Download Chris Payne - Effort-Free Life System Workbook...
Congratulations I promise you that this unique programme will enable you to create the life you've always wanted so you can realise all you've ever desired and more: effortlessly. I have spent the last 15 years looking for ways to make my life more prosperous, happy, rewarding and effortless. I've spent many many thousands of pounds on that search, and I've gone down many dead ends. And I've found answers which turned my thinking completely on its head. What you have in this programme is a tried and tested system for creating an effort-free life. It has been refined with the help of many clients to a point where they could create remarkable results by spending as little as 3-6 minutes a day doing one simple exercise. I'm delighted with what we've created with this programme. Please write, phone or email us with any questions you have, or any comments about anything you hear or read in this material. Here's to your new effort-free life which is about to begin - I feel it's
2009 lifeTools, Edition
1.5
Written by Chris Payne and updated by Nigel Singer. Please do not reproduce any
what you deserve.
of the text in this book
My warmest regards,
permission from lifeTools.
without the written
�
Chris Payne Creator of the Effort Free system
ROBERTA Model, FElIX P Model, BUSY SID Model and SCULPT Model are trademarks of Serenity Sounds Ltd, owners of lifeTools
P.S. Since Serenity Sounds took over LifeTools, Chris is no involved with the Effort Free Life System. The course hasn't changed and all of the content is still 100% relevant as it was intended and created. This is the reason why we have still maintained this opening welcome letter page by Chris, as it explains the journey involved in creating this product.
lifetools 20 Michigan Grove Trentham Stoke on Trent ST48UF Tel:
01782644008
Email:
[email protected]
URL:
www.lifetools.com
1
Acknow ledgrnents To those who contributed in alphabetical order: Faris Abdelbasit from Croatia for much-welcomed corrections to the playbook. Robert Austin, designer of the Mind Lab range of light and sound devices, for the design of the Audiostrobe sessions encoded into the following tracks: the Complete Acceptance Process and Melt Resistance. Wendy Barratt (www.wendybarratt.com) for the packing design. Roger Boden (www.cottagegroup.co.uk), the sound engineer on the core
7 sessions and masterer for all
the other tapes and CDs. John Carlton for his ideas and support. Jon Carter (www.cartertoons.com) for the Busy Sid cartoon drawings. Jenny Cole for providing some fine words. Gary Courtenay for some great suggestions to improving session 1. Nicky Evans for the music and editing of voice and mixing on the Complete Acceptance Process and Mel t Resistance tracks. Lauren Haman (
[email protected]) for all her great transcribing of my words from audio. Che Hargreaves (
[email protected]) for the ROBERTA and SCULPT cartoons. Alien Kaufrnan (www.allenkaufman.com) for the music and production on the Thank You For Everything tracks. Dan Kennedy, who among many ideas he offered, suggested I rename The Effortless Life System to The Effort-Free Life System. Michael Noels, a creative genius, who came up with the name LifeTools and helped smooth the rough edges of my written words in the early years, as well as the rough edges in my thinking. Richard for getting so many of my thoughts onto paper. Nigel Singer for encoding the Audiostrobe sessions mentioned above, using Mind Explorer (www.tc softworks.com) on the Pc. Jack Stull (
[email protected]) for great editing of the audio scripts. ... and if you think you deserved acknowledgement, and your name isn't listed above, my sincere apologies (I spent a fair amount of time thinking of everyone I could), then contact LifeTools. Finally...PhotoReading is a registered trademark of Learning Strategies Inc.
2
Contents Session 1: Getting Started "Where are you now?" questionnaire 5 What you want vs. what you don't want . 6 What you want: examples 7 What you want: 'away from' vs 'towards' ........................................ 9 What gets in the way? 11 What gets in the way?: examples . .. 12 My commitment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Three places you can be . . 15 Resisting vs accepting . 16 The price of resisting . . . 16 The power of acceptance . . 17 Practising acceptance . . 17 .
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18 19
20 21 22 23
. . 24 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . 25 27 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . 28 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 . 33 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
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Session 4: The ROBERTA Model: B&E Future testimonial: example Limiting beliefs Your limiting beliefs .
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Session 3: The ROBERTA Model: R&O The ROBERTA Model Wording your wishes: the SCULPT Model . . . SCULPT idea to write down 'What's not working' leads to 'what I want' . . 'Not working' / 'what I want': examples . . . . . . Creating your dream: John Goddard . . . . . . . . More about John Goddard Creating your dream: an example . . . . . . . . . . . Creating your dream : a house down under. Creating your dream: Bev's story Exercise: Feel the dream as real Exercise: Feel the dream as real (with partner) Getting specific to create a brilliant day Your perfect day: examples Envisioning your perfect life
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Session 2: The Complete Acceptance Process Complete Acceptance Process . Noticing your shifts in acceptance Melting resistance Accepting strong resistance / Sensualising Resistance Process Using the process with another person . Agreements for the next 2 weeks . . . .
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35
36 37 38 39
40 41
42 44
46
3
New empowering beliefs Installing new empowering beliefs Life shocks .
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47 49 . 50 .
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Session 5: The ROBERTA Model: R,T&A Getting things started and / or finished 51 What I will start or finish . 53 Travelling light - clean up your incompletes . 54 Miracles I have created / heard of in the past. . . . .55 . . 56 Logging 'miracles' Logging miracles: examples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . 57 Miracles: new windows and bathroom! . 58 .
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Session 6: Putting it all together The ROBERTA Model questions . . . . . . . . My 2 major goals . Precise Next Steps I can take this week My promises to myself . . Daily agreements for an effort-free life . . . .
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . 59 . . . . . . 60 61 . . . 62 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
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Session 7: The People Process . . . . 64 People in my life People process 65 . reV1Sl "Where are you now ?" ··te d . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 .
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Plus ... Glossary Shifts in state - and insights Aha! notes . . . . .
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67 68 69
4
"Where are you now?" questionnaire Congratulations on beginning this programme. We're sure you'll have a life transforming few days or weeks as you proceed through the course! • • •
Please rate the following statements out of 10. Only enter a number if you feel comfortable doing so. There is no right response: where you are is where you are! out of 10
Please rate these statements I feel in love with my life I know where I'm going I see the way ahead clearly I can ask for help easily I feel good about myself I I I I I
am self critical am easy on myself am happy with myself as I am am happy in my job feel in control of my life
Please rate the ... Clarity of your goals Direction in life Current energy level Current happiness level Current stress level Current anxiety level Relationship with your partner Relationship with your mother Relationship with your father Relationship with your children Relationship with your friends Relationship with your work colleagues (if one colleague would get a low rating, put this lowest rating down) Add any others you see fit
s
What you want vs. what you don't want Spend 2 minutes completing each of the columns below. Use a timer if you can. What do you want?
What don't you want?
•
•
•
•
•
•
Which list is longer? What insights can you gain from this exercise?
6
What you want: examples We asked more than 100 people what they wanted. This is what they told us, put into categories. You'll see some repetition. This is where different people asked for the same thing. Use a tick, underline, or circle any of these that you want for yourself. You could even add a '*' if that want is important for you, or even a '**, if it's very important for you. FEELINGS and EMOTIONS banish worry be accepting of myself be at the steering wheel be happier be happy anyway be happy not knowing where I'm going be less governed by emotions be me become more relaxed being happy on my own better able to cope with the stresses of daily life confidence constant happiness constant sense ofjoy experience extraordinary serendipity feel good about myself feeling wow get rid of anxiety free of fear of the future free of stress happier parenting happiness have confidence in abilities how to get angry increase motivation increase positivity and hope increased confidence around new people less frustrated less pressure to achieve less responsive let go of past pain increase confidence in public speaking make people laugh more assertive more confidence - inc to take calculated risks more confidence in new situations immunity to criticism motivation motivation to finish courses I've started move out of comfort zone reduced irritation by other people eg car drivers, kids on train, mobile phones relax fast see more hope self confidence self deserving not go totally blank in exams
LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS appreciate people around me more better relationships new friends more peaceful relationship detach myself from the hold people have on me sort out a specific relationship love my parents forgive my parents to be happy sat talking with my parents not let others get under my skin open and more present all the time open to my emotions overcome self sabotage quality time with my daughter RECREATION and HOBBIES get out of the UK in the winter golf handicap write a film script get rid of excuses write a bestseller PhotoRead travel the world triple my holiday time sing exquisitely PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT enjoy the process live for the now live now test to see if this method works profound sense of oneness self knowledge WORK accept my boss easier be the best employer my staff have ever worked for communicate my feelings to my boss effectively tell him when he pisses me off get ajob halve my work time talk to my boss about myjob play to my strengths PROSPERITY double my income enjoy a more relaxed way of life
7
financial freedom financial wealth without attachment huge financial success huge wads of money improve my wealth trading with other traders I like and respect SELF DISCIPLINE stop being easy to read and be manipulated stop being my own worst enemy stop doubting myself stop holding on stop judging stop procrastinating stop putting off doing things stop sabotaging my attempts at making changes stop thinking too much and rely on instincts more stop worrying stop worrying about life stop worrying about others' opinions - see them as equal stop worrying about the past self mastery more pro-active more tolerant PERFORMANCE achieve goals achieve my goals ideas in action CLARITY better sense of a life purpose better time management clear sense of direction find out what I really want find the joy of living finish what I start focused gain a working philosophy of life improved concentration more clarity know where I'm going to know what I really want to focus on sense of purpose
cope with fear deal with anger creativity energy improve health increased energy lose weight more health wholeness peace peace of mind perfect health inner peace keep cen tred new muscles sleep better stress-free quiet my mind reduce sensitivity reduce stress DO JOBS I HATE clean gutters CARS a Bentley TVR Convertible Ferrari have my ideal car CREATIVITY create in a more quantifiable way fluent in another language to be famous COMMUNICATION deal with conflict, not back down
FUN
laughter-filled days living in truth, joy, abundance and freedom look forward to working
HEALTH break habit of snacking carry this training into my life change the voices inside my head ideal weight communicate better control my blood pressure naturally
8
What you want: away from' vs towards' I
I
We took the list from the previous 2 pages and sorted them again into 2 different categories: things you want to move away from and things you want to move towards. You'll see that 37 (23%) out of the list of 161 are away from. Away From
banish worry be less governed by emotions break habit of snacking change the voices inside my head cope with fear control my blood pressure naturally deal with anger deal with conflict, not back down detach myself from the hold people have on me free of fear of the future free of stress get rid of anxiety how to get angry less frustrated less pressure to achieve less responsive let go of past pain immunity to criticism reduce sensitivity reduce stress reduced irritation by other people eg car drivers, kids on train, mobile phones sort out a specific relationship stop being easy to read and be manipulated stop being my own worst enemy stop doubting myself stop holding on stop judging stop procrastinating stop putting off doing things stop sabotaging my attempts at making changes stop thinking too much and rely on instincts more stop worrying stop worrying stop worrying about life stop worrying about others' opinions - see them as equal stop worrying about the past stress-free Towards
accept my boss easier a Bentley achieve goals achieve my goals appreciate people around me more be accepting of myself be at the steering wheel be happier be happy anyway be happy not knowing where I'm going
be me be the best employer my staff have ever worked for become more relaxed being happy on my own better able to cope with the stresses of daily life better relationships better sense of a life purpose better time management carry this training into my life clean gutters clear sense of direction communicate better confidence constant happiness constant sense of joy create in a more quantifiable way creativity do the method at a deeper level double my income energy energy enjoy a more relaxed way of life enjoy the process even more fun experience extraordinary serendipity feel good about myself feeling wow Ferrari financial freedom financial wealth without attachment find out what I really want find the j oy of living finish what I start fluent in another language focused gain a working philosophy of life get a job get out of the UK in the winter go to New Zealand golf handicap halve my work time happier parenting happiness happiness have confidence in abilities have my ideal car health huge financial success huge wads of money ideal weight Ideas in action improve health
9
improve wealth improved concentration increase confidence in public speaking increase motivation increase positivity and hope increased confidence around new people increased energy inner peace keep centred know where I'm going laughter-filled days live for the now live now living in truth, joy, abundance and freedom look forward to working lose weight make people laugh more assertive more clarity more confidence - inc to take calculated risks more confidence in new situations more health more peaceful relationship more pro-active more tolerant motivation motivation to finish courses I've started move out of comfort zone new friends new muscles not go total blank in exams not let others get under my skin open and more present all the time open to my emotions overcome self sabotage peace peace of mind perfect health PhotoRead play to my strengths profound sense of oneness quality time with my daughter quiet my mind
relax fast see more hope self confidence self deserving self knowledge self mastery sense of purpose sing exquiSitely sleep better talk to my boss about my job test to see if this method works to be famous to be happy sat talking with my parents to know what I really want to focus on trading with other traders I like and respect travel the world triple my holiday time wholeness write a bestseller write a film script get rid of excuses
10
What gets in the way? S o what stops you from getting all the things you want in life? What stops you from leading the life you deserve? What gets in the way of your dreams? Take a couple of minutes to write them down. Here are a few examples to get you started ... • my beliefs • low energy • uncertainty Now you see how many you can come up with in the next 2 or 3 minutes ...
