Attitude - January 2015

ATTITUDE.CO.UK JANUARY 2015 £4.45

SEX

ATLANTIS’ JA CK DONNELLY & STEREO KICKS’ BARCLAY BEALES STRIP TRAVIS MATHEWS I D I N A M E N Z E L

SEX DISASTERS MONOGAMY VS OPEN RELATIONSHIPS CAN PrEP BEAT HIV? MEL B: ‘I WAS INTO GIRLS AT 17’

THE UK'S BEST-SELLING & AWARD-WINNING GAY MAGAZINE

THE

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They call us the City of Angels But don’t let that fool you

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If you like your days cool and your nights hot, there’s no better place to visit than Los Angeles. Sunny beaches, friendly people, world-class museums, endless shopping, sexy bars and nightclubs, thrilling theme parks, trend-setting restaurants, bustling ethnic neighborhoods, wicked comedy clubs, and more. There is not just one gay neighborhood in this glittering metropolis of 15 million people. You could explore a different gay enclave every day and night of the week: Downtown, Silver Lake, Hollywood, Studio City, Venice, and, of course, West Hollywood.

It’s all waiting for you. What are you waiting for? discoverLosAngeles.com/gayLA

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FLAGSHIP STORE: 83A BREWER STREET

LONDON

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ONLINE STORE: WOLSEY.COM

JANUARY 2015 • ATTITUDE.CO.UK

68

GETTING COSY WITH JACK DONNELLY OF BBC ONE’S ATLANTIS

EDITOR’S LETTER & INBOX

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117 ACTIVE

FEATURES

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THE A-LIST CULTURE CLUB: OUTSIDE MUSIC & FILM REVIEWS GRATUITOUS NAKED: BARCLAY BEALES EASTERN BOYS JOE STONE IS ON IT PAUL FLYNN IS OVER IT PARIS IS BURNING JUST KEEP SINGING BGF: IDINA MENZEL

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SEX, SEX, SEX! EVERYTHING FROM YOUR DILEMMAS TO YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING ANECDOTES, WE GET INSIDE YOUR SEX LIVES IN HIS ROOM WRITER AND DIRECTOR TRAVIS MATHEWS’ ACCOUNT OF ISOLATION AND MODERN TECHNOLOGY OVER TIME LET’S GET PREPPED PATRICK CASH SITS IN ON A RECENT YOUNG PEOPLE’S DISCUSSION OF HIV AND ‘WONDERDRUG’ PREP IN SOHO MEL B THE NEVER KNOWINGLY UNDERSOLD SPICE GIRL TALKS OPENLY ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND A BIG YEAR NATT WELLER WE CHAT TO THE BISEXUAL SON OF ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN ROCK

JAKE LOCKHART REAL BODIES DR CHRISTIAN DAN OSBORNE

91 STYLE

REPLAY HYPERFLEX STORY: THE BETTER YOU LOOK MOST STYLISH READER

132 CONTEXT

IAIN DALE DATING R U COMING OUT? LIFE LESSONS TRAVEL: ZURICH TRULY MADLY DEEPLY PROPERTY HOW GAY? ASHLEY JENSEN

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Matthew Todd is away

W

elcome to our 2014 Sex Issue – starring the thoroughly delectable Mr Chris Mears and his equally beautiful Team GB friends Tom Haffield, Martin Cremin and Ieuan Lloyd. These boys make Britain great on the international sporting stage – and even better, spend their entire working lives in tiny speedos, which has sure as hell has brightened our winter months. Hopefully you’ll agree this is one of the most delicious celebrations of male beauty we have had in our magazine. It’s more homoerotic than Top Gun-meets-300-meets-Rocky. And that’s before we get to the gorgeous Atlantis star Jack Donnelly or the very handsome eighth of The X Factor’s Stereo Kicks’ Barclay Beales in their pants. And that’s how we like it! There’s more sex in this issue than you can shake a stick at: Good sex, bad sex, sex with and without boundaries. Hopefully there is more than just titillation but also food for thought – from director Travis Matthews, to dark new thriller Eastern Boys and the latest news on the trials of PrEP in both Britain and France. As we’ve mentioned before, PrEP has the capacity to transform the lives of millions of HIV negative men, but it’s a complicated situation fraught with controversy. If we are to make sense of the challenges which face us as a community, it’s important that we continue to have honest conversations about sex. For all people, but particularly LGBT folk, so much sex still takes place in the shadows. Shame is a hard thing to live down, and many of us – especially those of us who have grown up in a religious setting – still feel the burn of that judgement. The logical lesson of that experience, of being judged in such a mean-spirited way – is that we grow beyond that and try our hardest not to be judgemental of other people. But as we know, the bullied become bullies and many gay people are among the most judgemental people out there. The painful thing is, they are really judging themselves all over again. Sexual repression can also have other long term impacts – there are some, who stem their continuing pain and shame with addictive sexual behaviour. And there are others, like

one of the people who writes to Joe Kort this month – who respond by withholding sex from partners. Those people may end up living out their sexual lives through pornography. Sex is a-maaazing when it works – but the key question is, is the kind of sex you are having making you happy? Also this month we delve into the controversial realm of open relationships. It’s hard to get reliable figures about what percentage of gay couples are monogamous – but I think it’s safe to assume the figure is a lot lower than that of those who are labouring under the illusion that they are monogamous. So what is the answer? To all rush headlong into open relationships because it’s not even worth trying to be faithful? That seems unnecessarily negative. As our feature this month shows, there are plenty of examples of successful monogamous and open relationships. The ones which flounder, open or closed, are the ones where there is not an honest dialogue between both partners. That applies to safe sex too. Surveys from the U.S. and Holland in the last few years have shown that more than half of HIV infections have come from main sexual partners. This is no time to be throwing away condoms while blinded by love or lust. Talking of honesty, this month also features the neverknowingly undersold Spice icon, Mel B. She’s the perfect accompaniment to our Sex Issue having spoken openly about her relationships and desires for men and women – and her choice to not be labelled. Sounds fair enough to me. Human sexuality is a complex and thrilling subject which is unlikely to be adequately covered in its entirety by the letters L, G, B and T. Have a great, sexy Christmas – and stay safe.

Andrew Fraser Deputy Editor

the uk’s best-selling gay magazine @attitudemag

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CONTRIBUTORS KEVIN MCDAID Former Attitude cover star Kevin McDaid has made a successful move from Noughties boybander (remember V?) to celebrity photographer, working his pop connections and natural Geordie charm to put the likes of Jessie J, Cheryl Cole and Cher Lloyd at ease in front of the camera. For this issue he shot Stereo Kicks’ chief hunk Barclay Beales, thus passing the boyband baton to the next generation. Aw.

RUSSELL DEAN STONE RDS is a fresh new voice, with his first Attitude feature in this month’s issue, discussing open relationships and monogamy. When he’s not writing features he’s writing epic synth pop songs. His cat just disappeared which is super sad, her name was Lucy Fur but that got changed to Pussycat – she was black. In fact, Russell only wears black and still isn’t sure if the beard he’s been growing is a good idea or not.

Editor MATTHEW TODD

[email protected]

Deputy Editor ANDREW FRASER

[email protected]

Assistant Editor CHRISTIAN GUILTENANE Art Director DAVID GRAHAM Designer LUCY HENDEL

[email protected]

[email protected]

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Editor at Large PARIS LEES

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Editorial Assistant & Staff Writer BEN KELLY Sub Editor AARON TOUMAZOU

[email protected]

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Acting Fashion Editor JOSEPH KOCHARIAN Fashion Assistant NICK BYAM

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Acting Web Editor WILL STROUDE

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Web Reporters SAM RIGBY & JOSH HAIGH Books Editor WILL DAVIS Film Editor MATT MUELLER

[email protected] [email protected]

Senior Contributing Editors SIMON EDGE / PAUL FLYNN / SIMON GAGE / JAMIE HAKIM / JOHANN HARI

TRAVIS MATHEWS Travis is an award-winning filmmaker whose films focus on gay men and intimacy. He is best known for I Want Your Love, and Interior. Leather Bar, which he created with James Franco. Promoting the latest instalment of film series In Their Room, he enriches this sex issue with his thoughts on the different sexual behaviours of gay men in capital cities around the world.

PHILIP REAY-SMITH / TIM TEEMAN (US EDITOR EAST COAST)

Interns

MATTHEW LANGHORN, JACKSON FORSTER ELLIOT BERRY, JAMIE SHAW

Commercial Manager ANDY GODDARD [email protected] 020 7608 6305

Sales Account manager JAMIE BOYLE [email protected] 020 7608 6351

Events Director ANNE-MARIE BRACKEN Events Assistant JONATHAN GILLESPIE-SIMS

ATTITUDE MEDIA LTD

ON THE COVER

Managing Director MIKE BUCKLEY

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Editorial Director MATTHEW TODD Chairman JUSTIN SANDERS Finance Director VINCE NICHOLLS Web Development ADAM OSBORN

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Next issue available to download January 2

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Attitude Magazine 33

Chris wears swim briefs by HOM at figleaves.com Martin wears swim briefs by Addicted at Bang+Strike Tom wears swim briefs by Speedo Ieuan wears swim briefs by WearMeUnder Photography: Sven Arnstein Styling: Joseph Kocharian

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Copyright © Attitude Media Ltd 2013 all rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the publishers. Unsolicited contributions must be accompanied by a stamped addressed envelope if they are to be returned. We cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts and photographs or for material lost or damaged in the post. Letters submitted to Attitude or its editors are assumed to be intended for publication in whole or in part. The mention or appearance or likeness of any person or organisation in articles or advertising in this publication is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. Newstrade distribution by Seymour Distribution Limited, 2 East Poultry Avenue, London EC1A 9PT. Tel 020 7429 4000. Published by Attitude Media Ltd. Printed by Benham Goodhead Print Limited

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THE UK'S BEST-SELLING & AWARD-WINNING GAY MAGAZINE

ATTITUDE.CO.UK DECEMBER 2014 £4.45

The

PISOSUPE WORLD AIDS DAY SPECIAL HELP, I HAVE JUST TESTED POSITIVE WHAT NOW?

CHERYL NADINE'S FULL OF S

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■ ANNIE LENNOX ■ X FACTOR'S JAKE WALTON GETS NAKED ■ ALAN CUMMING ■ PERFUME GENIUS

VICTORIA BECKHAM

ON THE FIGHT AGAINST HIV AND AIDS 12

STRIPS OFF!

NICK JONAS GETS SEXY

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C O N TA C T THE MAG

T I N Y U R L . C O M / FA C E B O O K A T T I T U D E T W I T T E R . C O M /AT T I T U D E M A G AT T I T U D E@ AT T I T U D E . C O . U K 3 3 P E A R T R E E S T R E E T, F I N S B U R Y, L O N D O N E C 1 V 3 A G

TheHeatedDebate

A NEW SURVEY HAS REVEALED THAT WHILE A MAJORITY OF PEOPLE SAY THEY SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS, FAR LESS ACTUALLY ‘APPROVE’ OF SEEING MEN KISS IN PUBLIC.

READERS’ TWEETS @StapleGayLife @harryhitchens great article in @AttitudeMag a-teen this month. Hope it guides a lot of people well!

@nickjonas Thanks to @attitudemag for having me on the cover!

I hate public displays of affection in general. Gay or Straight! DEREK, LONDON A kiss is one thing, making out and jamming your tongue down somebody’s throat is another, be it hetero or homo. RICHARD, FLORIDA

I don’t get how a quick kiss or holding hands in public is seen as disgusting or disrespectful. It’s two people showing love and affection for each other, and surely sharing love is better than displays of hatred or violence in public? ADAM, READING I kind of agree. Not just gay PDAs though... ANY! Just makes me uncomfortable when any couple gets slurpy in front of me. Yuck! TOM, BRIGHTON Why don’t you just ignore it if you don’t like it? If I had a boyfriend and we were comfortable we would kiss and hold hands in public. What’s happening to this world? CHRIS, CAMBRIDGE A quick kiss, little signs of affection; these things are adorable no matter what combination. When what you are doing is borderline foreplay, then you should probably save that for the bar or your house. JAY, TEXAS The difference is that even if you don’t like to see anyone kiss in public, straight people are unlikely to get abuse at best or risk a beating at worse. The social integration of gays into a multicultural and multifaith country is going to take much longer than legal rights. Evolvement will come from the actions of some brave gay men and women of whom, sadly I am not one. PAUL, ROMFORD

@DaleDiddly Catching up on some essential reading @AttitudeMag loving the @jwaltonmusic interview too!

I kiss and cuddle my partner in public all the time. When I know homophobes and people who get offended by ridiculous stuff are around it just makes me want to do it more. SAXON, MANCHESTER

@dazgale I don’t buy @AttitudeMag that often but Nick Jonas is on the cover of the latest issue so it would just be plain rude not to get it.

“Gosh, what a dilemma! I just saw a gay couple kiss!” PHILLIP, MELBOURNE Get the hell over it, no one wants to see straight people kiss in public either, but we endure it every day and still manage to keep our lunch down! THOMAS, ARIZONA

@benjamingardner Thank you @guy_interruptd and @AttitudeMag for an amazing and insightful feature on HIV and testing positive.

@robgillett Just read the excellent interview with @CherylOfficial in new issue of @AttitudeMag. Cheryl: 1 - Cheryl’s PR: 0

Who asked for their approval? ED, NEW YORK I am surprised that almost everyone is preaching against PDA as if it’s some real problem and they’re affected by it. “Its gross”, “Its wrong”, “Its disgusting” – Why? It’s a public display of affection. Not a live show for your benefit or a public execution! It’s affection. By definition the very marriage ceremony can be viewed as the ultimate PDA as well. JIRI, PETERBOROUGH

THE ARCHIVE

AU G U ST 2 0 0 8 - I S S U E 1 6 9

ME AND MR. JONES In this vintage Sex Issue, we gave you the lush Welsh hunk Steve Jones, stripped down, and it’s held a strong spot in our er, memory ever since. Also in that issue we had pre-hipster Solange, readers getting naked (what would a Sex Issue be without...) and John Barrowman exploring what it means to be gay. No better man for it.

NOMINATIONS FOR THE BEST CROSS-GENERATIONAL DIVA PAIRING OF THE MONTH ADELE AND BETTE MIDLER: Adele took time out from doing nothing to enjoy fine dining and top laughs with the Divine Miss M. We’d die to be a fly on the way. TAYLOR SWIFT AND BARBRA STREISAND: Babs ‘grammed this photo of her and La Swift and labelled it “Chart toppers” #iconic

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Every now and then a piece of kit comes along that is truly remarkable. The Wahl Lithium Ion range of clippers and trimmers deliver market leading run times – with up to 240* minutes from a single full charge. And, thanks to the superior Wahl Lithium Ion technology the ‘Quick Charge’ function will deliver up to 5 minutes* of clipping or trimming time from just a one-minute charge, meaning you can always look your sharpest even if you forget to charge! Wahl Lithium Ion Technology – Stays ready to use. Available online and in selected stores | Lithium Pro Stubble Trimmer Amazon, Boots, John Lewis, Tesco | Lithium Pro Clipper Amazon, Boots, Tesco | Full Wahl Lithium Ion range is available online and in selected stores Amazon, Argos, Asda, Boots, John Lewis, Littlewoods.co.uk, Sainsburys, Tesco, Very.co.uk Wahl Lithium Pro Clipper 100 minutes run time from 60 minutes charge. | Lithium Pro Stubble Trimmer 100 minutes run time from 60 minutes charge. | * Please check individual products for charge and run times.

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PHOTOGRAPHY: JOSEPH SINCLAIR

FILM TV MUSIC OPINION NEWS PERFORMANCE BOOKS BOYS

MEET BARCLAY BEALES, HOTTEST MEMBER OF STEREO KICKS 252_EDIT_OPENER_Barclay#.indd 15

PG. 30>>

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THE THINGS WE LOVE THIS MONTH

LIST ↑FASHION

WORDS: BEN KELLY & JOSEPH KOCHARIAN

FESTIVE FASHION: WINTER JUMPERS • Kopparberg have cosied up with Londonbased designer knitwear label Leutton Postle this winter to create ‘The Kopparberg’, a luxurious knitted jumper that brings to life the warm and festive Spiced Apple cider and is the perfect piece of clothing to embrace the colder weather in. Available for £150 from kopparbergleuttonpostle.bigcartel.com

↑EVENT

LA SOIREE • If panto’s not your thing, why not try La Soiree? It’s a Cirque du Soleil-type performance show with men stronger than the paintstripping vodka at G-A-Y, and of course they are all spectacularly scantily clad. Southbank Centre, London, until 11 January. ↑TRAVEL

GAY TRAVEL EXPO • Discover the hottest gay destinations for 2015 at the Gay Star Travel Expo, taking place at London’s Heaven nightclub. The expo hosts tourist boards and top travel brands ready to help you plan the best year of your life in travel. Stick around afterwards and enjoy a holiday themed club night! 17-18 January. Tickets are free, but book in advance from eventbrite.co.uk.

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EDIT_A LIST ↓FASHION

BACK TO BASICS Burton have tapped into their prestigious roots this season, using vintage references to bring sophisticated modernity to their collection, with inspiration from their eponymous founder Montague Burton. With a great selection of both formal and casual wear, inspired by fashions of the 1960s and the 90s, and there is plenty to keep you warm in the form of parkas, quilted jackets and double breasted overcoats. Their tailoring is slim fit, sleek and simple, for the everyday man looking to sharpen up his look. jacket, £89; trousers, £40; roll neck, £22; monk strap shoes, £55 burton.co.uk/montagueburton

↓MUSIC

BETTE MIDLER: ONE NIGHT ONLY Miss M will take to our screens for her very first UK TV special, performing all the hits, and being interviewed by the equally fabulous Joanna Lumley. ITV, 15 December.

↑FILM

INTO THE WOODS After nearly 20 years in the offing, Sondheim’s magical musical finally makes its way to the big screen this month, and it’s been worth the wait. An all star cast of Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, and even Tracey Ullman play out the story of what happened to your favourite fairytale characters after the happy ever after. WARNING: Everyone will sing. Released nationally on 9 January.

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EDIT_OPINION COMING OUT TEXT CONVOS Whether it’s between a father and a son or two 13 year old ‘bros’, it’s been a right old month for it.

GAY BULL RESCUED A gay bull destined for the abattoir in Ireland was rescued by the creator of The Simpsons: amazing.

HARRY STYLES Says gender doesn’t matter to him when choosing a parter. #halfwaythere

S CLUB 7 COME BACK It’s all fun and games until Jo is caught sexting Nigel Farage.

THE COMEBACK COMES BACK Lisa Kudrow’s genius comedy is the best sitcom about a reality TV show following the making of a sitcom about the making of a reality TV show about the making of a sitcom.

TAYLOR SWIFT Basically became queen of the world this month, on t’cover of TIME and all sorts.

UP DOWN BAND AID 30 So the re-record is a bit shit, let’s be honest, and on top of it people have just realised the whole thing’s a bit patronising and smug.

SLAMMING BAND AID 30 I mean, they are raising money and awareness, and what have you done for Ebola lately? Just let it go innit.

SLAMMING IN GENERAL Yeah, stop doing that.

WE CAN LAND ON A COMET TRAVELLING 55,000 KM PER HOUR But phone batteries can still barely last the day.

QATAR They’re going to find ‘creative’ solutions for LGBT visitors of the 2022 World Cup. So generous of you guys!

CLASS WARFARE In which taking photos of houses in a smug manner is the greatest crime.

KLASS WARFARE Who died and made Myleene leader of the opposition of the opposition?

Joe Stone IS ON IT twitter @Joe_Stone_

2015 WILL BE A YEAR OF NOT REPEATING THE MISTAKES I MADE IN 2014 I’m old enough and bitter enough to know that New Year’s resolutions don’t work. 2015 probably won’t be the year that I give up mainlining family bags of Minstrels in front of old episodes of Drag Race when I should be working. It’s unlikely that this will be the year when I stop pretending I’ve bothered to see the awful films of actors I’m sent to interview, when actually I just watched the trailer and read the plot summary on Wikipedia (sorry guys). If I’m honest, I probably won’t desist checking the internet history of any computer which I am left alone with for more than 40 seconds. By managing my expectations of what I can hope to achieve next year, I can minimise the degree of self-loathing usually associated with any (failed) attempt at selfimprovement. But hey, I’m not a total pessimist. Instead of attempting any fundamental overhaul of my character, I’ve instead decided to set myself the smaller target of not repeating any of the same mistakes that I made last year. In 2015, I hereby pledge not to: Be sick on my boyfriend’s mum Ingratiating yourself to your partner’s family can be tricky, so take some advice from someone who learned the hard way – don’t vomit on them. The time I recently vommed on my boyfriend’s mum was as bad, if not worse, than it sounds on paper. It happened at her older son’s 30th, when she found me outside with my head in my hands and took the words “I’ve had too much to drink and I really just need a bit of space and air” to mean “please hold me to your breast and try and engage me in a heart-to-heart until I violently chunder between your legs.” Needless to say I won’t be celebrating

NEEDLESS TO SAY I WON’T BE CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS WITH MY IN-LAWS. AND IF I DO, I WON’T ACCUSE ANYONE OF SPIKING MY DRINK

Christmas with my in-laws. And if I do, I won’t accuse anyone of spiking my drink, just in case the person I drunkenly accuse turns out to be a close family friend. Again. I won’t get overexcited during work drinks and drop trou in G-A-Y You know when you go for getting-toknow-you drinks with new colleagues and one things leads to another and you end up in G-A-Y Late? And the drinks keep flowing, and the hits keep coming and suddenly [•] Taylor Swift is ringing in your ears and you realise that no dance move can adequately express your love for her, so in the moment you decide that the only thing for it is to take your shorts off ? I promise not to do that – once was more than enough. Or tell someone about to have a baby that all human life is futile “Would you ever have kids?” asked my friend Dan, unintentionally spurring me into a ten minute monologue about how I’d read a piece claiming that global warming would see the planet reduced to a pulsing mass of diseased warlords within the next 50 years. “What’s the point in having kids if you’re only going to have to watch them die miserable deaths?” I mused. “It’s selfish really to reproduce out of sheer narcissism when the whole of humanity is on a downward trajectory. Besides, wouldn’t you just adopt?” In case you’re wondering, the reason Dan had asked was because he was about to tell me that his girlfriend was pregnant. Hope I didn’t kill his buzz. And I definitely won’t tell embarrassing anecdotes about myself to fill the silence This is your lot. Next year I’m going to be a picture of restraint, dignity and decorum. And if I can’t manage that, I’m definitely not going to puke on anyone. Baby steps.

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EDIT_gadgets Fleshlight launchpad

Holding your iPad is so last year. You’ve probably heard of the Fleshlight, but a new accessory from the company, the Fleshlight Launchpad, is a case that will allow you to hold your iPad at the same time as the Fleshlight, bringing a whole new hands-free experience to the, er, experience. Fleshlight.com,£20

Pulse

The Pulse is made from flexible silicon and fits around your penis offering gentle vibrations to stimulate you while wearing. Chargeable via USB, you can vary the speeds depending on what you are after via the buttons on the side. Thankfully the device expands as you do. hotoctopuss.com, £68.99

Gadgets Sex Toys

Going it alone never felt so good with these four hot new self-love gizmos Words by Stuart Miles, founder of pocket-lint.com

Tenga Black Flip Hole

Tenga’s most innovative male sex toy, the case flips open to reveal a number of different bumps, nodules, nubs and ridges to offer maximum pleasure. But if that isn’t enough, it comes with three different lubes (including menthol). lovehoney.co.uk. £63.99

Rends A10 Ultimate Piston Vibrating Male Masturbator

Promising to throb, suck and stroke you, this Japanese monster comes with a remote control, seven intense vibration modes and even the option to pause midenjoyment if you need to build your stamina. Those looking to turn up the power can opt to plug it into the wall so it never runs low on batteries. lovehoney.co.uk,£250

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EDIT_THE RULES

THE RULES: OF GAY SEX ON SCREEN Film and TV can be all smoke and mirrors, especially when it comes to gay sex scenes...

NO LUBE (OR EVEN WARNING) IS NEEDED: HURRAH!

THE SEX DIDN’T REALLY HAPPEN IF JAMES FRANCO DIDN’T VIDEO IT.

PRISON TURNS EVERYONE GAY. EVEN LESBIANS.

‘ANAL SHAME’ CAN BE CURED WITH A GOOD BUGGERING FROM RUSSELL TOVEY.

ERR, NOT EVERY GAY CHARACTER HAS TO HAVE SEX ON SCREEN.

WEEKEND LONG SEX SESSIONS MUST BE BROKEN UP WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CHAT.

HOT SEX ADDICTS WILL RECEIVE A GAY BLOW JOB ONLY WHEN DESPERATE.

GAY FIRST BASE IS RIMMING: SORRY, BUT IT’S FACT.

IF YOU’RE ON SCREEN WITH BARROWMAN, YOU WILL HAVE SEX WITH BARROWMAN.

