Building Emotional Intelligence Darwin Reconsidered

Contemporary Family Trends

Building Emotional Intelligence: Darwin Reconsidered Jenni Tipper (March 2007)

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Patron Her Excellency The Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean, C.C., C.M.M.,C.O.M, C.D. Governor General of Canada Founded by the late Right Honourable Georges P. Vanier and the late Honourable Pauline Vanier

Présidente d’Honneur Son Excellence la très honorable Michaëlle Jean, C.C., C.M.M.,C.O.M, C.D. Gouverneure Générale du Canada Fondé par feu le très Honorable Georges P. Vanier et l’Honorable Pauline Vanier

President/Président Allan D. MacKay Chair, Executive Committee Président, Comité Exécutif Jean T. Fournier




About the author… Jenni Tipper is a part-time Research Associate with the Vanier Institute of the Family. Her research interests span a broad spectrum of topics as they relate to the health and wellbeing of women, children and families. As a Roots of Empathy facilitator, Jenni also spends time growing Emotional Intelligence with a classroom full of 5 year olds.

The Vanier Institute of the Family was established in 1965 under the patronage of Their Excellencies Governor General Georges P. Vanier and Madame Pauline Vanier. It is a national voluntary organization dedicated to promoting the well-being of Canada's families through research, publications, public education and advocacy. The Institute regularly works with businesses, legislators, policymakers and program specialists, researchers, educators, family service professionals, the media and members of the general public.
Contemporary Family Trends is a series of occasional papers authored by leading Canadian experts in the field of family studies.

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Building Emotional Intelligence: Darwin Reconsidered

Table of Contents Introduction ..................................................................................................................... 5 Evolution Reconsidered................................................................................................. 5 Emotional Intelligence................................................................................................... 7 Beyond the classroom..................................................................................................... 8 Project Profiles................................................................................................................. 9 Methodology ................................................................................................................ 9 F&ST – Families & Schools Together ....................................................................... 10 How it Works ............................................................................................................. 11 Evaluation ................................................................................................................... 14 Caring Dads: Helping Fathers Value Their Children........................................... 15 Does it Work? ............................................................................................................. 18 Safe Spaces – Bullying Prevention for Preschool-aged Children........................ 19 The Safe Spaces Approach........................................................................................ 20 Evaluation Results ..................................................................................................... 21 Findings....................................................................................................................... 22 Girls’ Club ...................................................................................................................... 23 Activities...................................................................................................................... 25 Evaluation ................................................................................................................... 26 Destination UP .............................................................................................................. 27 What is Destination: UP? ......................................................................................... 28 Horizons Summer Camp ...................................................................................... 29 Reach… Connecting Youth in Care With Their Potential................................ 29 UP Café .................................................................................................................... 29 Step Up – Transition Program.............................................................................. 29 A closer look ............................................................................................................... 29 What is “community”?.............................................................................................. 31 Learning Focus ........................................................................................................... 32 Conclusion...................................................................................................................... 33 Bibliography .................................................................................................................. 35

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INTRODUCTION Long considered the pillars of evolutionary science, Charles Darwin’s theories of human development have profoundly shaped how we understand human nature. At times contentious, Darwin’s theories of Natural Selection and Random Variation have come to form the core of modern science. Drawn largely from his pivotal work, The Origin of Species, these theories underpin what is a nearly universally accepted notion of human nature as predominantly aggressive, violent, selfish and competitive. This portrait, argues David Loye in his compelling book Darwin’s Lost Theory of Love, tells only part of the story. He maintains that what has become the sacred principle of ‘survival of the fittest’ grew out of Darwin’s work with various subhuman species. This was, according to Loye, never intended by Darwin to serve as a complete explanation of human behaviour. Rather, it would appear that Darwin found “love, sympathy, reason and morality of overriding importance for evolution at our level.” (Loye, 2000:6). We need to ask ourselves, then: “should Darwin’s theory of evolution be rewritten for all of humanity to read ‘survival of the kindest’”? Consider, for a moment, the possibility that many of the basic assumptions that have supported popular understanding of human nature and evolution have been woefully onesided. Think about what our world would look like today if compassion was rewarded over self-interest, if cooperation superseded individualism, if love trumped fear. Tackling these questions is more than an exercise in navel-gazing or science bashing. Few could stand back from current events and seriously argue that ours is a world not in desperate need of a fundamental shift in human relations and expectations. As a guiding principle, survival of the fittest has lead us teetering towards the edge of moral bankruptcy. Our survival, in fact, will require a lot more mutual caring and a lot less competition and cruelty. EVOLUTION RECONSIDERED In his inspiring book, Field Notes on the Compassionate Life: A Search for the Soul of Kindness (2005), author Marc Barasch examines many of these questions and takes the reader on a journey across the globe to map the history of human compassion. Journalist, author cum ‘new age’ scientist, Barasch, borrows heavily from the fields of biology, psychology, sociology, theology and neuroscience as he explores the power of empathy to unleash the greatest of human potential.

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Emboldened by a passionate belief that the milk of human kindness is the tonic to sooth our battered hearts, Barasch maintains that a kinder, gentler vision of evolution is more than a pipedream. It is, rather, deeply embedded in our DNA waiting to be actively coaxed out from behind a century of misrepresentations of Darwin’s discoveries. Barasch rejects our deeply entrenched self-image as “an aggression-prone, brainy ape driven by selfish instincts and constrained (at best) by a thin thread of culture.”(Barasch, 2005:27). He points to the Bonobo monkey – the primate with whom we share 99.4% of our DNA – and their compassionate ways as evidence that “it is not tooth-and-nail competition but conciliation, cuddling, and cooperation that may be the central organizing principle of human evolution”(Ibid:35). This image of the peaceable, kind and caring hominoid is a far cry from the usual portrait of our evolutionary heritage. The Bonobo, it would appear, has a very highly developed sense of empathy with the capability to read emotions and to take the perspective of others. It is exactly this capacity for empathy, Barasch argues, that “has put us on evolution’s fast track – and will be the saving grace that keeps our stock rolling.” (Ibid:28) In making this argument, Barasch joins a growing number of scientists questioning our evolutionary trajectory and calling into question our basic assumptions about human nature. It would appear that not all animal instincts are savage and self-interested. Au contraire, we are linked throughout time by a genetic rope that ties us together with empathy and compassion. As the tight lid on the scientific canon is being pried open, greater credence is being given to what might be considered our genetic predisposition towards kindness and mutual aid. The challenge, however, lies in our capacity to harness and nurture these ancestral gifts of caring and empathy. To this end, we will need to grab a firm hold of the reins for we have veered dangerously away from the path of caring laid by our primate cousins. Barasch quotes Benedictine monk, Thomas Keating, as saying: “The American way is to first feel good about yourself, and then feel good about others,…[b]ut spiritual traditions say it’s the other way around – that you develop a goodness by giving of yourself.”(Ibid:12). It can be argued that “goodness” is in our nature. Our job is to nurture and practice being good. Our commitment needs to be to growing our capacity for love, empathy, caring and mutual aid. Simply put, evolution demands that we elevate our emotional intelligence.

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Sounds simple enough, but just what is emotional intelligence (EI) and how can we build it? Daniel Goleman popularized the concept of emotional intelligence/literacy in 1995 with the publication of his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Giving voice to primary research already conducted by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, Goleman’s best-selling book found resonance in boardrooms, classrooms and living rooms across North America. Since the appearance of Goleman's book, Mayer and Salovey have refined the definition of EI to read: Emotional intelligence involves the ability to perceive accurately, appraise, and express emotion; the ability to access and/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; the ability to understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and the ability to regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth. (Glossop and Mitchell, 2006:10).

