SEDUCTION By Lorenzo Martini
What Every Man Should Know Before Reading “Advanced” Seduction Methods and Techniques
BASIC SEDUCTION Proudly brought to you by…
LORENZO MARTINI Email: [email protected]
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Table of Contents TABLE OF CONTENTS .......................................................................................4 INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................10 The Odds to Meet the Perfect Woman ..................................................................................................... 10
METHODS TO MEET WOMEN ..........................................................................11 How to Attract Single Women................................................................................................................... 11 Running Personal Ads................................................................................................................................ 11 A Great Letter to Use to Attract ............................................................................................................... 12 Single Women in the Personals ................................................................................................................. 12 Great personal ads to use to attract single women like crazy................................................................. 14 How to Use Your Friends, Acquaintances, Relatives and Co-Workers to Help You Meet, Date, and Seduce Hot & Sexy Single Women............................................................................................................ 15
PLACES WHERE TO MEET WOMEN ...............................................................16 How to Attract Single Women for Romance at Work............................................................................. 16 How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Beautiful Single Women at the Beach ...................................................... 17 How to Flirt With Single Sexy Women in Bars and Nightclubs............................................................. 19 How to Meet & Pick Up Hot & Sexy Single Women at Swimming Pools.............................................. 20 How to Overcome Your Shyness When Approaching Single Women in Nightclubs ........................... 21 How to Meet Lonely, Hot & Sexy Businesswomen in Hotels .................................................................. 23 How to Use Gymnastics and Tumbling Skills to Meet Tons of Hot & Sexy Single Women ................ 24 Where to Meet Single Women During the Holidays ............................................................................... 25 Worst Places to Meet Single Women ........................................................................................................ 26
MIND TRAINING ................................................................................................27 How to Handle Rejection From Women .................................................................................................. 27 Overcoming Your Fear Of Rejection........................................................................................................ 28
Misconceived Belief of Shy Men When Meeting Single Women ............................................................ 29 The Myth of the Line - Rejection .............................................................................................................. 30 Style - Your Smile....................................................................................................................................... 31 Why You Should Consider Dating & Pursuing Relationships ............................................................... 32 Why You Should Not Wear Masks When Meeting Single Women ....................................................... 33 You - Don't be a Weenie ............................................................................................................................ 34 Your Rap - Why Do People Love Oprah?................................................................................................ 35 Why Being Short Should Not Interfere With You Meeting, Dating, Attracting Single Women for Romance ...................................................................................................................................................... 36
BODY TRAINING ...............................................................................................39 Clothing ....................................................................................................................................................... 39 Exercise ....................................................................................................................................................... 40 Be Civil in Your Suit - Mister Manners Scores Points ............................................................................ 41
HYGENE.............................................................................................................42 Are You Aware That Bad Breath Can Prevent You From Scoring With Single Women?.................. 42 Top 10 Colognes that women find irresistible on a man ......................................................................... 44
BODY LANGUAGE SIGNS ................................................................................46 How to Tell if a Single Woman is Really Interested in You.................................................................... 46 10 Top Negative Body Languages Signs that Single Women Give to Indicate That She is Not Interested in You ........................................................................................................................................ 48
OPENING LINES................................................................................................49 Dating Tips on How to Talk to Single Women......................................................................................... 49 Some Fall-Backs For Shy Men .................................................................................................................. 49 Opening lines............................................................................................................................................... 50 Effective Opening Lines ............................................................................................................................. 51 Perfecting Your Opening Lines................................................................................................................. 54 Bad Opening Lines ..................................................................................................................................... 55
Conversational Icebreakers ....................................................................................................................... 56 She Loves You, She Loves You Not .......................................................................................................... 58 Conversing For Maximum Attraction ...................................................................................................... 60 Don't Worry, Be Happy ............................................................................................................................. 61 Personal Space ............................................................................................................................................ 63 Advices on Flirting ..................................................................................................................................... 63
METHODS TO SEDUCE WOMEN .....................................................................67 How to Seduce Single Women Using Romantic Lighting ....................................................................... 67 How to Seduce Single Women With Candles, Incense, and Fireplaces ................................................. 68 How to Attract and Seduce Single Women With Poetry for Romance and Love................................. 69 How to Seduce Single Women With Food for Love and Romance ........................................................ 71 How to Attract Single Women With Fat Jokes........................................................................................ 72 How to Attract Single Women for Love and Romance Using Your Shoes............................................ 73 Why Acting Like You're Married Can Attract Single Women Like Crazy.......................................... 74 Tips on How to Use Your Bathroom to Attract Single Women.............................................................. 75 How to Make a Good Impression When Calling Single Women............................................................ 76 How to Attract Women .............................................................................................................................. 77 Should You Pursue Single Women With Lots of Experience? ............................................................... 78 Dating Tips From a Single Woman's Point of View ................................................................................ 79 Single lady giving advice on how to meet and attract single women...................................................... 80 The ABC'S of Summer Dating .................................................................................................................. 81
ASKING A WOMAN OUT ..................................................................................84 Getting The First Date ............................................................................................................................... 84 Ways to ask a girl out................................................................................................................................. 85 Asking Someone Out On A Date ............................................................................................................... 86 Week Nights VS Weekends........................................................................................................................ 88 Ending The Date......................................................................................................................................... 89
Great First Dates ........................................................................................................................................ 90 The Top 10 Places to Take Single Women on a First Date ..................................................................... 92 Cheap Dates: 10 Ways to Impress Her on a Dime................................................................................... 94
THINGS TO DO ..................................................................................................96 10 Best Things to Do on a First Date to Attract Single Women ............................................................. 96 The Dating Process - Date Behavior ......................................................................................................... 97 How to Successfully Date Women ............................................................................................................. 97 Dating Tips to Help You Succeed With Single Women......................................................................... 101 The Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips to Impress Single Women When on a Dining Date...................... 102 The Importance Of Eye Contact ............................................................................................................. 103 Pampering Her ......................................................................................................................................... 104 What To Do On Your First Date............................................................................................................. 105
CONVERSATION .............................................................................................107 Conversation Pitfalls to Avoid When Talking to Single Women.......................................................... 107 How to Talk to Single Women When on a Date..................................................................................... 107 A Good Talk/Listen Ratio........................................................................................................................ 108 Conversing For Maximum Attraction .................................................................................................... 109 Advice on Asking Single Women Personal Questions ........................................................................... 110 What To Say?............................................................................................................................................ 111
KISSING ...........................................................................................................112 Art of Kissing Single Women on Your First Date ................................................................................. 112 How To Go About Kissing Her ............................................................................................................... 113
MISTAKES MEN MAKE...................................................................................116 Don't Make These Mistakes When Out on a First Date With Single Women .................................... 116 Don't Treat Your Date Like One of the Guys........................................................................................ 117 Bad Vocabulary Habits That Can Cost You Dates With Single Women ............................................ 118
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make ............................................................................................................ 119 Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make ......................................................................................................... 120
OTHER STUFF – DATING ...............................................................................121 Dating problems and solutions ................................................................................................................ 121 How Can You Tell if a Woman Likes You or Not? ............................................................................... 123 How to Get Phone Numbers From Single Women and How to Tell If She's Giving You a Phony Number...................................................................................................................................................... 124 A Few Words of Advice About Pornography and Dating Single Women ........................................... 125 Dating Psychology .................................................................................................................................... 125 The Single Man's Astrological Guide to Single Women........................................................................ 126
WOMEN'S SEXUAL BEHAVIOR .....................................................................129 Women's Sexual and Seduction Power Over Single Men ..................................................................... 129 Are You Sometimes Confused by Women's Sexual Behavior? ............................................................ 130 How to Tell When Single Women Are in the Mood For Sex ................................................................ 131 Reading A Single Woman's Sexy Signals ............................................................................................... 131 Recognizing Arousal................................................................................................................................. 132 Women's Sexuality and Sensuality ......................................................................................................... 133
WHAT TURNS SINGLE WOMEN ON ..............................................................135 What turns single women on ................................................................................................................... 135 How to Turn Single Women on Sexually................................................................................................ 135 Excitation Techniques .............................................................................................................................. 136
ABOUT SEX .....................................................................................................139 Sex - When? .............................................................................................................................................. 139 Should You Have Sex With Single Women Early in a Relationship?.................................................. 139 Sex on the First Date ................................................................................................................................ 140 Sexual Advice on How to Make Love to Single Women........................................................................ 145 She's probably not sexually attracted to you.......................................................................................... 146
THE WAY TO BREAK UP WITH HER .............................................................147 Breaking Up Is Hard To Do .................................................................................................................... 147 Feelings Of Guilt....................................................................................................................................... 148 Breakup Speech ........................................................................................................................................ 148
SHE DUMPS YOU............................................................................................150 She dumps you .......................................................................................................................................... 150 Getting her back ....................................................................................................................................... 151
POST BREAKUP ADVICE ...............................................................................152 Post Breakup Advice ................................................................................................................................ 152 Ex Girlfriend Survival Guide .................................................................................................................. 153
RECOGNIZING AND AVOIDING TRAPS ........................................................156 Games Single Women Play to Test You ................................................................................................. 156 Don't Be a Victim of the Pregnancy Trap! ............................................................................................. 157 Are You Staying in a Bad Relationship Just to Have a Woman?......................................................... 158 Are You Spoiling Your Chances for Love and Romance?.................................................................... 158 Be on the Lookout for Single Women Who Use You for Financial Purposes ..................................... 159 Freedom..................................................................................................................................................... 160 "I know just the girl for you!" ................................................................................................................ 160 Should You Date Commitaphobic Single Women? ............................................................................... 161 Why You Should Avoid Women Who Flirt & Power Single Women.................................................. 162
Introduction The Odds to Meet the Perfect Woman
The reality is that there are thousands, perhaps millions of single women who would work out just fine as dates or long term commitments. It is a matter of compromise, readiness, need and circumstance. You must realize that you don't end up with the absolute best choice available for a girlfriend or a wife. If you look at it in statistical terms, there must be thousands of single women who have more to offer. You just don't have the time and resources to meet them all. Picture it as a major event like a college football game. You have one afternoon and about 20,000 available women. How many can you get to know well enough to ask out for Saturday night? OK, all analogies leak, but you get the point. So with luck, you could hope to date less than 100 single girls during your bachelorhood. (We're being generous.) With luck, the average man will experience a dozen or so "relationships" lasting more than a couple weeks. One or two of these will result in marriages. Maybe. Are you depressed? Don't be - these are just the facts. Check with your older friends and relatives for verification. (By the way, don't forget that single women are also out there meeting, rejecting, accepting, dating and marrying guys constantly - just to add to the confusion!) Conclusion is that: "The Perfect Woman" doesn't exist. As I said, it is just a matter of compromise, readiness, need and circumstance.
Methods to Meet Women How to Attract Single Women Running Personal Ads
Here's a letter I used to respond to personal ads to successfully meet and attract women like crazy: Hi! This letter is in response to your recent "personal" ad. Your ad really captured my attention and you sound like someone I would really like to get to know better. In order for you to get to know me better, here's a little bit about myself: I am a single financially secure businessman, 1947 model, low mileage, high performance. Bumped a few times, but never wrecked. Proven ability to hug the road and not wander off course. Exterior in mint condition, warm, affectionate, sensitive interior, never soiled. Factory equipped package includes stereo, humor, depth, imagination and intelligence. Radio picks up all kinds of rock and classical. Spacious seats with plenty of room for passenger...runs on high-octane fun and romance, lifetime supply included. Available for inspection by female drivers only, prefer affectionate woman, no dependents, eye-catching exterior, self-confident, intelligent, warm, sincere with sense of humor and full set of tools. I come from a close solid family, would like to have little Toyotas some day. Equipped with nice endowment. Only driven once a week by little old lady to/from church. To arrange test drive, please write or call me at xxx-xxxx-xxxx (anytime). HAPPY MOTORING! P.S. Feel free to modify this letter to use for yourself. Try it...it works like crazy!
A Great Letter to Use to Attract Single Women in the Personals I highly recommend that you play the personals for dating, love, sex, and romance. And when you answer a woman's ad for the first time here's a great letter to use. Just edit it to use for yourself. This letter will really make a good impression on single women and make her want to write you back. Try it, it works!: Dear... Let's become good friends, then...Hope for a beautiful relationship. I feel that before we can have a good relationship, we must put forth the energy and time it takes to first become good friends. Friendship is one of the most important building blocks of a good relationship. To me, friends are like flowers in the garden of life. My desire is to meet a beautiful, sensitive, sensuous, warm, assertive single lady who wants a friend. My interpretation of a friend is one to whom you can pour out all the contents of your heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentleness of hands will take it all, sift it, keep that which is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. I thank you in advance for allowing me to be that kind of friend to you. If you feel it would be good for us to meet, write and tell me more about yourself. And please have good thoughts about our further relationship, for thoughts are like seeds. All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seed of today. Let me tell you about myself. I am divorced (four years ago), Caucasian, dark brown hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", trim 175 lbs., clean-cut and a healthy gentleman. I am selfsufficient, handsome, self-employed (businessman), happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically aware, emotionally and financially secure. I love poetry, books, walks on the beach and cozy candlelight dinners. I enjoy movies, television, music, traveling, the desert, the quietness of the mountains, the ocean, sunrises and sunsets. I am comfortable in jeans or a nice Italian suit. A nonsmoker/drinker, not into drugs (don't need them; I live in a natural high). I believe in enjoying the good life and am high on it. I have a healthy attitude about God and the Bible.
I am not a game player. I never want personal happiness at the expense of someone else. If we have a single date or a lifetime together, I will never lie to you, try to manipulate you or use you in any way. I am an incurable romantic who treasures, cherishes and appreciates sincerity, integrity, honesty and warmth. I enjoy picnics, laughing, talking, touching, affection and physical closeness. A good listener who enjoys mutual spoiling and also I am a one-woman man. I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique lady who is affectionate, beautiful, slender, with a shapely figure, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine...someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship...not just a few dates. Are you that special lady? All it will take to find out whether or not things might work between you and me is a 32cent stamp and five minutes of your time to write me a letter. Physical attraction to me is as important as the other things I have mentioned. Please send a recent photo (not over one year old) of yourself. I will send my recent photo when I answer your letter. I would also appreciate you sending your phone number. Well, what do you think? Isn't this a great letter! You could also use this for online personals too. The next step is up to you...Try the personals, they sure worked for me!
Great personal ads to use to attract single women like crazy I want to share with you some great personal ads to use to attract single women like crazy and increase your responses to personal ads that you place in singles publications, on the net, newspapers, etc. Try these ads (just fill in the blanks for your personal data and the kind of single women you are looking for) guys and I'm sure you will be pleased with the results: Handsome SWM, 40, slender Hare seeking cute little bunny 25-35, romantic and slender to share my carrots with. Let's hop all over town and have some good times and have a hare-raising experience. If you like to lay in clover and nibble, a plus. Good Morning My Lovely. My name is George. I'm a SWM, 6', with a muscular build. I have been told that I am very nice-looking, sensitive, communicate well, and fun to be with. I feel 35 (but I'm not). I also act as though I enjoy single life (but I don't). What I am is 45 and tired of playing games. What I want is to be able to find someone to share those experiences in life which are best when shared. It would be nice if you were as beautiful physically as you are emotionally. However, the important word is "sincerity" and a willingness to give 100% in a relationship (as I am). I hope that we can become friends, that you're a non-smoker, and that you'll be considerate enough to send a recent photo. In the meantime, smile, and remember: Happiness is something we do deserve. Have Life Will Share - Have hands, will hold. Have arms, will cuddle. Have ears, will listen. Have mind, will communicate. Have imagination, will share. Have heart, will give. SWM, 40, slender, 6' 1", 200 lbs. In search of SWF, 25-35, slender, romantic and affectionate, who has as much to give. '70 Coupe - Sports Sleek White Body. Comes with black flat top, looks great at 170, stands 5' 11" and loaded. One owner is non-smoking, degreed professional male. Seeking attractive female buyer, 25-35 who knows an exceptional deal. Lease/Purchase options available. Write for complete details. Big-hearted Teddy Bear - DWM, 46, 6' 2", 240 lbs. Some of life's pleasures for me are cooking, working on cars, fishing, camping, traveling. I love holding hands, sending flowers, good music of all kinds, and long talks by the fireplace. I'm looking for that one special lady who shares my respect for honesty, openness, and the need for communication. A lot of good loving is being wasted here.
How to Use Your Friends, Acquaintances, Relatives and Co-Workers to Help You Meet, Date, and Seduce Hot & Sexy Single Women Here's a great networking system for you to meet, date, attract, and seduce more hot & sexy single women for some love, sex, and romance. Here's what you need to do to improve your love and sex life: On a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper, make a list of all your friends, acquaintances, relatives, and co-workers. The form for your list should look like this: Friends....................Acquaintances.....................Relatives.............................Co-Workers 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Now, just fill in the blanks on this form and get in touch with these people and simply make this statement: "I am expanding my social circle of female friends. Could you introduce me to some of your single female friends?"
Try this networking system and you just might be surprised at all the new sexy single women you will meet for some love, sex, and romance. Lots of marriages have occurred by meeting the opposite sex through other people and you just may find the "love of your life" using this girl-getting system.
Places Where to Meet Women How to Attract Single Women for Romance at Work At work, you see the same women, day after day. This situation favors the gradual approach to enlarging your circle of single female acquaintances. If you are a bit leery of asking to be introduced to someone you would like to meet, you can always practice a bit of subtlety. Smile at her one day. See if she returns your smile. If so, you might make a routine of exchanging smiles each morning and evening. Begin to wave 'hello' to her. Finally, you may get to the point where you actually speak a few words to each other... and things may continue from there. The advantage of this strategy is that either of you can stop, or even retreat at any point in the progression without undue embarrassment or trauma. A workplace romance with a subordinate, or, worse yet, with a supervisor, can be risky. It can interfere with the performance of your duties and jeopardize your advancement or even continued tenure on the job. Making an advance toward a fellow employee (or having one made toward you) may destabilize and upset the delicate relationships in your working group. Exercise caution, or, at the very least, discretion.
How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Beautiful Single Women at the Beach This is one of the more favorable and popular spots to meet single women for love, sex, and romance. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The beach provides a perfect setting for meeting hot & sexy single women. It's a casual and relaxed atmosphere and most of the women are friendly. It's just simply a matter of approaching them and talking to them. That's all there is to it. A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the beach and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the beach not even smiling or saying, "Hi" to women as they walk along. They don't even stop to talk to a girl that catches their eye. They just don't have the guts to approach them. What's really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they wear those skimpy bathing suits? It's to turn you on and show off their bodies. So be bold and aggressive and you'll be surprised how easy it is to meet and pick up single women at the beach. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use at the beach. Use them and you can't fail and you will have the summer of your life! It's important how you dress for the beach. Dress well and don't just wear a pair of old cut-offs with holes in them. Wear a nice designer bathing suit like you see in Playboy or GQ magazines. Also, while not sunning, wear a shirt or pullover appropriate for the beach such as a tank top or colorful T-shirt. Invest in some nice attractive sunglasses (not the cheap kind). Try on several different styles and select the one that makes you look unique and different. Now, you'll be all decked out for the beach and you'll stand out from the rest of the ordinary guys. What this means is that you'll attract the attention of all the hot & sexy beautiful women and that's exactly what you are striving for. You should bring some very important equipment that you'll use in meeting and picking up single women at the beach. These are as follows: ICE CHEST - This is your most important item. Fill it with beer, wine, mixed drinks in a can and soft drinks. You'll use this to offer a girl a drink when you've approached a girl. BLANKET - Bring a blanket big enough for you and a girl to lay on. Make sure it's clean and attractive and not old and smelly.
FRISBEE, VOLLEYBALL, BEACH BALL, FOOTBALL - With these you can approach a girl and ask, "Want to play?" RADIO - This comes in handy. What to do is lay near a girl or group of single girls and turn on your radio. Then you ask, "What station would you like to hear?" This opens the door for further conversation and opportunities to get to know a girl and make your moves. BODY SURFING BOARD - These are known as boogie boards. They are inexpensive and made of styrofoam. Buy two of them. Approach a girl and ask if she'd like to do some body surfing. You can buy these at Toys R' Us. SURFBOARD - If you do surf this can be an advantage in meeting single women. Some girls are very attracted to surfers. Most girls don't know how to surf and have never even been on a surfboard. If you do surf, all you have to do is approach a girl and ask her, "would you like to learn how to surf?" If you don't know how to surf, you can always fake it. It will be a lot of fun trying anyway. SUNTAN OIL - Here's one that will always work. Approach a girl you are attracted to and ask her, "Would you rub some suntan oil on my back?" You'll never get turned down (as a general rule) and it really feels good having a girl rubbing your back. While walking on the beach looking for single girls for romance, when a girl catches your eye, give her a warm smile and say, "Hi." If she responds, whatever you do don't keep walking by. Stop immediately and start talking to her. Invite her over to your blanket and offer her something to drink or you can invite her to go in the water. Also, you can ask her if she wants to play some beach sports such as frisbee, volleyball, beach ball, body surfing, etc. If you pass a girl that you're interested in and she has her eyes closed, just approach her and say, "Weren't you on the cover of Cosmo?" She will be flattered and this opens up a conversation. In conclusion, I hope I've given you some new ideas you have never thought of before on how to meet and pick up hot & sexy beautiful single women at the beach. Happy Hunting!
How to Flirt With Single Sexy Women in Bars and Nightclubs While you are cruising the nightclub, keep you flirting eyes out for the woman that is alone. She is usually the easiest to meet and attract. She is there for a reason and you can be the lucky man to fulfill that reason. Also while walking, keep that sexy-looking gleam in your eye. Literally try to melt women with your eyes. If you make eye contact with a woman, make sure you give her a friendly smile and if she is close enough to you, simply say,"Hi." That is all it takes and with practice it will come easy. If you make contact with some woman across the way from you and she turns away, don't give up on her. Try to make eye contact again and smile at her. If she smiles back, approach her immediately! This is an opportunity that must not be passed up because it's an open invitation for you to come over and introduce yourself or ask her to dance. Whatever you do, don't stare at a woman. This is impolite and nobody likes to be stared at. Just look at her long enough to make it quite clear that you see her and then immediately look away. What you are saying with your eyes when you look at her this way is, "I know you are there and I would not dream of invading your privacy." Just keep looking at her off and on until you establish some meaningful eye contact and exchange smiles. So, there you have it, the art of flirting. What really amazes me is these guys at the nightclubs that don't even flirt with women. They just stare into space or look down at the floor. If they do accidently catch the eye of a woman, they look away as quickly as possible and let it go at that. They just don't know what they are missing and what they are missing out on is meeting women the easy way. So my friend, if you're like this, make it a point to stop staring into space and start flirting with women. Flirt with every woman in sight. It's a lot of fun and you will be attracting more women than ever before.
How to Meet & Pick Up Hot & Sexy Single Women at Swimming Pools Swimming pools are one of the greatest places to meet all those hot & sexy single women in those skimpy bikinis you've been dreaming about. I'm going to be talking mainly about swimming pools at apartments, condos, country clubs, resorts, hotels and motels. Here's the techniques I used successfully to meet and pick up hot & sexy beautiful single women at the pool: You're going to need some very important equipment. Your appearance is also very important and you want to make a good impression upon entering the pool area. I would suggest wearing a pair of stylish swimming trunks. GQ, Playboy, and Penthouse magazines offer some good examples. Also, I would suggest wearing some nice thongs, sun glasses, an unusual hat, and a Hawaiian or surfer shirt. The idea is to create a refined look and not to look like a bum. Your most important item to bring with you is your ice chest. Stock it with an assortment of liquor. I'd suggest some beer, wine, coke, and pre-made mixed drinks that come in cans you can purchase at your local liquor store. Don't forget the plastic bar glasses! Also, bring your inflatable air mattress and an extra one if possible, and a good-sounding radio. OK, now you're looking the part and you've got all your attraction ammunition with you. Let's take it step-by-step using these proven techniques: You've entered the pool area. Make a complete circle around the pool to check out the available women. While you're walking and you catch the eye of a female you're attracted to, instantly remark, "Hi" or "Hello" or "It sure is a pretty day isn't it?" If you get a response, keep walking and make a circle and come back to her. When you return ask her, "Can I join you?" Most likely she won't mind. Introduce yourself and offer her a drink. Turn on your radio and ask her if there's any particular station she would like to listen to. To establish some physical contact, ask her to rub some suntan oil on your back. If you've played your cards right and turned on your charm and conversational skills, you should be on your way to some romance and fun in the sun.
How to Overcome Your Shyness When Approaching Single Women in Nightclubs The following is a guide to use in overcoming your shyness with single women at nightclubs. Follow these steps and you can overcome your shyness and start picking up women instead of standing on the sidelines watching other men meet, approach, attract, pick up, and seduce women in nightclubs. One of the biggest roadblocks to a shy man in picking up women is fear. Fear that he will be rejected, fear that he won't know what to say, and fear that he won't know how to act. Believe me, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear and anxiety will produce distinct psychological consequences and if there's anything that's going to hinder your success in picking up single women, it is going to be fear. The fear of being rejected by a woman can paralyze your attempts to pick up women. Accept the fact that you're going to get rejected some of the time. Just because you get rejected by a woman it does not make you worthless. There can be many different reasons why a woman may not be interested in you at any given moment. Most of these reasons have little or nothing to do with you as a person. Being rejected by a woman is just a risk you will have to take and if you do get rejected by a woman, it's not the end of the world. Keep this in mind if you get rejected by single women at a nightclub. No matter how many women are not interested in you, you must remember there are many other women at nightclubs, many of who would be delighted to know you. To overcome these fears and pick up women, you have got to approach it like you would if you were going to jump in a cold ocean to go swimming. Hurl yourself into it. Take action! You have got to practice at picking up single women. Sure, you'll get rejected a few times. We all do. So what if you get rejected. You may never see her again anyway. By practicing, you'll build up your confidence. Also, by accepting the fact that you're only practicing picking up women, the pressure to succeed won't be so great. Has this ever happen to you? You see this beautiful woman that you would love to meet, date, and have an intimate relationship with. You try to build up your nerve to approach her and you make up an excuse not to approach her like, "I'm too scared" or "I'm too nervous." Pondering, stalling, postponing, reconsidering, these are all delaying tactics that impede action. If you find yourself telling yourself these lies and making excuses, block them out of your mind immediately and take action and approach that woman right
then and there. Don't waste any time or you'll see one woman after another walk right out of your life. Don't delay trying to pick up a woman or you might find yourself delaying all your life and depriving yourself of romance with hot & sexy single women. Get rid of the idea that people are always watching you, sizing you up and evaluating you. The only people who do this are shy people who spend a lot of time fearing that they are being evaluated negatively. The reason you think you are being watched is because you do this to others. The solution to breaking this habit is to stop judging and sizing people up and you will stop thinking that others are doing the same to you. Don't worry about people evaluating you unfavorably, because the reason for this is that they think they are better than you.
How to Meet Lonely, Hot & Sexy Businesswomen in Hotels How would you like to meet and seduce some hot & sexy businesswomen? Well I've got good news...Let me turn you on to a place that's filled with these love-hungry horny women looking for love and romance. Where is this place that's a hot bed for romance? It's your upscale and expensive hotels. Late at night you will find these out-of-town businesswomen hanging out in the bars and lounges of these upscale hotels. These women get lonely on the road and are looking for some love and affection. This is where you come into the picture to satisfy their needs and desires. Here's a simple plan to take advantage of these lovely businesswomen who are looking for some action: • • • • •
Begin hanging out at the bars and lounges late at night in the most expensive hotels in your town. When you spot a special lady you are attracted to that's sitting alone, just approach her and simply ask, "Can I join you for some conversation?" Most likely she will welcome your company and you can talk to her about things in general, like her interests, career, why she is in town, goals, family, etc. Just keep talking to her and turn on your best charm and keep having drinks with her. At the end of the night, after she's had a few drinks and lost her inhibitions, don't be surprised if she invites you up to her room (of course you can always ask her if you can come up and tuck her into bed).
