have gone very, very differently but, because, you know, I hadn't been with a new girl in about 15 years. And the first night all I did was the deep spot technique, which I had read on your website and she had this crazy, shuddering orgasm that went on for about 5 or 6 minutes that almost tore my wrist off.

David

Naaa.

Bob

And I thought "that's pretty good." I've bought a lot of information products and some of them work a bit, some work a lot, and some don't seem to work but that worked pretty good.

David

Excellent. Alright, so, after 15 years of marriage, being with the same woman, you got back into the dating scene, you were with a new woman and you did the deep spot on her and she had an orgasm that went on for many minutes. Ah, what was her previous experience with orgasms, had she had vaginal orgasms before?

Bob

Yea, but she, herself, had not been with anyone in 3 years so the pent up demand was there on both sides. But, yea, she was a person who can orgasm but I think that her experience was that some guys don't get her there or some guys get her there once in a while; it's not easy to get there. There's a little bit of luck that's involved or she's got to be totally in the mood or whatever. She www.Masterful-Lover. com

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doesn't always get there. So, she was very appreciative of having a number of orgasms in one session. David

Alright, so, you guys continued dating and how did it go?

Bob

It was really good because it was...We just had really, really powerful sessions. The turning point for me was when I commanded her to orgasm and when I, you know, did a dirty talk session over the phone it just set up the whole thing so well. It set up the conditions where she was like her subconscious mind had this green light waiting for me once I had, sort of, set it up. And I didn't realize how well this was gonna work but the moment I said to her do you want me to give you an orgasm something is her just goes "yea" and she's totally now looped into the expectation that I can do it. And it's only her that can make me be able to do it; she's the only one, in her own mind, that can believe it and let it happen. All I had to do was be commanding and believing and present and the power of the words just took over.

Davis

Alright, you said that she had to believe that she would be able to have an orgasm. Now a lot of women would have a self-limiting belief that they would not be able to do that. How did you set it up. to where when you said your going to have an orgasm she would believe she would have an orgasm?

Bob

Yea, I wouldn't say that to a woman in the first 20 minutes of getting together. She had to already see me as someone who already could, as you like to put it, expand her sexual envelope or whatever. And she'd experience that because she had that very, very long, shattering orgasm and she actually said to me "I feel like you have a blueprint of the inside of my body," something like that. So, she was saying to me, you know, "you the man, you the man." So, from there, if I say to her "do you want me to give you an orgasm?" She would "yea," so she believes that I can do it.

Track 7 The Word Command Is a Very Sexy Word David

Bob

Ok, so, doing the deep spot on her and giving her a very powerful, 5-minute long, vaginal orgasm, she believed that you had a "blue print" to her body. She believed that you were capable of making her feel the things she had always wanted to feel. And thus, she took what you said seriously and she was able to respond to that. That 5-minute orgasm was the convincer for her. Right.

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David

That you could then do other things to her.

Bob

Right.

David

Excellent! You two got on the phone and you told her, "I'm going to give you...

Bob

This was not on the phone; this was when we we're together. Although, we had done a dirty talk session over the phone. And I was surprised by how ready, able, willing she was to do that. And how she sort of knew what the procedure was. All I said to her was, you know, "that was really the great the other day" and she was "yea." And I said "I wish I was there right now." "Yea" and I was like "ok, locked and loaded and ready."

David

Alright, when you were together with her in person you would say to her "do you want to have an orgasm?"

Bob

That's right.

David

Alright, she knew...

Bob

And the word command, you know, the word command is a very, very sexy word. I'm just giving you feedback based on my limited application, but my very successful application. But I'm looking at a woman I'm attracted to a woman, we're engaged, we're doing stuff. I'm looking in her face, looking in her eyes, and I say the word command and there's a visible "growl," you know, there's a quality in there's like "command me. That's what I want. Finally a guy who knows what I want. I want to be commanded."

David

Hmm, excellent! Alright, so, when you two are in the bedroom and you said "you want to have an orgasm?' and then how did you use the word command?

