Approach Accelerator
April 24, 2017 | Author: agpiercing | Category: N/A
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Approach Accelerator How to Destroy the 7 “Approach Obstacles” Preventing YOU from Meeting Women
By Steve Scott
How to Approach with NO Fear of Rejection
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Table of Contents Disclaimer .................................................................. 4 Introduction ................................................................ 5 Obstacle #1- Fear of Approaching ................................. 7 Obstacle #2- Negative Self Talk .................................. 12 Obstacle #3- Hesitation.............................................. 15 Obstacle #4- Too Many Excuses .................................. 17 Obstacle #5- Anger Issues ......................................... 20 Obstacle #6- Believing in Luck Over Success ................ 23 Obstacle #7- Not Knowing How to Start a Conversation…26 Conclusion ................................................................ 35
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Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is not meant for minors. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
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Introduction The guys who are the most natural with women have a number of skills that others don’t possess. They’re confident. They know how to talk. And they can project a cool, fun attitude. But out of all the skills required, the most important is to know how to approach women. To be honest, every other skill is worthless if you’re unable to start conversations. Sure it’s great if women find you attractive but it won’t matter if you can’t muster the courage to approach them. Now there’s been a lot written about approaching women. In fact, I highly recommend The Art of Approaching Course, which covers everything you need to know about approaching women. (This is the same resource I used to five years ago to help me with my approaching women). So this report won’t be covering too many conversation starters (pick up lines to the layman). And I’m not going to delve into specific approach tactics. What am I going cover? Two words…Mental Game. Specifically how to overcome some of the limiting beliefs you have in regards to approaching women. Over the years, I’ve learned that a lot of the difficulty guys experience with women comes from the mind. Many have a mindset which has paralyzes them into inaction whenever they see an attractive woman. 5
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This report is about helping you overcome any mental roadblocks you’ve developed over the years. Furthermore, we’re going to learn how to develop the right kind of mindset. The kind where you can confidently approach any woman without fear or hesitation. Well that it’s it for now. Let’s get started…
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Obstacle #1- Fear of Approaching There are many obstacles a man has to overcome if he wants incredible success. But there is one hurdle that causes the most problems for guys---The fear of approaching women. If you’ve ever been nervous before starting a conversation then you’ve experienced some form of this fear. Typically a “fear of approaching” is a strong psychological AND physical reaction right before you start talking to a girl. For many a guy, this fear completely paralyzes him into inaction. He wants to talk a girl, but is simply too afraid to do it. Then at the end of the night, he kicks himself for not even trying. Overcoming this fear can be really hard for some guys. Often it takes weeks (even months) of hard work. So I’m not going to lie and promise a quick solution in this report. But with that being said, I will reveal how a simple SHIFT in your mindset can quickly reduce this fear…
What’s the Solution??? I used to be like a lot of guys. For many years, I let my fears prevent me from approaching women. I would see an attractive girl, but look for reasons to not go over and talk to her. And even though I knew why I had this problem, I simply couldn’t find a way to solve it! 7
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Finally I “manned up” and decided to do something about. I read a lot of books about this problem (including the one I mentioned before) and I tried a bunch of different techniques. I learned a valuable lesson during this process…Almost every man suffers from some form of “approach anxiety.” And it’s mostly caused by the way we look at the outcome of the conversation. Here’s what I mean... Think of what happens when you see an attractive girl. You probably think about a number of things. What’ll happen when you walk up to her. What it’s like to date her. How awesome it would be to have sex with her. The ways your life would change if she’s your girlfriend. Probably a dozen of these scenarios go through your head before you’ve even thought of a way to talk to her. Know what’s really interesting about this? You don’t even know if you’ll even like her! Maybe you’re like this? You create a nice, safe fantasy where you imagine “getting” that hot girl you see across the room. It’s a comfortable feeling. You don’t have to take a risk. And in this fantasy you have nothing to lose. This is the problem with this scenario--- It’s still a fantasy! Sure it’s fun to imagine being with this attractive girl. But it’s still a false reality. The challenge comes when you realize you have to approach this goddess and actually talk to her. You second guess yourself, wondering things like: • • • • 8
“What if she ignores me?” “What if she laughs at me?” “What if she doesn’t like me?” “What if her 6 and ½ foot tall boyfriend kicks my ass?”
