Approcci tattici

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All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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Foreword By Slade Shaw

Dear Reader, This mini-ebook has been written by my good friend Paul Rush. I don’t necessarily agree 100% with everything he has to say, but I do agree with a lot of it, and when it comes to dating and women, it’s important for you to learn from as many men who are experts with women as you can. Paul is not just a theoretical expert. I’ve seen him in action and he’s utterly amazing at attracting and seducing women. I hope you listen to what he has to say and enjoy! Your Friend,

Slade Shaw MeetYourSweet.com

All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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Tactical Teasing How to Thrill Women into Chasing You! I’m going to start off this whole Making Women Want You deal by making an assumption: that you could do with a few more dates. Or – maybe you’re getting plenty of dates, but somewhere in between the entree and the dessert they just seem to ...fizzle. But whatever. I don’t care about the finer details at this point; they’re not what’s important here. My take on you and your situation at the moment is that, on your quest to becoming a fully-fledged, qualified and card-carrying Lothario, you could maybe do with a little help along the way. Excellent! Now that we’ve got your aim in seeking advice (and my aim, in telling you about it) sorted out and above ground, we can cut the crap and get down to the real meat. I’m going to tell you how to do two things – just two, but will they ever shake up your world (and social life and sex life!) In this mini-ebook on Tactical Teasing – How to Thrill Women into Chasing You, I’m going to divulge to you some of my favorite and most closely-guarded secrets on the topic of women, which I’ve spent a lot of effort and a lot of time in acquiring – with a little help from my friends, of course (we’ve got over sixty years of combined dating experience between the five of us. That’s gotta count for something.) I didn’t used to be successful with women. I never had too much of a problem getting dates, but I was never the man that all the women wanted – I always had to do all the work, and it always felt like an uphill battle. Things rarely just clicked, or fell into place for me. It took me (and my friends) a good few years to figure out what the deal was. The thing was, we genuinely felt like we were doing everything right: we were chivalrous, we didn’t stand women up, we tried not to play games, we complimented All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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the women we were with, we paid for dinners, we didn’t interrupt them, we didn’t tell them when we thought they were in the wrong, we actively pursued them and tried to ignore their bitchy little girl-games (too tired tonight, changed my mind, can you do this for me, don’t feel like it any more) etc etc etc. We all put in a lot of effort, for what felt like very little reward (and no, not just sexual reward - jeez!) The thing is here (and this is something that, before I figured out what the hell was going on, used to really get my goat) is that men always seem to do all the work. When it comes to women, most men automatically assume the mantle of the White Knight: that is, they do all the work for her. Here’s the usual recipe: find a hot woman. Initiate eye contact. Get up the nerve to walk over there. Think of something to say on the way over. Start a conversation. Avoid the minefield of the first conversation (I mean, come on. When you’re talking to an attractive woman, it IS a minefield - the really hot ones get approached all the time.) They’re used to all sorts of fumbling approaches from random men, and a lot of them get their ego-jollies from shooting us down in amusing, giggle-inducing ways. Usually with their friends looking on.) ... we compliment them, make them feel beautiful, maybe buy them a drink or two. Ask for their phone number, call them up, arrange for a date, pay for the date, pay for the taxi, even move in for the first kiss .... it’s always up to US! Pursue, pursue, pursue. That’s what men feel compelled to do (well, most of us anyway), and it’s what women certainly expect. Now, there’s always an exception to the rule, a minority to the majority: some men just have to snap their fingers and hordes of hot women seem to come crawling out of the woodwork. In the same vein, some super-liberated women make no bones out of regularly asking men out on dates. But I’m talking about majorities here, and the truth of the matter is that, conventionally speaking, men generally tend to be the pursuer/initiator when it comes to women. All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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Now, this would all be well and good – wonderful, in fact! - if this was a recipe that actually worked. I don’t know of any guy that would complain about ponying up for drinks, flowers, or movie tickets if they were guaranteed a mutually satisfying date (or relationship) out of it. Here’s the catch: putting in all the effort doesn’t guarantee ANYTHING. Not a thing! The cold, hard, ugly truth is that women are programmed to expect these things, but that they don’t necessarily think any better of you for doing them. In fact, a lot of the time, they’ll think worse of you. When you think about it, it’s not a great way to earn respect, is it? It’s like saying, “Look! This is how much I like you! I’m willing to do all this stuff for you, pay for all these things, put all this effort in, just to make sure you like me!” A little pathetic, on second thought, isn’t it? And I’m not just talking about buying stuff. I’m talking about all the things that men do to make women like them which subtly alters the balance of power in the woman’s favor (for your reference, this is all the stuff that I talked about just before striking up a conversation, making all the phone calls, asking for dates, etc.) Handing over that kind of power to somebody right from the get-go is a bad idea. All this may sound pretty subtle; you may be rolling your eyes and thinking, “The guy’s reading waaaay too much into this.” But think about it! If some girl came up to you in a bar and started a conversation, bought you a drink, maybe paid you a compliment or two, asked for your phone number, called you up a couple days later and asked you out to dinner, arranged the restaurant and table, paid for the meal, took you home in a taxi, paid for the taxi – you’d probably think, “Well, this girl’s gonna be good for sex”, but you probably wouldn’t respect her that much would you? And you probably wouldn’t care that much about making an effort to see her again, would you? No! She’s already set the precedent. She’s already made it perfectly clear that she’s prepared to do all the work. She’s sent an unmistakable message that she’s prepared to make all the effort to keep things going between the two of you – so why should you bother? All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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I’m willing to bet that you’d probably even think she was kind of desperate, and wonder why she was making all this effort and sending all these loud-and-clear signals to somebody she’d only just met. None of this is good news for that girl – she’s maybe got herself a one- or two-nightstand, but not much potential in terms of mutual respect and affection. Well, newsflash! More and more women are starting to feel this exact same way when men act to them like that hypothetical girl from my example acted to the hypothetical you! Of course, things frequently aren’t as clear-cut as they were in that example, either. I was really laying it on before to make it crystal-clear just what my point was – but things are frequently much more subtle than that. A lot of the time, the