In conclusion, try this little known place to score with women that most men aren't even aware of. There will be golden opportunities to score with some drop-dead gorgeous businesswomen. Maybe it won't happen the first night, but if you will be persistent and keep hanging out in the bars and lounges, I can assure you that you will get lucky.
How to Use Gymnastics and Tumbling Skills to Meet Tons of Hot & Sexy Single Women One of the best ways I've found for attracting the admiration of and meeting women (especially cheerleaders/tumblers/gymnasts/etc.) is: Go to the gym/park/beach/etc. where there are women (especially those who are into athletic physiques). Practice/perform gymnastics/tumbling skills such as flips, splits, etc. as part of your workout/practice/jog/etc. Pretty soon, cute girls (most of who did cheerleading/tumbling/or gymnastics) will come up to you and say, "Wow, were you a gymnast?", etc., etc. The gymnastics (flips/splits/etc.) is just a universally admired conversation piece that cute girls will use to strike up a conversation with you. Also, wear a tank top to show off your muscles too. You and the girls will already have something in common (gymnastics/tumbling/cheerleading). Gymnastics is easily learned (3-8 weeks is average for learning a flip) so take lessons if you're not already a gymnast (it's about $40 a month) – trust me, it's the best for attracting beautiful women (most of whom were also cheerleaders/tumblers/dancers, etc.).
Where to Meet Single Women During the Holidays The Holidays are a great time to meet women! What makes it great you say? Because it has never been easier to know where to find and seduce hordes of single women! The secret to knowing where to find them is an obvious one. You know that every woman loves shopping, and you know that during the holidays everybody has to shop! Now for me, being a man and all, the idea of going to the mall and spending an hour fighting for a parking spot just to spend all my hard earned money on people like my girlfriend's parents seemed very unappealing to say the least. But I had to do it, and so did everyone else that I could think of. Almost everyone celebrates some sort of gift giving holiday, and that includes hundreds and thousands of beautiful single women. So when I went to the mall the other day to buy gifts and saw all of the amazing women, it made me think twice about having a girlfriend during the holidays! Here I was, stuck with a girlfriend during the best possible time to meet women I could think of. What a bummer! Now it's time to get straight to the point. The mall (during Christmas time) is the most amazing place to meet single women that I have ever encountered. Not only is it packed every single day with hundreds of beautiful women, but the pickup lines come so naturally that I almost feel guilty. Lines like "Do you think my sister would like this?" (holding up a random item) to the more involved "Could you help me? I need a really good present for my sister this year and I can tell by what your wearing that you have great taste in clothes. Would you mind recommending something for me?" are excellent conversation starters and the women feel very at ease and appreciated since they are doing you a favor. (Just don't tell them that you really don't have any sisters!) And the best part about shopping at the malls during the holidays? The single girls will start conversations with you! When they ask,"Do you think my brother would like this shirt?" and you say "It doesn't matter if he likes the shirt or not. You could give him a dirty sock and since its from a wonderful person like you he would cherish it forever!" They will be charmed out of their minds! If you go to the mall this holiday season , the best presents you are gonna come home with are dates and phone numbers from fabulous women! And they say guys hate to shop!
Worst Places to Meet Single Women Bars. Sorry, it doesn't work for a number of reasons. The conditions are horrible, the competition is fierce and the mindset of the single women is all wrong. The music is too loud for decent conversation, which is essential. It could happen, but luck is not with you. NEVER GO TO A BAR BY YOURSELF! You immediately have the word "LOSER" tattooed on your forehead. What are you going to do - stand against the wall with a beer and watch the single girls walk by? Are you hoping one of them will stop and say, "Hey, you really remind me of Brad Pitt - how about coming back to my place?" Right. Only go to a bar with a group and for a reason. You can go with some buddies to watch a game or hear a good band or celebrate Jim's promotion. The best situation is to go with a mixed group of couples and singles. You have a crowd to hang with. You can invite a lady to join your group if the opportunity presents itself. You are talking and enjoying yourself and you will appear much more attractive than the collection of single dolts standing by the ladies' room.
Mind Training How to Handle Rejection From Women Rejection, rejection by a woman, rejection by the woman, the woman who has captured your thoughts, the woman whose smile sends shivers of warmth down your spine, the woman whose touch you dream of ... this icy doom fills you with dread. It is the utter desolation of helplessness. It is the worm of self-doubt. It is the gripping fear that warns you to abandon hope. Rejection is a part of everyday life. People are turned down for raises, refused promotions, declined for loans, and passed over for recognition. Rejection is not final. Rejection is not ruin. Indeed, rejection can be the precursor to eventual success. There is nothing personal about rejection. It happens to everyone. It is part of "the cost of doing business". It is intimately connected with risk taking. Every worthwhile endeavor at some point involves the risk of failure. This is what makes life interesting. It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true. Consider a rejection as a "second opinion" of sorts. The woman who rejects you might well have sounder judgment in the matter of a possible relationship than you. She may have compelling reasons for her conclusion that you are ill suited for each other, saving the both of you a great deal of future grief. This does not, of course, mean you are worthless as a person, just that she was not meant for you, and that you should find someone else. There are techniques that can remove some of the sting from the fear of rejection. Simply "scoping the situation out", proceeding in small steps, rather than taking the grand plunge all at once is a prudent method of risk management. Asking a woman you have just met to become intimately involved with you is an enterprise almost certain to fail. Asking her to share five minutes over a cup of coffee is a more modest proposal, one much more likely to meet with her approval (after that, she may hint, or even let you know outright if she is willing to go farther). Tackle tricky situations in small increments. When you do face rejection, and you will, accept it with good cheer. Bounce back and try again (presumably with a different woman). Continued life experience will desensitize you to the trauma of having doors slammed in your face. You learn to survive. You learn to go on. You learn to keep trying.
Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.
Overcoming Your Fear Of Rejection Imagine this. You see this gorgeous woman sitting at the table next to you. Your heart pumps, your pulse quickens. You quickly think of what to say to her. You try to get up and walk over, but for some reason an invisible force holds you back. You try to move your legs. They're as heavy as lead. You curse your inability to overcome your fear of rejection. She gets up and walks away; leaving you. Perhaps forever. You want to kick yourself. In a vain attempt to correct matters, you wait at that same spot days after, hoping that she will return. "It's the things you don't say that you regret the most" Look at it this way. Just imagine yourself unhappy because for one split second, you hesitated and threw away the chance to start something together. Your whole life down the drain. For your whole life, you'll be asking yourself "And what if..." "If only I had the guts to..." You'll be miserable as you'll keep questioning yourself, thinking of things that might have been. You see, if you had at least asked herself out, you'll know that you tried and time will heal your soul. You'll be able to look back and laugh the whole thing off. "Hah! What an idiot I was back then. Imagine, I dared to ask the Prom Queen out. Boy, that was fun." So go. Take a chance. You'll never get another one again. "Just do it" Sounds easy doesn't it but we all know it isn't since all of us, at one point in our lives, have struggled with overcoming rejection. My advice is to just do it and get it over with. According to my friend who served in Korea, "Asking women out on a date is just like killing people. After a few times, you forget why you got so shit-scared in the first place." A gruesome analogy, but a truthful one nevertheless. Okay. Okay. Don't switch off the computer and rush down to ask your one true love out just yet. If you don't know anything about asking a girl out, you can't possibly hope to succeed. Before you go out and do something rash, read up on the next chapter
Misconceived Belief of Shy Men When Meeting Single Women If I Ask a Woman to Dance and She Turns Me Down or If I Talk to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her. This irrational belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman and produces low selfesteem when they are rejected. This fear of being rejected and turned down prevents shy men from making contact with single women. If you're turned down for a dance, it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance. There can be a number of reasons. So don't take it personally. However, what to do in a case like this is to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes, just ask her again later. Even better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?" In the mean time just ask other women to dance. Also, I might add, a lot of guys get turned down to dance, so don't feel that you're the only man in the world that happens to. It happens to all men, even real good-looking men. If you approach a woman and try to start up a conversation and she ignores you, don't take that personally either. She just may not feel like talking or being bothered. Perhaps she's tied down to a boyfriend or even married. Also, you just might not be using the proper social skills. So if she ignores you, move on to the next single woman and you'll find someone who will respond to your advances.
The Myth of the Line Rejection A woman will not usually tell a guy to get lost in the first fifteen seconds. If she does, she may be a barracuda and you have lost nothing. Consider yourself lucky. Most single women will deliver gentle hints and body language and hope you get the message. They don't want to hurt anyone. If you are perceptive enough to notice them, you can gracefully move on. You are in control and your pride is intact. You get to say, "See you later." How could that hurt? At least you don't have to walk across the gym floor while your friends laugh at you. Believe me, no one is even interested in what just happened. They are all working their own agenda.
Style - Your Smile People just don't smile enough. We don't mean to make you a grinning idiot or a used car salesman. The secret is timing. You need to turn it on and off at the right time. Careful here - this sounds fake, but allow us explain. You have pleasant feelings and thoughts all the time. You wake up and see a great day outside. You pet the dog. You read Doonesbury or Dilbert. You find ten dollars in a pair of pants under your bed. You go the gym and see an empty treadmill next to that cute single redhead you've been interested in. (Now we're getting somewhere.) In all these instances, especially if you are alone, you would just enjoy the moment and maintain your typical poker face. It's easier. What's the point of working out those facial muscles if no one can see it? Plenty. It's conditioning. Allow yourself to express warm and fuzzy feelings by smiling when it feels right. Always. People will actually begin to catch you at it. They will wonder what you're up to. After a while it will become second nature. You will begin to smile more. Of course, when the moment is over, you need to relax. People will think you're doing a Jack Nicholson impression if you don't.
Why You Should Consider Dating & Pursuing Relationships With Single Women You Are Not Normally Attracted to Popular culture depicts a sleek, long legged, big-breasted, nubile blonde as the ideal love partner... just the type of fantasy woman who would turn up her nose at the shy man, and why not, as she could choose from any number of ruggedly handsome socially adept men...These are the "beautiful people," a world unto themselves, unapproachable, narcissistic, smug, and far removed from reality. Shy men are well advised to stay clear of this particular crowd. Consider instead single women outside the mainstream. Fellow social outcasts, they are real people who have had to grapple with life's hardships, to endure pain, to choke on embarrassment, to feel the lash of rejection...just as you have. Struggling with problems, rebounding from failure, learning by necessity to fight - all this develops the personality, forces one to grow, to become fully human, to become capable of loving and worthy of being loved. "Ugly" single women glow with a serene inner beauty. Their faces are a study in rococo sculpture, an unfamiliar language of landscape and form, an intricate and convoluted road map of life itself. Their bodies hold promise of hidden delights. Their spirits reach out in too-long denied explosive passion. Fat single women are round and cuddly. Lush and sensuous, warm and accepting, they radiate love. Their endless flowing curves, impossible to encompass save by caress, express the very essence of femaleness. Soft and yielding, ever so much more squeezable than their sharp-edged bony sisters, they submerge you in their embrace, their embrace, oh, so sweet, the Primeval Ocean, the source of life. Older single women make better lovers, as celebrated in song and folklore. Their life skills uplift shy youthful lovers past barriers of fear and inexperience. Unexcelled as nurturers and teachers, they bestow patience and understanding. They care. Women of different races and cultures blend an aura of the exotic with a tinge of the forbidden. Diversity adds color to a relationship, and a touch of the strange lends spice and excitement to the flowering of intimacy. In closing, I hope you don't fall into the trap that thinking you must date single women that look like the naked women in Playboy in order for you to be happy in a relationship. You would be surprised that by dating women that you are not normally attracted to can bring you happiness and love beyond your wildest dreams.
Why You Should Not Wear Masks When Meeting Single Women Let's say you do find a hot & sexy single girl you want to meet who wants to meet you too. You start up a conversation. Since we've all been conditioned to start acting in a way that will create the best impression, especially when we first meet people, putting on a "mask" or facade is virtually unavoidable. Especially in that "first-meeting" situation, it's hard for most of us to be ourselves. We all want to be liked, so we try to act like what we guess that other person will consider both acceptable and appealing. We're not sure, but at least if she rejects my mask, so the logic goes, she still hasn't rejected me. In other words, the mask is also a defense. Yet, what if the masks may be perfect for each other, while the people behind them are not truly compatible at all? A serious problem arises if you fall in love with each other's masks because eventually, both he and she will come out from behind their masks and slip back into being the person they really are! Then, the relationship is over. And here is another problem that wearing masks cause: Suppose you don't like the mask that the other person is wearing. With a mask being used as a defense, you never really get to know the real person underneath, when all the while the real person underneath might be very compatible with you. In other words, masks get in the way! Guessing about what people are really like and what they would like to see in you takes a lot of energy. Wearing masks causes tension. Wearing masks requires a lot of effort and wastes a lot of time keeping up the front. When you are genuine and authentic, life gets much easier and is certainly much more fun. So, for this week's tips I am strongly urging you to be yourself when meeting single women. Don't try to be someone you are not. You're true personality is going to come out in the end and it's best that she is exposed to the true you in the beginning so there will not be any surprises later on in the relationship.
You - Don't be a Weenie In a good match both partners are interested in pleasing each other. You can get a sense for this very early in the dating process. Watch for signs of inconsiderate behavior or unkindness. Don't tolerate it. It will not change. If she is rude to her friends, family or coworkers - you're next. On the other hand she should not be meek and easily manipulated. Sometimes men gravitate to single women like this because they are easy conquests and can be controlled. This is a character flaw on the part of the guy. You will not have any respect for a woman who is too meek and has low self-esteem. Again, she will not change and you will regret it when she is clinging to your leg as you try to escape. The best combination is a woman who is receptive to your initiatives, but is still challenging. She may only accept you as a friend at first. That's okay. Actually, that's the best place to start. Give it some time - perhaps a couple of months. The strongest trees grow very slowly. Weeds grow very quickly. A successful relationship consists of two people who match on several levels. Adults are fully developed and only change on their own terms. Therefore, everything required by both parties must be in place beforehand. This is what makes it so difficult. Men are walking around with a key and single women are walking around with a lock. While it is true that many keys will open many locks, most of the combinations will not work. What is amazing is that so many couples will attempt to match and stay together even if the lock doesn't open. Don't let this happen to you.
Your Rap - Why Do People Love Oprah? Watch her carefully. She is a master of conversation. Ever notice how little you learn about her while she interviews guests? Is there a lot of laughter? Is the guest relaxed? How does she do it? She asks simple open-ended questions and lets the guest roll. She shows sincere interest in what they are saying and participates without going off topic. The conversation rarely shifts to her. She is carefully processing what the guest is saying and preparing her next question. Look at her body language. Posture, eye contact and gestures all contribute to the guest's comfort level. If a good conversationalist speaks, it will be to encourage the partner to continue or move them to another topic when the current one is exhausted. Maintain a pleasant smile and warm eye contact. From time to time use simple phrases like: • • • •
"Yes. . ." "Oh, I see . . ." "Uh, huh. . ." "Then what?"
Learn to rephrase what she has just said. This shows interest and ensures that you understand. Take the last event or idea and summarize it in one sentence. "So, you booked this ski trip on a whim? Right out of the blue?" "Let me get this straight. You have three jobs? One full time and two part time?" "You mean you just walked up to your roommate and said you were moving out that night?" You get the idea. Another variation is to ask for verification of your understanding. You could ask her to repeat part of what she said or ask if your rephrasing is correct. This is a very powerful and useful conversational technique. By the way a side benefit is that is takes a lot of pressure off of you.
Why Being Short Should Not Interfere With You Meeting, Dating, Attracting Single Women for Romance Height What is the secret ingredient that will attract you to single women without you uttering a single word irrespective of what you wear or what you do for a living or how overweight you may be? It is your HEIGHT. How tall you are is very, very important to women. Now before all you short guys go out and commit suicide I will tell you there are still many single women you can date and marry. When you think about height being important I can imagine a lot of you guys getting very angry. If you are overweight you can go on a diet and lose weight to become more attractive to women. If you are poor you may be able to get a job or gain a promotion to become richer. You can then dress better. If you smoke you can give up the cigarettes and if you are an alcoholic you can give up the booze. There is no damn way you are going to get any taller though. Wearing shoes with high heels just accentuates your lack of height and telegraphs to both men and women how self conscious you are about your height. So you get angry at women wanting something in you that you can't change. That is the way I felt but the solution is to date single women that are the same height as you or shorter. Easy. Protection The reason women enjoy the company of men that are their height or taller goes way back when men were expected to protect, shelter and provide for women. A somewhat outdated notion now but elements of this mentality exist subconsciously in women's minds today. Women think how can a man who is short protect and shelter me from harm? Taller men are perceived to have more muscle and more strength. Women feel safer snuggling in the arms of a man who can surround them and protect them from outside elements. Some women feel that this is "natural" and feel more "comfortable" this way. Some men also feel like this. Some men also find taller women intimidating. The good thing is that shorter men can still provide women with all these needs. All a guy needs is a shorter woman and he can provide women with the same feelings a guy 12 inches taller can provide to a taller woman. Shorter Is Better You are now thinking, great, now I've got to eliminate all those tall, leggy, slender single women that I crave for. Don't look at it that way. I prefer to look at it in a more positive way. The more astute reader is going to realize that chasing taller women, who are not interested in shorter men anyway, is a complete waste of time. You can utilize your time
better by chatting only to single women shorter or the same size as you. Don't forget to allow for the additional height women gain by wearing high heeled shoes when judging a woman's height. Believe me they are some very attractive and desirable shorter women around. Some of them are as pretty and as cute as can be and they aren't necessarily overweight. So the next time you enter a nightclub or bar don't even look at the taller women - head straight to the nearest women who are the same height as you or shorter. Less Competition You'll find that even a lot of the taller men don't bother with women who are a great deal shorter than them. That leaves you with less competition. The guys 6' 3" and above are chasing the women 5' 10" or taller. If you are 5' 10" then any woman from 5' 4" to 5' 10" is your go. Not a bad range is it? If you are 5' 6" or less that still leaves you with plenty of women to meet. One thing you should always remember is that men are generally taller than women anyway. Another thing you need to know is that the taller the woman the more likely it is that she will prefer the company of a taller man. A 6' 0'' woman is more likely to be with a taller man than a woman say 5' 8" or 5' 6". I have observed the taller a woman is the less tolerant she is towards shorter men. Dazzle With Personality If you do really fancy a woman who is taller than you there is still hope. Remember that women prefer personality to looks. If you have personality you may be able to dazzle her with it and overcome her natural preference for taller men. You will have to work very hard at it though as it is likely she will not be as responsive and open to you as she would be from an approach from a taller man. If you have a sense of humor she can relate to or some other personality traits she cannot resist you still have a chance. You had better be quick of the mark because if your fantastic personality doesn't come to the fore quickly you'll find she'll soon tire of you and begin to look elsewhere. There are exceptions to the rule that single women prefer men the same height as them or taller but 9 times out of 10 you will find single women in the company of men who are taller than them. One of my ex-girlfriends is an example of this as she is 5' 8" and I am 5' 6". Height had nothing to do with our relationship, either in the courting or separating stages but I find this is the exception rather than the rule. Tests To prove to yourself height is important there are 4 easy tests you can conduct to prove this. Ask women friends at work or within your family of all the men they have dated and/or married how many have been shorter than them. Invariably they will say very few, if any.
Go to shopping centers or just walk down the street and look at people who are obviously couples and observe who is the taller in the relationship. In most cases the boyfriend or husband will be the taller. Look at as many personal ads as you can and see how many single women put in a height or height range requirement of the men they would prefer to meet. You'll find many have such a requirement. If you look at men's ads height is hardly mentioned as a desirable physical characteristic The final test, and the most beneficial to you, is to restrict yourself to shorter women and see how much more positive women's responses to you will be. Shorter women will more likely give you a chance to impress them. It is sad watching men at nightclubs and bars chasing women 6 inches or more taller than them and continually getting the brush off. These guys invariably keep trying using all their best lines and techniques - all to no avail. They keep on chasing all the tall women all night when all they have to do is turn around and open their eyes to all the shorter women who find them attractive. These single women are hoping these men would give them all the protection, security and shelter they seek. Conclusion So remember that height is important to single women. You can be mildly overweight or obese or partially or completely bald and have a better chance with a shorter women than any shorter guy has with a taller woman. Don't waste your time reaching for what you can't have and stick to the attainable. Lastly, don't go around complaining about your height. It is not you that has a problem with your height. It is women who have a "thing" about height. It may be a subconscious thing to women but in many cases it is a major concern nevertheless. What you need to do is turn that women's "thing" into your favor. The best way to do it is to concentrate only on single women who find your height acceptable. Don't carry on about your perceived lack of height as people will only say you are suffering from "Small Man's Syndrome". That is the last thing you want.
Body Training Clothing You need a least one good suit. It may take a while to find the right one and pay for it, but make it a goal. It should be made of one hundred percent wool and be very dark. You can use it for a variety of situations including weddings and New Year's Eve. Buy on sale, but spend as much as you can for a top label. It will last for years. Your new suit should fit perfectly. This is key. Buy it where they have a good tailor. Ask around. Be sure to tip him. It will eventually pay off. Buy a good quality white shirt. Be sure to buy the right neck size. Check with a tape measure. Invest in an expensive (about forty dollars) silk tie. Learn to tie a double Windsor knot. You will look great. You will also need a pair of dark dress socks and a pair of good dress shoes, preferably black. These should always be freshly shined and ready to wear.
Exercise How do you fit all this exercise into your life? If you are not exercising at all, here is a good starting plan. Try to start with 30 minutes of exercise three times each week. It is best to start walking two of those days, and do some strength training one day. Target all the major muscle groups with one set each. Always include some stretching at the end of every workout. What is most important first is establishing the habit of exercise! After you have accomplished this for three months, lengthen one of your walking sessions to include both walking and weights. This will give you one day of walking, one day of weights and one day of both. Follow this for up to six weeks. Your next goal should be to increase your walking time on the your walking only day. Increase it in five minutes increments to 45 minutes or one hour, depending on your time availability. Follow this schedule another six weeks. Next, on your lifting only day, increase the intensity (weight) of your exercises. Work to momentary muscle fatigue within 8-12 reps. Follow this for two to six weeks, then increase the volume on this day by adding a second set to your exercises. At this time you may feel that you can add another day of exercise or try a yoga class.
Be Civil in Your Suit - Mister Manners Scores Points Please and thank you. Be very liberal with these two phrases. Your mom was right. Be polite to everyone consistently and it will come naturally. Waiters, valets, and cab drivers are all people just like you. She will notice. Open doors. You would be surprised how much single women appreciate this. Most of your competition won't bother. Good. Get out of the car, walk around and open her door. (Don't be staring at her legs as she gets out.) Always extend an arm to help her in or out of a car or a chair. On the way back, unlock her door and let her in first. Walk ahead to doors and hold them open for her as she enters or exits. Always hold doors for her when possible, but in any case NEVER use one ahead of her. Get in the habit of always doing this. It really sets you apart. Push her chair in. A gentleman always stands when a lady enters or leaves a room. This is especially true at a table. Rise and pull her chair out as she stands up. When she returns, rise again and push her chair in as she sits. If you have to leave say, "Please excuse me." When being escorted to a table or a seat by an usher or hostess, the man follows the lady. If there is no assistance, the man leads and escorts the lady into the room. If the two of you are walking in together she should be on your right. If it's a formal occasion let her take your right arm. Always offer to help her with her coat. Always offer to walk her to her door at the end of the evening.
Hygene Are You Aware That Bad Breath Can Prevent You From Scoring With Single Women? If you have bad breath, this can be a major turn-off when you are trying to meet and pick up single women. And the main problem is that you may not even be aware that you have bad breath which can instantly ruin your chances of attracting and dating all those hot & sexy single women of your dreams. At the end of this article I will show you how to test your breath. "Over a 24-hour period, everyone has bouts of bad breath," said Carol Meyer, a dental hygienist and president of Personal Breath Consultants Inc., based in Long Island, NY. The American Dental Association estimates that 40 percent of adults - 85 million Americans - have chronic bad breath. The most common cause of bad breath is bacteria, trapped food between the teeth, and poor dental hygiene. Today, Americans spend more than $1 billion each year on rinses, mints and gums to to make their breath fresher. Unfortunately, these are only short-term fixes. "They temporarily help," said Dr. Richard Haydon, a University of Kentucky ear, nose and throat specialist. Mouthwashes, for instance, will last less than an hour. Haydon also cautions that most mouthwashes contain alcohol, which can irritate the tissues of the mouth. Ironically, excess alcohol also causes bad breath, so people who use excessive amounts of mouthwashes with alcohol might end up with worse breath than they started with. There's only one way for most people to control bad breath: "Immaculate oral hygiene," Dr. Ted Raybould, a University of Kentucky dentist said. That includes brushing twice daily for at least two minutes each time, making sure to hit all areas of every tooth. "And flossing's the biggest one," Raybould said. "Food gets stuck between the teeth and starts to rot." Tongue cleaning is also important in eliminating bad breath. Tooth brushes aren't really designed to clean the tongue, especially the back areas of the tongue, where offensive bacteria collects. The best way to clean the tongue is by using tongue cleaners you can purchase from your dentists, drug store, and other outlets. A University of Toronto study found that tongue cleaning reduced sulfur gases and offensive odor by 75 percent - 50 percent more than just brushing.
It is also recommended while brushing your teeth that you gently brush inside the cheeks and gums and the roof of the mouth. Using the advice contained in this article should eliminate any bad breath problems that can affect your dating and love life. If you follow this program for good dental hygiene and you still have bad breath, then perhaps you have a medical problem that causes bad breath and you should see your doctor. So, how can you tell if you have bad breath? There are three easy ways, according to Meyer, a leading breath consultant: • • •
Lick your wrist and take a whiff of it. Swab the inside of your cheeks or tongue with a piece of gauze or cotton swab and sniff. Floss with unscented dental floss and smell the floss.
Trust me, this is the most accurate method of testing your breath. Breathing into your cupped hands and taking a whiff is not accurate. I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to not have bad breath when you're trying to meet, attract, date, and seduce single women. I know you may think it's a pain in the ass to take care of your teeth and tongue, but it's worth it because you certainly don't want to become a failure with women because of something that you can easily correct.
Top 10 Colognes that women find irresistible on a man Listen up guys! This is one of the most important tips listed so far on meeting, attracting, and seducing single women. I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to smell good when you're trying to pick up girls. It's a proven fact that women are powerfully attracted to men that are wearing a good-smelling cologne. It has a hypnotic and seductive effect. It can be so powerful, it can make her sexually attracted to you. So, this being the case, you must take advantage of this aphrodisiac. So, what are these colognes that attract single women like a magnet? Well, we sent our research specialists out in the field and interviewed single women and sales clerks at prestigious department stores to find out the "Top 10 Colognes" that women find irresistible on a man. Here are the "Top 10" Colognes in random order: Liquid Magnet which contains pheromones. Tommy by Hilfiger. Claiborne Sport by Liz Claiborne Eternity for Men by Calvin Klein Hugo Safari for Men by Ralph Lauren. Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren. Gucci Nobile Weekend Burberrys Fahrenheit by Christian Dior. I would highly recommend that you buy them all and experiment to find out which works best for you in seducing single women.
In Closing, don't overlook this easy way to improve your lovelife and attract single women like a magnet. Try these girl-getting colognes! They work!