WORDS: BEN KELLY

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Paris BURNING EDIT_OPINION

DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT BEING TRANS NEED A NEW ANGLE

FRANCOFILES THIS MONTH: JAMES BECAME ZACHARY QUINTO’S LOVER FOR UPCOMING FILM MICHAEL. GO JAMES! (AND ZACHARY).

HISTORIC LANDING ON HUGE BODY OF MASS

History was made this month as scientists managed a seemingly impossible feat they’ve been working towards for decades: landing a fountain of champagne on the fast moving arse of Kim Kardashian. Reports back from the large body of mass have revealed conditions to be dark and oily, with experts believing they are not the first men to have made impact with this surface

Did you see that documentary on the shocking state of transgender healthcare in the UK last night? No? That’s because there wasn’t one. There never has been. No one wants to make it. In fact, there haven’t been any transgender documentaries on TV for a while. The last ones I remember were a BBC Three one on trans beauty queen hopeful Jackie Green and Channel 4’s My Transsexual Summer, which aired in 2011. A lifetime ago! Maybe broadcasters got bored. Do you remember the days when gay people were invited on to talk shows just to talk about being gay? Me neither, but look up chat shows from the 80s and early 90s – it really is something else. Have documentary makers also realised there are only so many times you can film a trans woman putting on lipstick at her dressing room table while babbling on about her designer vagina like it’s the frigging Higgs boson machine? No one is more bored of transgender people prattling on about being trapped in the wrong body than me. The conversation’s moved on. So when are the powerful documentaries coming where we learn about what life is really like for trans people in 21st century Britain? Don’t hold your breath. I recently got an email passed onto me from Sundog Pictures, and it’s the same old story: “I’m currently working on an idea alongside Channel 4 following transgender individuals who have come to regret their sex changes and are keen to undergo further treatment to reverse the change… I’m looking for real life cases to include in my pitch document and was wondering whether you might be able to recommend people I could speak to.” Reverse sex change? Could this be any more tabloid? Don’t worry

though, it’s going to be “insightful and sensitive!” Said every television producer making a film about transgender people over the past 40 years. Yeah right. Well, good luck to them. I doubt they’ll find anyone. Genital reconstruction surgery for trans people is one of the most successful procedures carried out on the NHS. There are strict guidelines on who is suitable for the surgery, and patients at gender identity clinics have to go through years of psychological assessments with several gender specialists – and you have to jump through enough hoops just to get to the bloody gender clinic. I’ve yet to meet a GP who has had the slightest bit of knowledge about trans people. The point is: they don’t just hand out fannies on the NHS. Trust me. If there were huge numbers of people who regret their transgender surgeries, we’d know about them. I’m not saying they don’t exist. This Morning recently interviewed 30-year-old Chelsea Attonley, who is going back to being Matthew after finding life as a woman too tough. Attonley was featured in pretty much every newspaper in Britain – precisely because cases like this are so very rare. Most trans people are very happy with the outcome of their surgery and indeed it has been shown to be the effective treatment for those who seek it. Ten years ago a law was passed enabling transgender people to legally change their gender. It was a huge victory. You won’t have watched a documentary on that or the activists like Stephen Whittle and Christine Burns who spent over a decade devoted to political lobbying. I suppose changing the law isn’t as sexy as a reverse sex change.

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EDIT_OPINION

TOP 5

Gay Sex Icons

Gay sex has cropped up all over the place throughout the ages, in many shapes and er, sizes. Here’s a few people who have contributed above and beyond to our collective wank bank.

Paul Flynn IS OVER IT MY FAITH IN WATCHING LIVE MUSIC IS RESTORED, COURTESY OF SLEAFORD MODS

GREEK GODS Male same-sex relationships are littered across Greek mythology, with studs like Achilles, Zeus and Hercules all engaging in a bit of how’syerfather. JOE DALLESANDRO Andy Warhol took this gorgeously chiselled nobody and made him into a legend of gay subculture in films like Flesh, Trash and Heat. TOM OF FINLAND This Finnish artist took his homoerotic festish drawings of well hung beefcakes in leather uniforms and made them a gay institution in the second half of the 20th century. PEDRO ALMODOVAR Not Pedro himself, bless, but rather for the ream of steamy gay sex scenes he’s delivered, including Antonia Banderas getting bummed in Law of Desire. FRANCOIS SAGAT Probably the most famous face in the 21st century gay porn world. A fully versatile performer, you can realise your desires by buying an exact dildo mould of his cock.

I want to tell you about my favourite night out of 2014. Last year I stopped pretending and conceded that, unless they’re Beyonce or you’re backstage, watching anyone play live is my least favourite way of ingesting music. Then, wham! A friend invited me to see Sleaford Mods. It was at a place on Pentonville Road I’d never been to. An upper room in a pub with sellotaped flyers over the stucco details, the sort of place I hadn’t stepped in since I was a teenager and watching whatever the next Manchester band was that week. It is the sort of place I look embarrassed in because I am embarrassed in it. I scanned the room and everyone looked like me: forties, bald, overweight, wearing Patagonia anoraks, like a Kylie concert for straight people. I didn’t know whether this made me feel better or worse. Over there was the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West of Guardian readers, Islington’s first comedy couple Bridget Christie and Stewart Lee. Over here was conceptual art for Manic Street Preachers fans, Jeremy Deller. It started to look funny. A support act dressed like Iggy Pop drinking cider in Bradford slagged off The Fall. That felt quite special. We went outside for a cig in the rain and one half of Sleaford Mods, a gentle sort called Andrew came over to say hello to my friend, who’d interviewed them not long since for another magazine we both work for. I immediately took to him. The other one, Jason, who you’d nominally call the singer if his entire performance was not hot-blooded rants aimed at perfectly perpendicular targets, joined us. Andrew mentioned a festival they’d played to a small crowd and had attracted a maniacal fan at the front, a fat lad dancing and mouthing

...POLEMICS RUSSELL BRAND CAN’T ACCESS BECAUSE HE’S INFECTED BY THE RUSTY NEEDLE OF FAME

all Jason’s complicated, unpleasant words back at him. “That’s all you need really, isn’t it?” he said. The show blew my head off. Sorry, you can keep your Kate Bush. Direct, brutal, funny, speedy and tense, Sleaford Mods make something brilliantly adjudicated, the polemics [•] Russell Brand can’t access because he’s infected by the rusty needle of fame. They address the state of the nation without being idiots. Five minutes after he stepped sweating from the stage carrying a can of lager I saw Jason on the stairs and said “that was beautiful”, a comment that seemed to unsettle him in a nice way. We sat upstairs for a bit. His impulses were so quick, like rock stars half his age ought to be. He isn’t a rock star. He’s a hot mess you can’t help looking at, listening to and feeling for. Andrew said something about him being the gay one and Jason being the straight one, a detail I’d missed earlier but that made sense of their otherness and familiarity. The next day they were flying to Switzerland to play. I really love the way the world turns sometimes. It does reward the good folk. I’ve thought about that night a lot since. It wasn’t about hanging around with pop stars because who, honestly, outside of a tiny loving subset knows who Sleaford Mods are? It was about watching special people making something special. It was about getting to know and understanding the world better, because an angry man spoke up. 2014 was the year I got bored rigid of that Twitter elite invocation for everyone to be nicer to each other. Shit doesn’t get sorted that way. Sleaford Mods are perfect for now because now is exactly the right time to get aggro. Hear them at sleafordmods.com.

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25/11/2014 17:01

EDIT_music reviews

words: Aaron Toumazou & ben kelly

4/5

4/5

4/5 TOVE LO

Charli XCX

VARIOUS ARTISTS

S ucker / A sylum In 2014 Charli XCX fast went from having a bit of a moment to finally getting some much-deserved recognition - catapulted into the charts from LA to Tokyo when she provided vocals to the catchiest chorus of the summer in her collaboration with Iggy Azalea on Fancy. She went on to chart on her own with the breakthrough single she penned for The Fault in Our Stars soundtrack Boom Clap. The iconic Clueless inspired music video for Fancy certainly flagged how Charli meant to go on. Should she make a ‘thing’ of writing for movie soundtracks, Sucker lends itself perfectly to a rescore of the 90s cult classic. She’s skipping school in Break the Rules, crashing parties in Famous, seeing dollar signs in Gold Coins and unapologetically casting off a mate in favour of some self love in Body of Mine, the most explicit track of Charli’s much preferred explicit rethink of the LP. Born and raised in Hertfordshire, Charli addresses how she “never thought [she’d] be living in the USA, doing things the American way” in London Queen, and as she gears up to tour with Katy Perry in February 2015, it feels like a very modest sentiment considering the superstardom coming her way. at

A nnie / R oc N ation R ecords The soundtrack for the third cinematic adaption of Annie since its original 1982 theatrical film is no Lorde-curated epic, opting instead for the sheen of a modern, urban edge care of Sia and producer/songwriter Greg Kurstin, who were charged with creating new arrangements for the classic songs. Along with Sia herself, songs are performed with Broadway eccentricity by a cast of Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx and the new Annie, Quvenzhané Wallis; surely one of the next generation’s leading ladies of Hollywood. An Academy award nominee at just 11-years-old, Quvenzhané’s raw vocal resonates most on Opportunity, while she reaches epic heights on modern reworks of signature songs like It’s a Hard Knock Life and Tomorrow. She’s bursting with theatrical enthusiasm in I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here and even adopts an Ellie Gouldingesque husk on Foxx ballad The City’s Yours. Diaz’s turn as Miss Hannigan is set to be camp as Christmas if Little Girls is anything to go by, while the original classic You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile is a Sia special, an offering that’s a touch more upbeat than her own album 1000 Forms of Fear earlier this year. Revamping an iconic score to the modern age without straying too far from the original; this is a sensitive and most enjoyable feat. at

Q ueen of the C louds / I sland Swedish pop sensation Tove Lo’s debut is all big hooks and self aware emoting in three sections, The Sex, The Love and The Pain, each marked by questionable spoken words. Starting light (she channels her inner-Madonna on Like Em Young), Moments sees Tove assert “I’m not the prettiest you’ve ever seen, but I have my moments” in the same selfdepricating manner as her chart-topping single Habits. It’s safe to say Queen of the Clouds is one of them moments (and we think she’s super pretty, too). at

5/5 WHITNEY HOUSTON L ive : H er G reatest P erformances / S ony Despite being considered the greatest voice of her generation, Whitney’s live recordings have never before been released. Now, this compilation of her greatest performances – curated by Clive Davis – is a must have for all music lovers. I defy the goose bumps not to bristle as she joyously belts How Will I Know at the 1987 BRITs, or as she croons You Give Good Love in her earliest TV appearance – pure perfection. bk

ANATOMY OF A WEDDING PHOTO: SOLANGE Broke the no smiling memo/is now dead

All the single ladies

Wasn’t even there but photoshopped for symmetry

Bey doing a Pippa

Hipster angel bride

Just shabby

This picture’s Poor Michelle

Hot Mama

Shabby chic

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THE FINAL INSTALMENT OF OUR EXCLUSIVE MONTHLY FICTIONAL STORY I realised how much I wanted Will to be my boyfriend about three seconds after a lad called Stephen asked me out. It was at this meet and greet drinks thing for gay students organised by the welfare people at college. We all just stood around while they handed out plastic cups of white wine and leaflets about rimming. It wasn’t really my thing to be honest, but I’d promised Betty I’d be her wingman for the night. Betty’s doing my course – I really, really like her. She laughs all the time, and takes photos of caravans, women she fancies and spelling mistakes. I was keeping her company so she could smile meaningfully across the room at this girl with a fringe from performing arts. It was going alright. Then Stephen turned up and stood in the way. “Hey” he said. “I’m Stephen.” “Alright,” Betty said. “Can I just…?” Betty moved Stephen to the left. “Oh.” Stephen looked a bit confused. “This is Betty” I said. “She’s long-distance flirting with that girl near the fire escape.” “Oh shit. Sorry. Hang on.” Stephen angled himself round a bit so

Part 9

Betty could sip her wine, make alluring glances towards the girl and still be part of the conversation. “Bloody hell, Stephen.” Betty was impressed. “You can stay.” And he did. We chatted about all sorts: freshers’ week, Hull, peanut butter. Stephen was doing textiles so he had a lot of good stories about experimental knitting, which I enjoyed a bit too much. At one point I laughed and coughed at the same time and started crying wine. It stung a bit. He was handsome too, if you like smiley, scruffy lads in nice jumpers, which I do. I was probably giving out good signals. That’s probably why he asked me out. “Just for a coffee or something,” he said. “Just if you fancy it.” And for about three seconds, I considered it. Then I must’ve frowned. “Ok,” Stephen laughed. “That’s a no.” He didn’t seem fazed or anything, just carried on chatting. I don’t know how he did it. I briefly wished I was Stephen. Betty downed her wine. “Jonny, I think you should explain your pathetic love-life woes to Stephen,” she said. “I’m going in for the snog with fringe girl. Wish me luck.” Betty headed towards the fire escape and Stephen smiled. I think in his head he was

taking me out of the date box and putting me into the mate box. It didn’t take long. “Another minging wine?” he said. “And then just: tell me everything.” The thing about me is, I’m a massive lightweight. Wine number two got me pouring my heart out and by wine number three Stephen knew quite a lot more than he needed to know about the past few months. He didn’t seem to mind. He just smiled. “You properly like Will,” he said. “I do,” I said. “I just do.” “Well then,” he said. “Better get him back.” The trouble was, I hadn’t heard from Will since I’d turned up soaking wet on his doorstep in Harrogate. The more I thought about this, the more it felt like a bit of a clanger, and I wasn’t surprised he hadn’t been in touch. I’d given up ringing him about three missed calls after he stopped picking up the phone, and that was where I’d left it. At first I thought he just needed a bit of space but now I figured he didn’t want anything to do with me at all. It was pretty gutting to be honest. Especially now cos I knew he was back in town. I bumped into his housemate Sam by the tins in Lidl. I managed to play it fairly cool – kept things breezy, picked up some pineapple chunks and left – but it was still quite awkward. Will turning up at choir again was my last

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hope really. Then that disappeared as well. “What you on about Wales?” Biscuits said. “Wales,” Neil said. “Wales.” Neil had got a new job doing singing workshops and running a handful of choirs in the villages around Anglesey. One of his old mates from uni had sent him the ad from the local paper, he’d applied on a whim and got it. This would be his last choir practise – he was leaving on Saturday. “Just thought: fresh start,” he said. “Think I’m ready for a change.” Dev had gone to stay with his sister while he got some help, sorted his head out a bit, and Neil had been doing his best to carry on as normal, but he was a little bit wounded too. Something to get stuck into, in a new place, somewhere different was probably just the thing. That’s what Neil thought anyway. Biscuits disagreed. He looked like he was going to say something angry, then looked like he might cry. He didn’t do either. He just shoved his chair back and left. I waited for Jizzy J to say something funny. She didn’t. We were all a bit stunned. In the end I said “I might go check he’s alright,” grabbed a couple of Tunnock’s Caramels for the journey and left. The door caught the wind as I closed it and slammed shut. I hoped it wasn’t a sign. Then I felt like a knob – I spend a good quarter of my life hoping things aren’t signs. Nothing’s ever a

sign. I don’t know why I do it. Back at ours, I put the kettle on. Biscuits took a few deep breaths and got his head round Neil’s news. Biscuits had enough friends round here not to be lonely, he decided and he’d been wanting to visit Wales since seeing the film Pride seven times over the summer. The thing to do, he said, was to give his best mate in the whole wide world a really good send off. “You know what that means Jonny” he was grinning again by now “karry-bloody-oke!” Jizzy J sorted it for Friday night at the pub and Biscuits got busy rounding up everyone from choir. Ark and Mandy were in, as long as Barry Manilow was banned, and Mr Cartwright said he couldn’t wait. Biscuits got through to Sam eventually who said he’d pass the message on to Ben and Will. I thought this was shaky at best – Sam’s quite forgetful – but Betty and Stephen said I should put that to the back of my mind. They’d decided this was my last chance to get Will back, and they’d got a plan. “Some things, you can have a chat about,” she said. “And that’s fine, if you can manage it. For some reason, you two can’t seem to do that. That’s okay. You just have to sing. Sing all the stuff you wish you could say, but can’t, cos you’re 19, and a lad, and a bit shit at life.” “Thanks,” I said. “Helpful.” “The world is rammed with soppy, vommy, cringingly earnest love songs designed to do this exact job. You just need to pick the

‘THE WORLD IS RAMMED WITH SOPPY, VOMMY, CRINGINGLY EARNEST LOVE SONGS DESIGNED TO DO THIS EXACT JOB. YOU JUST NEED TO PICK THE RIGHT ONE’ right one.” Stephen nodded in agreement, and clicked on Spotify. From a shortlist of three, I went for Dolly Parton’s Here You Come Again. Partly cos it’s beautiful, partly cos Will once sang it to me after I got lost on my moped and he saw me go round a roundabout twice. If he ignored the bit about lying and I managed not to make the word “come” sound dirty, it felt like it’d do the trick. I practised in my room til it sounded alright and tried not to get nervous. Friday night came a bit too quickly. We nearly didn’t get there at all. Biscuits got a bit tearful before we set off. He’d got Neil a

t-shirt that said Hull on it, nothing else, in a really boring font, and he had to stop in the middle of wrapping it to have a good sob. In the end though, we were just a couple of minutes late. Mr Cartwright and Jizzy J were halfway through quite a touching rendition of Somethin’ Stupid. I had a look round – no sign of Ben and Sam and Will, not yet. They probably weren’t coming – I knew that. Still, my heart sank a bit. Ark and Mandy put on sunglasses, started marching and did The Proclaimers 500 Miles – it was just a rough guess how far away Wales was, they said. They hadn’t checked. Neil and Biscuits went for all-out karaoke meltdown with My Way followed by Angels and Jizzy J joined in with a bottle of Cava. And then, in the middle of all that, Ben and Sam and Will turned up. Ben and Sam went straight in with a Cheeky Girls cover. Will looked horror-struck – he hated karaoke at the best of times, but touch-my-bum housemates was a new low. He looked over but I couldn’t quite meet his eye. I ducked outside. I was fighting the urge to just leg it. Jizzy J stuck her head round the door. “You alright?” “Yeah,” I said. “Yeah.” “Get back in here then,” she said. “In a bit.” “No” she said. “Fucking, now.” Normally I’m thrilled to hear Dolly Parton. But I heard the first jangly bars of Here You Come Again start up and I felt like the world was ending. It was a panic like I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t do a thing. Jizzy J grabbed me, started shoving me inside. “No,” I said. Jizzy J ignored me. Before I knew what was happening, I was through that door, shaking, wobbling, as close to vomming as you can get without actual vom. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t do it. And that is when I spotted Will. Up on the stage, microphone in hand, petrified. Doing his best, and singing in my direction. Definitely. Singing it to me. And I knew how hard he must be finding it, but he just ploughed on, kept singing. He grinned at me, dead embarrassed, and I grinned back. It felt like the whole world fell into place a bit. And then, at the end, we kissed. So this is it – the last page of my diary. And this is just the beginning. There’s more twists and turns and fuck ups on their way, for both of us, I know. But both of us together. Wish us luck.

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EDIT_film reviews

reviews: matt mueller

2/5

BIRDMAN M ichael K eaton , E dward N orton , N aomi W atts Everyone’s going gaga for Keaton’s comeback as an ageing movie star trying to recapture public attention by staging a highbrow play. Frankly, though, he’s the least interesting thing in this surreal black comedy. It’s the supporting cast that makes Birdman soar (plus nifty camerawork that makes the film appear to unfold in one breathless take), including Norton as a nightmare A-lister, Watts, Andrea Riseborough as an insecure actresses and Emma Stone as Keaton’s brusque daughter. They stop this backstage satire from becoming an over-indulgent wallow. R eleased on 1 J anuary .

2/5

DUMB AND DUMBER TO J im C arrey , J eff D aniels , K athleen T urner Speaking of dumb comedies… Twenty years after Carrey and Daniels first played braincell-deficient morons Lloyd and Harry comes this too-belated sequel, which strives to recapture the anarchic gross-out spirit that made the 1994 original a minor classic. Carrey and Daniels are certainly game for further adventures in (a)dolthood and no depths are left unplumbed in the quest for laughs. But the best of them are all in the trailer, leaving the rest of this gagfest looking just plain stupid. R eleased on 19 D ecember .

3/5 MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN A dam S andler , J ennifer G arner , A nsel E lgort Chad Kultgen’s 2011 novel offered a frank, unjudgmental take on the internet’s vast hypersexual landscape. This adaptation by Jason Reitman (Juno, Up In The Air) is less frank, drearily cautionary and as incisive as an afterschool special, exposing a gaggle of suburban Americans in various stages of sexual distress and disconnection due to their naughty cyber habits. The young cast fare better than the old, but this is destined for an afterlife as a disapproving schoolmarm’s favourite. R eleased on 5 D ecember .

THE THEORY OF EVERYTHINg

4/5

FOXCATCHER

4/5

E ddie R edmayne , F elicity J ones , C harlie C ox There’s a plainness in the telling of Stephen Hawking’s life story, but the fact that it still packs a weighty and emotive punch is down to its unflinching honesty and two phenomenal performances: Redmayne as the genius astrophysicist and Jones as his first wife Jane. Redmayne’s ability to chart Hawking’s gradual physical disintegration through motor neurone disease, from merry student gamboling about Cambridge to contorted, wheelchair-bound shell, is nothing short of a marvel; the actor also expertly conveys Hawking’s boundless curiosity and even an impish sexiness. Jones, too, delivers as the solicitous but not always willing-to-suffer Jane. This biopic is extracted from her memoirs so while it ploughs towards the messy end of their marriage, it’s also more an uplifting tale about the power of love than an exploration of Hawking’s radical ideas about the universe. Team Cumberbatch seized the early awards-season momentum for his Alan Turing, but on this evidence we’re backing Team Redmayne to bag more hardware. R eleased on 1 J anuary .

C hanning T atum , S teve C arell , M ark R uffalo You can tell we’re in awards season when a new film starring Tatum and Carell turns out not to be a dumb comedy but a haunting true-crime drama about an insecure billionaire (Carell) and his bizarre patronage of the US Olympic wrestling team. Carell’s prosthetic nose is a sure sign he’s truffle-hogging for Oscar, but he’d deserve it for his creepy blueblood. Tatum and Ruffalo, as wrestler brothers who end up in his talons, are also superb in a precisioncrafted procedural that unfolds with quiet menace. R eleased on 9 J anuary .

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PECCADILLO PICTURES

peccapics.com

Queer cinema pioneer, Travis Mathews (I WANT YOUR LOVE, INTERIOR. LEATHER BAR with James Franco) returns with a collection of erotic portraits of gay men. “Beautifully shot, deeply intimate and voyeuristically tantalising” Ira Sachs DIRECTOR OF KEEP THE LIGHTS ON

Available On DVD

Cinema for insomniacs

Peccadillo pictures FP.indd 29

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eastern boys

juggling the intensely hot gay potatoes of paternity, prostitution and possessiveness – eastern boys is not for the faint-hearted

F

or the first few weeks after completing filming on his ambitious, striking, tense thriller Eastern Boys, the French film director Robin Campillo found it unnerving each time he stepped back into his own home. At Eastern Boys’ scripting stage, the auteur had imagined the main body of the action to take place in his apartment. To give the piece a verité mood and to keep to a tight budget it made sense to shoot there. It’s a strange flat, he says, a high rise in an unfashionable arrondissement in which Paris looks “like an illusion of a city” through the windows. You are in the city but disconnected from it, a perfect visual metaphor for Eastern Boys’ astringent subject matter; a film that joins unlikely, plausible dots between the gay experience and immigration in modern Europe. “It was a little bit strange coming back to my apartment and getting in bed at night,” he says now. After watching Eastern Boys, a piercing dissection of the sort of gay relationship you don’t often see on screen; one which intelligently, often scarily hoovers up the hot potato subjects of paternity, criminality, prostitution, ownership and prescriptive sex roles, it’s not difficult to reason why. “When I made my first film,” he says of Les Revenants, a spookily episodic return-of-the-living-dead drama which he rebooted as a TV series and found a critically loved home for at Channel 4 last year, “I had the feeling that directing was about controlling everything.” Because of the subject matter in Eastern Boys, he needed to lose some of that control. “In this film I wanted to be invaded by reality.” He found himself invested with a Hitchcockian spirit, with particular reference to Vertigo. Though made at the opposite ends of the country and with neither of their prior knowledge that they were building formidable companion pieces to one another’s work, Eastern Boys feels – emotionally at least – like a follow-up to last year’s noir gay classic, Stranger By The Lake. Both French films have unpicked gay experiences at tough, unforgiving angles, stripped away their surface gloss and inserted their own versions of hard truth into ailing love stories. They are not comfortable viewing, but they feel like a new vanguard for gay cinema, as exciting and irresistible in their own way as the birth of the queer cult of the late 80s and early 90s. “They both, I suppose, address the relationship between threat and desire.” Both directors, Campillo and Stranger By The Lake’s Alain Guiraudie open their masterworks with cruising moments at a direct antithesis to the titillating, smoky, leathery scenarios that straight directors have tended to fall back on when imagining themselves into the world of anonymous gay sex; from William Friedkin’s Cruising (1980) to Steve McQueen’s Shame (2011). Campillo and Guiraudie, both gay

themselves, extract the potential for boredom, repetition, desperation and adroit danger in the act of wordlessly picking up someone of whom you have no prior knowledge. They are savvy enough storytellers to leave these situations free from judgement too. When Campillo says “I must say, I don’t try – when I make this kind of film – to be a provocative guy, I’m not trying to shock,” you believe him. Both he and Guiraudie have a deep understanding of a floating, actualised danger implicit in some strands of gay life that has been swept somewhat under the carpet in the societal shift towards conservative family values – the gaybies, marriages and alimony conversation that has traced the new century so far. Campillo began working on Eastern Boys not long after Les Revenants hit cinemas in 2004. “I was invited to a friend of my boyfriend’s to dinner,” he explains. “He is 52 and has a son who was maybe 30odd. He was Russian. As he said goodbye to his son I assumed he was his lover.” His mistake was quickly corrected. “When I say this story it sounds shocking. But that’s why I do films. To understand how these things happen.” So he began writing a script about a gay relationship that blurred the lines between paternity and sexuality. It didn’t quite work out as he expected. “A few years after I started to write another script, which I worked on for a year and a half. I didn’t want to shoot that either. It was more like Stranger By The Lake, actually, set in the south. A man cruising finds a former soldier and is afraid and excited by this guy. I abandoned that script and he turned into two characters in Eastern Boys, Boss and Marek.’