In a review of the literature on emotional intelligence, Glossop and Mitchell highlighted some of the basics that the research has uncovered: Emotional intelligence is learned. Unlike IQ, which is essentially fixed within narrow parameters at birth, EQ can be developed and enhanced. In other words, temperament is not destiny. Empathy and the capacity to understand the emotions of others can be nurtured. (Ibid:11).

With a consensus emerging around the capacity of heightened emotional intelligence to positively influence personal, social and intellectual development, there has perhaps never been a more opportune time to begin to integrate social and emotional learning into the practical ways we live our lives and teach our children. To date, the project of building emotional intelligence has taken greatest hold on the business and education sectors. Both view emotional intelligence as a foundational cornerstone of success. Within the business community, nurturing emotional intelligence is used as a vehicle to grow leadership and improve human relations in the workplace – both critical components of profitability. For educators and school administrators, nurturing emotional intelligence among students holds out hope for improved school readiness and educational achievement. The literature has made abundantly clear the critical link between emotional literacy and maturity and, school preparedness and success among school age children. In their book, Building Academic Success on Social and

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Emotional Learning: What does the Research Say?, Zins, Bloodworth, Weissberg and Walberg, (2004) state that those competent in social and emotional learning are “able to recognize and manage their emotions, establish healthy relationships, set positive goals, meet personal and social needs, and make responsible and ethical decisions”(p. 6). Sounds very much like a recipe for human evolution. BEYOND THE CLASSROOM There is no question that schools provide an obvious home for nurturing emotional intelligence. We have a lot to learn from the sustained efforts among teachers and educational theorists over the past twenty years to develop effective models of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) in schools across the globe.1 Of particular interest to this writer, however, are those efforts that lie beyond the classroom. This paper will examine what is happening in community halls, family service centres, and therapeutic settings to reinforce and/or support this type of classroom learning. It will consider questions as they relate to target audience and ask: who is being reached with this important message? How are we supporting those who fall outside of mainstream programming? To this end, a small number of programs and projects being delivered at different points across the country will be highlighted, each reflecting a fundamental commitment to fostering emotional intelligence. These are initiatives that embody a profound understanding of the transformative role that compassion and emotional literacy can play in our personal lives and in the social world(s) we create. They offer insight into the type of work that is being done across Canada to better the lives of children, families and communities. 1

Among the most successful classroom-based EI programs being delivered in Canada is the acclaimed Roots of Empathy. Launched in 1995 by developer, Mary Gordon, Roots is an “evidencebased classroom program that has shown dramatic effect in reducing levels of aggression and violence among school children while raising social/emotional competence and increasing empathy”. With curriculum specifically tailored for students in Kindergarten to Grade 8, the goals of the Roots of Empathy program are to: • • • • •

To foster the development of empathy To develop emotional literacy To reduce levels of bullying, aggression and violence, and promote children's pro-social behaviours To increase knowledge of human development, learning, and infant safety To prepare students for responsible citizenship and responsive parenting

Roots has been rigorously evaluated and proven to be an effective tool in building emotional literacy. For more information, visit the website: www.rootsofempathy.org

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PROJECT PROFILES Methodology Identification and selection of these programs and/or projects did not adhere to a particular methodology nor a rigid definition of Emotional Intelligence/Literacy. Rather, a fairly broad search net was cast, relying largely on e-mail queries, telephone conversations and internet-based searches to unearth interesting prospects. There is no particular geographic, demographic or philosophical representation to these selections. Upon identification of an interesting project, a request was made for any and/or all program and evaluation materials, and testimonials. Interestingly, most of the projects selected do not explicitly identify the development of emotional intelligence or literacy as a primary goal. Perhaps this is simply a matter of semantics. It is possible that the discourse surrounding EI has not consistently found its way beyond school staff rooms and business boardrooms. Nevertheless, each of these programs serves to enhance at least one of the following five critical components of emotional intelligence as set out by CASEL, the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning, located at the University of Illinois at Chicago: • Self-Awareness: awareness of feeling and our own abilities; sense of selfconfidence. • Social Awareness: ability to take other’s perspectives; appreciating and interacting with diverse groups. • Self-Management: being able to regulate one’s own emotions; conscientious; perseverance. • Relationship Skills: Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships; negotiating conflict; seeking help when needed. • Responsible Decision-Making: Assessing risks and making good decisions; respecting others; taking personal responsibility for one’s decisions. With any luck, this paper will help to bridge the gaps that exist between and among individuals, groups and sectors as they endeavour to promote social and emotional well-being. To this end, these programs do not necessarily represent examples of “best practices”. Such a claim would require a much more rigorous methodology. Rather, these efforts act like windows of opportunity, shedding some light on the world we live in and the world we want and, hopefully, offering a new way to “practice” being our “best”.

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F&ST – FAMILIES & SCHOOLS TOGETHER Building emotional intelligence across the lifespan requires the support of various agents of emotional learning. Among the most important agents are parents. In a review of recent findings, Mitchell & Glossop (2005:12) maintain: Research shows that success in the crucial early years of cognitive and neurological development is, in significant measure, a function of affective attachment and appropriate emotional stimulation by parents. The benefits of investments in early childhood programming cannot be maximized without appropriate investments in the emotional intelligence and emotional competencies of parents.

In other words, parenting matters. Parents have a critical role to play in supporting and nurturing the emotional development of their children. Growing healthy and happy children, however, is often a challenge. Many of today’s families struggle to balance the various demands of paid and unpaid work, educational pursuits and extracurricular activities. Meeting the emotional and social needs of each member amidst competing interests and time constraints can be very difficult. These parents need help to best support the developmental potential of their offspring. In light of this need, in 1988, Dr. Lynn MacDonald of Madison, Wisconsin, launched a premiere family and community development program called F&ST (Families And Schools Together). F&ST gained quick popularity here in Canada and is currently delivered in forty-four communities in 7 provinces. The programme is guided and promoted by Family Service Canada. F&ST is delivered as a parent-involvement and prevention programme helping children succeed academically and socially. F&ST brings families and professionals together in a two-year, school-based, community programme designed to: - Enhance child development, parenting and family functioning - Help children succeed at school - Prevent addiction and juvenile delinquency - Reduce the daily stress experienced by parents and children Anchored by a local school and a strong team of community-based service providers, educators and parents, F&ST is delivered in eight to ten weekly sessions and is tailored to the ages of the children involved: BABY F&ST: A three-generation approach, for newborns to 3-year-old children and their teenage parents.

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Early childhood F&ST: For children 3 to 5 years old and their families – specifically designed to facilitate the transition from preschool to formal schooling. Elementary F&ST: For school-aged children 5 to 8 years old and their families. Middle Years F&ST: For preteens, 9 to 12 years old, and their families – specifically designed to facilitate the transition to junior high. F&ST draws upon a broad research base and scientifically tested family therapy and child development principles and prevention strategies. F&ST recognizes and reinforces the central importance of parents in their children’s lives, and supports the key role that parents play as agents of emotional learning. The cornerstone of F&ST’s success is its collaborative, long-term, team approach that builds on the strengths of families, schools, family service and community organizations. Working together, results are achieved that could not be reached by one group alone. Each F&ST team includes at lest four core partners: o a community based family service organization o a community-based prevention organization o a public or separate school o a parent from the school community According to CASEL, this type of continuity is critical to program success. CASEL researchers maintain that “today’s most effective SEL [Social and Emotional Learning] efforts are characterized as being provided in more coordinated, sustained, and systematic ways using comprehensive, multiyear, multicomponent approaches than was the case in the past.”(www.casel.org). How it Works Effective recruitment and voluntary attendance is essential to a successful F&ST program. In order to attract potential participants, a general invitation is sent out to the families of children identified by the participating school. These families are typically considered ‘hard to reach’ or ‘in need of support’. Targeted families are visited by a member of the F&ST team to discuss the program, encourage participation and ascertain program fit. A typical program involves ten to fifteen families. Among the many strengths of this program is its’ unique involvement of the entire family. Once the program becomes entrenched in a community, it is not uncommon for families to begin to self-refer.