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These are real, genuine concerns to have. So I won’t say they’re unimportant. The problem is this--- Many guys feel it’s SAFER to live in an imaginary world with a girl than to risk having her reject them. By going over and risking rejection, many feel they could “lose” what they’ve already “gained.” In other words, it’s more secure to live in an imaginary world than to have this dream shattered by a girl who is NOT interested. BOTTOM LINE--- A lot of men go through life living in a “fear of loss” over a desire for gain. They’d rather dream about a girl than to experience that nervousness and anxiety that’s a normal part of the approach process. How do you fix this problem? The quickest way to reduce (or eliminate) this anxiety is to understand the principle of “Outcome Orientation”. This happens when a guy compulsively dwells on what could happen rather than focus on the present moment. A man like this sees an attractive girl and thinks about the possibilities. Some are positive. Some are negative. The end result is he’s paralyzed into in-action because he’s too busy daydreaming. Now I won’t deceive you here. The solution to this problem is pretty easy to explain. But it’s actually hard for a lot of guys to do in a real-world setting. Here’s the solution: Remove ALL expectations before approaching any woman Sounds easy right? Well it’s one thing to say you don’t care. It’s another to make this happen. To put this solution into practice, I recommend doing the following three things: 9
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#1- Don’t put any girl on a pedestal. She’s a person like you and me. I don’t care if she’s the most beautiful woman in the world she’s still a human being. She’s not perfect. She’s not your soul mate. And she’s not an angel. Like men all women have flaws. Stop wasting time thinking otherwise. Forget the notion that you must *have* this girl. Here’s a quick fix if you have trouble with this ‘pedestal mindset.’ When you find yourself fantasizing about a particular girl, imagine her doing something you would find repulsive. Like taking a really smelly crap. Trust me this image will definitely knock her off your mental pedestal. #2- Stop thinking about what could go wrong. Remember that 90% of *failed* approaches aren’t that bad. The worst case scenario is a woman will be rude and not respond to your attempt to start a conversation. No matter what happens, you’ll live. Even when a girl isn’t interested, she’ll at least be polite. You’re not going to die. No one’s going to laugh at you. And you’re not in danger. From my experience, I’ve only had one or two “bad approaches” where an unpleasant thing happened. I learned from them. Then I moved on. No matter what, they weren’t anywhere near as bad as what used to happen in my imagination. #3- Replace “outcome orientation” with a new mindset. Remind yourself that you’re just trying to start a friendly conversation! 10
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You’re not trying to have sex. You’re not going to get married. And you don’t really even care if she likes you. The best mindset to have when approaching is you’re screening this girl to see if you *might be* interested in getting to know her better. This creates a sense of empowerment where you put yourself in the role of the selector over being the selectee. One way to create this mindset is to write the following on a piece of paper: “I am going to talk to this girl and see if I like her. It’s just a conversation. Nothing more. If I’m interested, I’ll ask for her number.” Put this statement into your own words. Memorize it. Then recite it before you approach any girl. Using an affirmation statement like this is a great way to overcome a fear of approaching women. It replaces your “outcome orientation” with a powerful mindset where you live in the moment. You’ll stop worrying about the outcome of a conversation. And you’ll respond better to the things she’s saying.
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Obstacle #2- Negative Self Talk There is a lot of power to self-talk. These are the words you say to yourself on daily basis which can be either negative or positive. The funny thing about self talk is your actions are largely based on the words you say to yourself. In other words if you think you’re going to fail you’ll fail. And if you think you’re going to succeed you’ll succeed. A lot of guys use self-talk before approaching a girl. Unfortunately most of it is negative. For instance they’ll think stuff like: •
“She’s surrounded by all those guys and won’t be interested in me.”
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“I’m not good-looking enough to attract her interest.”
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“I don’t know what to say.”
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“There’s no way she would be interested in me.”
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“I’m too scared to start talking to her.”