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edit_film Eastern Boys is the story of Marek (Kirill Emelyonov) and Daniel (Olivier Rabourdin). It opens in a recognisably unfeeling Gare Du Nord, with a group of mostly street-cast refugees touting themselves out with glances and nods at punters, a gay code tutored by the man nominally understood to be pimping them out, Boss, a terrifying and real performance from Daniil Vorobyov. Daniel, a middle-aged man in business attire makes an advance to Marek, a beautiful teenager cut from similar physical cloth to Girls’ Adam Driver or a very young Keanu Reeves, in what may or may not be a nod to Gus Van Sant’s filmic poem to rent boys, My Own Private Idaho. When Daniel invites Marek to his apartment the next day, a succession of calamitous dramas, in which the older protagonist puts himself in wilful personal danger over and over, builds to a grim climax where he must confront the Eastern street gang in the cheap hotel they’re staying in. It feels like a very post-gay film. “That makes sense,” says Campillo. “It almost comes from an old position of gay sexuality, one in which it is clandestine.” The shooting was educational if not exactly enjoyable for Campillo. “I was a bit afraid of what I was doing. It was difficult when I was shooting the film to know exactly what would be the result. Here are two characters, having sex, talking little; during the shooting people were afraid it would be boring. But it’s not too cruel. When it’s tough I feel the humanity of the characters. They’re trying to negotiate something together.” There are three key exchanges between Daniel and Marek. “The first is prostitution,” he explains. “I don’t have a moral problem with it but it is a subject that makes me embarrassed and so I tried to shoot my embarrassment.” This was the first of several crucial choices made in developing the relationship. “You are not used to feeling embarrassment at sex on film.” What results “is gloomy sex. Sex that is hard to take.” The second sex scene, he says, “is very annoying sex. Not annoying, but sex without imagination. By the third scene they know each other so well the embarrassment is quite funny. I have always wanted to shoot someone who laughs as they are getting fucked.” This is the complicated physical and emotional terrain Eastern Boys tears across. “The question throughout all this,” says Campillo, “is ‘what is a couple?’ I love the idea that the person you live with is the biggest stranger in the world to you. Economic matters always make their way into couples, even if there is not prostitution. There is a fine line in some relationships between mystery and misery.” Robin Campillo was born in Morocco and grew up in France. He is 52-years-old and has a multidisciplined CV across screen that includes writing, directing and editing. He has a Palm D’or for his last work, The Class, and The Returned or Les Revenants – though greeted with lukewarm critical appraisal as a film – has attained a cult status not far off Twin Peaks for its televisual life and will return for a second season in 2015. He is an amiable, open interviewee and throws the odd curveball into conversation, like the fact that he is not a particularly ardent cinema attendee but a huge fan of Coronation Street. His favourite character on the Mancunian soap is Eileen Grimshaw. “Todd’s mother,” he clarifies. “I love this woman.” Because he has a 13-year relationship of his own, Campillo was tender and knowledgeable enough to attack to the thornier issue of male sexuality and how it works out in relationships with the scalpel-work of a master surgeon. He was more troubled by the subject of how he would deal with the great European political grenade of our times: immigration. “When you make a film about unpapered immigrants,” he says, “it is tempting to make angels out of them. There is a definite risk in making them threatening.” The character of Marek took the most time to develop and cast. “I was

trying to create an immigrant that is very seductive and attractive but not angelic.” By peeling away the layers of Marek’s living conditions in the abrasive closing cadences of the film, particularly under the sadistic foster-ship of Boss, he allows himself the opportunity to create a three dimensional man, one that he doesn’t even think of as gay. “I just think he thinks it’s okay to have fun with [Daniel]. The film is all about these kind of metamorphoses. I wanted him to be a little like Peter Pan, someone we always forget is a little bit cruel, never growing up, being young forever. What he sees in Daniel, he is afraid to become.” It is a startling, transgressive reading of the prostitute/ punter deal, one that takes a further radical tangent when Daniel agrees to legally adopt Marek as his child, after he tires of him as a sex habit. Eastern Boys has played strongly at international film festivals and, while not exactly to everyone’s taste, feels like it is part of an independent film conversation that can widen the boundaries of how we talk about gay in 2014. “Because of Guiraudie’s film,” says Campillo of Stranger By The Lake, “I think people were prepared for something like this.” Like Stranger By The Lake, he says, “when we did this film there was no political schedule. It’s just making cinema about our desires.” This is a thrilling new motorway for gay cinema to slip-road on to, one that Campillo has found to be invested with some thrilling and unexpected universality, too. “You know a lot of women like this film?” he says. Why does he think that is? “Because it is an

‘in the 70s and 80s it was all about proving that our love was the same, or was as valid. I have a very particular feeling that is over now’ intimate study of maleness.” He thinks gay directors are perfectly poised to explode a ticking clock of male sexuality, about to strike midnight. “You have to not want to be provocative. The paradox is that people don’t know how to play or react in relationships. They don’t know what is exactly their role. In a phase of mutation you become vulnerable. Daniel doesn’t know what to do. I love the fact the audience is in the same state. What is this world and how did I create it around myself?” The possibilities for gay cinema here are endless. “Now we have reached a position of equality,” says Campillo, “it’s time to think in a different way. In the 70s and 80s it was all about proving that our love was the same, or was as valid. I have a very particular feeling that is over now. It might be time to start talking about what is different. What is important in choosing this kind of film to make is that we can make something new now because there is something new to say.” Robin Campillo feels we are at the start of a very important dialogue about to blossom, the one tricky subject that underpins every strand of gayness. “You know,” he says, “I do think now is the right time to ask the question: What are our desires?” Let the floodgates open. • Eastern Boys is being shown in selected cinemas now.

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Gratuitous PICTURES

someone TAKING THEIR of

CLOTHES O FF

promote to

S A F E

sex

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EDIT_SAFE SEX

THIS MONTH

B AR CL A Y BEALES THE HOTTEST EIGHTH OF STEREO KICKS

W

ith eight strapping boys to choose from (well seven, if you discount 14-year-old Charlie Jones), it’s hard to pick who's hottest in The X Factor’s crazyassed 16-legged pop combo Stereo Kicks. But one fella's got the edge over the others in Attitude's eyes, and he's been on our radar for quite some time. Since last year, in fact, when he yodelled his way through to boot camp on the very same show. Meet Barclay Beales, a drop-dead gorgeous eighth of Stereo Kicks who in 2013 gave Nicole Scherzinger a frisky turn when he gave 1D's What Makes You Beautiful a Swiss makeover. In the flesh, Barclay is tall, dark and handsome with perfect features. He looks like the love child of Tom Daley and Chris Mears (now there’s an image) and he’s gruffly cool. He’s also a cheeky chappy who doesn’t mind losing his clothes. Here, Barclay opens up about the dirty picture that went viral, which of his bandmates he reckons would be best in bed and dares us to believe that he was a "minger" at school!

WORDS C H R I S T I A N G U I L T E N A N E PHOTOGRAPHY K E V I N M C D A I D MAKE UP L I L A R O S E LOCATION P I C C A D I L L Y I N S T I T U T E

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT A NAKED PICTURE OF YOURS THAT WENT VIRAL? To be honest it was all blown out of proportion. It wasn’t a revenge porn thing as the papers said. Basically it was a bit of a laugh. The picture of me was on all fours! With no pants on. From behind. YOU'RE LUCKY THE PAPERS DIDN'T PRINT IT WITH A BIG 'X' ACROSS YOUR BUMHOLE. At the time it was really funny. Though I was embarrassed about it when it came out. AND NOW YOU’RE STRIPPING OFF FOR ATTITUDE. COULD BE WORSE! This is a lot better than that picture! WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT WE HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU! [Laughs] I trust you guys. YOU'RE A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN: HOW DO YOU RATE YOURSELF? Thanks a lot. I have to admit, I wouldn’t rate myself. I like to think I do alright for myself but arrogance is never a good thing. THAT’S GOOD TO HEAR. YOU MUST BE PRETTY HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY TO BE STRIPPING OFF FOR US THOUGH. Actually I’m the total opposite. I was

stressing about it all of last night because I just thought 'I don’t look half as good as some of the other boys from The X Factor who have been in Attitude recently', like Jack Walton and Jake Quickenden. HOW DID YOU PREPARE FOR THE SHOOT. DID YOU HIT THE GYM? Nah... I had a McDonalds last night! WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY DO YOU LIKE THE MOST? My face, I think. I look after it more than anywhere else on my body. The body part I hate most are my calves. YOUR CALVES?! They're really small. They make me look like I have chicken legs. If I could, I’d love my arms to be bigger, but I'm a slacker. I used to go to the gym before the show, but now there’s no time. You don’t want to go just the once. WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE SEXIEST STEREO KICK? For me, I think Tom [Mann] is the sexiest! He has that old-fashioned sexy look. He has a nice face and has that 'vibe'. The fans tend to think Reece is the hot one. We have a lot

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IPAD AND TABLET VERSIONS FEATURE MORE EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS & VIDEO CONTENT

of young fans who like him but we’re getting more and more mums interested in us now! They love us and they are wicked! When they ask for a picture they grab my arse. That’s the nice side of it! [laughs] IF YOU WERE GAY FOR A DAY WHICH OF THE BOYS WOULD YOU GO FOR? Definitely Tom. WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND WOULD HE BE? I think a kind one. And I think he would actually be a tender lover... [laughs] WHICH OF THE STEREO KICKS' BODIES WOULD YOU LIKE MOST? Can I say my own? BUT YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT EARLIER! Yeah, but I think I like mine more than the others! [laughs] WERE YOU A HIT WITH THE LADIES IN SCHOOL? Not at all! I was so ugly at school. Honestly. I didn’t have any girls after me. I kept myself to myself. My hair was horrific. It looked like a Beatles’ member's but double the size. I had good looking mates who always had girls after them but I didn’t. Then when I left school at 16 I reached that stage of puberty where I came into myself and then those girls wanted to talk to me. SO WHEN YOU BECAME A BEAUTIFUL SWAN DID YOU GO CRAZY WITH THE GIRLS? I've never really been the kind of guy to sleep with everyone. I had a girlfriend for nine months. HAVE YOU GOT ANY GAY MATES? I have loads of gay friends and we get on great. Some have given me a hint that they’d like something more from me. But I just say that I'm not interested. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUNG GUYS WHO ARE COMING OUT TO THEIR STRAIGHT MATES? IT CAN BE PRETTY TOUGH. Be confident with it. That way no one's going to say anything about it or treat you any differently. Especially if you’re friends. Nothing should change that relationship. WHEN IT COMES TO DATING, WOULD YOU SAY YOU'RE A GOOD BOYFRIEND? Erm... Well my previous girlfriend told me I wasn’t romantic enough. But I can cook! Apparently I’m an 'okay' kisser. I haven’t had any complaints, although I have had the odd one when I’ve had too much to drink. ARE YOU A DUMPER OR A DUMPEE? I’m always the one that gets dumped. It’s the classic, "it’s not working, let’s take a break and see what happens" and then we take a break and nothing happens. It’s always a surprise because they never tell me how I can change, they just say I don’t like you anymore. To be honest, I still don’t know why I got dumped. It’s a total mystery to me.

KNOW YOUR STATUS AS LEFT UNTREATED HIV TURNS INTO AIDS. HIV CAN ENTER YOUR BLOODSTREAM THROUGH BODILY FLUIDS HIV SUCH AS BLOOD, CUM OR ANAL MUCUS. GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN FACTS ARE AT HIGHER RISK OF GETTING HIV. MOST GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN WITH HIV GET IT BY HAVING ANAL SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM. GET TESTED AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. YOU CANNOT TELL IF SOMEONE IS HIV NEGATIVE FROM HOW THEY LOOK OR JUST BECAUSE THEY SAY THEY ARE. 1/3 OF GAY MEN WITH HIV DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE IT SO ALWAYS USE A CONDOM!

H E L P L I N E S The Terrence Higgins Trust tht.org.uk THT Direct 0808 802 1221 10am – 8pm Monday to Friday GMFA gmfa.org.uk London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard llgs.org.uk Lesbian and Gay Foundation (Manchester) lgf.org.uk LGBT Scotland lgbt-helpline-scotland.org.uk LGBT Ireland lgbt.ie LGBT Northern Ireland lgbtni.org Pace Health pacehealth.org.uk If alcohol or drugs are causing you a problem and/or are making it hard to have safe sex: talktofrank.org

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BIG GAY FOLLOWING

WORDS: BEN KELLY

IDINA MENZEL

PERFORMING LET IT GO AT THE 86TH ANUAL ACADEMY AWARDS IN MARCH 2014

KEN MCKAY/REX

ALSO KNOWN AS THE WICKEDLY TALENTED ADELE DAZEEM, IDINA WARMED OUR HEARTS LAST YEAR VOICING THE FROZEN ANTHEM LET IT GO. NOW SHE’S BACK WITH A CHRISTMAS ALBUM! A Broadway star at heart, Idina Menzel is probably the greatest crossover success of the 21st century so far. After making her name originating the lead roles in Rent and Wicked, she’s recorded studio albums, starred in movies like Enchanted and TV shows like Glee, and crucially, she voiced the lead character of Elsa in the Disney smash Frozen – only the highest grossing animated film of all time. Idina herself has long been a gay favourite, packing the crowd at G-A-Y as recently as last year; and while many divas of her ilk can only dream of having a coming out-style power ballad immortalised by the gay community, from wedding dances to drag queen remixes, Idina boasts two: Defying Gravity and Let It Go. We sat down with a winter warmer and the lady herself to talk about her album Christmas Wishes, for those who like their carols up the octave...

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20th century fox/ everett / rex

idina as shelby corcoran on glee

How did you go about picking the songs for Christmas Wishes? Most of them are songs I’ve always loved, and always wanted to sing. They’re just some of the greatest melodies of all time, y’know? As a singer it is fun to take something so classic and challenge yourself to keep the integrity of the song. Also, my partner in

crime (my producer) Walter Afanasieff, who wrote All I Want for Christmas Is You with Mariah Carey – it’s been a total dream of mine to work with him in the studio. Never has someone produced my vocals as well as he does. I love how you’ve included River by Joni Mitchell, because it’s kind of emerging as a bit of an

alternative Christmas classic, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s the part of me that didn’t use to like Christmas, before I had a son, the part of me that found the holidays lonelier and regretful. I felt like I needed to include that just to be honest. And it’s just one of the greatest songs ever written, y’know? I just love it.

You’ve got Michael Bublé on the record singing Baby It’s Cold Outside with you, how did that come about? He was the perfect person to do this song, and I know him very well. He’s just a sweetheart, he was kind enough to give me his time and put his stamp on this. I’m really indebted to him. You’ll be the envy of ladies – and

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some gents – across the world. I know I’m the envy, I know! What’s Christmas like in the Menzel house? I love the holidays. If anything I love Christmas more now than I did as a child. The holidays were always a bit tumultuous with divorced parents, but I have a new found love for them. I’ve rediscovered it through my son’s eyes. Everything now is about my son Walker. We’ve been watching Elf and The Grinch... lots of those movies. Is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas or a Halloween movie? Anyway, that one! What music do you like to play? All different kinds. I love to listen to some Harry Connick Jr albums, I think they’re great. Just old standards, Ella Fitzgerald’s old Christmas album, things like that. Do you cook Christmas dinner, or is that up to someone else? Oh no I’m more of an order-in Christmas kind of girl! No, no, either I’m hanging out with people that are great cooks or I just get Chinese food y’know? It’s a Jewish thing at Christmas time, because they’re the only restaurants that are open on Christmas Day. What do you like to do in New York at Christmas time? God there are so many things. I’d like to go ice skating with my son, I’ve only been a few times in my life, so I’d like to take him ice skating and into Central Park. We might go see the show at Radio City, a Christmas show. I also love the windows at Saks Fifth Avenue, the things that my parents took me to when I was younger. Did you used to go carolling? No, I haven’t been Christmas carolling. I’m sorry, am I going to hell for that? I think a Christmas album kind of makes up for it. What are you hoping to get as a gift this year? You’ll probably have fans who will buy it for you... Then I’ll just come off as pretentious! I’d like a trip to

sail the Greek islands. Anyone want to offer that? [laughs] You know, sailing lessons would be cool, that’s on my bucket list, I always wanted to learn to sail but I’ve just never done it. I assume you’ll be playing Santa for your son – what’s on his wish list? It’s all dinosaurs. He is a five-year-old palaeontologist; he’s just an encyclopaedia of dinosaurs, and he would school you in a second, in the pronunciation of these things and he’s very into Jurassic Park, so he likes the vintage toys that

he hears that song because he says “That’s my mommy, my mommy sings that.” And everybody else says “So does my mommy!” He’s like “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” So, it’s a complicated issue for a five-year-old! And, even for someone like you who has had a distinguished career, Disney must make for an odd phenomenon still, where your voice is just everywhere. Is that weird for you? No, I feel totally lucky and grateful; I think it’s a sign of the times, maybe social media

the credentials

PETER BROOKER/rex

came out with the movie a while back. I’ve had to go on eBay and find these very expensive dinosaurs; I just spent $30 on a tiny dinosaur because it’s a oneof-a-kind from Jurassic Park III. I bet some geeky person just has it in their house. Obviously since last Christmas, many homes across the world have been subjected to the Frozen DVD on a loop. Is your house just the same? No, my son does not want to hear his mother sing. And it’s very confusing for him when

Date of birth: 30th May 1971 Place of birth: Queens, New York City worked with: Kristin Chenoweth, Josh Groban, Michael Bublé Best known for: Rent (1996); Wicked (2003); Frozen (2013); being introduced as Adele Dazeem by John Travolta at the Oscars Least known for: Duetting with X Factor finalist Rhydian BGF status: For her natural gravitation towards gay anthems, and her work for the LGBT community

and all that stuff. How many great songs have there been before in Disney movies? But we don’t have many stand-outs, that we’re familiar enough with to sing it. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence of events or serendipitous or what it is, but, y’know a five-year-old kid knows the character, and is also aware that I sing it. I think that’s mostly because of social media, I think there’s this wonderful pride that everyone takes that they can post their own version of the song, and so

there’s a celebration of everyone’s arrangement. That’s something we haven’t had before. Do you get to watch many of those YouTube versions? Yes, everybody sends them to me. They’re great! You’re currently starring on new musical If/Then on Broadway, might you be bringing that to London? Oh gosh, I always love to return to London for any of my projects. I actually spent probably the best six months of my life when I did Wicked in London. And, it’s my home away from home. So that’s never out of the question, but I don’t know. If/Then is very New York based; I don’t know how it would be received over there. Are there any other stage roles on the horizon for you? There are a couple of things in development that I can’t really talk about yet. Especially musicals. They take years to develop. So y’know, when there’s an embryo of something you just have to get in there and see what’s going to develop into something real. I’m going to tour a lot, do a lot of concerts, go out and sing internationally. I’m very excited about that because there are some territories which I’ve never been to. Will you be doing any Christmas concerts around this album? Yeah, there are a bunch of things that I’m doing here in the states, and I’m hoping to come to London and maybe get on television there. You’d be great for one of those old-school specials, where you’re with friends, sat around a piano. I would love to do a special, but I don’t know if I have it like that yet. My publicist is saying you just don’t have enough time. I am doing eight shows a week right now, but the more singing I do the stronger I get. It’s kind of like running to me, building up your endurance, so that stuff doesn’t intimidate me as much. It’s more about sleep and being healthy.

Idina’s album Christmas Wishes is out now

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With

B U L C E R U T CUL

tweets @MattCainWriter

Matt Cain

@GMlovelie67xxx It’s a fabulous song. He supports his community very well. He really cares. An Easier Affair also shows amazing support for his community!

GEORGE MICHAEL TOOK OWNERSHIP OF HIS CRUISING SCANDAL IN A SONG, AND IT WAS GREAT

@banditbear247 I always loved that he took the experience and used it so publicly. The video always made me laugh.

GEORGE MICHAEL’S

OUTSIDE It’s a brilliantly uplifting dancefloor banger. But George Michael’s Outside is so much more than just a pop song. It captures an important moment in the life of one of our most famous gay men – and represents a major step forward on our collective journey towards greater visibility and social acceptance. In April 1998, George Michael was arrested by an undercover policeman for “engaging in a

@lobyouknowme It’s a great FU song. What better way to annoy those that tried to humiliate him than by releasing something joyous.

@ukmarkus I think if you take away everything and just focus on the song itself, its pretty underrated. @dalebassett Brave, unashamed genius.

lewd act” in a public toilet in Los Angeles and later sentenced to 80 hours community service. His response was to unleash the PR blitz that was Outside. The lyrics of the song celebrate the delights of going ‘back to nature’ for outdoor sex, poke fun at George’s time ‘servicing the community’ and include the joyous confession that “Yes, I’ve been bad!” The hilarious video intercuts images of couples having sex in public

@debserin Outside. Unapologetic in a time when unapologetic really wasn’t trendy! Best song about cruising ever? Can we say that?? @Eamumc I like the song. It’s classic GM sound, but I think the video is just tacky. @Mikehaddon40 Not to be ashamed of your sexuality is what he stands for and that’s still much needed! @CMMR123 He stuck it to the police and it was beautiful. He did it with class... As always.

with footage of George dressed as a policeman performing the song in a public toilet that turns into a nightclub. Even the title of his accompanying greatest hits album, Ladies and Gentlemen, was a wry nod to the site of his supposed disgrace. It all added up to a sensational and shameless way of claiming ownership of what had happened, publicly embracing his sexuality and hitting back at those who’d attacked him. Of course, part of me can’t help thinking it would have been much better if George had come out earlier in his career – and through his own choice. This would have made a major difference to the lives of gay men like me growing up in the 1980s. But at the same time, I understand how difficult coming out must be for a star; as well as worrying about the effect

book previews BODY COUNTS – A MEMOIR OF POLITICS, SEX, AIDS AND SURVIVAL BY SEAN STRUB Lauded by the likes of Andrew Holleran and Lily Tomlin, Sean Strub’s memoir is set to go down as one of this year’s must-reads. An activist for years and the first openly HIV positive person to run for U.S. Congress, Strub provides a fascinating insight into what it means to lead a vibrant existence in the face of a life-threatening illness.

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EVERYTHING IS MOVING, EVERYTHING IS JOINED SELECTED STORIES OF STELLA DUFFY Out earlier in September, this collection of short stories brings together, for the first time, a selection of Stella Duffy’s award-winning writing, as well as stories broadcast on radio and from anthologies over the past 20 years. Everything is Moving, Everything is Joined is an unmissable treat, not just for Duffy’s fans but for anyone who loves quality literature.

HIGHLIGHTS OF MY LAST REGRET BY NORTH MORGAN From the author of the sharp outsider fiction Exit through the Wound comes a new offering set in L.A., telling the story of Parke Hudson, an affluent drifter, with an alcoholic mother, an estranged father and a bickering and strained relationship with his beautiful girlfriend – who wants more than he seems able to give. An immensely enjoyable and observant second novel. BOOK PREVIEWS BY WILL DAVIS

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EDIT_culture club

it might have on their career. Every individual has to consider how it will impact on their relationship with their family. And many of us experience confusion around our sexuality, each of us understanding it at a different stage of our lives. It’s safe to say that by the time he was cruising for sex in public toilets, George Michael understood his sexuality. But I can’t help wondering if in doing so, on some level he actually wanted to be outed – and was

putting himself in a position where sooner or later it was bound to happen. Eight years later, George was reportedly caught cruising for sex again, this time near his home on Hampstead Heath in London. He caused controversy by allegedly telling a journalist that cruising is part of “our culture” as gay men. But many gay men felt that he wasn’t speaking for them. And, although cruising is without doubt part of our queer heritage

Opposite Page: Stills from George Michaels music video for Outside. This page: George Michael in 1998

fact file

and for years was the only way gay men could meet each other, I’m not sure it’s something we should celebrate; it doesn’t strike me as a healthy, self-loving way of expressing our sexuality. At least it never has been in my experience. Unfortunately, much of what’s happened in George’s later life has led many people to speculate that he’s still working through certain issues. He’s struggled with an addiction to cannabis and has served time in prison for driving while under the influence of drugs. But to me, this vulnerability only makes me empathise with him more. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of and many gay men, me included, have had to fight an urge to self-destruct that can play itself out through addiction. Ultimately then, George Michael is just one of us. And as a gay man, Outside still stands as his finest achievement.