Bob

I said to her I'm going to count down from 10 to 1 and then I'm going to give you the command. And then I said "ok" and she said "yea." And the command is "come now!" And she went "ok" and I say "ok." Then I counted down just like hypnotic induction, I interspersed in 10, 9, 8,1 would say a few words like "we're getting closer," "wait for me," "don't," and "blah, blah, blah," and then" one, come now." And then I said her name "come now!" and I said her name and that was very powerful. Another thing that you had said on the tape is you can delay the orgasm by saying "I'm almost there," "come now," "I'm almost there, "keep coming" (laughs).

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David

Yea.

Bob

It's a very, very good trick.

David

Ok, so you would do that during intercourse?

Bob

I would actually give the impression, I would give the impression of I'm about to come to so just stay with me for a minute and naturally she would be able to do that because it seems like a reasonable expectation in that moment. You create the conditions where she can believe that without too much critical analysis "yea, why couldn't I add 5 seconds on to my orgasm?" And she just does, but if you were to say to her sitting in the kitchen "hey do you think you could jump into the middle of an orgasm and put in a command and extend it for 5 to 10 seconds?" "Gee I don't know it sounds like advanced algorithmic something, how could I do that?" But in the moment, the right words, the right timing, it definitely happens.

David

Excellent! So using the right words, the right timing, in the right context, you were able to extend her orgasm.

Bob

Right.

Track 8 Simultaneous Orgasms And The Threesome Bob

Now, more recently, you know, I'm with another woman now. We're dating, or going out, or whatever you want to say. And she is very, very good at being commanded. So much so that in one session I could just literally say to her do you want to have an orgasm? "Yea" then I'd give her one then "would you like another one?" "Ok," I'll give her another one and then ok let's come together and then we can come together. And there's this whole romantic aura around coming together first of all this particular woman is quite experienced and she'd only ever experienced it once or twice and totally by accident. So now we're having this thing called simultaneous orgasm every time we get together and, you know, she loves that and it's really great. But actually there is something really powerful about simultaneous orgasm because when you are both coming at the same time it just seems to trigger all this super-duper flaring of intense, um, sensation for both of you. You feed off each other and you keep on cranking up to a higher level. So, and it's not hard to do it because once you can say to her "come now" and she comes now then you just say "command me back" while I'm doing 10 to 1 you do the same thing; and what's good for www.Masterful-Lover. com 12

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the goose is good for the gander, it works just as well for me as it does for her. David

Oh, very good. So you taught her how to do it right back to you, which worked.

Bob

Right.

David

Which gave her even more confidence that it works. And she gets to do it on you, which gets her even more involved with it.

Bob

Right, but I maintain command in this way that I say to her "do you want one" she says "yea" Then if she say" come with me" I say not yet a little later, you know? I let you know when I'm ready to let you command me.

David

Oh, very good (laughs). You're not going to let her be the dominatrix. You're going to keep running the show but you're going to let her do a little bit.

Bob

Yea, she can totally when I tell her to.

David

Exactly, very good, hmm. Excellent. Alright, and you're still seeing her now?

Bob

Yes.

David

Alright, and she has simultaneous orgasm in intercourse with you every single time, right?

Bob

Yes.

David

Fabulous.

Bob

Usually, um, a couple of times.

David

Outstanding. And what has her history been with vaginal orgasms?

Bob

Um, she was probably not very vaginally orgasmic until after 30. And then she became pretty open-minded and pretty determined to explore all kinds of things. So she's bi and she's had a number of interesting experiences and all that. So, she is vaginally orgasmic. She knows she is and when she's relaxed, yes, she can experience that.

David

Oh.

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Bob

Like a lot of women she thinks the seed of all her orgasms is in her clit.

David

Mmhmm.

Bob

Because that's what they have been trained to believe

David

Right.

Bob

But, you know, we've done it in certain positions where there's no possible way hat the clit could account for that orgasm. And I haven't talked to her a lot about it but I'm sure that she must realize on some level that it 'aint the clit, in that particular circumstance.