Negative self-talk varies from guy to guy. However there is a common element to these thoughts. Most guys dwell on what could go wrong instead of what could go right. 12
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Instead of seizing the opportunity to meet someone new, they’re consumed by powerful, negative that paralyzes them into inaction. In fact, this emotion is strong that it often prevents many guys from not even approaching a girl even if they really want to.
What’s the Solution??? If you’re having problems with negative self-talk then you need to immediately address this issue. First, you’ll want to pay CLOSE attention to the words you’re telling yourself right before you approach. When you’re about to talk to a girl take note of the words that go through your head. Are they positive? Or are they negative? Write down any negative thoughts you have; including the exact words you’re saying to yourself. Do this exercise a few times to really root all the different types of self-talk you’re using. Next, you’re going to directly challenge all the negative self-talk you’ve been using. The best way to do this is to create a series of affirmation statements you recite on a daily basis. An affirmation statement should be written in a positive tone. And should be the exact opposite of the negative self-talk that you’ve been using. For instance let’s say one of your self-talk statements sounds like this: “I won’t know what to say when I start a conversation with that girl.” 13
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To turn this into a positive statement you could create an affirmation that sounds like: “I have a LOT to talk about whenever I approach a woman. She’s going to love the conversation she’s going to have!” Do this exercise for each of the negative self-talk statements that you’ve been using. Try your best to cover everything that goes through your mind as you approach a woman. And make sure you create affirmations that are in a positive tone. Finally you’ll want to recite these on a regular basis. During the first few weeks of trying this exercise I recommend 2 to 3 times a day. Especially before you go out to approach women.
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Obstacle #3- Hesitation As we’ve discussed, some guys get paralyzed into inaction before approaching a girl. This often happens when a guy worries too much about the right way to start a conversation. He wants to really impress her from the beginning and wracks his brain, trying to come up with that one magical line that’ll hypnotically attract her. I call this the “perfect line fallacy.” You want her to like you. So you struggle; trying to think of what to say to start the conversation. During this time you let minutes (and even hours) to pass BEFORE you work up the courage to approach this girl. This obstacle all comes down to hesitation. The idea of the “perfect line” is a sneaky way your subconscious mind allows you lie to yourself. You’re too scared to approach so you form an excuse, avoiding the possibility of rejection. It’s safer to say that you couldn’t think of what to say instead of ‘I was too scared to approach.’ Even the best excuse is still an excuse. Women are extremely intuitive. So if you hesitate to approach a woman she’s probably picked up the ‘vibe’ that you want to talk to her. But you’re too scared to. You know what happens then? She’ll form the opinion that you’re a low status guy because you’re too scared walk over and talk to her. By now you can see why it’s bad to hesitate on approaching a girl. Not only will you psyche yourself out, you’ll also make her think you’re an unconfident guy.
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What’s the Solution??? My advice here… “Approach without Hesitation.” When spotting an attractive girl you have 5 seconds or less to approach her. No more than that. Taking too long will give your mind to come up with excuses for why you can’t talk to her. During these few seconds you simply think of the first thing you’ll say to her. Sure it might not be the perfect line. But at least you’re taking action. And if you’re having trouble with what to say, I recommend using an opener from this site. So don’t worry about what to say…just go up and talk! The solution may seem over simplified. That’s because the best solutions are often the easiest ones! I guarantee you’re success with women will skyrocket if you Approach Without Hesitation on a regular basis. You’ll train yourself to live in the moment and not obsess over saying the “perfect line”. Furthermore you’ll seem more natural because whatever comes out of your mouth won’t seem canned or rehearsed. Instead you’ll project a confident, cool vibe that women love!
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Obstacle #4- Too Many Excuses We talked about excuses before. As humans we’ve trained ourselves to use excuses for why we can’t do certain things. I have no time to start my own business. I’m too fat to join a gym. She doesn’t seem like the type that would be interested in me. These are all excuses that guys tell themselves every day. The problem is when you make excuses about what you can’t do; it becomes way too easy to believe this mindset. Then you’re stuck with the same results which made you unhappy in the first place! We’ve all made an excuse at some point in our life. Myself included. Unfortunately I see guys doing this on a daily basis when it comes to women. What type of excuses am I talking about? For instance...say you spot an attractive girl, a common excuse happens when you look for a bullshit reason why you can’t talk to her. For example here are a few excuses guys often use:
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“She’s surrounded by other guys.”