• Released on 19th October 1998 • Peak position on UK singles chart – 2 • Written and produced by George Michael • Video directed by Vaughan Arnell • Marcelo Rodriguez, the police officer who arrested George, claimed the video mocked him and filed a $10 million lawsuit. It was dismissed.

classic read

Boys & Girls edited By Paul Burston

Brought together by journalist and author Paul Burston, founder of London’s premiere LGBT literary salon Polari, and published in association with The Albert Kennedy Trust, Boys & Girls is a fantastic collection of short stories from some of the best gay authors writing today. There is the enjoyably madcap and poignant Dying, and Other Superpowers by Kristian Johns, about a young man diagnosed with HIV who discovers he has the power of telekinesis; from Jay Bernard comes the gutsy poetical storyboard Paradise, about her first love when she was a six-year-old; and Karen McLeod’s tale, The Next Best Thing, is a brief but exceptionally powerful glimpse into a teenage girl’s life, focusing on a trip

to London with her brash, confident friend. One of the best stories is Burston’s own delectable offering, The Unbearable Bear, a beautifully observed slice of fiction about a fussy and difficult gay man, sure to strike a note of truth with all who read it. The anthology includes the original story by North Morgan Exit through the Wound which later evolved into his novel, focusing on the displacement of a young man returning to his wealthy family home in Greece where he is now almost a stranger. Also on offer are fabulous tales from renowned writers Stella Duffy and V G. Lee. This collection is a small gem and deserves to be treasured.

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e v di ON IN

ater w e h t o t e k a t e w ears m is r h c r e iv d h wit wimming s e m o s d n a h is h and rtin a m , d y o l l n a u ie peers haffield cremin and tom

Words: KELLY N E B aphy: r g o Phot stein n r A Sven : Styling rian a h c o K Joseph

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water boys_ATTITUDE

Ieuan wears swimwear by HOM; Martin wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com; tOM wears swimwear by HOM; Chris wears swimwear by HOM

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Martin wears swimwear by Addicted at Bang+Strike; Chris wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com

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I

t goes without saying that water sports probably aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But you’d be hard pressed to find an Attitude reader who hasn’t enjoyed watching the swimming and diving at some point, for whatever reason. As a special treat for our annual Sex Issue, we are giving you swimmers Martin Cremin, Tom Haffield, Ieuan Lloyd, plus diving favourite Chris Mears, who stripped down to their smalls and got a tad cheeky with Attitude in this group interview.

water boys_ATTITUDE What’s been the peak of your careers thus far, in terms of medal winning, etc? Ieuan: For me, I was very good at a junior level. I won the Junior Olympics and I won the European Juniors. I made the Olympics at 18, and then I found it really difficult to step up onto the senior stage, going from top dog, to being a bit lower in the order. Tom: I’ve won British championships as a junior and a senior, and in 2009 I was World Championship ranked seventh in the world. Martin: I was Scottish champion for four years in a row until this year. I was British Champion the year I finished. Chris: Competing at the Commonwealth Games and winning gold is definitely my highest achievement to date. Martin, you’re retired now? Martin: Yeah, I retired after the games. I’m about to start a new job. Tom: I’m thinking about what I’m doing. At the moment I’m doing some courses in teaching and coaching swimming so I have options for what I want to do. When you swim it’s such a big part of your life, what’s it like to give that up? Martin: I think now I’m just enjoying it because for the last year of my training I knew that I was working towards Glasgow 2014 and I knew that I was going to be stopping after that, so I just put everything into it. I made a lot of sacrifices and it’s really nice just to have a bit more freedom now, in terms of a social life and stuff like that. And you’re still in the thick of it Ieuan? Ieuan: Yeah, for me – obviously Glasgow didn’t go too great for me. It was a bit of a disappointment to come seventh in Glasgow, but I’ve started the season very positively, I feel more confident in myself and I’ve started making some new life choices. I’ve got a good relationship with my new coach. Tom, what makes you decide whether or not to continue with your career? Tom: It’s come to a big crossroads at the minute. My coach of 13 years has just retired and I’m getting on a bit now – believe it or not, 26 is relatively old in the world of swimming! And I’ve been doing it full time since I was 16, since I was doing my GCSEs, so I’m thinking now, what do I want to do next. Chris, how do you see your future in this career? Chris: I am fairly confident that I’ll still be on the team up until Rio 2016 – that’s basically my next target. But then, until I actually reach that target and complete that target, I can’t really say what’s after that. I’ll still be fairly young, and I’m confident I’ll have a few years left in me. You’ve also got a budding career as a DJ though right? Chris: Yeah. I’ve been doing music since I was 16-yearsold. Then after London started getting a little bit more serious I decided it was something I wanted to consider in my future and now I’m just building up to releasing a single, which should be out very soon. It’s out on Universal Music in Mexico, and it’ll be a world-wide

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water boys_ATTITUDE sale as well so anyone can buy it. How have you found it all? Chris: It’s been a lot harder than I thought it would be. You know, the music industry is a tough one. And it was hard trying to build my own sound but I’m really happy with my single that I’ve produced and written. I can’t wait for people to hear it. So what’s the training day like for you guys, when you’re in the thick of it? Tom: I think we swimmers do a lot of longdistance events, so it would be a lot more than somebody who was a sprinter. I think we all do a lot. Martin: Yeah I was in for two-and-a-half hours in the morning, two-and-a-half hours at night, but my training partner who does the 50 breaststroke was maybe only in a few times a week, so it really just depends on what event you want to do. There’s a lot more land work if you’re a sprinter too. Chris: I train 28 hours a week. I do 50% gym work and then the rest is in the pool. I lift weights three times a week which is tough. I do a lot of gymnastic work and trampoline-based work. So obviously it’s quite taxing on the body. We’ve all read tales of the huge intake of calories from people like Michael Phelps – what do swimmers eat during training? Martin: I’d say I eat more now probably, than I was. Because I’m trying to bulk up at the gym. Just for yourself? Martin: Yeah! Tom: When I was in full training I was swimming 80km a week, and that’s not even a full week, that’s Monday until Saturday morning, so it’s more like five and a half days. Then you can eat whatever you want, as much as you want. The problem I had was keeping weight on to be honest. I was so slim when I was doing 80km a week, I could just eat whatever. Are you all a bit like that? Because no one has a particularly big build. Ieuan: It varies on the event really. Martin: Especially my event which is 1500m which is the biggest one you can do, you don’t find that there’s giant guys, in terms of build or height really – it’s such an aerobic event. Tom: Me and Ieuan used to go to Yo Sushi in Cardiff and they have this deal on a Sunday where you can have as much as you want for a certain amount of money, and we’d go in on a Sunday and have a competition of who could eat the most. Well at least sushi is fairly healthy, it’s not burgers or sausages is it? Tom: Well Ieuan’s a pie eating champion as well! Ieuan: For two years in a row I won a pie eating competition.

chris wears swimwear by Aussiebum

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‘ I’ve chosen a job that requires a very small amount of clothes and I’m absolutely cool with it!’ Chris

Martin wears swimwear by Addicted at Bang+Strike; Chris wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com, Tom wears swimwear by Speedo

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water boys_ATTITUDE

Tom and Ieuan both wear swimwear by Aussiebum

How many did you have to eat? Ieuan: It was in ten minutes, and I had about seven and a half, and they’re big pies as well. You weren’t sick or anything? Because you hear of these stupid water drinking contents in America and stuff, and it’s like “She won! But she died.” Ieuan: No! I felt a bit ill after though. How about you Chris, how does diving differ? Chris: I think during the winter time, you need to make sure you have a small amount of fat reserves; just, like, to stop yourself from getting ill. It’s just basically managing that in the right way and making sure that your bodyweight stays at a consistent kind of place. I have a few questions about etiquette I’m hoping you can answer. How long is it acceptable to be naked in the changing rooms – should it be done quickly, or can you walk to the showers naked...

Tom: There’s different etiquette for public swimmers and professional swimmers. Professional swimmers don’t get naked. Martin: We mainly do poolside changes. With a towel? Like you do on the beach if you’re not a pervert? Martin: Yeah. Then public changing rooms, what’s the difference? Tom: We have group changes, so we have big cubicles, so we tend to get changed as a squad, and sometimes we get like a member of the public walk in and take their kit off. Martin: Air drying for like 15 minutes. Tom: And we’re all in the shower with our trunks on and then somebody naked walks in the shower, and it’s like errr... I think you need to leave. Martin: And usually there’s no safe place to rest your eyes either. Well if you’re automatically drawn to it. What about hair dryers, because some people use those

very inappropriately... Martin: No, hand driers! Under the hand dryer! What, their bits? Martin: Yeah. Tom: What! I’ve never seen anyone do that. Another question – why do you shave your body hair, does it really do anything? Ieuan: I don’t know if it makes that much difference, but swimmers, when they rest down for a competition, shave all the hair off their body. It’s just less water resistance. It gives you a little feeling, you feel a bit smoother going through the water. But I’m not a very hairy person anyway. Tom: You feel higher in the water, you’re floating higher, and it reduces the drag on your body. Martin: Also it’s quite a powerful psychological thing too because it’s the final thing you can do in preparation for your competition.

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All wear swimwear by Emporio Armani at Bang+Strike

So it gives you a little bit of a boost. When you jump in the water, you feel completely different, the water feels different against your skin. Chris: We don’t need to do it. I guess the swimmers need to be streamlined or whatever, but that’s not really so much of a problem for us. I do have a routine that I do but... Just a personal one? Chris: Yeah, it’s kind of just personal, it’s not a necessity. Do you ever feel a bit exposed in your

swimming gear? Chris: Well I’ve chosen a job that requires a very small amount of clothes and I’m absolutely cool with it! I’ve done it since I was seven years old, so it’s not anything new to me and I’m comfortable in my own skin. Ieuan: Well we normally wear two pairs actually – we wear two pairs in training. Is that why everything looks bigger? Ieuan: No that’s all natural! Tom: I only wear one. The thing is, we’ve been wearing trunks since such a young

age that it’s normal, and I feel more comfortable in trunks, because when you’re wearing clothes I feel people judge you on your clothes and stuff like that whereas we’re used to being in our trunks and being around everybody else in their trunks. So would you rather people saw you in your pants, or in your clothes? Tom: Depends what time of year it is. Well I’d say this is late autumn. Tom: Now is fine! I just had a spray tan done so I’m fine.

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water boys_ATTITUDE How often do you get that done? Tom: Oh, just for today. Anyone else guilty of that? Tom: Martin’s been on the sunbeds! Martin: Only one or two! Just maintaining my tan from my holiday. It seems to me that divers always get a fair bit more attention. Why should we be more interested in looking at swimmers than divers? Ieuan: We train harder! Tom: I don’t know, I don’t want to take anything away from divers. In Glasgow I went to watch Tom (Daley) on the last day of the Commonwealth Games, and I really enjoyed watching it, I think it’s a great sport. Martin: I would say that was one of my favourite points of the games, because we were all finished in the first week and we went to watch the diving. What’s the difference in your bodies? Tom: Well they all have massive thighs. They have a lot of jumping and diving, where obviously we just have the one dive at the start.

Chris: I think it depends on what time of season you’re talking about, but I work hard in the gym, and I think it’s a lot different to the swimmers because they do a lot of long distance swimming and that requires a different body shape. They’re generally taller and a bit skinnier. Whereas we’re a little bit more hench. Is it more upper body with swimmers? Martin: Yeah, divers’ bodies are more similar to gymnasts than swimmers. Tom: I think it’s easier for swimmers to keep weight off too, because obviously we do a lot of cardio work. We don’t have to watch what we eat as much. Are you as happy with your bodies as they are? Ieuan: Yeah, very happy. If you weren’t swimming would you want to look any different? Ieuan: No I think I’ve got a good balance.

Tom wears swimwear by Aussiebum

Martin wears swimwear by Addicted at Bang+Strike; Chris wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com

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Tom wears swimwear by Speedo; Chris wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com

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water boys_ATTITUDE

Martin wears swimwear by Aussiebum; Ieuan and tom both wear swimwear by Rufskin

Tom: Well no matter how much I try I just can’t get a six pack, so yeah I’ve kind of given up on that now. I think it’s genes. Ieuan can just rock up after a break and he’ll still have abs, where no matter what I do, I just can’t. So Martin you’re bulking up? Martin: Yeah, a little bit. I’ve always felt quite skinny, with my event, and I’ve never had an intense gym programme like some of my colleagues, so yeah just for me I want to get a little bit bigger. Are you all on Instagram? Martin: Yeah. Tom: Yeah. Ieuan: No. Well I’ve forgotten my password... How partial are you to an indulgent selfie?

Tom: Nah, I think out of about 100 pictures, there’s probably three maximum. Martin: There’s such pressure to do them, to keep your followers up. My mate told me yesterday he’s posted a picture of him and his niece or something and a load of people unfollowed him. You set a dangerous precedent. Do you find that as well? Martin: Yeah I think some people get bored of you. Tom: I don’t care, if you’re interested in what I’m doing then follow me, if you’re not, then don’t. I don’t really care. I’d rather have one person follow me who was actually interested. When you’re swimming, I find I don’t actually have that much to post. The day is so long and

monotonous. Chris: I just kind of post what I’m doing, and when I’m away on a trip, I’ll just be in the pool and I’ll be in speedos obviously, and I guess people like to see that kind of thing and it gets a lot of attention, so... yeah, so be it! Got no problems with it! Chris, you also have the honour of being the only one of the four to make the Attitude Hot 100 two years in a row... Chris: Yeah and the first year, I was like 70th or 71st or something and I was just like “Oh okay. Yeah cool!” I didn’t have like, high expectations for this year, but I was seventh and I was literally gobsmacked. And I was honoured, really, to be regarded that high up in the list! That made me really happy.

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Martin wears swimwear by Addicted at Bang+Strike, Chris wears swimwear by HOM at figleaves.com, Tom wears swimwear by Speedo, Ieuan wears swimwear by WearMeUnder

location: Oakleigh park school of swimming Grooming by Marcos Gurgel using MAC Photography assisted by Sally McCormack and Kitty Wheeler Shaw Video operator Harvey Puttock Styling assisted by Nick Byam and Jackson Forster

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It wouldn’t be the Sex Issue without... A BOX OF SAUCY QUESTIONS What do you wear in bed? Tom: I just wear underwear in bed. Martin: Me too. Ieuan: None of us sleep naked. Tom: I don’t like it. Chris: I’m a boxers man. I only wear boxers. I can’t sleep if I have pyjamas on or anything. That’s just my thing. What would you win a medal for in the bedroom? Tom: I’ve got a good answer, can I go first?! Sleeping! Martin: I do a really good pillow arrangement. My bedroom is like Bree Van de Kamp’s from Desperate Housewives. Chris: I’ll go for all round performance! Ieuan: I’d win a medal for keeping my bedroom nice and messy. Tom: He should get a medal for the bloody doorbell he has in his bedroom. It connects to his room and I’ve stayed at his house and when the doorbell goes off it shakes the whole room. Have you ever worn your medals in bed? Ieuan: I take them off as soon as they’re given to me. Tom: No I haven’t, but I know somebody who has! Do we know that person? Tom: I don’t know, I’ll just leave it at that! Somebody well known...

water boys_ATTITUDE What if you pulled and they wanted you to wear them. Tom: Oh I’d do that for a joke. Chris: Definitely not, that’s far too arrogant for me. Not my style Martin: Absolutely not! What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done in the water? Martin: Skived half the training sessions. That’s another shit answer. Chris: I’m a good boy, I don’t do anything naughty! Tom: Skinny dip! I did a naked length once in the pool after training. That’s about it. Ieuan: I did something... Not to myself, to somebody else. It was in a Jacuzzi.

Tom: Yeah. I went to her house, a friend of mine took me. Was she videoing it? Tom: That’s mean! [laughs] Chris: I’m a big Mila Kunis fan. Ieuan: I think from a very young age I’ve always fancied Rachel from Friends. What’s the naughtiest picture anyone’s ever sent you? Martin: Some of the messages I got on Facebook after Attitude did a picture special of me were unthinkable. Not so much photos, but the words that were used. I honestly couldn’t repeat them! Chris: Yeah I get some weird comments and pictures on Twitter too. Tom: I don’t send any. No one wants to see that... You’d be surprised. Ieuan: Does this include videos? Tom: You can’t talk about the one I think you’re going to talk about.

Hands, kind of thing? Ieuan: Hands, yeah.

Oh I think you have to now. Ieuan: Just some Snapchat things that’s all.

Martin, have you got a better one? Martin: Skinny dipping, but not on my own.

What was she doing? Ieuan: Christ...she had a little...um... accessory? Tom: I was sharing a room with him while it was going on, so I know all about it.

In a group, or with just one person? Martin: With a close friend. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex? Ieuan: I’ve done it in a nightclub. Dance floor or toilets? Ieuan: Both! Martin: I guess mine is Dubai. The most homophobic nation! With a local? Martin: It wasn’t actually. Well, an ex pat, so... Also on the roof of a hotel. I hope it was a nice one? Martin: It was in Mexico. More of a roof terrace actually. Which celebrity gets you wet? Martin: I don’t know if he gets me wet but I definitely fancy Dan Osborne! Tom: People are probably going to judge me for this, but I’m going to say Paris Hilton, because I’ve met her and I thought she was really nice, and she’s not dumb like people think at all. Ieuan: Was she hot?

Ieuan were you sending anything back? Ieuan: No comment! Tom: I don’t really do this. I have had people send things through but nothing too bad that I can think of, just underwear things. I get worse things from my friends than anyone else! Would you rather have a bigger brain, bigger muscles, a bigger bank account or a bigger dick? Tom: Oh this one’s alright actually. I’d go for a bigger bank account. Then in order? Bigger brain, bigger dick, bigger muscles. Ieuan: I’d rather have a bigger bank account as well. How are you doing with the other three? Ieuan: Sorted. Martin: I agree with bigger bank account. Tom: If you’ve got a big bank account, that other stuff doesn’t matter does it? Chris: I think I’d rather have a bigger brain, then I can make the money, and get a lot of other things. I have no problems with my dick!

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help! I don’t want bum sex For our Sex Issue Joe Kort explores your deepest, darkest sexual fears Dear Joe

When I came out six years ago I was so shy and scared of gay sex. Since then I really feel I have accepted my sexuality and learned to enjoy sex, but it’s almost like since I decided to try anal sex, I can’t stop pushing the boundaries. There is pretty much nothing I have not tried over the last six years. Recently I have been feeling increasingly depressed. Where do I go next? Someone described me as hyper-sexual the other day. Is that what I have become? I don’t think the question is where you go next sexually but rather where you go next relationally. My guess is that you are depressed because you are only focused on sex and not the relationships as well. I think it is great that you have accepted your sexual orientation and also discovered your sexual interests. Just because someone comes out doesn’t mean they become sexually open and adventurous. I always coach people to expand their sexual boundaries and try new things, which you have done. However, engaging in sex acts with other people and being sexually adventurous is easier than putting your energy into building a relationship too. Notice I am using the word “too”. You don’t have to give up your sexual adventures to turn your attention to

relationships as well. How much time are you putting into dating? I had a client once tell me that having a lot of sexual hookups was fun but in the end it was like empty calories because it left him feeling isolated afterwards. What was your former self like? Was your attention turned toward friends and family? Do you have a regular guy you turn to for being sexually open? I bet if you decided to focus on one or two guys with whom you play with on a regular basis you would feel less depressed and discover who you are since you have come out. We see ourselves reflected in the relationships we choose whether they are dating partners, sex partners, family or friends. I think it is time you start to focus on your relationships.

Dear Joe

I live in a world where we are bombarded with porn and messages of different types of sexual behaviour. I love watching porn of all kinds and I have a long-term boyfriend of five years. What nobody knows is that I have never had anal sex and although I like watching it, I don’t wish to partake in it, either giving or receiving. Increasingly my boyfriend has made it clear he craves it but I know it is something I never want to do. Should I leave him? Or let him sleep with other men?

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sex issue_ATTITUDE The thought of this breaks my heart but surely it is better than him deserting me or cheating. The gay culture is obsessed with anal sex and it dominates much of porn and those who don't like to participate feel shame and a sense they don't belong. Gay men are constantly referring to and defining themselves as ‘tops’ or ‘bottoms’. When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy whether he's a top, a bottom or ‘versatile’. It's important to find this out as soon as possible, because if you are planning to date or get into a relationship, it's vitally important that you and he be sexually compatible with each other. There are people who don’t like anal sex and don’t consider themselves a top or a bottom so I call them ‘sides’. There is so much more to sex than intercourse. Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. That just may be who you are. I like that you are thinking of various options and not being a partner who digs his heels in saying, “I am not engaging in that sexual behavior and nor can you!” Before you address the options though, I would first have a conversation with him and confess you have never had anal sex nor do you want to. You might consider trying to have anal sex because it excites him and see how that goes. You may find you like giving and/or receiving more than you thought you would. Regardless, have that conversation so that together you can discuss the options about letting him sleep with other men or whether or not you stay together. Don’t make that choice alone.

Dear Joe

I am 42 years old, good looking and much sought after. I know this sounds arrogant but it’s true. I have no sexual hang-ups whatsoever but a few friends have questioned recently why I have never had a relationship since I came out at the age of 18. I have never felt the need and never felt ‘in love’. I guess I’m asking, am I some kind of freak? Is there something wrong with me and should I seek to change? My sister says she fears for me when I am old and no one sleeps with me anymore and I can’t pretend it hasn’t crossed my mind. First of all you can tell your sister that having a partner –and even kids for that matter – doesn't assure anyone of anything in terms of being alone or having someone to grow old with. People tend to think that if you are not in a relationship that something is wrong with you. It is very judgmental and shaming, as if being single means you are somehow flawed or damaged. It sounds like it is even making you question yourself. It doesn’t make you a freak. That said, it doesn’t hurt to explore whether it is out of choice or default, and if being single is really what you want. What is it about relationships that might contribute to you not wanting one? Many people avoid the conflict that results in most relationships. If you didn't see your parents relate to one another in a healthy basis or have healthy conflict resolution it can make you grow up and be relationship avoidant. Or are you enjoying being wanted and “much sought after” and don’t want to give up the feeling that gives you? If you feel like you want to try dating you could see how that feels and if it is something you want in your life. You need to be clear in terms of what you want for yourself, not what others think you should want. If you choose to stay single, enjoy it!

‘You might consider trying anal sex because it excites him and see how that goes. You may find you like giving or receiving more than you thought you would’

Dear Joe

I really fancy my boyfriend and I think he is genuinely the hottest man I have ever seen. The sex is, for the most part great – apart from the fact that he has been increasingly showing his S&M side. The other day he spanked me hard during sex. I didn’t know what to say so just went along with it. But it did nothing for me and just felt like it was a bit silly (and painful). How do I negotiate this with him? The truth is that we are all sexually fluid and what turns us on at age 20 changes and morphs to include new exciting and different things at 30, 40 and 50—and even older. So your boyfriend is showing signs of enjoying S&M. This demands many conversations between the two of you so that you can talk about the boundaries, limits and things you may or may not want to do with him. It may have felt silly and painful because you have not talked about it. I recommend to couples that if you are going to introduce something different sexually in the relationship you should try and talk about it first. Tell him that you still think he is the hottest guy and that sex is good and that you are noticing an increase in BDSM play and that you need to talk about it. Even though you talk it through, you may still find it silly and painful and have to negotiate what you will and won’t do. You may become aroused because he is aroused. In other words, while partners may not have the same sexual interests, the turn on for the partner who is not as into the sex play is watching how turned on their partner is themselves. I would urge you to consider this as you engage in BDSM play if you choose. The dark side to this is that your boyfriend may have enough of a growing interest that he needs more than you can or want to offer him. This may lead to an open relationship or one that needs to end. Talking with him is the best way to negotiate this.