David

Oh yea, and she's all fine with that; the fact that she has orgasms in intercourse. Outstanding, alright you said that she was bi?

Bob

Yea.

David

Excellent, and have you leveraged that, the fact that she's bisexual?

Bob

Well, we had an experience recently with another friend of mine. Um, you know, you had talked about how women, you talked about them exploring their sexuality and all that sort of thing. Well, I thought this was a really good woman because one night I told her about this other woman that I was seeing a little bit and, you know, there was, I couldn't see a tinge of jealousy all I could see was joy and a little curiosity and I said I'd introduce her you know. So, we got together and had a couple of drinks one night. So, we went to this girls place and the girl was nervous because she had never had a threesome and so I did whatever I could to stage manage things and all the sudden bam there we were. And, um, I don't know what you want to know but it was, you know, it was a great experience for me to be with a woman that say "yea, let's experience that" and it's all positive "yea let's go, let's do it."

David

Ok so it's because you had truly awakened her sexuality giving her all these wild, screaming, vaginal orgasms in intercourse and intercourse on command and all that stuff. So, in that light she figured yea I want to do more with this man including having threesomes. Ok so you and her and the other girl did have a threesome?

Bob

That's right. 14

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David

Ah.

Bob

The highlight was my girlfriend was on her period so she had her underwear on and she didn't want to put a towel down or anything like that she just wasn't comfortable. So, I was fucking the other girl from behind. My girlfriend was underneath that girl. The girl, well, she said that she had an orgasm, just being part of it, not from any particular stimulation on her body because nothing was touching her genitals in any way. It was really amazing. I was fucking this girl. My girlfriend was underneath this girl and she has the orgasm.

David

Excellent.

Bob

So, she, something has happened in her that she triggered an incredible readiness.

David

Excellent. Excellent. So, while you were fucking the other girl doggy-style and your girlfriend was underneath but her genitals were not being touched but your girlfriend had an orgasm.

Bob

That's right.

David

Outstanding. Fabulous. She is highly responsive to you then

Track 9 Come On The Count Of 10 David

Now, ah, it's interesting that you did the ten-count and you did it from 10 down to 1. I wrote that you do it from 1 to 10 but 10 to 1 works for you; and it worked right on the number one for her.

Bob

Right

David

Outstanding.

Bob

I'm sure that if I had said "I'm going to name 10 flavors of ice cream and when I say pistachio you'll come" it would have worked.

David

Yup, exactly. You e-mailed me about something else too. In my "Dirty Talk" CDs and "Setting the Foundation for a Wildly Sexual Relationship," I talk about the importance of romance and how you can be romantic but not be in love; and women www.Masterful-Lover. com

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can do things in the context of romance and in the context of romance it's ok. You had a funny story about romance and a girl that was over at your house. Tell me about that story that you wrote me about. Bob

Oh boy, you had to ask me about that, oh geeze. Alright, well, there was a night; I had this girl over for dinner, very nice woman, very intelligent, very spiritual. She's a trans-medium and she's a psychic and, you know, she's involved in new age thought and practices and etc. she does reiki, she, uh, ok. So, we have a really good time we have dinner, we have wine, we're having a really great conversation and I say "let's go up to the meadow." Now the lights are off the neighbors won't be able to see. We go in the meadow, we go behind a tree, I put down a blanket and pretty soon she's on all fours and I poured Bailey's Irish Cream on different parts of her body and something about this night, much of the Bailey's Irish Cream ended up on her asshole. I was licking it off that part of her body for quite an extended time and she was really enjoying it.

David

(laughs)

Bob

So, yea, we did this and we did that and it was a very nice night and the next day I woke up thinking "man, that was fun but what was the deal with her anus and my mouth and the Bailey's Irish Cream?" I got this little e-mail from her saying "thank you for the fun and romantic evening." At that moment I really understood the romance mood.

