Blackbelt Seduction Crash Course

INTRODUCTION

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ou could say that once a guy discovers that the attraction and seduction of women can be handled more like a step-by-step system than a game of chance, his journey begins. From that point onwards, his social life is different, because instead of being in a club wondering ‘Will I get lucky tonight?’ he thinks ‘Which group of people shall I approach, interact with, select a woman from and succeed not in ‘getting lucky’ but in getting ATTRACTION?’.

I don’t know how acquainted you are with the subject of picking up women, if you want to call it that, but regardless of your current degree of understanding and level of experience, this crash course will serve you in the same way. It has been put together to give you a strong overall view of the art of attraction and seduction, the Black Belt Seduction way. Instead of being a goat on the ground, forced to bumble your way through your first lessons, you’re a bird soaring in the sky. You are able to look down and get a very calm and comprehensive summary of everything you need to know to start your journey into the world of the pickup artist on the right foot. So let’s not waste any time.

Where do I start? That’s a good question. There is no official place to ‘start’ because not all men are the same. If every man was equally inept in certain areas and equally skilled in the rest, then we could have a nice clear starting point, middle point and ending point—but they aren’t and we can’t. This crash course is probably the best place to start because it gives you a little bit of information on a lot of different areas. These areas, of course, have been selected because they feature in the list of questions most men have when they’re just starting out in this game. They’re the core topics, if you like. But how about some more specific instructions, aside from working your way through this course. Let’s have a look. •

Get your style and appearance up to scratch There’s no point disadvantaging yourself from the outset. It’s important you exhibit up-to-date style in the way you dress and generally present yourself. You don’t have to be one of these straight-off-the-catwalk types, or a guy who spends more time staring in the mirror than the women he’s hoping to attract; just make sure you’re presenting your physical self in the best light possible. Look in the store windows of popular male fashion outlets, take a look in some men’s magazines and look at the styles and dress-sense of men who already appear to be successful in the dating game. There are some rights and wrongs (choosing ugly shoes, wearing garish colors, wearing sunglasses indoors, having a goofy haircut, etc.), but you don’t have to worry too much about pulling off a specific image—develop your own style based on trends that you know are currently attractive and representative of a socially-intelligent guy.

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Start going-out a lot You might hate trying to meet women in nightclubs, or nightclubs might be your favorite places to hang out and socialize. Either way, by going to nightclubs and bars regularly, you effectively develop and hone your social skills. You get used to being around groups of people (who you’ll sooner or later be approaching and talking to) and you generally get to feel comfortable in that environment.

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Learn the most basic principles and arm yourself with a couple of choice tools You’ll probably read this whole course before starting to go out there and make some approaches, but nevertheless at this early point in your journey, you should make sure you learn the most basic principles WELL and choose a couple of techniques you can rely on to help you get through your first approaches and conversations. For learn the most basic and useful principles, you should refer to the following sections of this crash course.

WHAT IS VALUE AND HOW DO I POSSESS IT? WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE MALE BODY LANGUAGE? HOW DO I BEAT APPROACH ANXIETY? HOW DO I INVENT MY OWN OPENERS? HOW DO I KEEP CONVERSATION FLOWING? Click any of those titles to jump to the relevant topic. With just those basic pieces of knowledge under your belt, you’ll be ready to start practising being a ‘pickup artist’. Once you know about value and attractive male body language, you’ll be attractive to a lot of women. Once you’ve started to remove your approach anxiety, you’ll be able to go up to a group of women and start talking to them without too much fear. Once you know how to invent your own openers, you’ll be able to turn your approaches into conversations that last more than 60 seconds and which have the potential to turn into attraction-based interactions. And, finally, once you know how to keep conversation flowing you’ll…well…you’ll be set. Those topics will give you a basic skill-set and THAT is where you should start.

What is value and how do I possess it? We already know what the standard definition of ‘value’ is: “A measure of those qualities that determine merit, desirability, usefulness, or importance.” Except we’re not going to use that definition, because we’re not talking about the value of a business or a car. We’re talking about men, which of course includes you. We should therefore change the above definition so it reads as follows: “A measure of those qualities that determine merit, desirability, usefulness, or importance of a man in the eyes of women.” When women ‘decide’ whether or not they are attracted to you, they take into consideration your value. Your value is the sum total of your positive and negative personal traits, characteristics and modes of behavior. However, when considering your value, women only include traits, characteristics and modes of behavior which directly relate to the prospect of dating you—or being your partner. So, in summing up your value (and therefore how sexually attractive you appear to them), women will care much less about which vegetables you like and don’t like than how many friends you have and what those friends are like—because if they dated you your social circle would matter more to them than your vegetable preferences.

In other words, the things that define your value (attractiveness) all relate to what women want and need from you as a partner. These things include: The ability to: • • •

Protect them and emotionally support them Make them feel happy Help them prosper socially

And: •

Strong genes (based on health and physical appearance/looks)

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Other strong and desirable traits (shown through positive modes of behaviour such as confidence, motivation, ability to cope in difficult situations, etc.)

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Social standing (how much you are respected, admired, copied and looked up to by other people, male and female)

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Personal integrity and a strong sense of self-confidence (not confidence in the normal sense, as used to be successful in social situations, but confidence relating to your opinion of yourself: who you are, what you stand for, what you care about, what you’re capable of, etc.)

Those are some of the things you need to possess to be of high value in the eyes of women. The more of those traits and characteristics you have, the more attractive you not only appear to be, but actually are to the opposite sex. Of course, you now have two tasks ahead of you: 1. 2.

Adopt or develop those traits Successfully exhibit and broadcast them to women

It’s no use having all of those great things if women don’t get to see them. That is why you need more than a high-value persona to be successful with women; you need to have the necessary skills to show women that you have those great things. That’s the only way they’ll think “This guy is amazing. I want him and I want him to want me.” Most men have the capacity to develop their value to a level that allows most women to consider them attractive enough to date them. The trick is removing as much of your LOW value behavior as possible and replacing it with as much HIGH value behavior as you can. For some guys this takes longer than it does for others—it all depends on how much value you have to start with. It’s important you don’t get too caught up in assessing your value, because ultimately that’s not the kind of man you want to be. You just want to be naturally laid-back, comfortable with yourself, and capable of making women feel good about themselves without giving them the impression that you want something from them. That is fundamentally what being a high value male is about. You’ll need to know more about possessing and demonstrating high social value before you can be truly proficient at attracting women, but for now you have enough information to be going on. Your new knowledge of what value is will form one of the fundamental aspects of your new attractive persona.

Do looks or money matter? The reason men wonder about this question so much is surely because when they look at women they consider to be beautiful they almost always see them dating men who are: •

Physically attractive (handsome, symmetrical face, good hair, well-built body, etc.)

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Wealthy (a businessman, a rock star, an actor, etc.)