Dear Joe

After a year of quite mundane sex I introduced my boyfriend to the world of threesomes and our whole sex life exploded. We have never been turned on by each other as much as we are now. I love watching him with other men and I know he feels the same. Afterwards the sex between us is off-the-scale good. The trouble is, last week he asked if I would like to invite his ex boyfriend to have sex with us. They were together for two years and they only split up because his ex was moving abroad. I know it would be horny – but I am a bit scared of how I will react. And does it mean that he still wants him? Don’t do it. I am not against three ways, especially if it is enhancing your sex life with your boyfriend. However, you said yourself, he ended the relationship for geographical reasons, not because the relationship was over. There is always the possibility that whatever the two of them had at once time can become reignited and you will be left out in the cold. I don't think it has to mean that your boyfriend still wants his ex. It might seem hot for him to have his old boyfriend and current one. But when we have sex we are releasing hormones that attach us to our sex partners whether we like it or not. Serotonin is released causing us to feeling those romantic feelings of falling in love. Oxytocin is released making us feel attached to the person we are having sex with. And finally, Vasopressin is activated, triggering the desire for long-term commitment. These chemicals being released during sex can form bonds and remind them of their commitment to one another in a very powerful way that chemicals do for us. What I hope is holding you back from doing this is your gut and I say in this instance, trust it!

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readers’

sex lives

No attitude sex issue is complete without turning to you, our loyal, rampant readers. we called out to those of you who own a favourite pair of going out undies and were overwhelmed with responses. Here, seven everyday guys joined Attitude at Bar Soho to whip off their togs, show us their knickers and tell us about their sex lives

SAM Reynolds

Words Christian Guiltenane / Photography: Lorna Roach / grooming: Marcis gurgel

HaIRDRESSER, 24

‘I was just thinking “Christ, it’s like being in a porno, high five Sam” ‘

Nice pants! I LOVE wearing these pants as they give me a great bulge and arse! They feel sexy as fuck as they have the mesh on the sides and because they are well fitted, you feel like you’re getting a constant grope on your tush. Are you a confident guy when you’re out chatting up guys? No! People seem to think that I will be because I am confident all the time, but put me in front of a good looking guy and I just act like a little school boy. I have said to a guy before “I’m so sorry but you are way too hot for me to talk to you!” What role do apps like Grindr play in your life? I don’t have Grindr or any other ‘dating’ *cough* hook-up apps. I’m the sort of person who – when on a night out – the village idiot will come up to me swinging a bell screaming “I love you”, so I tend to stay away from anything that can bring them on more. Do you think these apps make people more promiscuous? Yes! Whenever I hear guys say “it’s for dating” or “it’s to make friends,” I just think how desperate are you to make new friends? Is sex important to you? Yeah, every relationship needs it. It’s that one personal thing that a couple share with each other that no one else can or should see. What turns you on in a guy? A sense of humour. I know everyone says that but I mean when a guy can take the piss out of himself and take the piss out of me and not be offended. Does size matter?

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the sex issue_ATTITUDE Come on, lets face it... Size always matters. Are you body confident I’d say yes and my friends would probably say definitely, seeing as they always get sent naked snapchats. I’m trying my hardest at the gym to get more toned and beefy but until that point I’ll just accept the way I look. Do you find that gay men are more self obsessed? Definitely! Just look at my Instagram and it says it all. I think it’s excellent that people have gone selfie-mad – it means men are happy with the way they look and I think people should do it more. Do you like the idea of marriage? Marriage is such a beautiful thing but I can easily see how it isn’t for some couples. I’d personally love the man of my dreams to propose in Venice. How is dating in 2014? Have apps changed the way people behave? What’s with guys asking for your Whatsapp, or Snapchat? What ever happened to “what’s your number?” When you go out, is the aim to find sex? Christ no, my main thing on a night out is to go and have fun and dance the night away. I still live at home so bringing a guy home is never on the cards. What do you expect from a first date? Smiles. I don’t care where first dates are as long as we are both smiling and laughing. Describe your first time. It was at my first boyfriends house. No lube, didn’t last long and wasn’t even drunk either. All in all, awful. Are you regularly tested? I don’t get tested often because – not to sound like a prude – but I don’t have sex regularly with randoms. But if I do I’m always safe and protected, and if I worry, I get tested. How important is safe sex for you? Safe sex is so important and it makes me vom inside to think people don’t care about safe sex. It’s so easy to prevent all those shenanigans. Have you had sex with more than one person at the same time? I’m not afraid to say yes and that it was bloody amazing. Me and two other guys. It was a tad awkward at first but when it all started to get going and the awkward underwear removal was over I was just thinking “Christ, it’s like being in a porno, high five Sam” Could you go out with a guy if he didn’t do sex? A relationship wouldn’t be a relationship if there wasn’t sex involved. It’s pretty key. I know the relationship wouldn’t last long.

‘no one needs to look far for a random hook-up and that just makes it way too easy’

James MacDonald-Hall

social media manager, 23 So why are these your going out pants? I got given them by an ex and to be honest, they are kinda cheeky! Are you confident when you’re out on the prowl? When I first started out I was not that confident chatting guys up, but after a few times I really got into the swing of things. Do you use Grindr? I do use it on and off but it’s mainly all talk. I think it has changed the dating scene because no one needs to look far for a random hook-up and that just makes it way too easy, and distracts guys from actually looking for a decent relationship. Is sex an important thing to you? Yes. What turns you on in a guy? Personality, because at the end the day

looks do fade. Are you body confident? Yes, I recently went on a health detox and lost a lot of weight. Describe your first time? It was a friend from school and that’s all I’m saying. Are you regularly tested? Absolutely everyone should. How important do you rate safe sex? Ten out of ten; it’s a necessity unless you and your partner have been tested. Have you had sex with more than one person at the same time? No comment! My mother might read this! [laughs] Do you want to get married one day? That’s a tough one. Probably not. Have you had a sex disaster I’ve been walked in on once, by my mother. Which celebrity would you like to sleep with? 1000% Aaron Taylor-Johnson!

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‘I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs. So I guess sex is my only vice – which is healthy’

JOHN JACK KIRBY

Yoga instructor, 26 Introduce us to your pants. Well, me and these pants have had some good times. But really, you do walk a little taller when you’re wear a nice fitting pair of tighty-whities. Except these are black. Also I teach yoga, so comfort is important. Are you confident chatting up guys? I am in general. I’m not shy to make eye contact with people and say hello. That has never been a problem for me. However if I really like a guy and think he’s too good looking for me I tend to go quiet and pretend I’m not interested. I know this is stupid because I should do the opposite but I think

on some level I am afraid of rejection. I think everyone is a little bit. How big a role do apps like Grindr play in your life? I have used Grindr in the past, I think it’s a great tool for guys to chat, meet and connect. But for me, I found you’d talk, talk, talk for ages and nothing happens. Do you think these apps make people more promiscuous? I wouldn’t say more promiscuous. I think that promiscuity is and always has been there, it is just bringing it into the palm of our hands and closer than ever before. How important is sex to you? Very. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs. So I guess sex is my only vice – which is healthy.

What do you look for in a man? Sometimes it’s humour, talent or passion, and sometimes it’s physical attraction. Does size matter? An old cruise ship line... “It ain’t about the size of the vessel, it’s about the motion of the ocean.” Pretty self explanatory that one. Are you confident with the way you look? I’d have to be to come here and get my picture taken in my nearly-birthday suit. I wasn’t always, Yoga helped me accept what I’ve got, and working with that rather than wishing for something different. I would love to have a crazy ripped body like Tom Daley, but I’m just as happy to look at his calendar instead. Do you think young gay people are getting the right sex education? We had Sex Ed in secondary school and I left with lots of knowledge about straight sex and birth control and nothing about what I needed to know about gay sex. I had to discover all I needed to know from the internet and GUM clinics. Do you like the idea of marriage? I think it can be a beautiful thing, but it’s not something that has ever appealed to me, even though equal marriage is now in play. Is having sex your main aim when you’re out on the town? When I first hit the scene I wasn’t looking for sex. I was interested in meeting and seeing all these fab people in new open places. The sex came later. Describe your first time? It was as good as it could have been I guess. I was in school and it happened after P.E. class. Are you regularly tested? Yes, I still regularly get tested. It is so important for everyone to do their bit and look after their health. It should be at the top of everyone’s list. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at the same time? I have! I was working in Tenerife years ago and I met this lovely Spanish couple and one thing led to another and... I really enjoyed my time in Tenerife. Could you go out with a guy if he didn’t do sex? I think sex is a healthy part of life whether you’re straight or gay, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I also understand that different people have different sex drives but for me I don’t think I could settle for nothing. My balls would blow! Which celebrity would you like to sleep with? The one which took me to the best parties, or maybe the highest bidder. I’m joking... I guess it would have to be Tom Daley!

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the sex issue_ATTITUDE

sex stories Lost dildo

Tube crush

Me and this guy were playing around with a small dildo. The thrusts soon picked up pace and all of a sudden the dildo disappeared. Thinking it had been sucked up inside him, I jumped and screamed and that made him scream, He was panicking telling me we had to go to A&E, but as he did I noticed the dildo under the sheet! Panic over... As was the passion!

I clocked a guy in an empty carriage looking at me after a boozy night out. He started rubbing his bulge so I did the same. Eventually I had my cock out rubbing it in his direction. I was so up for it that I hadn’t realised that we had stopped in a platform and that all the passengers on the train on the adjacent platform could see everything.

Cum cum! I hooked up with this gorgeous guy one night. He was a great kisser and he gave my arse a good squeeze, But i was so horny that i came in a matter of seconds! to top it off, The trousers I was wearing were the kind that showed up any kind of spillage, so i had to hang around with a nasty cum patch!

Riiiiip!

I’d Hooked up with this guy and We went back to my place where he proceeded to blow me. All of a sudden he asked if i’d cum already. When we turned the lights on it looked like a slasher film. He’d ripped my foreskin and fast made his way to the door.

‘sex isn’t so taboo anymore, which I suppose has its good and bad points”

javier santos

Musical Theatre Actor, 25 Are you confident on nights out? I always thought I was quite confident, especially back in Spain. But then, when I came to the UK and people started telling me I had an accent I became a bit more insecure when it comes to be the first one to speak. Which part of your body would you like to improve? Well I am happy with my height, but I think I have chicken legs. I’m quite lazy when it comes to going to the gym, so it hasn’t improved very much. Do you worry that other men judge you by the way you look? Nobody likes to be judged, but to be honest,

I’m quite good at ignoring what people say and just looking at myself and changing what I don’t like, rather than what others don’t like. Do you think gay men are too self obsessed? I think nowadays we base beauty on looks, when at the end of the day it’s confidence and personality that really make us attractive. I can’t count how many handsome guys have been an awful, boring date. Do you think gay men lack the knowledge of safe sex that straight people have? Coming from a small town in Spain you always think “that doesn’t happen here” or “that won’t happen to me”, but then I came to London and I became more aware of STIs and how to prevent them. I think the UK is quite good at providing information about it. Do you want to get married in the future?

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Yes, my parents are happily married and still together. So I guess I grew up believing in it and admiring it. Is the gay world too obsessed with sex? I think the world in general is a bit obsessed. We have become so oblivious to it being all around us because it’s so overdone from such a young age. It’s not something taboo anymore, which I suppose has its good and bad points. How have you found dating has changed in 2014? It’s quite scary how many people, including myself, rely on apps to find dates, sex or friends. We are all so confident with our phones, but then we have no confidence at all when it comes to the date, and talking and being face-to-face. I think it’s just a trend at the moment, so what can you do?

‘Considering he knew it was my first time, he wasn’t gentle at all and I ran off to the toilet and hid’

Fidel Ranson

Hairdresser, 30 Are you on Grindr? I occasionally use the likes of Grindr, but I don’t let it take over my life. In my opinion apps have definitely changed the way gay dating works. Guys used to have to go to bars, clubs or cruising areas to meet other gay guys, now they stay at home and bring the party to themselves! How important is sex to you? I couldn’t be with someone if the sex wasn’t good! What turns you on in a man? I wouldn’t say I have a type of guy I go for, other than masculinity. That’s what really

turns me on. Does size matter? There is such a thing as too small and too big, but I’m not a size queen, just as long as the guy knows how to use it. Are you body confident? I am, but I’m always wanting to improve my body in some way! My chest always feels flat to me and I would like a bigger chest. Do I worry that other gay men judge me? Yes, of course, that’s what gay men do! Do you think gay men take too many selfies? 100 percent! A lot of guys are addicted to the attention they get in the form of likes. I’m not a massive selfie taker myself. When you go out is the main aim to hook up? No, I go out to be sociable and sex will sometimes happen as a result of going out, but it’s never the reason I go out. Describe your first time? I was working in a hair salon when I came across my first openly gay guy in my life and he asked if I wanted to go on a night out with him to the gay village in Manchester, so I did. I met a guy who was 25 and who was showing me loads of attention, I told him I was 18. At the end of the night, he invited me back to his but I told him I needed to go home. After a lot of convincing and the offer of a lift home I went back. We started to get down to it, and he asked if he could bum me, I told him I hadn’t done that before but after even more convincing, I agreed. Considering he knew it was my first time, he wasn’t gentle at all and I ran off to the toilet and hid. When I eventually came out of the toilet, I made him take me home and that was that. Are you regularly tested? Every three to six months. Safe sex is the most important part! Everyone has to be careful. You can’t afford to be careless these days. I have had unprotected sex before, in the heat of the moment. I regretted it and won’t make that mistake again. (Ed: If you have a condom accident or unprotected sex your local casualty department can give you PEP which can prevent infection if seen within 72 hours.) When you are with a guy, are you always monogamous? Yes, always! Do you want to be married one day? I never used to. Growing up I had always thought I would marry a woman, so when I realised I was gay I thought marriage wasn’t an option for me. I would love to get married now that it is an option.

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the sex issue_ATTITUDE

‘if someone brought out a dental dam before rimming me I’d be so offended’

Robert Stuart

spa coordinator and holistic health blogger for UniquelyOrganic, 25

Why are these your going out pants? They make me feel confident. The colour makes me look more tanned and they’re suggestive but a bit more subtle than a jockstrap! Do you have game when you’re chatting up guys in clubs? I could count on one hand how many guys I’ve successfully approached in a club. On dating apps I’m much more confident but chatting up in real life is not my forté, I had very low self-esteem growing ups! How big a role do dating apps play in your life? Well I’m not on Grindr now as I have a wonderful boyfriend but I did meet him on there. Grindr was a huge part of my life, I logged in every day for three years!! It’s very addictive. My mood that day would depend on if I’d received messages or not! I’m not completely panning apps but I do think that they can be a gateway to more risky sexual behaviours like orgies, chem play and unprotected sex. But you can’t blame the app for that. How important is sex for you? Massively! It’s one of the best parts of the human experience. Sex improves your self esteem, it makes you look better and feel better and reduces stress. It’s also a very important measure of relationship

compatibility. A concept I never understand is no sex before marriage. How do you know you want to buy the car if you don’t take a test drive?! Do you think gay men have become too self obsessed when it comes to selfies etc.? It’s an addiction like any other: Post a selfie, get loads of likes, feel better (temporarily). It’s a temporary high, like drinking a sugary drink or sniffing poppers! I’m a selfie bandit, but even I sometimes think that it’s embarrassing. It’s like you’re asking the world to affirm your attractiveness! Do you think young gay people are getting an adequate education about sex? I would say that most gay men – in fact all youngsters nowadays – probably get most of their sexual education from porn, and ultimately that will be destructive on our collective psyches over time, especially with the propensity of bareback porn saturating the industry. How do you feel about marriage? I want to get married one day. People argue that gay people shouldn’t want to get married as it’s a religious, antiquated ceremony, but I really think that marriage nowadays is about declaring your union rather than making a pact with God. What was your first sexual experience like? I was 18 and it was at university. I’d drunk so much cider that I had to stop the act four times to pee and when he penetrated me the first time it felt like he’d set a firework off up there! He was very sweet but the act was so painful that

I couldn’t face going on more dates with him. I should apologise to him here really shouldn’t I? I didn’t lose my ‘other’ virginity until a couple of months after. Are you regularly tested? Now I’m in a monogamous relationship I’m not, but before that I’d try and go every-time I hooked up with someone new. How important do you rate safe sex? Safe sex is so important if you’re sleeping around. Even though advances in HIV treatment are so great nowadays, there’s still a massive stigma attached. Furthermore some STIs are becoming resistant to antibiotics and who knows what’s lurking round the corner. That said, I also think unprotected sex in a monogamous relationship is important in terms of connection, but you have to be certain you can trust your partner and it is not something to go into lightly. Also, I’ve never really understood wearing a condom during oral and if someone brought out a dental dam before rimming me I’d be so offended, I’d probably start laughing. Are you and your peers well informed on the dangers of not having safe sex? I think there’s so much more info nowadays but there’s also more bareback porn and promiscuous sex available either in a visual form or in person, with certain apps, and I feel that if you’re presented with the choice of reading a bullet-pointed list or watching a Bel Ami video, the latter would win. Would you consider a relationship with someone who didn’t do sex? Nope. I feel that an intrinsic part of dating is sex and I’d be constantly wondering why he didn’t want to have sex with me! Could you live without sex? I suppose so, but my right hand would get awfully tired. What’s your biggest sexual fantasy? My porn knowledge is practically encyclopedic so I have a myriad of different fantasies. I’d say I’m a try-sexual as well so within some boundaries I’d hope to try a lot of different things. The boundary is probably urine. One of my fantasies is imagining I’m a porn star and turning up to set and then having to be intimate with a complete stranger, it’s a hot fantasy but does mean that every once in a while I think that I should start doing porn and have to tell myself “NO!” Which celebrity would you like to get down and dirty with? Well if Dustin Lance Black and Tom Daley invited me and my boyfriend round this Christmas I’d certainly believe that Santa Claus was real and had read my list!

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‘I’m well aware of all the sexual diseases. Sex Clinic on Channel 4 is a very useful tool’

sex stories

the sex issue_ATTITUDE

Mum’s the word When I was 18 I took a hot lad back to my mum’s while she was out. We were going at it like rabbits on all fours when mum walked in. She slapped me across the head and told me off because my sister was in the next room.

Chanikul Dechpholkrang

Freelance VFX Artist, 36 Do dating apps play a large role in your life? Yes! Some would say for better and some for the worse. Personally I’ve found it useful sometimes to make new friends, especially if you’re moving to a new city or country. Do you think these apps encourage promiscuity? Yes I think so, in some ways it’s too easy to meet people now. It used to be more romantic before when people went on dates or to the movies before getting to second or third base. Is sex an important thing for you? Yes and no. It seems to depend on my mood... and the weather. Hot weather makes me more frisky. But as I get older sex is less important than having good friends and a happy social circle. Describe your first time? It was like the taste of summer in the dark cold winter. I was not out back then and the excitement and the relief was unbelievable! Are you regularly tested? Yes, I have always tested regularly, though less so now that I am in a relationship. How important do you rate safe sex? It is the top priority for me if I meet someone new

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and I’m having sex with them for the first time. Would you say you know a lot about the dangers of safe sex? I’m well aware of all the sexual diseases. Sex Clinic on Channel 4 is a very useful tool. Have you had sex with more than one person at the same time? I have, yes. I won’t go into the number! Do you believe in marriage? I believe in love and I know it exists from my parents. When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is. Could you date someone if he didn't want sex? It’s not always about sex. Sometimes the best intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company. Which celebrity do you have the most sexual fantasies about? Monday: Ryan Gosling Tuesday: James Franco Wednesday: Shia LaBeouf Thursday: Joseph Gordon-Levitt Friday: Cam Gigandet Saturday: Dylan O'Brien Sunday: Theo James. Oh, and I also fancy Russell Haward!

Greedy boy I once caught a guy I was going down on checking grindr at the same time. Needless to say I felt like a real princess! he ended up staying over and I woke up to find him taking a picture of us together, terrifying.

NIPPLE RING SHOCK I was hooking up with a guy i thought looked like Robbie Williams. In the taxi to his I was tweaking his sexy nipple ring, But when i got back to his he took off his clothes and it turned out the ring was psoriasis!

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Worried about hair loss? Clinically proven treatment available online

Health express FP.indd 65

25/11/2014 17:37

For his In Their Room film series, writer and director Travis Mathews looks at the intimate environment of gay mens’ bedrooms across the world. To mark the release of his latest instalment, he writes exclusively for Attitude, exploring how the isolation he experienced as a gay youth has been wiped away by the possibilities of modern technology, and yet the hopes and desires of the next generation remain surprisingly similar

Words: travis mathews

cree p er I N T. D I V E B A R . C O L U M B U S , O H I O . 2 0 0 0 — L A T E A F T E R N O O N

I’m 24, shitty drunk, and about to do a karaoke version of Radiohead’s Creep to a group of indifferent football players. It’s some weird part of the afternoon and we’re the only people in this dive bar. I can’t remember why I’m here, alone, in the first place, but I feel the ripeness of a “scene” with a setup that’s almost too perfect to ignore. In my head, I direct the moment even before stepping onto the stage. It’s the third act of the film, and to everyone’s delight, the faggy alt-weirdo from high school finds redemption as an ironic sweater-wearing 20-something with a microphone. I can’t hurry through the song fast enough, my friend Linda is gonna laugh her ass off about this one. The amount of time from when I leave the stage to the time when I reach Linda’s apartment is comically excruciating by 2014 standards, about 30 minutes. I didn’t own – or believe in owning – a cell phone in 2000. Like most of my friends, I felt they were just accessories to self-important assholes. Why would I ever need one?

EXT. L I C KI N G C O U N TY , O H I O . 1 9 9 3 — D A Y I’m 18, aimlessly driving backroads in my Caprice Classic with typical teenage angst. Ohio is shit. These people are shit. I live in a rural county called “Licking” for Christ’s sake. It’s no wonder escape is all I think about. My girlfriend and I are nearly finished writing a story we’ve titled, “California Bound”, that’s exactly as it sounds. We’re hatching a plan to run away after graduation, and if it fails,

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Travis Mathews_ATTITUDE I’ll go it alone. ‘Maybe I’ll go to Europe,’ I think. We listen to indie music from far-off places, like Manchester and London – places where life just seems cooler, smarter, and more alive. If we belong anywhere, I bet it’s at least that far away. I’m singing at the top of my lungs to my favourite new song – anthem really – from a band called Radiohead. It blasts from my car speakers as a declaration of war against everything around me. “I’m a creeeeeep, I’m a weirdooooo, what the hell am I doing heeeeere? I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here...” And like so many other likeminded weirdos who felt isolated for any number of reasons, I really really mean it. In my mind, I’m like, no, you don’t understand, like I REALLY don’t belong here. It doesn’t occur to me until much later that there are tons of kids around the world feeling just as alienated. As a semi-closeted gay teen growing up in the rural Midwest, sans cable, and with only the most rudimentary understanding of what the Internet is, I’m understandably lonely. I have more faith in Thom Yorke’s impassioned delivery of Creep than I do in any number of adults around me. To my ears, his words amount to a melancholy promise of some distant place where I might feel at home. I don’t belong here, but I might belong there, in London, maybe San Francisco? A somewhere else place seemed possible.

IN T./ E XT. L O N D O N. 2012 — MO R NI NG I’ve just turned 37. I rest my head against the window of the moving train and watch London get swallowed up by a now-familiar blanket of grey. I’m nearing the end of a five week trip where I’ve screened my first feature, I Want Your Love, and filmed about a dozen men for the third instalment of my In Their Room series. It’s raining when the train arrives, nearly two hours later, at a tiny village on the sea. John (aka Jeanie Dee) – who bears more than a passing resemblance to an aging Iggy Pop – greets me at the station in his motorised wheelchair. A retired truck driver turned occasional drag queen, John is nearly 80, and recovering from a stroke he had the previous year. We hug, then I follow him through the rain. Because “place” is important to In Their Room, I almost always ask to see pictures before committing to anyone, but in John’s case I haven’t bothered. I’m considering this as we arrive outside his building, which by now, I’ve travelled most of the day to reach. I’m not sure why it never occurred to me that he lived in a nursing home, but here it was. John tells me to go sign in and to wait for him in the front lobby. I’m just sitting there in the lobby, thankful that I’d managed to keep my camera dry and wondering if I’m about to break an arcane English sex law, when John tells me to come back to his room. Once alone, in his room, I lean down with some questions. “You watched my work, yeah? You read all that stuff I sent you about why I’m doing this, yeah?” John nods decisively. “I don’t want to pander to you because you’re older. I want to ask you the same questions and film you the same way I would a 25-year-old. Does that make sense? You’re cool with that?” John struggles to speak clearly, but I understand him perfectly. “It’s important for me to do this because I want people to see that you can still be sexy after a stroke,” he tells me. John is quick to share wild sex and drug stories from days past in London, and it’s clear to me that he misses the nightlife. But he stays connected via Facebook, YouTube, email and the like, and he seems to enjoy something of a wild elder status among the ‘kids’. He’s also as active on sex and dating apps as any of the young guys I recently met in London, and often successful. He shares recent stories of guys sneaking into the nursing home to blow him before emphasising that it’s “companionship” that he looks for most these days. There’s a loneliness in his face, but it’s not despair. Despite the inherent isolation of John’s situation, technology has

helped to mitigate his loneliness and to make sex and companionship possible in this sleepy town perched on the sea.