11
What gets in the way?: examples We asked more than 100 people what gets in the way of them getting what they want, and you'll see below what they said. As before we've sorted them into a number of categories so that it's easier for you to digest. Do circle, tick or underline ones that you can identify with. You can put a '*' or '**' next to ones which leap off the page at you as you say "that's me!". Parents
my assumptions my criticalness my perfectionism my self image trying to please others conditioning conditioning: parents, upbringing, education, life control chasing after the wrong goals internal dialogue old habits oneself perception poor self-image possible failure previous experience taking easy way out things buried in my subconscious thoughts People
conflict of interests duties to other people excuses external pressure inland revenue negative input of others obligations opinions of others other people have a better idea than me other people's expectations outside pressures suppressed by others put off by other people's points of view resistance scepticism stuck in old habits stuckness subconscious faults School
bad experiences childhood experiences failed exams past conditioning past experiences teachers ridiculed me bullying
bad habits expectations of others commitments Society My feelings
anxiety apathy emotions fear worry hatred resentment anger depression desire to commit suicide comfort doubt embarrassment envy humiliation guilt falling for the comfort zone jealousy health problems idleness ignorance nervousness self doubt self pity self recrimination self sabotage overwhelm procrastination uncertainty tiredness Clients Money Traffic jams Telephone
email Beliefs
belief system
11
a sense of wanting a 'why?' answered age-too young/old altruism/personal sacrifice I can't I don't deserve it I'm not deserving I'm not satisfied when I get what I want unconscious beliefs unconscious processes and needs unnameable feeling wrong place, wrong time inadequacy inhibitions locked in the rat race negative beliefs time-too little/much Fear
fear of change fear of failing fear of failure fear of leaving comfort zone fear of loneliness fear of rejection fear of succeeding fear of success fear of the fear fear of the unknown fear of trying something new current circumstances don't know how to change scared to change
lack of self belief lack of self confidence lack of self esteem lack of self love lack of self understanding lack of skills lack of support lack of trust lack of clarity lack of confidence lacking courage to take risks laziness blockage carrying on banging my head against a brick wall economics ego money Not clear what I want no motivation no sense of achievement no specific goals not clear what I want not having manifested these before not knowing what I want lose my way mind Mise
inability to spell paperwork road rage
Lack of clarity
vagueness wanting to stay in safety zone worry what others think Poverty consciousness
lack of focus lack of funds lack of inner silence lack of motivation
13
My commitment •
•
•
•
•
•
•
I promise to complete this course. I may notice resistance coming up, but I can use the Complete Acceptance Process to enable the resistance to melt away. If I get stuck I agree to ring up or email for support. Alternatively I can write to LifeTools for assistance. I understand that the team's purpose is to enable me to get maximum value from this programme so I can create the life I've always dreamed of having. I am willing to consider that whatever happens as I go through this programme, I'm always doing the best I can at any one moment with the skills I currently have. I'm willing to set aside for now any doubt that this programme can give me all the guidance I need to create an effortless life until I've completed the course. I am willing to adjust my current behaviours and do things differently to create different results in my life. I agree to go easier on myself as I go through the programme, and remember to be relaxed, open and willing to do the simple exercises. I promise to have listened to all the COs/ tapes by [number] of the written exercises.
_____
[date], and do at least
__
Signed Date
__________
_ _____ _
14
Three places
you
can be...
Right now, reading this, you can be in one of only three places ... the past, the present or the future. You experience or feel the following in each of these places ... the past
the present
the future
regretful sad frustrated resentful disappointed a sense of loss guilty bitter unforgiving angry hateful upset disgusted
in control self aware magical peaceful great in harmony vulnerable in flow real alive powerful productive energised blissful accepting wise connected open trusting free loving timeless
afraid anxious inadequate out of control lacking confidence fearful of rejection stressed uneasy tense worried suspicious lost resigned feeling of hopelessness
All negativity comes from denying the present moment. And the only time you can do anything is right now! When you live in the past or the future, you resist these feelings so they stay locked in place : "what you resist persists." But when you accept these thoughts and feelings, your resistance to them disappears, the issue invariably melts away, and you feel fully alive in the present.
IS
Resisting vs acce p ting Stuck in a traffic jam, revving the engine, feeling frustrated, grumpy and sulky: it does no good! Instead, you could relax, enjoy the scenery, smile at another driver, wind the window down and have a chat! I once was on a train from Paddington station to Heathrow Airport, and the person opposite me freaked out the whole way, worried whether we would get there on time. Well none of that worry was going to get him there any faster! Life is the way it is: a balance of support and challenge - so enjoy the journey! That's acceptance.
The p rice of resisting... Imagine standing in a swimming pool and you push a flotation aid below the water. It takes energy to keep it submerged.
��-m�::::���;l
What if that flotation aid was your frustration, sadness, etc - as well as your playfulness, happiness, creativity, love, trust, energy?
I
You don't feel those feelings fully right now because you're keeping them submerged. We spend all day resisting our good and bad feelings. No wonder we feel tired at night. All that wasted energy, and for nothing! We sometimes even feel good about feeling tired, saying 'Tve had such a hard day", and encouraging sympathy!
Put your right hand against your partner's right hand alld push. Almost every time you try this with someone they'll push back - that's resistance, and it has become automatic in our lives. But there is a high price to pay for resisting as you will soon learn
That may be for a number of reasons for keeping all this good stuff submerged ... • you may feel you have a limited supply of happiness, and so you want to hold some of it back for yourself • you may remember that you were playful in the past, but someone made fun of you, so you've stopped doing that any more
16
The p ower of accep tance Arthur Rubinstein was a charismatic pianist who died in 1982. He played with real joie de vivre, and is considered to be one of the greatest pianists of the 20th century. He said: "Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings."
Arthur Rubinstein
Practising acce p tance
Lock your liltle finger and Ihumb around your parlner's hand so bolh your hands remain locked logether
Now ask your partner 10 do Ihe pushing and you, instead of resisting, just go where they go. Even if they push you round the room, go wilh Ihem in complele acceplance
After a few minules of you accepting and not resisting, the mosl likely thing 10 happen is Ihat your partner will simply slop pushing completely
What's the lesson? If you're with someone who is 'pushing' you: picking a fight, arguing, disagreeing, being unkind - and you are accepting, ie non reacting - you are the one with the power, not them. They will either carry on doing what they're doing, and you're fine about that, or, more likely they'll stop completely, as you saw from the above exercise. They might even say: "what's the point in pushing if you're not going to push back?"
17
Complete Acce p tance Process This powerful process, in its raw simplicity, consists of 2 questions ... What is your level of acceptance out of ID? Is it okay if that level increases? (You can just as easily substitute the word acceptance for gratitude or love.) Here's how to use the process in more detail... Do a "5 In 5 Out": breathe in smoothly and deeply for 5 seconds, then out slowly and smoothly for 5 seconds. Repeat this a few times, so you feel more settled
Use this process to get into the Living Present so you feel more alive, energised and in control
1 . Place your attention on whatever issue comes to mind right now. 2. What is your level of acceptance/ gratitude/ love of it out of 1 O? 3. Is it okay with you if this level of acceptance / gratitude/ love increases? Make sure you breathe fully.
[If the answer is yes, go to 4 } [If no, I s it okay if this level increases just for fun and just for now? I f yes, go t o 4. If no, go to the exercise 2 pages after this one. } 4. What level is it at now? Go to 3.
[If the level reaches 10, ask:} It okay if this level goes beyond out of 1 O? You can log your changing levels on the next page. Important: if your level does not increase at all or beyond a certain point, you are most likely resisting. Go to the exercise 2 pages after this one. We also recommend that you ring for telephone support: an Effort-Free Coach will help you get beyond 10 out of 10 acceptance, no matter what!
18
Noting your shifts in acceptance Use this page to log your changes in acceptance as you use the Complete Acceptance process. Here's an example of how to use it. This person started at with an acceptance level of minus 50, then they asked themselves the cycle of two CAP questions 1 0 times, and wrote down their level of acceptance at each step. Date: October 1, [specify year] Acceptance at the start: -50 1 3 6 7 9 1 0 1 1 1 3 20 57 Notes : when I got my acceptance to 10 I felt quite good. At 57 I suddenly felt fabulous! Now it's your turn... Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes:
______________________________________________________ _
Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes:
______________________________________________________ _
Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes :
______________________________________________________ _
Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes :
______________________________________________________ _
Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes:
______________________________________________________ _
Date: Acceptance at the start: Notes:
______________________________________________________ _
Note: Remember to substitute the word acceptance for gratitude or love if you're not feeling much more at peace when doing the exercise.
19
Melting resistance If you've been using the Complete Acceptance Process and your acceptance level isn't rising, or got stuck at a particular level. please consider that you are almost certainly resisting: ie fighting against it going up. Now this is fine with me if you resist, but is it fine with you? If you are willing to accept the resistance, then you'll either stay resisting and you'll feel wonderful that you're resisting - or your resistance will melt away. The following exercise helps you accept your resistance at a deeper level than you may be consciously aware of. Ask yourself... 1 . Is there any resistance here now? 2. What is my level of acceptance / gratitude/ love of this resistance out of 10? 3. Is it okay with me if this level of acceptance / gratitude/ love increases? Make sure you breathe fully. [If the answer is yes, go to 4J [If no, Is it okay if this level increases just for fun and just for now? If yes, go to 4. If no, go to X below. .} 4. What level is it at now? Go to 3. X.
If you had to choose between the 'fighting' of resistance, and being free of it by accepting, which would you choose? And what if you were to try out accepting just for fun for a minute or two, then went back to resisting after that if you wanted to? [Now go back to 3 again. If your acceptance still doesn't go up, see the next page.J
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Accepting strong resistance If you still feel stuck in resistance, it is probable that you're resisting the resisting! i.e. there are 2 levels of resistance. How about considering accepting the resistance to the resistance?!! You may even think it's funny that your mind is tying itself in knots by fighting itself. How about some compassion for your poor mind?! Try one more time... Y. Is there any resistance to the resistance?
Z. What is your level of acceptance of this resistance out of ID?
[Go to question 3 on the previous page then go from there.]