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During each of the weekly sessions, families are supported to engage both as a unit and to separate along generational lines. Through various activities, families are encouraged to listen to each other, to identify feelings and emotions and to express these feelings to each other in a constructive manner. Social cohesion is created through weekly family meals prepared on a rotating basis by one of the participating families and shared by all. In the words of F&ST founder, Lynn McDonald, Breaking bread together is a uniquely humanizing experience, powerful and universal. When we share a common meal with others, we see more clearly the human side of our companions… The whole group – parents, children, staff, and volunteers, families as well as non-families – experience the dismantling of barriers and formation of bonds while eating together at F&ST. (F&ST, 1998:21)

Similarly, song and drawing are used on an ongoing basis as a means of bringing family members together while providing an outlet for constructive and safe emotional expression. Participants are guided to listen and to share ideas and feelings respectfully. The emotional intelligence of each participant is further supported through a weekly game of “feelings charades”. Played by all family members, each person takes a turn choosing from a set of “feeling faces” cards and replicating the facial expression represented on the card (e.g. sad, happy, mad, proud, etc.) so that family members can try to identify the hidden feeling. What starts out as a fun game often advances into an opportunity for more focussed discussion between parents and children about specific feelings. Sharing feelings in this way may help to break down social isolation both within and between families. Moreover, this activity gives all participants an opportunity to practice non-judgemental listening; it promotes understanding between parent and child and, offers a critical platform upon which emotional intelligence can be built. In the words of one F&ST parent: The one thing that meant the most to me about the F&ST program was that it made me feel closer to my son. I don’t know what it was, but it just seemed that a kind of separating wall disappeared. We were sort of able to know what we were each feeling easier. I can’t explain it. (F&ST, 1998:37).

After these family activities are completed, the F&ST group separates. The children go into Kids’ Time characterized by “gross motor activity, creative exploration and opportunities for cooperative interaction and self-

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expression…[so as] to nurture understanding and warmth, increase discovery, model positive communication and establish positive behavioural patterns.” (F&ST, 1998:50). At the same time, the parents enjoy Buddy Time and Parent Group. Buddy Time affords parents 15 minutes to talk with another adult (preferably their partner, if applicable) about their day. Each partner gets 7.5 minutes, with minimal interruption, to ‘unload’ their feelings without judgement or reprisal – an empowering process that helps build relationships and break down social isolation. Parent Group lasts for an hour and is designed to develop a support network for parents and encourage the growth of lasting friendships. Parents share stories of child rearing success and stress. Group problem-solving is encouraged and supportive relationships nurtured. Each week is capped with Special Play, during which a parent engages in oneon-one child directed play for 15 minutes of undivided attention. This in not a time for advice or parental guidance, simply play and engagement at the child’s discretion. Children need their parent’s attention. This activity gives families the opportunity to build this type of interaction into their daily repertoire. Clearly, F&ST influences participants at various levels: Children are supported to achieve their unique potential as students and as family members. According to the National Education association, “the best predictor of a student’s achievement in school is parent involvement” (F&ST, 1998:165). Parents are supported to become involved with their children, with one another, with their child’s school and with the community. These relationships strengthen their ability and confidence to support and interact with their children in ways that will build self-esteem, improve communication, and fortify family bonds over a lifetime. Parents are supported in their capacity as primary prevention agents for their children. Families are empowered to draw more on their own resources and to build

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Parent quote: “I am glad I participated in F&ST; it is a great program. I started paying good one-to-one attention to my daughter. Now, she’s been tested by the school as gifted and talented. Now I have two jobs, and one is with F&ST. Both of us have better selfesteem. I can go to school and speak up more for my kids now. I feel better about myself and my kids, thanks to F&ST.”(F&ST, 1998:165)

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supportive relationships with other families and relevant service providers. Families also increase their knowledge and awareness of substance abuse, and the impact of substance abuse on child development. Communities are encouraged to take ownership for the well-being of its members and to work together to help individuals to achieve their full potential. Fostering this type of community-based reciprocity serves to mitigate “social exclusion, a process identified by both the European Union and the World Health Organization as the primary threat to the smooth functioning of developed societies” (Raphael, D., 2006:100). At the end of the eight or ten week period, families graduate to F&STWORKS – a series of monthly meetings designed to build and maintain long-term support over a two year period. Evaluation Effective evaluation is integral to the ongoing success and vitality of any program of this magnitude. The current F&ST evaluation package uses “standardized instruments with proven integrity over a broad spectrum of settings and long-term validity. F&ST also utilizes a qualitative questionnaire to gather information from parents and children about their experiences.”(F&ST, 1998:174) Findings from the Executive Summary Canadian National Evaluation of Outcomes 1996-2004 support the claim that F&ST is an: effective program for the reduction of factors related to alcohol and drug abuse, violence and delinquency, child abuse and neglect and school dropout. Outcomes reported in child behaviour, family functioning and parent involvement indicate positive changes at the home, school and community levels. (Family Service Canada, 2004:1).

As reported by Family Service Canada, the vast majority of parents and teachers involved in F&ST report “decreases in the targeted child’s behavioural and academic problems, and improvements in their self-esteem and ability to cope with stress and anxiety.”(McCarthey, 2004:21). These factors may help to protect children against a future of criminal activity and drug use. In particular, evaluation outcomes from the Elementary F&ST Canada program implemented in Winnipeg Manitoba conducted at 6 months and one year following the completion of the program showed “statistically significant improvement in children’s school and home behaviours, family closeness, parental involvement in school and a reduction in social isolation.” (Family Service Canada, Fact Sheet).

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These results echo previous evaluation findings and serve as proof of the continued success and benefit of the F&ST program to families and communities across the country. If it takes a village to raise a child, F&ST offers a vital and vibrant means of building an emotionally responsive and intelligent village.

CARING DADS: HELPING FATHERS VALUE THEIR CHILDREN Effective leaders succeed by connecting with others using competencies like empathy, emotional awareness and transparency. In essence, competent leaders are emotionally compelling. When applied to fathering, these competencies are equally important and offer one of the most convincing reasons for men to develop their emotional intelligence and provide the type of emotional leadership and guidance that children and families need. Parents have a critical role to play in the development of their children’s emotional well-being. Our children watch us very closely. They observe how we respond to frustration, how we deal with stress, how we understand and express our own feelings and, how we interpret the feelings of others. With fathers spending an increasing amount of time caring for their children, a new emphasis has been placed on the development of “effective fathering”.