I N T. S A N F R A N C I S C O . 2 0 1 4 — N I G H T I’m 39, sleepy-eyed, in the same bedroom I’ve claimed for the past 16 years of living in SF. I moved into this apartment when I was 23, and while I’ve travelled and subleased a lot, I’ve never really left the Upper Haight. This feels like my rent-controlled home. Every five minutes, I check my iPhone. I check Grindr, I check Scruff, and occasionally I check Tinder – mostly out of some timekilling habit, but I remain open to all sorts of possibilities. Connection is compulsive in 2014. It’s available and seemingly everywhere, and it’s no longer the luxury that it was just a few short years ago when I started this series. You can argue that these are cheap connections or that hook-up culture has made all of us ADD when it comes to ‘real’ contact. I won’t argue that it’s there, but it’s not everything. What’s great about GPS driven apps is that almost anyone can find someone, and usually someone conveniently located, regardless of where you are. But it’s up to you to make it a real connection. When I started the series in 2009, apps and iPhones didn’t exist, it was the moment of flip-phones and Blackberries – quaint, by today’s standards. When I shot the London episode, just three years later in 2012, everyone seemed to have multiple Apple products to help them stay connected. In what feels like real time, technology is redefining isolation. And it’s the never-ending advancements in technology that will keep this series interesting in years to come.

I N T. B O Y H O O D H O M E . O H I O . 2 0 1 2 — D A Y A long time ago, I made a quiet deal with my mom that if I came home during the summer she’d overlook my absence during winter. I quickly learned to bring work home in order to keep myself sane. I was planning to edit In Their Room London this August, but when James Franco appeared out of nowhere, I needed a month to edit our film. I have exactly this month to edit Interior. Leather Bar. Some folks like to say that I’m a pornographer. Well, don’t tell that to my mom, who is suddenly thrilled about my work. It’s kinda cool, kinda weird. In Their Room was always meant to be something that my 16-yearold self could appreciate, something that would have made him feel less lonely and isolated, with the suggestion that we’re all more alike than we are different. I imagine that most of the men I’ve filmed have similar reasons for their own participation. I just question what kind of place that 16-year-old would imagine in 2014. Would he even dream of London or San Francisco, two of the most unaffordable cities in the world? And with such access to cheap technology, would he even feel the need to dream that big? I take a break to check Grindr. Sometimes the nearest country boy is ten miles away, but today I’m in luck. Less than a mile from my house is a cute 22-year-old who wants to have sex in the woods that separates his house from mine. Sure, okay. We make a date that gets thwarted by a heavy thunderstorm, but we continue chatting. I quickly discover that we went to the same rural high school; that he’s been openly out for years, with little to no pushback; that he’s already been to far off places like Puerto Rico and Berlin; that he prefers his ass dominated; that he’s never heard of Radiohead; and that technology was just something he grew up with. He seems so well-rounded and sheltered from the angst I knew as a teenager, that I can’t imagine him being pained about much of anything. I ask him what he wants to do after college and he hems and haws, “I don’t know. I just want to get the fuck out of here.” • In Their Room is released on DVD and On-Demand from Peccadillo Pictures, available from all good retailers.

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26/11/2014 15:23

As BBC one fantasy drama Atlantis returns for a second series, we meet the hit show’s hunky and rapidly rising star, Jack Donnelly

I

t’s been a whirlwind 18 months for Jack Donnelly. After graduating from London’s Central School of Speech and Drama and going on to appear in the likes of Doctors and Misfits, the 28-year-old hit the big time last year, landing the lead role of unlikely hero Jason in primetime BBC One fantasy series Atlantis. Co-starring the likes of Sarah Parish as a power-hungry queen and The Full Monty’s Mark Addy as a Hercules who’s seen better days, the show quickly filled the actionadventure void left by the departure of Merlin and Robin Hood, while a generous quota of topless sword-fights certainly ticks another box as far as we’re concerned. The eldest of four brothers in a family of entertainers (his mum even choreographed Bucks Fizz’s winning 1981 Eurovision entry), acting’s been in Jack’s blood from a young age, and it’s clear he’s loving every minute of the ride so far. Laidback, garrulous and as-yet unguarded, by the end of our chat Attitude definitely has, to paraphrase one Bridget Jones, a bit of a crush now actually.

man Words: Will Stroude Photography: Joseph Sinclair grooming: Marcos gurgel Location: Conrad London st. James

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jack donnelly_ATTITUDE

Briefs by David Gandy for Autograph

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jack donnelly_ATTITUDE

Briefs by David Gandy for Autograph

‘I promised myself to enjoy it more, because last year I just kept thinking I was going to be fired!’

So how did you find the shoot? It was a fun experience! I was just hanging out in my boxers, had a bit of body oil put on me and frolicked on the bed and in the bath – it was a good day! [laughs] There was a lot of tensing and breathing in. I didn’t really breathe out for about two hours! I gave it my best blue steel face. I don’t mind being filmed but having my photo taken I always seize up, I’m hoping that out of all the shots they took there might be some that are passable! Atlantis was your first big acting break. How did it feel to approach it a second time round for series two? I was less nervous this year. I spent most of last year trying to avoid having panic attacks! I promised myself to enjoy it more and have more of a laugh, because last year I just kept thinking I was going to be fired! Obviously the first series didn’t air until after filming so I had no idea how to gauge how I was doing. Then I watched it back last year and was like “THAT’s what I was doing?!” [laughs] But also the tone of the show has changed so much this year. I don’t think we’re a dark TV show but it’s certainly matured. The story encompasses a lot more characters and branches out so you see a lot more of the world at large. So you’re self-conscious when you watch yourself back? Terribly. I hate it! I hate it to the point that I don’t think it’s very good for me to watch it. I love watching the show and watching what everyone else does, but watching myself is horrible. I think ‘Well just don’t watch it then’ but it’s like a car crash, I can’t seem to turn away! [laughs] So I try to be as objective as possible, but for the most part it kills me! You do all of your own stunts too, how’s that been going? Yeah it’s been physically far more demanding this year, there’s been a lot more action and a lot more fighting. Last year there was one stunt they didn’t let me do: they didn’t let me jump off a 40-foot wall. You must have been gutted about that. [laughs] I was so up for it until I saw it happen – I was like ‘I’m good thanks!’ But this year I did everything. There was nothing I didn’t do, which I’m quite proud of. We were all put through our paces. There was a period in the middle where we were just swordfighting for three and a half weeks in what is basically a massive war. I mean, you’ll see for yourself when the series comes out. You managed to stab yourself through the elbow with a sword last year – have you avoided any mishaps this time around? I’ve avoided stabbing myself! I’ve improved since last year: I had a sprained ankle which I had to go to A&E for, and then a week before filming finished I got hit with a sword right above my eye, which has scarred. My mum hates it but I quite like! At least it wasn’t two centimetres down! Well that’s what everyone said! I’ve just got a cool scar now. Have you always been a fan of fantasy and action shows? Yeah, I mean I’m the oldest of four brothers and this was the exact genre I was into. We used to live in the New Forest when I was younger and run around with bows and arrows with war paint all over our faces. So to get to do all the things that come with the show, I love it. It’s right up my street. And obviously that means you have to be in incredible shape, as we saw for ourselves today… [laughs] Well like I said, I’m breathing in! What does your training regime involve? Well I finished series one and thought ‘I’ve got five months to get in really good shape for series two, I’m going to hit the gym and get a trainer,’ and then about three weeks

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Cinq&Sept GAY GUESTHOUSE SOUTH OF FRANCE

Hosts Alex & Greg

Six elegant self-catering suites in a 300 year-old mansion. 25mins from Mediterranean beaches. Enjoy superb restaurants, wine tasting and garden parties. Relax and make new friends.

cinqetsept.com Love ain’t a crime





“very elegant and fantastically honest”

“A fascinating, stirring portrait of the early European gay-rights movement”

Ham & High

Attitude

“A Beautiful Love Story”

“fascinating” TOTAL FILM

BOYZ

ilm by AA film by Stefan Stefan Haupt Haupt www.thecircle-movie.com

AND SELECTED

CINEMAS

NATIONWIDE

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JACK DONNELLY_ATTITUDE FASHION ASSISTED BY JACKSON FORSTER GROOMING BY MARCOS GURGEL USING BOBBI BROWN AND AMERICAN CREW

IPAD AND TABLET VERSIONS FEATURE MORE EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS & VIDEO CONTENT

before we started I was like ‘Oh… I have left this way too late!’ What diet do you usually stick to? I try my best with my diet because that seems to be the best thing; so lots of vegetables and protein, no carbs and trying not to have sugar, I keep it that simple. As for training it’s just high intensity stuff. If I’ve only got half an hour I’ll just try and do one exercise straight to the other. But I’m deceptively weak, as my brother pointed out… That’s what brothers are for! They always do! All my brothers are really strong and they’re in great shape so it’s shocking how little I can lift! It’s a lost battle. Are you all competitive? Not in any serious way. We all support each other and back each other, but we do like to have a go at each other and compete. One little brother’s a model and the other is in Vegas with Cirque du Soleil so for a long time they were winning, but now my youngest brother’s just written a musical and there’s a chance it could go to the West End, so now we’re all losing and my parents love him most because of it! [laughs] Oh god, that’s going to sound so terrible in print. Thankfully the residents of Atlantis aren’t renowned for their heavy clothing. Are you a bit of an exhibitionist in real life? No! I guess I used to be, but not so much anymore. I did know there’d be some topless stuff. You can’t really think about the fact you’re doing it otherwise you become too self-aware. One particularly notable scene in series one saw you waking up totally naked in a chicken coop too… Yep, that was actually filmed on my birthday last year. I was turning 28 that day and I had to wake up naked in a chicken coop and run through the street! Funnily enough the chicken idea only came later. I was supposed to just be covering myself and I had pants on but you could see the pants, so the cameraman was like “You’re going to

have to cut them,” and we kept cutting them and making these pants smaller and smaller until essentially it was just a piece of material and some tape! We thought ‘This is no good, this is a family show and you can see everything!’ So one of the producers said “Why not use the chicken?! Just don’t hassle it too much and it won’t peck or scratch!” It seems like an ordeal holding a live pecking animal… there. [laughs] Are you speaking from experience?! No it was terrifying, I was like “If this thing starts to go to town on me…!” It was the most horrible feeling. We did about three takes of me running with it and trying to cover up while keeping the claws away from everything that counts! I don’t know how much I managed to keep hidden! Are you starting to get a lot of fan attention? Something tells us your gay fan base might start increasing. That’s awesome. I mean, I am starting to get recognised, but only because people come up to me and go “Are you Lee Mead?!” [laughs] They always say “Are you who I think you are?” and I go “Maybe, who do you think I am?” and they say “Lee Mead!” So I am getting recognised a lot, just not as myself! It’s the hair that does it. Someone the other day told me I’d make a killing as a Lee Mead look-a-like, so that’s probably how I’ll spend the time between series two and three! Are you seeing anyone right now? [laughs] Very much single, very much single. Oh good the, Attitude readers will be pleased to know. But are you enjoying becoming a bit of a heart-throb? Well that’s a lovely thing to hear, but my youngest brother is a model and my other brothers are ripped, so if you’re not even a heartthrob in your own family then you can hardly put it out there – I’m not even the hottest one at home! They keep me in check. They level my ego out massively. But, you know, I’ll take what I can get! [laughs] • Atlantis airs on BBC One, Saturday at 8.30pm

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let’s get pr e p e d N e w t e s t s i n t h e U K a n d F r a n c e a r e s h o w i n g t h a t HI V - p r e v e n t i n g p i l l P r EP c a n s t o p i nf e c t i o n s , e v e n f o r t h o s e h a v i n g b a r e b a c k s e x . Bu t P r EP b r o u g h t s o m e h e a t e d d e b a t e a t t h e r e c e n t Y o un g P e o p l e ’ s D i s c u s s i o n o f HI V e v e n t i n S o h o . P a t r i c k C a s h r e p o r t s Words: Patrick Cash photography: miles elliot The Young People’s Discussion of HIV was held in front of an audience in Soho as part of the 56 Dean Street Gay Men’s Wellbeing Campaign. The panel – of Maximus Crown, Mark-Ashley Dupé, Baga Chipz and Kayden Gray – was assembled by London gay community magazine QX. An open communication forum for anyone to come talk about how they perceive issues mentioned in this article runs monthly in Soho, supported by Attitude: facebook.com/LetsTalkAboutGaySexAndDrugs

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asanova was the world’s greatest lover. Great title, but it came with attendant risks. Syphllis was rampaging through the wanton boys and buxom wenches of the 18th century. Luckily, some kind soul whispered in his ear about pigs’ bladders. He gave it a quick rinse, slipped it on and got back up the nearest orifice before you could say “intestinal slime”. In the future, people may look back on the condom as we feel about pigs’ bladders. “They wore what on their penises?” But since the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, the condom has been our greatest defence against HIV infection. Until now, perhaps. PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), or Truvada, is the magic blue pill that could prevent HIV. For the PROUD medical trial in the UK, gay men were recruited online and in sexual health clinics. They were randomly split into two groups: one group was given PrEP to take daily, and the other no PrEP. In October of this year PrEP was declared highly protective, and that the ‘no PrEP’ group should immediately be given the drug. Two weeks later, a French study named IPERGAY announced similar results. Instead of daily dosing, IPERGAY had been analysing the effectiveness of PrEP taken in the two-day period before and after sex. This is news that should be welcomed by the panel on the Young People’s Discussion of HIV, held in Soho, who identified daily adherence as a potentially off-putting element to welcoming PrEP. “Taking a tablet every day isn’t easy,” said DJ Maximus Crown. “Taking PrEP when you don’t have to, you’ll eventually fall into the habit of there’s really no point.” In America PrEP has been licensed since 2012, though its availability differs through states and health insurance schemes. Its arrival has been wreathed in controversy and stigma. Michael Weinstein lead the fight against HIV/AIDS in the 80s and is now head of the AIDS Health Foundation (AHF), running ‘Love Condoms’ campaigns. Weinstein has called PrEP a “party drug” for barebacking and a “public health disaster in the making”, adamant that daily adherence won’t be achieved. David Duran wrote a controversial anti-PrEP essay named ‘Truvada Whores?’, a title that has since been reappropriated by PrEP advocates as a hashtag and t-shirt. One man on the PROUD study, who came wearing his #TruvadaWhore t-shirt to the Young People’s Discussion, was Greg Mitchell. During the PrEP debate, he stated to the panel: “I’m somebody who takes care of my health, I’m 62 and I’m still negative. When I got the chance to do this, it was an amazing discovery for me. Because all of a sudden, anxiety is gone. I can have sex without HIV.” The issue of sex with strangers quickly rose its hydra-headed face. “I will say to anybody I talk to on PrEP that I take my pills every day,” said Greg. “However you don’t know that. I know I’m safe. Your decision is your decision.” Club promoter Mark-Ashley Dupé was not convinced. “But what if you miss a day or two? I just don’t know you. With my partner, by all means, but with a stranger, use a condom.” DJ Maximus Crown said at the Young People’s Discussion: ‘Using a condom is so unnatural. It’s made of rubber; rubber is used for gripping cars to the road. Nobody on the face of this planet can ever try and deceive me into believing they enjoy using a condom. However it’s the most easily accessible [prevention method].” Absolute numbers of new HIV diagnoses have been going up for several years. If 100 gay men were followed for one year, three new HIV infections would be expected. Put another way, 3,500 tested positive last year. “PrEP offers an exciting opportunity to make a major difference to the epidemic,” says Professor Sheena McCormack, a medical expert behind the PROUD study. “We are pretty sure that the majority of

Prep_ATTITUDE people who are infectious with HIV think of themselves as negative either because they have not tested at all, or because the last time they tested HIV negative they had in fact caught HIV just before the test, or subsequently. PrEP provides an incentive to be tested regularly and because it is highly protective for the individual, it is protecting the people they have sex with too! “However, the drugs we are using are the same drugs we use for treatment. They are expensive and the budget is limited so there are opportunity costs to consider. Condoms on the other hand, are relatively cheap for the NHS and reduce the risk of more than just HIV. It’s not just sexual health demands that PrEP might threaten, it’s also treatment in other diseases. All this has to be considered.” The cost of PrEP came up in the Young People’s Discussion. “£400 per person per month, that’s a lot of money,” said Mark-Ashley. “That money should be put into the homeless, not so that you can get your end away without a condom… I’d rather use a condom and then if I don’t, I’ll get PEP [post-exposure prophylaxsis].” Simon Collins, of treatment activist group i-Base, took the floor to respond. “You’re worth £400 a month,” he stated. “It costs £1,000 a month to put you on PEP! Anybody who accesses PEP more than once a year should be offered Truvada and when more data comes out showing how effective it is we need a groundswell from the gay community saying that we cannot be denied something that they’ve had access to in America for over two years! 3,500 gay men is shocking. A good percentage of those will be under 30.” There are additional pros and cons writhing around PrEP. Its introduction may paradoxically stymie HIV vaccine efforts. “Having something as effective as PrEP makes it harder to do the HIV vaccine trials plus it sets a high bar for a vaccine” says Sheena. Yet PrEP might be revolutionary in preventing another method of gay men passing on HIV: injecting drugs. As chemsex trends rise in the gay male population of London and other urban areas, where people are ‘slamming’ mephedrone and crystal meth, HIV is also liable to be spread by needles. The Bangkok Study (2013) proved the effectiveness of PrEP against drug-injected HIV. Sheena McCormack says the recent advancements in the PROUD study will speed up the availability of PrEP on the NHS, but the commissioning process itself takes over a year, therefore the earliest that PrEP could be commissioned would be the 2016/17 financial year. In the meantime, some gay men are importing it from America. For gay porn star Kayden Gray the debate boiled down to communication. “When you take a condom you don’t need to communicate anything to anyone,” he said. “But when you’re on PrEP a discussion opens, where part of your prevention is communicating with other people and that’s what people have a huge problem with.People don’t want to be ashamed, and they don’t want to be rejected in an environment where they’re having fun.” Communication was repeatedly identified as a vital, and lacking, tool in tackling HIV. “Events like these don’t happen on the gay scene,” said Maximus. “It’s too late for me to take PrEP now. I think part of the problem as well is that people who are diagnosed don’t talk about it… And because nobody knows, it just becomes this hush-hush secret society of people with HIV.” PrEP and condoms are both practical solutions to a problem that ultimately has psychological origins. HIV is the gay scene’s boogie man, always lurking in the mind but never on the tongue. A silence which makes HIV positive men not reveal their status, and HIV negative men misunderstand the unknown positive. Yet ultimately there is no division; whether negative or positive, we are all human beings fighting a virus. We win this battle by talking: about sex, about PrEP, and about HIV.

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Scary, straight talking

and sexually fluid

B-SEXUAL Words: Aaron Toumazou

we get Mel B’s take on a big year

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tarting out the year causing panic on the streets of London in a Costa Bingo advert, 300ft tall and swinging from Tower Bridge (in six inch stilettos, of course), it became quickly clear that as far as the formidability factor is concerned, Mrs Melanie Brown is only matched by the iconic monster she was being likened to: Godzilla. In many ways, that advert flagged how she meant to go on; her larger than life personality back in our lives unavoidably when she packed up her life in Los Angeles for three months to take a seat on the UK’s X Factor judging panel. Of course, Saturday night TV has bountifully displayed the tough front she’s become known for, but on the whole she’s been an overwhelmingly well received addition to the show – much to the shock of Mel herself. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t prepared for slightly aggressive, no-nonsense Mel as we begin to chat. So it came as quite a shock how, well… nice she is about everyone. Leigh Francis – who did his best to immortalise her in his to-this-day hilarious Bo Selecta parody – is now her good friend; Victoria, Geri, Emma and Mel C all seem to be on the Christmas card list and she’s not got a single bad word to say about Louis Walsh. Literally, not even one. And this is no PR hush up. Of her peers, none have continued the Spice Up Your Life ethos quite so boldly as Scary, recently speaking to Alan Carr about having been with women before marrying her husband. We’ve always loved a fierce bitch, but here’s a lady so unnerving she dresses up as herself on Halloween(!!!) which qualifes a woman of the year accolade in our book. Here, Mel talks openly about experimenting with women, why she feared a negative reception in the UK and her most memorable moments of 2014.

Did you come in to 2014 knowing it was going to be a big year for you? In my brain, every year’s a big year for me [laughs]. Because I make the best and the most out of everything that I do. I don’t necessarily have to work for the work that I do. I thoroughly love it and I thoroughly enjoy it and I make the most of it all, whether it be moving to Sydney for two years, putting my kids in school there; whether it be me moving to London for three months, moving my entire family and putting my kids in school here... I’m just making the most out of every situation! And hopefully, you know, I get a nice reception as I arrive. For Halloween this year you dressed up as Scary Spice circa 1997. What would you say is the main way you’ve changed since then? Well I haven’t changed. I called up one of my good friends Julien Macdonald – and I actually did his fashion runway show 15 years ago with Kate Moss – and he’s, you know, a hot-to-trot designer. I said “Julien, could you make me a Halloween costume?” This is four days before Halloween. He goes “Okay, so what are we thinking?” and I go “Uuuhhhh... can you do me like, a Scary Spice leopard-print outfit?” He goes “You’re joking!” I go “No!” He goes “No problem!” 24 hours later, costume arrives, my hair guy that I brought over from L.A. bought me a £20 wig – and off I went, dressed as myself! Which I thought was hilarious! Even Leigh Francis – who is a very good friend of mine now – he was dressed up as Beetlejuice and he was there at Jonathan Ross’s party. He goes “Oh my God, that is SUCH a good Mel B impression!” He came over to me and we started talking and he went “You’ve even got the accent and everything!” I said, “Leigh you silly bugger, it’s me!” He goes “Fuck off! Who comes dressed as themselves?!” I said “me!” That was just me taking the complete piss out of myself! Which I’m always doing. Before anybody else does it! What are your musical highlights of this year? Well I’ve actually been in and out of the studio myself, but I haven’t managed to get that song that I want to get out there as a good representation for what I want to be doing. But, I mean, there’s been lots of breakthroughs in music this year... Beyonce releasing songs and videos that no one even knew about. How she could have kept that a secret, I have no idea! Also Lady Gaga teaming up with the old geezer, what’s his name... Tony Bennett! I mean, who would have thought of that

collaboration? There’s been a lot of things that have gone on musically that have been quite groundbreaking and I just think music is going to be doing that constantly now. There’s always going to be that surprise. And it’s been such a promising year on The X Factor. Obviously I’ve been bringing my kids to work cos it’s a weekend, and my sevenyear-old was writing down on my notepad in the commercial break: “Tell Stereo Kicks that I want them to win!’ I’d say “What about mummy’s category?” and she’d go “No, tell Stereo Kicks I want them to win,” and that’s it! I’ve had a good time here in London. I wasn’t expecting it... Actually, to be honest; I don’t know what I expected. I haven’t lived here for 15 years; I’ve been based in L.A. and for two years of that I was based in Sydney. Another year of that I was based in New York doing Broadway. So I haven’t really spent that much time here. Obviously I’ve been here, like, every couple of months for two or three days but I haven’t spent a big block of time so I wasn’t really prepared for much. I mean, I was kind of prepared for the negative rather than the positive, to be honest. Why? Because I don’t think I’m everybody’s cup of tea. I’ll say it how it is, and I’ve always been like that. And I’ve been – throughout the years – criticised for being too brash, too harsh, too honest, not tactful. So... I am what I am. Well a huge part of your year was The X Factor– The biggest part of the year, for me, was packing up my whole entire house and four kids and getting on a flight and actually moving here. Sydney was different because it was two years. Just to pack up and find schools and, you know, all my kids are educated on an American curriculum – I had to find schools that had an American curriculum and make sure my kids were happy. It was a chore, but worth it, because my kids are very, very happy, my husband’s happy, I’m happy. And the plan is to return to L.A. after this? The show finishes on a Sunday, I go back to L.A. on the Monday. Well while you’re still on the judges’ table I have to ask: Snog, marry, kill – Simon, Louis, Cheryl? [laughs] None of that. You have to. I don’t. Well, true… I love Louis Walsh, he’s been a good friend of mine for ten years. Cheryl, we speak to each other now on a daily basis. I think she’s