Sensualising Resistance Process If the resistance is very stuck, try the following... Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. What colour is the resistance? What shape is it? Where is it located exactly? What sound is it making? Is it hot or cold? Is it loud or quiet? Is it heavy or light? Notice if it has changed at all. If it has reduced significantly, go back to the Complete Acceptance Process questions. If it hasn't reduced much, reach inside your head, pick up the resistance, hold it in front of you and bounce it on your hand, then throw it away as far as you can. Now check back inside your head and see if it has reduced or vanished, and go back to the Complete Acceptance Process. A helpful approach you can try:
•
Imagine that your level of acceptance is controlled by a dial, and see yourself turn that dial up.
Remember: if you feel that your resistance is 'stuck', simply contact us and we can arrange for you to speak to a trainer to discuss private tuition and your trainer will 'pop' that resistance within a few minutes which will leave you feeling much more relaxed and empowered.
21
U sing the p rocess with another p erson It can be really helpful to do the Complete Acceptance Process with another person, taking it in turns to be the questioner. Sit opposite them so your knees are almost touching ... ... or sit sideways on to each other, which makes your heads even closer. Make sure both of you are sitting upright, legs uncrossed. If you lean forward you may tend to find it more difficult to increase your acceptance beyond 1 0 out of 10 so make sure you sit back in your chair. -
Decide who will ask the questions first. If you are asking the questions, ensure that you answer them too in your head. And please take a breath yourself every time your partner says yes or no.
Sit facing your partner, both feet on the ground, sitting up straight, back against the rear of the chair
Why is this? Because if you are trying to get the other person to accept then they may sense your pushiness and resist! Is it okay with you if the other person prefers not to accept where they are? The more you can accept this the better results you'll both gtl! If you want, you can make a note of levels of acceptance as they come up. For example ... Using CAP with John, May 15, [specify year) Issue: unhappy with his job Acceptance levels as we proceeded: 2 6 muscles in his face started to change 7 his body stopped twitching, and relaxed 9 10 felt quite good 1 1 he gave a big grin 13 20 57 he said he suddenly felt fabulous After the session: he said he felt he could write some ideas down re his job which he plans to present to his boss next Monday to make his job more productive.
Or sit sideways on, so your heads are closer together. Some people may find it less intimidating than directly face-ta-face.
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Here's the same set-up as above, but with the photo taken from a different angle.
11
Using the p rocess with another p erson
(cont'd)
Start by asking the other person to bring to mind an issue they have a charge about. 1 . Ask the person to state their issue in a few words. Then ask... 2. What is your level of acceptance of this issue out of la? 3. Is it okay with you if this level of acceptance increases? Make sure you breathe fully.
[If the answer is yes, say "Well done" or "Great", and go to 4] [If no, Is it okay if this level increases just for fun and just for now? If yes, go to 4. If no, go to page 20.] 4. What level is it at now? If the level has changed, you can occasionally ask: Does this level of feel different from before? For example: Does this level of 6 feel different from the 3 it was before? Go to 3. _
_
[If the level reaches 10, ask:] As you breathe into that acceptance, is it okay if this level of acceptance goes beyond 1 0 out of 1O? [Now go to question 3 ] If your partner 's level of acceptance is not increasing, turn to the Life Shocks section on page 50, and go from there: they're almost certain to experience a big shift by going through the process there.
Agreements for the next 2 weeks It's important that you use the Complete Acceptance Process every day. Consider filling this form in every day for the next 2 weeks, then decide at the end of those 1 4 days if you want to continue for a further 2 weeks, and so on. You can either do it once a day, or for even better results in your life, twice a day. Daily 3-min 3-min
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Accept (am) Accept (pm)
23
7 Steps to an effort-free life ...
... is for Rest: Rest in the now - using the Complete Acceptance Process .
... is for Outcome: Get clear on your outcome - and make it an inspiring one. [In this
illustrated example, grabbing a bag of gold at the top of a ladder.}
... is for beliefs: Identify limiting beliefs - and accept them. [For
example, "I might fall off the ladder. "]
... is for Empowering: Create empowering beliefs - and accept them. [For example, "I feel full of confidence on the ladder. "]
\\---J!
... is for Rung: Identify the Precise Next Step (rung) - and melt away any resistance to taking that step.
... is for Take: Take the Precise Next Step. So she climbs one rung.
... is for Allow: Allow for a miracle!
14
Wording your wishes: IJ[J[]f3
�g[f[l�g
For a goal to happen effortlessly it really helps if it's worded according to the SCULPT Model...
@ (f: m g [f rg
Sensorially rich
Completed
Unexpected
Limitless Use the SCULPT Model to get very clear exactly what you wallt
Positive, present tense, and precise
TIme linU' I de,dline
Let's take these in a different sequence to build a compelling goal... Your goal needs to be positive, present tense and precise.. "I have a total of £1 00,000 (US$180,000) in my bank accounts" not "I am debt free" - because it focuses on what you want to move away from; so it keep you focused on debt! "I have more money in my bank account" isn't precise enough It needs to be completed, so it's not "I am building up my savings to £100,000 (US$180,000)" or "I am going to new job interviews": instead you write "I am now employed as ... at ... [company] C is also for consequence... If you get promoted, this may mean more travel, taking you away from your family. If you want to be famous, you may not like the constant attention while shopping. If you dream of dating someone half your age, you may find they have different values, TV preferences, friends, and less wisdom or experience in life. If you lose weight you may need to buy a completely new set of clothes. If you buy a big house with land you may not enjoy employing and managing a gardener and housekeeper. You may resent paying for the cost of upkeep or the 'high' daily cost of keeping the indoor pool warm! If your business grows you may not like employing a larger staff.
15
If you're promoted, you may not like the additional responsibility or reporting to the board. If you dream of a house in France or Spain, you may find the bureaucracy or lack of urgency or standards of the builders too frustrating. Here's why: for any goal you have, there will be just as many upsides as downsides. If you see more upsides than downsides then you'll most likely become foolhardy and make rash decisions. If you see more downsides than upsides then you'll be over cautious. If you see that upsides and downsides will always be in balance then you'll be more present and simply pursue those outcomes which inspire you the most. [If you would like more information about this, email
[email protected]. subject: Balance.] Limitless ...
"I have a total of £100,000 or more in my bank accounts"
A time limit or deadline gets your mind working on allowing it to happen, and encourages you to take small or large actions which dissolve any remaining resistance. For example: "I have a total of £100,000 or more in my bank accounts by October 31, [state yearJ" Allow for the unexpected. Instead of "I now earn £18,000 (US$32,000) a year in the same role of sales administrator in the office where I'm working now", keep it simple so you may find yourself within months in a new, better job, somewhere else! Or: "I'm now in Jamaica on holiday, having saved up for six months" - as this prevents you from getting the holiday as a gift or winning it in a prize! It also needs to be sensorially rich... Make your goal as big as you can. Can you ... • make it more outrageous? • involve more people? • let it blow your mind? • let it get so big that it gives you butterflies? (The 'tingle' factor.) What do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? Add some oomph, drama, colour ... to make it compelling, so you have sensory evidence that you've got it. Turn it into a movie if you see it as a still photograph. For example ... "It's October 31, [state year] and I'm running my own small business. Three other people are busy answering the phones and taking down orders. I'm sitting at a tidy desk with a diary listing all my plans for the coming week. I feel inspired, and I feel a deep sense of love with life because I'm doing what I've always wanted to do." Notes ... You don't need to be in the goal! You can write "It's Oct 31, [state year], and my sister is now completely healthy."
16
SCULPT idea to write down Use the SCULPT Model below to write your goal. Be as precise as you can, get clear on your outcome and make it as sensorially rich as possible. Remember, when you are in a deep state of acceptance with your goal, make the most of this powerful state.
S
C
U
L
P
T
21
'What' s not working' leads to 'what I want' e.g. health, money, relationships, job, beliefs, attitude Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
Situation
Accept?
Present-tense, positive goal
Accept?
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'Not working' / 'what I want' : examples Here are some excellent examples for you to borrow wholesale or modify to suit your situation ... WEALTH Situation: My relationship to money. Present tense, positive goal: I value my talents and I am confident asking for what I want. Situation: Don't want to pay my mortgage alone. Present tense, positive goal: I have 2 people living in my house paying £550 (US$I,OOO) or more by November. We all get on very well together. Situation: Don't want to be skint. Present tense, positive goal: I am in credit at least £15,000 (US$27,000) by April [specific year]. Situation: Horrendous mountain of debt and small earnings from work that is unfulfilling. Present tense, positive goal: I have an abundance of fulfiling work, nothing on credit cards, paying £3,000 (US$5,000) a month and have £10,000 (US$18,000) in savings. Situation: Lack of financial abundance. Present tense, positive goal: I have an income of £50,000 (US$90,000) or more by 1st November [specific year]. HEALTH Situation: I'm tired all the time and this is governing my life. I don't want to need so much sleep. Present tense, positive goal: I have unlimited energy and am free to do what I want physically, at any time (by October 1, [specific year]). Situation: I would like to find some food I like for breakfast and to change my diet to a more "healthy" one. Present tense, positive goal: I only eat things which nourish me. I love breakfast and every meal I have, and feel full of energy. Situation: Looking after myself - Fitness and appearance. Present tense, positive goal: I walk or cycle for one hour every day. I take care of my appearance every day. Situation: Don't want to be unhealthy. Present tense, positive goal: I am fit and proud of my body by December 20, [specific year]. Situation: I have excess weight that is hard to shift
and hard to do so much exercise. Present tense, positive goal: I weigh under 90 kilos by July 28, [specific year] and I feel fit. Situation: Lack of physical fitness. Present tense, positive goal: I am physically fit and able by January 1, [specific year] or sooner. Situation: Physical restriction. Present tense, positive goal: I am flexible and comfortable in my body by January 1, [specific year]. RELATIONSHIPS Situation: I don't want resentment to be my natural attitude to life and other people. Present tense, positive goal: I am free from resentment and accept other people as they are. Situation: I want to stop getting angry at the perceived demands made on me by my mother and brother. Present tense, positive goal: I accept and love my brother and mother as they are and continue to support them on my own terms. Situation: Relationship with one of my step daughters. Present tense, positive goal: I have opened up lines of successful communication by the end of November [specific year] and I am delightfully surprised at the closeness of our relationship. Situation: Attitude and relationship to step dad. Present tense, positive goal: By the end of November [specific year] my attitude towards my step dad has become more compassionate and understanding and I am delightfully surprised at the closeness of OUT relationship. Situation: One friend who is a drain on my energy levels and is very demanding of my time. Present tense, positive goal: I have opened up pOSitively to my friend and am now listening with understanding to her separate needs on OUT relationship and am amazed at how delightful our friendship has become by December 21, [specific year]. Situation: Attitude and relationship to step dad. Present tense, positive goal: By the end of November [specific year] my attitude towards my
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step dad has become more compassionate and understanding and I am delightfully surprised at the closeness of our relationship. Situation: My reaction to the patterns of others. Present tense, positive goal: I am totally accepting of other people's issues Situation: I do not want to be single. Present tense, positive goal: I have a deep and lasting relationship with a beautiful woman by February 1, [specific yearl. Situation: Don't want to be judgmental and gossip Present tense, positive goal: I am accepting of myself and love others as they are. Situation: my chaotic life has caused my relationships with women to break down. Present tense, positive goal: My positive, directed life is shared with a loving and creative woman by July 28, [specific yearl. Situation: Friction in my marriage. Present tense, positive goal: My marriage is smooth and loving and comfortable by September 27, [specific year]. PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Situation: Work and moving towards my goals too slowly Present tense, positive goal: By the end of October [speCific yearl, I am moving positively towards my goals and consequently have increased my client base by 20% per month. Situation: Self-confidence levels Present tense, positive goal: I have taken positive steps through various different approaches and my self confidence is improving in every area of my life. MATERIAL WELLNESS Situation: Getting a mortgage for my flat Present tense, positive goal: by the June 1, [specific yearl I have enough monthly income to buy a property of my choice, in an area of my choice.