people involved don’t realize how their opinions of the other person are being shaped – but that doesn’t change the fact that, subconsciously or not, those opinions are being formed regardless. And don’t even try to protest that my example doesn’t work because men and women see each other differently, therefore an example that’s based on how you (a man) feel about a woman in a certain situation isn’t relevant to how women would feel about you in that same situation, positions reversed. That ain’t gonna work with me (and it ain’t gonna work in the real world, either). If you don’t feel comfortable with the prospect of not actively pursuing a woman, think of it this way: we are all genetically pre-programmed to try our damndest to not concede defeat to whatever it is that’s pursuing us. Yeah, I know this all originated in the physical world (if a saber-tooth tiger’s running after you, try to get away from it ... etc etc) but it’s still just as true of our modern-day psychological and emotional states. And it definitely applies to dating: if someone’s chasing after you, it makes instinctive sense to make things difficult for them. It’s fun, interesting, prolongs the drama, and – most importantly! - it’s a real power-trip. Of course, some women will probably still fall for you if you do everything that I’ve just been trashing: put in all the effort, pay for everything, make your intentions perfectly clear, etc etc. But the ones worth pursuing – the interesting, independent, super-smart, super-hot All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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ones – don’t fall for any of that schmaltzy traditional man-pursues-women, genderinequality crap. These days, women are way too liberated for all that. If you doubt the truth of this, pick up a Cosmo or a Glamor magazine and flick through it. You’ll be stunned – stunned! - at what’s inside: it’s all “Do it for yourself!” and “Men are fun. But we don’t need them!” and “If you can’t buy your own drinks, you’re not a Cosmo girl” and “50 reasons why a vibrator is more rewarding than a boyfriend!” (no, I’m not kidding about that last one). And this is the stuff that’s being marketed as mainstream - ie, to appeal to the majority of women. To put it another way: enough of the world’s women subscribe to this viewpoint to make it worth the while of those magazine giants to actively, publicly support that very same viewpoint – which publicizes the viewpoint more, so more women know about it, so it becomes more firmly entrenched ... and so the cycle goes. Scary stuff. So to sum it up for you: my point here is that the widespread opinion of most women on themselves in relation to men is rapidly approaching what I call “critical independence levels”. It’s pretty uncool these days to be seen by other women as the kind of girl who gets off on “traditional” male attention – that is, to spend a lot of time with the kind of man who’ll take you out to dinner, buy you a dozen red roses, and offer you a diamond solitaire ring inside of six months (incidentally, there was an article in Cosmo about women who buy their own engagement rings when they’re not even engaged yet. If that’s not a sign of a female society that doesn’t need men for all the things we’ve traditionally been needed for, I don’t know what is!). Women are now thinking of themselves, and expecting to be seen by as others, as independent, savvy, agile-minded, street-smart chicks able to provide amply for themselves. This means that to be seen to be “taken care of” by a man (especially in the beginning stages of any type of relationship) is damned uncool. All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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I’m not saying that women haven’t been trained, if you will, to expect a man to put in all the effort - because most of them have. They’ll expect it of you. But when you fulfill their expectations, they’re not pleased – they’re contemptuous. And probably a little disappointed: you’ve just proved that you’re the same as everyone else. Just another guy, straight out of the factory mold. Sighhhh. Onto the next one: maybe he’ll be different. Dating is a game. And in any good game, there’s some give-and-take: both players should be playing that game. This is something that many men have forgotten. They just instantaneously hand all the power over to the woman. And I’m not talking about the keys to the car, the signature on the mortgage document, or custody of the children – I’m talking about the kind of basic emotional power that exists even at the very beginning of any potential relationship. I’m talking about the power of letting someone know how much you like them (especially when they haven’t let you know how they feel about you in return!) This is something that a lot of men make the mistake of doing. It’s demeaning for the man, and no fun at all for the woman. Make no mistake, you’re not doing her any favors by laying your cards on the table straight away – what you’re actually doing is taking all the fun out of things! Ever heard of the phrase, “the thrill of the chase”? Well, women like the chase just as much as you do. And it doesn’t mean they like to be on the receiving end of it all the time (although consciously, they may think that they do). No, what they really want – and what will allow their attraction to you to really ripen - is to have the opportunity to wonder: how much does he like me? Is he going to call me back? I hope I see him this weekend. I hope I didn’t make an ass out myself just then. Does he think I’m pretty? Does he think I’m funny? All that kind of stuff is exactly what fans the embers of a budding romance, relationship, purely sexual relationship or whatever it is you’re after into a screaming bonfire: because EVERYONE WANTS WHAT THEY CAN’T HAVE. Women included. If a woman is seeing someone and she doesn’t know quite how he feels about her, that’s adding a little stress, a little anxiety, to the situation – and if she’s a beautiful All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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woman, this will be something she’s not used to experiencing. Her natural reaction is to wonder “Is it me?” and to start spending time trying to figure that guy out. I’m not trying to say that you can’t be nice, or that you can’t show a girl you’re interested in her – you definitely can (and should!) and we’ll get to the details on how to do this without giving the game away pretty soon. But if you want a woman to like you, respect you, and pursue you, then you CANNOT LET HER KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF HER WITH TOO MUCH CERTAINTY. Think of it this way: if she’s absolutely, 100% sure that you like her and will do anything for her, that you want to see her again, that you think she’s completely gorgeous, etc etc, then she knows everything about you and your angle on whatever sort of relationship it is you’re having. And to her… that’s just boring. It’s much more fun, and a hell of a lot sexier, to leave a little something to the imagination! So: let’s cut to the chase. I’m going to tell you how to save your social and sex life by learning to attract gorgeous, smart, sexy women. And how you’re going to do this? Quite simple. By confusing the hell out of them, and never giving them what they want. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn’t it? Well, suspend your disbelief for now, because I promise it makes sense. As I think I’ve already said, dating is a game. Your role, as someone who’s active in the dating scene, is to learn to enjoy that game and to really become a proficient, adept game-player. Tip: the emphasis here is on the phrase game-player: as a game-player, you’re going to start toying more with the people you want to date ... and they’re going to like it. Specifically, I’m talking about teasing them. The essence of being a good tease is forcing her to double-guess some of what you do and say.