David

(laughs)

Bob

Like this little thin patina under which you can put raw sexuality and the rawer the sexuality and the more you want to engage in the raw sexuality the flimsier the pretext can be. So, you know, a night of "hey baby you want to go out in a field and I will lick your anus while your buns-up in the air pointed to the stars?" "I don't think so pal" but if you get into the right situation suddenly that happens and it is highly romantic.

David

Yea, let's have a romantic evening under the moonlight (laughs). Outstanding. I love it, how she justified having Irish Cream licked out of her ass under the context of it being romantic.

Bob

Yep.

David

Lovely. Outstanding.

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Track 10 The Mind Set For Dirty Talk David

Alright, now, you're obviously very comfortable with dirty talk and being able to talk dirty to a woman in the bedroom. Now what would you say to the guys on the call? What do you have to get over? What mindset do you have to have in order to be able to do talk dirty to your woman in the bedroom?

Bob

I think there's a moment where there is a little bit of a leap, and it's a pretty small leap because you've never done it. It seems like you're going to be disrespectful, you going to be rude, you're going to be doing something your mother or your sister would think you're a bad guy over. But I think you just have to experience, as David said, that this is a great gift to a woman in the right context. Once they respect you, once the rapport is there, once you're approaching intimacy, something opens up and I suppose you have to really have to go slow and get your bearings in that world. But the difference between sex with no talking and sex with all kinds of saucy talking you're going to multiply your enjoyment, her enjoyment, your rapport, her respect, everything, if you do this and if you don't do this you're seriously ripping yourself off and whoever you're with. Because having, I've had it both ways and with the dirty talk it just cranks everything.

David

So very true. Oh my god. That is so very true. It cranks everything. Now, that's a great contrast, sex with no talking versus sex with talking. It is so much more powerful when there is talking

Bob

Well, the other night we were together and we were having a really good time. We talk about scenarios, we just play make believe, because we have a great session and then, you know, we've already done everything. So we are just lying there and we are not going to sleep just yet. So, we're talking, we're cuddling, we're kissing, we're holding, and blah, blah, blah, we start talking. So, I don't know how it happened, but the scenario she was describing was that I was with these three girls and each girl had a clearly defined persona. So, I would interact with the one girl, then I would interact with the other girl, then I would interact with the other girl. I would command the one girl to do this and, you know, I ended up having sex with each of the three girls, commanding them to orgasm a couple of times. And then saying "now you, who you really are, let's do it, let's have our orgasm and go to sleep." But if you had told me a year ago "ok, you're going to be with this www.Masterful-Lover. com

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girl, you're going to command six orgasms, then have a commanded seventh simultaneous orgasm and then go to sleep," I would say "that's a little bit far-fetched." And if I were to read it I probably wouldn't believe it. But part of it is having a woman who is very suggestible, having a really good rapport, you know, having a real appreciation for each other. And, um, she's just now can't wait for me to tell her to come, so that she can come. David

Outstanding. Now, I'm curious about these three women. Now, I'm going to play the devil's advocate and I'm going to make like I don't fully understand what's going on.

Bob

Ok.

David

Now, does she narrate fantasies to you while she was masturbating you, making a fantasy true for you? Or was she pretending that she was three different women?

Bob

She was pretending that she was three different women. It's sort of like spontaneous co-creation. Somehow, I think it came out of her mouth that there were these three different women and she said "ok, one's like this, one's like that." You know, I don't even remember the circumstance because it is really late at night. But, yea, she was talking out loud; and I was playing along.

David

Oh, very good, very good, and it gives her the opportunity to give some of it back to you. So, what she did is she took on three different personalities, well actually, two other personalities, and then the third woman was her. So, in the first personality she probably told you about a scenario where she's like some really proper school girl or something like that and the second one she's a dominatrix that needs to be disciplined and the third one she's like "now it's me, now I want you to make me come." Fabulous, fabulous and that's actually a very powerful one, where either you tell her that she's a different person and that she's feeling what that other woman is feeling or that's even better when she says "I'm going to make believe I'm a different person and I want you to fuck that person." That's fabulous.