Body Language Signs How to Tell if a Single Woman is Really Interested in You It's very important to learn how a single woman acts, speaks, and uses body language around you that indicates that she is romantically or sexually interested in you. When you learn these signs, you can use this to your advantage. If a woman is truly interested in you, this really increases your chances of scoring with her. Use these guidelines to tell if a single woman is truly interested and attracted to you: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face. She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated (this could be mistaken for being high on drugs). Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth. While talking to you she is slowly stroking her cocktail glass up and down with her thumb and index finger. If she is wearing clothes that shows her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect. She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you. She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way. She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you. She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. She exposes the palms of her hand facing you. She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you. She rubs her wrists up and down. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. She laughs in unison with you. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you. Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions. She mirrors your body language and body positions. Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you. While talking to you, she rest an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
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In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you. While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes. She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
I know this is a lot of signs to look for, but this will be to your advantage to know if she's interested in you. If she's not truly interested in you, you will just be wasting your time on her. Memorize these positive signs to determine if she's got the "hots" for you and take advantage of the situation accordingly with your charm and seduction techniques.
10 Top Negative Body Languages Signs that Single Women Give to Indicate That She is Not Interested in You You lean towards her and she leans back away from you. She starts turning away from you. She doesn't make eye contact with you. She folds her arms across her chest. Double crosses her legs at the ankle. She touches her nose often while she's with you. A limp or hanging hand can indicate boredom with you. When talking to you, her eyes keep glancing at other guys around her. She makes no effort to talk to you. She doesn't reply to any of your comments, doesn't answer your questions, and doesn't ask any questions about yourself. Unless she just doesn't feel good or is moody this could indicate that she's not interested in you and you will be wasting your time. And last, she just come out an tell you to get lost, go away, go to hell, or ever worse, to fuck off!
Opening Lines Dating Tips on How to Talk to Single Women Before you'll be meeting new single women for love and romance, take an inventory of the things that are important to you, and that you'd like to talk about. What are you excited about now? What changes are taking place in your life? What have been the most important events or people in your life? What future plans are you most enthusiastic about? Why do you feel the way you do about things? What are your concerns? What is your vision for the future? What are your likes and preferences? The answers to these questions tell her how you relate to the world around you. Be specific, so that your conversational partner gets a lot of free information to pick up on. Communicate your enthusiasm. Disclose some of your feelings and values.
Some Fall-Backs For Shy Men If you're shy and have trouble talking to single women, it helps to be prepared with things to talk about. Besides the things that are most important to you, here are sources for conversational fuel: Come up with 3 or 4 interesting or exciting things that have happened to you recently. Practice telling these stories on family or friends, or practice in front of a mirror or with a tape recorder. Read current newspapers and magazines, and be prepared to talk about events that interest you. Collect a couple of sure-fire, inoffensive jokes. Become knowledgeable about what's going on in your city. People always want to know more about what's happening locally. See current movies and read current books. You're bound to find single women who have seen the same movies or read the same books.
Opening lines Work out a personal "opening line" and try it with endless variations. Some men need the support, the crutch, of a definite "line" in approaching and winning a woman. If you do, give a good deal of thought to this while you're working, reading, traveling. Formulate a number of possibly effective opening lines in your mind and then sit down with a pencil and paper and write them down. Practice them out loud before a mirror until you get just the phraseology which sounds most natural, smooth, spontaneous and attractive. Practice delivering it in private aloud until you can use it as if it has just occurred to you in response to this particular woman. Go out and practice it, but with the freedom and confidence to vary it imaginatively to fit every new situation and woman. Here's a few great opening lines to use when you run across a single woman you would like to meet: •
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Bars and nightclubs - "Do you want to dance?" If she says no, whatever you do, don't just walk away. Follow up with, "If you don't want to dance, do you mind if I join you for some conversation?" Nightclubs with "live" music - "What do you think of the band?" Restaurants - "This is my first time here. What's good on the menu?" Another one you could use is, "Would you like to go have a drink after dinner?" Beaches - "Would you like to play some Frisbee?" or "I'm going to the store, can I bring you back anything?" Supermarkets - "Excuse me, which steak looks better to you?" or "How do you tell which one of these cantaloupes is ripe?" Laundromats - "Would you like to go have a cup of coffee while we're waiting for our clothes?" or "Could you tell me if I should wash these clothes in hot or cold water?"
Pick out a successful Don Juan in your crowd and study his style. Don't ask him questions. He probably doesn't know himself how he does it. But try to go on "womanhunting expeditions" with him. Go to dances, parties, the beach, with him. Try to arrange some double dates together. Take advantage of every opportunity to watch him in action and study intensively, remember, rehearse in your own mind, every line and gesture in his technique with single women.
Effective Opening Lines Listed here, are a few examples of proven lines you can use to introduce yourself when picking up girls. Remember, the list of effective opening lines listed below is nowhere near exhaustive and should only serve as a starting point for you when picking up girls. Try and come out with as many of your own as you can as you grow in confidence. Restaurants "Pardon me, this is my first visit here. Could you recommend me something from the menu?" Note: These methods of picking up girls do not work in fast food outlets. Try and sound as polite as possible. "I'm not very familiar with Mexican cuisine, what would you recommend?" "The food tastes delicious, do you come here often?" "Would you like to go someplace else after this, perhaps for some coffee?" Bus Stations, Taxi Stands "Hi! What bus are you taking?" "Really! I'm taking Service No. 14. as well." (If you don't take the same bus, this might not be such a good idea) "My name's _______, what's yours"
Nightclubs And Discos "May I have this dance?" (provided of course, you know how to.) If she says no, whatever you do, don't just give up. Follow up with, "Sure, mind if I join you for some conversation?" Concerts "What do you think of the band/orchestra?" If you know something about the music playing (ex, Classical), you could add, "The quartet's rendition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons is quite extraordinary. It's been a long time since I've heard such beauty." Never ever insult the music. This will only make you seem overly critical and annoying.
Joke pick up lines This lines are good for joking around if you want a girl that enjoys a good laugh this could be very useful. WARNING!!!! If you use this it is at your own risk! I do not guarantee 100% satisfaction, ah heck I don't even guarantee 1% satisfaction. Besides the risk of getting slapped is high. Well on to the lines: 1)You: Hey, you wanna go out for pizza and screw? *she slaps you* You: What you don't like pizza? 2)If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? 3)I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 4)How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? 5) You: Are you good at math? Her: No. (this is the typical answer, but if they answer yes you're screwed)You: Oh really, well, I'll tutor... first equation, lets add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. More joke pick up lines "You shouldn't run around looking like that or one of us sex-starved young men might attack you." Said this with a grin. "Think you can dance in those shoes?" (Nice, macho line. Works best on mean women you've seen once or twice before, instead of "Have I seen you somewhere?") "Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you." "Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?" "I'm into astrology. What's your sign?" "What a lovely dog! Does it have a phone?" Classick lines "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" "I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little." "The first time I saw you, I could sense that there was a strong emotional bond between the two of us."
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about the synchronocity of multiple orgasms?" "You've got the bluest eyes I've ever seen." "I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot." "Not only am I rude and tasteless and trying to get you into bed, but I'm also being paid for it." "Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?" "Have you ever had sex underwater?" "I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate." "I'm learning Latin; would you like to come home with me and help me practice oral declinsions?" "Do you wanna fuck or do you have herpes?" "You've got nice tits; wanna fuck?"
Perfecting Your Opening Lines Not only is it necessary to work out an opening line, it can be downright FUN!. Most of us need the security offered by effective opening lines, something we can always rely on. Take time to think through opening lines you could use. Commit the opening lines you have formulated down to paper before you forget them. Remember, the opening lines must suit your personality. Can you imagine Bill Gates using an opening line like, "You must be pretty tired 'cos you were running around in my head all night, babe.?" Scary, isn't it? Are They For You? Before we go any further, let me try and explain to you why most of us fear using opening lines, opting instead to perhaps not even approach the lady in question at all!. Most of us are dead scared of using opening lines because: They are scared of rejection They are consumed by inadequacies They are afraid of being labeled as a sleazebag The first two reasons will be dealt with in later chapters. As for the last one, let me remind you that flirting is simply being friendly! Those sleazebags that give flirting a bad name are usually looking for sex, sex and more sex. Something which should be avoided. So long as you are sincere and treat women the way you want to be treated, you will avoid being in that category. Say your opening lines out loud in front of a mirror until you are able to roll the words of your tongue naturally and without stammering of any sort. Remember to accompany your opening line with a good, natural smile. You must come across as suave, urbane and most importantly, full of confidence and self esteem. Practice delivering it in private aloud until you are able to deliver your opening lines fluently and without hesitation or any sign of nervousness. Use a tape recorder, listen to your tone of voice and adjust it accordingly. Remember, you'll have to strike whenever opportunity knocks and you'll have little or no time to practice it beforehand so get it right in practice. Imagine this: Pete was walking down the boulevard when he saw this stunning figure in black sitting in an outdoor cafe. Pete was so nervous that he rushed into the nearest gents to practice what opening line he would "try" on her. Needless to say, she was gone by the time he left the lavatory. We all know Pete. There is a Pete in everyone of us. Let's not be him.
Bad Opening Lines You may have heard these lines on TV. This hulky actor bursts into a dimly lit bar and wins the sexy waitresses with these utterly horrible opening lines. Wake up and smell the cappuccino. These don't work any more. Never have, never will. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this" This does many things. Firstly, you are insulting her choice of "Hang outs" Secondly, you are insulting our own choice of "Hang outs". (You're there, aren't you?) Very stupid, very dumb. "Do you want to have my baby?" Not in this lifetime. Get real. What could possibly make her even want a relationship with a psycho like you?
Flirting Conversational Icebreakers In bars and dance clubs, instead of asking: "Can I buy you a drink" (shows lack of imagination) Ask instead, "Have you ever had (tried) a Tequila Sunrise?" Select the most exotic, unknown drink you can think of. If they say no they have not tried it, ask them if you could get their opinion on it. Why this is better than the first question is because first you are asking their opinion and secondly, because a direct offer to buy implies a return obligation on their part. For the Older Gang: Did you have a color television when you were a kid. What was the baby’s name on The Flintstones or similar question: This will almost always generate further conversation. For the younger gang, a similar question can relate to a more recent TV show or movie. In the produce department, "How can you tell if these things are ripe?" There are all kinds of grocery questions you can ask and you will almost always get a response but taking this to the next level at the supermarket can be tricky. Women do not always wear their wedding band to the grocery and the husband or wife may be merely lurking on the next aisle. If the coast seems clear, direct the conversation towards food - a universal subject of interest. This is too soon to invite them over or out for dinner. It works much better to invite them (especially if the intended date is female) to a group setting and suggest they bring along a friend. You will call them with the date, time and place. At the laundromat: "How much bleach should I put in with my good shirt". Girls can always ask for help from guys in lifting things. This seems to be universally appreciated by guys, being such simple creatures that they are... Meeting someone thru sports: The gym, tennis court, golf course, lake, swimming pool, bowling alley, jogging lane, horseback riding, auto races, horse track, running, etc. The advantage is that both parties already know they have something in common. The disadvantage is that people engage in sports often to unwind and get away from people. If you approach the first time they have seen you there, you will probably get shot down. A simple greeting the first few times may be enough and then extend the conversation every so slightly each time. Of course, if they show no interest in talking to you, don't be
a boob and keep bothering them. They will spread the word about you and you will be dead meat at that location forevermore. Meeting someone in a group at public events. A safe avenue of future contact. In fact, most young people do not initially date anymore; they just meet someone, usually in the company of others. Small groups of people meet at various places and some eventually pair off. This has been going on forever, but this trend is more common now than it has even been in the past. Besides being safer, this phenomenon is very comfortable and effective because the group itself becomes the icebreaker. Date in pairs or in small groups: This is an extension of meeting in small groups. This phenomenon is also very old and used to be referred to as double dating. At the early dating stage, this is very reassuring and it still works. An offer of an informal first date within a small group has a lower chance of rejection than a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. The latter is very serious for the initial stage of dating and runs the risk of too many mistakes and mutual embarrassment. Friend to friend contacts: Many dates are actually arranged via the grapevine. Someone who knows someone who knows someone makes a referral or gives a reference, shares a phone number or even makes the arrangements. Women tend to use this method more than men probably because females are by nature more cooperative; whereas, men are more competitive and therefore more reluctant to share contacts. It is also a known fact (so prove us wrong) that males who have more lady friends tend to get more dates than males who have fewer non-romantic lady friends. So, let your friends be your guide. They may not always choose right, but you will get you more dates.
She Loves You, She Loves You Not Okay, so you're not a petal pulling kind of guy. This list will help clarify whether or not she truly loves you without having to pluck a daisy. See which of those below apply to your situation to determine her true feelings! If it turns out that she loves you, don't blow it!! She loves you ... She shows interest in your work or hobby She may not have an avid interest in the minute details of the circuit board of the latest super computer. She may not understand the almost religious nature of the deep rumble of a true Harley-Davidson. But she will enthusiastically listen to you talk about it for hours and is even willing to accompany you to all the conventions that come to town. She never returns your calls ... She loves you not If she's not ever returning a single message you leave at work or at home; or she recently invested in a caller ID unit and suddenly you can never reach her by phone, give it up. This is not a subtle hint that her life is super busy, but rather, a blatant effort to avoid you. She loves you ... She brags about you to her family & friends How often do you hear her bragging about you, your job, your talents, your ideas? Do others mention that she was just saying the other day how wonderful you are? She avoids public places with you ... She loves you not Does she try to make your good, honest job sound more important to others? Does she wear flats only when she's out with you to give the impression to others that you are closer in height? Does she never let you select your own clothes for dates, not even occasionally? Either you're a really tacky dresser or she's not quite comfortable with people knowing the real you. She loves you ... She is willing to share you with your favorite pastime She may not be a sports fanatic but she's perfectly willing to let you go off and enjoy games with your friends. She'll even join you every now and again to cheer on your favorite team. She says "Let's just be friends" ... She loves you not
If you get that infamous line - "I just want to be friends" - you are dead in the water. What she's really saying is - "I have absolutely no lust for you and am horrified at the thought of swapping spit let alone anything else with you, but hey, if I'm bored on a Saturday night, sure, you can treat me to a movie, drinks and dinner. Oh, and don't pick me up late, you loser." She loves you ... She makes an effort to like your friends She may have to grit her teeth but she will make a concerted effort to like your friends because they're important to you. She is an avid follower of "The Rules" ... She loves you not If she follows "The Rules" with a zealot's fervor, beware. This is manipulation at it's absolute finest. She loves you ... She is always there for you No matter what's going on in your life (or hers), she encourages your dreams, supports your decisions and gives you great backrubs. She is a material girl ... She loves you not If she runs out at the mere thought that your money might be running out, say good riddance and let her go. You're better off without her. She loves you ... She says so, even after you've acted like a complete jerk! You, of course, did beg most humbly for her forgiveness and meant it!
Conversing For Maximum Attraction By golly, you've actually met a woman. Maybe you're in bar. Maybe you're at the gym or Laundromat. Maybe she's someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you're actually out on a date. In any event, now you've got to do something scary, something unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end one before it even gets started. You've Got To Talk To Her What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can't think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right" thing to say? Do you have a clue? Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman, he's basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will "connect" with the woman and make her fall for him. Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things. You need to have a plan. You need to know what definitely works and what doesn't, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don't want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.
Don't Worry, Be Happy So stop worrying about what you're going to say next. Focus all your attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying to you. Try to visualize or "feel" what she's saying. This does take a little effort. It's not very hard to do, but it's not something that men "naturally" do. You simply have to concentrate. Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any "seeds" or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle hints that women give that point to conversational topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss. An example: Bob: You come here often? Kim: Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florida. Bob: Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It's pretty crowded tonight. Bob is clueless. Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It's almost as if she's testing him to see if he has the intelligence or social skills to capitalize on what she says. Bob fails. So what would be the "right" thing to say? Well... she mentions that this is her first time in the club and she just moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly "watered the seeds" by asking a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there? f) What's it like there? Kim's two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up on. Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated that she'd like to talk about. But Bob was too worried about himself. Too worried about the impression he was making. Too worried about what to say next to actually listen to what she said.
Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to say next because the other person is "telling" you exactly what to say. Kim even subtly indicated that she was attracted to Bob (or at least not repulsed by him). How? She didn't blow him off. She gave him some free information to talk to her about. This may have been a conscious decision on her part or it may have been a somewhat unconscious act. In any event, Bob didn't pick up on it and blew his chances with her. Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to get to know you better, she will give you free information to follow up on. She will throw out some seeds for you to water. If she's not attracted to you, she won't give you much of anything and it will be very difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her. No matter how charming you are, if she doesn't "help you out some" you'll eventually have to admit defeat and walk away. So be sure to listen for the topics she'd like to discuss. Now in order to converse for maximum attraction, you need to keep two other things in mind. You need to tell her about yourself. And you need to maintain a proper talk/listen ratio. You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if you want others to like you. This is true... to a certain extent. People do like to talk about themselves and they do like those who listen, ask questions, and seem interested in what they're saying. But, if you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than that. You've got to tell her something about yourself. Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that you two are very much alike. You do this by making "me-too" statements. That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or make yourself seem similar to her. For example: Kim: I really miss Miami. Jim: I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I loved it. Even thought about moving there myself. Jim is smooth. Jim didn't ask a question (this time). He told Kim something about himself that made him seem similar to her. Now if Jim has also been listening and asking questions, then he's probably doing very well with Kim.
Personal Space We maintain several zones of personal space depending on our comfort level. We will let anyone, other than terrorists, to remain more than five feet out of range. We are effectively ignoring these people. Of course, this range may be used for distance flirting. In a business or social setting we expect people to remain two to four feet away to maintain a comfort level. This is where you need to be in the initial stages of flirting. When signs of success are obvious and you think you are invited, you can move into the intimate zone - an arm's length or less. In general, single women will not allow anyone this close unless they are very comfortable and very interested. If you get to this point it is a very good sign. Do your best to stay here as long as possible.
Advices on Flirting I hear all the time from men and women who don't understand the rules of the game. A lot of the time they aren't even aware of the game going on around them. Read on for some tips about getting started. There's even good advice for experience flirts here.
Dear Lorenzo, I am absolutely useless at the game, what do I do? I don't know how to get girls interested in me, and if they were interested in me, I would not know. I just feel that I cannot talk to them properly, or get worried about saying certain things. This makes me get nervous, and I start to stutter. It also has made me go around thinking that I am not interested in checking out girls, but really I am. I am a Picean, and I'm 23, if this helps, so could you help? Picean
Dear Picean, Don't worry! You just need practice at the game of flirting! Most of us truly effective flirts have only become so with years of study and practice! The first step, which you've completed, is recognizing that you don't have your skills perfected and you'd like to improve upon them, and then asking for the help you need! Sometimes we look in the media and assume that women admire and desire those outwardly-flirtatious men like the charming playboy or the gruff, protective hero. In reality, women don't really want to deal with someone who is so into his image, who is overdone, who is aggressive, or who thinks he knows it all. So you are actually ahead of the game with your humbleness, sensitivity, and inquisitiveness!
Here are ten qualities that describe a successful male flirt (from The Art of Flirting by J. Jillson): • • • • • • • • • •
He is comfortable in his environment and projects ease and stability. He has a soft voice. He is confident enough to reveal something about himself. He has a real interest in women, their opinions, and talking about rather mundane things. He is honest and can be counted on to do what he says he'll do. He has good manners. He is curious about a woman and wants to know her opinions. He has the ability to tune the world out when he is with his beloved. He knows when to end the flirtation. He knows that little things count – flowers, a good-night call, etc.
My bet is that you already possess some of these qualities and didn't realize that you are already a flirt! Now that you know, start trying things out! First off, you need to place yourself in environments where you can practice your flirting and find out which techniques work best for you. Join a drama class at the local junior college, find and visit a singles' group, go grocery shopping or do your laundry at a laundromat on Friday or Saturday night, talk with your friends and go on "group dates." Remember that flirting is also used platonically, so practice with family or friends too! Just get out there and start flirting! Be confident, talk, have fun! Confidence is the number one turn on for both men and women. Treat yourself to a birthday present this month and give yourself the gift of flirtatious fun. Stop worrying so much about if you're doing it right, or if your flirting is "working," what other people think, or what sexual orientation you are! Practice makes perfect ... go for it!
Dear Lorenzo I am in need of your advice. There is a lady at my place of business whom I am interested in. I rarely have a chance to "chat" with her, and I would really like to get to know her better. She may be interested in me, she continues to give me long looks and is constantly smiling or giggling around me. But I don't know for sure. Would you please help me out. Sincerely, PDN
Dear PDN Yes, sir! The lady is indeed interested. The next time she smiles, smile back big, with something extra: a nod, or simply walk over to her. If you have not been
officially introduced, say something like, "I know we know each other's names, but have we formally introduced ourselves? You say you rarely have a chance to chat? Is this because you are at work and there is no time, and too many people around? Try these conversation openers, modified as appropriate: "How did work go today?" "How was your weekend? Do anything special?" "I certainly appreciate your friendly smile. Are you having a good day?" You must exchange a bit of small talk two or three times, then it will be natural to ask her to accompany you on a coffee or lunch break. If she is not interested, you'll know it by her response.
Dear Lorenzo, I have a question ... currently, I am going to a technical school to learn a new trade. I have been there for a few months and will be going a few more. Getting to the point, there is an administrator there who I find very attractive, but I am also very shy. She approached me last week and we chatted for a few minutes. Being shy, I hide my attraction to her. How can I "hint" to her that I am interested in her without being too ... forward, in case she may be involved? I don't want to be embarrassed since I still have to go there to finish my education. But I don't want to forget how I feel and let it go either. What should I do? Troubled Tom
Dear Troubled Tom, You're in a great position to let your potential love interest know you are interested in her since she has already made the first move by chatting with you a few weeks ago. This at least makes it much easier for you to approach her – the ice has already been broken! I recommend you find something that the two of you have in common. Obviously, there is the trade you are now learning, which she, as an administrator, has knowledge and some expertise in. What other connections or interests do the two of you have in common that would supply you with the perfect excuse to talk with her? Perhaps there is a concept you are not quite grasping, that she, as the expert, could help you on. Or, perhaps you found an article in the paper or magazine last week that discusses your trade and you just knew she would be interested in it. Whatever it is, identify what the two of you have in common and discover an excuse to talk to her again. Once you are talking with her, you can put some successful male flirting techniques to work. Be honest, friendly and polite. Most importantly, listen to her. A successful flirt has good manners, is curious about his love interest, and asks and respects her opinions. At this stage, you are still getting to know her and
letting her get to know you. Perhaps you could suggest having a cup of coffee or tea together to finish that interesting conversation the two of you started. It will not take much to give her the hint that you are interested in her if you want to talk with her, ask her advice, and share interesting things with her. Going out of your way to make contact with her about things that may seem silly or mundane to others is a sure hint that someone is interested in you. Relax and be confident. After all, she has already made the first move! Now she is just waiting for a mutually-flirtatious move back from you!
Dear Lorenzo, I'm a 25-year-old man. Besides talk, what is the most important element of a man's charm? Is it the clothing, physical appearance or .... what? Thanks for revealing this everlasting mystery for me! Mario
Dear Searching for the Mysterious Element Mario, Part of the fun and excitement in the game of flirting is the mystery that is involved – almost required – in it. What one woman considers the most important element of a man's charm may not be the same element that another woman would consider so. Each person has their own preferences for their potential love interests, and it is impossible to say what that one mysterious element is for everyone. I can tell you what the general agreement is on what the most important element of a man's charm is, but you must promise to give every woman the space to have her own opinions and decisions as well! You know that some of the most beautiful women in the world have significant others that people may not consider attractive (Paulina and Ric Ocasek), so the way a person looks is not the secret to holding onto love and devotion. Physical appearance (including clothing, hygiene, etc.) is important to attracting a woman, but it is not the attribute that will keep a woman hooked. Above all else, what holds a woman's interest is a man's personality. A woman may be initially interested in the most handsome man in the room, but if that man turns out to be a creep, she will soon lose interest. Have you ever noticed how the most beautiful people seem to become instantly unappealing when their attitude is ugly? There is a magic that makes someone beautiful, and it's found in that person's charm, confidence, charisma. Marilyn Monroe had that magic, Julia Ormond does not. So that's the secret element: a warm personality ... approachability ... friendliness. Hopefully, you have already begun to incorporate this into your own flirting techniques. Have fun flirting!
Methods to Seduce Women How to Seduce Single Women Using Romantic Lighting Is your house or apartment romance ready for seducing single women by using seductive lighting? Let me explain what I mean: When you have a girl come over to your place you need to make sure that it is romantically ready with seductive and soft lighting. To make sure your place has seductive lighting, take these steps: Replace all your 100 and 75 watt light bulbs with soft 40 watt bulbs. Those bright 100 watt bulbs will tend to make your date feel more tense. You want just the opposite effect in making her feel relaxed and receptive to your romantic advances towards her. If possible, replace all your light switches with dimmer switches. This gives you the ultimate control of creating a soft and romantic atmosphere for seducing your date. Of course, the ultimate lighting for romance, is a roaring fireplace. If you have one, always use it! Even in the summer - just lower the thermostat on your A/C. What I buy is the artificial logs. They make a nice romantic fire quickly. Last but not least, is the ever popular way of creating romance is with the use of candles. Trust me guys, women love candlelight and it's a great way to get them turned on and ready for intimacy.
How to Seduce Single Women With Candles, Incense, and Fireplaces In this chapter I will focus on how to make your apartment or house more romantic for seducing single women. All you need are three simple things: • • •
scented candles incense firewood or artificial logs
These powerful aphrodisiacs really turn single women on and put them in a romantic mood for seduction. You will need to go to the store and buy an assortment of scented candles and incense. Then when you have the women over at your place, get her opinion on which scent she likes before you light the candles and incense. After she has made her selection light them up and the erotic and stimulating scents will fill the air. Now, all you have to do is dim the lights, put a log in the fireplace, and put on some romantic music. With this romantic atmosphere you should be irresistible to women. And don't make the mistake of thinking candles and incense are for sissies. Women are very attracted to these romantic gestures and the bottom line is preparing single women for your advances.
How to Attract and Seduce Single Women With Poetry for Romance and Love I know what you may be thinking. Poetry is for wimps. All single women in general love poetry and one of the fastest ways to a woman's heart is using poetry. I can assure you that if you use poetry on her she won't think that you're a wimp. She will be impressed! When should you give her a poem? Give her a poem to remember you by when you meet women in nightclubs, at the beach, parties, near closing time at bars and nightclubs, or when you're leaving the club, etc. Here are some good poems to write on a piece of paper (try to avoid using napkins, use nice paper) to give to her: To: ____________(her name) It takes the Sun and the Rain, to make the flowers grow. It takes the Moon and the Stars, to make the Heavens glow. It takes a wish, and lots of hard work to make a Dream come true. And to make my Life really happy, it takes a "Sweet" and "Lovely" girl like you! * This poem below is my personal favorite poem that worked best for me on single women in bars and nightclubs. Also, I used this poem successfully on topless dancers in the topless clubs: To:_____________(her name) Some girls are nice, Some girls are "Sweet," And some are "Dear as can be." And once in a great while, a girl like _____(her name) comes along, Who happens to be "All Three!" To:______________(her name)
You make me feel.... like something special, because you are. To:______________(her name) I'll tell you my fantasy, it's an evening for two, anywhere...with you. Be sure and put your name and phone number on the back of the poem with a message such as: I'd like to get to know you better. Call me and let's meet for lunch. I'll be disappointed if you don't call. It might not be a good idea to sign your full name to these poems. An angry boyfriend or husband may come looking for you if he finds it. If you're absolutely sure she doesn't have a boyfriend or husband, then go ahead and sign your full name. It's a judgment call.