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“I don’t think I’m her type.”
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“I’m not in the mood.”
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“If I talk to her, then that totally hot red-head in the corner will see me and get pissed off. Then she’ll be annoyed if I approach her later.” (Seriously I had a guy say that to me once)
When it comes to excuses, I have to be brutally honest here. Your “excuses habit” is the direct result of the way you’ve been taught to handle adversity. Like one of Pavlov’s Dogs, you’ve been trained to take a specific action when you want to approach a girl. In a metaphorical sense you learned to curl your tail between your legs and whimper whenever you feel stressed. Rather than talking to a woman, you’ve developed the habit of using your mind to come up with reasons for WHY you can’t approach. Pretty crazy, right?
What’s the Solution??? “Can’t” is the deadliest word in the English language. It prevents you from taking action. It limits your potential. And it’s stopping from getting all that you want out of life. Using the word “can’t” on a daily basis will limits what accomplish in your life. When it comes to women, this word will stop you from taking a risk on meeting the type of women you truly want. Instead of dwelling on why you can’t talk to a girl, find a way that you can. 18
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The solution is simple…Develop what I call a “problem-solving” mindset. As with the negative self-talk exercise, you’ll want to record all the excuses you make on a daily basis. Do you feel too fat? Too old? Too young? Too boring? Too ugly? Too poor? All of these are excuses that guys make. Some can be fixed. Some can’t If it’s something like your weight or appearance; realize this is something that can be fixed. Use your problem solving mind to come up with solutions for overcoming this obstacle. If it’s something like your age; realize it’s time to develop the right kind of mindset. Some girls are attracted to older guys. And some are attracted to younger ones. Use your problem solving mind to create the kind of mindset where you don’t care any “limiting factor” you possess.
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Obstacle #5- Anger Issues This is a problem I see on a consistent basis. The sad fact is a large number of men harbor a strong sense of “entitlement” when it comes to women. A guy who feels in entitled to women lives in life in state of constant anger. He’s not getting the results he *deserves* and blames women for it. A guy like this sees a provocatively dressed woman, he feels he’s allowed to treat her in a demeaning manner because he thinks “she’s probably a slut or a bitch.” Here’s what I mean…I run a newsletter with more than 60,000 subscribers. So I tend to get a lot of email every day. Most of what I read is positive. These are from guys who simply want to improve their success with women. Sometimes though, I get a message or two that’s laced with outright hostility towards women. It’s made me realize that many guys are harboring some serious anger issues. Don’t believe me? The next time you’re out in social venue like a bar or club; pay close attention to what guys say among themselves. You’ll find some will say angry things towards a woman without even trying to talk to her. They’ll say (or think) stuff about how 20
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she’s probably a bitch, or looks like she has an attitude. [I’m being polite here…most of what’s actually said is a lot worse.] I’m not accusing you of having anger. But odds are some guys reading this report WILL have some hostility towards women. No matter what, this kind of anger does nothing to help you with women. The end result of this emotion is you’ll give off a negative vibe which repulses women.
What’s the Solution??? (Again, I’m not saying you have anger issues. Most of the guys I meet are perfectly normal. However I think this is an obstacle that needs to be addressed for the small number of readers who are dealing with this issue. So if you don’t have any anger, feel free to skip this and move on to the next session.) I don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to tell you that anger towards women is the direct result of feeling insecure about yourself. This feeling comes from wanting more success with women, but not knowing how to do it. A guy like this sees feels insecure every time he sees an attractive woman. He feels like she’ll reject him if he approaches her. So in his mind, she’s a bitch because she’ll *probably* hurt his fragile ego. So a lot of times anger towards women comes from a form of selfloathing. Remember that YOU are responsible for you success in life. If you’re not good at something, then do something about it. Don’t blame others for your shortcomings. If you’re angry at women, it’s probably because you don’t know the RIGHT way to attract their interest. (Hopefully this guide and my newsletter will help with this.) 21
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It’s up to you to improve your life. I guarantee that with the right mindset (and hard work), you can have as much success with women as you want. Furthermore, one of the BEST indicators of success in life is who you choose to spend your time with. If you’re surrounding yourself with guys who are negative (or hostile) it becomes very easy to develop the same attitude. Do yourself a favor and start making new friends. Find guys who have a positive attitude and are good with women. Become friends with these guys. Find out what works for them. Ask them for advice. Learn everything you can about giving off that a vibe that’s naturally attractive to women. It’s up to you to create the kind of life you want. You’ll find that being around positive people and developing your social skills is the secret ingredient to becoming a naturally attractive guy around women.
