A tongue in cheek but practical guide for transgender women with new plumbing....
You’ll wake up in the hospital and still be pretty doped up. At first, you’ll be immobile. The crotch area will be covered with bandages and will hurt or be numb. You’ll be packed with gauze to keep everything in place for several days. Some doctors will have you start getting out of bed relatively soon. Take it slow, you are in charge of your own recovery. You WILL recover. You came this fucking far, don’t give up now. Be prepared for that first look. You’ll like the mound and absence of Mr. Helmet, but it’s going to be black blood stained stitches and swelling and possibly hoses running into a drainage reservoir. It’s going to smell, hurt, and look awful. Unlike Frankenstein however, it will look better with time and hopefully, you’ll learn to love it. Packing and unpacking It’s pretty amazing when your doctor pulls the packing out. Amazing in how much is crammed in there. And amazing how nasty it looks. This is a messy process. Take it with a shrug and a smile. It’s another step completed and you won’t have to do it again.
Effects of anesthesia If this is your first time recovering from general anesthesia and opiates, you may be a little surprised by the fact that you can’t go to the bathroom. Get off the opiates as soon as you can. Take stool softeners. And give it time. That first big number 2 coming out near all those stitches and hurt will be a little freaky anyways. No need to rush it! Swelling and drainage Swelling and tenderness can last a long time. Some doctors will insert a tube into your pubic mound to drain the excess blood and fluids left over from surgery. Remember, this was a pretty major surgery. The fluid might look very much like the juice that drains after liposuction, if you’ve had that procedure. It helps the swelling go down, so it’s good It will get better Some girls have a little bit of a post-op depression. You’ve built up to this enormous thing, and now you’re in bed, sore as hell, and totally whacked from this surgery. It – will – pass. I mean holy shit, look! You’ve got a freaking pussy! So What the Hell is Going On Down There Anyways?
Different doctors use slightly different techniques. The neovaginas will differ between doctors and between people. No two people are identical. The new clitoris will probably be pretty tender for a long time. It might be “over-sensitive”. But, it should settle down over time. I have heard from several people that the inside of a neo-vagina feels rougher than the inside of a CIS-Vagina (My own term!). Many girls I know, including me, apply estrogen cream internally. I believe the typical dosage is three times a week. If you and your doctor think it’s necessary, this may become a part of your regular routine. Hey, where is that itch coming from?
One thing you may experience at first is ghost itching and pain. You may think – “oh my balls itch.” But um, well no they don’t. Study up on the technique your doctor used, that may help you know where to scratch to satisfy that itch. It’s doubtful you’ll be able to scratch it in public. This effect should subside fairly quickly. Your nerves and mind are rewiring, figuring out where things are. The swelling in the area is also affecting things. At least you know that the electricity works! Ohhh, that’s a deep damn pink! Some doctors splay open a part of the urethra to give the vagina some pink and moisture. It can be VERY pink at first. Some people need to use estrogen cream on this pink area to thicken the membrane. Either through time or through a treatment like this, this strip will gradually turn into a nice pinky peach type color.
OMG what is THAT Smell?
Yah. So back to the frankenpussy thing. Ever see how much skin will change if it’s inside a cast or under a bandage for a long time. The change is like that but more extreme. The former external, now internal skin will be changing quite a bit. Many girls are told to regularly apply estrogen cream. You use a kind of syringe thing. This makes the skin change even more. At first, you’re still recovering from surgery and there are bloody stitches in place. Blood stinks. But eventually, smell is your first line of defense. Smell is important You will learn to recognize the normal smell your vagina emits. Similar to the way your body odor changed with estrogen, the new vagina will develop a characteristic and recognizable smell. Frankly. I kind of like it. But as I said above, blood stinks. If you develop granulation – excess skin growth in trauma areas – it can bleed pretty easily. See your surgeon or an OB/GYN when this happens. Bleeding can be brought on by dilation, sex, hell – a bike ride. If it’s not enough to show, a change in smell can be a warning. Other issues, like a yeast infection will make the area smell differently also. So yah, give those fingers a sniff. Keep it clean and follow directions.
New Habits and Practices
Why is this pee going all over the place? You may be amazed at how much of a mess you can make peeing. At first, while the area is still swollen you may need to bend way forward to get it in the toilet. Or, it may spray all over your legs and ass. Sorry, no way to be gentile about this. The problem should go away as you recover from surgery. If it doesn’t get better, talk to your surgeon. You’ll also need to learn how to control exactly WHEN you want to pee. Remember to look for toilet paper! So, no more standing. No more avoiding sitting down in nasty port-a-potty’s. No more sinking the cigarette butt battleship in the urinal. You will need toilet paper for number 1! Remember to look for it. Pulling up panties on a wet nether region to search neighboring stalls really sucks. Yah, and wash your hands. Keeping the channel clear No, it’s not about boats. Your doctor has created a cavity inside you and lined in with skin salvaged from your penis and scrotum. That cavity does not want to be there and it will close up after time if not protected. You must embrace d-i-l-a-t-i-o-n !