How to Seduce Single Women With Food for Love and Romance The art of Dating is similar to the perfect Culinary experience. The first, date, encompasses all of your senses, visual, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. The Art of food includes all of these senses. When, you meet the perfect mate, and make the first date, you want a memorable evening, which allows the magic, the chemistry, to develop. This is often done through dining. So it is very important to choose the proper wine, interesting food, which is presented in a manner to tease the senses, and delight the oral fixation of the palette. The table is a place to have a conversation that flows like fine wine. It is a place of comfort and relaxation. So, with proper planning, you can establish a relationship which can develop into the long romantic evening. Like, the ones we read about, or hear our friends talk about. So lets look at the reasons you would rater cook at home for your date, inlue of dinning out. To do the work, to make a meal for a date is far more intimate than heading out to your local Bistro. It can be done with ease and your results will be rewarded. As far as what to serve, that can be discussed on an individual basis. Setting the mood, it needs to be done with panache. I would create a check list, from the flowers for the table, to the wood for the fire place. Then the setting, the music, even the aroma in your home, needs to be established, so the proper mood is developed. Guys, do not forget the clean towels, for the hot tub. Time is the most important factor, do not rush through the meal, savor each course, relax between course, make it a dining experience, you have all evening, it is like a fine wine. It is like a kiss, your mind races, you make that first connection, that feeling in your heart, such excitement. It allows you get up from the table, interact, the act of serving, is very romantic, do it with style. Make each plate look gorgeous it only takes a second longer. So, get a date, cook at home. Romance is wonderful, your personal touch, will make the evening, an event. Love is only a plate away.
How to Attract Single Women With Fat Jokes Single women love a man with a good sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, she will really be attracted to you. And if you know some good jokes, it can really improve your chances in meeting, dating, attracting, and seducing single women for love, sex, and romance. So, you say you don't know any good jokes? Well, I've got some real good fat jokes for you to tell single women that you are attracted to. They are guaranteed to make her laugh and make her feel that you are a really fun guy to be with and date. Try these jokes for some good laughs: • • • • • • • • • • • •
Yo mamma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo mamma so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo mamma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. Yo mamma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell, "Taxi!" Yo mamma so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mamma so fat the National Weather Bureau has to assign hurricane names to her farts. Yo mamma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs. Yo mamma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views. Yo mamma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her. Yo mamma so fat she has her own area code. Yo mamma so fat that when she sat on a quarter a booger shot out of George Washington's nose. Yo mamma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs.
Wouldn't you agree these are hilarious? The women will think so too. However, if she is fat I would use these jokes with caution. It may backfire on you and she may kick your ass or even sit on your face and smother you to death!
How to Attract Single Women for Love and Romance Using Your Shoes Guys, I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to a single woman how your shoes look. Why? Because women are obsessed with shoes. Just look in their closets and I'm sure you will find tons of shoes for every occasion. Shoes are very important to single women. They spend a lot of time shopping for them, talking about them (especially to other women), and spend a lot of time trying to figure out which shoes to wear with each outfit. Being that women focus a lot on shoes, they will judge you by the shoes you wear and how they look in appearance. If you wear scuffed, unpolished, or out of date shoes, you're going to make a bad impression and that's the last thing you want to do. Part of the art of attracting women for love, romance, and a potential relationship is making a good impression on them. Even worse, if you want to really turn single women off, wear dirty sneakers. I even had a friend that used to wear old unsightly golf shoes on dates. Don't do it! I highly recommend these following guidelines for attracting single women with shoes: • • • • • •
Please keep your shoes polished and shiny. Make sure your shoes match your belt. If your shoe laces are frayed or discolored, replace them. Replace worn out shoes. Replace worn heels. Visit your local shoe boutiques and buy several pair of stylish and sexy shoes. Spend the most you can afford for quality name brand shoes. Don't worry about the cost - consider it an investment in scoring with single women. Don't buy cheap shoes from Target, K-Mart, Walmart, etc. (If your shoes look cheap, this can make an unfavorable impression on women and they may think that since you dress cheap you must be a cheap and miserly person).
Why Acting Like You're Married Can Attract Single Women Like Crazy Why are so many single women attracted to married men, obsessed by them? The married man has no need to "play games" or prove himself, thus he tends to be relaxed and confident in his dealings with the opposite sex. He wears the shining armour of his experience and exudes an aura of "forbidden fruit". He is unavailable, and his very inaccessibility makes him highly desirable. This is a deadly combination. So, what can the single guy learn from all this? Act married. You need not "play games" or prove yourself, thus be relaxed and confident in your dealings with the opposite sex. Do not let yourself be too accessible to the opposite sex; let the women invest at least a little bit of effort to get near you. Above all, avoid the behavior patterns of being "on the prowl" (veritably oozing neediness and desperation). Running after single women, panting, with your tongue literally hanging out, you play the fool. Staying detached, just a bit distant, cool-calmcollected, you radiate confidence and strength. Wear the shining armour of your very own experience and exude an aura of "forbidden fruit", of being the proud, sensitive, strong, and yes, desirable shy man.
Tips on How to Use Your Bathroom to Attract Single Women This tip is very important. Make sure that you're bathroom is immaculate. Women will judge you on how your bathroom looks. If your bathroom looks like a gas station public restroom with piss splattered on the floor or toilet seat, rings around the commode, pubic hair stuck to the seat, pungent smell, you're in big trouble. Women are turned off by a dirty toilet and this will make a bad impression on her. It could even cause her not to want to date you. Here's some tips on bathroom decorating that will really make a good impression on her. Always have good brands on display of colognes, salon purchased shampoo, Clinique men's products, hair sprays, etc. Single women really relate to this stuff. Also, keep on hand big fluffy terry-towels, two robes, extra new toothbrush (still in the package), etc. A final word on your bathtub and shower. Make damn sure they are spotless. Women will check it out while they're using your restroom to see if you have clean habits. Rings around the tub, algae on the sides of the shower, dirty shower curtain, pubic hairs, are going to turn her off and make you look like a slob. Guys, I just can't express how important it is to have a clean bathroom when you're dating single women. A dirty bathroom may not be a big deal to you, but single women are different and they will judge you on if you keep a clean bathroom. So, why not just keep it clean and well-stocked so you will make a favorable impression on her and make her attracted to you because you have clean habits.
How to Make a Good Impression When Calling Single Women OK, you have just met a new single girl recently and got her phone number. Now its time to make that all important first phone call to her. Are you prepared to make a good impression on her so she will be interested in dating you? Guys, I just can't stress to you enough how important that first phone call to a woman is and you will be judged on what you say and how you act towards her. When making that first phone call I know you're going to be a little nervous, but don't screw it up! Let me give you a few pointers to insure your success in making a favorable first impression when making that first phone call: •
• • •
Whatever you do, don't call when you're tired or fatigued. You won't be able to think straight and you won't be mentally sharp. You're personality is just not at its best when you are tired. Plus, it will show up in your voice too. Turn off any radio or TV in the background. This is considered rude when trying to talk to someone. You want her undivided attention, with no distractions. Please, please, please don't drink 3 or 4 beers to get up your courage to make that first phone call. You're really going to make a bad impression by coming across as drunk. Don't eat, chew ice, or smoke while talking to her. Speak clearly - don't mumble or whisper. Don't start every other sentence with..."uh."
And, my last piece of advice is the most important one. Here's what I would do before calling her: I would get out a note pad and write out what I wanted to say to her, what questions I wanted to ask her (be sure and don't sound like you are interviewing her for a job), and topics of conversation to discuss. That way, I would never be at loss for words when talking to her. I would also take notes on our conversation. I would write down things she was interested in, her hobbies, her personal and career goals, things she likes to do on her days off from work, places she like to visit, her favorite restaurants, places she likes to go on vacation, etc. What's the purpose of this? This way you'll know what things she likes to talk about. People always love to talk about things that they are interested in. Plus, it can give you some ideas on where to take her for a date.
Other Stuff How to Attract Women Women are attracted to a man that other women find attractive. To understand this trait, one has only to look at what it says about a man when he is with a woman. He must have things going for him or she wouldn't be with him. He must know how to treat a woman. He is going to be hard to get - a catch. After all, there is more than one woman vying for his time. If a man is with another woman, or has a steady girlfriend, it makes him safe. He is not out on the prowl. Women love to flirt, to express their sensuality and to test their alluring abilities. But women want to be able to do this without being "hit on" or "come on" to. So who better to flirt with, and to feel comfortable with, than a man who is safe. Though most women will deny it, women are very competitive. They love to prove the superiority of their seductive abilities by being the one to catch the man that all the women want. Women love to show off their date when they know all of their friends are envious. The lure of competing for the popular guy is strong indeed. Being seen with a woman is probably the single most important thing a man can do to help his image. It says that you have things going for you, that you know how to treat a woman, and that you are a catch and it states all of this without uttering a single word. But how does this help you if you don't already have a girlfriend or a date? Throughout the book, I will show you many ways to be seen with women and many ways to suggest that women find you attractive - even when you don't have a girlfriend.
Should You Pursue Single Women With Lots of Experience? Here's an interesting article I ran across in one of the newsgroups by an anonymous author several months ago I wanted to pass along to you about dealing with single women: MORE MILEAGE DOES NOT MEAN BETTER - Don't you ever believe any single woman who tells you that she really wants a nice guy. Even if she really meant it. When the time comes, she is at the COMPLETE MERCY of this ancient and useless MATING instinct that totally blinds her and she MUST go after the guys she cannot control, the guys who are hard to get. Or the guy who "knows" how to "ignite" those incredibly intense emotions in her. Some single women never learn and will continue dating jerks, getting involved with jerks and even marrying jerks over and over again for the rest of their lives. A second group will get to the point where the pain caused by these jerks is so much greater than any pleasure obtained. When these women hit this THRESHOLD, their Self-Images experience an automatic shift. They had enough pain. They learned their lesson. No more jerks for them. Their genetic programming was changed. And now they decide to settle down and get married. And there is a third group who will be worried that their "biological clocks" are ticking away. So, they decide to settle down, get married and have children. And guess what?. Since a jerk will never stick around, ALL THESE WOMEN in the second and third groups will select a NICE GUY to have the DUBIOUS honor of being their husbands and the parents of their children. What a joke. After "spreading their legs around" and sleeping with one jerk after another, they select YOU, a nice guy, to protect them, take care of them and PAY FOR THEM. The really SAD part is that there are so many NICE guys out there, with low self-esteems and lousy Self-Images, who will marry these women. You deserve much, much better than that. You deserve the best women on earth. It is your birthright to have any woman you want, not just LEFTOVERS. So, if you decide to get into a SERIOUS relationship, PLEASE, respect yourself enough that you will select a woman who has "VERY LITTLE MILEAGE" under her hood, someone young, fresh, full of life and who still has an APPRECIATIVE and LOVING attitude toward men. If you go to a dealer to buy a car, you would try to get either a "brand" new car or at least one with the least amount of mileage, wouldn't you?. When getting a woman you should be even more careful and cautious than when buying a car. More mileage doesn't make her any better, contrary to what you were told. Why?.
Simply because all these very "experienced" women ALLOWED themselves to be hurt, used and abused by so many guys in the past and they ERRONEOUSLY start to think that "all men are dogs". And these women will bring into any NEW relationship ALL THAT GARBAGE of their hurtful past. They will be resentful, frustrated, revengeful, vindictive and real BITCHES. There are some exceptions to this rule, but not very many.
Dating Tips From a Single Woman's Point of View Subtle flirting. Single women are intuitive and can pick up on subtle hints. We know when a guy is looking at us because he thinks we are attractive. We know when men want to ask us out. We know when men want to kiss us. We can "feel" these things. Men who realize this, do not feel they need to pressure us with sentences like these: "I've been watching you. I think you're really pretty. Um, well, if you're not busy Friday night, uh, I was wondering if you'd, um, like to do something." Instead, assume the woman knows these things. Clearly if you walk up to a complete stranger and begin talking, you think this person is attractive. Duh! Say something like this: "Would you like to dance? Would you like to go to the movies Friday night? Would you like to meet for lunch tomorrow?" Don't be scared to death and don't be overconfident...(i.e. "Do you want ot have sex?"). Be specific and to the point. As for the moment just before you kiss a woman, a simple, "I'm going to kiss you now" with a slight pause (so she can refuse, if she wants) is perfect. And just because a woman kisses you, it is not an invitation to grab her ass, her breasts, her anything else. Each part of a woman's body holds its own rules. Let the woman lead you when it comes to making out. In an age of date rape and feminism, you don't want to assume anything. If she wants you to touch her breast, she'll move your hand there or she will give you the go-ahead with what she does to you...if a woman rubs your ass, it's a pretty safe bet you can reciprocate. If a woman is not assertive enough to lead the making out, you shouldn't be making out with her in the first place. If she doesn't lead you to anything other than a kiss, be okay with that. If it's at 3rd base that she decides to stop, be okay with that too. Again, this is not a rejection of you. It is the boundaries that she has set to protect her conscience. Respect that.
Single lady giving advice on how to meet and attract single women I would like to share with you an email I received from a single lady giving advice on how to meet and attract single women. It's always nice to hear a woman's perpective and views on how to meet her. Here's her email exactly as I received it: Hi, I really enjoyed your introduction to your book (Basic Seduction) - I suppose it was rather improper of me as I am a single woman and wanted to know the techniques by men - so I would know when they were interested in me - I am lucky as I am considered attractive - and unfortunately that one attribute generally dictates who does the choosing as callous as it sounds. In my experience, I have found that no man should "hang around" for more than five minutes - no matter how good looking - the best approach is a joke - a semi clean joke memorize at least five - Go up to a girl and ask her if she thinks this joke is funny as a buddy said he could not stand it - Tell the joke - Hopefully she will giggle - then back off - tell her that she has given you encouragement. Now you are "buddies"...dont ask her to dance - get out of her space as quickly as you came into it - she now thinks of you as a friend - and not a threat. Now after a half an hour - travel back her way - If you have ANOTHER joke - do it now - if not - just casual conversation, such as, "I admire that perfume, may I inquire as to what it is? - my sister has been looking for a unique fragrance" - again, no sexual threats. If she keeps talking - great - you are home free - if she is still a little abrupt - leave her alone - It seems to me that a man using this slower approach has better chances than an aggressive man - but then who am I to say. Good luck on your wonderful accomplishments - you are providing a wonderful service - Jayda......
The ABC'S of Summer Dating As the weather warms, so too do our hearts and libidos. Many singles find themselves wanting a little romance to wile away the long summer nights. Dating isn't rocket science, and, counter to what the authors of books like "The Rules" may want us to believe, dating isn't a game of deceit and manipulation. Dating is simply an opportunity to go out and play with someone new. It doesn't have to raise our blood pressure, or lower our self-esteem. It won't make or break us. There is no standard of perfection upon which to measure our meager efforts. While we can certainly keep our eyes on the prize – a meaningful romantic relationship – dating shouldn't become an intellectualized effort to conquer or prevail. If we relax and let ourselves have a good time, dating can be as easy as A-B-C. What follows is some old-fashioned dating advice; something your mother might have whispered into your ear right before a ninth grade dance. Read it once, but don't write it down or memorize it. This is just a reminder that you learned your ABC's many years ago. You already know everything you need to know about dating.
Always Have Fun Unfortunately, dating has become an activity fraught with angst, frustration and performance anxiety. We are uptight, insecure, and meticulously analyze every detail, expecting to find answers in our heads, rather than our hearts. On a first date we worry about the impression we are making. Are we tall enough? Thin enough? Young enough? Hip enough? Since our self-assessments always seem to come up short, we carefully steer the email exchanges or face-to-face conversations in another direction, hoping to cover up our numerous failings and inadequacies. This misguided effort to control casual conversation ends up stifling it. As we strive to become the perfect date – the one with the right job, the right wardrobe, a stunning intellectual prowess and stellar conversational abilities – we lose some of the spontaneity, charm and personality that is uniquely ours and we aren't much fun. This is a step in the wrong direction because we are a better date and are perceived to be our most attractive when we are laughing and having a good time. And if we suppress who we are, then no one will see us. We must be seen to be known and to be loved. It is seldom our perfection, and more likely our humorous idiosyncrasies and imperfections that kindle the fires of chemistry. So to kindle your personal summer fires, loosen up and let yourself go. Here are some do's and don'ts for your next date: •
Do get out of your own head and stop analyzing every detail. If it helps to loosen you up, have a drink (just one). Pay attention to what you are feeling. Take deep breaths. Relax. Do drop your professional persona. Laugh. Flirt. Tease a little. Wear something decidedly unbusinesslike. Change your tone of voice. Be playful. 81
Don't self-censure. Share most of your thoughts and ideas as they come up. Take a conversational risk or two. Don't steer the conversation. Instead, see where it takes you. Don't over think every possible behavioral choice. Dating isn't chess. Go with your gut instinct and make a move. Do something fun and laugh a lot. Take your date rollerblading, or to the beach to fly a kite. Go see some stand-up comedy. Act as though your date was an old friend-someone you can count on to enjoy a good time.
Be Genuine We are all more impressive than we imagine, and few of us have to exaggerate our personal histories in order to shine. In fact, these efforts at embellishment can diminish us in the eyes of our romantic counterparts. Remember that people tend to be attracted to those with an intact sense of self. The quietly confident are perceived to be intriguing, even sexy. So leave well enough alone. Don't inflate your accomplishments or try to peddle a bill of goods to your date. We will all save each other a lot of time and unnecessary angst and ambiguity if we simply tell each other the truth. When we aren't attracted to someone who would like to pursue a romantic relationship, we should say so, privately and tactfully. Likewise, when we find someone interesting, beautiful, funny or intriguing, we should let that person know. Guessing games often have unhappy endings. Speak up. Ships do pass in the night, sometimes never to pass that way again. As we convey our interest in someone, we must do so in a non-demanding manner. It's unfair and manipulative to expect someone to reciprocate our feelings. When dating, tailored honesty is the best policy. This means that the truth we tell should be delivered in a context that is appropriate to the situation at hand. Here are some guidelines. •
Lose the pickup lines. Even when they come from a genuine desire to flatter someone, they are always obvious, are perceived as corny, and tend to label you as a "player." Avoid excessive disclosure. To tell the truth is important. To tell the whole truth, all at once on a first date can be overwhelming. Introduce your life gradually, over time. Ask for what you want. Don't beat around the bush or drop subtle hints. There is something very powerful and sexy about someone who knows what they want, and is willing to ask for it. Respect your date's truth. If she tells you she isn't ready for sexual intimacy, she isn't. If he tells you he isn't looking for marriage, believe him. Don't date someone you don't trust. That relationship won't take you anywhere you need to go.
Courage Means Fighting The Fear Finally, don't let dating scare you. We're supposed to make ridiculous mistakes, say stupid things and laugh with pieces of broccoli stuck in our teeth. We can't avoid every embarrassing, awkward or regrettable moment and successfully pursue a romantic life. The chances are good we will be turned down and burned now and then. We all get dumped, or chased by the wrong someone, and we all fall for the occasional cad in angel's clothing. There are a few heartbreaks out there with our names on them, just as there are some special people who will bring a light to our hearts and a laugh to our lives that will forever change us. Summer is upon us, and your romantic clock is once again ticking away to the rhythm of your heart. Time and opportunity wait for no one. In the scheme of all things mighty and insignificant, a bad date is no big deal, but giving up is catastrophic.
Asking a Woman Out Getting The First Date Getting that first date. Asking the girl or guy out. Actually talking to a girl or guy for the first time and so on.... The holy grail of terror. The worst consequence can be no more than no, rejection, NA-DA, next one please, thanks but no thanks. For many of us, you would think that date rejection is the same as life imprisonment, the electric chair or a slow painful death by fireants. Especially grown men who every day fight fires, subdue bad guys, tame wild animals, master mega corporations, jump out of airplanes or slay dragons, but cower in fear at the thought of asking the girl of their dreams out for a night. Here are some tips that may help you slay the dragon's fear of rejection. Tip 1: Expect rejection. It will happen. Think of it as fishing where you know you will have to put your line in the water many times, try many different baits and numerous fishing holes before you make a catch. Tip 2: When rejection occurs, do not take it personal. The most successful date makers laugh in the face of rejection and simply try again. If you gave up that easily in fishing, you would never catch anything. Tip 3: Pick you hunting grounds carefully. Do not expect high success rates in singles bars and dance clubs. The game is most wary in these places. Try normal, everyday, common places instead. Tip 4: Sincere is good. Appearing needy is bad. Do not try so hard. A slight air of nonchalant or independence has an attractive quality to it that appeals to the opposite sex. Tip 5: Expand your horizons. If you must date only the best looking guys or prettiest girls, your rejection rate is going to be much higher. The more you date, the more skilled you will become and besides, there is no known correlation between physical appearance and dates that are the most fun. Tip 5a: To the Guys. Many girls find it to be a positive trait in guys who date girls who are less than stunningly beautiful. This shows that you are sincere and not shallow.
Guys on the other hand, while not considering it necessarily negative, simply are unable to comprehend why beautiful girls would and do date less than the best looking guys. Guys usually think the reason is because it is because the guy either has lots of money or is exceptionally good in bed. Although those may be possible reasons, it usually does not occur to the male species, that females or more likely to consider other positive traits besides physical appearance. If guys would play by the same rules, they would get a whole lot more dates. Tip 6: Use pre-packaged pickup lines sparingly or not at all. When you do use them, put the sexual references back in the joke can. Instead of wasting your time on trite pick-up lines, think of instead of using conversational and situation icebreakers.
Ways to ask a girl out There are good ways and bad ways to ask a single girl out. The bad way to ask a girl out is, "Would you like to go out with me?" By saying this: • • • •
You set yourself up for rejection. She might say no. You imply that she would be doing you a favor by going out with you. You imply a formal date. You are making a move on her. The pressure is on her. If she says "no", you are never sure whether to ask her again for another time. Was it, "No, I don't want to go out with you," or "No, I want to go out with you but I'm busy that night." You literally sound like a junior high kid asking a girl out on his first date.
The right way to ask a single girl out is, "Let's get together and do something sometime". Memorize these words. By saying this, you give an impression of a casual meeting. No big deal. Friends getting to know each other. Not a formal date. If you say this, her response will let you know whether she wants to date you or not. If she is interested, she will respond in the positive, but also her tone will be positive. The expression on her face will be positive. She may even lead the conversation to making a specific time to do something. If you do get a positive response, you can either pursue the conversation and arrange to meet on a casual date or leave it until the next time you meet. You know she wants to get together and she will be waiting, now that you have teased her with talk of a date but offered no specific plans. You are being elusive and playing hard to get. Her anticipation works in your favor. If she does not want to go out with you, her verbal response may be "no" or it may even be "yes" to save your feelings, but her tone, her facial expression, and her desire to drop the subject will let you know she is not interested. Don't pursue it further.
The beauty of this exact phrase is: • • • • •
You are not set up for rejection. After all, you have not really asked her out. You've made a statement. You are throwing out an offer. The implication is that you are doing her a favor. She is not doing you a favor by going out with you. It implies a casual get-together to get to know each other, not a formal date. You know for sure whether she wants to date you or not. You aren't asking her. You are making a statement which says something about you. You are the type of person that likes to do things with friends, and of course she would like to participate. After all, there is no pressure. You are a confident, friendly, fun-loving person who is doing things.
Now re-read that phrase. "Let's get together and do something sometime." See how much better it is than asking a question that may get you a wrong answer?
Asking Someone Out On A Date Now, what's the best way to go about asking someone out on a date? Here's what NOT to do: "Would you like to go out with me?" This may sound like a logical way to express your interest in her but believe me, unless she already harbors a crush on you, it rarely works. This does two things. Firstly, it sets you up for rejection. It's easy for her to say "No, I'm not free." Not only is this very demoralizing, it will also make you lose confidence when asking other girls out to go dating. Secondly, you feel scared to ask her out because you know how easy it's for her to reject you. Bad flirting technique. The Magic Line Instead, why don't you say this line? It's proven to work. Memorize this opening line. Remember it. Never forget it. "Hey! I would really like to get together and do something with you sometime." Now, she can't say, "Sorry, I'm not free" (By far the most popular rejection line) because you haven't set the time yet. In fact, you have not even asked her for a date yet! Now is your chance to observe her reaction. If it's negative, forget about it. Remember, you haven't asked her out yet so you haven't been rejected! Using this method will protect you 86
from rejection and make you more confident the next time you try and ask a single woman out. But if she lights up and says "OK" or if she emits any one of the signals explained earlier, continue with: "You know, I would really like to go out with you when you're free. How about Lunch at Tony Romas on Tuesday?" Firstly, she can't say, "Sorry not free." simply because it'll make her sound like a complete idiot since she has already said that she would like to go out with you. By all means try saying it out aloud yourself. If she really is not free that day, simply ask her when she will be able to make it. Secondly, she has to be free sometime right? Using this proven technique will ensure that you score when asking single women out. Look, this method isn't fool proof. If she does not want to go out with you, there is no way you can force her to go out on a date. For example, one of the teens that read this book reported that when he used this line on a friend, she kept on saying that she was not free, although it did sound pretty awkward. It went something like this. Him: What about Saturday? Her: Not free. Him: Sunday? Her: I'm busy. Him: Next Saturday? Her: Sorry, I really cannot make it. He took the hint and ended the conversation. However, on the plus side, it is of interest to note that because he said "Hey! I would really like to get together and do something with you sometime" She had to reply with, "Okay, like what?" and he was never rejected outright. This is much less painful than having, "Would you like to go out?" answered with an outright, "No." Another method she could have used to dissuade him would be to explain that she already had a boyfriend. This method is best used when asking face to face. It might be easier for you to ask her out on the phone but remember, it is also easier for her to reject you on the phone as well. And never, ever, use ICQ (or any other instant messenger).
Week Nights VS Weekends Avoid asking a single girl out on a first date on a Saturday or Friday night. This is because if she is someone popular and much sought after, the odds of her being busy are so high that she may have to turn you down, even if she does want to go out with you on a date which creates feelings of uneasiness straight away. It indicates that you don't have a date for the weekend with someone else and therefore you may have trouble getting dates. The weekend implies formal dating, so the pressure to create a lasting relationship is there. The last thing you would want to do is scare her. If you do get the date, she would have to turn down other, perhaps more desirable offers because of her commitment to you, and go into the evening regretting having to turn down others. After all, she has no way of knowing whether she is going to have fun or not. On the other hand, if you ask her out during the week, you imply that you are busy on the weekend. In other words, you have an active social life. The chances of her being free are greater. Week nights imply casual dating, a good atmosphere to get to know her. And you have turned a dull weeknight into a good time for her.
Ending The Date Whenever you go dating, you will often encounter that dreadful time when your date announces that she has to get back. Often, this period will be full of tension as both of you are unsure of what to say. It is of utmost importance that you avoid this awkward period by announcing to your date, when the date is still going well, that you "...hate to end the evening because you've had such a great time, but it is getting late and..." This will surely take her by surprise since most people, and certainly most of her former boyfriends would try and hang on, hoping to get "lucky". By ending the date, you: Set yourself apart from her ex-boyfriends, giving yourself a sort of "rarity value". Maintain control of the date throughout, even till the end, thus increasing your confidence level. Give the clear message that you are not desperate for action, so she will have to step up her efforts if she wants to seduce you. Taking Stock If this is your first date, you should assess how the date went. Answer these three questions truthfully and honestly: Did the date go well at all? Did you have fun? If not, why? Lack of communication maybe? Stage fright? What? Did she enjoy it? This you can easily tell from the vibes you get from her. Do you want to go out again? Answer this honestly and truthfully. Remember, you're not obliged to go out on a second date. Neither is she. Now's the perfect time to ask if she would like to go out again. A good way to express your interest in seeing her again would be, "You know, I enjoyed myself very much this evening and I would really like to see you again. There's something very special about you I noticed you the second I first saw you. You have a very unique face that's so exotic I can't explain it. You're more than just attractive. There's something very unique and original about your look." Just say this to your date and watch her reaction. I can guarantee you her face will light up with a smile and she will radiate warmth towards you. If she does not want to go out again, she will probably say something like, "You're a really nice guy but I don't think this will work out between us." Don't push your luck.