From Monday to Friday, on average, fathers devote 67 percent as much time as mothers do in caring for their children; on weekends, this number climbs to 87 percent…. thirty years ago, these proportions were a mere 30 and 45 percent respectively. (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2002)

Fathers, by and large, have a significant impact on the emotional atmosphere – both positive and negative – within a family. Traditionally expected to provide financial and disciplinary leadership, many of today’s fathers are charting new ground in the world of emotional literacy and intelligence. Today’s fathers are expected to embrace a much more comprehensive set of roles and responsibilities. As such, fatherhood has become increasingly dynamic and complex. As Diane Dubeau (2002:6) points out: In the course of his lifetime, a man might be the father of his own children who no longer live with him, while being stepfather to his new wife’s children, then, with her, he might once again become a new father.

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Whatever his status, the research is clear: “Fathers who are involved, nurturing, and supportive have children who thrive cognitively, academically, socially and emotionally” (Scott & Crooks, 2004:96). Not all fathers, of course, are created equal. An alarming number of children are growing up in homes with fathers who are either neglectful or abusive. Research shows that it is fathers who perpetrate a significant proportion of child maltreatment (Ibid:95). According to the first Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect by leading expert Nico Trocme, [i]n Canadian two-parent families, fathers are alleged perpetrators in 71% of the physical abuse cases and 69% of the cases involving emotional maltreatment. In sexual abuse cases, fathers or stepfathers are about three and a half times as likely to be investigated as mothers and stepmothers (24% versus 7%) (Ibid:96).

There is little debate about the damage that abusive and neglectful fathers can do to their children. The role that social services should play in best responding to these fathers, however, is the subject of greater debate. Over the past 35 years, child welfare and protection services have promoted varying levels of access between abusive parents and their children. Over this time, intervention support has focussed largely on abusive mothers, despite the higher prevalence rates among fathers. This reality has some leaders in the field of intervention for maltreating fathers arguing that the need for support and treatment for this group of men has not been adequately addressed or researched (Scott, Francis & Wolfe, in press). This is an understandable conclusion given that, despite the inherent challenges, “intervention has the potential to increase paternal accountability and responsibility.”(Scott & Crooks, 2004:97). Moreover, it may be the only means through which a man is able to continue a parenting relationship with his child. In response to this unmet need for programs to reorient abusive or neglectful fathers, a team of researchers and service providers in southern Ontario have developed a ground breaking program: Caring Dads: Helping Fathers Value Their Children. Ultimately designed as a critical component of a comprehensive strategy to eliminate child abuse, the Caring Dads program provides 17 weeks of group intervention to men who have maltreated their children and/or abused their children’s mothers. Most of the participants are referred to the program by child protection services or probation and parole personnel. Some men attend voluntarily. Caring Dads does not make explicit its commitment to building the emotional intelligence of its participants, but this is little more than a matter of semantics. 16

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At the heart of the program is a deep commitment to the power of empathy as an agent for positive change. As articulated by program architects, Scott and Crooks: “[b]y clearly labelling behaviors that are abusive or inappropriate and challenging men to use their increased awareness of developmental stages, facilitators help men increase their empathy for their children.”(Crooks et al, 2006:77). Caring Dads offers the abusive father an opportunity to develop his emotional intelligence by building the skills to process and manage emotions – both his own and those of others. Built upon a blending of the literature on parenting, child abuse, change promotion and batterer intervention, Caring Dads is guided by a set of accountability principles that “hold the safety and well-being needs of children and children’s mothers as primary” (Scott & Crooks, 2006a:7). Program designers recognize that this model of intervention may not fit for all men. There may be instances where termination of the abusive father’s relationship with the family is preferred to involvement. It is cautioned that “[I]ntervention can never be a substitute for vigilant monitoring of child protective services” (Scott &Crooks, 2004:107). Unlike most “fathering” programs, Caring Dads targets “men’s accountability for their past and current behaviour and their empathy for, and understanding of, their children.” (Scott, Francis, Crooks & Kelly, in press:4). The program has been designed to accommodate men without any prior experience with a batterer intervention or parenting program. Each weekly session of Caring Dads is anchored by a group check-in designed to develop trust and engagement among participants. Throughout the program, these men will be encouraged to critically examine their own experiences, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. In so doing they are offered an opportunity to build critical self-awareness and to provide each other with support and encouragement. Caring Dads challenges participants to reflect on their experiences both as fathers and as sons and to answer two apparently straightforward questions: What type of father am I? What type of father do I want to be? As such, participants are led to examine how they feel about being an abusive father. “Feelings” knowledge, however, is not enough. Caring Dads enables participants to also build the knowledge and the skills required to shift from harmful parentcentred fathering to a more empathic and nurturing child-centred fathering approach. Participants are guided in developing the skills to: offer praise, listen, set fair limits, form realistic expectations, problem solve and, engage in effective discipline.

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As such, the program is informed by a “knowledge triangle” comprised of feelings, thoughts and actions. Weekly exercises highlight how these three pillars influence each other. Accepting responsibility for their abusive actions requires that participants “develop an awareness of how perceptions of an event shape both emotional reaction and behavioural response to that event.”(Ibid:50). Clearly, this is much more than a support group. Caring Dads offers men the tools to accept responsibility for their past actions and the motivation to make a choice to do things differently. Does it Work? As one of the first available intervention programs for fathers who have maltreated their children and/or abused their children’s mother, the big question is: does Caring Dads work? To begin to answer this question, Scott and Crooks conducted a comprehensive program evaluation. They examined a combination of “data, including program statistics, interviews with referral sources, men’s self-reports, and semistructured interviews” (Scott & Crooks, 2006a:3).

Researchers noted that specifically among clients presenting as “self-centered, entitled and over-controlling, significant reductions were noted in overall parenting stress, emotional unavailability, hostility towards a child, and angry arousal to child and family situations.” (Scott & Crooks, 2006a:19)

The results from the evaluation are generally supportive of the Caring Dads program. According to the researchers, the “data shows that Caring Dads meets a need, has a sound theoretical basis, and can be implemented in a way that meets the needs of stakeholders. Data showing initial support for positive outcomes among fathers participating in Caring Dads are also presented”(Ibid:3). Among the most telling evaluation results were those comments made directly by participants. The majority of men reported that: “they enjoyed attending group… a common refrain in Caring Dads intervention sessions is the need to make the program longer… men spoke of the value they placed in being listened to and in having a chance to talk about parenting issues with other men… Specifically, men tended to comment that they had learned to think things through before acting, to consider all of the possible outcomes of certain situations and to remember that “kids will disappoint you, but they don’t mean to do it on purpose.”… men [also] spoke of developing more patience with their children and of learning to make different choices about parenting.” (Ibid:16).

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These comments reflect the potentially profound impact that Caring Dads can have on building the emotional intelligence of participants. The program guides these fathers through a process of self-awareness and realization that offers them the opportunity to build empathy for their families and for each other. In the end, by helping fathers break the cycle of violence and integrate a higher level of emotional intelligence into their fathering practice, Caring Dads is helping children to achieve their full developmental potential and to become, when it is their turn, genuinely ‘caring’ parents.