Situation: Don't want to work for someone else. Present tense, positive goal: I am running my own company (or partner in a company) that has profits of £6,000 (US$l1,OOO) per week by February. Situation: Therapy practice not large enough. Present tense, positive goal: My therapy practice is large enough to satiSfy my ability, potential and needs by January [specific year]. EMOTIONS Situation: My motivation and belief in my talents. Present tense, positive goal: I am highly motivated with a total belief in my talents. Situation: Sense of adventure has gone. I am too fearful. Present tense, positive goal: I am on a great adventure where I step out of my comfort zone at least twice. Situation: My self esteem and attitude to myself seems to stop me progressing forward to my goals. Present tense, positive goal: I have a loving acceptance of myself at all times and am quietly confident of progressing forward to achieve my goals. HOUSEHOLD CHORES Situation: I have a houseful of clutter most of which I don't need. Present tense, positive goal: I have a beautiful ordered house with the minimal things I want and need and any small storage is orderly. CREATIVITY Situation: I am not using my creative talents to earn a living. Present tense, positive goal: I've been sponsored to create an inspirational sculpture in York Minster, helped by lots of local schools making units of this sculpture bringing it together.
WORK Situation: Work balance-direction with my vocation-too fearful. Present tense, positive goal: I am an artist with an income of at least £26,000, as well as continuing my design work. I have swapped the balance by November 10, [specific yearl.
You may want to consider putting your goals list in a special place: I put mine in this wooden box which can only be opened if you know the secret! (Shown next to my Palm organiser for size comparison.) Geri Halliwell (ex-Spice Girls) put her goals list in a photoframe behind a picture of her father.
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Creating your dream: John Goddard I came across John Goddard in a wonderful book called Chicken Soup for the Soul. One of the chapters tells the story of John who, at the age of 15, wrote a "life list" of 127 goals one rainy day. As of 2006 John is 77 and he has achieved 109 of those goals (marked with an asterisk "*,, on the list below). He is one of the world's most famous adventurers and a world-class motivational John Goddard (left> with Chris Payne speaker. Articles about him have appeared in Life, National Geographic Magazine and Reader's Digest. He has shared his amazing stories with people all over the world. I remember how inspiring I found this list when I first read it - you may too. Explore:
1. 2. 3 4 5. 6. 7. 8.
• '*
.
•
.
•
'*
Nile River Amazon River Congo River Colorado River Yangtze River, China Niger River Orinoco River, Venezuela Rio Coco, Nicaragua
Stody primitive cultores in:
9. • The Congo 10. * New Guinea 11 Brazil 12. ' Borneo 13 . • The Sudan (nearly buried alive in a sandstorm) 14. * Australia 15. ' Kenya 16 . • The Philippines 17 . • Tanganyika (Now Tanzania) 18 Ethiopia 19 Nigeria 20. ' Alaska .
•
.
•
.
•
Climb:
21. 22. 23. 24. 25 26.
.
Mt. Everest Mt. Aconcagua, Argentina Mt. McKinley * Mt. Hauscaran, Peru Mt. Kilimanjaro • Mt. Ararat, Turkey •
27 Mt. Kenya 28. Mt. Cook, New Zealand 29 . • Mt. PopocatepetI, Mexico 30 . • The Matterhorn 31. • Mt. Rainier 32. • Mt. Fuji 33. '* Mt. Vesuvius 34. • Mt. Bromo, Java 35. • Grand Tetons 36. • Mt. Baldy, California 37. Carry out careers in medicine and exploration (stodied premed, treats illnesses among primitive tribes) 38. Visit every country in the world (30 to go) 39 Stody Navaho and Hopi Indians 40 . • Learn to fly a plane 41. • Ride horse in Rose Parade .
•
.
•
Photograph:
42. 43.
Iguacu Falls, Brazil Victoria Falls, Rhodesia (Chased by a warthog in the process) 44 Sutherland Falls, New Zealand 45. • Yosemite Falls 46 Niagara Falls 47. • Retrace travels of Marco Polo and Alexander the Great •
•
.
•
.
•
Explore underwater:
48 49 . .
•
•
Coral reefs of Florida Great Barrier Reef, Australia (photographed a 300-pound clam)
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50. 51 . 52. 53.
Red Sea Fiji Islands • The Bahamas • Explore Okefenokee Swamp and the Everglades • •
Vi si t:
54. North and South Poles 55 . • Great Wall of China 56. • Panama and Suez Canals 57. • Easter Island 58. • The Galapagos Islands 59. • Vatican City (saw the Pope) 60. * The Taj Mahal 61 . • The Eiffel Tower 62. • The Blue Grotto 63. • The Tower of London 64 . • The Leaning Tower of Pisa 65 . • The Sacred Well of Chichen-Itza, Mexico 66 . • Climb Ayers Rock in Australia 67. Follow River Jordan from Sea of Galilee to Dead Sea Swim in:
68 . • Lake Victoria 69 . • Lake Superior 70. • Lake Tanganyika 71. .. Lake Titicaca, S. America 72. • Lake Nicaragua Accomplish:
73. 74. 75 . 76 . 77. 78 .
•
Become an Eagle Scout
* Dive in a submarine
.. Land on and take of from an aircraft carrier • Fly in a blimp, balloon and glider • Ride an elephant, camel, ostrich and bronco • Skin dive to 40 feet and hold breath two and a half minutes underwater. 79 . • Catch a ten-pound lobster and a ten-inch abalone 80. • Play flute and violin 81. * Type 50 words a minute 82. • Make a parachute jump 83. * Learn water and snow skiing 84. * Go on a church mission 85 . • Follow the John Muir trail 86 . • Study native medicines and bring back useful ones 87. • Bag camera trophies of elephant, lion, rhino, cheetah, cape buffalo and whale 88. .. Learn to fence 89. • Learn jujitsu 90. • Teach a college course 91. .. Watch a cremation ceremony in Bali 92 . • Explore depths of the sea 93. Appear in a Tarzan movie (he now considers this an irrelevant boyhood dream) 94. Own a horse, chimpanzee, cheetah, ocelot, and coyote (yet to own a chimp or cheetah) 95. Become a ham radio operator 96 . • Build own telescope 97. • Write a book (On Nile trip)
98.
Publish an article in National Geographic Magazine 99. • High jump five feet 100 . • Broad jump 15 feet 101. .. Run mile in five minutes 102 . • Weigh 175 pounds stripped (still does) 103 . • Perform 200 sit-ups and 20 pull-ups 104. • Learn French, Spanish and Arabic 105. Study dragon lizards on Komodo Island (Boat broke down within 20 miles of island) 106 . • Visit birthplace of Grandfather Sorenson in Denmark 107. • Visit birthplace of Grandfather Goddard in England 108 . • Ship aboard a freighter as a seaman 109. Read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica (Has read extensive parts in each volume) 110 . • Read the Bible from cover to cover 111 . • Read the works of Shakespeare, Plato, Aristotle, Dickens, Thoreau, Rousseau, Conrad, Hemingway, Twain, Burroughs, Talmage, Tolstoi, Longfellow, Keats, Poe, Bacon, Whittier, and Emerson (not every work of each) 112 . .. Become familiar with the compositions of Bach, Beethoven, Debussy, lbert, Mendelssohn, Lalo, Liszt, Rirnski-Korsakov, Respighi, Rachmaninoff, Paganini, Stravinsky, Toch, Tschaikovsky, Verdi 113. • Become proficient in the use of a plane, motorcycle, tractor, surfboard, rifle, pistol, canoe, microscope, football, basketball, bow and arrow, lariat and boomerang 114 . • Compose music 115 . • Play Clair de Lune on the piano 116 . • Watch fire-walking ceremony (In Bali and Surinam) 117. • Milk a poisonous snake (bitten by diamondback during photo session) 118 . • Light a match with .22 rifle 119. * Visit a movie studio 120. • Climb Cheops' pyramid 121. • Become a member of the Explorer's Club and the Adventure's Club 122 . • Learn to play polo 123 . • Travel through the Grand Canyon on foot and by boat 124 . • Circumnavigate the globe (four times) 125. Visit the moon ("Someday, if God wills") 126. • Marry and have children (has five children) 127. • Live to see the 21st century •
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More about John Goddard He was the first man in history to explore the entire length of the world's longest river, the Nile, in a 4,160 mile expedition which the Los Angeles Times called "the most amazing adventure of this generation." He then matched that achievement and became the first man ever to explore the entire length of the Congo; he scaled the Matterhorn in a raging blizzard after several professional guides had refused to go along, and he has established numerous records as a civilian jet pilot, including a speed record of 1,500 mph in the F-l11 Fighter-Bomber, and an altitude record of 63,000 feet in the F-106 Delta Dart. A graduate of the University of Southern California where he majored in anthropology and psychology, Goddard has studied obscure cultures in all parts of the globe. In addition, he has climbed 12 of the world's highest mountains, conducted 14 major expeditions into remote regions, traversed 1 5 of the world's most treacherous rivers, visited 120 countries, studied 260 primitive tribes, and travelled in excess of one million miles during his adventurous life. A resident of La Canada, California, where he lives with his wife and two of his five children, Goddard does not believe in pursuing adventure for the sake of frivolous thrills, but used these experiences to achieve a worthwhile end. This end, for him, is scientific exploration, adding to the world's store of knowledge. "Digging out the facts is the real challenge," Goddard says in summing up his career. "The adventure is exciting and enjoyable - but secondary." Yet digging out the facts can be a hazardous occupation. Goddard has been bitten by a rattlesnake, charged by an elephant, and trapped in quicksand. He has crashed in planes, been caught in earthquakes, and almost drowned twice while running rapids. But his overwhelming desire to discover fresh knowledge and to complete his youthful list of goals has driven him on in spite of the danger. Honoured by the U.S. Junior Chamber of Commerce as one of California's outstanding young men, Goddard belongs to the Adventurers' Club of Los Angeles (youngest member ever admitted), the Adventurer 's Club of Chicago, the Explorers' Club of New York, the Savage Club of London, the Royal Geographic Society, the French Explorers' Society (the only American member), the Archeological Society, the Mach II club, the Sigma Chi Fraternity, of which he is a life member.
Having read all this, are there any more goals you'd like to add to your list(s}?
Creating your dream: buying a flat John Doorbar is a communications trainer working in Germany. On a coaching call, I asked him to set a big goal. John wanted to buy a flat within a year, instead of renting. He wrote on a card ... "By April 1, [specific year], I live in a flat worth 300,000DM Jol1ll Doorbar (Deutschmarks) which I have paid 240,000 DM for. This flat is brand new, and has two floors. Upstairs there is a beautiful bedroom and new office. Downstairs, a large living room (at least 35 square metres). When I sit on my balcony I can see the mountains." He got his flat - and ahead of schedule. To show you just how close he got to his goal, compare the 2 columns below. The left-hand column is what he wrote down on a sheet of paper when he first thought of the goal. The right-hand column is what the flat actually comprised of when he bought it. Notice how miraculous the similarities are! Goal
A flat on two floors At least 70 square metres Wooden panelling on top floor No more than 3 other people living in the house Balcony at least big enough for 4 people to sit and eat on Wooden floors upstairs No more than 20 minutes from the centre of town View of the hills from balcony (without binoculars) No more than 240,000DM Quiet environment By Easter, [specific year]
Result Two floors 78 square metre Yes, beech, looks great 4 people live here including me Big enough for 6 Yes! 11 minutes from the centre Can see the hills on a clear day 240,000DM Cul-de-sac - no through traffic! I moved in on March 1, [specific year]
He created his new flat by writing the goal on a card every morning, and in the evening, and sometimes during the day, he read the card aloud. It was a big goal because, he says, "weedy goals don't inspire anybody!" If John can make his dreams come true then so can you! The day after he moved in, he rang me, and we talked about creating new business for him. The next day he got a letter from a company in the UK asking him to act as their agent in Germany! A 'miracle'!