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Both: attractive and rich

These men therefore assume that physical attractiveness and wealth are prerequisites for attracting and dating beautiful women. The $64,000 question is: is it their looks and bank balance that allow these men to date these women or is it something else? Brutal truth is necessary here—there’s no point lying to yourself. Good looks not only help, they give a man a big advantage in the dating game. They just do, it’s a fact. Any man who denies that fact either secretly resents that it’s true or is so oblivious to the rules of the dating game that he’ll never stand a chance of succeeding in it anyway. You, I hope, are neither of these men. At this point, we can separate readers into two main categories: 1. Good looking men who now know they have a significant advantage in the dating game (thanks to their good looks). 2. Men who don’t think they’re good looking enough to have an advantage in the dating game (because they lack the good looks necessary to possess an advantage). All pretty straightforward so far. The money question is the easiest to answer, so we can get it out of the way right now: no, women don’t care. That is to say, women don’t care unless you give them a reason to care. You’ll notice this principle a number of times as you further your understanding of the dating game. For example, if a woman asked you what you worked as and you said, “Actually, I’m broke. I’m unemployed…looking for a job” it’s quite likely she’d think less of you (or consider you to have less value) than if you rephrased the summary of your situation in the following way: “I’ve just come out of a job managing a team at a design firm and next I’m hopefully going to go into a designer role at a bigger, better place.” You’ve not lied here (well, you’d be lying if you repeated this line yourself—you need to use your own life’s facts). You’ve just reframed your situation and given a positive, high value answer. The same thing roughly applies to the question of good looks and whether being very good looking, or more to the point, being average or below average drastically affects your chances of having success with women. If most people would rate you a 7 out of 10 on the ‘looks’ scale but you act like you’re a 4 out of 10, then you’ll probably be perceived as about a 5 out of 10 on the overall attractiveness scale (which is a total score based on everything about you). If you’re a 10 out of 10 but for some strange reason see yourself (and therefore act as if) you are a 4, you’ll probably be perceived as about a 7/10 on the overall attractiveness scale. It’s not an exact science, it’s just a way of explaining the following fact: The better looking a man is, the more likely it is that he’s had success with women from an early age and, therefore, the higher the chance is of him possessing and demonstrating the most important qualities a man can possess and demonstrate to appear attractive to women: confidence, social intelligence, motivation, a casual attitude, humor, emotional awareness, etc. In other words, his good looks give him success and his success develops strong, ‘alpha male’ tendencies within his personality.

Imagine if a man was born with a brain that had something slightly wrong with it. His looks are average but when he looks in the mirror he sees a 10 out of 10: the perfect personification of male beauty. Think of what this knowledge, albeit flawed and inaccurate, would allow this man to achieve socially. Would he do better with women than a man of equally average looks who is aware of his mediocre physical appearance? Of course he would. Absolutely, positively, yes. And this is the lesson you must learn and believe in. Good looks provide an advantage. Average looks are only a disadvantage when they affect a man’s belief in himself. And looks that are way below average disadvantage a man only so far as he cannot compensate for his mediocrity through positive behaviour and big demonstrations of high social value. Read and re-read those facts, think about where you fit in and know the overriding principle: your looks are fixed, your modes of behavior are not. Fix the latter and the former either becomes unimportant (if you’re average or below) or merely a nice addition to your overall level of attractiveness (if you’re above average). Either way, you can achieve massive success.

Does a lack of sexual experience matter? To answer this question, first you should read the answer above, which explains the real deal regarding good looks and money and the relatively small roles they should play in the dating game, providing you’ve got skills in other areas. Now, let’s continue. Sexual experience gives a man the following: •

An understanding of the female body and, to some degree, the female mind

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The skills to pleasure a woman

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A feeling of overall life experience—the man thinks he has progressed since he was an inexperienced juvenile

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The feeling of being a real man who women would want as their boyfriend

A man lacking in sexual experience is likely to feel some quite extreme anxiety because he doesn’t possess any of the things just listed. He will feel that his lack of sexual experience… •

Will make him look inept and clueless when it comes to dealing with the female body

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Makes him feel behind his peers. He doesn’t feel as much of a man. Or he feels like a man with a lot less life experience than most other guys

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Makes him think women will not regard him as boyfriend-material

Thinking any of the above will clearly hinder a man in the dating game. BUT, it’s not his lack of sexual experience that will hold him back. It is his negative attitude, which is a product of his sexual inexperience. Imagine a man’s family is killed by the mob. The man takes revenge by blowing up the mob’s headquarters. It isn’t the fact that the man’s family is dead that makes the bomb went off, it’s because the man’s reaction to his family’s death was so negative. That negativity manifested itself into some very destructive behavior. Sometimes it seems like certain causes cannot help but result in certain symptoms (sexual inexperience causing symptoms such as shyness, insecurity, etc.), but that’s not always true. If you are sexually inexperienced, then you should remember the following.

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As long as you exhibit strong, confident body language, you will appear to be comfortable with yourself.

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As long as you react in the right way to being touched by women (you don’t freak out, look embarrassed or overwhelmed, etc.), women won’t know that you aren’t used to being touched.

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As long as you do your very best to initiate physical touching with a woman, the woman won’t wonder why you’re not progressing things and she won’t think you’re inexperienced.

People only know as much as you subconsciously or consciously tell them. It isn’t deceptive to appear confident and experienced. So that should be your goal. By achieving that goal, you’ll be able to successfully attract a woman and gain sexual experience, which will of course cancel out the original problem.

Does age matter? The theme of the last two answers has been: X only matters as much as you allow X to matter. The answer to the question ‘Does age matter?’ sort of continues this theme, but does still require some extra explanation. There are some social rules that are extremely difficult to break or circumvent. One of them is: a woman becomes less attracted to a man, the further away he gets from the woman’s golden age bracket. The bracket changes depending on how old the woman is who’s judging the man on his level of attractiveness. A 50-year-old woman will easily find a 50-year-old man attractive if he demonstrates the right things. An 18-year-old, however, would definitely be a lot harder for a 50year-old man to win over. That’s easy to understand, everyone knows that. The reasons the age brackets differ can be understood when you think about the issue from a logical point of view. A woman will only find a man attractive if that man can offer her something she wants. A lot of this stuff relates to genetics and what’s programmed into our brains through evolution. Evolution has made women seek men who are young enough, strong enough and healthy enough to live long enough and strong enough to protect them and help them raise kids. Women who are on the older side themselves are more relaxed about this rule, as explained above. They have less to offer in the way of youth, health, etc. so they expect less from men. It sounds really harsh, but it’s not too bad when you think about it. We all want the best we can get. We want to be paired with people who are similar to us or an improvement on us: a similar age, a similar or higher level of physical attractiveness, etc. So! Yeah, age matters if you fall at either of the extreme ends of the scale. The further away you are from your key demographic (18-24 year olds for example), the harder attracting women in that demographic will probably be. Your persona and ‘game’ will need to especially good for you to achieve success. But you really don’t have anything to worry about. Check out the following table. It roughly sums up what age you need to be for your age NOT to hinder you in attracting women of varying demographics. Your age 18-25 26-30 31-35 36-43 44-46

Your easily achievable female demographic 18+ 18+ 24+ 26+ 32+

Your age 47-55 56-50

Your easily achievable female demographic 39+ 45+

Keep in mind that these guidelines can be broken if you have enough social skill. They’re a rough guide to what age means in the dating game (in the Western world).

What is attractive male body language? The sole purpose of language, regardless of what kind of language it is, is to arrange information in special ways so that it can be used to achieve something. A programming language follows this rule, a verbal language follows it and, of course, body language adheres to it too. It’s important that you exhibit the right kind of body language when you are around women because if you exhibit the wrong kind, you risk appearing as one or more of the following things: • • • • • • • • • •

Unconfident Unsure of yourself Anxious Nervous Inexperienced Out of your depth A follower, not a leader Unmotivated Embarrassed Confused

None of those things is attractive. You need to exhibit the opposite of all of those things to appear sexually attractive to the opposite sex. So, how do you do that? We must know what your body language needs to say before we can go over how it’s going to say it. You want your body language to show the following about you: • • • • • • •

You feel comfortable and calm You feel dominant, but not overly so, over your environment and the people in it You are sure of yourself You are masculine You are positive You have power and energy You are in control

Now, how do you convey all of those positive attributes through the things you do with your body? Economy of movement To look laid-back and sure of yourself, you need to be economical with your body movements. In other words, don’t move more than you have to. We’re not talking about being a zombie or a vegetable. We’re talking about removing all of the superfluous, unnecessary movements and actions from your body language, because they are so often products of anxiety and insecurity. If you remove the products of anxiety, you effectively remove any evidence of it—women therefore see you as confident.