All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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Being unpredictable is HOT: it’s exciting and enjoyable, and it keeps her on her toes (about as far away from contempt and complacency as she can be, which is exactly where you want to keep her!). The absolute basics of teasing: DON’T LET HER SEE HOW INTERESTED YOU ARE. Now, obviously, you don’t want to act too distant here, because otherwise she’s really not going to have a clue what’s going on and will get frustrated. What you want to do is hint at how interested you are: show her you’re interested at first, and then cool your jets. Keep her guessing. Call her up, arrange to see her, be as affectionate as you want – and then just when things are going really well and she’s starting to open up, change tactics. Don’t call for a few days – and when you do call, keep the phone call short. Make sure you’re the one who ends the call. This is a great move, and one that can be employed in just about all sorts of circumstances – making sure that you’re the one who ends a date or meeting is a fantastic way to keep the other person’s fire burning verrrrry brightly! It’s especially good to cut short a date just when things are really getting interesting. Say you’re on the couch and things are getting physical – before it gets TOO heated, pull away, smile at her, and say you’ve had a great time but you really have to be somewhere else now. Nothing is more frustrating – in a good way, for you! - for a woman who’s really enjoying herself than to have it cut short by somebody else. If she’s any good at game-playing herself, she’ll be forced to go along with it without showing too much reluctance (otherwise she’d be handing the power over to you .... ahhhh this is great stuff! Once you know the game, it’s so easy and so fun to play!) which is even better for you: it creates internal conflict for her, which only emphasizes in her own head and heart the fact that she’s interested. So, don’t be surprised if she acts cool about it the first couple times it happens. A tip: don’t do this every time. You never want to overplay your hand; you never want her to be able to predict what you’re going to do next. If she’s expecting you to leave before things really come to a head, you’ve overdone it – because she’s got a handle on how you’re going to react or behave. Another reason not to overdo this tactic: she might start to think you’re not interested, All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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or that you’re a “game player”. I love this phrase, because everyone in the dating game is a game player. We all know it. There are definite (unspoken or not) rules to dating; people just like to pretend that there aren’t, because it allows them to keep their self-respect and feel more comfortable with their own behavior. Nobody likes to admit that they manipulate other people in order to enhance their own chances of success. But that is EXACTLY what happens ALL THE TIME! Nonetheless, you don’t want her to think of you as a game player, so make sure you keep things believably varied. Other techniques: keep your attitude itself variable. Sometimes be as affectionate and sweet as she could ever want; other times (for no apparent reason) be distracted and distant. Sometimes offer to give her a foot or shoulder massage, and be physically very touchy and huggy; other times stay at your own end of the couch/taxi seat/dining table and make no effort to touch her at all. When the two of you first meet up for a date is an excellent time to shake it up: sometimes you should go in for a big hug, kiss her on the cheek and tell her she looks beautiful; other times give her a relaxed “hello” but make no attempt to get close to her. This will drive her crazy, which is exactly what you want. The more unpredictable you are, the more intrigued she’ll be and the more time she’ll spend thinking about you (“Does he really like me? Should I initiate a kiss? Why hasn’t he tried to hold my hand or hug me yet? The other day he told me I was gorgeous but he hasn’t mentioned it again since then – what’s going on?”) .. and the more she’ll convince herself – without you even having to do anything – that she really, really wants you. Excellent! Something else that’s really important when it comes to women is humor. The ability to make people laugh – especially women! - isn’t necessarily a God-given ability; it’s simply seeing an opportunity to push the boundaries, and taking it. It’s kind of a confidence thing, and it’s impossible to overstate how important (and All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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incredibly beneficial it is to your social and sex life!) being able to make women laugh is. If you can make a woman laugh, she’s instantly attracted to you. Laughter is like a drug (this is a real no-brainer.) When you make someone laugh, you’re essentially forcing them to have a good time: if you can make a woman laugh, you’re giving her no choice but to like you. When women are polled about the qualities that they’re most attracted to in a man, humor tops the list every single time. It’s humor that women find most attractive. Not a fat pocketbook; not a four-foot shoulder span; not a flashy car or a great suit or a high-ranking position at work or a full head of shiny hair or anything like that. If you can make a woman laugh, you’ve just multiplied your chances of getting to know her better by a factor of about ten thousand. Example: my friend Ivan and I were out on the town once, trying to pick up some women (yeah, I know I could have said “having a couple of drinks” or “playing pool” or whatever, but the truth is that we were, in fact, out trying to find some intelligent, hot female company – otherwise known as “picking up women”). Now, Ivan is Russian. He speaks perfect English, and he’s a pretty OK looking guy, but he does have more than a trace of a Russian accent. He’s perfectly intelligible and all, but still: there it is. An accent. He’s always been a bit nervous about conversation with new people because of it, I think.(Some men will really work the whole European/foreign thing to the best possible advantage, but Ivan’s never really been one to do that.) Something else about Ivan: he’s very chivalrous. I don’t know if it’s the whole European thing again, but he’s always very polite to women, he never interrupts them, he always tries to agree with them and support what they’re saying, he’s just a very .... nice guy. He’s never had a lot of luck with the ladies. Anyway, so there we were. There were a couple of beautiful women over the other side of the room. They hadn’t noticed us yet.