She's already gone out with you and drained your money so don't throw more money down the drain.
Places to go Great First Dates First dates are rough. You have to risk embarrassment, obsess over fresh breath, and sometimes even foot the bill for dinner and a movie. Ouch! We feel your pain. Here's the good news: a first date doesn't have to be a pins and needles experience. It doesn't even have to cost very much, as you'll see. I've hounded some very good friends and gotten them to cough up their best first dates. We hope they inspire you. But first, here are some guidelines for a planning a first date. • •
Make it short. If there's no chemistry, you don't want to be stuck with someone all day. Choose an activity that can be accomplished in two or three hours. For the same reason, don't go somewhere so isolated that you can't take off when you've had enough. Forget about that all-day cruise around the city, for example. If the date isn't going well, your only recourse is to jump overboard. If you're self-conscious about your bod, keep your clothes on during a first date. Do you really need to show your potential partner all the merchandise immediately? Unless you're completely confident about your body (and who really is?), choose an activity in which you don't have to strip down to participate. Stay away from beaches and pools. Hey, to be on the safe side, avoid any body of water.
Great Dates Elizabeth: "On our first date, my boyfriend took me hiking and packed a lunch with all my favorite foods. It was totally sweet considering that he went out and bought the ingredients to make my favorite sandwich (none of which were on his usual grocery list): tomato, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, and Swiss cheese on whole wheat bread." Why it's a great date: Hiking is not only great exercise, it's a low-cost activity, and the quiet and privacy of being out on a trail provides a perfect environment to get to know someone. And picnics are always romantic. What's the takeaway: While hiking can be a great first date, all that privacy might not be a great idea if it's a blind date or a date with someone who isn't already part of your social scene. Use common sense before heading out into the woods with a complete
stranger! Make sure someone knows where you're going and whom you're going with. And don't forget the sunscreen. Marc: "For our first date, I took the woman I would eventually marry to a Dodger Game. Summer nights in L.A. are the best, and taking in views of the downtown skyline at sundown while watching America's favorite pastime is pretty close to perfection. Add the crucial first date element of being with someone who was already a great friend (but we both knew that there was something more than a friendship going on), and you've got the makings of a great date. Let's do the numbers: 9 innings, 4 beers, 2 Dodger dogs and a couple of ice cream bars sealed the deal. [Side note: at the time she was a practicing vegetarian, but that night I coaxed her into trying her first Dodger Dog. P.S. she's been eating meat ever since.]" Why it's a great date: A sporting event provides great people watching and a guaranteed source of conversation if you find yourself tongue-tied. What's the takeaway: Even a ball game can be romantic if you're with the right person. Vanessa: "I once spent Valentine's Day at the Huntington Gardens in San Marino, CA. [a 207-acre estate, museum, and botanical garden] with a date. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and we ended up soaked and freezing cold from walking around in the rain. It might have been a disaster, but there was a surprise payoff: afterwards, we ended up in front of a fireplace, getting all warm and cozy." Why it's a great date: Sometimes it's fun to be a tourist in your hometown. Instead of letting the out-of-town relatives have the local attractions to themselves, why not check out the tourist sites that are right under your nose? What's the takeaway: Check the weather report. Isaac: "Go to an amusement park." Why it's a great date: Scary rides provide ample opportunities for spontaneous cuddling. Plus, you might spot Micky or Goofy. What's the takeaway: Singles aren't the only ones who enjoy amusement parks. Try to schedule your date on an off-peak day or time, or you risk ending up sweltering on a never-ending line, silently resenting each other. Jennifer: "When I was in college, this cute skater asked me to make dinner with him at his place. We shopped for all the food together, and I helped him make a gourmet veggie pasta dish. We ate by candlelight on the floor of his living room, and afterwards, we climbed on his roof with a bottle of wine to watch the stars. Although we didn't turn out to be lovers for life, we did get in a couple months of wine on his roof (among other things)."
Why it's a great date: When you cook dinner together, you can hide any awkward silences by chopping those carrots a little harder or stirring the pasta sauce. And you get a chance to check out your date's CD collection. What's the takeaway: The only drawback to these kinds of dates is your proximity to a bedroom. Add a little wine and some good music on the stereo, and it's all too easy to end up horizontal, even if you hadn't planned on it. Jenny: "My first date with my present boyfriend took place at the hospital. We were with a bunch of friends skateboarding and I thought I was cool, so I attempted an olly and broke my arm. He stayed with me all night. Boom! I fell in love." Why it's a great date: Group activities are a low-pressure way to get to know someone. What's the takeaway: Wear protective gear.
The Top 10 Places to Take Single Women on a First Date If you really want to impress single women on a first date and make her fall for you, take her on a unique date she will never forget. By being unique and creative, you'll stand out among the other guys she's dated and she will want to be with you again and again. Just keep taking a single woman you're attracted to on one fun and creative date after another and she's bound to fall for you and want to make mad passionate love to you. Try it. It works! Here's a gold mine of creative dating ideas for taking women on a first date that will make a lasting impression make them crave to be with you: Amusement Parks - This really makes for a fun date, especially if you both enjoy thrill-seeking rides such as roller coasters, etc. Also, don't forget to try and win her a teddy bear or other keepsake. Dinner at Your Place - One of my favorite things to do is to invite a date over for a candlelight steak dinner and champagne. I do all the cooking and wait on my date hand and foot. I really make my date feel special. So, if you really want to make someone feel special and have a romantic evening, do this for a very special date. Dinner Theatre - There's nothing like good entertainment while you're eating. Your date will really be impressed and this is one of my top choices to take a date to. Kite Flying - Stop by any toy store and pick up a kite and go on a kite date. Head for your local park, beach, or any wide open space. Kites are 92
not just for kids. It's a fun experience for all ages and it's kind of romantic. So, get your date and go fly a kite. Moonlight Strolls - When there's a full moon and clear skies, head for any lake or seashore. It's so romantic to take your shoes off and wade along the shore with the full moon gleaming on the water. Romantic Restaurants - If you really want to make a good impression on your date, take her to a cozy and romantic restaurant. It's even better if they have a piano bar or live entertainment or soft music, dim lighting, roaring fireplaces, scenic views while you're eating, etc. So, spice up your love-life or impress a date by going to a romantic restaurant. Theatre (Live) - Most larger towns offer live theatre performances that can be just as good as a Broadway play in New York City. Attending live theatre on a date ranks at the top of the list for things to do on a date in my opinion. Zoo - A popular and enjoyable way to spend the day on a date. Picnics - This is tops on my list for first dates. Just bring a bottle of wine, cheese and crackers, or even better just pick up some fried chicken and potato salad. Don't forget the blanket and radio! Cruises - If there are any cruises in your area (riverboat, dinner cruises, yacht cruises, gambling cruises, sunset cruises, or just any kind of cruise) don't pass up this opportunity for one of the best ways to impress single women on a first date.
Cheap Dates: 10 Ways to Impress Her on a Dime So Uncle Sam paid a visit and left you strapped for cash. Now without that extra coin, you say you’re out of the dating scene? Buck up little camper! You couldn’t be more wrong. It doesn’t take a wad of cash to wow a gal. What’s required is a good ole dose of genuine interest to get our hearts pounding. And the best way to do that is with a little careful planning on your part. A touch of romance is key, and that’s typically available for a very low price. So stash that wallet, find your datebook, and get ready for love! Get Fresh Together - Grab your date’s hand and make your way down the aisle (no, not THAT aisle). Not only does the farmer’s market offer fun while shopping for fresh produce (a truly entertaining combination), it’s got the makings for a great dinner date. Fill up the fridge for less than 20 bucks and retire your date in the recliner while you do your best damage in the kitchen. The spicier the better! Hit the Trails - By bike or by boot, taking to the dirt makes for a great workout AND a great date. Work up a sweat together and explore the great outdoors. For the truly adventurous and advanced, seek out more secluded trails and discover a little animal attraction! Bowl Her Over - For sheer entertainment value, there’s little that beats watching your loved one heave a hefty 12-pounder at a pile of pins. Strut your stuff down the lane and have a laugh at the new, unique positions each of you discover. Get the balls rolling! Sing a Song - It costs little or nothing to stand in front of strangers and belt your best impersonation of Elvis, Abba or any other Karaoke favorite. Take turns singing popular solo selections, opt for a couple duets, and end the evening with a slow serenade. Alternate: take to the dance floor and discover swing, salsa and disco together. Sun of a Beach - You needn’t live on the coast to enjoy the water. Even us landlocked folks have access to local beaches on the lake. Strap on those sandals, load up a few snacks, and spend a day on the sand with your loved one. Don’t Forget the Standbys - A trip to the zoo, aquarium, or museum offers hours of entertainment at minimal cost. Best for afternoon gettogethers, you’ll score extra points if you bone up on relevant trivia before going (mating season for monkeys, lifespan of the seahorse, the latest controversial display).
Make a Racquet - Take to the tennis courts and bounce those balls around. Lack of athletic ability is no excuse - it takes little talent to lob a yellow ball back and forth. Bonus: awkward attempts to reach the tough shots will help to melt the ice. Rough It - No need for fancy sleeping bags and pricey tents when camping (Hint: that’s why it’s called roughing it). Take your date to the nearest lake and stake your claim on a prime camping spot. Start a fire, sizzle up a few snacks, and spend a little quality time under the stars. (Don’t forget to put that fire out!) Park it - Grab the hacky-sack, Frisbee, softball and mitts. Then make a day of it at your local park. Fresh air, a few rays, lots of action, and - more than likely - plenty of laughs. What could make for a better date? How about a blanket and beverages for a little after-play rest and relaxation. Dine Out - Surprise is a key element here, as is timing. Wait until nightfall when the moon is full and the stars are bright. Light a few candles and grill up your gal’s favorite outdoor dinner. Blindfold those baby blues, then lead her to a night of outdoor seduction! The fuller the moon the better!
Things to do 10 Best Things to Do on a First Date to Attract Single Women Read the newspaper and listen to the news on the day of your date. This will give you some good topics for conversation. Before going on your date, rehearse telling some funny stories. Single women are attracted to men who can make them laugh. Act like you are genuinely interested in what she is saying. Even to the point when you have to fake it. She will be impressed that you're such a good listener. Don't act too serious. Act carefree and light-hearted and don't give a long and boring monologue about yourself. You will be judged on how you look and your behavior. So, wear your best-looking clothes and be immaculately groomed. And be on your very best behavior! You may not think this is fair, but a lot of single women will judge you by the way that you tip. Always tip generously, especially on your first date. This will make a very favorable impression on her. If you leave a cheap tip or even worse, no tip at all, she will judge you as a cheap person. Also, if she has ever been a waitress, she will really look down on you for tipping cheaply or not at all. Waiters and waitresses depend heavily on good tips to make a decent living. Revolve most of your conversation around her interests, hobbies, career, goals, vacations, etc. Forget about yourself and focus on her. Act as if you've known her all of your life. This will make her feel comfortable around you. Also, it will make you feel comfortable and help eliminate any first date nervousness or anxiety on your part. Be sure and bring your business card with you and give it to her at the end of the date. It will make her feel that she's important to you. Maintain good eye contact throughout the date and wear a smile on your face. A good smile has a very seductive effect on single women.
The Dating Process - Date Behavior The purpose of a first date is to get a second date. When you invite a single woman out for an evening it is like throwing a small party where she is the only guest. You are responsible for everything. She is only expected to show up and look gorgeous. Be a man of decision. Think James Bond. While you don't have every minute planned, there is a definite flow to the evening. You don't have to reveal everything, you just need to act as though you have everything under control. Make careful plans and execute Always make reservations. Are you eating at a place that doesn't take them? Eat somewhere else. Do you know exactly what time that movie starts? Will there be a line, because it's opening night? Pick up tickets ahead of time if possible. How long does it take to drive to that party? She needs to know exactly what time you will pick her up. SHOW UP ON THE DOT. If you are too early, she will not be ready. If you show up late, she is all dressed up with no where to go and nothing to do and you're an idiot - bad start.
How to Successfully Date Women You've chosen a girl who is interested in you. You've met her or already know her. You come now to that phase of a relationship affectionately referred to as "dating." Just as in any other phase of the relationship, you are being judged. But since you are now going to be spending hours together, the pressure is really on. We have a lot of good tips to make your dates a success. Tip #1 - There are good ways and bad ways to ask a girl out. The bad way to ask a girl out is, "Would you like to out with me?" By saying this: You set yourself up for rejection. She might say no. You imply that she would be doing you a favor by going out with you. You imply a formal date. You are making a move on her. The pressure is on her.
If she says "No," you are never sure whether to ask her again for another time. Was it, "No, I don't want to go out with you," or "No, I want to go out with you but I'm busy that night." You literally sound like a junior high kid asking a girl out on his first date. The right way to ask a girl out is, "Let's get together and do something sometime." Memorize these words! By saying this, you give the impression of a casual meeting. No big deal. Friends getting to know each other. Not a formal date. If you say this, her response will let you know whether she wants to date you or not. If she is interested, she will respond in the positive, but also her tone will be positive. The expression on her face will be positive. She may even lead the conversation to making a specific time to do something. If you do get a positive response, you can either pursue the conversation and arrange to meet on a casual date or leave it until the next time you meet. You know she wants to get together and she will be waiting, now that you have teased her with talk of a date but offered no specific plans. You are being elusive and playing hard to get. Her anticipation works in your favor. The beauty of using this exact phrase is: You are not set up for rejection. After all, you have not really asked her out. You've made a statement. You are throwing out an offer. The implication is that you are doing her a favor. She is not doing you a favor by going out with you. It implies a casual get-together to get to know each other, not a formal date. You know for sure whether she wants to date you or not. You aren't asking her. You are making a statement which says something about you. You are the type of person that likes to do things with friends, and of course she would like to participate. After all, there is not pressure. You are a confident, friendly, fun-loving person who is doing things. Now re-read that phrase. "Let's get together and do something sometime." See how much better it is than asking a question that may get you a wrong answer? Tip #2 - If possible, avoid asking a girl out for the first time for a Friday or Saturday night. Why?: The odds of her being busy are high so she may have to turn you down, which creates bad vibes right off.
It tells her that you don't have a date for the weekend with someone else so you may have trouble getting dates. The weekend implies formal dating, so the pressure is on. If you do get the date, she may have to turn down other offers because of her commitment to you, and go into the evening regretting having to turn down others. After all, she has no way of knowing whether she is going to have a good time with you or not. On the other hand, if you ask her out during the week: You imply that you are busy on the weekend. In other words, you are involved with other girls. The odds of her being available are greater. Weeknights imply casual-no pressure, a good atmosphere to get to know her. You have turned a dull weeknight into a good time for her - good vibes right off the bat. Tip #3 - How many times should you ask a girl out for a date before you give up? A friend mine told me that he would ask a girl three times before he would give up. Why he arbitrarily picked three, I don't know. Probably because in baseball you get three strikes before you are out. Our rule of thumb is once. If she legitimately has other plans and wants to do something with you, she will communicate this. "Oh, I'd love to, but I just can't. I can make it some other time..." If she is uninterested, she will make herself unavailable. In this case, drop it. You only make matters worse for yourself if you pursue it. Tip #4 - People go on dates to have a good time - not to be serious. Keep this in mind when you plan the activities. Make sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared to be "up" and positive for the date. Tip #5 - Make the first dates with a girl casual. You may even do something during the day rather than in the evening. Save formal dates for later on when you are more comfortable with her. Most men do the opposite. Formal dates at first, and then as the relationship develops, the dates become more and more casual. This can imply to the girl that she is being taken for granted. Tip #6 - For the first dates, try to go for spontaneous, informal gatherings, rather than dates arranged days in advance. Example: "By the way, some friends are coming over for dinner tonight. It's very informal. Come and join us." If she can't you say, "That's too bad. You'd have enjoyed it.
Maybe some other time." If she does join you, you are in a great position to present your best side to her. Tip #7 - Make sure your body language is inviting to her during the date and not a turnoff. Your eye contact and closeness should be open to her, but not crowding or threatening. Again, if she is having a good time, she will be open to contact. Remember, women enjoy sensuality. Tip #8 - Have every detail of the date planned, but make it seem spontaneous. Try to go somewhere familiar to you so you'll know what to expect. Even go to movies you've seen before so you know it's a good one. Tip #9 - End the date before she does. Example: The evening is winding down. It's pretty obvious that you aren't going to "get lucky" this night, but you hang on until the bitter end hoping that the chance in a million shot will come through. Wrong! Instead you alertly perceive that the evening is still going well and positive, so you politely explain that you have to go, assure her that you had a great time, and tell her you'll have to get together again. Take her home and say, "good night." Most men seem to think that if they prolong the date enough, they'll get the girl in bed. As the evening drags on, the mood of the date starts to drop and the girl ends up having to announce it's time for her to go. By ending the date before she does, you surprise her and set yourself apart. You imply that you are hard to get, and not desperate. And believe me, if the girl is interested in going to bed, you'll know it. She will make her interest known to you. So if she hasn't given you the signals, better for you to make your exit and beat her at her own game. She'll be giving you the signals someday soon. Tip #10 - A friend of mine that is a very quick thinker told me this story: He was out with a girl and throughout the evening it was obvious that she had no intention of going to bed with him. Convincingly, she gave the impression that she thought she was a real hot item and the type that enjoyed saying "no" to men. So he let the evening run its course and when he drove into her driveway (just when things would be awkward), he said, "By the way, may I use your phone?" Then, he came into her house, went to the phone, faked a phone call (making sure that she could not hear the conversation), hung up the phone, walked past her to the door as if he had somewhere to go, and said, "I enjoyed the evening. See you again." He said that she stood in the doorway watching him leave in disbelief. She, of course, was thinking that he was bored with her, called another girl, and was going to see her. He said it was the only way he could think of to get out of the situation with his dignity. The lesson, of course, is when the handwriting is on the wall, and there is no future with a girl, cut your losses and get out as cleanly as you can. Hanging around, for at best a good night kiss, isn't worth the loss of your dignity.
Tip #11 - Don't forget that you are on trial. Always be aware of your image. Be aware of how she is perceiving you.
Dating Tips to Help You Succeed With Single Women •
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Regarding "pick-up lines," unless the lines are well-executed, no pick-up line in the world will achieve the desired results. Timing and demeanor are critical factors. You need to keep girls guessing. Don't give them too much, too quickly about yourself. Be aware that some single women will play hard-to-get intentionally, because they don't want to appear to be too easy. Always do everything you can to make a women feel special. Also, tell her she's very special. Single women love to feel wanted, respected, and appreciated. The more you try to pick up single women the more used to it you'll become. This will help you gain confidence and practice makes perfect. Don't ever assume because a woman looks like she's right out of the pages of Playboy that she has a boyfriend. This is not necessarily true and if she is seeing someone, maybe it's not serious or she's not happy with him. Don't overlook average-looking single women. They are a lot of fun and they can become quite beautiful in your own eyes once you get to know them. Always remember that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Attractive single women get complimented all the time about how beautiful they are. Be a little different and compliment her on things she's not used to hearing such as: eyebrows, nose, ears, kissable lips, eyes, dimples, fingernails, etc.
Remember that single women get horny too. Some single women are looking for sex too. If they haven't had sex in awhile they crave sex. Maybe you'll be the luck guy that satisfies their sexual needs!
The Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips to Impress Single Women When on a Dining Date 1. Whatever you do, don't use curse words in your dining conversations. This can really turn women off and can even spoil your chances for dating her again and your potential relationship goes right down the drain. 2. Don't bring your cell phone on your dining date. You don't want any interruptions and you want to give her your undivided attention. Also, you may mistakenly think that cell phones impress women by thinking that you are a important businessman or something. The women are going to be impressed by how you treat them, not because you have a cell phone. 3. I highly recommend that you bring some dental floss and tic tacs with you on your date. After you complete your meal, excuse yourself and go to the restroom and floss your teeth and take a breath mint. The reason for this is that you don't want any food stuck on your teeth while talking to her (this can be very embarrassing and you won't even be aware of it and of course you don't want to have bad breath either. 4. Don't bore your date by constantly talking about yourself, what material possessions you have, important people you know, your fancy car, your money, etc. In other words, stay away from your ego trip, just focus on her and revolve your conversation around her and her interests. 5. Never bite your nails while you are dining. 6. Please, whatever you do, don't light up a cigar while you are eating. It will not only turn her off, but will annoy other patrons with the foul odor of a cigar. 7. Refrain from chewing gum while dining. 8. When asked how you are doing. Always reply, "I'm doing great, how about yourself?" Don't reply with how bad you are feeling or discussing any ailments. 9. If there are other people in your party, be sure and include them in your conversations. In other words, don't ignore the other people at your table, especially if they are her friends. 10. Whenever she reaches for a cigarette, be sure and light it for her.
The Importance Of Eye Contact They say the eyes are mirrors to the soul. And you can use the power of eye contact to seduce and attract single women with your eyes by simply following the simple guidelines listed below. Winking while smiling coyly gives an unmistakable come-hither look. You could also gaze deeply into her eyes while talking to her to make your words seem that much more personal. To show that you agree with her occasionally raise and lower your eyebrows. The beauty about using eye contact is that even though you are not paying attention, you will see like you are listening and hanging on to her every word. When she is the one talking, it is important to listen with your eyes (maintaining eye contact) so that she does not get the impression that you are not interested in what she has to say. If you look away, you may signify, "I'm bored" or "I don't agree." The result will usually be a short conversation lacking substance, leaving both parties unsatisfied. Caution When Using Eye Contact Be cautious lest your attempts at eye contact be misunderstood. Avoiding eye contact can make both parties feel uncomfortable. If you avert your eyes out of shyness, you may be misinterpreted as saying, "I'm not being totally open with you" or "I'm not interested in you." Too much eye contact is as bad as too little since it is impolite to stare. As a rule of thumb, you should not look steadily at a woman for longer than a few seconds - unless she gives him "permission" with a smile, a backward glance, or a direct meeting of eyes. If this happens, do not "chicken out" and turn away, you might dishearten her. Instead, smile and mouth a "hi". When a man looks steadily without smiling, women may think, "He's undressing me with his eyes." So smile. If you roll your eyes upward, she might think you are yawning, "Ho hum!" and are not interested in what she has to say. If you glare at someone under arched eyebrows, most women will hear you growl: "I'm angry".
Pampering Her When being seated don't allow them to place you in "bad" spots such as noisy areas, next to the restrooms, by the front or back door, areas with a bad atmosphere, etc. Tell the waiter who is seating you, very politely, "Is it possible if we can sit somewhere else, perhaps in the corner, there?" If he says, "no," don't bother arguing and making a scene. Use your napkin to swipe the area around your mouth every few minutes in case some glob of food remains. If a piece of food happens to have gotten itself stuck on the chin or near the mouth of your date, here is your chance. Don't just tell her that something is on her face, remove it for her with a clean napkin or serviette. Do this only if you feel confident enough with her. The aim of all these actions is to pamper her and make a good impression on her. If you are at a classy restaurant, you should order for your date. Ask her in advance what she wants and when the waiter or waitress comes, order for her. This makes a good impression on women and lets you remain in control throughout. Be sure to leave at least a 15% tip (unless the service is bad). Single women will judge you on your tipping habits. If you are cheap it can make a bad impression on them. don't whip out a pen and paper or calculator to calculate the tip, it could leave an impression on her that you are "cheap." Here's an easy way to do it mentally. Let's say that your bill comes to $51.20. Move the decimal point one place to the left ( this will come to $5.12 which is 10% of the bill). Now divide $5.12 by 2 which will give you $2.56. Now add $5.12 + $2.56 = $7.68 in your head and this will give you a 15% tip. If the price is a bit too steep, please don't complain, it will only make you look cheap.
What To Do On Your First Date So you've asked her out. She said yes. Now what? The most popular way of starting out on your first date, is by going to a movie. Some experts argue that movies inhibit social interaction between the two parties leading to a break in communication. In other words, both of you don't talk much. That much is true. Holding a conversation in a cinema is downright rude. That's why a movie date must be accompanied by having a meal somewhere so that you can make eye contact and talk. Some words of advice regarding the type of movie to watch. On this first date, or on any first date, the way to decide which movie to watch is like this. Tell her, "What movie would you like to see? I'm open to suggestions There's this good movie in town, Saving Private Ryan, why don't we go and see it on our date tomorrow." Believe me, this saves loads of complications afterwards. Rule of thumb: Don't choose cheap horror flicks, adult movies (NEVER choose adult xxx movies) and movies which critics say suck. Choose romantic comedies or Disney animated movies instead. You should always book the tickets or risk having a miserable first date. Food For Thought Depending on your schedule, you should strive to eat only after the movie. This way, you can talk about the movie when both of you are eating should conversation dry up. Another option would be to eat first and after the movie, stop for coffee and ice cream somewhere. For the first date, you should never choose one of those fast food joints like Macdonald's or Taco Bell. Go to a family restaurant. These are generally classier and quieter so you can talk undisturbed. They may be more expensive but remember, you need to make a good first impression. Fast food outlets give the impression that you are cheap. The average meal there should cost $15 so for the whole outing, don't expect to spend more than $50, movie tickets and pop corn included. Remember, you want to make a good first impression, not drive yourself bankrupt. Just to be sure, bring at least a hundred bucks. Other Options You could of course, do other things on your first date besides seeing a movie. The reason I would recommend you watch a movie on your first date is because the cinema is the easiest way for both of you to have fun. 105
One option would be to go roller blading or cycling. A fun outing, be sure to bring along drinks and the proper clothing. (tights, shorts etc.) Another thing you could do on your first date would be to attend a concert or classical performance. These events do require more formality in terms of dressing and are generally more expensive.
Conversation Conversation Pitfalls to Avoid When Talking to Single Women When talking about things that excite and interest you, here are some pitfalls you'll want to avoid: Don't dominate the conversation with your own enthusiasms. Be sensitive to how much time you devote to your own subject without hearing again from the other person. It's alright to let her know what turns you on, but be aware that she may not necessarily want to hear everything you have to say about that topic. Avoid Jargon or technical terms when discussing topics with her and she isn't familiar with the subject. You can give her an inside look at what excites you about the topic, rather than overly specific details. Be careful not to lecture or try to "sell" her on what you believe in, regardless of how strongly you believe in it or how important you feel it is. She may want to learn more about a subject that interests you, but they don't necessarily wish to be converted to your point of view. Don't tell personal secrets in the early stages of a friendship with a woman. Of course, it's flattering to her to be told something confidential, but if this is early on in a friendship, the person is likely to think, "If he tells me such personal things right off, he probably tells everyone." Wait until the time is right, and you've established trust. Don't try to override her point of view with your superior knowledge of a subject. Be receptive to her point of view and listen to what she has to say. Then, when it's your turn to give your opinion, she will be more receptive and open to your ideas.
How to Talk to Single Women When on a Date When you're out on your first date with a single woman, it's quite natural to ask questions to get to know her better. However, there's an art to asking questions and I will teach you how.
Here's what not to do, which will make a bad impression on your date. Whatever you do, don't ask one question after another. This will make her feel like she is being interrogated or interviewed for a job. The best way to ask questions is to let her answer, then add additional comments and conversation around her answer. In other words, make her answer a topic of conversation. Then you can weave in some more questions using the same technique. Using this technique will be non-threatening and not so obtrusive. Plus, she will admire your conversational skills by you expressing interest in her answers.