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Creating your dream: a house down under Howard Tinker was a bus conductor in West Yorkshire. He decided to become a social worker, then after a few years he and his wife Bev emigrated to Australia. He asked Chris Payne if he could set up an Australian version of LifeTools, and Chris agreed. The business started to grow and they decided to move out of Sydney into a suburb on the seafront. Bev bought a large A3 scrapbook, cut out images from magazines of two homes that looked to be exactly what they were looking for. Several months passed.
Bev Tinker with her scrapbook
Bev Tinker opens to a page where she and Howard stuck down a large photo of a pool with a sea view, and 2
photos showing the kind af house they'd like to live in
One day Howard rang me up as he had low energy. 1 helped him get into a place of complete acceptance. He saw an advert on his desk for a house that he had rejected as it cost more than he could afford. He suddenly decided to go for it, and within a few weeks they had moved in. Months later they opened the Here's that page in more detail scrapbook and noticed that the second photo of a house they had cut out ,------"" and stuck down was the exact house they moved into several months later. They were amazed! "I now realise that 1 create what 1 think about", Howard told me. "I create miracles every day without even realising. Now I'm so clear about this, our lives are so much easier, and money flows into our hands quickly and easily. We couldn't be happier." A few mont11s later Bev and Howardfound themselves living in their dream house overlooking the sea! Only mon ths later did they realise it was the exact house they 'd happened to stick in their scrapbook!
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Creating your dream: Bev's story The following is Bev Tinker's story in her own words of how she created her dream home... 1 have believed for a long time now in the power of writing down my goals. My greatest manifestation of this so far is that I actually
living in the house we were in and I wasn't even looking at other property. Then one day, mid October 2001, Gay le,
stuck a picture in my scrap book (I call it my
who worked with us, printed off the details of a
vision book) of a house I wished to live in. Lo
house for rent that she had seen on the intemet
and behold 10 months later 1 am living in that very same house. This is how it happened . . . .
(wondering if we were still interested in moving). She put the print out on Howard's desk. He ignored it for about 2 days before he
My husband Howard and I had attained all but
asked me what I thought. I shrugged. I
one of the 12 goals we had set ourselves for the
wondered if we could afford it. Then Howard
year. Our dream home still alluded us.
rang Chris Payne as he was feeling really stuck,
So I suggested we put together a 'vision book', a picture story of how we wanted our
Howard told me, "I was so full of my woes - I felt totally devastated because of a
lives to be, I could see he wasn't impressed.
colleague's decision not to go ahead with some
Regardless of this I decided to do it. I started to think about where I wanted to
seminars after all the work I had put into the project - I felt abused and conned. Because of
Iive, the type of house I wanted and I began to
this I was deep, deep inside my comfort zone,
question Howard on the same. We had very clear criteria as we run a business from home and we like to keep work and home life
scared of taking any modicum of risk especially moving to such a wonderful house. Then Chris said to me 'While you are in this
separate, we also have a 3 year old so we had
state - you will never manifest anything.'"
certain requirements for her too. We get visitors
Chris got Howard to a space of acceptance,
from overseas so there had to be room for them
then he looked down at his desk while still on
too.
the phone and said "Oh my God Chris, you're not going to believe this but the house I have been dreaming about, I have a picture of it on
So it was in February 2001 that I started my vision book. On the first page I have a picture of the most amazing sunrise and the words: 'Who am I? The answer lies deep within your own heart. Look for it there. As your sense of yourself changes, so will your life'. This means for me that I am powerful and that when I get a sense of this, when I actually get it, I can create anything. On the next two pages are pictu res of ocean
views and 4 homes that I had chosen from an old real estate magazine. The requirements I
wrote are 'House for rent. Home and business together. Suburb by the sea. Air conditioning/ combustion heating. Garden for Elena to play in. Room for guests.
Garage / Workshop. 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms.
my desk. It's on the market, the information has been sat here for days and I've not even looked at it because I was so blinded by my issues. I'm going to go for this house, even though it feels a stretch." Of course as soon as Howard and I saw it we fell in love. Who wouldn't have? Ceiling to floor windows across 2 storeys overlooking the ocean. We took it immediately and moved in 2 weeks later on 27 October 2001. My vision book had been packed away and it wasn't until Christmas that 1 emptied the last few boxes from the move. Imagine how I felt when I opened up my book and there on page 2 is the picture of the very same house I am now
By 31 December 2001:
living in. 1 was stunned, my body was covered
I then accepted this goal at a deep level, getting to a place where I was happy if I got the
in goosepimples. Howard was amazed. I don't know why I was so surprised
goal and happy if I didn't. I put the book away
though. As I said earlier I have believed for a
intending to pull it out every now and again to
long time now in the power of writing down my
review my goals, but never did. I was happy
goals.
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Exercise: Feel the dream as real Ask yourself... 1 . How do I feel now this dream is real? Name it in 1 or 2 words. 2. Feel that feeling now as best you can. [Write it down, in brief, in a space at the bottom of this page.] 3. And now I have that. how do I feel? Repeat questions 2 and 3 until you come up with nothing more, or you're finding it difficult to come up with anything else. Now ask. .. What level is this feeling out of 10? Is it okay if this level increases? And more? And more? Just for fun, is it okay if it increases to infinity out of ID? [Now rest for a minute or two before proceeding.] Can you accept that there is only now? You really can feel all those wonderful feelings now which you expect to get when you attain your goal(s). Now you can enjoy the journey to actually realising each goal - feeling relaxed and confident.
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Feel the dream as real
(with partner)
Give this playbook to your partner, book open at this page. The questioner then asks the following ... 1.
How do you feel now your dream is real? Name it in 1 or 2 words.
2. Feel that feeling now as best you can. [Write down, in brief, what the person says, in the Playbook.] 3. And now you have that, how do you feel? Repeat questions 2 and 3 until the other person comes up with nothing more, of is finding it difficult to come up with anything else. Now ask... What level is this feeling out of ID? Is it okay if this level increases? And more? And more? Just for fun, is it okay if it increases to infinity out of ID? [Now rest for a minute, then swap round.]
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Getting sp ecific to create a brilliant day One of the most powerful ways of making your dreams happen is to get very clear what you want, and experience it happening now in your mind. This exercise is designed to help you clarify precisely what you want. Let's imagine you're meeting your mother for a coffee and a chat. Start by imagining that it will all go horribly wrong - a nightmare day. Let your imagination run wild. Write each 'bad' event on a separate line. Then write the 'perfect' equivalent in the right hand column. Mark any with a star (*) if you secretly think it will happen. My secret fears about today: • • • • • • • • • • • •
I leave home in a rush I get stuck in traffic I'm late My mum is late I'm in a grumpy mood She starts by moaning We wait forever to get served The coffee is cold and bitter We have a disagreement We leave in a huff I get home later than planned I moan to my partner about my day
My perfect day - How I want it to be: • • • • • • • • • • • •
I leave home feeling relaxed The roads are clear I arrive ahead of time My mum arrives on time I'm feeling in love with life My mum is full of the joys of spring We get served promptly and efficiently The coffee is hot and delicious We have a sweet, open, fun time together I feel really close and loving to my mum I get home in good time I enthuse about the day to my partner
Now it's your turn!. . .
Have you ever thought you'd have a challenging day in the past - and you were right? Well you just get to be right! It's you who has a major impact on how your day and your life is going to be. So imagine you'll have a wonderful day, and you'll get to be right about that! Does this take time? Yes, at first - but would you rather let your mind focus on what's not working in your life, worrying that your day may be a disaster, and moaning about how things should have been in the past - or would you rather build a wonderful day and life?
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Your p erfect day : examples Getting up • • • • • • • • • • • •
I jump out of bed feeling alive and well rested I stretch and notice how supple and flexible I am I look in the mirror and accept my body as it is I am fully accepting of the weather I am fully accepting of my car [or other mode of transport] I enjoy the journey, noticing the beauty of the scenery around me I am grateful for every breath I inhale I plan the day ahead I feel grateful for being alive I feel inspired about what I will achieve today I feel relaxed I can feel my body and it feels great
Going to the office • • • • • • • • • • •
I am awake and well nourished I smile as I open the front door to the office I feel inspired by the work I do I get on with what I need to and I enjoy doing it I do what I need to do with tenacity, resolve and clarity of intent I am resourceful around people I return all my calls promptly and resourcefully I am completely accepting of my colleagues I support my colleagues in every way I can I enjoy learning new things I add value to all the people I meet
Home in the evening • • • • • • • • •
•
I come home full of energy I feel great about the day I've just had, I accept it and move on I notice all the learnings I took from the day I have a fun, relaxed evening I approve of what I've done I speak openly with my loved ones I connect with my perfect spiritual soul mate at an even deeper level I am self accepting I go to bed, falling asleep quickly and deeply, knowing that I will wake up fully refreshed tomorrow I know I will dream sweet dreams
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Envisioning your p erfect life Use the space below to write down ideal ways you'd like aspects of your life to be using phrases from the previous 2 pages. For example... My children I am playful and fun with them, brimming with youthful energy My colleagues I see them as helpful, cooperative and resourceful Now it's your turn ...
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Future testimonial: example May 1 12pm Dear Chris, Since getting Effort-Free Life Gold my life has changed more dramatically than I could have ever conceived. I have never felt at such a constant level of high acceptance. Over April, when I did the Complete Acceptance Process, 99% of the time I was already around the 9-10 level and I reached infinite levels in less than a minute. The other 1 % I started around 7-8 but hit infinity faster as I became incredibly accepting that I didn't start higher than 8. I just couldn't lose. I have an amazing magical feeling that this month I will be starting even higher and reaching a bliss that I've never felt before as this morning started at 20. I am so awake and present. My confidence in myself has never been so high. Anyway let me tell you about the synchronicities, events and amazing achievements that have happened since I joined Gold:
Love + Home: Back in January Kate and I were getting on better than ever but over the past 4 months our relationship has hit new heights. We talk at a much deeper level with total trust, and we play all the time. We fancy each other more than we've ever fancied anyone before, and sex has been the best and most frequent it has ever been. We are there for each other yet we both live independently together. We both love the new place that I bought back in February and have settled in very well. Just found out that it has gone up in value over £20,000 since I bought it: what a great buy! It is so plush! We completed renovations on Kate's place back in early Feb and she now rents that out for over £750 per month.
Work + Investments As you well know, after Antony and Alex (my 2 business partners) became interested in the Effort Free Life System, they joined up and have both enjoyed the processes immensely. We all trust each other 110% and the businesses have never been so productive. Talent Focus has a new person heading it up and is getting a great name for itself in the industry with brilliant reviews in top magazines, and in April had its most profitable month ever (£60,000+). Urban Sofa is off the ground with Partners IBM and looks like we will make tens of millions next year. Zuko made me over £200,000 personally between January and May. Gung Ho the promotional Agency that we started back in January now has profits of over £20,000 per month. Light Rooms started in mid February and is already in profit and is looking to make its biggest month in May with projected profits of £60,000+. All my staff respect me and work well around me. The property in Chamonix is looking like a great investment. I wake up in the morning and can't wait to get into work. I have fun every day and can manage to see tens of miracles every day just at work alone. We have lots more in the pipeline.