All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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Ivan turned to me and whispered conspiratorially over his beer, “I think I need to change my style a little bit when it comes to women.” (This was directly after a series of pretty disappointing knockbacks on the dating scene for Ivan.) Unlike myself, who had no trouble actually picking women up – my troubles at the time stemmed from maintaining their interest in me – Ivan found it hard to actually initiate up a conversation with some unknown women; and the more beautiful they were, the harder it was for him. He was just too shy and too – well, nice. The thing about Ivan is that he’s actually a very funny guy. Sarcastic as hell. But around women, he was just too uptight. It was like he was on his best behavior – he came across like he was having afternoon tea at his grandparents’ house or something. So before we went over there, I advised him to first of all knock back a shot of the strongest liquor he could handle (to loosen his tongue a little bit); and, in terms of attitude, to act uninterested, to tease them, and to just be his normal sarcastic self. So anyway. Ivan looked at me and quirked an eyebrow; then ordered a shot of vodka, downed it, and over we went. During the course of the ensuing conversation, I spent more time looking at Ivan than I did at either of the women! He’d obviously taken to heart what I’d said – he was making a pretty good effort, all in all. He was leaned back casually against the wall (instead of leaning eagerly forwards with elbows on the table), he was allowing the conversation to have breathing space (instead of nervously filling the emptiness with whatever meaningless conversational nugget came to mind), and – most importantly! - he was actually making fun of the women. Not in a mean way, or anything like that – but when one of them (with curly hair which was, although very beautiful and shiny of course, obviously permed) ran a hand through her hair and told us how lucky she was to have naturally curly hair, Ivan busted her down straight away. He said, “Come on! What? You’re trying to tell me that that’s not a ‘pseudo-natural’ curl -?!”