The kinds of unnecessary actions and movements we’re talking about are: •

Touching your face when you don’t need to (when most people touch their faces, it’s not to scratch an itch or brush away some dust, it’s because their emotions are telling them to release some tension through movement).

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Fidgeting, shifting your weight from one side to another, from one foot to the other, etc.

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Showing unnecessary facial expressions, like raising your eyebrows too much, pursing your lips, biting your lips, biting the inside of your cheek, etc.

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Fiddling with objects, like a drink, a button, something in your pocket, etc.

You get the idea. The reason you want to remove these kinds of things from your body language is because the only reason you’d do them would be due to your mind experiencing anxiety or worry— and that’s not something you want women to see. Speed and flow of movement For all other movements, you want to make sure you move fluidly and smoothly. Don’t jerk your hands about or snatch for things, like drinks. Go slower, but not too slow. Just focus on your actions being calm. Casualness and Relaxedness To look relaxed and casual, you should remember to stay loose. Tension in your shoulders should be released. Take a look at the following photo-realistic illustrations.

The top one shows the guy sitting next to the girl. He is leaning towards her as they speak. So many men do this. They think it’s good to look like you’re listening and focussed on the woman, so they lean right in to get their heads closer to her. The trouble with doing this is that you don’t look relaxed; you look tense. If you are leaning forward, your muscles must be tensed and the woman knows this. By leaning forward, you show that you’re a bit too interested in what the woman is saying—you’re outcome dependant, desperate to make the conversation go well and keep it from dying. It’s like you want the woman to focus on only you, so you get right up close to her. A much more relaxed, casual and confident thing to do is sit straight or even lean back a little. You can still hear the woman and if you need to raise your voice a little so she can hear you, you do just that. This way, you look calm and not overly committed to the conversation (which is attractive to the woman). The bottom left illustration shows the importance of having good posture. You should keep your back straight, your shoulders rolled back but still relaxed and your chin up. Having the right posture can make the difference between looking tired, bored, unconfident and unhealthy and looking strong, awake, healthy and confident. The bottom right illustration shows how leaning against something can instantly make you look more relaxed and casual. When you stand bolt upright as you talk to a woman, you look too alert, like you’re ready to sprint away at the first sign of danger. A confident, relaxed guy doesn’t appear this way. He is secure enough to relax against a wall or sit back against his seat, instead of leaning forward. Dominance and Control The more space you take up around you, the more dominant you tend to look. So, when you sit down, stretch out your legs a little, instead of keeping them tucked under your seat. Rest your elbow on something next to you. Recline a little. Don’t do it too much, or you’ll look try-hard. Walking A confident attractive male walk goes like this. You should look like you’re walking to get somewhere, but you aren’t rushing to get there. You’re walking with purpose but not haste. Your chin should be up, your arms should be relaxed and moving calmly by your sides, your back should be straight and your chest should be pushed out just a little bit—too much and you’ll look stupid. Look at guys in movies. Pick one that looks like he has the kind of confidence you want and study his walk. Adopt the positive things you notice.

How do I beat approach anxiety? First let’s define what approach anxiety is. The pure definition of approach anxiety is: The feeling of nervousness, apprehension and dread you experience while contemplating the idea of approaching a woman or group of people containing women with the intention of trying to create attraction. In fact, not just while contemplating approaching them, but also while you’re physically walking towards them and when you open your mouth to speak your first words. The physical symptoms include a dry mouth, profuse sweating, a lump in your throat, nervous body language, feelings of self-doubt and an overall drop in mood. Approach anxiety sucks, because for most men it’s the only thing that’s stopping them from being able to meet, interact with and hopefully attract new women. But for some reason all men experience it to some degree or another. Let’s briefly see why that is.

The Causes of Approach Anxiety There are many reasons men experience approach anxiety, some of them are: •

It is evolutionarily programmed into the male brain to fear approaching women because in the distant past if the approach was unsuccessful it could result in the man being ostracised from his group and his chances of finding a partner could therefore be effectively reduced to nil.

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Men fear the embarrassment of looking like a fool, not least in front of the women they look up to and consider so attractive.

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Men feel that their motives for approach random women are transparent—they want to hit on them. They see this as a major hurdle.

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Men don’t want to have the idea of being socially inept and unattractive reinforced in their minds by failure, so they avoid failure by avoiding approaches.

The concept of approach anxiety can be broadened and re-categorized as a general fear of socially failing in front of attractive women. It’s as simple as that: you don’t want to look like an idiot in front of hot women. You wouldn’t care if you spilt your drink on yourself in front of an 84-year-old woman half as much as if you would if you did the same thing in front of a woman you’d consider to be a true ‘10’. There are two main ways to reduce your fear of failing. The first is to philosophize about the problem, by asking yourself questions like: •

What is the worst possible thing that could happen after I make this approach?

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How much do I care about what a person I’ve never met before thinks of me, especially if I’ll never meet them again?

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Why should I be more nervous than the person I’m approaching? What is the difference between them and me?

This kind of philosophical approach can help if it’s given the right amount of dedication. You need to get deep into what makes you tick and what the facts really are: attractive women aren’t any different to wrinkly old women or young guys at the level of the brain. There is no objective physiological reason you can’t approach a group of 10s, confidently start a conversation with them and somewhere down the line attract and close one of the girls. It’s just hard at the moment, because like most men you’ve a got a lot of unhelpful programming locked in your head. Anyway, putting the philosophical approach aside, the easiest and probably the most effective way to beat approach anxiety is called habituation. If someone is petrified of spiders, philosophising might help them adjust their understanding of what the facts are: spiders aren’t harmful, etc. But if that person has a spider dropped in their lap, they’re still going to jump 6 feet in the air. The fear is engrained in their head. So, they should use habituation to solve the problem. First they force themselves to think about spiders. Then they think about holding a spider. Then they watch a film of someone holding spiders. Then they see someone in real life hold a spider. Then—after a LOT of previous habituation—they hold one themselves. The process is more complicated than that, but it’s a good example of what habituation is. The more you’re exposed to negative or neutral stimuli, the less you’ll respond to it.

So, you need to get out there and start making approaches. You need to treat it seriously—no messing around. Get in there and approach a group. You’ll be scared at first. And at second. And at third. But slowly you’ll become more acclimatised to it.

How do I invent my own openers? An opener is a statement or a question that you use to start a conversation with a woman or a group of people containing women. There are good openers and there are bad openers. Good openers follow these rules. •

They are unusual and not boring. They are not what women usually get asked by random men.

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They are high value. The man should not be seeking approval from the woman or showing too much interest in her too soon.

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They should be fairly short, so that the women don’t tune out halfway through the opener.

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If there can be a little bit of humor in the opener, then it’s a benefit.

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The opener shouldn’t feel too contrived, like it’s purely a way to start talking to the women. It should appear to have a some depth. The women should want to respond, not just feel like they have to.

The problem a lot of guys who are just starting out in this game have is that they don’t feel comfortable using canned material—pre-written or planned openers. First, they usually don’t feel like the openers match their personalities, which makes them harder to deliver effectively, and second, they worry that the woman will have heard the opener before—which obviously wouldn’t be a good thing. First off, most openers aren’t that common and no opener is more common than the most frequently used pick-up lines. So you don’t need to worry that much about getting caught out. Next, the openers don’t feel natural for you. This can be a more important issue, because one vital ingredient for an opener going well is naturalness. If you look uncomfortable or unsure of what you’re saying when you deliver the opener, it is going to die, along with your chances of attracting one of the women. Here is what is recommended you do when you’re just starting out. •

Use the best canned material you can at the very start. Select 3-5 great openers and trial them to see which two are the best, then select the one which beats all the rest. Use that one to build your confidence and hone your approach skills.