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Obstacle #6-Believing in Luck Over Success You’ve probably heard a guy use the expression “I got lucky last night” after having sex with a girl. I think this is a pretty interesting phrase. When a guy says something like this, it shows he subconsciously believes any success he has with women is the result of an external force. Not an internal one. Many people spend their “dating life” waiting for something happen. They watch too many Hollywood movies and listen to too many love songs on the radio. This has programmed many into believing that *fate* will bring you that special woman. Fate will draw her to you. Fate will make her start the conversation. Fate will let her know that you’re a shy guy so she has to be the one to set up the date. Hopefully you can see the danger of relying too much on fate. When you look to external factors like luck it becomes too easy to make excuses. Like anytime you *fail* with a woman it’s because “it wasn’t meant to be.” An attitude like this causes you to have the mindset that you have no control over your success with women.
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What’s the Solution??? It’s important to shift your attitude and develop what I call a “success mindset.” This is an attitude where you internalize any outcome with life. You’re rich because you made it happen. You’re good at your job because you made it happen. And you’re good with women because you made it happen. Understand that YOU are in complete control of your ability to approach women. If something doesn’t go right, it wasn’t bad luck it was due to a mistake that you made. Now this doesn’t mean you should beat yourself after every *failed* approach. We all get rejected sometimes. It’s the risk you take when you try to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know. The important thing to remember is that each “failed approach” provides an opportunity to improve your success. Instead of having a negative attitude about being rejected, look for the lesson you just learned. Did she have a boyfriend or husband? Were you too aggressive? Did your conversation starter hook her interest? Were you displaying confident body language? All of these are questions you should ask yourself after every approach. Even the successful ones. Looking for the lesson on a regular basis will shift your external mindset into an internal mindset. In other words you’ll stop making excuses about why you’re not having any *luck* with women.
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Realize that the results you’re getting are due to mistakes you’re making. Not some insidious outside force that’s controlling your life. YOU control the outcome of your life. So stop thinking of yourself as lucky or unlucky. Create the mindset that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do in life. Including increasing the success you’ve having with women.
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Obstacle #7-Not Knowing HOW to Start a Conversation I’ve saved the biggest obstacle for last. Being unable to think of what to say when approaching a woman is a problem many guys have. Should I ask for her opinion? Do I use some cheesy pick up line? Should I be direct? These are all questions you might ask yourself. The harsh truth is to start a conversation with a woman YOU need to be the first one to break the ice. She’s not going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you’ll have to walk up to the room and be the first to open your mouth. So what do you say? The good news is I have a few solutions. In the section below, I’ll give you three ways you can start a conversation. All of them are ones I’ve personally use when approaching women.