Bob

Yea.

David

So she is...

Bob

I've never met a woman who is not a really good actor and all it takes is you just say "hey, you know, what if this or what if 18

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that?" And all the sudden you're playing and it is quite powerful. David

Fabulous. Oh yea, role play is so powerful. And in the context of role play she can be ruthlessly expressive but it's ok because she's playing somebody else.

Bob

That's right.

David

Outstanding.

Track 11 Getting Her To Talk Dirty David

Some guys are nervous when they go into the bedroom and then they're naked they're with their woman how do they go about talking dirty? I mean what's the first dirty thing that you say when you're in the bedroom naked with her?

Bob

What I like to do, you know, and I'm a rank amateur compared to you so feel free to say "are you crazy? You're doing it all wrong!" But what I have found is you just launch into it gradually and ramp up by watching closely and seeing how it's working. And if you are aware of a little breath, it tells you other things because certain things cause a little intake of breath and certain things cause a big intake of breath. And if you start saying things that are causing a big intake of breath, the door is open, all the green lights are there for you to do whatever you want. So you say to a woman, you know, ok, so, the distinction you make is penis in the living room and cock in the bedroom, right?

David

Right.

Bob

So, I like to get the woman to start talking about the body parts.

David

mmmhmm.

Bob

And they'll say" what do you want me to do now, what do you want me to do now?" "I want you to put it in." "You want me to put what in?" "I want you to put your cock in." "Can you say that one more time? I like the way it sounds." "I want you to put your cock in." "Oh, really, where do you want me to put my cock?" "I want you to put your cock inside of me." "Well, what part of me..." Do you see what I mean? And it just starts the conversation. That's how I've always done it.

David

Oh, that's good, that's good. You get her participating, you get www.Masterful-Lover. com

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her making, using words, slang terms for anatomical parts. The slang terms that are used in the bedroom get her to use the words "cock" and "pussy" and you get her to point "Please fuck me like a slut." "Please ram your cock in my hot pussy." Oh, that's fabulous. And that just ramps up her excitement. Oh, that's very good. Alright, so, very good point where when you're in the bedroom you start out slow and you gradually ramp up based on your calibration of her, based on watching her, ah, watching her level of arousal. Very good. Bob

Yea. It's something I never, I think somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew that women were turned on by talk, or they're turned on by a good talker or whatever or maybe I thought I could never be one, or maybe I thought I was a bit of a good one or whatever. But since becoming really aware, you know, listening to your tapes or reading the stuff and thinking about it, I would quite deliberately say "tonight I am going to do that activity and see how it goes." Ah, I'm quite amazed how deep it goes and how powerful it is. How the power that words can have on sex. Because we think of sex as physical but from my experience once you get that the orgasm is almost like an abstract concept somewhere, once you get that she is completely susceptible to words, to suggestion, to command, and, it changes everything.

David

Oh, very good point. When you understand that orgasm is some abstract concept, basically when you understand that orgasm is basically mental, then you know to leverage the mental, which makes it so powerful.

Bob

Yea, see, the difference for me, if I may, you know, sum it up. The difference for me is whereas before I was a guy who wanted to please a woman, I was quite determined to do so and you know had a reasonably good success track record at doing so, you know, so in my mind I was make sure she was well taken care of, I want it to be pleasurable for her, boy I hope I can give her an orgasm or even two. Right? "Wow, I gave her two orgasms I'm really a stud man." Well, that's a place. There's another place, which I've gotten to, which is I have no doubt she's going to have many orgasms I have no doubt we're going to have a really, really good time. I'm looking forward to it. I have not negative anticipation of anything I'm just thinking maybe we can go to new places and just think how great it could be.

David

mmmhmm.