SAFE SPACES – BULLYING PREVENTION FOR PRESCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN Research outcomes over the past decade have earmarked the preschool years as a critical transition point in childhood development and have underlined the importance of early intervention in identifying and mitigating potential future behavioural and/or emotional challenges. Developed by the Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre in British Columbia, Safe Spaces is a program that fosters and encourages the development of pro-social behaviours in young children. It encompasses an approach to social-emotional development that involves all children as well as their families and communities in a child care/child development program. Safe Spaces has deep evidence-based roots and has grown from an accepted understanding that learning empathy, emotional literacy and problem solving at a young age can reduce the emergence of bullying behaviors that may manifest in some older children. What teachers have known for decades, the research community has confirmed: an inextricable link exists between social emotional competence and school readiness. In their review of the literature on emotional intelligence, Glossop and Mitchell (2006:12) concluded that: emotional intelligence is a crucial determinant of a child's "readiness to learn." That readiness depends on seven key ingredients, which the research has defined as: • Confidence • Curiosity • Intentionality • Self-control • Relatedness • Capacity to communicate • Cooperativeness (research) In other words, those who are angry, fearful, insecure and unable to understand their own emotions or read the emotions of others do not learn as well as others. Whatever intelligence they have can be

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squandered without an investment in their emotional literacy. It is emotional intelligence that, in fact, is often lacking in those unable to take advantage of or benefit from programs and resources and investments already in place.

In this context, Safe Spaces is quite clearly and explicitly designed to advance the emotional intelligence of young children and, in so doing, to help them achieve their full potential as individuals and as citizens. The Safe Spaces Approach Simply put, Safe Spaces is designed to teach 3 to 5 year olds the skills they need to resist and prevent bullying. It is not intended just for those children who already display troubling behaviours. Rather, it integrates a holisitic approach to fostering social skill development using concepts, vocabulary and activities that are developmentally appropriate for preschool-aged children. The Safe Spaces curriculum is based on four major concepts: 1. My body is safe: no one will hit me, kick me, push me or hurt me. 2. My feelings are safe: no one will laugh at me or make me feel like a failure. 3. My thoughts, ideas and words are safe: I can express my feelings and opinions. without being interrupted or punished. 4. My work is safe: no one will disrupt or damage my working materials [Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre(a)]. Using books, stories with puppets, photographs, discussion, art activities and a peace table, these concepts are woven into a twenty-week curriculum. Children are encouraged to explore issues related to safety, relationships, feelings, fairness and problem solving through open communication and play. In so doing, they are given opportunities to develop the skills, attitudes and tools to resolve daily conflict and interact in peaceful ways. The result is the creation of a positive social milieu in the early childhood education setting where “all children, staff, and families feel valued and a sense of belonging”[Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre(a)]. The program is delivered by early childhood educators within the education setting who have received fifteen hours of specialized training in implementing the Safe Spaces approach. With over seventy child care programs in BC currently implementing this approach, the demand for Safe Spaces implementation training continues to grow. In response to demand, Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre is now offering a Safe Spaces Train-the-Trainer Program.

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Evaluation Results The short term and long term effectiveness of Safe Spaces is being rigorously evaluated by a team of researchers at UBC working with the Consortium of Health, Intervention, Learning and Development (C.H.I.L.D.) project in conjunction with the Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre. Preliminary anecdotal reports by parents and teaching staff suggest that Safe Spaces can: Raise young children’s awareness of the roles played by bullies, victims and observers, that they can effectively express their feelings about bullying behaviours, and take action when needed to ensure a physically and emotionally safer environment for themselves and others. Safe Spaces shows great promise as a benefit to young children’s social and emotional development (Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre(b):2)

[Westcoast Child Care Resource Centre(b)] Practitioner’s comments “Hitting has stopped in our program. Children are using the Safe Spaces language to tell their peers when it is and is not safe.” “We’re seeing more pro-social behaviour. Children seem more aware of the impact they have on others. They are beginning to monitor their own action.”

Parent’s comments “It fits our values. In our family, any kind of violence is not permitted. As Chinese-Canadians, we keep values that are good for both our kids and the society, such as respecting others, no bullying, studying hard and being kind and gentle to people around.”

Despite the rich anecdotal evidence of the positive outcomes of the Safe Spaces program, the research team set out to measure the effectiveness of program implementation and assess how implementation might relate to child outcomes. Simply offering the program is not enough. Of interest to the researchers is the extent to which the program has been delivered well and to what extent lessons learned can be applied to future development and delivery. In research terms, the evaluators are concerned with implementation integrity: the degree to which an intervention is conducted as it was originally intended (Schonert-Reichl, 2006). This model of implementation evaluation has the potential to make an

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important contribution to comparable programs being delivered in various settings by numerous facilitators. Five child care settings and ten early childhood educators who had recently received training in the implementation of the Safe Spaces program were selected to participate in the evaluation. Centres chosen represented the range of centres in which the Safe Spaces program was implemented with respect to children’s race/ethnicity and the socio-economic status (SES) of the families utilizing the centres. Using a combination of survey, interview and, record log measures, the research team asked: 1. Was the Safe Spaces program implemented as it was originally intended? To what degree were all of the components of the program implemented? 2. What were the experiences of early childhood educators in implementing the Safe Spaces program? Findings The evaluation outcomes were very positive and found: -

A very high level of adherence to core program activities: 91.67% A very high level of adherence to suggested additional activities: 81.54% A high reported level of program dosage (frequent use of program activities) (Ibid.)

Early childhood educators (ECE) reported that the program gave them a common language to create an environment where children felt safe to express themselves: “In the past we did focus on social skills, but maybe it wasn’t organized, we tried to develop common steps in the centre but of course everyone is different. Everybody uses different words. The [Safe Spaces] program… allows us to follow the same routine, follow the same steps, and to use the same key words.” (Ibid.).

These evaluation results alert us to a number of important delivery and program integrity issues. Ultimately, these findings will have the potential to support the improvement of the overall quality of program implementation and, to advance research in the field of program implementation and evaluation. And, at the end of the day, it is the children receiving the most effective social emotional learning preventive programming that will benefit the most from this type of evaluation. An outcome evaluation is currently being conducted. Data is not anticipated until 2008. 22

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GIRLS’ CLUB For decades, feminist research has demonstrated that when it comes to health and well-being, growing up a girl matters. Today’s girls and young women are confronted by a range of obstacles along their path towards healthy development. Despite the many changes brought about by second wave feminism, more young women than men still report being depressed or lonely, more young women report dissatisfaction with their bodies, are more likely to contract certain sexually transmitted diseases and to experience sexual abuse (CCSD, 2006). Since the rebirth of the women’s movement in the 1960s, emphasis has been placed on “empowering” girls and women to be more active agents in determining their health and well-being. What started in the early years as a focus on adult women’s sexual liberation and economic independence has grown to encompass a much broader and more inclusive vision of girls and young women as self-aware and self-defining. This shift is clearly exemplified in the “girl power” movement. In 2001, the Oxford English Dictionary added the term Girl Power!, defining this phrase as "a self-reliant attitude among girls and young women manifested in ambition, assertiveness and individualism (www.wikipedia.org) Girls’ Club follows in this tradition of girl empowerment. Based on the “Power Camp”2, Girls’ Club is a “school-based program using girls’ critical education and engagement to prevent violence”( Natalie Kishchuk Recherche et évaluation inc., 2005:1). Girls’ Club offers young women an opportunity to come together in a youth and female-centred environment to socialize and examine real issues in their lives. Having completed its third year of delivery at Verdun Elementary School (near Montreal, PQ), the program involves between fifteen and twenty-five girls in grades five, six and secondary 1 in weekly or bi-weekly after-school activities. The program aims to: create safe spaces, encourage the development of supportive relationships, and empower girls to recognize and act on violence and oppression in their lives. Through creative, physical and information activities, girls become involved in thinking about, questioning and

2

Founded in 1995, Power Camp is a community-based, grass roots initiative designed to address issues specific to girls and young women. Power Camp provides young women with an opportunity to come together in a youth and female-centred environment, to address real issues in their lives, to raise awareness, skill build, develop critical thinking skills and together develop action-oriented strategies towards change. (Power Camp:10)

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discussing issues such as relationships, communication, body image, sexuality, decision-making and conflict resolution.(Ibid.).