A Good Talk/Listen Ratio A good talk/listen ratio would be around 40/60 or 30/70. That is, you want to spend around 30 or 40 percent of the time talking, and about 60 to 70 percent of the time listening. And you should spend as much of that 30 to 40 percent as possible in the "metoo zone." Think about it this way... Let's assume you just went on a dinner date with a lady you like very much. If you monopolized the conversation and spent most of the time telling her how "wonderful" you are, you can pretty much expect there won't be a second date. I hope you can understand this. On the other hand, imagine you'd spent the entire two hours together sitting there, listening, and asking her questions. You probably did much better. She did seem happy. She did seem to enjoy the conversation. But still... After the date she's going to go home and think about the date. And she's going to think about you. She's going to think about whether she should spend more time with you or not. The fact that you haven't said much of anything all evening is going to be your downfall... because she has nothing to think about. You haven't told her anything about yourself. She still has no idea if she should be interested in you or not. She knows you don't monopolize the conversation and you're a good listener. And she likes that. But that's not enough to spark any kind of emotion in her. Listening To Her
Now imagine you'd spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to her (really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two of you seem very similar. This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink, and starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she's going to have something substantial to think about. She's going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your childhood, or the health of your colon. And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how similar the two of you are, she's going to think that you are very special. (After all, you're just like her. You must be.) People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable... because you're like me. It's true that opposites do sometimes attract. But only under certain situations. On the other hand, similars almost always attract. You should always go for the similarity angle during the first part of a relationship. You'll can reveal to her your "unique" qualities later. And don't worry or feel cheated because you don't get to talk about the things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right during the first few conversations or dates, you'll have plenty of time later on to bore her with all your "interesting" stories. The first few conversations (dates) are critical and you have to "play" them right. That means listening for free info, asking interested questions, and making "me too" statements. It's a simple 1, 2, 3.
Conversing For Maximum Attraction By golly, you've actually met a woman. Maybe you're in bar. Maybe you're at the gym or Laundromat. Maybe she's someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you're actually out on a date. In any event, now you've got to do something scary, something unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end one before it even gets started. 109
You've Got To Talk To Her What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can't think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right" thing to say? Do you have a clue? Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman, he's basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will "connect" with the woman and make her fall for him. Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things. You need to have a plan. You need to know what definitely works and what doesn't, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don't want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.
Advice on Asking Single Women Personal Questions Most single women expect to answer easy, straight-forward questions when they first meet guys. Such questions are part of the ritual of becoming acquainted. What's more, she's likely to be complimented by your show of genuine interest. From initial, impersonal topics, you can go on to discuss personal backgrounds and interests. By exchanging details about yourselves, you can get to know each other quickly - and determine if you'd like to pursue the contact, perhaps. I would advise you to not ask too many questions. You are not interviewing her and if you continuously ask one question after another, she will tire of your questions and lose interest in you. Just keep your conversation with her flowing and after you ask her a question, focus your conversation towards her answers. Don't follow it up with just another question. When might a question be too personal? Practice will help you develop sensitivity to what sort of questions single women are glad to answer in various stages of a relationship. If you have any doubts about whether a question is appropriate, preface it with a statement like: "May I ask if....?" or "If you don't mind telling me...." or "I hope I'm not being too personal...." If she doesn't feel pressured to reply, they'll usually respond cordially to the extent they're comfortable.
What To Say? And that's what we're going to discuss right now. Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular chapter focuses on the conversational topics that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost guarantee increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the option, if you desire, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic relationship. Are you getting excited? Okay, so what exactly do you talk about? Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently get it wrong by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're "impressing" the women when, in reality, they're "depressing" the women. Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you're saying doesn't necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back. So key number one is don't talk too much! Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to listen to what she has to say. Almost everyone is incredibly interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves for as long as you will listen.
Kissing Art of Kissing Single Women on Your First Date At the end of a first date comes that awkward moment when you must decide if you want to kiss her or not. Also, if you do kiss her it had better be good to make a favorable impression. It may not be fair, but some single women will judge you on your first kiss as to whether she would be attracted to you want to date you again. In other words, she must feel some chemistry when she kisses you. If you are a lousy kisser, then you're going to be a failure at creating good chemistry between you and your date. Is chemistry important on a first date? You bet it is! And if you're a great kisser, you're going to turn her on and have an edge on the other guys that date her that are lousy kissers. So, just exactly what makes a good kisser and kisses that single women that you go out with won't forget? The key is to be soft and gentle and follow her lead...that's all there is to it. If you really want to turn her off and blow your chances for more romance and future dates with her, do these things: • •
Drooling all over her mouth while kissing. Women don't like wet or sloppy kisses. While kissing, you keep your lips stiff and rigid. You've got to keep your lips soft and sensuous. She needs to be able to feel your lips. If they are hard as a rock it will feel like kissing a rock to her. Keeping your lips closed. Please guys, open your lips! Women don't enjoy kissing just a slit on a guys face. And most importantly, don't be stingy with your tongue. Give it to her and play tongue hockey with her. Let her suck on your tongue if that's what she likes. Whatever you do, don't try to gag her with your tongue. Just use it gently and don't try to stick it down her throat. If you don't know how to kiss properly, I would suggest practicing on the back of your hand. Pretend that you are kissing a hot & sexy beautiful woman that you're dying to become intimate with. You could also practice kissing yourself on the mirror.
In closing, if you really want to succeed with single women in the love and romance department, you must be a good kisser.
How To Go About Kissing Her Yes, kissing is an art form. The kissing experience is different for each of us but the basic fundamentals of kissing remain the same. The first step in kissing is known as "Getting into position". The second step is called "Finding her comfort level" and the last step, the last step… well, I leave that to your imagination. Getting Into Position Now, there are many ways of getting into a good position for a satisfying kissing session. The keyword here is flexibility. If you are driving her home, it is a good idea to get out of your driver’s seat, walk over to the other side, open the passenger door, and accompany her to her porch/apartment door. If she declines, just tell her that, "I just want to see you up safely". That saves face. Finding Her Comfort level This involves gauging whether she is ready for the kiss. Remember, there are always other options. You could avoid kissing altogether: a little gesture to remember the occasion with, a nice bow with a flourish, a good handshake (although personally, it feels really weird shaking your date’s hand. A pat on the shoulder perhaps, but a handshake!?) Well, I guess it is a matter of taste, really, a wave goodbye, a gentle caress of her cheek. You could make it a neutral kiss: throw her a kiss, kiss her hand, kiss her cheek, a quick peck, kiss your finger and touch it to her lips. And of course, there's the kiss. If you are going to tell her you are going to call her just to have something to say, do remember to call. Most men do this (Even I am guilty of this one. Never mind, it just means she will call me and gripe about it. At least then we will have something to talk about) and it drives girls crazy because guys never do call. But I digress. Now, back to the kissing stuff… When you are alone with her on her porch/door, place your arm around her in a gentle, non-threatening way. If she does not cringe away from you or push your arm off her, you can proceed to the next step. Next lean your head against hers, appearing to rest it.
She should do the same. Then take your hand from hers, make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. DON'T whatever you do, firm your hand, relax. Let it flow. Place the tip of your index finger ( the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth. Do all this in slow motion. She will remember it better if you do it slow. Don't rush it. Kiss as though you have all the time in the world. But don't prolong a kiss beyond its natural life. If she pushes you away, she is just not ready. Do not push your luck and never ever push your way hoping to get "lucky". You can always end things is by giving her a nice big hug. Americans seem to have become a nation of huggers (why not a nation of kisses like in France? They kiss for everything there. They kiss to say good morning, they kiss to say hello, life is so unfair.) When kissing, think about absolutely nothing. Better still, don't think. Let your mind blank out while you delight in the absorption of her drugging nectar. Begin kissing with your lips slightly parted, not zipped shut. Remember to relax them and don't let them freeze up. That will really dampen the kissing experience. Do not start wet, with your mouth wide open and you're tongue sticking out. Using Your Hands Use your hands when kissing. Many people simply waste them when kissing by using them only as some form of supporting themselves. You could wrap them around her waist, use them to clutch her back or massage her scalp. Wherever your hands are, use them. Slowly increase pressure or graze gently but in non-erotic zones, like the back, the shoulders, the arms. You should not use every kissing session as a prelude to sex. Sometimes, kissing just for the sake of kissing can be just as exciting as you absorb her very essence into your cells. Many men think of kissing as a a prelude to sex. They keep thinking, "Let's hurry up. Then we can get down to the nice stuff" As a result, they rush through their kissing and do not get to fully enjoy the delightfulness of a long, drugging, kiss. A Real Eye Opener Once in a while, pretend it's the first time you have ever kissed this person. A lot of people ask me if it is advisable to open your eyes when kissing. Well, one time, I was in the middle of this intoxicating kiss with my girlfriend and I opened my eyes and saw two huge brown eyes staring right back.
It was pretty scary and we both laughed and I guess that helped break the tension. My advice to you is that you should only open your eyes when kissing if you can stand the intimacy. Caution Men that just clamp their lips on their girlfriends when kissing and never move their lips or alter the angle of the kiss, lose out on the whole rhythm and motion of a kiss. It should be something dynamic and explorative, ever-changing, but not explorative in the way that some people stuff their tongues in your mouth as though they were searching for buried treasure or something! One last thing, you should never prolong a kiss beyond it's natural life. When you feel it is time to stop kissing (after a few hours is fine by me), conclude the session by drawing your lips away and giving a series of shorter, but more intense kisses. After the final one, draw away and just hold her, gently rocking your body against hers. Okay, so far I have gone through all the basic aspects of kissing, otherwise known as "lip" kissing. You may even have dabbled in using your tongue while kissing. Lip kissing is only the tip of the iceberg! If you do not widen your repertoire, your kissing life will be very dull indeed. The French "Soul" Kiss French kissing involves the tongue. What you do with it, and what she does with yours, is a matter of preference. At the most cautious level, the tongue does in fact enter, only to dart quickly out thus ending the kiss. The function was performed, and technically, the kiss can be defined as falling under the classification of "French Kiss." Now, on the other end of the spectrum, you have the type of tongue which, to borrow a cliché from Star Trek, "goes boldly where no tongue has ever gone before". The French kiss is the essence of kissing: capturing her mouth with desperate urgency, unifying your souls and thoughts with the mouth. By the way, contrary to popular belief, STDs cannot be transmitted via French kissing.
Mistakes Men Make Don't Make These Mistakes When Out on a First Date With Single Women In this chapter we will focus on what not to do and say when out on a first date with single women. If you are making these mistakes, it can hurt your chances for getting a second date. And if there is no second date, so much for love, sex, romance, or a potential relationship. Listed here are what not to do when out on a first date with single women: • •
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Do not talk about any of your personal problems. This is not appropriate with someone you hardly know. Don't act desperate. This date is just for fun and getting to know each other. Keep it light-hearted and don't act as if you are auditioning for a lifetime commitment. Don't cling to her and talk about your future relationship with her. For a first date, don't go to a nightclub or loud bar. They are too noisy for conversation and it's hard to get to know each other if you can't hear each other. Don't talk about anything negative at all. Keep everything you talk about upbeat and positive. Don't get drunk! This really turns women off and makes a bad impression. Don't drink at all or limit your drinking to a couple of drinks. Here's a real no no. You see a couple of your buddies and you leave her to go talk to them. You ignore her and just leave her hanging while you shoot the bull with your buddies. This is very inconsiderate and downright rude. The proper thing to do is just introduce your buddies and keep your conversation with them brief. After all you are out on a date with her, not your buddies. Don't try to analyze her problems. If you ask for a second date, don't say, "Would you like to get together next week and do something." Instead, be specific about the date. When, where, and what time. Don't discuss any of your family or monetary problems. Whatever you do, don't tell her how broke you are and how you are heavily in debt. On a first date, dress conservatively. This is no time to wear any provocative or sleazy clothes. Don't bitch about your previous girlfriends or ex-wives on how they mistreated you, dumped you, cheated on you, took you to the cleaners on child support, etc. Don't pretend to be funny or humorous. If you are putting on an act, it will come across to her as phony. 116
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Never, never ask for a second date like this: "I'm not doing anything on Saturday night, are you?" Don't focus on your health problems or ailments. If you are taking medication, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and take your pills. Don't take them in front of her. Don't brag about yourself and your accomplishments. Focus on her and her interests. Don't pick your nose or scratch or readjust your crotch. Don't stare at her breasts. If she has nice breasts and wearing a tight-fitting top or revealing some nice cleavage, I know it's going to hard for you not to glance down at her breasts. But, staring is going to make her feel uncomfortable and she will get the impression that all you are interested in is taking her to bed.
I know this is a rather long list of things to remember, but I can assure you, if you avoid making these mistakes it greatly increases your chances of making a favorable impression on your first date with single women and she will be interested in going on more dates with you which can lead to lots of fun, sex, and romance.
Don't Treat Your Date Like One of the Guys I'm sure that you are aware of how you act when you're around your buddies. You tend to joke around with each other, tease each other with insulting comments that are meant to be humorous, get involved in horseplay, etc. This is all done in fun and not meant to offend anyone. It's just a guy thing. It's ok to act this way when you're around your buddies, but don't do it when you're on a date. One surefire way to ruin a potential relationship is to treat her like one of the guys. Don't do it! When you tease, poke fun at, degrade, make offensive remarks all in fun at your date guess what happens? If she's the sensitive type, she will get very offended. You may think this behavior is no big deal because you're used to acting this way around your buddies, but trust me guys, she won't appreciate it and hold it against you. You see, while you're making all these meant to be funny comments, she is keeping score. And the score is not in you favor my friend. She will remember all your teasing and insults and take it personally. In closing, I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to not treat single women you date like one of the guys. You will just end up hurting her feelings.
Do this instead: Make her feel good about herself and be as romantic and affectionate towards her as possible. You will have much, much more success with single women if you will take this approach. P.S. Also, don't treat your date like one of the guys when you're on a double date. This makes matters much worse because you will be offending her in front of others and this will really alienate her. Plus, the other girl won't appreciate it either. And when they go to the restroom together they may make comments to each other about what a creep you are. By being labeled a creep, this sure isn't going to help you get a second date. Wouldn't you agree?
Bad Vocabulary Habits That Can Cost You Dates With Single Women I would like to focus on some vocabulary habits that can turn single women off and hurt your chances for getting women attracted to you for love and romance. Some women will judge you by how you talk to them and what you say. Unfortunately some men have a very small vocabulary and use certain words over and over again between sentences that can become very annoying to women. What are these words that men mistakenly repeat over and over that are a source of annoyment and can actually make you appear to be stupid because you lack a vocabulary? Here are the main ones and you must try to eliminate them from you vocabulary when speaking to single women: • • • • • • • • • • •
you know you know what I mean you know what I'm saying do you understand what I'm saying using the word "like" to begin a sentence I know that I already knew that umm yep nope and dah
These phrases are ok to use every once in awhile. What I'm talking about is repeating these phases in almost every other sentence. I'm sure you know people that have these annoying conversation habits. Maybe this is even you?
Also, I might add that you should never use cuss words in your conversation when you first get to know a woman. If she's offended by foul language, this can turn her off to the point that she will have no interest in dating you. Please don't mumble your words either. Speak clearly and don't talk with your hand over your mouth. And of course, if you're out on a lunch or dinner date, don't talk with your mouth full. P.S. - In all fairness, if the girl you're with makes these same vocabulary blunders you do, then you will share something in common and your blunders are not likely to turn her off.
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make While much of what follows is common sense, some of it will probably be news to you. No doubt about it, every one of us in one way or another is making a mistake in our interactions with women, and not knowing it is costing us getting laid. So to increase your odds of scoring with more women, take heed and stop making the same old mistakes and faux pas that most men make. When I asked women, "What are the biggest mistakes men make?" each woman answered with a list she seemed to have prepared in advance. On each list was each particular woman's pet peeve. Evidently, women give a lot of thought to how they wish men would behave. One woman told me that a test should be given that men should have to pass before they could begin dating women! I was surprised to discover that practically every woman I spoke with was frustrated, if not disgusted, with men's behavior. And the more I inquired into the biggest mistakes men make, the more a consensus began to show up. Without a doubt, most men are committing the same errors over and over and over again. What follows is a discussion of the most common as well as the biggest mistakes men make, so you will know WHAT NOT TO DO the next time you're out picking up women. What is important here is to understand a woman's point of view. This will clue you in to what you should and should not do to communicate more effectively to achieve the results you desire. LEERING AT WOMEN Many men simply "look" at women the wrong way. Monique explained, "If someone is obviously looking at my tits or my ass as I walk by, I would not take them seriously." Men who make this error are already off on the wrong foot before they have even said a
word! If you are seriously interested in meeting a woman, you will severely handicap yourself with a look of prurient intent. The rule to follow is: Look at and appreciate her clothes, her jewelry, her shoes, her hair and eyes, but don't let her know how much you love her beautiful body. She wants you to appreciate her body, but she doesn't want you to let on that you do. So be careful how you look at her. Like Toni said, 'Women don't want to feel like you just want to go to bed with them. Even if that's what's on your mind, and even if that's what's on their mind, they like it to be more discreet.
Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make When dating, one must know what single women find offensive. Even if they find you physically attractive, they would still be turned off if they take offense at how you treat them. You must be able to know what they want and then give it to her without sounding phony. The following are some common mistakes men make when dating single women that turn women off: Calling them babes, broads, chicks, or something even more repulsive? Continually eyeing other women while on dates? Being overly sexually aggressive by pawing at her body? Staring at her breasts?! Bragging/complaining about your ex-girlfriends? Explanation When dating, it is imperative that you call your date by her name! Most people ignore this and end up not knowing why their date dumped them.s If you keep eyeing other women on your date, this simply shows that you have no self control and have no respect for your date. Do not think for one moment that your partner will not notice your actions. Not only will she notice, she might end up so disgusted with your behavior that she may not want to go dating with you ever. Another error most men make when dating is continually staring at her breasts. Not only is this downright rude, especially in the early stages of dating, it also reflects badly on yourself.
Other Stuff – Dating Dating problems and solutions You can expect difficulties and setbacks in the course of meeting, dating, attracting, and seducing single women. Some problems have a relatively simple "fix", while others require careful attention and a great deal of patience. Consider problems as challenges and learning experiences, rather than as painful failures and doors slammed in your face. Here are some common problems you will face in relationships and a trouble shooting guide to fix them: Dating Problem: As long as the two of you are doing something, everything is fine, but when you are alone with each other you seem to have nothing to say. Solution: This does not bode well for your relationship. If you cannot communicate, you may not have much in common. Problem: The woman you are going with consistently shows up late for dates. Solution: You are a low priority with her. Reconsider how important she is in your life. Problem: After meeting a single woman, things usually go well for the first few dates, but then she loses interest in you. Solution: This seems to be a repeating pattern in your relationships. • • • • •
Become a more interesting person. Develop your talents and explore the depths of your potential. Review basic conversational skills. Do you attach yourself to the woman, "smothering'" her? Do your constant attentions allow her to take you for granted?
Problem: You are going out with a woman who shows you no affection at all, who constantly criticizes you, who shows no interest in the things that are important to you. She permits you to take her to dinner and entertain her, and makes you feel that this is what you owe her for being with her. You are nevertheless overwhelmed and grateful to be near her, and if you could only get her to return your love, it would make your life complete.
Solution: If it is your life's ambition to be abused and exploited, then you have found your soul mate. Otherwise, run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Problem: You seem to be stuck in a rut. Your life has settled into a dull routine of loneliness and even the prospect of a close relationship hardly excites you any more. Solution: • • • • • • • • • •
Try a change of pace. Fill up your free time with activities. Take classes. Join clubs. Do volunteer work. Devote yourself to a hobby. Start work on your novel. Step out of the role. Be a bit more flexible, and less predictable in your behavior. Deliberately act out of character occasionally. If you are in a permanent state of depression, consider professional counseling.
Problem: You are tired of making a fool of yourself over women, tired of being humiliated and rejected. You don't know where you'll find the courage to go on looking for your love. Solution: • • •
Get a good night's sleep. Wake up fortified with a teeny bit of optimism, and smile at the people you meet on the way to work. Forget about girlfriend hunting for a few weeks, perhaps a month or two, and concentrate on improving your relationships with your family and friends.
Problem: Absolutely nothing seems to work. Solution: • • • • • •
Perhaps it is not a good time in your life to be seeking a relationship. You might not yet be ready for one. Treat yourself to a six month's breather, a vacation from looking for a girlfriend. Enlarge your circle of acquaintances. Develop new interests. Grow, learn, and be patient.
How Can You Tell if a Woman Likes You or Not? There are tons and tons of little signs that women often give off that can help you to judge how well you're doing. The following are three of the most obvious and telling. Keep these in mind when you're attempting to charm that beauty. Eye Contact If she likes you she'll engage in elevated levels of direct eye contact when talking with you. She'll look more directly into your eyes and hold it a little longer than normal. A great deal of eye contact with you usually signals that she's more interested in YOU than in the topic you're discussing. On the other hand, if she's avoiding your eyes, then you're probably not oozing too much charm. Shoulder Orientation Think of her shoulders as a pointer. She "points" them at what she's interested in. If you're talking to her and her shoulders are pointed directly at you then she's probably somewhat attracted to you. If they're pointed in a different direction, she's probably not (at the moment). But watch them. She may change their focus and begin moving in your direction... if you're doing things right. Laughing Does she laugh at your jokes and witty remarks? If she is attracted to you, she will laugh at anything you say that is even mildly amusing. In fact she may laugh so much that you begin thinking that you must be pretty darn funny. (Why hasn't anyone told you this before?) In actuality, this has more to do with your presence eliciting a positive state of emotional arousal in her than in your wild sense of humor. On the other hand, if your humorous attempts draw blank or bored stares, then you might want to get movin' along.
How to Get Phone Numbers From Single Women and How to Tell If She's Giving You a Phony Number After you have made contact with a hot & sexy single woman you are attracted to and have talked and gotten to know each other, the best way to ask her for her phone is say, "Let's meet for lunch or dinner sometime, can I have your phone number?" Hopefully, you will get an immediate response. Be aware that she might give you the old line of, "Why don't you give me your number?" A lot of times this turns out to be just a slick trick on her part. Because, she will just throw your number away. Also, you must be aware that she may give you a phony number. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me in meeting women in nightclubs and topless clubs. Some girls, instead of just declining to give you their number, they give you a phony number for fear of hurting your feelings. Plus, they may live with a boyfriend or husband and would rather lie to you instead of saying no, which could hurt your feelings. Here's a trick I play on women when they give me their phone number. After I write her number down I will pause while I'm writing and say, "Excuse me, could you repeat that number again?" If this number is different from the first number she gave me, I will know she's lying. If this happens, tell her you don't appreciate her giving you a phony number and ask her to leave or just walk away. Don't waste your time with her! Before I forget, always carry a pen with you to write down her phone number. This is very important! Even better, carry around a expensive-looking pen to make a favorable impression on her.
A Few Words of Advice About Pornography and Dating Single Women You need to be aware that a lot of single women are offended by pornography and think it is demeaning to women, causes moral decay, rape, prostitution, etc. So, to be on the safe side early in a relationship with a woman, it would be wise to hide any pornographic photos, magazines, videos, sex toys, etc. from her. I would advise hiding it in a good place like the attic or locked up in a trunk, file cabinet, etc. Don't hide it under your mattress or under the bed or in your closet. You'd be surprised how women will snoop around while you're not looking. So what's the point of all this? If a girl you're dating is disgusted and offended by porno and she accidently or purposely discovers pornographic materials in your apartment or house, guess what message that sends to her? She may think that you're some kind of pervert and may be very offended. Offended to the point that she will not want to date you anymore. So guys, keep your porno out of sight until you get to know a woman better and her viewpoints on pornography, sex toys, etc. If she has nothing against pornography then you don't have to be so discreet. But, if she is dead set against porno even after you have established a serious relationship, just keep your stuff hidden (you can always break it out when she's not around).
Dating Psychology Time can work for you or against you. It's your choice. If you expect to develop a relationship very quickly with single women, you will find that it ends as quickly. You can't ramp up too fast. Consider nature. Some plants grow very quickly. They complete their life cycles in a matter of weeks or months. Common weeds are a good example - here in May, gone in October. Now think about the most successful plants - the redwoods, oaks and some evergreens. All develop very slowly, some over hundreds of years. They become strong and resistant to the destructive effects of the environment. On the other hand, weeds are crushed underfoot. The species survives by being numerous.
The Single Man's Astrological Guide to Single Women ARIES (March 21 - April 19) - She's aggressive with men, dynamic, hot-tempered, and very bossy. You must be very strong-willed with this woman and don't let her boss you around. Don't be a wimp, this woman loves a challenge. She attracts men quiet easily and can discard them just as easily. Don't try to tie this woman down, she likes her freedom and doesn't like to be smothered. They are very energetic and aggressive in bed and reach orgasm very quickly. If you want some "hot" sex, this is the girl for you. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) - They don't call this the sign of the bull for nothing! This woman is bull-headed and she likes to get her own way and can be very stubborn. She's very down-to-earth and loves to take care of her man, so be sure and go along with letting her mother you. Shower her with plants, flowers, and money. This woman is very sensual in bed and likes to make love slowly. She can literally make love for hours! I hope you have a lot of sexual stamina to keep up with her! GEMINI (May 21 - June 21) - This woman is a big flirt, so if you're the jealous and possessive type this can cause problems. She's very intelligent and the best way to her heart is through her mind. You must keep her mind stimulated to keep her from getting bored with you. She loves to travel, so take her for weekend get-aways out-of-town. She loves to be stroked, so be sure and give her a sensual massage. They love variety in their sex life, so be sure and try different positions and make love in different settings (in front of the fireplace, in the bath tub or shower, on the kitchen counter, in an open field, etc.). CANCER (June 22 - July 22) - This woman will want to baby and take care of you. Let her do it, by all means, because its part of her maternal instincts. She's very emotional and romantic, so you can really capture this woman's heart by doing anything romantic. She soaks up compliments like a sponge, so be sure to compliment her often. She makes a good sex partner because she will do anything to please her man. LEO (July 23 - August 22) - This woman is very charming, has lots of sex appeal, and loves to party. She's a very social person and loves to be on the go. If you're a couch potato, you're not the man for her. Very passionate and affectionate and has lots of love to give to the right guy. Attracted to unusual, dynamic men who are often a bit eccentric. You must be well-dressed and treat
her like royalty because she has a strong ego. She's a real tiger in bed and rules the bedroom. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) - Very intellectual and a bit cool and acts aloof. Very picky about men and you must meet her high standards. Very critical nature. Take it slow with this woman. It takes her awhile to warm up to you because of her cautious nature. It's worth it in the end because once she's yours she's yours to keep. Very faithful and devoted. Can be very exacting in bed and wants to follow a set routine. She wants everything to be perfect. LIBRA (September 23 - October 23) - This is one of the most beautiful signs in the Zodiac. She's very feminine and her good looks attracts a lot of men. She makes an ideal mate because she's so giving and loves peace and harmony. She's so sexy, seductive, and charming. A very social creature and very romantic and sentimental. Be sure and appeal to her romantic nature and she's all yours! SCORPIO (October 24 - November 21) - This is a very intense and mysterious woman. She doesn't do anything half-hearted and when she sets her sights on a man she will pursue him with relentless intensity. She may even scare you away with her intensity, jealousy, and possessiveness. She can be a very moody and emotional person. Don't get on the wrong side of this woman because she can make a dangerous enemy and will stop at nothing to get even with you. Very intense in bed and probably the best lover in the Zodiac. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21) - She's very independent and loves her freedom. If you try to pin her down and you're the jealous and possessive type, you will scare this woman away. She loves the outdoors and sports, so plan you're activities outside and play sports and attend sporting events. She loves to travel, so take her places to capture her heart. Enjoy her while she's around because her heart is known to wander. She doesn't like long-term commitments. You must have a good sense of humor and be happy-go-lucky like her. CAPRICORN - (December 22 - January 19) - This woman is very reserved in the beginning but once you have broken down her barriers, she will love you with all her heart with lots of intensity. She's very ambitious and career-oriented. Appeal to her by talking about making money and attaining goals. Move slow with this woman. You must become her friend first before you can get her in the sack. She's not into casual sex, so you must not be sexually aggressive with this woman.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18) - Very intelligent and you must appeal to her mind. Can be very elusive and afraid of commitment. There are a lot of bachelorettes born under this sign and they usually marry late in life. She's a strong believer in friendship and will remain your friend even after you have broken up. Keep in mind that they can be a little cold-natured, so if you're expecting a hot & sexy passionate sex-goddess, then you may be disappointed. PISCES (February 19 - March 20) - If you want a loving, devoted, affectionate, sympathetic woman to cater to your every need, this is the woman for you. This woman need lots of affection and attention. The more romance you can give her the better! She's got lots of love to give in return. She's very emotional and moody, so you will have to help keep her balanced emotionally.
