#CDFragments XIII. Apart, in part

XIII. Apart, in part Richard was trying to catch some extra sleep inside the tent when he heard Dawn asking people where he was. He came to the set early after dropping Juliana off to her friend's house and the shoot wasn't going to start until after at least an hour. True to her punctual fashion, Dawn was there 15 minutes early... or she must've arrived while he was napping, for she seemed to have heard the news. He listened to the murmurs outside. He heard the production assistant tell Dawn that Richard was sleeping. And of course, that would send her storming inside the tent they shared. "Hindi ka sasama sa San Francisco?" was the first thing that popped out of her mouth. "Good morning din," he replied. "Sumagot ka." He sighed. "Hindi na. May kailangan akong asikasuhin dito." She locked the door and approached him. He knew she was going to give him that look, so he pretended to browse messages on his phone. He could tell that the news had upset her, especially since he didn't intend to tell her. The trip was three days away. "Akala ko ba okay na tayo?" she asked quietly after a while. "Look," he said, staring back at her. "You can't assume na lahat ng kilos ko ay dahil sa'yo, Dawn." "How can I not?!" She took a deep breath in an attempt to lower her voice. "You annoy me with all of your recycled feelings, you kiss me like it was 20 years ago, ginugulo mo ang utak ko!" "Hindi ka naman siguro maguguluhan kung sigurado ka sa gusto mo," he chided and stood up to open the door. "Sir Richard, mag-ready na daw po kayo ni Ms. Dawn for the first sequence." He nodded and when the production assistant left, he turned

to Dawn. "Mag-ready ka na daw," he said before walking out, trying his best not to slam the door. ~~~ There were days when Richard could just stare at Dawn and do nothing else. It was the first time that he would be given the chance to really do so. They were both taking a few days off of work and she came to his place immediately after finishing with her last commitment of the week. She didn't say much --- just showed up at his door, went right into his embrace, and plopped on the couch, taking her heels off. She fell asleep as they were lying on the sofa that lazy afternoon, his arm her pillow. Careful not to wake her up, he would ever so often prop himself up slightly so he could see her face. He kissed her shoulder, then her neck (his favorite spot for some reason that they both attribute to her cologne), which woke her up. "Hmmm?" she asked, her eyes barely open as she turned to him. The faint sunlight that came through the window curtains gave her an extra glow. She smiled and Richard felt as if his heart had dropped. "Move in with me," he said. Dawn's eyes went wide open. "A... an... ano?!" He swore she would've bolted up the couch if he wasn't holding her close by the waist. "Dito ka na lang, kasama ko." A nervous laugh. "Hindi magandang biro 'yan." "Sinong nagsabing nagbibiro ako?" He kissed her softly. "I want you here." "Babe, ha." By then she had sat up, looking at him intently. "Seryoso ka ba?" "Oo." He held her hand. "Bakit, ayaw mo ba?" She was silent for a while, her eyes on their hands. Living alone could get lonely sometimes, but she liked having her own space. And she and

Richard have only been dating for four months. He pulled her closer, her back resting on his body, as he made his case. "If you're not comfortable with the idea, you can just tell me. I just thought na since we're both living alone, and you're almost always here when you don't have to work... and madalas we're apart dahil sa trabaho..." He sighed and kissed her hair, then whispered, "I just want to spend more time with you. I want you here, where I know you're safe. Kung saan maaalagaan kita." "Don't you think that's going too fast?" He laughed. "Ngayon mo pa ibi-bring up 'yan, ha?" He made her face him, and kissed her nose. "Ano 'yung sabi ko sa'yo dati?" "'yung napaka-romantic na 'Girlfriend na kita'?" "Haay naku, pilosopo." He pressed his forehead against hers. "'Di ba, it's us, love --- you and I? So move in with me. Please?" When Richard Gomez swoons you like that and kisses you the way he does, there is no turning back. Dawn was well-aware of that fact and she let herself be swept, even when she had reservations. It might not be a good idea, but she loved him. Very much. Perhaps that was all that had to matter. ~~~ "Si Dawn?" Vivian asked, arriving on the set in time for the first sequence. Richard was standing beside the monitor with the director, watching the scene that Coco had just shot with Ms. Susan. "Sa tent?" he answered. "May topak na naman eh." "Ano na namang ginawa mo?" "Bakit laging ako?!" The director couldn't help but laugh. ~~~