Dilation Dilation is a lot like cramming a baseball bat into dirt. It’s not all that fun. Basically, you lube up these different sized medical dildos (often made of freaking hard ass acrylic) and push them into the new vagina as far as you can and holding pressure on it for a few minutes. Then, you’ll do the same thing with a bigger one. The idea is to keep the channel open.
Reduced need When you first get home from the hospital, I swear it will seem like you are ALWAYS cramming a piece of plastic up your yahoo. But eventually, you should graduate away from the smaller dilators and the required frequency goes down. Oh, and consider buying water based lubricant in tubes by the dozen from Amazon.
“Natural Dilation” See next section – “Taking the kitty out for a ride “
Taking the Kitty Out for a Ride Motorcycles and bicycles
Riding a motorcycle or bicycle in the first few months could fill you with a dread filling fear and pain. Don’t rush it! Give it time to recover. Cyclists and motorcyclists should consider switching to riding gear designed for women. There is a broad range of bicycle saddles designed specifically to fit women’s’ anatomy. But, that’s not actually what we’re talking about, is it? No seriously – sex.
Like as if this section was about bike riding.
I want to state categorically that I don’t know or care or want to know what you’re into in the way of sex. Sex with men, sex with women, sex with crowds, sex tied up – I don’t endorse anything, suggest anything, or deride anything. It’s your body; do with it as you will. That being said, I like sex and have learned a few things. If you were active before, you may need new standards for sex with men. You may find you can’t handle that same size guy in the front as you could in the back. It’s not true for everyone, but it could be. Good news is you still have that back door if needed. Don’t rush into sex! You just had a major surgery down there and your partner may have a hard time (no pun intended) not overdoing it. Talk to your doctor about when you should be able to have sex. Also, it may take a while for your swelling and nerve rerouting to make sex enjoyable. I know that now, several years in, everything works better and I enjoy sex much more. Use lubricant. Your new vagina may get wet, but it will not produce the kind of lubrication you need for penetrative sex. If the sex session lasts a long time, use more. Even if you don’t bleed from dry sex, you’ll pay later by being sore. I tried it once, just kind of happened spontaneously, and I was sore the whole next day. I like Astro—Glide, stays slippery and it doesn’t taste too bad. I’ve heard that some friends like a silicone based lubricant. You will have to experiment to see what works best for you. Many girls develop the ability to orgasm. I have found there to be two definite types. For me, the first is a quick breathing, heart pumping, muscle spasming, damn that feels good orgasm. I experience this during normal intercourse. Some people call this an emotional orgasm, meaning it’s emotionally induced. Oh yah, and not like just once. I think my record is twelve orgasms during a single sex session. The second type orgasm is more elusive. I don’t know how many people get this type. This is a more clitoral based orgasm. This orgasm
is a OMG I’m actually getting wet, dig fingernails into something, seeing stars, and maybe squirt a little Great fucking orgasm. For me, this is one per session, no multiples. I’ve achieved this orgasm with my fingers and a vibrator, when my partner rubbed me just right without penetration, and once with my partners expert use of an electric toothbrush. Oh yes, right THERE! Sex with women If guys aren’t your thing, or if you’re flexible in such matters (I am), you can still achieve orgasm. Remember that toothbrush? Yah. Oral sex from a guy or girl LOOKS awesome. Seeing their face buried down there is great, almost hypnotic. You’ll have to help them find the spot. When they do – yow! That feels good. It took me quite a while to enjoy receiving oral sex. Parts of my neo-vagina were numb and parts were over sensitive. But after a while, I found it very enjoyable.
Clothes fit now! Yoga pants are awesome. Yoga pants ARE awesome. They just are. So are shorts and tight jeans. You may need new panties if you’ve been using small size panties as part of your tucking regimen. Or, if you haven’t been tucking the larger panties won’t be needed and may be kid of baggy and loose. Anyways, panties are nice. Panty choice Cotton panties are great in summer. Consider using a day pad until all the seepage stops. Frankly, you may consider using one all the time. It’s easy to change your pad every time you go to the bathroom and keep your panties fresh. Do you like thongs? Some do, some don’t. I can tolerate them for a little while, especially if I’m planning on letting someone talk me out of them in the near future. I mean, they do LOOK great. Swimming Yea! You can wear a bikini to the pool and not worry about anything falling out! Of course, this assumes that you are comfortable wearing a bikini in public. Regardless, you can swim in a one piece, a bikini. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Crossing your legs is actually comfortable
I always found sitting with my legs crossed a little uncomfortable when tucked. There was also the real risk of extreme pain if one of the golf balls got loose and pinched. That’s not exactly easy to fix in public. So sit away! Things fit now.
So, enjoy the new plumbing. It may take a little while to break in, but in the end, you can get years of enjoyment from it. Connie Constance Rice Leesburg, VA [email protected]
Connie began her career as an avionics technician in the US Marine Corps and has been in technology ever since. She’s the proud parent of three Eagle Scout sons. She bikes extensively and rides 5000 miles a year or more. Connie transitioned to female beginning in 2010 and over the next several years. Connie feels lucky that her education, career, and family allowed her to make this change and felt a strong need to give back to the community. She is a transgender activist and member of Equality Virginia’s Transgender Activist Speakers Bureau where she works to further community understanding of transgender issues.