Women's Sexual Behavior Women's Sexual and Seduction Power Over Single Men The power of seduction is perhaps one of woman's strongest instincts. This drive probably goes back to ancient times when a woman seduced a man to gain protection and food in order to survive. Over the centuries this drive has evolved to become more subtle, but certainly not weaker. We see today even pre-school girls "seducing" their fathers to get what they want. Girls learn at an early age that men can be manipulated with nothing more than a little female attention. Of course, the attention that single women use translates to sexuality. But it doesn't even take a promise of sex - merely the hint or suggestion of sex is enough to manipulate or seduce a man into doing what a woman wants him to do. As a matter of fact, some women grow up finding so much success using their "charms" that seduction becomes second nature to them. Most often, they are not even aware that they are doing it. Usually these women grew up around men who were very susceptible to female attention, so that from an early age these women learned how to get what they wanted. So, if money is important to a man because with it he can get what he wants, in the same way, the power of seduction is important to a single woman because with it she too can get things she wants. What all this means to you, the man trying to understand single women, is that women like to know they have that power of seduction. Single women are very stimulated by an opportunity to affirm that power. They love a chase. They love a man who is a "catch" someone who is hard to get. A man who makes himself easy denies a woman her desire to prove her powers of seduction. She will be bored with this man and go after one who stimulates her desire for a challenge. This is something that every man must remember when dealing with single women.
Are You Sometimes Confused by Women's Sexual Behavior? For example, has this ever happened to you? You meet this really hot & sexy single girl at a nightclub and the sexual chemistry between you is incredible. While slow-dancing you are rubbing each others back, grinding your crotches, kissing each others neck, kissing, etc. I'm sure you're getting the picture. It's getting late and you invite her over to your place for a drink. Then after she comes over you sit on the couch and start making out. Things really start to get hot and heavy. You start to undress her and she reluctantly pulls back and says, "not tonight." This really frustrates you after getting all worked up and you're totally confused about what's going on here. You're wondering why she seemed ready to make love but got cold feet. Before you jump to conclusions and consider her a prude or a prick-teaser, these are the most likely reasons why she chickened out: Mother nature has made her monthly call and she's on her period. She is concerned that if she has sex with you so soon in the relationship you will think she is nothing but a promiscuous cheap whore and you won't see her again. She is concerned that she might get pregnant or even worse, contract a sexual disease. She only has sex with someone that she is in love with and being that you have just met she has not had time to get to know you and feel love for you. When she has had casual sex in the past she feels empty and ashamed of herself the next morning. So, she feels uncomfortable repeated the same empty and unfulfilling experience. So, what is the lesson to be learned from this? First of all, men and women are different when it comes to hoping in bed with someone. Men will go to bed with women at the drop of a hat, even if they have only known each other a couple of hours. Women are different. Most of them aren't into casual sex. They want to get to know you and develop feelings for you before they give their body to you. So, my advice is to take things slow with a single woman. Take time for you to get to know each other and develop chemistry, communication, and feelings for each other. You really don't even have to rush sex. If sex is going to happen, it's going to happen naturally anyway. Believe me, the woman will really respect you and admire you for not rushing her into a sexual relationship. Plus, you will really make a favorable impression 130
on her because you're different than the other men she's used to who come on all hot and horny acting like a dog in heat. In conclusion, if a woman continues to reject your advances, be sure and have a heart to heart talk with her about you are not getting your needs met in the relationship. If she refuses to compromise, then it's a simple choice. Live with it or move on someone who can meet your physical needs.
How to Tell When Single Women Are in the Mood For Sex As you probably know, men and women's sex drives are different. Men are ready to have sex at anytime and don't really have to wait to be in the mood for sex. Single women's sex drive is much more complicated and her moods are subject to change. If you know when she's more likely to be in the mood for sex, you can use this to your advantage to seduce single women for some really "hot and passionate" sex. All you have to know is when her menstrual period begins and when it is about to start. Let me explain why: Researchers have discovered that a woman's sex drive is strongest on the sixth and seventh day after her period begins. Also, another time when her sexual appetite peaks is the three days just before she starts her menstrual period. So, my friend, it would be to your advantage to monitor the menstrual cycle of the woman you're with so you'll know when she's mostly likely to be horny and receptive to your sexual advances and when she is most likely to turn into a sexual volcano, ready to explode!
Reading A Single Woman's Sexy Signals It takes two to tango. If you're a shy guy, learn how to read a single woman's seductive signals before you ask her to dance. Remember, shy can be very sexy!
Here are the top ten flirting gestures, body language, and actions that let you know a single woman is interested in you: 1) Eyebrow flash: She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, followed by a rapid lowering to the normal position. The flash is often combined with a smile and some eye contact. 2) Lip lick: Very common. Some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area. 3) Short darting glances: Usually occurs in sets, with an average of three glances each. 4) Hair flip: She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion. 5) Coy smile: She gives you a sort of half-smile, showing little if any tooth, combined with a downward gaze or very brief eye contact. 6) Whisper: She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school. 7) Primping: She pats or smoothes her clothing, even if it doesn't need any adjusting. 8) Skirt hike: The hem goes up to expose a little more leg. 9) Object caress: Fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table. Very sensual. 10) Solitary dance: While seated, she moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
Recognizing Arousal If the girl you are with is interested in you, she will exhibit certain signs of attraction and arousal. Each little mannerism, for example the sparkle in her eyes, her tone of voice, her body language should be taken into consideration when trying to decide if the lady you are with is genuinely interested in you. Signs Of Arousal Wide, easy smiles accompanied with a relaxed face. She blushes frequently and her skin tone become redder. She maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils are dilated (they become larger). She would often blink more frequently than usual and her eye lashes flutter. You might even
notice a sparkle in her eye. The eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of telling if she is attracted to you. Subconscious biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, wetting her lips or even chewing her fingernails. While talking, she is slowly stroking her cocktail glass (or any cylindrical object) up and down with her thumb and index finger. (reveals what she is thinking of, if you get my meaning) She might also be fiddling with her jewelry. She starts sitting up and her arms aren't limp. If her crossed leg is pointing in your general direction and rocking back and forth. She adjusts the tone and pitch of her voice to match yours. In fact, any sigh that she is mimicking you can be taken as a sign of interest. For example, laughing in unison or crossing her legs if you've crossed yours. She winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a distance. This means she really is interested in you. Even exposing the palms of her hand facing you show that she might be interested in you as it has been proven to be a subconscious sign telling you that she has nothing to hide. She twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly with her hand while maintaining eye contact.
Women's Sexuality and Sensuality Women have a much higher level of sexuality and sensuality than men do, and love opportunities to express it. One only need observe a dance floor to confirm this. The men are usually very conservative, bobbing back and forth, while the women are very expressive with their bodies, making exaggerated moves - not afraid to offer sexual connotation to their dancing. The important thing here is that women love an opportunity to express their sensuality, and are attracted to a man who offers that opportunity. Be it because he is a good dancer, or is into yoga and massage, or is a photographer looking for a model, a woman is drawn to a man that is comfortable with sensuality. Now this does not mean that you'll have to go out and become an Elvis Presley clone to attract women. There are many subtle ways a man can add an element of sensuality to his personality. In later chapters we will give you ideas on how this can be done. What Women Want From Sex 133
To be more correct, women don't want sex - they want good sex. Women's sexual desires are much greater than most men realize. But, unlike men, who are just after sex, women are looking for great sexual experiences. Women are very discriminating and choosy in picking partners. They are only interested in having a sexual encounter with a partner that: 1. sexually arouses them and 2. promises, by his manner or image or personality, to be "good in bed". Women want exciting, provocative, imaginative partners who will lead them through great sexual experiences. Though their sexual desire may be very high, they will pass up just any sexual encounter waiting to find the one that promises to be special. The fact that women are choosy about who they go to bed with is a dilemma for men, but there is one good aspect to this trait. Women, once they do choose, tend to stay with him, and are reluctant to change partners. Women know that good sex is hard to find, so once they have it, they would rather hang on to that relationship than go back out into the market place. Keep in mind this propensity to stay in a relationship because of sex exists only as long as the sex is good. The last thought in this section is something that I have come to realize is a cardinal rule to be used in reading women. That is: WOMEN HAVE SEX WITH MEN WHO THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. At first, this phrase may sound too simple and obvious to have any wisdom to it, but let me expand on it. The meaning behind it is, that if a woman decides that she would like to sleep with someone, she will pursue that person relentlessly. And on the other hand, if a woman has decided that she is not interested in sleeping with someone, no amount of pursuit or persuasion is going to move her. Many men have wasted their precious time and energy by ignoring this reality. We will show you how you can read women well enough to know whether or not to continue interest in her, or to bow out and put your energies into women where the odds are greater.
What Turns Single Women On What turns single women on It's very important to know these things so you will know what to do to attract and turn women on. Listed here are things about men that turns on single women, according to hundreds of single women surveyed: • • • • • • • • •
Meeting men in a public place naturally and by accident Honest men Nice men who treat them with respect Men in tight jeans A man with a good sense of humor Men with a outgoing and friendly personality A man who is ambitious and knows where he is going in life Men who have the ability to be himself and not try to put on an act Men who listen to them and try to get to know them
How to Turn Single Women on Sexually Did you know you can drive single women wild in bed just by talking sexy and making sexual moans and groans? Sex sounds are a good way to enhance a woman's lovemaking pleasure. By making sounds, you exchange energy with your partner and let her know how much she's turning you on. So, what are these sounds to turn single women on while involved in foreplay and lovemaking? Try these: "Ummmmmmmm!" "I love the way you do that!"
"Oh, baby you're so good!" "Oooooooooh!" "Oh, God, oh, oh" "I love this!" "Aaaaaaaaah!" And one of the ultimate sounds you can make is a simple, "Oh,____________"(her name) during the heat of passion. Be sure it's her name though.....you're going to be up shit creek if you call out another girl's name during lovemaking. Moans and groans are very effective in arousing passion in single women. Just start out making soft moans and groans and increase the volume when she's nearing an orgasm. In closing, follow these tips that will let her know that she is pleasing you and will turn you into a sexual Super Stud.
Excitation Techniques Whispering Techniques If body language communicates 90% of what is said during courting, then talking to them in their ear (or whispering) should be responsible for about 50% of that. The ear is a very erogenous zone. AND WOMEN LOVE IT WHEN THEY ARE WHISPERED TO. Everyone does. If a below average chick says something remotely sexy in your ear, you will be way more turned on than if she said it to you face to face. The same goes for women. So if the bar is loud ( and you should look for above average loudness bars) you have every right to use this technique: she wont ask you "why are you whispering in my ear" because she knows it's loud. When you start talking to her, immediately reach for getting your lips around 9 inches or so from her ear. Then if she is responding by letting you talk to her in that manner, try to get closer and closer as the dialog develops. If she isn't backing away every time you are responding to something you are saying, and if she keeps asking you questions or is trying to make conversation, you know you are good and can go on with this method. Within five minutes you should be talking to her IN her ear, as your lips should be almost touching her ear. While you are carrying out the whisper technique, you should be also working on the second seduction method called "boob touch".
Boob touch The boob touch technique works like this: You are both standing in a club or bar, you have already approached her, sparked a conversation, and while talking (whispering) to her, you hold your drink with both hands in front of your chest and stand very close to her. This is a standard "I'm just socializing" position. By having your gin and tonic (or what have you) right in front of your chest, you try to ever so slightly touch her boobs (not the nipples just yet) while you are whispering to her. Don't bring attention to it, it is happening merely as an unintentional accident: you are trying to make sure she hears what you are saying by talking to her in her ear, but because you have to reach over to her ear, your knuckles are accidentally brushing against her boobs and nipples. Proceed to repeat this throughout your conversation, quickly brushing against her nipples. Again, if she keeps making conversation it means she is enjoying it (green light). Sometimes you will notice that they just start asking the most bland and pathetic questions, meaning, " don't stop cause I love it". Keep this up for as long as you feel like it. We do recommend changing gears while they are still wet, so within twenty minutes of talking via the "boob touch" method, you can take it to the next level. The boob touch can also work if she is sitting by the bar: lets say she is on a stool and you want to hit on her: approach her from the side, as in, don't stand in front of her knees (since you wont be able to reach over to her breasts. Stand next to her (next to her legs) in a way that you can have easy, access to her tits while reaching over to talk to her. If you two are both sitting, you can easily use the "subliminal leg touch technique" Subliminal leg touch technique If you are both sitting, the situation gets slightly different. You can't be reaching over to accidentally be brushing against her breast. So in this case, you can use other parts of you body to make contact with hers, after all, its about the physical contact. If you are both on bar stools and you are facing each other, you can make both of your legs softly interlock with hers during an attempt to reach over and better hear what she is saying. If you are both sitting at a table, facing each other, at least your ankles should touch, hopefully proceeding to a footsie, where you run your ankle along her leg. If you are both sitting at a table, perpendicular to each other, your knees can touch.
If you are both in a booth, next to each other, your elbows, legs and knees can come in contact. If you are sitting on a bar stool, and she comes around but doesn't have a seat, offer yours. If she says no ( they usually do) then stand up any way, claiming you sat too much at the office. Then, if you are both standing up, you can carry out the boob touch. After you carry out the whispering, the boob touch or the leg touch techniques for twenty minutes or so, you will notice that she will be enjoying it as much as you are. That's good! This means that you only are two steps from bringing her back.
About SEX Sex - When? So when is it the appropriate time? This is a tough one. It will vary greatly from couple to couple. I can tell you that the first date is not the time. This hurts, but work with me here. Do you think for one minute that you are so irresistible that any single woman will throw herself at you after three hours of pasta and Merlot? Right. If that were the case, you wouldn't be reading this book and your mail would be addressed: Brad Pitt, Hollywood, CA. No, there's something else going on. Maybe she does this with every guy she goes out with. She might be drunk. She may be extremely desperate for attention from a guy, any guy and thinks that sex is the quickest way to get it. She may ask you for $100 when it's over! It may be some combination of the above. The question is - is this what you want? Not the sex, dummy, the woman. Do you want to spend more time with her? Are you ready to introduce her to your friends? What about the second date, or the third? OK, this could get silly. Obviously, there is no magic number. All relationships are going to move at different rates and intensities. If you make the decision that you want to move to a physical relationship, what you need is a reality check. Talk to her! Do you actually have a relationship going here? Is she part of your life? Do you share a lot? Do you trust her? Are you close enough that you can have an honest discussion about having sex? If you can't talk to her about it how are you going to get naked with her? We don't want to remove the passion and make this sound too clinical, but it's important that her expectations are properly focused. If you are not ready to commit to an exclusive relationship, the time to reveal that is before you hit the sack. If that's still OK, and the two of you want to proceed, well . . .
Should You Have Sex With Single Women Early in a Relationship? Becoming physically intimate too soon can be fatal to a relationship. It can shatter the slowly developing friendship and trust between the two of you. It magnifies and distorts feelings, clouds judgment, and superimposes cruel reality on hopes and dreams ("Is that all there is?"). It narrows options and introduces tensions and pressures into what was a
joyous and carefree acquaintanceship. It damns you for lack of respect for the woman, and for lack of discipline on your part. It is begging for trouble. Getting to know a woman, "touching" her is critically important in a relationship. Physical contact at the wrong time can intrude, hinder real understanding, block communication. You can learn more about each other by joining your voices in song, by becoming one in music and lyrics and poetry, than by sleeping together. You can get a deeper sense of communion by sharing a meal than by sharing a bed. Just holding hands or a gentle kiss can easily be more explosively effective in linking the two of you than having sex. Physical intimacy implies commitment, responsibility, a sense of permanence. It is a promise. The two of you should be fully committed to each other before you seal the bond with lovemaking. Sex should never be undertaken lightly, without a full understanding of its implications... and consequences.
Sex on the First Date Part I What does it mean when a man asks for sex on the first date? Is it appropriate? Does it affect the outcome of a relationship? Do guys really want sex, or are they asking deeper questions? In a column, I posted a question from a reader named Sally who wrote: Men often indicate they would like a sexual encounter on the first date. Are they serious or do they think it is expected they will ask...and what answer do they really anticipate? Sally's question really hit a nerve, if the scores of opinions from Tools readers that have been filling my email box can be taken as any indication of the importance of the issue. Sally's questions really cut to the heart of what men and women readers think about: sex. Despite being overwhelmingly male, the respondents shared opinions that ran from permissive to monastic. But one opinion that nearly all writers shared was this: men think about sex on the first date. No big surprise there. But what they do with those thoughts and how they act on them is a different matter entirely, the focus of this column. In part one of this two-part series, we'll take a look at the reasons men might ask for or hint at sex on the first date. The reasons might not be what you'd expect. Then, in two weeks, come back for part two, where you'll see men and women's opinions on whether you actually should have sex on the first date. Survey Says: "Men Need a Sign You're Interested" Many men wrote in saying that some physical sign of affection, such as a hug or a kiss, helps show a woman is at least interested in them. These guys want reassurance that their
dates find them attractive. If there's no sign of affection, many men said that they might not pursue a second date. DoctorTom said: "I've never had a second date with a woman who was afraid to touch me on the first date. This doesn't mean sex, or even a goodnight kiss – but a hug goes a **long** way toward making me more interested in someone. If you're interested, more than a handshake is necessary to get me to call you for a second date. If you're not interested, a firm handshake conveys that nicely, and we can all part friends." EVermin wants a sign: "It's not necessarily sex that men seek on the first date. Just something – ANYTHING – that hints the woman is interested physically in the guy is a helping hand towards the date and the relationship. A little physical affection, even if it seems a bit extreme to you, makes all the difference in the world when the guy is deciding 'how the date went' later on." Phantom9 said be positive and reassuring: "One level, the male may be seeking affirmation of his attractiveness. [The woman has a few options if she doesn't want to have sex right away.] The woman, if interested, could say something like 'I think you are terrific and I'm enjoying getting to know you. I'm interested in all aspects of a relationship with you but think we need to take some time to let the relationship grow. Please call me again, soon.' That tone is positive and reassuring and gives the man hope. She will likely get a second date and a third...if she continues to show such understanding and skill in the emotional dance." Survey Says: "Saying No Increases A Guy's Respect!" Who said that men who ask for sex really want it right away? For many of the men who wrote in, asking for sex on the first date is really a test: if she says yes, these guys lose respect for her and won't pursue anything long term! If she says, "let's wait," many men express increased respect and interest in pursuing a relationship! These guys want to know you're a woman with principles, even as they try to get you into bed. JB sums up this view: "If I were to ask a women for sex on the first date I would hope for the answer to be no, because I would have so much more respect for her." LobsterHunter says sex on the first date can lead to second thoughts: "I think that most of us men have thoughts of wanting sex on the first date. I also think that we do not expect it. I have slept with first dates in the past, and always left the experience with negative feelings about my partner even if I enjoyed the sex." Lets_b_friends doesn't ask for sex, but wonders about women who want it too soon: "If a woman indicates that she wants to hit the sack on date number one (and I've met a few that have done this) I'm usually turned off big time. I mean seriously, if a girl will sleep with me on the first date and she really doesn't even know me that well, how many other men has she been with??"
An Old Fashioned Stud Muffin wants a challenge: "I frequently engage in what might be regarded as 'seductive' behavior, even on first dates. To me, cuddling and kissing are their own rewards. Several times woman have assumed this meant I wanted to have sex with them; actually it is always disappointing to a man when a woman gives in so easily! Yes, you should act interested in the man and pay attention to him, but men will usually value you more highly if they perceive you to be more of a challenge." Perflode said: "Surely no one looking to build a relationship would want a woman who is willing to sleep with a man after just meeting him. That is definitely not an attractive quality in a lady." So what's a man or a woman to do in these situations? If what many of these guys have written is any indication, men think about and ask for sex on the first date, but often don't expect it. What sort of dilemma does that create for the woman? Several other men who wrote in said they would sleep with a woman on the first date, but would then rule her out for more than a purely physical relationship. Could such men pass over women who would be fine long term partners, only because they agreed to his initial request for sex? How can women know beforehand what the longer term consequences of saying "yes" are? And what if the women had a similar test for they guys? Would anyone pass? In Part II we'll hear the most common responses from men and women who answer the question, "Should you have sex on the first date?"
Part II Men and Women Respond What does sex on the first date mean? Do you have it? Do you want to? In Part I of this two part exploration into the mating habits of men and women, these questions were raised by a reader named Sally, as well as the many Tools readers who responded to her question. The surprising, and most popular response said, at least in part, that asking for sex on the first date was not always what it seemed. That is, men didn't always want sex, even when they say so directly. In fact, many men said that when they ask for sex they're looking for an acknowledgment that their partner finds them attractive and wants to continue dating. What's more, guys said that many of them won't enter into a long-term relationship with women who have sex on the first date. Those provocative answers bring us to Part II of our sex-on-the-first-date chronicles. This time out, we take a look at readers' views on sex, when to have it, and what it means to actually have it on the first date. With guys, responses fell into two camps: •
those who said sex should wait (anywhere from three dates to years).
men who said sex is sex, that if it happens on the first date, it can be a sign that the relationship is off to a good start.
Then there is the small collection of responses from women: Many wrote in to say that whether you wait or not, all the guys who are right for you will respect your wishes, especially if you want to wait until you know each other better. Opinion One: Sex is Too Sacred to Rush A large number of guys said avoid the quick sexual fix and wait until you get to know a bit more about your partner. The way they see it, you're respecting yourself and respecting her. Cigueno says the importance of sex fades: "I am middle aged and there was a time of youthful exuberance wherein the spiritual (or psychological) aspect of sexuality held much less sway. But now, who and what a woman is 'spiritually' or 'psychologically' is as important, if not more so, as her figure or her face ever was to me. Speaking as a male (and only for myself) I would consider this whole business of having sex on the first date, as a serious case of self-delusion. If I approached the first date entertaining the notion of having sex, I would suspect that I had fallen down some adolescent (and/or Freudian) mine shaft." Honor yourself and wait, says mrwookie: "Those who desire and pursue sex on a first and second date are in my opinion abandoning their self respect and regard the other as nothing more than cheap meat. They ridicule all that is wondrous and unique about making love. To those who resist having sex on a first date, you honor yourself, your body, and the sanctity of this mystery. If your date persists on sex too soon, then that person is not worth your time and soul. There are better people out there and they are more worthy of your time and presence." Opinion Two: "We're in the 90s. Don't Be So Uptight!" Call this group of male respondents the Free Love gang. These guys don't see any problem with first date sex. For them, there's no denying that men think about sex a lot, whether they say so or not. In one form or another, their motto is, "Act Today!" Troublewandre says women can't have it both ways: "Would you prefer it if men expressed no interest in sex with you at all? Haven't you, Sally, ever met anyone you'd just like to throw down on the ground and do it with, right then and there? Sometimes you just feel the attraction." Who, Me? tells women not to overreact: "We certainly have nothing to lose by asking; if a woman is such a prude that she's offended by the question, it's a sure bet that we'd never get anything out of the relationship but headaches anyway." The name JoeStud says it all: "By all means, sex on the first date is expected and required! If the date went well, then it's a great way for him to show he cares and might
want another date. If the date went badly, at least he can salvage a sexual conquest and a story he can tell his buddies. Get with it Sally, after all this is the 90's!" Babemaster says lust is a two way street: "Think about your question from both sides. On your first date with a new guy, you are checking him out to see how he presents himself, how he acts and how he treats you, right? The guy is doing the same thing, he wants to know things about you as well, like how you look, if you laugh at his jokes...most importantly he wants to know whether you will be compatible in bed. Never forget this will most likely form the basis of a lasting relationship if this part of the date is successful." Women Say: "He'll Wait If He's the Right Guy" I've already mentioned that few women respond to Sally's question. Those who did said that Sally should do what she wants, while keeping in mind that if she'd rather wait, the right guy is willing to wait, too. daisydontgo says wait if you want more: "I think that if you sleep with a man on the first date that is fine, but if you want a more serious, long term relationship then give yourself better odds by waiting until you know him and he knows you a little better....I've found saying I am not going to sleep with you because I don't know you well enough, but you can stay and I'll hug you all night if you want' can be mutually beneficial, if you have the willpower..." Take your time, says PrettyRtist: "If he's attracted to you sex will always be on his mind, it's only natural, but what isn't natural is demanding sex from you when you don't want to be intimate with him so early. Take your time and get to know him and if his intentions are honorable he will wait until you're ready. But don't be disappointed if after a few dates and refusing his advances he stops calling you, this shows he really is only looking for the sexual quick fix, and some men are spoiled by how readily sex is available. It's your body, your life, and your decision, do what feels right for you." We've got men who say 'wait,' men who 'go for it,' and women who say 'the right guy for you is the one who respects your wishes.' And on top of all that, Part I showed us that when men ask, they might not be asking for sex, even if they ask for it! How's that for confusing? According to what these guys say, many want merely a sign of affection from their dates, a small gesture that shows she's interested. Is there any way out of this tangle of mixed messages and psychological one upmanship? Why do some men admittedly put women up to a test by indicating they want sex right away? If the answer men really want to their advances is a very polite "no, but I really like you and hope we can continue dating," couldn't they ask their question a little more directly? When a guy asks for sex, but means, "Are you attracted to me?" he might not get the answer he wants. Should women have to refuse men's advances in order to prove that they're relationship material? To the small portion of male readers who made it clear that some guys want sex, and only sex, out of their dates, I say, at least you're being honest about what you want.
To all the guys who ask for sex, but really want something else, here's my advice: concentrate more on what you're really trying to say and say it directly, rather than using the occasion to test a potential mate, or get her to reveal her interest in you. Stop messing with heads! If you ask a convoluted question, you never know whether you're getting the answer you want.
Sexual Advice on How to Make Love to Single Women I do not intend for this chapter to be an abbreviated sex manual. Its purpose is to introduce you to some basic principles and philosophies of the sexual fulfillment of single women, and to encourage you to learn as much as you can about a single woman's sexual needs, want, and desires. I have compiled a list of tips about sex, but they are certainly not expected to fill your entire needs for sexual education. Entire books are devoted to the topic of female sexuality, there are sex manuals on the market, magazines have sections devoted to educating men in the art of making love. In other words, there is a lot of material available and I strongly suggest that you obtain some. Also, we recommend that you see some X-rated movies. Though often poorly produced and acted, they are always quite educational in terms of technique, positions, and imagination. But now to get your educational process started, here are my tips: TIP #1 - You may not be the first lover in her life, but there may be lots of sexual activities that she has never experienced. She will remember you as being special if you are the first person she ever saw ejaculate, or masturbate, or had oral sex with. TIP #2 - Sexual denial by the man can be very effective for a woman's long term dependence on you. A friend once told me that he always left his women "one screw short" so that they would always be coming back for more. They would be left with desire. Don't forget, however, that denial is something to be done occasionally and it is only effective when the sex she is being denied is the best sex of her life. TIP #3 - Don't forget that each girls is an opportunity for practice. Practice different positions and activities, and observe her reaction and level of pleasure from them. Your primary goal should be her pleasure, her fulfillment, her orgasm. TIP #4 - Take off her clothes when making love. Single women love it when guys take off her clothes. It makes her feel sexy and turned on, especially when you remove her bra and panties. Just take your time and do it gently, slowly, with lots of tenderness.