What makes Girls’ Club of particular interest to this author is the emphasis that the programme places on building empathic relationships. Girls’ Club is more than an exercise in individual empowerment. Explicitly grounded in a feminist approach, the program begins with the personal and leads to the political. Girls are encouraged to build the type of ‘self’ and ‘other’ awareness that will serve as a springboard to relationship building and critical decision making. In this sense, Girls’ Club advances our conceptualization and practice of empowerment by enhancing it with critical components of social and emotional learning. The program moves beyond building personal and political awareness and fosters the skills and relationships necessary to enable girls and young women to become more active agents in their lives as both individuals and community members. Participants are validated for ‘giving voice’ to their opinions, listening empathically to others and interpreting the potential impacts of their own words and actions.

Participant’s comments: “I feel better knowing other people are like me.” “I feel more prepared to face the world.” “I feel POWERFUL more than I used to because I know how to speak my opinions much more now.” “Be proud of yourself and respect other people.” “I learned that I can say no.” (Power Camp:11)

Girls’ Club has grown out of an integrated feminist analysis that takes into consideration the “multiple and intersecting impacts of policies and practices on different groups of women because of race, class, ability/disability, sexual orientation, religion, culture, refugee or immigrant status, or other status.” (Ibid:17). Within this context, the process of empowerment is understood as: -

fostering a positive self image among its participants providing individuals and groups within the community opportunities to critically explore means of creative and active living creating opportunities for girls to become advocates of their own lives increasing awareness through multi-dimensional experiences ((Ibid:13)

Unlike some of the other programs highlighted in these vignettes of initiatives that enhance emotional learning, Girls’ Club is less structured and/or scripted.

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The activities reflect an ‘empowerment pedagogical approach’ wherein, the power is given to the learner. In this context, “[t]he learning is created in a fun, participatory way. The learning is process-oriented, transformative, and grounded in the realities of young women’s experiences.”(Ibid:21). As a result, Girls’ Club provides young women with the opportunity to build the self-esteem, confidence and critical awareness necessary to begin to create actionoriented strategies and coping skills to address many of the personal and political issues that impact their lives. In other words, Girls’ Club is helping to build the emotional intelligence of a group of young women at a critical juncture in their adolescent development within a politicized framework. Activities To achieve this goal, Girls’ Club is comprised of a weekly schedule of activities. These activities and discussions may vary depending on the girls in attendance and their interests. In keeping with the Power Camp approach, the program aims to respond to the needs of participants while striving to achieve a high degree of participation and fun. In the words of a participant: “music, dance, arts and crafts, stuff outside and talking about serious stuff” are some of the activities in which the girls engage. (Natalie Kishchuk Recherche et évaluation inc., 2005:4). More specifically, the girls may participate in creating masks and explore various aspects of their identities though drama; they may use creative mediums such as painting, poetry, and audio visuals to explore the realities facing young women, or they may create pictoral collages of different kinds of women in different kinds of circumstances as a way to explore and celebrate diversity. All of these activities are focussed on offering participants a forum for creative selfexpression and reflection. Girls are also offered opportunities to build their knowledge around issues related to their bodies, the earth and the environment. Participants are given the chance to reflect upon popular notions of beauty in our culture and to explore different means of developing a healthy sense of physical and emotional wellbeing. Participants are encouraged to make the link from the individual to the collective. Community issues are explored and discussed though information sharing and strategy building. Through these activities, participants examine their own location within a broader socio-political context. In so doing, the girls may examine issues of racial intolerance, violence, sexism and other forms of systemic oppression that impact their lives. Through this discovery, participants are given the opportunity to:

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-

develop a more heightened sense of self learn from one another identify the connection between the personal and the political build awareness and knowledge on specific issues develop critical thinking skills experience group problem solving develop a sense of hope

Although not explicitly stated, these activities are clearly embedded in the project of working with and through emotions at various levels. Whether it be in the act of raising personal awareness or of building “other” mindedness, Girls’ Club is doing the job of building heightened emotional intelligence. Evaluation Led by an Evaluation Team composed of two girls from Girls’ Club, a behavioural technician from Verdun Elementary School, three representatives of Power Camp National and an external evaluator, a participatory evaluation process of Girls’ Club, -2004-2005 was developed to assess program design and impact. Overall, parents, teachers and Club participants were satisfied with program delivery and design. The girls interviewed maintained that they have many reasons for attending what they referred to as GC. For some it is to have fun, for others it is out of a sense of curiosity and, for one girl it was in hopes of having “more girl time, less boy time” (Natalie Kishchuk Recherche et évaluation inc., 2005:3). One teacher noted that Girls’ Club “enhances their leadership. It’s a place to feel confident about the skills they have.” (Ibid.). Similarly, one of the two parents interviewed supported her daughter’s participation because “they talk about things they would be too shy to talk about with boys”(Ibid:4). The teachers acknowledged, however, that they did not know a great deal about the activities of GC, yet held a “perception that a lot of good creative things go on”(Ibid.). Of particular interest is the perceived impact that GC is having on participants. With respect to any changes to her daughter’s friendships, one parent noted, “she seems to be showing more respect. Accepting people more for who you [sic] are”(Ibid.:6). Similarly, one teacher claimed: “they’re sharing more together. Cooperation, teamwork, communications. GC enhances that too. Through that they practice and develop these skills. They then take initiatives in sports, its channelled into something positive… GC girls are confident, they play sports.”(Ibid.:6).

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Among the girls themselves, it was noted that they were developing a greater self-awareness, coupled with a new understanding of social exclusion issues: “Before people said something about me calling one of my friends a faggot. I know now why no one calls people that, that no one says that” (Ibid.:7). With respect to the extent to which Girls’ Club is enabling participants to “give voice” and express themselves, parents, teachers and participants were unanimous in saying that they felt GC had enabled the girls to better identify and communicate their feelings and ideas. With reference to a Girls’ Club participant who, in the past, had been frequently crying because of being bullied, one teacher noted: “I hear her say now, “stop it, leave me alone”. Maybe she’s maturing, maybe GC has helped her to do that by the relationships. I don’t know for sure but I’d like to think so.”(Ibid.:8). In conclusion, the evaluators maintain that the girls participating in GC, as seen by school staff, their parents, and themselves, are developing capacities for self-awareness, perspective-taking and, to some extent, critical thinking. They are also learning non-violent means to conflict resolution, and applying them in ways that are observably benefiting their relationships and their overall outcomes. (Ibid.:10).

Emotional intelligence in action, it would seem.