Bob

And, um, so the, my goals have changed. And I find the 20

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simultaneous orgasm thing to be really powerful because to me it's some romantic notion so what? You happen to come at the same moment, big deal; I suppose it is a gift to me, is it? From experiencing it repeatedly recently it really cranks both people at the same time. It's an amazing thing. David

mmmhmm.

Bob

And I think that you know when your romancing a girl you have the ability to engineer simultaneous orgasms. That's a very, very romantic idea in women's minds.

David

That is very powerful and very romantic that Holy Grail of the simultaneous orgasm; it's what all women dream about and it's very romantic for them. Fabulous. And it's very easy when you have command of her orgasm. Very good.

Track 12 When To Start Dirty Talk David

Outstanding. Bob, I really appreciate you sharing these things with us. It's obvious that you have internalized the teachings. You have leveraged the knowledge and you have done it in your specific way, and it worked out fabulously for you and you have some pretty good ideas.

Bob

Hey, it was in the heat of passion, David.

David

And that's where all the good ideas come from in the heat of passion. That's when you become inspired that's when you become creative, that's when you take the beliefs that you have and you turn them into actual actions that are extremely effective. So you were doing absolutely the right thing, fabulous. Alright, Bob, thank you very much for talking to us. What I'm going to do now is I'm going to open up the floor and let the listeners ask questions of either you or me. Folks that are on the phone if you want to ask a question of either Bob or myself hit 5* on your telephone and I will un-mute you and you can ask us a question. Ok, we have a hand raised and I will un-mute you. Your phone should be un-muted. Hi, who is this?

Victor

Uh, Victor.

David

Hello Victor. How are you sir? www.Masterful-Lover. com

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Victor

How are you David?

David

Uh, very good, thank you. What is your question, Victor?

Victor

Uh, yes, um, do you start the dirty talk, um, immediately as soon as you enter the bedroom like your sitting there both naked? Or is it appropriate to start it, you know, when you're actually on the bed and you know doing the foreplay?

David

That's a very good question, Victor. Bob, would you like to speak to that? When do you start dirty talk in the bedroom? Do you start it when first get in the bedroom or when you're both in the bed naked?

Bob

Well, I don't think you need a technical, hard-and-fast rule. Once you're, I call it you're both in the canoe, once you're both totally committed to going forward and having a sensual experience together, you can start I'd say. You may not start with the, um; you may not start with the super-intense dirty talk you want to get to. You might just start by talking about "does that feel good?" "I'm going to make you feel good." Talking about how you feel, you know, things like that.

Victor

Ok, also, um, I know I'm going to be the leader of this but is it also important to get her involved with some kind of way, ah, you know, early in the session?

David

Ok, what is your question Victor are you saying you want her to partake in...

Victor

Yea, yea, yea. At about what time do you get her to participate in it also? After that's been started?

David

Alright, Bob, you had your girlfriend participating in dirty talk, at what point in arousal, in the session, do you get her participating in. You talked about an example where even before there's intercourse you get her using slang terms. Correct?

Bob

Right. Yea, I think that's been my goal is to get her to start using the words because once we're both using the words we're pretty well, there's no going back. And we keep on ramping up from there. All I know for sure is because I haven't dated, you know, you're the man. I haven't analyzed this and spent years working on it. I've notice that there's a point when there's no going back there's only going forward and from there. I just start ramping up gradually and watching. I've

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never ramped up to the place where David gets on the tapes, by the way. I'm sure I'll get there but there's a moment when your comfortable that you absolutely saying this is going forward, it's not as though she's sticking her toe in the water; she's committed, we're about to start we're feeling good, we're touching each other, we're doing stuff to each other, and talking enhances the whole experience a lot. What I suggested before was, you know, yea, let's just saying you touching her breast and you say "oh, your breast feels so good." "Do you like it when I touch you there?" She says "yea" maybe ask her "hey, what is it tell me what you like?" "I like it when you touch me there." "You like it when I touch you where exactly?" "I like it when you touch my breast." "Do you like it when I squeeze you breast?" "Yea, squeeze my breast." You see what I mean? Victor

Yea

Bob

It's just getting her involved in the dialog and you can go from there.