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Adapt your two best openers so that they match your personality and delivery style a little more. Learn from what you’ve been experiencing; when you’ve delivered your openers, which choice of words, speed of delivery and level of energy worked best?

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Now invent your own opener based on the 5 rules you’ve just learned. Make it quick, interesting and unusual and deliver it confidently and WITHOUT it seeming like all you’re trying to do is wriggle your way into the group.

For example, some well known and very successful openers relate to the differences between men and women. Women seem to like talking about this kind of thing when they’re huddled in groups,

because it can be quite controversial and gossipy. So, based on that knowledge, you can invent your own opener. Which of the following two openers would you say is best? 1. “Hey, quick question. Do you think guys are better at reading maps than women?” 2. “Hey, I need an opinion on something important. Do you girls think it’s okay for a guy to carry an umbrella? *Yeah, sure!* What about if he carries it even when it’s sunny, to keep the heat off him?” The second one is better, because it’s more unusual, more specific, more interesting and more humorous.

How do I know if she is attracted to me? This question is a little bit slippery, so we need to break it down a bit. The question can mean a few different things, depending on who the word ‘she’ is referring to and what kind of ‘attraction’ you’re wondering about. For example, this question could be asked about the following scenarios and produce three very different answers. 1.

I’ve been married to my wife for twenty years. Is she attracted to me?

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There’s a girl in my biology class who I talk to quite a lot. Is she attracted to me?

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I’ve just started a conversation with three girls. 2 minutes have passed, is the one of the left attracted to me?

Today we’ll mostly focus on the kind of scenario described in number three. In a way, this kind of scenario is the purest you can get. The women have only just met you. They have no preconceptions of what you’ll be like—no one has told them about you. They can only judge you based on what you look like and what you say and do. In this situation, how can you determine whether or not a woman is attracted to you? Here are the things you should look and listen out for. Head and Face •

Eye contact increases. She holds your gaze for longer, more intense periods before looking away.

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She starts to smile more than before. When she does smile, you can see that the muscles around her eyes crinkle just a little – indicating a genuine smile.

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She nods more while you’re talking, showing that you’re on the same level and that she agrees with what you’re saying, even if you’re not making a specific statement or expressing a definite opinion on something. Combined with wide open eyes and a smile, increased head nodding is a very strong sign a girl is attracted to you.

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She tilts her head slightly to one side. This head gesture indicates that she subconsciously wants you to know that she’s listening and interested in what you’re saying.

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She licks her lips more often, drawing your attention to her mouth, which is a secondary sexual feature of the female body.

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She purses/clenches her lips LESS often. Pursed or tensed lips are often signs a person is a little bored. Women don’t mind tensing their lips around people they’re not attracted to, but will rarely

do it when talking to men they feel sexual chemistry with—simply because they need their lips to look attractive and inviting. •

She bites the inside of her cheek LESS often. This is the mouth’s equivalent of the twiddling of our thumbs. The less she does it, the better it is for you and your chances with her.

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She tilts her head downwards a little, lowering her chin down closer to her chest and widening her eyes at the same time. Women subliminally do this because it makes their faces more attractive to the basic instincts present in the male brain. Bigger eyes appeal to the male sexual psyche.

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Conversely, women often lower their upper eyelids a little when they’re attracted to the man they’re talking to. They are often known as “bedroom eyes” and are reminiscent of the facial expression seen on women’s faces when they reach orgasm. When women give you bedroom eyes while you talk to them they’re indicating that they’re in a sexual state and want you to know it.

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She gives you a sort of slightly sideways glance instead of positioning her face so it’s looking directly at you. This is a woman’s way of creating sexual tension between you and her. The sideways glance is saying “chase me”.

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She tilts her head to the side slightly. It’s not only a sign she wants to appear to be listening to you and everything you’re saying, it’s also a way of exposing her neck to you and therefore appearing a little vulnerable. She sees you as an attractive, dominant man and wants you to know it.

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She flicks her hair from one side to the other. Doing this accomplishes three things. First, it draws your attention to her long, feminine hair (a positive sexual feature in the male evolutionary brain). Second, it exposes her neck (see previous point). Third, it’s a noticeable, attention-grabbing motion. The movement makes you want to look at the person that’s made it. Just like when you’re walking down the street and you see a movement out of the corner of your eye. You naturally glance in its direction to see what it is and what it could mean to you, your safety and your general situation.

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She draws your attention to her mouth by touching or stoking her lips.

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She rubs her face, head or neck for a moment with one of her hands. This raises her arm, drawing her breasts up, closer to your line of sight and exposes her underarms – an effective way of blasting her pheromones out in your direction.

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This one mainly applies before you approach and start talking to a girl. She makes eye contact with you, then, a split second after your eyes meet, looks away and turns her head either downwards or to the side.

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Her blink rate increases, which draws your attention to her eyes and long, fluttering eyelashes.

Arms and Torso •

She drops any physical barriers that were present between you and her. For example, her arms held across her body or drink held in front of her chest.

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She strokes the back of one of her hands with the other, drawing attention to her soft skin and the idea of caressing it.

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When she makes gestures with her hands, they move in close to you for a moment, perhaps even touching you briefly.

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She pulls her upper arms tight in to the sides of her breasts, making them look fuller and more pert.

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While you talk, she rests one of her elbows in the palm of her hand while holding her other hand palm-up.

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She gently encircles one of her wrists with her hand and glides it up and down her arm.

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She exposes one or both of her wrists to you. This indicates that she recognizes and likes your dominant presence and shows that she’s happy being submissive to you.

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She sits with her torso facing in your direction with good posture, not slumping.

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She fingers and plays with her jewelry, especially her necklace.

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She touches your hand, shoulder or thigh while talking to you.

Legs and Feet •

She brushes her thigh up against yours more than once.

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She crosses her legs and POINTS THEM IN YOUR DIRECTION. This accomplishes two things. First, it makes her legs look longer (which is a turn-on and attractive to the subliminal male mind because it indicates youthfulness, and therefore fertility, in the female). Second, by pointing them in your direction she’s signalling that it’s you she wants you to notice her and her sexy legs.

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She crosses her legs, dangling her foot with her shoe hanging a little way off. Women wearing high heels do this a lot. It’s a subliminal message that, as well as doing what’s described in the point before this one, says: “I’m tired and about ready for bed…”

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She crosses then re-crosses her legs the other way. This doubles the effectiveness of crossed female legs, because of the very noticeable movement that’s involved in the action of re-crossing them.

Voice/Speech •

She interjects while you’re talking with enthusiastic words and phrases like, “Really?”, “Yeah…” and “Mmm…” This shows that she wants you to know that she’s interested in what you’re saying – a good way of getting you to like her back.

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She matches your speech speed and tonality. This means that she’s speaking at the same rate as you and with similar inflections and nuances.

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She echoes some of the phrases and words you have primarily been using. For example, a few minutes after you’ve said it, she might also use the word “gigantic” or say the phrase “Do you know what I mean?”.

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The general tone of her voice becomes more enthusiastic and happy-sounding. She is quicker to respond to the things you say and not afraid to interrupt you. This shows that she feels really comfortable in your presence.

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She uses the words “I”, “my” and “me” more often to get you thinking and imagining her as much as possible in your mind’s eye.

General/Behavioural Changes •

She moves in closer to you so that your bodies are less than 12 inches apart.

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She mirrors your actions a moment after you’ve made them. For example, by taking a sip of her drink just after you take sip of yours.

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She uses flirtier language and smiles in a mischievous way at you (women will only tend to do this if you yourself are flirty).

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Your gut tells you she is enjoying your company and is attracted to you. Trust your gut if it’s giving you this impression – the chances are that you HAVE been picking up on positive signs from the female and that they are good indicators that she’s sexually attracted to you.