What’s the Solution??? #1- The Facial Expression “Trick” I’ll be the first to admit that my approaching skills are less than stellar. Like a lot of guys, I hate being forced to think of some 26
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witty thing to say just to start talking to a woman I like. So one of the things I’ve done is build a naturally attractive lifestyle and make women do all the work. Yeah it’s pretty lazy, but it works for me. The problem is I’ll often see an attractive girl and know the only way I can meet her is to “sack up” and approach her. The problem is I’m not really into the long and complicated conversation starters. Too much to memorize. Instead, I like to use stuff that’s simple and direct; which immediately get the ball rolling. Who wants to waste 10 minutes telling a story, hoping a woman will find it interesting? If I’m going to fail, I want to fail fast. So whenever I spot an attractive girl, I’ll use my facial “trick” conversation starter which works incredibly well. In fact, I would say this works about 90% of the time I use it. Here’s what I mean… The truth is, you can “approach” a girl without saying a word! Whenever a person is in a public setting, it’s human nature to look around and observe who’s around. Your goal is to use this to your advantage. When you spot a girl, wait till she looks around the room and sees you. When a girl looks at you, lock eyes on her and hold it. 27
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At this point, you have TWO choices: 1) Hold eye contact and wait till she looks away 2) Hold eye contact and flash an over-exaggerated face that’ll make her laugh. My choice is to ALWAYS flash a funny, playful face! Why does this work? Well most people (especially guys) act way too serious when they’re in a venue like a bar or club. Most are afraid to be themselves. They’re too busy trying to give off the ‘tough guy’ vibe. To set yourself apart from these clowns, show that you don’t take everything too seriously. By showing a woman a playful expression you demonstrate that you’re a fun guy. Without saying a word, she’ll know that you’re the type of guy who’ll be interesting to meet. As you know women have certain body language signals which indicate their interest in a guy. So if a girl laughs, smiles, or flashes an equally funny face; then you’re being a given what’s known as an “approach signal.” This is an invitation for you to walk over and break the ice. I usually like to start with, “Why are you making faces at me?” This one almost always gets a laugh. What type of faces should you make? There isn’t a strict formula. I recommend doing something that’ll get a laugh. For instance, here are some faces you could make: 28
Stick your tongue out. Give her a “pouty” look. Show the exaggerated “pick up artist” wink. Give a mock-embarrassed look.
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Display big “shit-eating grin” smile. Pretend to be really angry then crack into a smile. Give a quick head tilt (like the “what’s up” expression.) Send a quick wave. Do a mock “in love” expression (grab your chest and flutter your eyes.) Show a fake a suspicious look (like you’re not sure why she’s looking at you.)
If you’re not sure how this works, let me give a quick example that my buddy Aaron used. Now Aaron isn’t the most attractive guy in the world, BUT he’s pretty good with women. In fact, he met his current girlfriend at a nightclub a few years back when (upon locking eyes with her) he went to great lengths to make her laugh (at my expense, I might add.) Being the friend that he is, Aaron “threw me under the bus” just to get a laugh. As I was talking to a group of people, he looked over to this girl as she was sitting with her friends and started “fake-choking” himself pointing at me with a smug look on his face. And before I could ask Aaron what the hell he was doing, he was across the room talking to his future girlfriend. This quick story brings up a few important points: #1- I need to find better wing men :-) #2- You don’t need over elaborate gimmicks to start a conversation. #3- A friendly attitude and smile can be your secret weapon When using facial expression trick, don’t be surprised if she looks away from you initially. Making contact with a complete stranger can be uncomfortable for a lot of people.