Victor

So basically once you get her to start talking and the slang terms and everything that pretty much is like a, like a, open invitation to she's open to that kind of thing. She's open to it.

Bob

Yea, you'll see. If she's getting turned on if she's breathing differently and she's interacting with you on a more deeply sexual level. That's good feed back, you know, you're definitely going in the right direction.

David

Ok.

Victor

So that basically after that if she's, um, I understand what you were saying earlier about you might feel uncomfortable talking that way to her. It might seem like your disrespecting her but once she's involved once she's started talking the slang language and, um, and basically doing that then that's sort of like and unconscious "go." You know, go further and further on it to it.

Bob

Yea, if you have that concern in your mind, you're probably, she's not going to be comfortable if your not comfortable.

Victor

Right.

Bob

And you're not going to be comfortable if you don't believe that you can talk that way without disrespecting her. So, I think you're quite right. If you can get her to say the words and say www.Masterful-Lover. com

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things and say thing to you it is absolute proof that you're not disrespecting her. Because she's saying to you "I'm with you I'm enjoying, c'mon let's go" and you'll get to where you really know how to go forward. Victor

Ok, thank you.

David

Ok, thank you for your question, Victor, I appreciate it.

Track 13 Sensing When She Is Ready Victor

Ok, I was impressed by the phone sex CDs that you made and everything, David. My question is how can you, on the phone, tell the different stages of arousal from the girl on the other side? What to listen for really.

David

Oh, that's a very good question, Victor. And Bob has an excellent answer to that. Bob, you talked to me in an e-mail about just that.

Bob

You know when you spend time with a woman have a really nice night, the next day you might exchange e-mails or texts or have some kind of a phone call

Victor

mmmhmm.

Bob

People tend to send e-mails with mmmm like, "mmmm, that was nice." Or mmmm, thank you" or blah, blah, blah. I found on the phone talking to a woman you say "that was really nice, what are you doing right now" And you say the words "I wish I were there right now." It's very powerful it's like a total state change. And then you hear the woman go "uh huh." It's almost like she's ready to reach for her vibrator or something when she hears those words. I just notice that. I don't know what it is but that is a trigger that is a phrase. "I wish I was there right now" because it is saying "let's imagine I'm there right now." She's very ready to do so.

David

Yea, very good, and when you say to her "I wish I were there with you right now" and she replies "mmmm" that would be a good sign, Victor.

Victor

Ok.

David

(laughs) Ok, and I...

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Bob

David, let me just jump in for a second and to help Victor get the answer because part of it is, you know, you listen to her breathing, you listen to the breath, you listen to her tone of voice. But I remember too listening to the CDs and you're able to her when a woman is getting orgasmic. If you've done it a lot so you're able to hear subtle little vocal tones where you know bam that's it is at the point of no return.

David

Another thing is I noticed in those CDs I had her talking to me a lot during it. Because a lot of times I couldn't hear it during it .Just had to do with how close she had the microphone, that particular night to her mouth. And I would be continually asking for feedback. So, if you don't hear you can actually ask for feedback.

Victor

Ok you just ask questions you like (what's the word I'm looking for?) like closed-end questions? Basically just ask her a question and from that get her feedback from her and from that gauge, you know, how much farther to go along with it.

David

Well, Bob, had an excellent example, which is where he got his girlfriend to use the slang terms and that's an excellent example of something that he could use on the phone I'm sure. Is while he is describing the fantasy to her of what he would do while he was there. He could ask her "and what body part do you want me to, what exactly do you want me to touch?" And he could hear the inflection in her voice when she replied.

Bob

Another thing I just remembered is when do your describing all the stuff and then doing and the girl is starting to play with herself and she's getting really close to orgasm. When she has her orgasm right it's very, very easy at that point to say I am almost there. Talk me home, you know, tell me you take over and a woman not going to say I can't do that she's going to and she's going to start saying things and now you've opened the door to where she's really stepping up to the plate and talking dirty right back.