Social Life itself seems to be one big recreation at the moment. Everyone I talk to really enjoys my company. It seems that I only have to think of someone and they call me. Kate and I had an amazing time in France in February, my snowboarding has reached a new level and I can board on blue slopes now. I have a parachute drop planned for this month and have already been paragliding last month. I am becoming closer to all my friends and everyone wants to be around me. I have become involved in helping charities and do this in a totally selfless accepting way. I just love to give. I also have an amazing holiday booked for Kate and me in August. Thanks for everything, Kenny
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Future testimonial: example May
1
Dear Chris, Before I signed up for the Gold Membership at LifeTools my life was pretty good. However, I found it difficult to fully appreciate what I have in my life including my job, my girlfriend, my family, my friends and myself! Now I have the ability to feel great and I don't need a specific reason. I have the ability to really appreciate all the smaller things in life, like waking up in the morning for one! Another really good thing is that I now see "problems" as opportunities to overcome rather than letting my emotions get negatively affected by the things that life brings up on a regular basis - I can just accept it and overcome anything! I find now that I don't put things off 1 just get on with it and things get done. I honestly don't know why I used to make such a fuss! Now all the trivial clutter in my mind has gone (such as putting off things I don't want to do) as I just get on with it - IT FEELS GREAT! -
Now my energy levels have been boosted and I have a zest for life and a real pride in who I am. I regularly attend the gym 4 times a week and have cultivated a fit and healthy mind and body. My work performance has increased drastically. Before my team were putting around £45,000 a month on the sales board. My LT & Engineering teams are now regularly billing at least £80,000 a month between them (on the board figures) so since doing the Gold Programme my performance figures have virtually doubled! This means that I am on course to earn £100,000 this year! I have also paid off £6,000 of my debt which keeps me on track for my target of paying off all my debts by the end of October (in five months time) - this makes me feel wonderful and I feel that I am getting in the position where I am financially secure which is my ultimate aim. I have also spent £2,000 on improving the quality of my home which is in addition to paying off my debt! Our house has now been valued at £16,500 more than what I bought it at in November 2002 (£118,500 18 months ago to
£135,000)
The most amazing thing that has happened to me is the relationship with my girlfriend. Before doing the Gold I was happy with my girlfriend. I did have a problem with commitment (I had been with her 7 years). Now I feel like I can commit to her and we are both bursting with happiness. We both get on even better when in each other's company. Our sex life before was good but now it is amazing! I never thought I could reach the heights of pleasure that I do now - neither can my girlfriend! One of the main issues I had was that I wanted to change her. I used to make excuses that she didn't work on herself as much as me, therefore I would give myself excuses that it was her fault if I didn't work on myself. Now I accept my girlfriend for who she is, and support her, as opposed to dominating her. My increased level of patience with my girlfriend, and other things in my life, has led to consistent happiness I once never thought possible. Jay Lale (written Jan
6, four months earlier)
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Limi ting beliefs Dozens and dozens of limiting beliefs which we have assembled for you to read through and rate out of 1 0 if the strength of that belief is 4 out of 1 0 or more. Men/women: relationships
I will never let a man / woman get close to me ever again. All the good(-looking) women / men are taken or are gay. I'm not lovable enough Intimacy hurts Relationships are such hard work - why bother? She's too good for me Men in relationships
All men are b*"·*ds. Men always break my heart Men are not trustworthy Men are only interested in sex Men are aggressive Men are obsessed with sport Men always Men never
I should be more assertive If I'm assertive I'll be rejected. I'm no good at negotiating. People don't really like me. A leopard can't change its spots. Nobody really cares about me. Working with others
People are reluctant to change People aren't reliable If I want a job done I have to do it myself. It takes more time to show someone else rather than do it myself I'm better than others I'm always right I know it all already I won't be able to cope with the responsibility.
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
Women in relationships
All women today are angry at men Frequency and quality of sex goes downhill when you get married Women emasculate men. Women are always complaining and moaning about men Women are so volatile. A woman's place is in the home. A wife should be a whiz in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. Parents
Parents never stop treating you like a child. Parents can never be friends. If my parents were dead I'll feel so much freer. My parents made me the way I am. My parents divorced so I'm more likely to go through a divorce as a result. I can't live up to what he (father) wants I need his love / acceptance My parents are frail and I cannot leave them. People in general
I am a pushover. People walk over me. They take advantage of me. No-one is interested in me. Everyone thinks I am stupid. People will steal from me. Most people are untrustworthy. People often take my kindness for a weakness
Deservedness
I'll never get what I want. I don't deserve to be happy all the time. Life isn't fair. It's hard work to get what I want The universe doesn't want me to be/have . . . (rich/happy / love etc) Karma Money
Our family is hopeless with money. Money doesn't grow on trees. If ] earn more money, someone else has to earn less. In order for me to have more, others have to suffer. It takes money to make money. If I can't feed all the poor in the world then it's not right for me to have anything. Money is the root of all evil. I should never feel angry. It's not spiritual to have wealth. I'm not willing for the extra stress involved in going for more money. I don't want to be rejected. I don't want to go for it and fall flat on my face. I couldn't handle it. I'm happy to earn enough just to get by. I earn enough to get by but I'll never be rich. I can't afford it. I don't have enough money. When I have more time/more money, then I'll . . . Money is a bother. Only selfish people have money. I can't afford to lose it. Money is success. Money is serious.
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Money is power. Money is security. It's uncomfortable to have money. Creative people don't deserve money. Money ruins good experiences. Money scares away lovers or brings them to me. Rich people get ripped off and/or kidnapped. It's wrong 'not' to make enough money. Money breeds alienation. Money is life. People in the caring professions shouldn't earn a lot of money. The only way to make more money is to prostitute my gifts. I don't have enough money. I have too much money. I owe too much money.
I'll never know enough. I'm a poor learner. I'm not skilled at anything - how could I be a success? Who am I to be a successs - that only happens to others. I'm too lazy to be successful. I don't know enough people. I'm not organised enough. Other people will do it better than me. I don't know how. There is too much choice these days. I am working class and no more. I will get it wrong. I am different to everyone else. I will go crazy and people will shun me. Things are going great-this can't last.
Living in the world
My body I need at least hours sleep to feel alert the next day. Exercise is hard work. It's a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not a morning person. If I lose weight and look attractive again I'll have a hard time dealing with the interest of men/women. How did I create this sickness? I always get a cold at this time of year. I get migraines when I'm stressed. I am too fat/thin.
We're all control freaks. I daren't risk being playful and spontaneous. There's never enough time. I can put it off until tomorrow. There's no point to life. There's nothing left for me to learn. Things never work out for me I'm a perfectionist. I'm too young/old. I don't have anything to wear. Children
With children you get more colds. Children get in the way of a relationship. Children should be seen and not heard. Children's development suffers when the mother is working full-time. My children need me. Sex
Sex is dirty. Sex is messy. Sex is not worth the time and energy I don't perform as well as [actor]. I'm not normal. Sex shouldn't be pleasurable. It's wrong to feel pleasure. I'm small. I don't give her pleasure. Sex should be as fabulous as it looks on TV and in the movies. Success
Nothing works for me. I'll never amount to anything. Women can't make it in the business world. You have to be ruthless to be really successful. You have to step on other people to be successful. I'll lose many of my friends if I become successful. It's hard for a black/gay/woman/young person to make it in this line of work. I don't know enough.
_
Spirituality
Everything has a purpose or reason. Nothing ever happens by accident. Once you're dead, you're dead. Once you're dead you live forever. Working on myself is hard work. I won't get into heaven. The world is real. The world is an illusion. Superstitions
If I [take my rabbit's foot], then 'x' will happen If I don't [take my rabbit's foot], then 'x' will happen. It's unlucky to walk under a ladder. Bad things happen on a Friday the 13th. Two bad things have happened to me today, and these come in threes. I'm waiting for the other show to drop. See a coin, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck. Don't step on a crack or you'll break your mother's back. I was born unlucky.
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Your limiting beliefs During your life you may have learned 'lessons' which have shaped the way you have responded to the world since then. We say "once bitten twice shy", and you may have more specific things you decided ... Tick, circle or underline any of the limiting beliefs on the previous 2 pages which ring true for you. If any really strike a chord, add a '*' or '**'. Now write at least 4 limiting beliefs below, copying them from that long list, or using ones very specific to you ... ... and rate the strength of each belief you still feel out of 10 in the Rate column. Rate
Re-rate
Have you noticed how right you are about these beliefs? In other words if you believe you are no good with money, can you see proof of that in your life? If so, you've proved just how right you are! Aren't you the clever one!! Would you rather be right - or great with money? Maybe it's time to discard these limiting beliefs ... Chose one of your limiting beliefs above, and ask yourself these questions ... What is your level of gratitude that part of your mind generated this limiting belief? What your mind generated in the past cannot be changed, so there's no point fighting the past. You might as well love the past. This unleashes your energy to create an effort free life. So, what is your level of gratitude that part of your mind generated this limiting belief? Say thank you to your mind for generating this limiting belief. Is it okay if this level of gratitude increases? What level is it at now? Is it okay if it increases again? And more? Re-rate this belief. Notice how you feel now compared with where you were before you started this exercise. You should start feeling a lot freer and happier over the next few days.
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New empowering beliefs Here is a list of new empowering beliefs based on the FELIX P Model... Focused
I am calm, centred and focused
I move through my day like a hot knife through butter
From a place of silent power I effortlessly achieve what I want
I am certain I achieve
__
by
(outcome)
__
(date) effortlessly
I am clear, calm and certain and I allow myself to be in the flow of life
All that I dream of comes to me
My intention is to achieve
__
(outcome) and I do this effortlessly
I am power, I am light and I achieve
__
(outcome)
I am organised, efficient and use my time to effortlessly achieve
__
I focus on the now
(outcome)
I trust myself and do what I needs to be done I clearly see my future and accept that the universe will provide
I am strong, determined and certain
My day is effortless as all that I need is provided Examining and curious
I am adventurous, bold and courageous
I see interesting and amazing things everywhere I look and I love discovering new things I effortlessly find answers to questions I have
Life is full of wonder and I explore new possibilities everyday I get to the bottom of events quickly and playfully
I effortlessly learn new things through my childlike curiosity
I am curious, I listen and I discover new things I am playful and I enjoy discovering the world
The world is intriguing, magical and waiting for me to discover it
I solve problems easily through my open-minded approach I trust the answers are there if I am willing to receive
I am curious, and each person I meet shows me something wonderful
I am playful, and I interact with the world joyfully
I am curious and examining, and the universe shows me the answers effortlessly I am curious and discover the answer to
_
(question) by
__
(date)
Loving and willing
I am loving and support people in my life I am willing and joyful in all that I do
I radiate warmth and love and people are drawn to me I care for, love and respect myself and others
Whatever comes my way today, I use it for the highest good I am happy to say yes to life as it comes back to me ten-fold
I trust the universe will provide because I am focused and curious
I am willing to allow abundance and miracles into my life
I am willing and seize every opportunity enthusiastically I am of service and am willing to support other people
I am love and I give love
My friends and family support me in my growth and in my goals
I am loving and am willing to allow (outcome) to happen by I am giving and generous in all areas of my life __
__
(date)
I effortlessly create willingness in myself and others
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New empowering beliefs (continued) I n awe
am amazed by the miracles around me everyday see beauty in all that I do My body is a miracle and I honour and respect it I am amazed to be part of the delicate intricacies the universe creates I am magnificent, perfect and infinite just as I am I am left breathless every time I touch my partner's body at the beauty of creation I live my day like a playful child discovering the secrets of the world I am astonished and thankful for all that I have in my life I open my eyes to the beauty of the world I am in awe of the miracles that fall into my lap easily and effortlessly I am in awe of the new power I have in my life to create my dreams effortlessly I am willing for miracles to happen as of now I explore my universe and all that is in it I am in awe of the people around me, and see beautiful qualities in each of them I tingle all over at the miracles in my life I
I
Flexible I am flexible I respond to each moment with willingness and flexibility I am in the flow of life and take opportunities that arise I see opportunities all around me to enable me to effortlessly create my outcome I will create (outcome) by (date), and I am flexible in my plan I effortlessly adapt to changing situations and use the change for the highest good I am clear, calm and certain and I allow myself to be flexible and trusting I make plans, allow flexibility, and trust I will achieve my outcome I am open-minded and see infinite opportunities arise each day I create from an inspired place, and I respond to change I see each unexpected change as an opportunity to learn something new I have no attachments and trust myself completely I am open to change and respond effectively and clearly I allow life to flow around me Each day brings new opportunities and openings for me to learn __
__
Playful I am playful Life is a game and I am a player Life is fun and I celebrate my life I am playful and light, and my life flows effortlessly I will create (outcome) by (date) by being playful and flexible I am inquisitive and playful and allow a miracle into my life now I am playful and creative and effortlessly create (outcome) by (date) I seize each moment to play and interact with the universe I am light, playful and good humoured The game of life is effortless to me Playfulness is effortless I am playful in all my interactions I am a playful and inquisitive lover I am playful, and the universe is playful too __
__
__
__
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Installing new empowering beliefs Now re-write the beliefs below. For example ... Money flows easily into my life I easily tell funny stories and anecdotes I feel at ease with myself I am free of my past Now write at least 4 of your empowering beliefs below... ... and rate the strength of each belief you still feel out of 1 0 in the Rate column. Rate
Re-rate
Taking each empowering belief in turn, ask yourself... How strongly do you believe this empowering belief out of 1O? Is it okay with you if the strength of this belief increases? Remember to breathe deeply. How strongly do you believe this empowering belief now out of 10? Is it okay it this increases? Is it okay if it increases some more? Notice how you feel now. Re-rate each belief. Write down any insights you have on page 68.