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Usually, a girl will look away then wait a few seconds before looking back. When she does, MAKE SURE you don’t turn away! Instead, try upping the ante by smiling, nodding your head at her, or using one of the funny expressions I just mentioned! You’ll find that a playful demeanor makes a woman open to talking to you. When you get a positive response or enticing smile, your only job is to walk over and introduce yourself. #2- Get Her Opinion The “opinion” opener is an incredibly effective way to start a conversation. Detailed at this site, this technique is pretty simple to use. All you do is walk up to a woman (or group of women) and get their opinion on something. An opinion opener is used to begin a conversation with a woman, get her attention and then transition into getting to know her better. It differs from other “conversation starters” because it doesn’t sound like some corny pick up line. Getting her opinion works many different reasons: #1- Women love to give their opinions. #2- Any response can be used to ‘seed’ a follow-up conversation. #3- You’re not telegraphing your intentions. #4- You’re more interesting than most guys who approach her. The perfect opinion opener has a few crucial elements. First, it should be an open-ended question. So it shouldn’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. 30
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Secondly you need to involve all the people in the group. Not just the woman you want. Any group you approach should get the impression that you’re a fun, outgoing guy who isn’t going to be intrusive. Next you should give a time constraint. If a group thinks you’re going to stay for a few minutes, they’ll be more likely to open up and be friendly. Usually this can be accomplished by starting the conversation like this: “Hey guys. Real quick question …” Fourth the opinion opener should be interesting. Keep it light hearted and centered on topics women like (drama, gossip, funny, etc). Finally you need to approach with a reason. In other words, you can’t give the appearance that you’re randomly walking around the room asking people questions. I recommend referencing a conversation you were just having with your friends. So using the previous example, you could say something like “Hey guys. Real quick question… My buddy and I were just having an argument that I was hoping you could settle…” Creating an opinion opener isn’t that hard. Just sit down and think about three to four interesting questions you could ask women. For instance, here’s a classic opener that many guys use. (Called the “GString Opener”): “Hey guys, real quick question… My buddy and I were just having can argument that I was hoping you could settle…”
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We were discussing a mutual friend who totally messed up with his girlfriend and cheated. Unfortunately his girlfriend found this other girl's g-string underneath his bed. To cover for himself, my friend told his girlfriend that he has a fetish for wearing women's underwear. What's funny is his girlfriend loves this idea and now makes him wear this G-String. So could you settle this argument for me: Do you think he should continue to cover for himself or should he come clean with his girlfriend?” Like I said, this one has been used by a lot of guys. So you’ll definitely want to create an opener that’s a little bit different. The key here is to pay attention to the elements of humor, interest, and drama that’s used in this opener. All of these elements need to be used when you create your own. #3- Go Direct The final conversation starter doesn’t require any ‘games.’ Many guys think they need a “magical phrase” to talk to women. However that’s not true. Sometimes the most direct approach works the best. What do I mean? You approach a woman and tell her that you’re interested in getting to know her. No pick-up lines. No opinions. And no gimmicks. You walk up and say that you saw something interesting about her and you want to know more. The key to this conversation starter is to describe that you liked that doesn’t have to do with her looks. So it should be a statement that references her actions rather than her attractiveness. That way you won’t come across as a cheesy pick up artist. 32
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Instead you’re acting like a confident guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. I like to use a variation of this conversation starter when I see a girl during the daytime. Called the “Serendipity Opener”, you take advantage of the fact that a lot of women believe that ‘fate’ will attract the perfect man. With this technique, you approach a woman and say how you’re really busy, but there was something about her that made you to want to talk to her. For example, you could say something like: “Hey, I’m on my way to [Insert whatever you’re doing], but you seem like a cool person who I had to meet! My name is…” Obviously this is a very direct way to start a conversation. She can either choose to get to know you or she doesn’t. It’s what they call high risk/high reward. You’ll often get rejected with this one because a woman only has your appearance and body language to judge you by. So if you’re not displaying a confident demeanor, then she might not be interested. But when the direct opener works, it really works. If she’s interested back, you’ll skip a lot of the game playing that happens with indirect openers. Instead you’ll go right to the point where you know you’re interested in one another. It’s great for quickly ramping up the physical escalation.
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When you go direct all you do is approach the girl, smile, give her a compliment, and then tell her that you “just had to meet her.” And this isn’t a lie. If you’re approaching this girl, odds are there is something about her that does stand out. (Hopefully it’s more than her looks.) Depending on the situation (and your preferences), you’ll want to use a different adjective other than “cool.” For instance, some of the words you could use are:
Intriguing Interesting Amusing Funny Awesome Fascinating
With this conversation starter, there’s the belief that your actions are random. Play your cards right and you’re the confident guy who she’s been fated to meet. My advice...The direct opener is great for the daytime when there’s not a lot of time to talk. You’ll get right to the point, talk to her for a few minutes if she’s interested, ask for her number. I recommended approaching a few women each day using this technique. It’s one of the best ways to overcome many of the mental roadblocks that I’ve discussed in this report.
