#CDFragments IX. Mind games

IX. Mind games Richard instructed one of the production assistants that Friday morning to send Dawn a message saying he had fever and would not be able to make it on the set. It was just one of the those things, wanting to test her reaction, especially when she finds him where he normally would be on early shooting. Micah, the assistant, suggested that Richard at least hide somewhere and not be on the open space where Dawn can easily see him. But he wanted to startle her a bit. And sure it happened. The calm on her face, at least in his eyes, was erased in an instant, and a certain anxiousness filled her eyes. "O, akala ko ba wala ka today," she said, trying to be as casual as possible, with so many eyes watching them. "Naku, sorry, Ms. Dawn," Micah said on cue. "Kagabi pa po dapat 'yun. Namali po ako ng nai-forward na message sa inyo." "Okay ka na ba?" she turned to Richard, who simply nodded with a weak smile. Knowing that look so well, she did not probe anymore and walked inside the tent, mustering as much composure until she closed the door. She stood with her back against it and took a deep breath. "'wag kang paapekto," she kept whispering to herself until someone nudged the door, trying to open it. "Dawn, pakibukas." It was Richard. He heard her sigh before the door swung open. ~~~ {1992} With their argument from that morning still unresolved, Richard made sure to call Vivian first to check if Dawn was going to stay the night with her. He was told, however, that his girlfriend decided to ditch her manager and the scheduled game of golf to sulk at his place, the new place she calls home. So he was a little panic-stricken when he found the house absolutely light-

less from outside, and the gate unlocked, just as he left it that afternoon. Rushing to the door, a few scenarios ran through his mind --- had she left? (but if she did, she would probably lock the gate; and besides, a fight over burnt hotdogs rarely merited a break-up); she must've fallen asleep; or someone might have barged into his home. The knob turned easily, just as he left it, and he was starting to get a little more nervous as he stepped in the dark. He was about to flip the light switch when she heard the clink of a utensil that fell on the floor. He ran to the kitchen and dining area, where he found Dawn who was just straightening her back from bending for the fork. "Bakit ang dilim?" he asked as calmly as he could. Even in the dark, he could see that she had hotdogs on the plate in front of her, and very little rice. "Saka bakit 'yan ang kinakain mo?" She answered none of her questions, instead picking up her plate and walking to the sink. Richard wanted to sigh, but that would probably fuel another fight, and they weren't even done with the one from that morning. He followed her steps and took the plate away from her, throwing the food in the trash can. After placing it on the sink, he turned --- supposedly to embrace her --- but found that she has already gone to the stairs. And there he stood, still left in the dark. ~~~ "Pasensiya ka na pala kay Micah," he said as he closed the door. "Alam ko namang ayaw mo akong makita." "Ayaw makita?" "After what happened." He walked closer to her --- a bit too close for her own comfort, a bit too close that she could feel his breath as he spoke. "Kita ko sa mga mata mo kanina." ~~~ He entered the room quietly and carefully sat on the edge of the bed, where she lay facing the window. Knowing how Dawn loved to talk and to laugh, and being kept in her silence at that moment, was crushing

Richard's spirit. And to think that it was all over burnt hotdogs. It all happened that morning, when Dawn apparently woke up early --- at 6AM, as he usually does --- to prepare him breakfast. As they prepared to sleep the night before, Richard told her that he wasn't feeling well and would probably sleep 'til late. Since she moved in a week ago, he had been making her breakfast everyday without fail. Dawn told him not to sweat over it, even giving his feet a massage which helped him sleep. One who wasn't really trained to maneuver the stove, she went to the bathroom leaving a pan under high heat, which overcooked the hotdogs and eggs that she was frying --- all in that one pan. The smoke detector sounded off and woke him up. He dashed down the stairs to find her standing on a chair, trying to figure out a way to switch the noisy little apparatus off. She didn't notice that the stove was still open, the food continuously burning. He turned off the stove and yelled, "Anong ginagawa mo?!" He lifted her off the chair and took over, pounding a little too hard on the detector, leaving a slight dent. In silence and still a bit of smoke, they stood, him towering over her. He could tell that she was scared, but his temper got the best of him. "Hotdogs na lang, nasunog mo pa?!" "Sorry! Nag-CR ako, hindi ko alam na ---" "In the first place, hindi dapat iniiwan ang nakasinding kalan! Goodness, Dawn. Paano kung nagkasunog?!" "Eh ang ingay kasi nu'n oh!" she answered, pointing to the detector. "Nagpanic ako!" He sighed deeply, which made him cough because of the smoke. "Look at what you did!" "Sorry na nga, 'di ba?!" He grunted, his temper on full high since she was also using her stubborn voice on him. He got off the chair, placing it back to the dining table. Dawn was starting to scrape the burnt food from the pan when he told her irritably to leave it there and just go to the bedroom.