DESTINATION UP Research shows that differences in levels of emotional literacy and emotional competence stand among the most compelling reasons why some 'children at risk' fail to thrive. The children who succeed in the face of risk factors such as poverty, family dysfunction, and discrimination — in other words those who are resilient—are those who have managed to find, in themselves and with the help of others, the essential attributes of emotional intelligence (Glossop and Mitchell, 2006). These sentiments are echoed by Daniel Goleman (1995) who states: “there is a role that emotional competence plays over and above family and economic factors—it may be decisive in determining the extent to which any given child or teenager is undone by these hardships or finds a core of resilience to survive them.” (p.256). Among today’s young Canadians, one group frequently identified as “at risk” are those in the care of child protection services. These young people have, all

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too commonly, experienced violence, either directly or as witnesses. They have usually faced multiple obstacles along their developmental path. Fortunately, the staff at Nova Scotia’s Heartwood Centre for Community Youth Development has developed a unique series of programs, under the banner Destination: UP (Unlimited Potential), designed to address the specific emotional and developmental needs of this group of young people. Destination: UP has been created by and for youth in the care of child protection services in Nova Scotia. The goal of the program is to give youth in care an opportunity to develop some of the skills and self-awareness necessary if they are to begin to play a more active role in their own lives and in helping to shape the services they receive. Housed in Halifax, Heartwood is a leader in youth development programs across the province, working with young people in discovering their ‘personal best’. Heartwood adheres to a collaborative, community-based approach to building strategies that create lasting and reciprocal benefits for young people in the places where they live. Heartwood’s leadership reflects a profound commitment to building communities from the inside out. They embrace the belief that communities are only as healthy and strong as their individual members. To this end, Heartwood trains and supports community members, young adults and agencies in the skills and tools they require to support meaningful youth participation in building healthy communities. Acknowledging youth as vital community participants is not always popular. In fact, many youth find that their voices and talents are often marginalized, underrepresented and under-utilized. Heartwood’s mission is to work with youth to develop their skills and confidence as community builders. In so doing, Heartwood plays a central role in building emotional intelligence among Destination: UP participants. Although not explicitly stated, program materials make clear the emphasis that Heartwood places on nurturing self-awareness, self-expression, tolerance, cooperation and problem-solving in all of their community building activities. What is Destination: UP? Originally conceived as a wilderness experience followed by three get-togethers spread over a 9 month period, Destination: UP has grown into a multi-faceted series of developmental opportunities available to youth in care at various life stages. It represents a unique learning experience and offers these youth a chance to express themselves, explore new skills and gain self-confidence in new environments. These offerings include:

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Horizons Summer Camp For a week, youth in care from around the province of Nova Scotia experience new adventures while hiking, camping and canoeing and gaining new skills as they learn to work together as a community. Reach… Connecting Youth in Care With Their Potential This in-depth personal development program offers youth in care aged 13-18 a unique opportunity to gain new skills and explore their individual capabilities over a nine-month period. Activities include: a week-long wilderness trip, two weekend-long residential camps and a final celebration event. The focus is on learning how to take healthy risks, set boundaries, and recognize personal strengths. Participants are then encouraged to apply their learning and awareness to themselves, others and their communities. UP Café Up Café offers youth in care across the province an opportunity to gather informally, play games, have fun and participate in learning and skill building activities. Typically run over the March Break, this program offers youth in care a place to go where they will not be judged or marginalized as a result of being in care. Step Up – Transition Program This program is offered to youth in both the Halifax Regional Municipality and the western regions of Nova Scotia preparing to transition out of care. The aim is to support this important process by enabling the youth to develop the necessary skills and knowledge to succeed on their own. To date, the program has been hampered by low enrolment. Clearly, each of these programs is much more than a “recreation experience”. Rather, they offer youth in care valuable opportunities for personal growth and healing. Traditionally, this is a group of young people who find themselves sidelined from mainstream programming. Programs like Destination: UP go a long way to redress this problem and unleash the potential that resides within these youth and their communities. A closer look Destination: UP shares with the afore-mentioned Girls’ Club program a flexibility and fluidity with respect to program delivery. Rather than following a set script or curriculum, Destination: UP reflects a commitment to a core set of objectives and takes its lead from the youth participants to determine the range and scope of activities.

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For example, a typical weekend retreat for current Reach program participants may look something like this: It is Friday night and fourteen young people aged 15-20 come together for a weekend in a “camp” setting to get reacquainted, “hang-out” and catch-up since they last saw each other. Excitement is high and some anxiety gurgles below the surface. Most of the participants have been referred to the program by their social workers and attend willingly. It is rare for a participant to be mandated to participate. Despite the range in age, participants quickly regroup. There are usually four staff on site with the group. The staff come from a variety of backgrounds via experiential education and youth development. All are trained in conflict resolution, critical incident debriefing, youth facilitation, suicide intervention, non-violent crisis intervention and, wilderness and remote first aid. Like the participants, many of the facilitators have extensive experience with the child welfare system. Adrianna MacKenzie, co-founder and facilitator of the Reach program maintains: “because we have a community approach to what we do, the youth are accepting of each other regardless of the age. The youth understand that communities come in lots of shapes and sizes and ages.”(MacKenzie, 2006). Moreover, age is not always reflective of maturity level. The more mature youth are encouraged to help nurture the other youth and, in so doing, gain a range of skills and knowledge in areas of social interaction and mentoring. In this context, the participants are given the opportunity to develop an empathic approach to their relationships and to benefit from the feelings of intrinsic ‘goodness’ that come from helping others. Although not explicitly defined, this type of activity serves to directly enhance the emotional intelligence of each participant. This growth is essential given that emotional competence is central to children’s ability to form relationships and interact with peers. The process of ‘regrouping’ is encouraged through game playing and laughter. Any reluctance to participate in games offers the group an opportunity to talk about their feelings and to encourage and support each other, thereby enhancing a critical component of trust among the group. The first night of any Reach gathering is punctuated by: 1. Personal check-ins: Participants are invited to share with the group something new that they have learned or experienced – good or bad. Various “props” (eg. representational pictures or fabrics) are used to facilitate the expression of

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ideas and feelings – something that can be difficult to do in a group setting. 2. Appreciations: Typically, on the first night, staff express appreciation for each participant (eg. great listening skills or sense of humour). This sets a positive tone for the group and serves to enhance feelings of group inclusion and social cohesion. 3. Community Standards: This activity allows the whole Reach Group to decide what standards they want to follow while together (eg. respectfulness, tolerance, nonjudgementalism, etc…). Everyone is invited to participate and endorse the results. In so doing, participants are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own behaviour, to reflect on the behaviour of others and, to enhance their feelings of belonging to a “community”. 4. Community Building: To enhance trust within the group and foster social cohesion, the group is challenged with a task that they must complete together. For example, they may be given a puzzle to assemble while blindfolded. These types of activities promote effective communication, patience and problem solving. What is “community”? Notions of community are central to the Reach philosophy and practice. When asked to elaborate on how the concept of community guides their work, cofounder, Adrianna MacKenzie (2006) responded: The general idea is that while we are all together for a weekend or for a week we are a community. Not a geographic community per se but a community of people coming together for a similar purpose. When you ask young people what does community mean, they talk about the feelings they associate with positive communities. Things like acceptance, respect, different people, etc. The youth have been together long enough that the Reach group is a community to them… We have done activities and had conversations about community and how they want this community to work. They have an opportunity to create their ideal community and they, most of the time, take it very seriously. When their actions impact someone in a negative way we talk about it and it gets acknowledged that they don’t want those things to be present so they need to change them. Most situations and communities they are involved in don’t give them much say on how it functions.

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It is the case that for many of the Reach participants, friendships are sparse and school interactions are often negative. For this reason, according to MacKenzie (2006), the facilitators of Reach capitalize when they [the participants] are doing really great and make sure to recognize all the positive things that have come out of being a healthy community. We have lost participants and staff and had to go through the emotions of that together but recognize that that is a natural part of communities.

It takes some participants longer than others to develop a strong sense of connection, but once felt, they remain very committed to the program and to each other. Reach facilitators are sensitive to the needs and potential of each participant and support them to grow in their own unique ways. Not surprisingly, MacKenzie (2006) reports that some youth need very direct actions/consequences direction whereas other youth need to work through things on a more emotional level to fully understand. We get to know the youth over time and try different things one on one. We also try different methods with them as a group giving them so much responsibility and pulling that back in if needed. Honesty, caring and a lot of love are thrown in there as well. We work to keep kids in programs unless they become a danger to themselves and others.