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Conclusion Well that’s it for this report! Hopefully you learned some about overcoming the seven ‘mental’ roadblocks which are preventing you from approaching women. Just remember that it’s a skill like any other. If you challenge these obstacles and take steps to eliminate them, your success with women will skyrocket! There is a lot more to learn about approaching women in addition to what I just discussed. In The Art of Approaching system, you’ll get a comprehensive plan for approaching women and quickly building attraction. This course is specifically designed to help you eliminate that “approach” obstacle which plagues many guys. After implementing the techniques described here, you’ll have the confidence to approach ANY woman, ANY time, in ANY environment. To give you an idea of the things you’ll learn here’s brief list of what’s covered in this system: λ Advice opener — How to use the confidence of a subject matter to covertly force a woman to admire you.
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Compliment opener — The oldest and simultaneously most MISUSED opener known to man. If you do this one wrong… forget it (you’ll want to pick up another jar of Vaseline!)
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Direct openers — The most DANGEROUS (because it’s the easiest for her to reject) yet if pulled off right — is very EFFECTIVE!
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Drama opener -- A simple and powerful technique when done correctly. You’ll captivate her mind and she’ll hang on your every word… if done right! (Fully detailed inside!)
λ Insult opener — This technique is psychological warfare at its heights! But don’t make the mistake of walking up to someone and start slinging the “B” word around and think you’ll get a date (It’s much more subtle but can knock a woman off her high horse!) λ
Joke opener — The most difficult technique… which makes it the most powerful technique. Why? Because IF you know how to make her laugh… you’ve got her right where you want her. BUT if you don’t… you’ll be cold another night!
λ Online openers — The internet is TOO popular to dismiss. Don’t think “cyber-lines” with a smiley face will cut it. However there are tried and true techniques! λ
Opinion opener — Powerful engaging technique. But if you don’t pull this off right… YOU’LL look like a pompous prick!
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Role-play opener - Understand HOW… and… WHY this works and you’ve built an immediate bridge between you and your desires! And your target will enjoy every minute of it.
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Situational openers – Quick — Powerful — Explosive… The 3 elements of this technique. Improvise in ANY situation… any time and she’s sure to be yours!
λ The single most important thing you must do if you ever want to see the women you approach again. Blow this… and chalk up your chance of ever “GETTING” the women you desire! 36
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λ How to PROPERLY introduce yourself to the women of your choice! Lame one liners won’t do it… but after you understand this amazing technique the “hardest” part of meeting a women becomes immediately easy! λ
How to “break” the thought patterns present in every woman you ever want to meet. If you don’t use these you’re setting yourself up for failure… even before you start!
λ Discover 4 “How to introduce yourself” structures as your foundation to design your own unique WAYS to greet the woman you desire! λ How to avoid the old saying… “He who hesitates… masturbates!” in 3 seconds flat! You’ll quickly identify your target — design your opening — and walk away with your desires in hand. Meeting the girl of your dreams has never been easier! λ
How to NEVER force the woman you’re approaching to cringe! Very important…. BUT… commonly overlooked. And if you don’t KNOW this one you’ll always wonder “why” she didn’t respond to you (even if you have male-model good looks).
λ How to use a female tactic of seduction on the woman of your choice! (No it doesn’t require bikini underwear) It works like a charm… and leaves an impression on their memory! λ
The one assumption (completely OPPOSITE from the truth) men make about approaching women. Once you know it… you’ll be so shocked about it, you’ll want to try it out immediately!
λ The 5 things you must do BEFORE approaching a woman. You’d be surprised how many men don’t have a clue about this one. But if YOU don’t… you’ll look like a dog chasing its tail. λ 8 commonly overlooked places to MEET a woman. And a simple guide to analyze which place is best for you.
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How to Approach with NO Fear of Rejection
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10 do’s of flirting with a woman. They’re quick to grasp… and easier to apply… YET… it creates the environment to make her feel comfortable. (only when she’s comfortable will she want to take it further)
λ “5 don’ts” of flirting. Don’t blow this one. So many men make countless blunders here… and now you can avoid them like the plague! λ How to mesmerize the women you’ve approached. It’s simple and fun — and you’ll know you’ve got her once you “read her”. If you’re serious about skyrocketing your “approach women” success, then I highly recommend you check out The Art of Approaching. To your Success with Women,
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