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Life shocks Almost all of us have told stories about events which appear to have shaped our lives. Some call these 'life shocks'. These are generally sad or unhappy memories - and often they define the way we see the world and act in it. Your earliest memory could be a life shock. Here are some examples • I got very hurt when a boyfriend / girlfriend left me • I was very upset when a close friend died • I was very scared when... • I felt very let down when ... • I made a serious mistake by... and /or • the birth of another child in the fami!y • your parents getting divorced • an unkind comment from a teacher Write a few of these below, then rate their 'shock value' out of 10. Shock
Re-rate
The human mind sees more downsides than upsides to traumatic events in the past. This is a distortion because, if you're prepared to look deeply, you'll see that there are just as many upsides as downsides. Really. To see that this is true for you, pick an event from your past and use the People Process exercise on page 65, then re-rate that event out of 1 0 and put those figures in the Re-rate column. If you can, cover the Shock column with your other hand as you re-rate. Did the 'shock value' reduce at all? ... and by a small or large amount? Write any insights down on this page or at the back of this Playbook.
so
Getting things started and / or finished When we start something worthwhile, it is natural to experience resistance. We can get sidetracked, may question our abilities and talents, and may feel we "have" to do it. This creates tension inside us, stress that keeps us out of a resourceful acceptance state. When we "name the game" and get clear on the loose ends in our lives, some which do not require much effort to finish off, we feel more complete and we feel more empowered to write down and achieve our goals next time. Please tick the things in your life that you have not yet completed: WRITING
Write to an old school friend Complete a book I've started to write Get writing ideas into chapter headings Approach a publisher Proof a manuscript Write down the ideas I have in my head Write a letter and send my grandmother a few photos Fill in my tax return READING
Finish a book I've started to read Read my goals out loud each day Read a magazine that's been hanging around for ages CLEARING OUT JUNK
Sell off my oid music albums or give them to a charity shop Pull out any old clothes I've not worn in 2 years or more, wash them and take them to a local charity shop Tidy the house
Here are some more, written by Effort-Freer Richard Haggerty. Use them as ideas for creating your own lists... CREATIVITY
Continue Learn to Draw course Book on an intuition seminar in Wales with Michael Bradford Finish reading Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain Write down my goals as I experience them Visualise what I want, even though I know it helps Write down my love poems Share my poems with people MAKING A PHONE CALL
SI
Phone my grandmother up Call a friend I have not spoken to for a while Call a hot coaching prospect for a regular supplementary income STUDYING
Finish my Tarot Course, which I did 5 lessons of and was getting 90% in! Book on NLP Master Practitioner and work out my finance plan for that Finish listening to and applying my current tape set HOUSEHOLD CHORES
Pump up the tyres on my bike Tidy my room Do the washing up Mop the bathroom Vacuum my room Open and use my brand new iron and ironing board HOBBIES AND RECREATION
Send off my trainspotter's form Book my dream holiday to Peru Call to order the brochure for singles holidays Find a partner to play squash with JOB APPLICATION
Research Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM) Ask for CIM forms to be sent to my home address Contact my oid coaching clients for business and referrals Update my CV with my latest achievements List all my key skills Share my job hunting experience with my sister EXERCISE
Do my Qigong morning exercises for energy Jog daily Fix my mountain bike's punctures Order and choose a new pair of trainers from my brochure
S1
What I will start or finish Create your list of things to start or finish, perhaps based on the previous 2 pages. Write as quickly as you can. Once you've done your list, put a deadline date after one or more of them. Remember to put the year! For example: "by October 15, [specify year]" .
Travelling light - clean up your incompletes You can realise your dreams faster if you 'travel light' - by finishing off all those unfinished jobs that are clogging up • your house • your desk • your head! For example... • piles of unread magazines • piles of papers, letters, brochures • unfinished decorating [One of the tricks I have is to go through a pile of magazines, rip out 1 or 2 important / interesting articles, file them, then throw the rest of the mag away.] You will create miracles as you begin to clean these up once and for all! What for you is incomplete? And commit after each one, eg you could write in the left column : ''I'll throw away 1 0 pieces of paper or more each day", and in the right: "Every day until October 6, [specify year]." My incompletes
My commitment
Notice any resistance to completing any of these tasks - and let it melt away!
54
Miracles I have created / heard of in the p ast I want you to consider seriously that you really can create miracles. Cast your mind back into your past ... What amazing things have happened to you - or even to people you know? Here are some memory joggers ... • Coming into money • Getting a job • Meeting a new friend for the first time • How you met your current partner or a previous a boyfriend / girlfriend • 'Coincidence' meetings • How you got into a particular hobby or interest
Now you write some below...
Well done!
Now note any insights you have below, for example: "I now realise that I have created miracles in the past - and if I did it then, I can do it again!"
ss
Logging miracles' I
As you clean up incompletes, and increase your acceptance of everything, you'll start to create miracles. And to guarantee that you spot these, you'll need to log them daily. Each evening, write today's date followed by two or more 'miracles'. On days you focus more on incompletes and acceptance you may notice that you can't help but write 4, 5 or more great things that have happened that day. Here are some examples ... I drove home and noticed the trees. I rang my wife or partner to tell her I love her. I woke up this morning happy, contented and positive. I thought of my school friend Noel who I haven't spoken to in years - and he rang me 10 minutes later! Start right now! . . .
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Logging miracles: examples Here are some examples from client Richard Haggerty's Miracles list. I asked Richard to write these out in more detail than you would need to do on your own list because I wanted you to see how easy it is to create wonderful miracles yourself... •
• •
•
•
•
•
•
All bank and credit card statements filed together for the first time. 3 banks statement were totally unopened and in various drawers and they were even in kitchen drawers. I sorted out 5 bins loads of waste paper in my small room in the last week. I wrote to my friend Martin in France (I've put this off since December). It took just 3 minutes start to finish from having the thought "I should write to you sometime!!" My tax return has looked intimidating for me and I had put off doing this for at least 8 weeks. I used techniques from PhotoReading to complete it. I found my P45s and P60 in about 45 mins and enjoyed it. That small amount of effort means I am now getting a £400 rebate. Not bad for 45 mins work! Student Loan Deferment - all I had to do was give one signature and ask for one from a work colleague! I put this off for months! freed a shelf in my room by giving away 2 shirts to Oxfam and within 3 hours my housemate gave me a Play Station 2 to borrow indefinitely (I wanted a DVD player). He said to me, "I've just got a DVD player and don't have room for this. Is it okay if you keep it for the time being?" This plays all the DVD films I want. I had made room for the new by casting out the old. I
One of my housemates, when I asked his advice on how to repair a slashed tyre on my bike, went out and bought a new inner tube, tyre, paid for it, fitted it and pumped up the tyre. He also fixed my brakes. I mean he did the lot. Nail clippers suddenly reappeared after 5 weeks when I was in acceptance that it was okay not to search for them. I had turned over the drawer in question. They are in a large distinct 3 inch by 2 inch nail kit so are easy enough to see.
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Miracles: new windows and bathroom! Here are further miracles that would benefit from being explained in detail: As Richard Haggerty was using the Complete Acceptance Process a curious thing happened to him. He went into his house and started to clear out one drawer in his room. Over 9 days he got rid of several bin bags of waste paper and also started to clean the bathroom and kitchen out. He cleaned out all his drawers of old paper, wrappers, tickets, bills, receipts, all sorts of junk that did not serve him now. As he did so, he says that "I started to feel a lighter energy in the house as the rubbish was cleared out." What he was actually doing was making space for something new. In his own words: "I feel totally in control now I know where everything is. I used to panic at not knowing where the right bank statement was. I
Richard Haggerty with the Playstation 2 he was given
enjoyed the house more and felt motivated to clean
after setting an intention to get a new OVD player
it thoroughly top to bottom. I vacuumed upstairs
(the PS2 plays DVDs as well as games)
and downstairs, the bathroom and kitchen. Then set to work with a mop, cleaned the kitchen surfaces and felt good that the place was more comfortable. "The house had previously been neglected for several years due to complacency on the part of our landlord. Curiously, the landlord must have picked up that I had started to take more care of it. "He had been promising since I moved in to give us new windows and a bathroom but nothing had happened. He noticed that the house was cleaner and unbeknownst to me has taken action to capitalise on his newfound tidy tenants. I turned up yesterday to find new windows throughout the house and a new bathroom on order! "Interestingly as I've been doing this course, the energy in the house has changed. For example, one of my housemates called Mark has now bought a computer to learn PC skills. His lack of any computer skills was stopping him getting a managerial post in the area he excels in. Another guy has decided it is time to stop complaining about being overweight, and has started a strict diet and exercise regime to trim the fat around his tummy." Richard also told me that he wanted a DVD player. "I manifested my dream OVD Player within
days. It cost time and imagination and 1 enjoyed 'paying the price' in one evening.
"I decided tonight that I wanted to keep the
use his new PC properly. We agreed that he would let me keep the PS2 in exchange for me sharing my skills with him."
"I proposed to him that 1 be his guide, after
free 2 hours tutoring his new cutting edge PC, in which he went from thinking a mouse was furry animal and not being able to click on and start an application with confidence, he could use the PC with confidence." "He was thrilled to bits with his progress. He now does not have to travel to learn the PC and he is so diSciplined, his success is a done deal. "And I've got the PS2! It just shows, 'ask and ye shall receive.'"