Remember that no woman will ever give you all of the signals and signs listed here (imagine how much she’d be doing with her arms, legs and head!) Instead, you’ll notice a few of them. For example, exposed wrists, a tilted head and lots of words that signal agreement with what you’re saying. You’ll develop your attraction-detection ability over time, but when you’re just starting out, focus on just a few of the main signs of attraction. • • • • • •

Lots of extended smiling Giggling Looking up at you, tilting her chin down Moving closer to you Teasing you to see how you’ll react and to get you to tease her back Touching you in any way

How do I keep conversation flowing? YOU: “So, you from around here?” HER: “Well, I live about half an hour away.” YOU: “Oh, right. You been here all your life then?” HER: “Yeah, pretty much!” YOU: “Cool. And…erm…what kind of stuff do you like?” HER: “I don’t know. Normal stuff really.” YOU: ”Cool. Bye!” *RUNS* This is a pretty typical example of the problem men face when in conversation with a woman they barely know, whom they’d love to sexually attract. Because they’ve never met, they don’t know anything about each other. As a result, they’ve got all their work ahead of them. They need to cover hobbies, likes and dislikes, favorite music, current dating status, where they live, what they work as…blah, blah, blah. It’s hard work sometimes, which is why some women don’t enjoy the idea of launching into long conversations with guys they don’t now (and who are probably only talking to them for one reason anyway).

So, based on these facts, you should start all conversations with women in a very specific way; it should be fun, unserious and NOT too deep. •

Don’t start reeling questions off at her. She WILL answer them, but she probably WON’T enjoy the conversation, because it’s so one-sided. Think about it, is you asking a hundred questions a good demonstration of independent high social value? No. Why do you care so much? Why aren’t you laid back enough to allow HER to speak and ask you questions?

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Avoid the standard questions until later. Don’t ask what she works as…don’t ask anything like that. If you have to ask a standard question, make sure it’s preceded and followed by a fun, unusual statement or question.

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Learn the art of prompting. This is a great way to give the woman an opportunity to speak without asking her a question (which can feel way too much like an interview). She says something, like “Well, I wouldn’t say I LOVE my job. It’s okay.” And you prompt her to speak again by saying something like “Yeah, I bet you’re always wandering around the office talking to all the boys.” Think how much better a slightly teasing statement like this is than a question like “How long have you worked there?” Most men never venture out of the safe zone when they’re in conversation with women, which is no doubt why they never get to venture into attraction land with those same women.

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Remember that you don’t need to always be in a one-to-one conversation with your ‘target’ woman (if we have to use the word ‘target’). In fact, it’s often better to be talking as part of a threesome (you, plus the target, plus one of your friends or her friends). This releases a lot of the tension because neither you or your target has to be speaking to keep the conversation alive, thanks to that extra person. You can also say things to the third party person that tease your target. You can ask them questions about her in FRONT of her, which is always fun.

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Finally, as long as you stay really relaxed and don’t look panicked when the conversation slows down a bit (don’t immediately jump in to save it, etc.), it should be fine. If you feel you and target slipping into the standard back-and-forth conversation model, switch it up by bringing someone else in or taking her to meet your friends at another location within the venue. Keep things changing and the conversation will keep on flowing.

How do I touch a woman when I first meet her? Tactility (physical touching) is a vital part of interacting with women if you plan on sexually attracting them. Without it, it’s nearly impossible to transition from stranger mode into a woman’s partner prospect. Tactility is what should separate your relationship with a new woman from her relationship with any other guy in the venue (as well as the banter, flirting and teasing you and her are engaging in). So, how do you start tactility off on the right foot? Or any part of her anatomy, for that matter.☺ Your first goal when it comes to tactility is letting the woman know that you are naturally tactile person. You aren’t a groper, you’re just comfortable with mutual physical touching. By establishing this fact from the outset, you’ll be able to transition into frequent instances of tactility without it seeming like a sudden shock to the woman. If you go from no touching, to suddenly resting your hand on the woman’s knee, it will feel intense and forced, like you’ve suddenly decided to get things moving. You obviously don’t want this. Two very good ways to establish tactility early on are:

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The shoulder touch You lightly touch the outside of the woman’s upper arm as you say something energetic or funny. If you do this wrong, it will seem extremely random and scary. So wait until you know it will feel natural—but don’t wait all night. If you can’t pull off the shoulder touch, you can do a bit of…

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Hand tactility Our hands aren’t a very intimate part of our bodies, because we’re always touching stuff with them, shaking other people’s hands, etc. So, they are an excellent place to start when you first initiate tactility with a woman. After your opener, transition into normal conversation. Keep the conversation flowing in a fun way, with a bit of joking and teasing thrown in—there should be high energy throughout. Now transition into a topic that relates to men and women in some way. For example, “Yeah, my little sister is like that. You know what’s crazy, she’s 12 years old but has the same size hands as me. So either I have the hands of a little girl or my sister is a mutant freak. Obviously I reassure her that the second thing is true. Here…” You then raise your hand palm outwards. The girl in front of you will lift hers and place it against yours to compare sizes. If her hand is roughly the same size as yours, you can quickly say “Mutant freak” then move your hand to the next girl. This is a GREAT way to tease your target and initiate hand tactility with her. Use this routine, because it’s golden.

How do I get her phone number? The simple answer to this question is: if you can sexually attract her, you won’t need to get her phone number, because she’ll be practically throwing it at you. Of course, this question is more about exactly what you say and do after attracting the woman to make getting her phone number a smooth, stressfree action. There are three pre-requisites that you should make sure are in place before you attempt what’s known as a number-close. 1.

There MUST be sexual attraction. You need to have spoken to each other long enough for her to feel attracted to you in a pretty big way. Use your knowledge of female body language, along with your gut instinct, to determine how much you have or haven’t attracted your target before you do the number close.

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There should at least a little bit of comfort developed between you and your target. Comfort happens after attraction has been established. It is created through slightly deeper one-on-one conversation, during which you discuss more personal topics, likes dreams and ambitions.

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You should be suitably distant from her friends. If you’re in the middle of her friends when you ask for her number she might feel uncomfortable, even if she’s attracted to you.

Next, no matter what words you use to propose the idea of you and her swapping numbers (which is a lot better than you just getting hers), you should deliver those words in the following way. •

Confidently. If you’re nervous, the number close won’t go as smoothly as it could.

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Clearly. No mumbling or stuttering allowed.

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Directly. In conversation, it’s important you don’t quickly skip from subject to subject because doing so shows that you don’t really care what you talk about with the girl, just that you are talking to her. This lowers your value in her mind, because you’re putting her on a pedestal that says she deserves special attention and adoration. In closing, a similar concept applies. When you’re specific in your closing suggestion, you show that you are interested in doing a particular thing with the girl; something you’ve thought about and decided would be fun. When you make the suggestion to the girl, she recognizes this and likes it–-which makes her say ‘yes’. However, if you are vague in what you suggest when you close, the following message is conveyed to the girl: “I don’t really care what we do or when we do it, all I know is that I want to see you again!” If the girl is VERY into you, she might not mind this too much, but as a general rule, you should avoid sending this kind of message. Instead, take a much more laid back approach, make the proposal specific and deliver it confidently.

Probably the best method you can use to close is to ask her she if wants to join you and some of your friends to do something soon that is already planned. This is powerful because it shows… •

You have a good social circle.

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The situation won’t be too intense for her, because it won’t be one-on-one.

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There will be other girls there for her to talk to.

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The event is already planned, so you’re not just inventing it for her sake.

Obviously you need to be able to arrange a real event with some your real friends to use this closer. It is definitely something you should aim to do though. When she agrees, swapping numbers is the most natural and expected thing you could possibly do—how else could you arrange anything? It’s perfect. It makes the number swap so easy.