"Sir Richard," the production assistant whispered as he waited for the next scene. "Telephone po, si Vivian daw mo, manager ni Ms. Dawn." He and Dawn had fought earlier that day and they both left home angry. He would've preferred not to take the call, but other cast members were already looking at him. He walked to the side of the room, where the telephone was. "O, Viv?" "Goma, nandito si Dawn sa akin ha. Hindi ko na pinatuloy sa shoot, masama pala ang pakiramdam." "Anong masama ang pakiramdam?" "Kayo ang magkasama sa bahay, hindi mo alam?" He lowered his voice. "Ginyera na naman ako ng alaga mo eh." Vivian sighed. "Nahihilo daw kanina pa." "Sige. I'll just do one more scene dito tapos pupuntahan ko na siya diyan. Does she want anything?" "Ayaw ka daw makita." Richard laughed. "Pero mamaya tingnan mo ang kapit niyan. Ikaw, may gusto ka? McDo?" "Sige. Fries ha." ~~~ Dawn joined Richard on the set with a straight face. They had to run through the scene once before take and he held her hand, supposedly for practice. "May hold departure sa'kin kaya 'di ako makakasama," he said softly. Thinking that he was just talking in codes, she gave him a cold look. "Gagawa ka na lang ng excuse, sana ginalingan mo na."

The director called their attention. Richard could only sigh. ~~~ The door of Vivian's apartment swung open. "O, nandiyan ka na pala." "McDo, as requested." She smiled and moved aside as he came in. "Nandu'n sa kuwarto." "Bugnot ba?" he asked as she motioned for him to sit down. "Hindi naman," Vivian replied. "Pero malungkot ang mukha. Siguro kasi masama ang pakiramdam." "Tulog?" "Hindi, pero nakayakap lang sa unan. Teka, tawagin ko." Soon after she left, Richard heard Vivian yell, "Naku, Dawn!" Heavy footsteps from the room led Richard to storm there, too. He found them inside the bathroom, Dawn retching over the toilet bowl. Richard moved past Vivian and held Dawn's hair up with one hand, his other hand rubbing her back. After a few moments, she was finally able to vomit. When she was done, Richard helped her stand as he flushed the toilet. "Magmumog ka na," he said, handing her a glass from Vivian's medicine cabinet. She felt too weak to oblige, leaning on the sink with one hand as she gurgled some water. Richard wanted to carry her but she resisted, so he pulled her close and helped her walk back to the bedroom, where Vivian was fixing the bed. "Naku, Dawn, baka mamaya buntis ka ha," the manager said out of good humor. She looked up only to see both Dawn and Richard staring at her. Richard, in particular, looked suddenly as pale as Dawn. "Tigilan mo nga ako, Viv," Dawn said, taking Richard's hand away from her hip. She walked the rest of the steps to the bed and hugged a pillow. Vivian could see how her words --- plus Dawn's attitude and sudden

vomiting --- affected Richard. "Ah, teka, labas muna ako. Lumalamig 'yung McDo." With Dawn's back facing him, Richard decided not to lie beside her. He sat at the corner of the room, staring at her for a while. He hadn't had much sleep and his exhaustion was beginning to seep in. He buried his face in his hands. ... in the same moment that Dawn decided to look at him. "Hindi ako buntis," she said, trying to stay snobbish even when the very sight of him at that moment was melting her anger. He looked up, but didn't say anything. "Ano? Wala ka bang sasabihin?" "Wala akong ibang babae," he said. "I'm sorry kung hindi kita nasabihan na may party akong pupuntahan. Pero kasama ko si Tito Douglas, kahit tanungin pa natin siya ngayon." All that explaining was beginning to wear him out. He ran his fingers through his hair --- something that Dawn knew was a sign of frustration. "Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw mong maniwala sa akin, kung bakit ang hirap para sa'yong paniwalaang ikaw ang mahal ko. Are you trying to push me away dahil gusto mong maging tama ang pagkapraning mo? Ang mga tsismis nila?" "Hindi!" "O, ano?!" Richard asked, raising his voice, stunning Dawn a bit. "Bakit ka nagkakaganiyan, Dawn?" Dawn sighed and walked up to him. "Natatakot ako. Dahil alam kong hindi lang ako ang babae sa mundong iniikutan mo." "Pero ikaw ang pinili ko. Ikaw ang mahal ko. Ikaw ang nasa bahay ko. Hindi pa ba sapat 'yon?" He stood up. "Magpahinga ka na. Dito ka na muna kay Vivian. Dadalhan na lang kita ng damit." As he made his way to the door, Dawn said, "Teka." He turned to face her and she walked up to him crying. "Sasama ako sa'yo." ~~~

Richard found Dawn sleeping inside their tent, her head rested on the make-up table. It has been a long day, but they have one more scene to shoot before pack-up. He wanted to explain to her, but was wary of waking her up --- that was until he saw her eyes moving under their lids, a clear sign that she was just feigning sleep. He sighed and seated beside her. "Alam kong naririnig mo ako, pero 'di mo kailangang gumising... Sorry. Hindi ko din ginusto ito, pero may tax case against me. I can explain if you want me to, but all I can really say is I'm sorry." He stood up and kissed her hair. "Siguro we also need this time apart. Para makapag-isip ako, mahanapan ng paraan kung paanong hindi na kita magugulo.