"Now how's that for a miracle! 1 am always
happy to give to those I love. And now the Universe is showing me that we get 10 times back what we give." Richard says that he feels a lot of love in the house now, is writing down his miracles as they happen and really feels a deep sense of gratitude as a result. Please send us in your miracles with photos to
[email protected]. We would love to see them, however small they may appear to you. Even if you are only half way through a camera film, we urge you to send the film in. We will process it for you and send you a new film. Do send us your stories: sharing is a great way to
Play Station 2 (PS2) that my housemate Mark had
get you clearer on what's workiing brilliantly in
lent me - fairly! He told me he wanted to learn to
this programme.
S8
The ROBERTA Model questions You can guide yourself or a colleague through this full ROBERTA process in 3-6 minutes.
So, what is your level of gratitude that part of your mind generated this limiting belief?
The first step in the ROBERTA Model is R:
Say thank you to your mind for generating
Rest in the Now.
this limiting belief.
We'll start with the 5-In, 5-0ut breathing
Is it okay if this level of gratitude increases?
technique: so breathe in for 5 seconds and out
What level is it at now?
for 5 seconds. And again: in for 5 seconds, and
Is it okay if it increases again? And more?
out for 5 seconds.
Notice how you feel now compared with
What is something you can feel grateful for
where you were before this session started.
right now? For example, your health. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is wishing that it
The fourth step is E for empowering. Think
was completely different, and 10 is a feeling of
of an empowering belief to replace the
gratitude that brings a tear to your eye, where
limiting belief your mind generated.
'
'
are you right now? Is it okay if this level of gratitude increases?
How strongly do you believe this empowering
And more? And more? And more?
belief out of 1O? Is it okay with you if the strength of this belief
Notice how you feel right now. Do you feel
increases?
different to how you felt before you started
Remember to breathe deeply.
this session? If so, in what way?
How strongly do you believe this empowering belief now out of ID?
Let's move to 0 for Outcome ...
Is it okay it this increases?
Imagine a day in the future, or a time later
Is it okay if it increases some more?
today, when you are feeling inspired and in
Notice how you feel now.
love with life. Imagine you're there right now. What are you seeing happening, or what are
Step 5 is 'R' for rung: identify your precise
you doing, that makes you feel so inspired?
next step.
What are you hearing?
Bring to mind a precise next step you can take
What are you feeling?
which will move you towards your ideal outcome.
What is the level of this feeling out of ID?
Be as specific as you can and make this step as
If you are feeling 'at peace', the question is,
small and easily manageable as possible.
how at peace do you feel right now? Step six is 'T' for take the next step. Is it okay if this level increases?
Imagine yourself taking this next step. What is
And is it okay if it increases some more?
your level of certainty that you will take this next step?
Notice how you are feeling now. Well done.
And is it okay if this certainty increases?
On to B for Limiting Belief...
What is your level of certainty that you will
Identify a limiting Belief that might be in the
take this next step?
way of you creating this ideal outcome.
And is it okay if this increases?
What is your level of gratitude that part of
The final step is 'N: allow for a miracle.
your mind generated this limiting belief?
Is it okay if a miracle happens to you on your
What your mind generated in the past cannot
way to reaching your outcome?
be changed, so there's no point fighting the
What is your level of trust that a miracle will
past. You might as well love the past. This
happen?
unleashes your energy to create an effort-free
Is it okay if this level of trust increases?
life.
And again? And again? Well done.
S9
My
2
major goals
goal can be one that you can accomplish in the next week - or it can be a bigger goal, such as writing and completing a book, or making £ / $1 00,000 on the stock market by December 31, [state year]. The important thing is to be clear. If at all possible, make each goal realisable by the end of 7 days, so in the case of a book, you could write an outline in the next week or, in the case of a money goal, to have a written plan, or invest a specific sum in new stocks by the end of the next 7 days. A
Write each goal in the present tense. For example:
I have completed the detailed outline for my new book which I know will be a best seller. And it was so easy to do! Now that I have it, I feel relaxed, inspired, and in love with life.
Goal 1
Now I have it, I feel...
Goal 2
Now I have it, I feel...
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Precise Next Ste p s I can take this week For each goal, create a list of small, specific tasks you could do to take you forward with each goal. Be creative, crazy - and get help! In other words, ask others for simple, practical suggestions of things you can do. Put a 1-3 word summary of each goal against Goal 1 and 2. For example: "detailed book outline" Goal 1 :
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Goal 2:
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
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My promises to myself If you agree to tick all the following boxes, these agreements will take you no more than 10 minutes a day to complete! ! I promise that, n o matter what, I will d o the following for the next two weeks. . . [ 1 read m y goals when I wake u p every morning or before noon. I experience one defined goal clearly in my mind for 1 5 seconds or more [ 1 do 3 minutes or more using the Complete Acceptance Process every morning before noon [ 1 do 3 minutes or more of this process every evening after 6pm and before I go to sleep [ 1 do
1
action each day towards my defined goal, even if it takes just 15 seconds to do
[ 1 write down two or more 'miracles' from the day every evening [ 1 spend 30 seconds or more feeling grateful for what I have in my life right now [ 1 spend 1 5 seconds or more each day on each of the following two goals:
for example: delete 2 or more old emails every day I realise the importance of keeping my word. If I miss one of these promises I will 'clean up' by doing the following:
for example: I will spend 1 hour cleaning out the garage within 7 days
Signed
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ _
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Daily agreements for an effort-free life Name:
_ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _
Daily
Do?
Start date: 1
_ _ _ _ _
2
3
End date: 4
_ __ _ _
5
6
7
'See' your Perfect Day 3-min Accept (before noon) - accept a limiting belief - strengthen empowering belief
- I allow a miracle to happen 3-min Accept (6pm-bedtime) People Process (1 person) Read the 2 goals Goal
1:
Goal
1 : visualise for 15 secs
Goal 2: Goal 2: visualise for
action
action
15 secs
Write 2+ miracles 30 seconds of gratitude
3 things I've been putting off which I'll complete by the end of Sunday: Done? Done? Done? Matrix explained: See your perfect day happening effortlessly. Gratitude: I'm thankful to my parents who've supported me financially; 'x' person lending me a car when I was younger; 'y' person who gave me money when I didn't have much. Miracles: aim to write 2 or more "wonderfully unexpected happenings" Accept a limiting belief: e.g. I don't have enough money Strengthen an empowering belief: e.g. All the money I desire comes easily into my life.
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People in my life Name
Relationship
Level of acceptance
Level of acceptance
Change
:= .
-
•
�
Fold the sheet vertically, then fold it back to hide your original scores so you can rerate the people in your life aif!fer doing the People Process on a f= of t/zem. You'll probably find that your acceptance level of many or most of them has increased!
Total:
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The People Process The version below includes some different ways to get you into a place of acceptance, love and gratitude which are not mel!tioned on the CDs. Bring to mind someone you love deeply, perhaps the person you love the deepest of
your money situation? your career? your personal growth? your partner/ romance situation? your relationship with your friends and family?
all...
your health?
What is your level of love for this person out
your physical space?
of 1O? Is it okay if this level increases? And more? And more? Bring to mind a person you have had an emotional reaction to . . . How would you describe them in a non-loving way? Use one word if possible. What's true is that every person has every character trait, and to the same degree. Do you see your Loved One as having the same trait to exactly the same degree as your Challenger? Yes? If not, think of a time in the past when your Loved One had the same character trait as your Challenger. And another. And another. Can you see that your Loved One is just the same? And yet you still love them? If you can love your Loved One deeply even though they have the same trait as your Challenger then could you conceivably love your Challenger just as much? Yes? Does that feel different? In what way?
Think of a time when your Challenger was acting in a way which you have judged until now... Coming back to the present moment, what are
your fun and recreation?
Pause this track if necessary to think of all the ways their behaviour has served you... Know that, no matter how many downsides you see to this person acting that way, there are just as many upsides, because the world is always in balance. So how has them acting that way served you? How else? How else? Can you now feel a sense of gratitude for this person? What is your level of gratitude for this person? Bring a number to mind and breathe. Is it okay with you if this level increases? And more? What is your level of love for them? Is it OK with you if this level increases? And more? Is it okay with you, just for now, if your level of gratitude and love reaches infinity out of ten? Imagine your heart opening. Imagine an infinitely powerful beam of love shining out from your heart to all the people you love deeply. Allow this feeling of love to intensify. Extend this love out to everyone in the world, including to your Challenger. Notice how you feel right now. Do this for as long as you feel comfortable, then rest.
the Partly Hidden Upsides to this person having behaved that way? How has them acting that way served you? Look at this under 8 headings... How has them acting that way improved ...
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"Where are you now?" revisited Congratulations on completing this programme. I'm sure you've learnt a lot in the process. Let's see where you are now. Please rate the following statements out of 10. out of 10
Please rate these statements I feel in love with my life I know where I'm going I see the way ahead clearly I can ask for help easily I feel good about myself I am self critical I give myself a hard time I am happy with myself as I am I am happy in my job I feel in control of my life
Please rate the... Clari ty of your goals Direction in life Current energy level Current happiness level Current stress level Current anxiety level Relationship with your partner Relationship with your mother Relationship with your father Relationship with your children Relationship with your friends Relationship with your work colleagues (if one colleague would get a low rating. put this lowest rating down) Add any others you see fit
Now please compare the ratings for this page with what you wrote before.
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Glossary Acceptance: Being able to live in the moment and surrender totally to it. Being free of your addictions to food, water, being hurt or right. A state of bliss, euphoria and gratitude. Currency conversion: The currency exchange rate can fluctuate over a wide range over a year. £lused to equate to US$1.40, but it is currently US$1.75. So £20,000 equates to US$35,000. (A quick way is to double the amount in pounds and reduce roughly by a fifth.) £1 also equates to Australian $2.4, so £20,000 equates to AUS$48,000. There is an online converter at: http://www.xe.com/ucc Feet: Plural of foot, a UK measure of distance; 12 inches make a foot. Groundhog Day: A film starring Bill Murray and Andy McDowell. Murray plays a character called Phi] Connors who repeats the same day over and over again. Wonderful. Available on DVD to rent or buy at a budget price. Inch: 2.54cm LifeTools: Well-established UK-based personal growth company, owned by Serenity Sounds Ltd, which specialises in cutting edge technologies, tapes, strategies and ideas to help you live the life you want. Visit www.Wetools.com. Miracle: Anything out of the ordinary that serves to enrich your soul. The Universe provides you with something after you have thought about it: a mysterious coincidence. MindLab: A light and sound device, the latest generation of which is the Mind Lab Procyon. This uses pulsing light and sound to produce alpha, theta or delta brain wave patterns by "entraining" to the light frequency. Resistance: The opposite of acceptance. If you've been anxious, sad, etc for more than a few minutes, you're most likely to be resisting, otherwise that feeling would have melted away. Resistance can be easily dissolved using the Complete Acceptance Process. Sixth Sense: A film starring Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osment... Willis stars as a child psychologist who is trying to help and ll-year-old boy who says he sees ghosts. A wonderful thriller. Stone: A UK measure of weight. There are 14 pounds in 1 stone, and 2.2 pounds make 1 kilo, so 1 stone is 6.36 kilos. Someone who weighs 1 1 stone weighs 154 pounds or 70 kilos.
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Waking Life: A film directed by Richard Linklater, quoted on the CDs. Available on DVD to rent or buy.
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Shifts in state - and insights If you feel different in general, or about an issue - or you have gained an insight about your life, write it down below with a date and time. For example: "September 19, [specify year]: At first I felt a bit down, then I did the Complete Acceptance Process for 3 minutes, and felt light, free and full of energy. I thought of Roland, rang him up, and he has offered me 3 weeks of work at my full rate. Ha! I've been putting off ringing him for a month!"
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Aha! notes
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