TIP #5 - Light a candle before making love. A candle is the perfect lighting for lovemaking. It creates a romantic atmosphere and makes a woman feel sexier and more relaxed. TIP #6 - This final tip - Be the best you can be sexually. Single women want to be satisfied sexually by a good lover. If you're not good in bed she may lose interest in you and find someone else who can satisfy her needs. If you are a good lover and bring her immense pleasure and passionate orgasms, she will literally be begging to have sex with you again and again. She won't be able to get enough of you!
She's probably not sexually attracted to you If a single woman is not as sexually interested in you for romance as you are in her, then your relationship has a basic weakness that may be an insolvable problem. In other words, if you are the only one making sexual advances, if you feel as though it's a battle to get her interested or aroused, if she never takes the initiative to make the right time and place for sex to occur, if she's not interested in exploring new positions or locations, if she's never interested in round 2 or 3, or if she never initiates spur of the moment sex, then she's probably not sexually attracted to you. Oh, she likes you fine, and you are convenient to her at this time in her life. You provide security, you are safe, or for any of a thousand reasons she is with you, but she's not sexually interested in you. And that makes your hold on her very weak. When you are no longer convenient to her, or she meets someone who does turn her on, you have no further hold on her and she's gone. Don't fall for her excuses. The specific ones: This isn't the right time; I don't feel well; not here, someone might come by; that hurts me; I just took a shower; we don't have time. Or the general ones: I'm still suffering from a bad relationship and need time; I have a lot of important things on my mind; I'm overweight and self-conscious about my body. These are just that, excuses. She may actually believe them but don't you fall for them. If she was really sexually attracted to you, then there would be no need for excuses. Things aren't going to get better. There will always be an excuse. This situation is bad for you not only because of your frustration, but because of your self-esteem. Constantly being told by someone's actions that you are not sexy is not good for your self-image. So when there is no sexual magic, start looking for her replacement. Don't dump her until you've found one because your search is easier when you have a girl - but start looking today. 146
The Way To Break Up With Her Breaking Up Is Hard To Do There is only one way to break up with someone. Tell it to her in person. Some books and web sites suggest and encourage the use of devices such as electronic greeting cards or even ICQ to break the news of your breakup to her. If you do, you are a cowardly man who obviously neither has the integrity nor the sincerity to tell her that your relationship is over. Using an electronic medium is not only insensitive, it also simply means that you will have to tell it to her in person yourself at a later date. You are merely postponing the inevitable as well as losing whatever shred of respect she had for you. Where To Go? I strongly suggest that when breaking up, you invite her out for lunch or dinner at the very same place you first met or had a date together. The symbolic significance of your relationship having come full circle will not be lost on both of you during your breakup. When telling her the awful truth, you should have a solemn face and say the words like you mean them. I really hope you do. Telling her in person is never easy, breaking up never is, and you owe it to her to tell the news of your breakup to her personally. Not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but in the flesh. The Breakup Due to the fact that she might get emotional when you tell her the sad truth, you might want to breakup with her somewhere hidden from the public eye. When breaking up, come clean. There is no room for any white washing or delaying. That will only make matters worse and further prolong your agony. Think of breaking up not only as the end to a bad relationship, but rather as an end to the beginning. New doors will be opened and new opportunities will come by. You are closing a chapter of your life and at the same one, starting a new one as well. Each person thinks that their own breakup is unique and must have been the most traumatic in all history. The truth of the matter is that breakups always follow the same pattern and somehow, life goes on. You will meet new people, go new places and your breakup will be but a distant memory, a signpost in your checkered and colorful life.
Feelings Of Guilt If you are the one initiating the breakup, you will feel at least some guilt. To break up with someone is one of the meanest things you can possibly do to anyone, ever. Breaking up with someone is not just rejection, it is much more than that. To be rejected by someone you have shared your thoughts with, someone who you love deeply, is heart wrenching indeed. It is just like saying, "I've seen the kind of person who you are and I don't think you're the one for me. Go away." Why Feel Guilty? In order to exorcise these feelings of guilt during your breakup, just tell yourself that: You are actually helping her because you have avoided a messy divorce if both of you had been married. You are the one that is bringing her happiness as she does not deserve a jerk like you. You are giving her independence and she no longer will be trapped in a relationship doomed to failure. She can now concentrate on building a successful career and when she is a billionaire, she will thank you for it. These suggestions are all rather extreme but believe me, they work wonders getting rid of those pesky feelings of guilt I have whenever I'm about to break up with someone. The bottom line is this. You are the one who is doing her a favor and so you should not feel guilty at all. Of course, this is only from the dumper's perspective. The dumpee does not view it this way at all.
Breakup Speech Dear ________,(her name) I know this is hard for you but our relationship is really not working out and I feel we cannot go on like this. I think you are a wonderful person and that you really do not deserve a jerk like me.
I have felt this way for a long time now and I thought we would be able to work things out. I am so sorry that I have to hurt you like this and you deserve better. I hate myself for doing this to you but we have to move on. It is not your fault and I will always cherish the time spent with you. It's over but don't worry, we can still be friends.
The Breakup Speech should only be used as a template. For maximum effectiveness, you must customize your breakup speech to suit your relationship. I strongly suggest that you break the news to her personally, not on the phone, but face to face.
She Dumps You She dumps you The Bomb "I'm leaving you." Upon hearing those three dreaded words, most men are stunned into silence. There is a time delay of about 3.3467 seconds before the brain starts working again and the grim realization that whatever you once had, the moments you enjoyed together, the jokes you shared with her, the times when you would whisper sweet nothings into her ear, are gone forever. So this is how it ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Why Me? All good things come to an end. At this point, roughly 6.342 seconds after she said those three dreaded words, most people go into denial. "You can't leave me!" "I cannot live without you!". Upon realizing the futility of their efforts, they try to resort to begging. "I'm sure we can work things out!" "Give me a second chance!". What You Should Do Instead Identify the reason(s) for the breakup. There are mainly 4 reasons why people go through a breakup. You did something that angered her (cheated on her, lied to her etc). Crises of circumstance. Maybe she wants to go for a career, the parents discourage the relationship (common in Asian countries) etc. There is someone else. She simply lost interest in you (does not necessarily mean there is someone else). Normally, the reason why she is breaking up with you is never clear cut. It could be a combination of two, maybe three of the above. Your job is stop your pathetic whimpering and identify them. Cry if you like. It is natural to let loose your emotions but never lose sight of your primary goal, to get her to tell you why she broke up with you in the first place.
The simple, "Could you please honestly tell me why you are breaking up with me?" should work since she most likely has prepared a list of answers for you. Once you have identified the reasons, it's time to formulate a plan of action as suggested in the next chapter on getting her back.
Getting her back Getting her back after the breakup is going to cost you time and money. Before you decide to go any further, stop. Think. Do you really want to get back together again? Occasionally, both parties think breaking up is for the best and go their separate ways peacefully. Having determined which factors caused your breakup as explained in the previous chapter, you can now develop a plan of action. Your whole plan is based on the assumption that she feels unhappy, and a little bit guilty after the breakup and that she is undecided about jumping in a new relationship just yet. Time is of the essence so you must act fast. A word of caution here. Since your whole plan is based on the assumption that she is unhappy. If there is already someone else in her life, your plan will most likely fail since she already is happy and therefore does not need you anymore. Plan Of Action Your whole strategy involves trying to persuade her to listen to your reasons why breaking up is a mistake. Call her up, preferably the day after she broke up with you and tell her that you would like to talk to her. When she agrees, they usually do, make reservations at a fancy restaurant and order a large bouquet of red roses. Cutting corners will not do here. You either go all out or don't bother at all. At the restaurant, tell her that you love her very much and that you hope she will forgive her for whatever you have done wrong (even if you have not done anything at all). Do not forget to add that she looks absolutely stunning. Make clear that if both of you were to break up, the past 2 years (or whatever time you both spent together) would go to waste. Tell her that you know deep down inside that if both of you were to work really hard to get this relationship back on track, the rewards will be worth reaping. Imply that if she left you, both of you would be left miserable. That you were very lucky to find such a wonderful person and that never in a million years will you find someone like her again. Praise her, flatter her, commend her. Whatever it takes to get her back. If you do succeed, my sincere congratulations to you. If not, well... tough luck. These things happen.
Post Breakup Advice Post Breakup Advice So you have been dumped. Welcome to the club! You and about a zillion other people. Face it, the average US citizen goes through around five breakups before entering marriage. Chances are, if this is your first breakup, there will be many more to follow. I am not suggesting that it is okay to break up with your girlfriend, I am just trying to make clear that breaking up is a fact of life and you will probably be going through a lot more breakups before settling down. Mourning Life is like a bed of roses. Full of thorns everywhere. Directly after the breakup, it's okay to feel sad, even to cry. At this point of time, life looks bleak indeed. I would suggest giving yourself a mourning period of about 2-3 months to wallow in your depression. Some people take over a year to get over their lost loves. Mope around all day if you want to, but after the 3 months, get on with your life. Moving On With Your Life If you're still feeling depressed, get your friends over and talk about it. They will encourage you and tell you that she was a waste of time anyway and that you deserve better. After that, you'll feel a whole lot better inside and a lot more confident because you know your friends are behind you all the way. Most people hesitate to find a new girlfriend after their breakup because they feel guilty inside. Their subconscious tells them that they are betraying her. This is completely natural since you still are thinking about her. The only way to overcome this is to go out and meet new people, something which should come easy to you if you have gone through the rest of this book. After a year or so, you might begin to see the wisdom in breaking up and look back and say, "Yeah. Good thing I broke up then, If I hadn't, I'd still be stuck with so and so" Having gone through your previous relationship, you will be able to handle future relationships with more confidence and maturity.
Ex Girlfriend Survival Guide After I had realized that girls were not disgusting as I always stated when I was in kindergarten, I began hunting down for a girlfriend. Unfortunately I wasn't sure what I was looking for, nor was I aware of the dangers involved in a relationship. I just thought "hey, I'm horny, she looks cute, I want her". Of course that is morally wrong and just plain bad of thinking of girls like that, but I was young and immature. I didn't know any better. I still don't know any better, but that's another story. After many unsuccessful relationships, I decided to settle down with someone that could put up with me and not complain about my weird behavior or my fascination toward goats. All was well, life was good. Then one day, for no apparent reason, the ex-girlfriend called. Now you see, an ex-girlfriend will normally not call you for the simple reason she hates you. In her eyes you are the scum of the earth. Pure evil. Bad. And as far as she is concerned, the reason it all ended was your fault. This will not only cause the unfortunate effect that she will spew evil about you, but also fuel the myth of all men being scum. I'm a nice guy. Honest. On a more positive side, if you are walking down the street with your new girlfriend, and she sees you, nothing will happen. She knows better than to make a fool out of herself on in a public place. You will both cross each other on the sidewalk, and when you are past their ear range, she can talk evilly about you to her partner. But This One Called Back You see, she decided one day that I was just not cool enough and told me right there and then that it was over. Bob over there had a better car, a leather jacket and he wore those really cool shoes that everyone was raving about. For a while I sat there picking up the pieces of my heart, feeling miserable and all. I started listening to really corny music, sighed and sobbed a lot. Then I thought about it and I said "you know what? This was the best thing that ever happened". I dropped my heart pieces to the ground and walked away, my brain trying to convince my emotions it was okay to move on. Her Techniques The ex-girlfriend called back and began pulling the typical alone-ex-girlfriend techniques: Usually, after the little trick "do you know who this is?" she will start talking about how miserable she is now that the guy she dumped you for, dumped her for another girl. You have been introduced to what I call the "I've been dumped" technique. This has the effect of making you think "she's single again! Maybe she'll want me back!"
Now this has worked in a few cases that I have witnessed, but think about it: she left you for a silly reason and now she wants you back. Last time you checked you are not a spare tire. I usually point out how shitty that must have felt and that you know that feeling already (hint hint). By now she is hoping you feel sorry for her, which is the first step in bringing out those old feelings you had. The best defense is to start talking of how happily involved you are with your new girlfriend, of how great she is, and describe with miniscule and painful detail all the things she does that she never did. The conversation will not last long, she will never call back. She calls again. I guess she is a little more stubborn then we originally assumed. You'll notice that this time conversation will be more casual, and she will be very careful in saying anything that will spark you in talking about your girlfriend. In fact, she is somewhat smarter this time. Be careful, she will use the "Past Approach". She will talk about times prior to your girlfriend of when the two of you were dating and the wonderful moments you spent together. A good deadly reply that always shuts them up is "yeah, going out with you was a good, growing experience. Now I know what I don't want in a woman". A nuclear bomb would have done less damage. After that blow you can rest assured she will not call you ever again. Unfortunately she has not been convinced yet and she calls again for another blow. Her mental attacks will be a little stronger and clearer this time. She will bring up the letters and poems you have written her and start reading them to you. At first you'll be surprised she still has them, and this might cause you to start feeling again just because she didn't throw anything of you away (even if at the time she said she had). "Do you remember this poem you wrote me?" she will ask. Answer with the carefully tested answers. Con scientists have determined that this works best with a little pause prior to speaking with a disgusted tone: "I wrote that shit to you? What was I thinking..." Guys, don't forget to throw your letters away. Your current girlfriend doesn't like finding that stuff in your house. More Techniques She will call you. Tell her you are busy because.. uh... your girlfriend is over. She will ask you to call her back. Say "sure". Don't forget to "Forget" to call back. Her final and desperate move will be to invite you out for a coffee or dinner. At first I thought, it would be wise to decline. If I accept, my girlfriend will have my head, and my ex might will think that finally I have come to my senses and I want her back. My girlfriend surprisingly more evil and diabolical than me told me I should go. Dress nice, look spiffy and don't forget to shine your shoes. If you got a nice shirt your girlfriend gave you, make sure you wear it.
Finally you get to see her. Tell her how she has changed, she looks a little shorter... did you put on some weight? (that comment works better than a stun-gun. Notice the twitch on her eyebrow). She will compliment you on how nicely you are dressed and you get to reply with "yeah, my girlfriend bought me this really nice shirt". Spend the next 15 minutes discussing about her great clothing tastes, and how that reminds you how great she looked just the other day when... don't overdue it though. The waiter will grab your drink order, and she will take this chance to ask you, after dribbling the question around a bit, if you are interested in getting back with her. While looking over the menu, reply with the patented answer "no, not really... but we can still be friends... hmmm, this looks good!" and point out to her how the pasta All'Arrabbiata is great and she should try it. Congratulations! You have destroyed her. She will sit there looking miserable (make sure you ask "you look so down, what's the matter?" - being a woman she will answer you with a typical "nothing" answer). Notice how she will hardly touch the food, this most likely caused by a the deadly combo "did you gain weight?" question and your "let's be friends" answer. I will probably get criticized for my childish behavior, but I can't help it. I am evil and vengeful and I always enjoy my steaming and evil plotting. I find it better to conclude this with the wise words of a friend: "ex-girlfriends should be handled like nuclear waste. Bury them in the ground and hope they're harmless in 10,000 years."
Recognizing and Avoiding Traps Games Single Women Play to Test You Here's a chapter which will open your eyes to some head games single women play on men. Another typical female behavior is to test you at the very beginning of your relationship to see if you are going to put up with her garbage. Actually, she is testing you for two reasons: First, she needs to find out the limits of what you will view as "her acceptable behavior." She does not know you well enough yet, she is in unfamiliar territory. And that can be very "scary." So, she needs to find out what behavior is expected or accepted of her. The uncertainty makes her feel very uncomfortable, totally out of her, "Comfort Zone." Second, she needs to find out, she must find out how strong and sure of yourself you really are. Some women can be very insecure. The very last thing a woman really wants and needs is an insecure and weak nice guy who is easily manipulated and controlled by her. Therefore, she really wants and needs a strong man who will control her and tell her what to do, a man confident enough to stand up to her when she needs it, a man who will make her feel secure, a man who will give her that sense of security she so desperately needs. She sometimes cannot get that sense of security from herself because she may have so little self-confidence and self-esteem. She may even believe that she has very few talents and abilities - except for her physical features and beauty. It can be very frightening. Therefore, she tries to get that sense of security "by osmosis" from you. Plus the added benefit that she won't have to worry about the hard decisions. You will make them for her. WARNING! If you are tolerant and patient (like all nice guys) you will not pass her test, she will walk all over you, she will leave you and go after another jerk because he looks so uncontrollable, so untamable, so strong and therefore, so desirable to her.
Don't Be a Victim of the Pregnancy Trap! Some single women, and unfortunately you do not know which ones, use pregnancy as a way to trap you into marrying them. Or at least, you will be stuck with a child you never wanted or expected for the rest of your life. And you will pay up to your ears. Men are so stupid that they do not make women responsible for their bodies and their pregnancies. Listen, if they run the risk of getting pregnant they should not "spread your legs" around. And if they do get pregnant, they should not blame anybody else but themselves. After all, no guy could get in if these women kept their legs crossed and closed very tight. Why should we men take care of women's bodies? Why is it that we men are the ones who have to wear condoms so they don't get pregnant? We men don't ever get pregnant. Women do. Therefore, women should both protect themselves and take full responsibilities for their pregnancies, unless a man and his woman decide willingly to have a child. Unfortunately, the laws are so distorted in women's favor that men don't have a chance. Notice also that when women want to get pregnant and are happy with their pregnancies, they say; "I am pregnant. I am so happy because I am going to have a baby." But when they want to nail you or the pregnancy was unplanned they say: "You got me pregnant." And listen to their mommies and daddies saying: "You got our daughter pregnant." They never tell the honest truth that "Our daughter got pregnant because she was spreading her legs around." As if their daughter was this pure, innocent, virginal girl who just happened to be praying when unexpectedly, high from above, this blob of holy semen came down and impregnated her. And it was not her fault at all, poor thing. Nonsense. Most likely, she was "sleeping around" without even taking "birth control" pills expecting, as all women do, that you protect her from getting pregnant. What a joke. Since condoms are not 100% failure-proof, I order and command you to always wear condoms in conjunction with spermicide and any additional contraceptive you can come up with. My good fellow, take all necessary precautions to: Protect yourself from any Sexually Transmitted diseases, and avoid the "Deadly Pregnancy Trap."
Are You Staying in a Bad Relationship Just to Have a Woman? Some men think that it's better to have a woman - any woman - than no woman at all. My friend, nothing could be further from the truth. By being trapped in a bad or unsatisfying relationship that doesn't satisfy your needs, you are in a sense preventing yourself from attracting other eligible single women by projecting yourself as unavailable. Also, by staying in a bad relationship just to have a woman can indicate that you are suffering from some underlying psychological problems, in that you are overly emotionally dependent on women, and that you may suffer from low self-esteem because that you feel that you are nothing without a woman. Believe me, when I tell you that it's just not worth it to stay in a bad relationship until someone better comes along. The problem is that you could be waiting forever. In conclusion, if you are stuck in a bad relationship, you owe it to yourself and her to find out why it's not working out - and if the relationship can't be improved, it's best to end the relationship and get on with your life. Life's just too short to spend all your time with someone who makes you miserable.
Are You Spoiling Your Chances for Love and Romance? A lot of guys fall into the trap of thinking that there's only one girl out there in the whole wide world for them and when they find her it will be the key to their happiness forever. The real truth is that you could be perfectly happy with any number of women that come along in your life at the right time. It's all a matter of both parties being willing to commit to building a relationship built on love, commitment, compromise, and trust. Another mistake is to think you can find the perfect girl for you. When I say perfect, I'm saying a girl with no flaws or shortcomings. There has never been a perfect person on earth except God. We all have flaws in our makeup and personalities. We just can't be perfect every day to everyone. At some point we are always going to do something or say something that the opposite sex does not agree with.
If you can accept the fact that no one woman is perfect, you'll have a lot easier time accepting her as she is and not try to change her or criticize her for being the way she is. Always, always live your love life by this creed: If you can't accept a woman as she is, then move on. It's not fair for the both of you, especially when she does not get the respect and dignity that she deserves.
Be on the Lookout for Single Women Who Use You for Financial Purposes I need you to be aware of and be on the lookout for single women that will just use you for financial purposes. She's not interested in you, just what she can get out of you. I call these women Gold-Diggers and you need to avoid them. This woman is only interested in taking you for your money and whatever else she can get out of you. Sure, you may get a few dates but it's only to eat at fancy restaurants, drive your fancy car, going on extravagant dates, out-of-town trips, to get nice gifts or money from you, etc. She's just using you and stringing you along. After dishing out all this money and expenses, she may not even sleep with you either. It's all an act to tease you and use you. She may act like she's interested in you, but she's only interested in what she can get out of you. Look for these signs when you first meet this type. She will ask you questions like these: • • • • • •
What do you do for a living? How much money do you make? Do you own your own home? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have a boat? What kind of watch are you wearing?
Questions like these could indicate that she's a Gold-Digger. If she finds out that you are not a man of financial means, she's not going to date you. So, if you determine that a single woman that you are interested in is a Gold-Digger, move on to someone else. I don't know about you, but I hate being used by a woman for my money or a woman is just interested in my assets instead of me as a person.
Freedom People have a natural need to preserve their emotional freedom. You need to recognize this. You can not press the issue and talk her out of giving it up. She has to come to her own conclusion that a relationship with you is preferable to an independent single existence. The prime reason will be because you satisfy her emotional needs. That is what you must work on. Of course, this works both ways. You will have to make the same sacrifice. That is what makes relationships so difficult. The conditions and circumstances must be right for both parties. Unfortunately, the Beatles were not quite correct when they sang, "All you need is love." You must have boundaries. You probably already do without recognizing them as such. A boundary is an invisible line between you and another person. You have to maintain your identity as a unique person in any relationship. There is an old saying, "good fences make good neighbors." No matter how close and intimate you become with someone, you must preserve your self-respect. Good boundaries make good relationships. They must be in place and clear to both parties early in the dating process. It works both ways. Some men do not respect the boundaries of single women. They will be jealous, possessive and controlling. Don't violate a single woman's boundaries. Don't let her violate yours.
"I know just the girl for you!" If a relative calls you and says, "I know just the girl for you!" - be very cautious. The problem is that they have no idea what you are looking for. If you implement the ideas in this book you will develop a clear idea of the type of person you are seeking. They only know what they think would be good for you. Also they are trying to help someone they know. (Why does she need all this help?) Women love to do this. They cannot tolerate a salt shaker without a peppershaker. It's in their genes. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, a single woman abhors an available, unmatched male. Beware. You will be set up on a blind date with a minimal chance of success. When the date is over, the "matchmaker" will call and say, "Well, what did you think? Isn't she terrific?" Now, what do you say? You will end up hurting Aunt Hilda's feelings and struggling through an uncomfortable cup of coffee with her best friend's daughter who is determined to start a mink farm and have at least seven children. So how do you handle referrals? In spite of the last paragraph, this is to be encouraged. You see, the example in the previous paragraph was unsolicited. You have to be in control. It's called networking - simple. Try to arrange a meeting with a group of people. ("A bunch of us are going to the Arts Festival this weekend. Why don't you and Fred bring Karen and we can meet?" - Very safe for both of you.) Avoid spending an evening at the well-meaning couple's home for dinner. It will be the longest night of your life.
Should You Date Commitaphobic Single Women? I want to alert you to a certain type of single woman that can cause you problems. I call this type of woman, "The Commitaphobic." Let me describe The Commitaphobic to you: The Commitaphobic single woman is confused. She really has little idea of what she wants from a relationship, and often breaks up and then comes back only to break up again. She hates being alone, but likewise is incapable of making a solid commitment. There is nothing wrong, or evil about her, she is simply undecided as to what part she wants you to play in her future. She is happy to "coast" along, for months or even years if you let her, but as soon as you do or say anything that looks like tying her down, she runs a mile, only to come back and ask for one more chance. The problem here develops when you keep taking her back. This tells her that she can treat you like a door mat, come and go as she pleases, and only ever give you dribs and drabs of her love. The longer and longer it goes on the less she understands what, or who it is she wants in her life, if anyone. The only possible solution is to not take her back next time she leaves. That way she can get the experience she needs with other people to eventually come to a decision about the kind of person she can really commit to. If you aren't it, then it's better to know now rather than after she's taken years of your youth. Years that in the meantime you can use to find someone who does know what they want. P.S. I never really intended to focus on the negative aspects of meeting single women. But, I feel that single men need to be exposed to the dark side of meeting the wrong type of women. I want you to be happy and be able to recognized when women may be playing head games with you. Obsessed women A woman could fool herself about her relationship with a man only as long as he was around. The moment he had left, she would drop all pretense, and no wonder; at that moment her heart would break and that awful, awful sickness begin: the agony, the hopeless yearning with every fiber of her body, every nerve, for his presence his touch; her every waking thought, her every dream would be centered on him in unbearable, selfinflicted torture. She pursues you relentlessly. The woman will not let you alone. She embarrasses you in public places by inappropriate displays of affection. She calls at inopportune times and turns up at your door without warning. She interrupts your work and intrudes into your 161
private business. Her professed "love" for you complicates your life. Your devoted admirer has become an annoyance, a damned nuisance, a scourge. Having a woman completely enthralled by you, obsessed with you, totally and entirely "in your power" is the stuff of fantasy, and adolescent fantasy at that. Certainly, having a woman "hanging all over you" might be flattering to your ego, but, for all that, it is an unhealthy state of affairs, a dubious way to run a relationship, a highly mixed blessing. It demeans the woman, distracts you from attending to your life's work, and drains your energy. It might well bring ruin upon the woman... and upon the object of her affections, you. What compels a woman to become smitten and enamored, entranced, obsessed, obsessed with a man, one particular man? How can a passion for one special person brutally enslave her heart and mind, giving her no rest, no peace? Why does she believe, uncompromisingly, that only this one man, distant, unobtainable, holds the promise of fulfillment for her? The obsessed woman wants the unobtainable, precisely that which she cannot have, the man who is beyond her grasp. She may fixate upon a man already married or in an established relationship, or one totally unsuitable for reasons of age difference or other cultural barriers. Inacessibility and resistance superheat her passion past all normal bounds. This is the notorious "Romeo and Juliette" effect, familiar to generations of frustrated lovers. The obsessed woman falls in love with an "ideal", a picture in her mind, not a real person, and she develops the conviction, nurtures the illusion that this man is her one and only soulmate. If the man fails to respond, if he denies her... even this enhances his "specialness", his aura of mystery and desirability. She is lost. The obsessed woman has gaps, blank spots in her life. She is unfulfilled, incomplete, desolate. She is driven to fill the emptiness, the void within her. Her frantic pursuit of a man is a cry of desperation, an expression of the search for purpose and meaning in life that at some level must move all humans. The subject of mad, obsessive love has received extensive attention in literature and the arts. For further reference, consider Tolstoy's novel, Anna Karenina, not to mention the movies Play Misty and, of course, Fatal Attraction.
Why You Should Avoid Women Who Flirt & Power Single Women Now I want to warn you about getting involved with these two types of single women:
The Natural Flirt She's very attractive and she flirts with you. You interpret this as her expression of interest in you. She's exciting to be around because she constantly shows her affection. She flatters you often. You can't believe the attention she gives you. Soon you're in a relationship together. Now a problem arises. She doesn't limit her flirting to you alone. Before you know it she's all over your best friend, and she doesn't even bother to hide it. When you ask what's going on, she can't understand your concern, because to her flirting is as natural as talking. Power Single Women Power women, dresses to kill, drives the expensive car, never leaves the house without perfect make up and a mobile phone, and lives for her career. All her time and energy goes into her job. A job for which she feels the need to appear perfect at all times. She pencils you into her personal organizer, between sales meetings. If you're lucky she spends money on you, like that makes up for the lack of quality time together. She's intent on changing you. She wants you to earn more, and dress better, and live up to her high standards. She's strong to the point of being dominant and really has no interest in love other than the physical and superficial aspects of it. Within a few months she's spotted someone else more promising, and dumps you over the phone on her way to a "get rich quick" seminar.