This sense of belonging and mutual responsibility is especially important in light of emerging evidence suggesting that “supportive relationships in the family, as well as feelings of connectedness to school, community and peers, are associated with successful health outcomes and development for youth. These relationships may, according to the Canadian Institute for Health Information protect against potentially risky behaviours and promote health-enhancing behaviours.”(CIHI, 2006:69). Learning Focus The Reach weekend is peppered with a range of activities that challenge the youth both physically and emotionally. Outdoor events such as hiking, and rock climbing are paired with team building activities and initiatives. On opening night, the group identifies a learning goal that weaves throughout the weekend and provides some focus to the activities. For example, one year the group chose video making as their goal. The facilitators work with the youth, both one on one and as a group, to help ensure that the chosen goal is met. Throughout the course of the weekend, there will be a pause in activities if an opportunity arises out of need or serendipity for participants to check in on how

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things are going both at an individual and community level. According to MacKenzie, the real team building comes from the discussion and debriefing that happens during these “community meetings”. The discussions provide windows of opportunity for the development of enhanced self-awareness, selfexpression, problem-solving and continued community building. Facilitators will often try to connect these discussions to tangible, real life situations. In one instance, participants considered that “when you tell your social worker to fuck off you generally don’t get far, however, if you tell her what you need in a way that is respectful they are more likely to listen.”(MacKenzie, 2006). Reach compels the youth to deal with real situations and real feelings and to connect the dots between their behaviour and its consequences. According to MacKenzie, not all of the youth are comfortable operating at this level. It is in these instances that the facilitators work one on one with participants to build trust and to support self-expression and problem solving. This type of one on one support and mentoring is critical to the success of all of Heartwood’s work with youth. Heartwood maintains that “research on one-toone mentoring has shown that mentored youth make measurable gains in relations with peers and parents, and in school achievement.”(www.heart wood.ns.ca). The Reach Program lasts for two years. It is expected that at the end, participants will emerge with a much stronger sense of self, of community and of their capacity to make choices that will positively impact their lives and the lives of those around them. Reach is helping to build better communities, one youth at a time. Given that “participation in extra-curricular activities and community youth organizations is associated with better self-reported health, higher perceived self-esteem and feelings of control”(CIHI, 2006: 44) among Canadian youth, there is a pressing need for programs like Destination: UP that are helping to reach some of the hardest to reach youth in our country with a message of hope and empowerment. Evaluation of Destination: UP is underway and was not available at the time of publication.

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CONCLUSION It is the hope of this author that the five profiles highlighted above serve as both a reminder and a beacon of the critical importance of harnessing and nurturing emotional intelligence at both the individual and collective level. Although unique in composition, method of delivery and target audience, each of these programs is deeply grounded in the notion that emotional intelligence is an enabling “asset” that facilitates other types of intellectual, behavioural and social growth. When looked at together, perhaps the greatest strength of these programs is their diversity. They offer evidence that any effort to build emotional intelligence must, of necessity, be as varied and as highly textured as the people they try to reach. To have a transformative impact, EI programming must continue to move beyond the classroom and boardroom and meet people in the various other places where they live and gather. We all stand to gain collectively when, as individuals, we are given opportunities to enhance our capacity to bring empathy and emotional awareness to all of our relationships and daily activities. So, despite the stories of pain and suffering that crowd our news reports on a daily basis, there is room for optimism. Emotional Intelligence can be learned and nurtured at any stage in life. The choice is ours to make. Even Darwin was certain of it. In a burst of optimism, he wrote: “Looking to future generations… the struggle between our higher and our lower impulses will be less severe, and virtue will be triumphant.” (Barasch, 2005:337). Virtue is, in fact, in us all. We simply need to practice at being our best.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY Barasch, Marc Ian (2005). Field Notes on The Compassionate Life: A Search for The Soul of Kindness. Rodale Inc.: rodalestore.com Canadian Council on Social Development (CCSD) (2006). Canada’s Children 2006. www.

Progress of

Canadian Institute for Health Information (2006). Improving the Health of Young Canadians. www.cihi.ca Crooks, C., Scott, K., Francis, K., Kelly, T. & Reid, M. (2006). Eliciting Change in Maltreating Fathers: Goals, Processes, and Desired Outcomes. Elsevier: Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, pp.71-81 Diane Dubeau (2002). Portraits of Fathers. Vanier Institute for the Family, www.vifamily.ca FAST – Families and Schools Together (1998). Families and Schools Together Program Workbook. The Alliance for Children and Families Family Service Canada, Canadian National Evaluation of Outcomes 19962004, Executive Summary. Families and Schools Together, 1-800-668-7807 Family Service Canada, FACT SHEET, Crime Prevention Through Social Development. Families and Schools Together, 1-800-668-7807 Glossop, R. & Mitchell, A. (2005). Heart Smarts. The Vanier Institute of the Family, www.vifamily.ca Goleman, Daniel (1995). Emotional Intelligence, Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Books Loye, David (2000). Darwin’s Lost Theory of Love. Lincoln: ToExcel MacKenzie, Adrianna (2006). E-mail correspondance McCarthy, Jennifer, Families and Schools Together. Review, p.21

CACP 2004 Annual

Natalie Kishchuk Recherche et évaluation inc. (2005). Verdun Elementary : Evaluation Report 2004-2005

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Girls’ Club at

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Power Camp. Power www.powercampnational.ca

Camp

Model

and

Project

Tool.

Public Health Agency of Canada (2002). “On Fathers’ Ground: A Portrait of Projects to Support and Promote Fathering” Raphael, Dennis, “Politics, Political Platforms and Child Poverty in Canada” in Policy Options, July-Aug, 2006, Vol. 27 No.6, IRPP, pp.99-104 Schonert-Reichl, K., Jaramillo, A.M., Smith, V., Chapman-Chen, S. & Liscumb, D., (February 4, 2006). The “Safe Spaces” Study: An Implementation Evaluation of a Social Competence Program for Preschool-Aged Children. The Early Years Conference, Vancouver, BC Scott, K. & Crooks, C. (2004). Effecting Change in Maltreating Fathers: Critical Principles for Intervention Planning. American Psychological Association D12, pp.95-111 Scott, K.L. & Crooks, C.V. (2006a). Evaluation of an Intervention Program for Maltreating Fathers. Conference presentation Scott, K. L. & Crooks, C. V. (2006b). Providing effective intervention to abusive fathers: Strategies and lessons from the Caring Dads program. Invited workshop for the 38th Banff International Conference on Behavioural Science, Banff, AB, March 19-22. Scott, K.L., Francis, K.J. & Wolfe, D.A., . (in press). Intervention with fathers who have been abusive in their families: Accountability guidelines and implications for practice. Chapter to appear in J. Edleson & O. Williams (Eds.) Parenting by Men who Batter. Scott, K., Francis, K., Crooks, C., Kelly, T. (in press). Caring Dads: Helping Fathers Value their Children West Coast Child Care Resource Centre(a). Safe Spaces: Prevention Programming for Young Children. www.wstcoast.org West Coast Child Care Resource Centre(b). www.wstcoast.org

Bullying

Safe Spaces Overview.

Zins, J., Weissberg, R., Wang, M., &Walberg, H. J. (Eds.). (2004). Building Academic Success on Social and Emotional Learning: What Does the Research Say?. New York, NY: Teacher’s College Press

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