David

oh, that's good that's good. You get really close and then you say to her "oh yea, take me home, take me home." And she has no choice then but to partake in the dirty talk. Oh, very good. Oh yea, very good. It's like hey I'm there you want me to come your going to have to start talking dirty to me now. Oh, very good

Bob

Right

David

And it's a position that she can't get out of fabulous. And

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Bob

Yea, actually it's a big turn-on when you've been doing all the dirty talk and all the sudden she's going "oh, lick my clit, play" or whatever, it's like hey this is really cool.

David

mmmhmm. Oh yea or when she says "fuck me harder, fuck me like a slut." Oh yea, very good. And that allows her to be even more ruthlessly expressive. Fabulous. Did you have any little questions on that, Victor?

Victor

No that's pretty much self-explanatory right there (laughs).

David

Alright, good luck with the dirty talk.

Track 14 Knowing That She Won't Be Offended David

Bob, I wanted to say I really like your concept of no going back point or like a tipping point. It's that point where you know that she's committed to the evening's activities moving sexual. And once you sense that tipping point then you know that you can continue and you can be confident knowing that the things you are going to say are going to be taken in the correct context.

Bob

Right

David

Their going to be taken in the context of sexual talk not raunchy talk. Very good. And how do you detect that the tipping point has happened?

Bob

I just base it on the state of arousal that the woman is in. You know, she's panting you can be pretty sure she's aroused and she not going to be offended by anything you're using a work that is not spoken in classrooms. I think it's just a matter of amping up and amping up and amping up and amping up.

David

Very good.

Bob

One thing I've notice, you know, I mean there's a lot of literature about women and their arousal and how they need foreplay. Men can get aroused right away and women it takes a while. I would almost say that women are infinitely arousable. You can have sex with a woman and she can have an orgasm, but relatively speaking, she could have been much more aroused and you, yourself could have been much more aroused. So, sometimes it's great to have a quickie and it's great to have 26

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a quickie but if you wanted to get to the ultimate arousal it would probably take a lot of activities some talk some different things. And, um, women can get to states of arousal that are incredible but I don't think you can get all the way there without the talk, I don't quite know how you would. David

Exactly it's the talk that makes it all happen

Bob

It engages the mind, right and...

David

Exactly, it's all in the mind and it's the talk that gets you there. This raises a very interesting point you said, that a lot of people think that men get aroused quickly but women it takes a long time to get aroused.

Bob

Right.

David

That's because most men are lousy lovers. In actuality, I have found that women get aroused much quicker than men. Alright, nobody else has asked any questions. So, I guess all the questions have been answered.

Bob

Let me just interject one thought.

David

Yea.

Bob

I'm not sure Victor who they the question revealed that I think some guys are really concerned that this is appropriate that the're not going to be offending the woman they're not going to be dishonoring the woman and so I think the most important thing is to get comfortable yourself with the idea. If you, yourself are not comfortable saying these kinds of things you think you're going to get slapped or you think you're going to insult her or whatever; that's where you need to focus. Because you're not going to get to the bad stuff if you don't prove to yourself that this is a great gift to her that she will be very thankful that your introducing this that she will, you know, let you lead her and by letting you lead her she's going to look at you with more and more respect and it's ok to start gradually. But I think you have to know for yourself that this is totally appropriate totally kosher and you know really what she wants even if she doesn't even know it or she couldn't ask for it. Even if shed never admit it in a thousand years it's really what she wants and you have to introduce it gradually so that you yourself know for sure that this is real. Then you're going to have a lot of fun.

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David

Very good points, Bob. So absolutely true. Alright, thank you so very much, Bob, for talking to us today. I really appreciate it. I'm sure that the guys really learned a lot from hearing about your experiences and your implementation. Fabulous.

Bob

Thank you.

David

Alright I want to thank you all for calling in today to my teleseminar on "The Art of Sexy Dirty Talk," I'm David Shade.

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