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mel b_ATTITUDE gorgeous. She’s adorable: Such a strong, independent woman who I admire and respect. Simon, we have a giggle and a bit of a fight with each other. We love each other. Sometimes we hate each other, but we’re both very smart; we’re both business people. I respect him for what he’s achieved in his life too, and he’s rightly said to me “You’re a woman that I never thought worked this hard, and I respect you for that.” Cheryl spoke to us pretty scathingly about Louis Walsh. Is he hard to work with? Louis is funny. I love Louis. You know, he’s Irish and he’s a bit all over the place and he’s just quirky. The best characters aren’t normal, and he isn’t normal. What even is normal? I love a bit of quirkiness. Back in 2008 in an interview we did with Girls Aloud, Cheryl said “We recognise what the Spice Girls did, but it really annoys me when I meet girls and they say they want to be the next Spice Girls. I think ‘piss off’. Yes, they had world-wide domination but they fell out, bitched about each other and went their separate ways.” We never really fell out! I can’t imagine Cheryl saying that, she’s a really good friend of mine now. Myself and the other girls, we’ve never fallen out. We’ve always supported each other. As a group, we knew that we weren’t going to be together forever. You know, when I first got a call from Missy Eliot, and she wanted me to do a song with her, I was like “I have to ask my girls first!” Because I’d never done anything else, other than be with my Spice Girls. And it was a simple answer of “well we all want to do something on our own at some point, so go ahead and do it.” And I did. And I don’t think it’s fair to compare people to other people, but comparisons between us and Girls Aloud were inevitable – I know that. That is just what happens. Personally, I think there’s room for everybody: Multiple girl groups, boy groups, solo artists. Everything and everyone. Has there been much competition between you and Cheryl for the limelight? Have you ever got dressed for a live show, seen what Cheryl’s wearing and changed? No, because me and Cheryl have different body frames, we’re different colours, we have different hair. What she would wear, I probably wouldn’t fit in to. What I wear would probably frighten her. I think we both have great taste. It’s just different taste. Would you ever wear one of Victoria’s dresses on a live show? I have done! Not The X Factor, I did The Queen Latifah Show – her talk show – right before I left for the UK. That would have been eight

weeks ago, and I wore one of her dresses. It was gorgeous; it was beige with a big zip up the back. I gave her a shout-out and a big thanks. Victoria makes very flattering dresses; I think she’s done amazing, and her clothes are beautiful. She was in town recently, did you meet up? No, I was working. I work! When something like Spice Girls disbands, would you say there’s some unspoken competition to outshine or one-up the other members? I don’t think so, no, cos we’re all different. That’s why it worked in the very beginning, and that was our message. You can have a best friend who is a completely different colour to you, thinks differently to you, acts differently to you. But have something in common – which is being a female, supportive friend and a non-judgemental friend. That has always been our message and it’s lived on to this day. You’ve been one of the most vocal girls about getting back together... It didn’t end! It’s still going! I wouldn’t even say it like getting ‘back together’, because we’ve never not been ‘together’ because we’re still friends. Publicly, whether we do – you know – a tour, a charity song, whether we do an appearance on a show together, we didn’t just end. I’m hoping at some point it will happen again. It’s not on the cards right now but look at the Olympics. You spoke recently about going through a stage of experimentation with the same sex. Would you identify as bisexual? Well at 17 you want to experiment. I don’t think you should put a name on it. Well actually, I don’t care if people put a name on it. I didn’t. I had fun! I had a great five-year relationship with a lovely lady who I still talk to to this day, and that’s that. I mean, if it happened yesterday I would probably be saying something different. But I’ve been happily married to my husband for seven years. You likened yourself to “one of those heterosexual ladies who become a lesbian” on Chatty Man, do you think that’s quite a common thing for women? You don’t hear it so much about gay men. I mean, I would be the first person to say to my husband, to this day, “Oh my God look at that woman over there, she’s absolutely stunning!” I would be way more likely to point out a woman than my husband would be. But that’s because I think women are beautiful. Where that puts me – in whatever category – I’ve no idea. Do I want to spoon with a woman, and snuggle? No. I want to do that with my husband. At 17 I wanted to

spoon and snuggle and do everything with a woman... But not right now. So which of the other Spice Girls would 17-year-old Mel B have spooned and snuggled with? Well I’ve kissed all the other Spice Girls. Nothing sexual; I had a tongue fear and I was like “tell me how this feels. Does it feel weird? Does it feel awful?” But that was nothing sexual at all. They were all like “yuck!” Would you agree that you and Victoria have had the most success of all the Spice Girls? It depends how you rate success. I mean, Geri’s got a beautiful daughter, so has Mel C, so has Emma. Emma’s got her radio show. Mel C is doing really well with all of her music stuff. Right now Geri’s in the studio with Eliot Kennedy, who we wrote Love Thing with, in Sheffield, so it depends how you rate success. Everybody’s doing exactly what they want to do and everyone’s happy. Do you measure success by happiness? I just like to feel good. I like to give myself a challenge. When I’m scared about doing a job, or of a certain situation, it pushes me to want to do it even more. Even today, you know, auditioning for Coronation Street and landing the role. I’m in the car learning my lines and I still question myself. Can I pull it off! And we’ll soon find out. [later that day Mel travelled to the Corrie set in Manchester to film, she’ll be playing a security guard] What do you think 2015 holds for you? I don’t know. I don’t like to think too far ahead, because I’ve never planned... I mean, I do have a game plan, but that always changes. There has to be room for surprise, because The X Factor cropped up and here I was, packed up and in the UK. There’s always room for adventure, and I like that. Will you return for The X Factor next year? I don’t know. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself here. Not so much the weather and the rain, but my kids like it here. They watch Peppa Pig and they like putting their wellies on and splashing around in muddy puddles. Getting the umbrellas out. Would I return? You know what, good question. I haven’t been asked, I haven’t even had that thought process. All I know is that I’ve really enjoyed it. We’ve really enjoyed having you. Which was shocking for me, because I thought everyone was going to hate me! You can’t dilute me! That’s why I was worried people were gonna go “who is this bitch?!” I am what I am and I say exactly what I think, and that’s that. • tickets for the X Factor live tour, starting in Belfast on 13 February, are on sale now.

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'Do I want to spoon with a woman, and snuggle? No. I want to do that with my husband. At 17 I wanted to spoon and snuggle and do everything with a woman... but not right now’

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OPEN SEASON? ARE GAY MEN REALLY PREDISPOSED TO MONOGAMY? OR IS THIS A ‘HETERO-NORMATIVE’ LIE SOLD TO US BY STRAIGHT WANNABES? OR COULD IT BE THAT THE SIMPLE WAY IS THE BEST WAY? ARE OPEN RELATIONSHIPS JUST A FAST-TRACK TO EMOTIONAL TORTURE AND AN EVENTUAL BITTER, DESTRUCTIVE BREAK-UP? SO MANY QUESTIONS. RUSSELL DEAN STONE ATTEMPTS TO WADE THROUGH THE TREACLE OF MODERN GAY LIFE TO FIND THE ANSWERS...

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I t ’s 2014

and we’ve come a long way baby. Equal sex marriage is a reality in the UK; we can now legally ball-and-chain ourselves to our partners trapping ourselves in the prison of committed relationships before the eyes of the law. Gulp! Now that (in the mainland UK at least) the battle for same sex unions is won, are we sure we’ve thought this through? Maybe we’ve fought so hard for equality that we’ve dug ourselves into a hetero-normative ditch. Do we truly want to be monogamous or could open relationships be the next evolutionary step for same sex couples? It’s not a matter of exclusivity being better/worse than non-exclusivity, but it’s time to open up and consider the idea that fidelity might not be the holy grail of committed relationships. There’s been a rise in the visibility of non-monogamy in recent years, with some people questioning whether monogamy over a long period of time is even ‘natural’. You might be familiar with acclaimed sex advice columnist Dan Savage, who has said smart stuff like “The mistake straight people made, was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous.” Savage is not down with promiscuity though, he coined the term ‘monogamish’ (relationships that don’t quite conform to the rigid idea of monogamy) and is all about family values, whilst being a total realist when it comes to fulfilling our needs sexually – so he’s a bit of a contradiction. All in all he makes some good points and even without looking at statistics (USA Today report that 59% of gay couples in their last study cheated on their partners – down from 89%) That’s an avalanche of relationships that end because of infidelity. What happens if we stop calling it cheating and rewrite the relationship rules to accommodate infidelity. Why let it shut down an otherwise good relationship? In the future people might be more receptive to open-relationships, but the stigma isn’t really surprising, given that we’re taught from a very early age that we should be with one person, and that cheating is bad. The best thing to do is start talking to some real life boys about what kind of relationships they’re having, what’s working for them and more importantly, what’s not! I talk to Darren about the long-term open relationship he was in. I wanted to find out what made it work for so long and whether the open doors were the thing that ended it. Darren’s an artist and his ex is a DJ. He’d said to his thenboyfriend that he was cool with him doing whatever he wanted when he was abroad DJing because he liked to cruise and it was going to happen. They’d been together 12 years but officially in an open relationship for eight of those, though Darren says “I think he was in an open relationship for 12 years.” This is not a great start. There must have been something about being in an open relationship that worked if it lasted so long? “I’d say 99% of open relationships are a lie,” he says. “You can’t die for someone and find time to chase someone else. When you stay late at a party to bone someone do you think your boyfriend is loving the ‘me time’?” Were there regular hook-ups or just one-offs? “I did have one friend that it kind of worked with because we were clear that it was sex only. Also with gay people I’d say saunas or cruising can work because there is zero emotion there.” Those activities can still involve addictive behaviour though, and bring the risk of STDs home. “The other way it can work which isn’t really open, is having orgies with your partner,” advises Darren. “Although don’t be a total

slut bag and make sure you wake up next to your boyfriend.” Did they set rules? “BE FUCKING AVAILABLE FOR SEX. That is the first rule. If you have enough ‘go’ for playing away, you better fucking give out at home, or you’re going to fuck your partner’s self esteem up; ask yourself ‘can I seriously fuck two or three times a day every day?’ Take note -stamina is important!” Emotionally though, things take a toll. “Eventually I felt pretty unattractive because he was looking for sex somewhere else,” says Darren. “To be honest if your other half wants an open relationship it means they don’t like you. There’s something they’re not getting at home. One of my oldest friends tried an open relationship with his girl. He said they had great jealousy sex for a while but then he realised he wanted to be single. And it was her idea!” Ouch. “Relationships are defined by being one on one. Only one person can be the most important person in your life by definition. When you’re saying ‘I love you’ and you don’t want to put a ring on it, that’s a lie. Lying is the opposite of love really.” This is the car crash version of open relationships. There surely had to be a better example than this! I speak to Mark, who I already knew might not be the best example, but hey, in for a penny in for a pound. Mark had also just ended an open relationship (seeing a pattern here). In the interest of full disclosure Mark and his ex were also escorting at the time and doing some porn work so the extracurricular infidelities were sometimes professional ones with personal consequences. I ask if he thinks that monogamy might’ve saved it. “Open or monogamous it wouldn’t have made a difference,” he says, “If my partner had the same honesty towards me that I gave him then we probably would have lasted longer.” It wasn’t the infidelity what done it, it was the lack of honesty!

‘We grew up being told that we have to work hard if we want something – the same applies to a relationship’ Joseph

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I ask Mark if he still believes open relationships can work, he says it requires a lot of communication and honesty. “There was always some form of guilt involved,” he said. “Understanding that if you want to do something then you can’t judge your partner for doing the same is big.” I sense that maybe double standards were at play and that didn’t really happen. “We had different styles of hooking up. His were prearranged, always looking, and I was more spontaneous. I had little free time so whenever I wanted to hook up he saw it as me choosing someone else over him so he’d spin off in a rage about it like the time we had a screaming match in London Fields. Total double standards.” Sounds jealous and destructive to me, I tell him. “You have to switch off certain feelings and not think about your other half.” So you’re talking about separating sexual desires from your feelings as a couple? “It’s a more practical arrangement, sex is just sex, what you have with a partner is love.” Human sexuality is a wild beast, it seems mad to expect that one other person could satisfy all your sexual desires over a long period of time.

sexploits do to keep their relationships healthy? “It’s not just being open around their sexual behaviours but transparent across everything,” She says. “It’s important to know what the boundaries are, they actually make things safer. You have to be able to talk about and set those boundaries around what is acceptable to both people and that is true not only in open relationships but any relationship. It’s when a boundary gets crossed or worse, violated, that’s when a relationship finds itself in bother.” So really we’re just like dogs then; we want structure in our relationships so we aren’t confused and know how to behave. The boys into puppy play will feel truly vindicated now.

when a boundary gets crossed or worse violated that’s when a relationship finds itself in bother.’ Denise Knowles, counsellor at Relate

The pattern seems to be that if you’ve got problems then opening up to outside influences really isn’t much of a solution (well unless the problem is that you both want to respectably slut around whilst staying together – then it’s your perfect solution!) Denise Knowles is a counsellor at Relate. “Sometimes people imagine that it might be a way of resolving problems,” she says. “‘If only I could go off and have sex with someone then everything in our relationship would be okay.’ It might be putting a sticky plaster on something but not resolving any of the fundamental underlying difficulties. If anything if might create more.” I ask whether she encounters many same sex couples in open relationships through her work, “I don’t want to be stereotypical in this but I think often certainly there’s an idea that same sex couples are freer around their sexual activities than perhaps heterosexual couples are. But from my own experience working with same sex couples those have been monogamous more than anything.” What can couples that want to partake in extracurricular

‘BE FUCKING AVAILABLE FOR SEX.

That is the first rule. If you have enough go for playing away, you better fucking give out at home, or you’re gonna fuck your partner’s self esteem up’

I get the impression that the professionals are saying it’s rarer than unicorn shit to find a ‘functioning’, ‘successful’ (I am loathed to use those words but for want of better ones stick with me) open relationship. It’s at this point in doing my homework that I realise I may not be 100% unbiased in this debate. I’m basically desperate to present an enviable open relationship. So third time lucky I meet Patrick for coffee and hope for the best. “We’re not open, but open minded” he says. “We play with others together and sometimes apart, but we’re honest with each other. The main reason that we give freedom is because we both travel, and have different likes that should be explored. We share pictures and videos.” For that to work you must have some firm rules that work for you? “We always play safe and a fuck buddy is that – never a mate,” he says. “We are very private and respectful of each other’s feelings. Our gay friends that know love it.” Too right. Who wants to be friends with a bunch of judgementalists! “I find that people are still judgmental when we say that we do not want to get married, have kids etc.” I wonder about the guys that Patrick and Thomas play with – they have feelings too, right? “We had a guy a few years ago who fell in love with us.” That’s awkward. “I once played with a guy here whilst Thomas was in New York watching on webcam, the guy got upset when he heard me say that he was ‘just a shag’, but a guy we play with in NYC loves when we call him the whore!” What do you think your relationship has gotten out of it? “The first six years together, maybe more, we were only us,” he says. But can 100% monogamy ever really work? I’m starting to think it might be a case of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, trying to fit into hetero-normative ideals rather than creating new ones that maybe inspire out-of-the-box thinking. “It’s been good for Thomas’ confidence and it makes me so horny seeing him with another guy. I do not get jealous! I do get jealous if I feel like he is hiding something from me or wants to play with another without me even if I am in town, but, I’ve gotten over that!” And from Thomas’ perspective? “He and I just work on every level. At first he struggled when I was with another, but now seems to love it.” Now I’m jealous, it all sounds too good to be true! I want to say case closed, there you have it, conclusive proof that same sex couples

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have made socially-acceptable slutting work. Truly we can have our cakes and eat him. But I know that’s not fair. I need to make another call, this time to my friend Joseph to talk about his admittedly enviable long term monogamous relationship. Joseph and James have been together five years this December, they’ve been engaged for over a year and they’re getting married next summer. They explicitly discuss being monogamous. “We have discussed monogamy as a topic of conversation rather than a possible factor in our relationship,” says Joseph. “We are quite traditional in our views and were keen to just be in a relationship with each other rather than a ‘gay’ relationship with some of the clauses that seem to tag onto it. I don’t understand open relationships. I would never judge anyone for being in one. Relationships are as individual as the people in them and what works for one couple may not work for another. If I was to be frank though, I would say it’s a dumb route to go down. Most people are on the hunt for ‘the one’ not ‘the one plus that random guy with the abs and donkey cock from Grindr. They don’t say three’s a crowd for nothing.” Does he think that in five or ten years, if they’re still together that he might feel differently about opening his relationship up? “No. We grew up being told that we have to work hard if we want something – the same applies to a relationship. It isn’t meant to be easy, it isn’t always going to be fun, it isn’t always going to be like it was at the start – it gets repetitive, at times boring and sometimes you want your partner to just shut the eff up. That doesn’t mean welcoming another person into your bed is the solution or the only method of injecting any spice back into your relationship. If I ever get fed up or disinterested I think about what it was that made me go on that first date with him, why I had to fight the urge (unsuccessfully) to go back to his on the first night, what made me love him and how I couldn’t manage without him.” Do they fantasise about other people? “We are both comfortable acknowledging another person’s physical attributes. If someone is fit, they’re fit and there’s nothing wrong with appreciating that. Watching porn doesn’t count right? I fell in love with a man that I find physically attractive and who I have an insane amount of respect and love for. I don’t see being faithful to him as a compromise. I am his boyfriend and I want to be faithful to him.”

‘MOST PEOPLE ARE ON THE HUNT FOR ‘THE ONE’ NOT ‘THE ONE PLUS THAT RANDOM GUY WITH THE ABS AND DONKEY COCK FROM GRINDR. THEY DON’T SAY THREE’S A CROWD FOR NOTHING’

opinion on the subject way more than any academic theorist since not only does she write about sex for a living, but she’s been in both monogamous and open relationships. “It’s a stereotype that men, and gay men in particular, are less jealous when it comes to sex and relationships, and are better at having sex that’s strictly physical, and not complicated by emotions,” she says. “Of course that’s a generalisation, but we all know stereotypes are rooted in truth, so it makes sense that gay men might stand a better chance at making an open relationship work than other types of couples.” That’s a positive perspective I’d not heard yet. I knew that Karley would have words of wisdom. How about your first-hand experience of open relationships? “I was in an open relationship with my girlfriend for a year. At the beginning it was great, I had a loving partner to make dinner and have feelings-y sex with, but I was still allowed the satisfaction of having hot, spontaneous sex with random dudes I met on the subway.” Did that situation have an expiry date then? “Over time, as she and I fell deeper in love, we began feeling more possessive, which caused arguments and insecurities. After a year we became monogamous because we personally felt like sleeping with other people was disrupting the emotional narrative of our relationship, and causing insecurities and arguments that were jeopardising our partnership. Of course, I’m human and still want to sleep with other people sometimes, but ultimately I had to make a choice about what I valued more: sexual variety or a continued relationship with the person I’m in love with.” It’s definitely not easy to make an open relationship work, because there’s a lot working against you, namely jealousy, possession, and a heavy social stigma. But we can’t lie to ourselves: monogamous relationships are also difficult and complicated in their own ways. Open-relationships can work. There are many couples who are in happy, long open marriages, but they are not right for everyone. The truth is everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want in life as long as it doesn’t stop anybody else doing the same. Open or closed – you might one day wake up and find that the type of relationship you thought was for you, isn’t right at all; as John Waters once said “Don’t judge, try something new, take a risk.”

‘I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE ABOUT WHAT I VALUED MORE: SEXUAL VARIETY, OR A CONTINUED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PERSON I’M IN LOVE WITH’ KARLEY SCIORTINO

It’s becoming clear that just like sexuality itself, there’s a relationship spectrum and you need to figure out where your relationship sits on it, whether your monogamous or monogamish; open or off the rails. As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes everyone’s got one and to be honest we should all stop worrying about what other people think is okay for our relationships and focus on figuring out what works for us. The last person we speak to is New York based sexpert Karley Sciortino, writer and author of the slutever.com blog. I value her

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the rules No open relationship can work without ground rules. Here’s some to get you started. It all sounds really complicated... just remember you’re supposed to be having fun! KISS AND NOT TELL

Are you going to be the kind of couple that don’task-don’t-tell or are you going to get off on hearing about each other’s escapades? Some people are happy for their other half to go play but don’t need to hear about the ins and outs, others might want to beat their meat while their other half dishes all the dirty details, jealously is a mad aphrodisiac.

SAFE AND SOUND

This probably comes under dos and donts but needs some special attention. Everyone’s relationship situation and status is different. If you’re playing together without protection and comfortable with that, are you still going to when you’re both hooking up with other people? Opening your relationship up to encounters with other boys also opens it to other risks like STDs and let’s face it, no one wants a screaming match at 3am about who gave who gonorrhoea.

GOOGLE CALENDAR

Depending on how much hooking up you’re planning on doing, to avoid double booking yourself it might be a good idea to set up a calendar so you can figure set times and dates for when it’s okay to play. Maybe it’s a compulsory to disclose dates in advance.

DOs and DON’Ts

Figure out where you’re drawing the line with which extracurricular activities you’re allowed to do. Maybe kissing is a no-go, maybe you agree to approve each other’s booty calls. Writing in a veto clause if you’re not down with who your man wants to go down on could be an idea. Talk it out, set agreed boundaries and don’t cross them!

ONE NIGHT ONLY

Forming emotional attachments with playmates is basically the enemy. You could enforce a no second dates rule. That said, regular friends with benefits might be preferable if you want to feel safer about who you’re playing with. You might want to set curfews and/or write in a no sleepovers clause too. Surely no one wants their other half grabbing brunch the morning after with some other guy.

NOT APP-LICABLE

Are you happy to both be sat on the sofa in front of The X Factor whilst on Grindr looking for potential fun times? Set rules on whether it’s cool to use Apps and when you can use them. Alternatively maybe it’s okay to hook-up as and when it presents itself. You don’t want to be actively looking for it, especially not when you’re supposed to be hanging tough together as a couple.

TIME OUT

relate.org.uk slutever.com

Last but by no way least, if either of you are feeling uncomfortable and want to call it time on spreading the love around then you should both respect each other’s limits – open doesn’t have to be a permanent status on your relationship so make sure it’s cool to call time out on playing away.

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from left: Natt wears jacket by Diesel, jeans by River Island, trainers Natt’s own; briefs by Emporio Armani at Bang+Strik; jumper by HUGO, briefs as before

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NATT weller_ATTITUDE

the changing man

the easy-on-the-eye offspring of musical legends who doesn’t hang off his parents’ fame, meet natt weller

Words: Christian Guiltenane / Photography: Joseph Sinclair / grooming: marcos gurgel

A

s history has often shown, the lives of rock star kids are rarely pretty. If they’re not posing for police mug shots after being nabbed for some drug-fuelled misdemeanour, they’re rebelling their way through life to prove that they can outshine their more famous parents. But the young chap who joins Attitude at our studio in London appears to be an exception to the rule. Or is he? Tall, lean and androgynous, this rock offspring is the definition of charm. He is softly-spoken, refreshingly polite and incredibly insightful. Any clues as to who this fine looking fellow is? Look closely at his chiselled, elegant features and see if you can figure out the identities of his rock star parents. No? Well if we said his name was Weller, Natt Weller, the game is pretty much given away. Yes, this model-turnedsinger is son of craggy Modfather and former lead singer of The Jam and The Style Council, Paul Weller. And his mother? Dee C Lee, original writer and singer of Girls Aloud track See The Day and early Wham! backing singer alongside Shirlie Holliman At 26, Natt is a regular on London’s party scene, but unlike the likes of some

rockers’ offspring, he doesn’t live off the name of his famous parents. Natt is all about living his own life. He has his own career (he’s a big pop star in Japan), makes his own money and has a healthy dislike for kids who have a silver spoon wedged in their gobs. More excitingly for us as Attitude, Natt has an eye not just for the ladies, but for the boys too! Result. Here, in his first major interview, Natt reveals how his rock star father came to terms with his open sexuality and why he can’t abide spoilt rich kids! You’re the offspring of rock royalty, but you’re the first to say that some celebrities kids are monstrous. Some are total dicks. Not all of them, but some of them are just awful. And no, I wont give you names. I guess it’s to do with what kind of upbringing they’ve had. If I’m really honest, celeb kids aren’t half as bad the ones who come from super rich families who have been born into money. I have seen a lot of spoilt rich kids who buy cars and stuff on their parents’ credit cards. That ostentatiousness and vulgarity leaves a really nasty feeling in my stomach. They live in a bubble where they think they can throw money at anything to solve a problem. Rock star

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From left: Natt wears briefs by Emporio Armani at Bang+Strike; jumper by HUGO, briefs as before

kids are different, and are usually from families who were originally working class so they have a grasp on what real life is like. I just couldn’t live that vacuous life. There’s only so many times you can go shopping and buy clothes and eat. You could do it for a week, but the novelty would wear off. Does growing up in a rock star world put you in a bubble far removed from real life? In the rock world, drugs are present and prevalent. It’s an industry where drugs are kind of accepted. That said, it was more prevalent when I started modelling. There were a lot more drugs in the fashion world, and there are some people who can use those things recreationally and then there are some who need help. How do I feel about drugs now? Of course when I was in my teens I did my fair share of things, like drugs and drinking and partying, but never to the point of rehab. There are sad cases. I can’t personally relate to people like Lindsay Lohan or someone like that. I think it depends on the person. I never developed a problem. I think the problem is that kids in the entertainment industry are often around people who can get that stuff and turn a blind eye. If you’re making people money then there are people who’ll enable you to get that stuff. When your dad was massively famous he had a tough time with alcohol, how did you deal with the press? It was intrusive. Growing up in the 90s when dad was at his peak they’d get shots of him drunk in

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NATT weller_ATTITUDE the street which wasn’t nice, because people at school would see it and say stuff to me. It was worse when it was made up shit or when someone at school would say something about a story I hadn’t read. It was pretty hard for a young boy to deal with. The press can be tough. The saddest thing about Britney was when she was seen crying outside on the street and the paps just carried on taking pictures of her and recording her breakdown. Yes, I know it’s a business, but these people have to remember she’s still a human being. And we’re seeing it again with the whole Amanda Bynes situation. It’s like watching a countdown to her meltdown. It’s inhumane. I don’t understand the fascination of that. But then there are some young stars like your friend Kelly Osbourne, who seems to deal with life pretty well. She gets a hard time being the daughter of Ozzy and Sharon, but she works so hard. When I go to Los Angeles I always try to see her but she is constantly working. She’s a great role model to women. She makes her own money. Most celebrity kids do work. whether it’s modelling or TV shows or music So Natt, you’re the son of one of the