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She just looked at him with her mouth a little bit open; and after a slight pause, her friend roared laughter and told us that she (the other chick) was always telling people she had naturally curly hair, when in fact she was a hairdresser and that curling her own hair was how she liked to relax at the end of the day – and after a few seconds when the situation could have gone either way, we all busted out laughing (including Miss Natural Curl). Ivan ended up getting the phone number of that girl. A few days later, he called her up and got a date hooked up. And I know it was because he loosened up enough to be able to give those women some crap – make fun of them, tease them a little, let them know that we knew they were full of it. And they liked it! When Ivan gave it right back to them, it was a surprise – and they found it attractive, because he came across as confident and different. Can you see what I’m talking about now? It’s not the details of Ivan’s conversation that matters; I’m trying to get across the idea of taking a woman down a notch in a friendly, confident, and above all funny way that lets her know that you aren’t going to let her walk all over you. Being funny isn’t that hard to do. You don’t need to have a series of humorous anecdotes memorized; you don’t need to study textbooks on How to Be Funny; and you DEFINITELY don’t have to have “funny” pick-up lines memorized (take it from me, even the funniest pick-up line is never actually funny. Stay away from canned pick-up lines if you value the company of hot women!). If you want a pick up line, as for a female opinion on a topic that will get a conversation going (don’t aim for a laugh, aim for a conversation starter). Such as “Hey my friends and I were just discussing something and want a female opinion, we’re organizing a party and are considering making it a Mexican theme or a Hollywood celebrity theme, what do you think is going to be more fun?” Anyway, getting back to humor… Being funny in a way that will attract beautiful, smart, sexy women is more about seizing the moment. You don’t need to have a huge vocabulary, and you don’t need to be able to construct elaborate wordplays or anything like that. You just need to be able to use mockery and sarcasm - and everyone knows that they’re the two lowest forms of wit! All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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But funnily enough, when it comes to women, they work. It’s the combination of confidence (you’ve got enough balls to make fun of a beautiful woman to her face), slightly negative humor (you’re gently but surely mocking something she said or did), and spontaneity (when you’re basing your humor on something that somebody has just said or done, you look like you’ve got a brain that can move quicker than most people’s). Well, that about sums it up from me for now. I hope this has all been helpful. A couple of things to remember before I go: Beautiful women are used to having everyone fawning all over them. If you refrain from doing so, you’ll make her sit up and take notice. Don’t make a lot of obvious effort. Act disinterested and laid-back when talking to a hot woman. Keep your posture relaxed and a bit distant: shoulders back but down, lean back against the wall or chair-back, don’t seem too eager. Keep her guessing! Tease her and keep things unpredictable. She’ll spend time trying to figure out what your deal is, and – there you go! You’re already in her head. If she’s not quite sure of how you feel about her – if she thinks you like her, but can’t quite be certain - she will be a lot more interested than if she knows without a shred of uncertainty that you’re head over heels, tongue-dragging-on-the-floor crazy about her. Don’t make it obvious how you feel. When it comes to humor, be as confident as you can. Be friendly and be overfamiliar – don’t insult her or anything, but equally, don’t be intimidated into being “nice” by her beauty. Be sharp and don’t let her get away with anything. She’ll be intrigued. I hope that you’ve enjoyed what I’ve had to say about Tactical Teasing and How to Get Women to Chase YOU. That’s it from me. Till next time, remember… Have fun, and keep those women guessing!

All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com

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