He moved around his kitchen swiftly, in silent indignation, but it didn't take him long to soften up. By the time the kitchen was clean, he called on to her. "Let's prepare breakfast together, love," he said loud enough to reach her in the bedroom. "Mag-prepare ka'ng mag-isa mo!" she yelled back. ~~~ Richard wasn't surprised when Dawn didn't join the cast for lunch. He heard her tell Vivian that they should have eat away from the set for once, at one of their favorite restaurants nearby. Of course he knew that after getting too close to her that morning, he had messed her up somehow. He could tell that she was being extra tolerant with him, but he also felt that it wouldn't take long before she cracks. What he wanted to achieve with this game, he couldn't really point out. Perhaps it was just to push her over the edge, to have her fight him so he could know exactly how she was feeling. How Dawn was feeling? Fuming, apparently. Silent throughout the ride to the restaurant, she began to rant to Vivian the moment they were seated. "He's driving me crazy, mare!" she said through gritted teeth. Vivian noticed that she was tinkering with her phone with extra force. "He thinks hindi ko alam? E kabisado ko na siya. Baka nakakalimutan niyang we lived together for a while!" Vivian nudged her as she looked around the quiet place. "Puwede 'wag kang maingay? May ibang costumers oh." Vivian held her hand. "Why not do what you do? Take him out to dinner, just the two of you. Talk." "Sa tingin mo papayag 'yon? Tinopak na nga eh." The manager smiled. "Tell me, Dawn, kailan pa ba nakatanggi 'yun sa'yo?" ~~~ A few moments and she didn't move. He decided to lay beside her, laying a gentle hand on her bare arm and kissing her shoulder. "Love?" "I need to sleep early for a shoot tomorrow," she said softly. "Dawn, it's 7PM."

"Okay, let's just put it simply --- ayaw kitang makausap." The fight has been on the whole day and even when he could tell that she was angry, he forced her arm around her waist and pulled himself closer to her. Even when she was resisting. "Okay, since ayaw mo akong makausap, makinig ka na lang." He slapped her hand softly. "And I will hug you." She sighed. He went on," Dawn, hindi ako mind-reader. Kaya I hope na para din maiwasan natin 'yung mga away na ganito, when something's wrong, you tell me. Now, I'm so sorry, love, kasi nasigawan kita kaninang umaga. Nag-panic lang ako kasi akala ko may sunog. I bought the smoke detector from the US for a reason, 'di ba? Para safe tayo when you move in here." He could tell that Dawn was starting to relax in his arms, but of course she was trying not to. He started kissing her shoulder more, little by little, as he spoke. "I just want us to work well. I mean, we already... alam mo 'yun? Swak na tayo. Pero kapag tinotopak ka---" At that point, Dawn just had to protest. She turned to face him. "Anong topak?! Sinong nanigaw?! I was just trying to make you breakfast kasi masama ang pakiramdam mo..." He cupped her face in his hands, no longer masking the smile that he has been trying to keep because finding her adorable at that time might ensue another fight. "Naku naman itong love ko." He started kissing her lips, slowly at first. He was pulling her closer as things were starting to heat up when her stomach growled. They both started laughing. "Tara, let's make dinner," he said. She pinched his nose. "Mag-make dinner ka mag-isa mo," she replied playfully, rushing out of the bed to race him to the kitchen