#CDFragments XXIV. The in-between (part one)

XXXIII. The in-between (part one) Dawn made it home at 3AM.Normally, the only thing that she would like to do at this time is crawl under the covers, beside her husband, and stay there for as long as her schedule the following day would permit.But she went straight to the kitchen instead, telling the household help who waited up for her to get some sleep. She decided to make hot choco for herself, and some more for the kids' breakfast, hoping to calm herself down.One cup ran out too fast and still she felt uneasy, clueless as to where she should head, and even thought of sleeping at the couch in the living room. She just couldn't be beside Anton tonight.Because it wasn't like any of the past nights (or mornings) she spent in taping. It didn't used to be that happy. ~~~ They arrived at Plaza Ibarra at 6PM, after getting caught in starts and stops, courtesy of rush hour. Richard stayed still with Ayisha for a few minutes until he was really awake, then took the child in his arms, carrying her to the front row of the backseat, where the yaya was already seated. As the nanny was taking her away, Ayisha mumbled a sleepy "No," making both Richard and Dawn smile. He kissed the kid on the cheek and placed her beside the yaya, leaving Dawn at the parking area to send them home. He was told that they were having their dinner break at 6:30, so he went to get changed at the men's dressing area... only to get out of the bathroom and see Dawn—her back to him—tugging at the back zipper of the draped silk chiffon Cary Santiago terno she was made to wear that day. He approached, gently tapped her hands away from her back. "Ako na," he said softly, lowering the stubborn zipper just an inch. "Nasaan ang pamalit mo?" "Nandito daw eh." "Sure ka?" She looked around for her bags at the make-up tables, and they were nowhere in sight. "Hala ka, nasaan?" "Can I just say something?" She looked at him. "This is the men's

changing area, Dawn." He tried not to laugh at the reaction on her face, but really couldn't hold the smile forming on his lips. "The women's dressing room, right across." "Bakit hindi mo sinabi agad?" she exclaimed, slapping his arm. "'Di naman ako puwedeng lumabas nang—" She tried reaching for the zipper again. "Ako na po ang kukuha, Señora Emily..." He could tell that she was trying not to laugh at her little mishap. "'Wag mo nga akong ma-Señora Emily diyan. Paki—" He was heading to the door before she could even finish, and was back immediately, handing her the clothes on the hanger. As they were both headed to the doors—he to leave her alone in the room, she to the bathroom—he turned and said, "Let's have dinner." "Sige, bihis lang ako." He remained by the doorway. "Puwede ka nang mauna sa buffet table, check mo—" "I mean, dinner... outside." "Eh 'di ba reception naman ito? Wala bang pagkain?" "Meron, pero Dawn, sawang sawa na ako sa catered food. Malapit lang dito 'yung favorite kong restaurant." "O, sige... Hintayin n'yo na lang ako sa labas. Mabilis lang ako." She noticed the smile he was trying to hide. "Ano, Richard?" "I was thinking, just the two of us." "Sus, 'yun lang pala. Sige, magbibihis lang ako, Marco." She closed the bathroom door. ~~~ "Ang ganda naman dito," she said as they took their seats, her eyes captivated by the intricate interiors of the place—Thaipan, a glass-walled restaurant tucked in a quiet corner of Tomas Morato, and one of Richard's

favorites. "Mas maganda ka," he answered, pretending to sift through messages on his phone for a moment before looking up at her. "'Wag mo na nga akong bolahin," she said as the waiter approached. Indeed, there was something about her look that day that reminded him of how she looked at Marco and Emily's wedding. Her hair still bound in a simple bun, but without the flower accent that came with her terno and her earrings. And that smile of hers, of course. He turned to the waiter and went on with a series of names of dishes, some of which she wasn't familiar with, that he had ordered in via phone while waiting for her outside the dressing area. She knew there was Pad Thai, which she liked, but not much else. That was usually the case, Dawn couldn't help but remember, when Richard would take over certain situations—ordering at a restaurant, hailing a cab (especially when he did in New York, where they headed after their visit to her father and her younger brother), forcing her to drink her medicine whenever she was sick. She would be at a loss, watching him talk but not absorbing much, somewhat caught in the way his lips, eyes, and eyebrows would move, how he would nod when all was settled, and frown at small interferences. "Dawn, Thai Iced Tea?" He kicked her foot gently under the table. "Uy." "Ha?" "You want Thai iced tea? Masarap—" "Okay." He talked to the waiter once more, then sent him off with a smile and a nod. "So..." "Ang ganda ng kasal nina Daniel at Katerina, 'no?" "'Yung atin— 'Yung kina Marco at Emily din naman ha." "Mas naging maganda sana 'yun kung sumama ka sa San Francisco." She frowned, in that adorable way that she does when she's not really serious. "Ikaw kasi, 'di ka sumipot. Ang ganda ganda ng plano nila for the wedding

and the honeymoon, tapos gano'n? Kaya mabe-blame mo ba 'yung mga junakers mong Penguins nu'ng nagalit?" He reached for her hand across the table. "'Yun ba talaga ang ikinatatampo mo? Na nagalit sila?" She tapped his hand as she laughed. "Sira ulo ka, galit ako sa'yo no'n, 'di ba?" "Ang dali kasing uminit ng ulo mo." "Sino ba namang 'di iinit ang ulo? Akala ko ba partners tayo? Partners, pero 'di ka nagsabi sa akin." "Magpapaliwanag naman talaga ako, eh." "Kailan? Kapag nasa airport na? Pupunta—" Two glasses of Thai Iced Tea arrived on the table, along with a plate of betel leaves with fresh spices and roasted grated coconut, served with palm sugar sauce. "What's this?"

"Mieng Kham." He took the plate and arranged one of the leaves for her, then offered it up to her lips. When she hesitated, he said, "Sige na..." He watched for her reaction as she chewed, and only when she broke into a smile and gave him a thumbs-up did he make one for himself. "Nakalimutan mong picture-an!" Dawn said as she took a sip of the iced tea. "Ay, Goms, ang sarap ito..." He smiled, his eyes on the iPhone screen as he took a photo of the remaining appetizer. "You know, I still like it when you call me Richard." "Seryoso ako when I call you Richard, 'di ba? O galit. Gaya nu'ng nag-back out ka sa pagpunta natin sa San Francisco." "Basta gusto ko 'yung Richard." "Frank, gusto mo?" He laughed as the Pad Thai arrived on the table. "Pinatatanda mo naman ako," he said as he put some on her plate.

"Matanda ka na naman talaga," she said, looking at his face. "Tumanda na tayo." He looked up and smiled. "Hindi halata sa'yo, Rachel." She arranged a neat spoonful and smiled back. "Haay naku, gutom lang 'yan." ~~~ Full after that sumptuous meal—punctuated by a fun conversation, as was usual to them when they were alone—they sat in silence as they drove back to Plaza Ibarra, Richard reaching for Dawn's hand as he turned the car to the busy strip of Tomas Morato. She didn't pull away, simply gave his hand a light squeeze, as one of their favorite songs came on. There were a lot of nights like that, decades ago, and both of them wondered if the other was thinking the same way. Of the nights that they spent driving, sometimes just for the heck of it, so they could hold hands on the way and sit in comfortable quiet. Or when they're on the way home after a fight, only to have it resolved on the way, only by holding hands. He liked her hand, soft to the touch, and she liked how his held hers in a way that let her know that she was safe with him. That he wasn't going to let her go. They made it back to the set five minutes late and were swayed away to the opposite dressing areas so they could put their wardrobes back on. One more scene and they were calling it a night. Both of them thought, but wouldn't say, that they wished that wasn't the case just yet