UK’s blokiest rock stars and you like girls AND boys! I basically like who I like. But it happened late. When I was around 17, I was going through this ‘emo’ stage and was going out to clubs and loved the gothic scene. Up to that point I’d only had girlfriends. But it was then that I started to find boys attractive and thought ‘oh wow, these guys are prettier than my girlfriend.’ God, she’s going to kill me for that! Since then I have had a couple of boyfriends and a couple of girlfriends. Having the choice of boys and girls, is it easier to come out to your family? Well, it was awkward sneaking people out in the morning, that’s for sure! With my mum, it was easier for her to deal with because she had grown up with the likes of George Michael and Marilyn. I mean she was in fucking Wham! for God’s sake! So I didn’t really have to come out to mum. I just said to her that I am dating a boy and she didn’t seem to mind. And how was your dad? Was it harder? It was only when I had more of a public profile, that it got difficult because my dad’s schtick is that working class hero thing. The media see him as this alpha male character, even though The Style Council was pretty homoerotic. It was kind of daunting to broach it with him. But there was nothing to really worry about because I knew that he is always pretty accepting of people. I remember as a kid he would say “People are people no matter what they are, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone.” It was the public perception of him that was more daunting. So how did you tell him? When I had boyfriends, I would be with them all the time, so it became pretty obvious that these guys were more than friends. Dad just put two and two together. We never actually sat down and said the words. Of course since then we have spoken about it and he’s got no problems with it at all. I guess I am lucky as I know for most people coming out can be a difficult time, and some parents can be quite unaccepting. Having famous parents, were you always keen to find your own identity? Being a rock star’s kid was never something I felt comfortable with. There are some people that are but I wasn’t one of them. I never wanted to be known as Paul Weller’s son. So the Manga look I adopted a few years ago was probably some kind of rebellion

to look different from dad. At the time I didn’t feel like I was being rebellious. How did that look go down with your mates at school? I was into Green Day and was wearing eyeliner. It got attention and I kind of liked it. I didn’t care about what the other kids thought but the teachers would make me wash it off. It’s funny how schools stop kids from developing their own individuality; that doesn’t set you up for real life. My heroes at the time were Mötley Crue and Marilyn Manson. They’re the sort of artists – when you have self-doubt and the kids are saying why are you fucking wearing make up – who help you feel better about yourself. Your parents split rather acrimoniously, didn’t they? I was around six. I remember certain aspects of that time. It was a pretty low point. Both my mum and dad were reasonably absent around that period. Me and my sister Leah were mostly being left with a ‘live-in nanny’ who was pretty abusive and vile towards me. However my grandparents were amazing – we spent a lot of time with them while this was all going on. I think those things are hard for any kid growing up. I suppose for me, certain details and aspects were brought to my attention and amplified by the media but my grandparents were really great at sheltering us as much a possible from it. Like your dad, you’re carving out a career as a singer… I guess it was inevitable. I grew up around music and seeing my dad’s live shows and going on tour with him – I was sure it would filter into my psyche. I also like performing. I like that you can be two people. The real you and the one who’s up there on stage. I was signed to a label in Japan, recorded an album and released it in June. I am now working on the second. You seem pretty determined to achieve lots. A big difference to people in the public eye who are famous for not very much. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting to achieve stuff. If something doesn’t work, you move on and try something else. I have had a few different deals and situations that fell through. That’s always part of the process. Its about learning to deal with knocks and rejection. Young people get a bad rap for being over-zealous or over-ambitious. Reality stars shouldn’t be role models. I hate the word celebrity. It means nothing. I’d like to try acting, so I might try that in L.A. – it’s a great place to be. The weather is always good and it’s a great place for castings. I don’t think I could live their full time. I like Japan and London too much.

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26/11/2014 10:56

Attitude.co.uk/Style • @Attitudestyle

FLEX IT OUT Replay is getting physical with their latest Hyperflex collection. With a focus on ‘stretching your limits’ the brand are looking at getting you moving in your jeans with 100 percent elasticity – no sagging or misshaping after wear (everyone’s fashion nemesis). With skinny or slim fit in three different washes, you can jump, tumble and stretch to your heart’s content. Replay have even got FC Barcelona footballer Neymar Jr and fellow teammate and arm-candy to Shakira, Gerard Piqué to jump around in them and show you their mettle. replay.it PHOTOGRAPHY: SIMON J TAYLOR / FASHION AND WORDS: JOSEPH KOCHARIAN / GROOMING: NIBRAS USING BARE MINERALS AND OJON / MODEL: LUKAS C/O NEVS MODELS / STYLING ASSISTANT: NICK BYAM

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Ryan wears coat, £2290; arm pieces (worn as socks); £190, shoes, £440; all by Lanvin. Location: Getty Villa, L.A

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The b e tt e r you look, the more you see When going for bold simple colour, it’s the detail that makes your outfit

Photography: Leonardo Corredor Fashion: Joseph Kocharian

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Silvester wears jacket by Agnés B, £345

Ryan wears cap by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, €190; jacket stylist’s own.

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Silvester wears top by Topman, £20; shorts by American Apparel, £54; socks by Sockshop, £10; trainers by Y-3, £275. Location: Beverley Hills, L.A

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S ilvester wears knitwear by To p man Design, £85; b rief s by Han ro, £ 17.50

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Experiment with one simple bold colour in different textures Ryan wears knitwear by Whistles, £2 35

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S ilvester wears petrol r o ll n eck, £2 2 ; burgundy tro u sers , £30; black boots, £ 50 an d teal coat (worn over sh ou lder), £80 all by Bu rton . L ocation: W Holly wo od Hotel, L .A

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Frankie wears jeans by Citizens of Humanity, £229; white t-shirt (worn around the neck) by New Look, £9.99; trainers by Puma, £60. Chris wears jeans by Replay, £140. Satoshi wears jeans by River Island, £25. Clark wears jeans by Replay, £140; shoes by United Nude, £175 and t-shirt (worn over the shoulder) by Gap, £8.95 Location: Angel City Brewery, Downtown L.A.

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Ryan wears co at by Reiss , £2 95; trousers by Marks & Spen cer Best of B ritish , £9 9. L ocation: G etty Garden s, L .A

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Rya n we a r s ja cke t by Hu nt e r Gat h e r, £4 5 0 ; p ol o sh i r t by S u n sp e l , £8 0 ; t sh i r t , £2 2 a n d sh o rt s, £5 4 b ot h by A me r i c a n Ap p a r e l . L o c at i on : T h e Page Mu e s e u m , L . A

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Rya n we a rs po l o t o p, € 45 0 ; f i sh n e t t o p, €4 500; t rou s e r s , € 1 2 0 0 ; t ra i n e rs , € 695; c ap, € 190 a l l by Give n chy by R i c c a r do Ti s c i . L o c at i o n : T h e Page Mu s e u m , L . A

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Ryan wears co at by L a nv in , £2 2 9 0. L ocatio n : G etty Villa, L .A

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Leather, shine, neoprene and treated denim can all make an outfit. It’s a subtle way to add interest to your look

S ilvester wears trousers by Dies el Black Gold, £450. L o cation : B everley Hills, L .A

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Rya n we a rs t o p by Top m a n , £2 8; boxe r sh o rt s by Sun sp e l , £2 8; s o cks by s o cksh op, £8 ; t ra i n e rs by Ad i d a s by Ri ck Owe n s , £440. L o c at i o n : LAC MA, L . A

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Chris wears shirt, £150 and jeans, £170 by Replay; sleeveless shirt by La Perla, £425 Location: Angel City Brewery, Downtown L.A.

Si lve st e r we a r s sh i r t by Ma rks a n d Sp e n c e r B e st O f B rit i sh C o l l e c t i on , £99; r ol l n e ck by M &S Col l e c t i on , £2 5

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S ilvester wears Jogging b o ttoms , £550; trainers, £2 6 5 an d cap £50 all by Y-3. L ocatio n : L ily Pond in B everley Garde ns Park, L .A

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Fully matching from head to toe is allowed, layer up similar shades for full effect. S ilvester wears shirt by Topman , £2 0; jogging b otto ms by American Apparel, £32 ; L ocation: W Ho lly woo d Hotel, L .A

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S ilvester wears polo by M&S Co llection, £ 15; vest by Th e Wh ite Briefs at Match es f ash io n, £65; shorts by A merican Apparel, £54; s ocks by s o ckshop, £8; shoes by A llS aints , £ 118. L ocation: B everley Hills, L .A

fash i o n A ss i sta n t

Nick Byam M o d e ls

Ryan Bertroche & Silvester Ruck both at D.T Model Management S p e c i al tha n k s

Michael, Kelsey, Andrea and Jane at LOS ANGELES TOURISM & CONVENTION BOARD & Riva PR discoverlosangeles.com

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Ryan wears coat by Reis s , £2 95; t rousers by Marks & Spencer Best of B ritish , £9 9. L ocation: Getty Garden s, L .A

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Silvester wears petrol roll neck, £22 and teal coat, £80 both by Burton

Silvester wears Jacket by Agnes B, £345; burgundy trousers by Burton, £30

stockists

Addicted at Bang+Strike bangandstrike.com Adidas adidas.co.uk Adidas by Rick Owens adidas.co.uk Agnes B agnesb.com AllSaints allsaints.com American Apparel Americanapparel.co.uk Aussiebum aussiebum.com Burton burton.co.uk David Gandy for Autograph marksandspencer.com Diesel Black Gold dieselblackgold.com Emporio Armani at Bang+Strike bangandstrike.com Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci givenchy.com Hanro hanro.co.uk HUGO hugoboss.com HOM at figleaves figleaves.com HOM hom.com HunterGather huntergather.com Lanvin lanvin.com Lonsdale Lonsdale.com M&S Collection marksandspencer.com Marks and Spencer Best Of British marksandspencer.com Porsche Design Sport adidas.co.uk Reiss reiss.com Replay replay.it Rufskin rufksin.com Slazenger at Sports Direct sportsdirect.com Sockshop sockshop.co.uk Speedo speedo.com Sunspel sunspel.com The White Breifs at Matches Fashion matchesfashion.com Topman Design topman.com Topman topman.com WearMeUnder wearmeunder.com Whistles whistles.com Y-3 y-3.com W Hollywood Hotel whollywoodhotel.com Visitors can find the chic boutique W Hollywood Hotel at the intersection of Hollywood and Vine, under the shadow of the iconic Hollywood sign and the Hollywood Walk of Fame located outside the front door. W Hollywood brings glamour and excitement back to the neighborhood that invented celebrity. Getty Center getty.edu The Getty Center is home to the J. Paul Getty Museum, the Getty Research Institute, the Getty Conservation Institute, and the Getty Foundation. Together, these programs have conducted and funded research,

iPad and Tablet Versions feature more exclusive photos & Video content

conservation, and education programs locally, nationally, and internationally. Since opening its doors in 1997, the Getty Center has welcomed over 20 million visitors and become a cultural destination that has played a key role in helping Los Angeles become an important leader in the arts. Getty Villa www.getty.edu The Getty Villa offers an incomparable setting for the study and enjoyment of the arts and cultures of ancient Greece, Rome, and Etruria. The villa weaves together art, performances, family activities, lectures, theatre, scholarship, conservation and other activities to create an integrated educational and cultural experience for all ages, serving as a gateway to the classical

past for students, scholars, specialised professionals, and general audiences. Page Museum at the La Brea Tar Pits tarpits.org Located in the heart of metropolitan Los Angeles, the Page Museum at the La Brea Tar Pits represents one of the world’s most famous fossil localities, and the only active urban paleontological excavation site in the United States. This onsite Museum displays Ice Age fossils, including sabertoothed cats, dire wolves and mammoths, from 10,000 to 40,000-year-old asphalt deposits. Visitors can see the processes of paleontology unfold, from current outdoor excavations, to scientists and volunteers preparing fossils in the Fossil Lab.

Los Angeles County Arts Museum lacma.org Urban Light © Chris Burden Beverly Hills Conference & Visitors Bureau lovebeverlyhills.com Centrally located in greater Los Angeles, Beverly Hills is a premier travel destination, boasting beautiful weather year-round, acclaimed boutique hotels, sumptuous dining and incomparable shopping. Synonymous with Hollywood glamour, Beverly Hills enjoys an international reputation as the home of A-list movie stars. The city is not only known worldwide for its grand mansions, but also for its multitude of art and architecture, spas and salons, and exceptional walkability.

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“Perhaps the most important development for a British watch brand for 50 years” C H R I S W A R D

Few watch brands create their own movement and of those that do, only a handful add something really original and important to the world of watchmaking. Our in-house, Calibre SH21, which powers the C9 Harrison 5 Day Automatic is one such movement. The C9 Harrison is destined to be one of the most talked about watches in years. CAL IBRE SH2 1

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FEATURE | ATTITUDE

most stylish reader In September we ran a competition for Attitude’s Most Stylish reader in association with The Idle Man. After being flooded with entries of well dressed gentlemen, we whittled it down to 25-year-old Myles Brown from Derby. He won £500 to spend on The Idle Man website and a photoshoot in the magazine! So we got to work and raided the online wardrobe that is theidleman.com, getting a tad distracted by the on-point christmas gift guides on the site and got chatting to Myles after his shoot.

So what do you do Myles? I’m a dancer. I do loads of different styles, commercial mainly, for artists. I’ve worked with Katy Perry, One Direction and most recently, Robbie Williams Talk us through the outfit you chose for our Most Stylish Reader competition? I got the jacket when I was on the hunt for a suede jacket, but they didn’t have it in my size, so I went to their sale rack and found this faux suede one, and it was a lot cheaper which was great, and then I just paired it with a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Have you spent your winnings on The Idle Man website yet? Yeah I have! My favourite piece that I got it my lovely new winter coat. It’s a threequarter-length trench and it’s lovely. It

was one of the pieces I wanted when I first entered the contest, along with a tracksuit I also managed to get! How would you describe your style? It’s quite simple. I don’t like clashing too much; I like block colours. I wear a lot of neutral and a lot of black, but at night time when I’m going out I tend to go a bit more out there – a bit more floral and disco, with sequins! If i’m going on a big night out I’ll come up with a big outfit What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever worn? A women’s jacket with a tropical print with parrots all over it and shoulder pads in it! I wore it with a white shirt, a gold chain and some smart trousers. • Look out for Myles’ full interview online.

Fashion and words; Joseph Kocharian / Photography: Simon J Taylor / Grooming: Sandra Hadi / All clothes from idleman.com AT T I T U D E | 115

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26/11/2014 14:31

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25/11/2014 17:05

EXERCISE NUTRITION SPORTS ADVICE

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hoops and dreams PG.120

OPINION DATING  REAL LIFE  PROPERTY  RELATIONSHIPS  TRAVEL  GOING OUT 

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>>>>>> ATTITUDE / ACTIVE THE CLINIC

THE CLINIC

& Our health expert Dr Christian Jessen answers your medical queries

with Dr Christian

Got a problem, want answers? • Email [email protected]

My boyfriend and I have a good sex life, but sometimes he struggles to retain an erection. I thought only older people had problems like this, is it my fault? Greg, Birmingham All men at some stage in their lives will have problems either getting or maintaining an erection. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by a number of factors, so pinpointing the exact cause can be complex to work out. For many younger men the reason may well be psychological. In his desire to try and keep you happy, you partner could simply be experiencing performance anxiety, which then affects his ability to perform. His mood and state of mind during sex could be having a huge effect on him sustaining an erection. If you’ve not yet broached the subject with him I suggest that next time it happens you talk about the issue. By being understanding and reassuring whilst discussing the matter, you may help to calm his anxiety. You may also wish to look at other ways of having sex that may help him relax a little bit more. If it continues to be a problem, he can always have a chat with his GP. I’ve recently had several panic attacks at work. How can I prevent them from happening? Grant, Edinburgh Panic attacks can be a particularly unpleasant experience. Those who experience these often have an uncontrollable feeling of impending doom, which can be very nasty indeed. I think you need to ask yourself whether there is a definite cause for these happening or do they just arise out of the blue? If

Didn’t know? Generalized Anxiety Disorder

GAD is more than just an isolated feeling of anxiousness; it is a long-term condition that causes frequent anxiety about a wide range of different matters. Sufferers often feel restless or worried and may have trouble concentrating or sleeping. Psychological therapies and medications are available if the problem is severe.

you’ve been caught in an unpleasant situation, then having a panic attack could be understandable. If, however, they seem to stem from the slightest of triggers or just simply out of nowhere, you may be experiencing generalised anxiety disorder. Book in an appointment with your GP to discuss. Treatments are available, and it’s probably best that you start treatment sooner rather than later to prevent the problem from escalating. I regularly go to the gym with a friend, but the other day I found steroids in his gym bag. I’m worried he’s endangering himself by taking them, is he at risk? Billy, Hastings The appeal of steroids to gym-goers is increased muscle mass gained from their use compared to working out naturally. Under correct medical supervision, steroids can be effective in creating huge weight gains. However, the side effects of steroids can be considerable and include bad acne, water retention and liver problems. The main problem faced with most steroids is that they are usually bought online where the quality and quantity of drug within the product itself are often unknown. It’s also worth considering the way in which he is administrating the injections. Injecting substances into the body incorrectly can cause severe problems. I have seen many patients who have required surgery to fix terrible abscesses caused by inaccurate injection.

D r Ch r i s t i an i s o n t w i t te r :

the

probe NARCOLEPSY Narcolepsy is a very rare brain disorder which causes people to drop off to sleep quite suddenly, unexpectedly and often at quite inappropriate times. It’s caused by an underlying problem with the brain’s ability to regulate sleep and waking patterns normally. The classic characterisation of narcolepsy is falling to sleep very suddenly, but it can also cause unexpected loss of muscle control and, frighteningly, paralysis during regular sleep. There are no serious long-term health implications to narcolepsy, but it can obviously cause accidents when it is triggered. It is a very rare condition, but if you think you may have it your GP can refer you to a neurologist or sleep specialist who can diagnose it accurately. There is unfortunately no cure for narcolepsy, but making changes to your sleeping habits and taking certain medications can help you manage the symptoms better.

@doctorchristian

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24/11/2014 13:16

HIV

H IV D I A R I ES

attitude / ACTIVE>>>>>>

Simon Watney, 65, living with HIV since 1997

Gay youth’s lack of knowledge about HIV is increasingly banishing ‘the epidemic’ from audibility The Beatles’ When I’m 64 was released in 1967 when I was 18, and to this day I’ve never much cared for it. The note of relentless jollity is all the more tiresome now that I am myself 65, but back in my teens I certainly could not get my head around the idea of ever reaching such an age. A year later I had a brief but important fling with a charming American called Nick who was all of 26 and seemed impossibly older than me. By contrast I still have a dearly loved relative of 99 who regards me as something of a spring chicken. I recount all this simply to make the point that one’s sense of time changes radically in the course of a lifetime, and that it’s completely unreasonable to expect most people under 40 to realistically imagine what it’s like to be over 60, especially in relation to matters of health. Older people also frequently need to be helped to understand the experience and world-view of those half our age and younger. I’m well aware that other people’s aches and pains are generally about as fascinating as their holiday photographs, but in this context I am mindful of the way in which – like most older people – I have gradually got used to slowly worsening levels of routine pain and physical discomfort in ways I never imagined when I was young. There are also gains and benefits, but that’s another story. When it comes to HIV it is worth noting that ten percent of newly diagnosed cases are amongst men over 50, who may be at risk of infection in ways related to their age. Frequently, the old are no less emotionally vulnerable than the young, though for different reasons. The close association between masculinity and competitiveness may have unpredictable consequences as one ages, making some men more sexually aggressive and others less so. Many gay men explore and expand their sexual repertoire as we age, in a host of different and previously unimagined ways which may take us out of the comfort zones in which we previously felt self-confident. Moreover there are strong and often deeply

internalised barriers between different generations, which are complicated by the shared experience that many gay men have of bad or seriously inadequate fathering. Vanity is another issue, as the young Adonis suddenly finds he needs a hip replacement or dentures. Of course it’s usually awful when a long-term relationship comes to an end, as they do, but it’s a different kind of awfulness when you’re over 50, as opposed to 25. The stigma surrounding the whole subject of age has probably never been more acute, and besides, we have as yet so few positive role models for the confident, ‘out’, sexually active gay male pensioner. This is further complicated by the fact that so many of the

“Whilst there are now far more gay men living with HIV than ever before, fewer than ever are open about their HIV status” most confident leaders of the gay movement who would now be in their 60s or 70s died decades ago, whilst so many others succumbed to the destabilising emotional consequences of cumulative loss, whether or not they were themselves HIV+. In this respect I know I’m far from unusual in only now re-emerging after many years of shell-shocked retreat from public life and involvement on the gay scene. We live with a strange paradox, that whilst there are now far more gay men living with HIV than ever before, fewer than ever are open about their HIV status. As a result the epidemic has as it were vanished from sight and audibility, almost as if it were taking place in some parallel universe of denial and delusion. This was forcibly brought home to me very recently when I saw an expression of puzzled incomprehension on the face of a charming younger gay man to whom I’d mentioned ‘the epidemic’. “What epidemic?” he politely asked me, clearly having no idea what I was talking about.

I also well recall fighting my way to the bar at Wilton’s Music Hall last year after a harrowing performance by Marc Almond of the song cycle Ten Plagues, which is set in London at the time of the Plague of 1665, but with much wider resonances. Behind me in the general scrum were two well turned out young people, who had evidently enjoyed the show. “It makes you think, doesn’t it,” said one cheerily to the other, “about the present day.” “What do you mean?” asked his friend. “Well,” came the reply, “bird-flu.” You could have knocked me down with a feather. I repeat the anecdote only to make the point that for anyone of my generation it would be impossible to come away from Ten Plagues without thinking about AIDS, and the terrible scale of suffering and loss it caused. This is not however the experience of the young, and it seems to me important for older gay men not to forget this, or to expect everyone to somehow magically share or even understand our experience and associated emotions. On reflection I feel sure that my father’s generation must have had similar feelings in later life about their own war-time experience, of which they so rarely spoke. There is every good reason why many people don’t disclose their HIV status these days, but the ironic consequence is that this only serves to deepen the stigma surrounding the whole subject which the same people are themselves presumably trying to avoid. I’m not saying that anyone should or should not disclose their HIV status, but merely observing how weird it feels for older gay men like me to inhabit a world in which gay etiquette seemingly demands that we all pretend the epidemic never happened. This is closely connected in turn to the equally common inability to recognise that HIV remains far and away the single most glaringly important social and political issue facing our particular community, just as it has been for more than three long decades.

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>>>>>> attitude / ACTIVE Jake Lockhart

SHOOT FOR THE STARS

Jake wears t-shirt by Porsche Deign Sport; shorts by adidas; socks by Slazenger at Sportdirect.com; trainers by Porsche Design Sport

Jake L ockhart t alk s p laying b aske tb all at a comp etitive le v e l, h is s u bt le b ut striking s t yle an d carrying the g ym in h is bag

Words george williams Photography Simon Taylor Styling Nick Byam GROOMING Nibras 120

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JAKE wears shorts by Porsche Design Sport; socks by Slazenger at Sportdirect.com; trainers by Porsche Design Sport

How did you first get into basketball? It all started for me when I was five years old and I fell in love with the sport. It ended up directing me throughout all of my teenage years up until my collegiate life. I practised every single day. I was the kid who would wake up at five in the morning to train. This UPS truck would go by the school so I got an agreement with the UPS guy to take me from my house when he would usually drop off stuff. I was very dedicated to basketball and that kind of set the tone for my athletic lifestyle and the way I keep it up today. What’s your training regime like now? Is it still as intense as when you played basketball? I’ve scaled back. I played college basketball in America and it was very

full on, high intensity training every day: in the weights room for hours, on the basketball court for hours, watching video tapes. It was a fully immersive experience in athletics. Since I graduated in May I have scaled back somewhat because I found that intense working out takes a toll on your body, even at 22. Constantly trying to get stronger and improve can end up doing more damage than good. What I’ve tried to do since graduating – where I no longer require this intense workout regime in order to perform at a higher, competitive level – is bring it back to a point where I’m still active and still capable but it’s not to the degree that I’m straining my tendons and my joints. What I would suggest to a lot of people is resting. Work super hard and condense a lot into your time at the gym, but once

you leave then rest. Ice your knees and your elbows because these are areas of your body that will invariably wear out as you get older. Do you have a favourite piece of gym equipment? Resistance bands provide the exact amount of intensity that I need. The range of motion that you can get out of resistance bands is far superior to what you can get out of simple weights. They’re so portable. I can have a gym with me wherever I go. At this point in time I don’t have a gym membership and I don’t plan on getting one because all I need is my bodyweight and my resistance bands. Do you have certain styles of clothes that you wear based on your body type? For me, when it comes to fashion I like my clothes to be classic and simple. I’m

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ATTITUDE / ACTIVE