When do I kiss the woman and how do I do it? Kissing a girl is a big move for most men and takes a lot of guts to carry out. But honestly speaking, most guys make more out of it than is necessary or warranted. They see more of an obstacle than is really there. You’re now going to learn a few simple facts and rules that will together make kissing girls much, much easier. There are two parts to getting it right every time. First you need to know when a girl is ready to be kissed by you. Possessing this skill will clearly give you a massive advantage when dealing with the whole “first kiss” thing. •

Women will signal their sexual interest in you before you kiss them by touching and making physical contact with you every now and then. Pay attention to how and with what frequency girls touch you. They might casually brush your hand with theirs, tap you on the thigh to get your attention, or touch the outside of your upper arm while talking to you. When you notice these moments of contact, take them as they’re meant: as signs the girl feels physically comfortable with you and likes your company.

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Look for other signs a girl is attracted to you too. Is she playing with her hair? Smiling at everything you say? Refer to the ‘How can I tell if she’s attracted to me?’ section of this crash course. Check the index to find it.

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Unless you’re in a loud club, on the dance floor and unable to hear each other, you’re always going to need to talk to a girl for a while before she’s ready and willing to kiss you. The club kiss is the exception to the rule because some people in some clubs behave differently to other people in other places. Forget about kissing a girl without first having a conversation with her. 95% of the time you’re going to need a good deal of verbal interaction before you can kiss her.

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Trust your gut instinct. If you feel like the girl is having a good time with you and you’ve been interacting with each other for a while (60 minutes and over is usually a pretty accurate benchmark), then seriously think about kissing her. Use the rules that follow to do it.

Here’s how to make the first kiss easy. •

When you go in for the first kiss, you MUST do it confidently and spontaneously. Firstly, because women find confidence and spontaneity attractive. And secondly, because if you show any hesitancy or doubt about kissing her, she’ll feel similarly. If, however, you make it seem like the smallest thing in the world, she’s likely to think of it in the same way.

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Most of the time you can’t go from talking about mundane things like the weather and work to suddenly leaping in and kissing the girl you’re with. You need to already have flirted with each other using your body language AND your topics of conversation and comments. Don’t be crude and talk directly about sex though, unless she brings it up first. Instead, tiptoe around hot topics to create a strong sense of sexual tension.

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If you simply cannot seem to find a way to go from talking to a girl to kissing her, use a verbal bridge. That means overtly stating what you want to do. That’s right: you actually bring up the topic of you kissing each other. Don’t be afraid to do it. Once again, women appreciate and find your ability to be outright and spontaneous attractive. They find it a relief, because most men are so unsure of themselves it can take forever to get things rolling.

When it comes to initiating the first kiss with a girl, just remember the golden rule: Make it seem like nothing and that’s how she’ll see it. Have faith in the rapport and sexual chemistry you’ve so far established with her. And be overt and blatant about the idea of kissing each other if going in unannounced isn’t your style. If you’re upbeat, unembarrassed and confident about the whole thing, she’ll be bowled over and only too happy to kiss you. If you still feel like you need some specific words to say to set up the kiss, try the following. After lots of attraction and some comfort has been established and once you KNOW the woman is sexually attracted to you, get into a slower, calmer conversational mood. It should be just you and her. If she’s with friends, they should be at some distance to make this go as smoothly as possible. Look at her, then move your head back a bit, like you’re looking at her whole face. Smile just a little bit. When she says, “What?” you say, “I’m really struggling to hold back from kissing you. Is that bad?” The likelihood of her saying yes is staggeringly low. You’ve effectively said “Shall we kiss?” without the intensity and expectation those words carry. She will either respond by saying “No” or something like “Not really.” Either way, from her reaction you’ll know if she wants to kiss you. If she looks at your mouth and goes quiet, kiss her. If she laughs and looks away a little bit, like she’s slightly embarrassed, leave the kiss till later.

How do I build comfort? Comfort has been mentioned a few times so far, so before going into how to build it, let’s define exactly what it is. Comfort should come after attraction. Comfort is a feeling of trust and relaxedness between you and a girl. It is a bond that has been created through extended conversation and it can only be achieved gradually—you can’t build comfort in the first 2 minutes of your conversation with a woman. So, why do you want to build comfort with a woman? Sexual attraction is often not enough to make a girl feel that kissing you, or doing more, is something she immediately wants to do. It’s too risky because she doesn’t truly know what kind of person you are. She knows she finds you attractive, but you’re still somewhat of a mystery to her. She therefore needs to know that you really are a good guy, with good intentions, who she can trust and get along with. For her to feel all of this, there needs to be comfort between you and her. Here is how to build comfort: •

At first, you will probably talk to your target as part of a group. You will therefore not be able to (nor should you want to) only talk to her. You will have a general conversation, in which you will demonstrate your high social value, your social intelligence, you sense of humor, etc.

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After the conversation has been going for about 5 minutes, the girl should have become somewhat attracted to you, or at least attracted to the idea of talking to you in more depth, to find out more about you.

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At this point you need to partially isolate your target. You need to move into a position where you can stand or sit next to your target and talk to her a bit more privately than before. The other members of the group can talk amongst themselves (having a friend of yours nearby to help this happen is a good idea).

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During your one-on-one conversation with your target, you can step up the banter and teasing a little bit. Once you notice a few strong signs that she is attracted to you (refer to the section of this crash course which deals with how you can tell if a woman is attracted to you), you can think about increasing the amount of tactility that’s going on.

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Slowly build the attraction further. Bring one of her friends into your conversation, or one of yours. You can switch to talking to someone else entirely, then return to your target. Just generally work your social magic.

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Once you’re ready, you can isolate your target a little more. Move away from the group a bit by possibly going to a seating area or the bar with her. Now you can start a longer, more personal conversation with her. Drop the flirting just a little bit so that she can see you’re genuinely interested in her (which you should be!). Talk about topics that you couldn’t talk about when you first met her, because they would have been too hard-going and deep, like her hopes and her past. Tell her details about your life which you wouldn’t share with random people, but don’t pour your heart out to her for ages.

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Start engaging in extended tactility, like placing and keeping your hand on her knee for a minute or so. She should be initiating tactility too by this point.

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By now you should be able to kiss each other. Use what you learned in the last answer to make this go smoothly.

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Return to the group—comfort has now been established and can continue to be increased over the next hour or so, or however much longer you have left together.

That was pretty much a description of the perfect process of attraction and comfort building. Your interactions will always vary form this model, because that’s the nature of real life. Sometimes the girl will go and dance and leave you in the group, sometimes she’ll give you mixed signals—but whatever happens, make sure you focus on building comfort after attraction in roughly the same way as what was described above.

‘I’ve met this girl…what do I do next?’ If we’re going to talk about frequently asked questions, then this one should rank right at the top our list. The only reason it’s not placed first in this crash course is that the questions and answers have been roughly ordered to match where they fit in the process of becoming a ‘pickup artist’. What does this question mean, then? It refers to that all-too-common scenario men find themselves in. They meet a girl for the first time and really seem to hit it off with her. Their conversation is just great—it really feels like there’s a spark between the two of them. The night, or day, ends with the guy and the girl saying bye. The guy can’t stop thinking about her. Questions are racing through his mind: “Did she love it as much as I did?” “Is she thinking about me like I’m thinking about her?” etc. And the biggest question floating around in his brain is “What can I do to see her again and what should I say and do when I do see her to make something good happen?” The best way to handle this scenario, to be honest, is to not let it happen. What I mean is, from this day forward you should try your hardest to use as much of the advice and as many of the techniques you’ve learned from this crash course as possible. If you do that, you’ll be much more likely to build enough attraction and rapport with a girl to set things up from the outset. You won’t need to wonder if she enjoyed the conversation as much as you, because you’ll KNOW whether she did just from looking at her body language and listening to what she said. But let’s imagine that you’ve done your best to build attraction and comfort with a girl and now you need to make the next step. Here’s what you should aim to do. •

You need some kind of bridge between you and her—a method of interacting with her. This could be her phone number, her email address (not recommended), her social networking site ID or the possibility of seeing her in person (she works somewhere public, she’s your friend’s housemate, etc.)

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Once you have one or more methods of contacting her, you need to use one of them. A text is a good place to start, because it’s not too personal or intense.

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Refer to the section of this crash course on phone and text game for info on how to send the perfect text, but for now just follow this general rule: Keep the text short, light-hearted, slightly flirty and the kind of message that deserves or requires a response. Again, check the section on phone and text game.

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After a few messages have passed between you and her, you need to suggest the idea of meeting up somehow. DO NOT suggest a date—you don’t know her well enough yet. Tell her you’re going to do something with your friends and she should come along to protect you or something.

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The next time you see her, whether it’s part of an event like the one just suggested, start building attraction and comfort in the way you should have when you first met her, and go from there.

It’s hard to explain everything you need to do to make an extended early relationship with a woman progress positively in just a few paragraphs, but the advice above should get you started.

How do I arrange and do a Day 2? A Day 2 is the second time you properly interact with your ‘target’ girl. So, let’s say you meet, interact with attract and close a girl in a nightclub. You mention that tomorrow you’re doing some shopping with some friends and she should come along—she says yes. That shopping trip is your Day 2. But Day 2s don’t also have to be the day that comes directly after your first interaction. Day 2 just means the second main event or interaction you share with your target. The reason Day 2s deserve some explanation is because they can make or break your chances of dating a woman. If your Day 2 goes wrong, you can either fall into a woman’s ‘friends’ category or just fall off her social radar altogether. So, what are the rules which must be followed to ensure your Day 2 with a woman goes as well as possible? •

Your work is not over just because a Day 2 has been arranged Lots of men think that once they’ve got a girl’s number and/or arranged a second meeting with her, it’s plain sailing—their work is done. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Lots of your work is still ahead of you, but stage one (initial attraction and mild comfort building) is certainly out of the way. Don’t make the mistake of arranging a date as your day two. Just don’t do it—no dinner dates, no restaurants, no coffee and cake with just you and her, no trip to the movie theater. You need to avoid clichéd dates at the start of your relationship with a woman (the first three interactions or so).

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You MUST avoid the common mistakes a lot of men make on Day 2s They are:

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Amplifying too quickly/being too keen, too soon

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Amplifying too slowly/being too ‘cold’, for too long

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Falling prey to clichéd dating rituals (as just mentioned)

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Showing they’re inexperienced

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Sacrificing their value

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Going straight to “you and me”

You must aim to gradually achieve the following goals •

Build more mutually felt rapport and comfort.

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Increase the mutual tactility more and more.

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Maintain attraction and build it further.

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Learn more about each other.

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Develop in-jokes and things that are unique to you and her.

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Silently establish in both of your minds that, as time goes on, you’re becoming closer and more of an item.

All of those things need to be done at the right speed. If you increase tactility too quickly on your Day 2, the girl will think you’ve adopted her as your girlfriend and will freak out as a result. If you don’t amplify things like tactility and comfort quickly enough, however, you’ll be sending the girl mixed signals—you’ve invited her yet you aren’t capitalizing on her being there. You could easily fall into her ‘friends’ zone by being this slow to progress things. During your Day 2 (to be honest, and all of the time) everything you do and say around the woman should fit with the following summary of your personality and lifestyle: You are a popular, confident man with lots of friends of both sexes. You keep your social calendar pretty full, but still live your social life at a relaxed, enjoyable pace. When you’re with people you know, they can’t help but enjoy your company. When it comes to dating women, you adopt the following position. You are passionate about meeting new people, male and female. You simply enjoy it. It fits right into your general attitude towards life: to have fun and explore. When you meet a new girl, you at first treat her like you would any new friend. You don’t rush things, simply because you don’t need to. Rushing through the ‘getting to know you’ phase would show that you rarely meet new people, especially new women, which isn’t true. You don’t have any hidden agendas when it comes to dating women. Why would you? You don’t need to care about when you’re first going to have sex or what the girl is thinking because these things always take care of themselves. You’re capable of getting to know a girl at a relaxed pace but without it getting boring or going stale. Women love this because it fits in with what they need. They want to get to know you more because they’re attracted to you. But they want to take it at a comfortable pace. They don’t want to skip right to dinner-dates, candle-lit meals and buying roses and chocolates because these are things couples do when they’ve been together for months, not days or weeks. You feel the same. You don’t want to skip to formal, conventional dating either. In fact, the thought of dating the girl in this kind of way doesn’t even cross your mind. You just want to hang out with her more, no strings attached, no promises of what’s to come and no pressure. But this isn’t about being a hippy and practising ‘free-love’. It’s just about being a socially high status guy who regularly brings new women into his social circle and also enters theirs. If things go well with you and a girl, you’ll take it further. Simple. No stress. It’s a mutually beneficial situation. The girl wants to be your girlfriend and you want to be her boyfriend. You aren’t soul-mates, you’re just two people enjoying each other’s time, personalities and, of course, bodies. That may not sum-up your current approach to life, but it is the impression you should give the woman on your Day 2. So, do things like. •

Make your Day 2 a group event.

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Don’t rush into “you and me” talk, like you’re already an item.

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Flirt with her but don’t drown her with your attention. Your friends get their fair share of your time and positive attention, because they are, after all, your friends. This is a respectable, attractive quality.

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You basically need to seem ultra laid-back. You laugh, you joke, you’re casual about what’s going on between you and the woman. You’re maintaining your social value and you’re therefore able to continue to build comfort between you and her, which will, in the end, lead to you and her having sex and/or dating.

How do I meet and attract women during the day? Daytime game is truly a challenge for even the seasoned pickup artist. Here’s why: •

At night time, people who are in public are invariably relaxing and socialising. The fact that they are socialising makes it easier for you to approach them and introduce yourself. In the day time, this isn’t the case.

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During the day, women tend to be by themselves. There’s a risk here of sounding like we’re talking about hunting women like prey—we are not. It’s just the case that women out and about during the day are usually by themselves. This can make approaching and talking to them harder.

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During the day, most of us have to do more; we’re at work, we’re shopping; we’re going from one place to another. At night, people are in one venue and they stay there for a while. The fact that people are on the move during the day means that meeting women during the day can be harder.

Those are the main reasons approaching women during the day can be more challenging than interacting with them at night. So! What can we do about that? First of all, you need to adapt to the different environment by following slightly different rules concerning how you approach and open. They are: •

In a club, you can walk up to a group of women and open using a pretty flirty and controversial comment or question. If you do this during the daytime to one woman, you risk her thinking you’re crazy. You need to tone it down a notch. When you open, use slightly less energy than you would in a club—after all, it takes nowhere near as much volume or energy to get a woman’s attention in the street as it does to get a group’s attention in a loud club.

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A safe bet when making approaches in the street is to use a situational opener. A situational opener is one which relates to the environment and situation you and the woman are both in at that time. By using a situational opener, you immediately establish some common ground between you and the woman: your surroundings. For example: “I don’t hang around here that much, is it always this busy?” That’s a pretty vanilla opener, but that’s a good thing: it won’t scare the woman away. She will feel like she’s an expert being asked for her opinion in this case. “Yeah, pretty much. I think it’s because there are lots of places to eat around here.” You can then transition into a very short story relating to what she has just said. “Yeah! I saw this guy walk out of a little bar just down there and he was staggering about the place like he was going to explode. Then he puked all over the sidewalk. It splashed up on this old lady’s shoes and the look she gave him was priceless.” This very short, unusual anecdote (try to make yours based on truth) catches the woman’s attention. It isn’t boring, it’s funny and rare. She can’t help but comment on it and tell you that not all people around this area are like that. “You’re not drunk right now are you?” “Aha ha! No way,” she laughs.

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You need to use your common sense when making approaches on the street. If a woman is walking in the opposite direction to you, it’s going to be very difficult to stop her and start a conversation without her thinking “Why is this guy stopping me? What does he want? I need to be somewhere in 5 minutes.” So don’t attempt this kind of challenge without first developing some pretty fine skills at daytime approaches.

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The more static a woman is during the day, the easier she’ll be to talk to and attract. A woman working at the deli counter of your supermarket is a hundred times easier to charm than a woman on the move.

That’s a start. Make sure your body language is solid and your conversational skills are well developed before attempting day time approaches—especially if you dislike the idea of getting shot down, either metaphorically or actually. Use your head, be polite and genuine and make sure you smile a lot.

How do I avoid falling into her friend’s zone? A woman’s friends zone is one of 7 main categories a woman has for the men in her life. Aside from men in their family, every man a woman knows falls into one of these 7 categories. They are.

Boyfriend material: The woman is sexually attracted to the man, feels comfort with him and sees him as a prime candidate for being her boyfriend. ABU material: Attractive but unsuitable. The woman is somewhat sexually attracted to the man, but for one or more reasons he is not suitable boyfriend material (he has certain dislikeable characteristics, he works far away, he’s friends with all his ex-girlfriends, etc.) Real friend material: Men in the woman’s life who are genuinely her friends who she sees on a regular basis and whom she does not find sexually attractive. LJBF material: Let’s Just Be Friends. This is the category this section is mainly taking about. This is the main one you want to avoid falling into when you start getting to know a woman.

The last two categories are self-explanatory. The reason knowing what those 7 categories are is useful is because it can sometimes be hard to know where you stand with a woman shortly after you’ve met her. You don’t know if she finds you attractive enough to date you, whether she genuinely wants to be friends with you because you get on so well, or whether she felt a spark between the two of you at the beginning which has since died and left you, the man, relegated to the LJBF zone. The ways to know whether or not you’re in the LJBF zone are: •

Think about how you much effort you are each putting into your burgeoning relationship. Who is working the hardest to keep things moving forward? (Who is texting the most, making the most phone calls, concentrating on keeping the conversations fun, etc.)

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How much tactility is there between you and the woman? Aside from its frequency, what kind of tactility is it? Is it friendly only or is it bordering on sexual?

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Have you crossed the line yet by kissing each other? If not, then that’s something you’ll need to do before you can truly be sure you’re out of the Real friend zone or the LJBF zone.

The best ways to keep yourself out of the LJBF zone are: •

Never let things rest and get stale. Every interaction you have with the woman needs to contain flirting, teasing, humor and fun.

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Things need to gradually move forward. Focus on amplifying tactility between you and the woman so it gets slowly more intimate (lead up to touching her face, her hair, putting your arm around her waist, etc.)

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Don’t miss your opportunity to kiss her. If you know the time is right, strike while the iron is hot. If you don’t capitalize on the chance to kiss her, you risk her thinking that you don’t have the ability to move things forward—this could put you in her LJBF zone.

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Never give her the impression that all you want from her is to be her friend. Always let teasing, flirting and banter play big roles in your interactions.

How do I handle phone calls and texts properly? It’s not possible to spend all your time physically with your new ‘prospect’—the woman you’ve attracted and, hopefully, had a Day 2 with. There are going to be lots of in-between times, when you’re not in each other’s company. It’s therefore important that you don’t let the positive dynamic between you and the woman go stale during these times, considering how lengthy and frequent they will be, especially towards the beginning of your relationship. So, then, how do you handle phone calls and texts in the right way? How do you avoid coming off as a loser who is pestering the woman for her attention? Let’s start at the beginning. How should you handle the first phone call you ever make to her? It will probably occur either on the same day you meet her (making it about 5 hours after you meet her is good) or one or two days later. Here are some ground rules.

The phone call should: •

Be quick. It should NOT drag on any further than it needs to.

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Not be an attempt to arrange anything. This same-day call is NOT the call you’ll make to arrange your Day 2 with the girl. It serves a different purpose, which you’ll learn in a moment.

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Be fun, upbeat and flirty. The call must be a positive, enjoyable verbal interaction. It should flow easily and have something simple and straightforward as its subject matter.

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End on a cliff-hanger style comment. The call should end with you saying something quick that functions as a cliff-hanger style comment—something that makes the girl think, “I want to talk to him more!”

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Seem as much as possible that it’s justified in some way. The girl will subconsciously know that you’re calling because you want to speak to her, but you should still make the call seem as much like it has a real, justified purpose as possible. This way, you preserve your social value, while still getting to talk to her.

Here is an example call which follows all of the rules above. You call and get her answer phone. Or, if she picks up, you freestyle by pretending to be her doctor. She’ll laugh the whole time. “Oh, Hi. This is professor John Mac….erm… Macaroni? We met earlier in Eden (insert the name of the real place you met). I’m just calling to give the results of your test. Erm, yes, here we are. Yeah, I’m afraid you’ve tested positive for a hairy back and you have a 40% percent chance of developing a mono-brow. The results for the explosive flatulence test haven’t come back yet, I’m afraid. I’ll get back to you on that. No, seriously, though. This is John, I was calling to ask you something, but I’ll speak to you soon. Seya.” You say it in a clear and confident way without sounding like you’re trying hard to impress her or make her laugh. You’re relaxed about it and you don’t string out the “This is John, I was calling to ask you something, but I’ll speak to you soon. Seya” bit by umming and ahhing. All of your phone calls should be free from tension. Make them last only as long as they need to and follow all the rules of good conversation that you follow during face-to-face talks, like demonstrating high social value, being funny without being outcome dependant, etc. How about text messages? They should follow similar guidelines. Make the first few you send funny and quick. Ask her a question, like:

You need to invent your own based on: •

Your sense of humor

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Her sense of humor

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How much banter and jokiness there is between you and her

When the text is funny and not pressuring her into replying to you (if you said “Do you want to see a movie tomorrow?” in your first text, she’d feel pressured) she will happily reply with her own funny, flirty message. THEN, after an exchange of positive texts has taken place, you can send one suggesting you do something (like a group event). That way, the proposal is mixed into lots of positive emotion and it therefore feels healthy—the woman can easily feel comfortable about it.

How should I react if I get called out? The more approaches you make, the more conversations you get into with women in nightclubs and at parties and the more well-known the subject of attracting and seducing women as a social art becomes, the more likely it is that you will get caught out by a woman. Some guys really fear this. They worry that they’ll be halfway through an opener and the woman will say “Hang on a second…I know what this is. Nice try” and they will look an idiot in front of everyone. Fortunately, getting around this problem is very easy. It is a two step process. •

In your early days you’ll probably be using some ‘canned’ material—pre-written openers and whatnot. As such, there’s a remote chance that a woman or, more likely, a guy in a group you approach will know what you’re doing and challenge you on it. In this case, you should say something like “See. I knew it. Here let me explain. Me and my friends have been talking about what creates attraction. One friend says she thinks that the key to creating attraction is to be unusual and saying interesting things, like what I just said to you. My other friend says that you need big muscles and a deep voice. What do you think?” This response justifies why you used the canned line and then turns the focus back onto the girl, so she can give you her opinion on the matter.

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The much better way to handle the problem of getting called out is to invent your own ‘material’, or, even better, to not class the things you say or do as material at all--it’s just natural. That way, no one is ever going to say they’ve heard something you just said before.

So, those are the pickup artist’s 20 most frequently asked questions and their answers. You should now have a good general understanding of the basics of ‘the game’.

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