A Man to Tame - Rachel Lindsay (1)

A Man To Tame - Rachel Lindsay Kate Gibson knew that when she took over the job of factory doctor it would be difficult to persuade the men to accept a woman. She certainly hadn't expected to have the same trouble with Joshua Howard, the forceful head of the company. ‘You can't get rid of me as easily as that, Mr. Howard,’ Kate said angrily. ‘I have no intention of returning to London. I have signed a contract with you and I'm going to fulfill it.’ It was only later on Kate wondered if, having accepted her as a doctor, Joshua would ever see her as a woman… CHAPTER ONE 'Do I need to come for another prescription, Doctor?' the man asked. 'No,' Kate Gibson replied. 'Once you have finished these pills you should be completely well.' With a nod the man walked out and Kate leaned back in her chair with a sigh. The waiting room was full, yet she did not have the energy to press the buzzer that would usher in another patient, another problem, another decision. The very thought made her tremble and Brought dampness to hands that, until three months ago, had always been cool and firm. 'It's only delayed shock,' she told herself. 'If I can struggle through the next month or so I'll be fine.' Forcing herself to sit up, she pressed the buzzer and smiled at the middle-aged woman who walked in. ‘Sorry to bother you, Doctor, but——-' I’m here to be bothered.' Kate Gibson's smile was warm and reassuring. It lit up her pale triangular face and seemed to lessen the shadows that lurked in the large, limpid grey

eyes. No one, seeing Kate away from this clinical room with its sterilised instruments and shelves of filing cards, would have guessed her to be a member of one of the most arduous of professions. Small and slight—barely five foot two and under eight stone— she looked too physically frail to have coped with seven years' training and then the physical strain of general practice. But coped she had: admirably so until three months ago., 'What's wrong with you, Mrs Rogers?' Kate asked hastily, unwilling-Jo let her thoughts return to a scene that still gave her nightmares. At once the woman launched into a long list of symptoms and Kate listened silently, knowing that they were only psychosomatic manifestations of her unsatisfactory marriage to a man who preferred the company of young girls to that of his fat and untidy wife. A few months ago Kate would have spent time trying to make the woman see this and encouraging her to change her way of life. Now she was too tired to bother. It was this attitude in herself which she found disquieting and she knew that if it remained with her she would have to give up general practice and do clinical research. Certainly a doctor who could not summon up interest in her patients was worse than useless. ‘And how are you feeling, Doctor?' Mrs Rogers «cut into her thoughts. 'Still suffering from the after-effects of that fire?' 'I feel fine,' Kate said, and handed the woman a prescription for tranquillisers. Mrs Rogers put it into her bulging handbag. 'Gave me quite a shock when I saw your picture in the paper that morning. A real heroine, you were. I shouldn't wonder if you don't get a medal for it.' 'It was nothing.' Kate stood up, anxious to cut short the conversation. The people whose lives you saved wouldn't call it nothing! Beats me how you had the nerve to rush into a block of flats that was on fire.' ‘I didn't rush in,' Kate corrected. 'I was on the top floor visiting a patient. So you see I was already there.' ‘But you didn't rush out,' Mrs Rogers said triumphantly. 'Leastways not till you got three old ladies out with you. As well as that young mother and her twins. You'll definitely get a medal for that. I feel it in my bones.' Kate opened the door to stop the flow of words, and was on the point of closing it when the receptionist put her head round the corridor and motioned towards Dr Frisco's room, the senior partner in the group practice where Kate worked. 'Dr Frisco would like to see you when surgery ends,', the girl murmured.

Kate nodded and returned to her consulting room, too busy to give much thought as to why Peter Frisco should wish to see her. It was half-past one before the last patient left and she was free to relax; if such a thing were possible, knowing that lunch had to be snatched before one went on a round of visits that—if her list was anything to go by— would take her until five o'clock to complete, and by then she would have to start thinking of returning to take evening surgery. Only as she heard a heavy expulsion of breath did she realise she had given a deep sigh, and she followed it with a frown. It was disquieting to be so tired. Surely it couldn't still be reaction from the accident? Unwilling to remain a prey to her .thoughts, she smoothed her hair in front of the mirror, light-brown hair too fine to do anything with except keep it cut short, when it then displayed a tendency to curl softly round her head. It was a style that made her took younger than her years; a fact she deplored since she believed it robbed her of authority. Wishing for the umpteenth time that she was tall, dark and statuesque she crossed the corridor to Peter's room and went in. Hi, Kate, take a chair,' he smiled. 'I have something here that might be of interest to you.' Anticipating a discussion on a case, she was surprised when he picked up a letter written on large-sized white paper with a business address of some sort printed on the top. 'It's from a friend of mine,' he explained. ‘More my brother's friend actually, but I've known Joshua Howard pretty well myself over the past five years. He owns Howard Engineering. You've probably heard of it.' The name rings a bell,’ she said. ‘Wasn't there some publicity about it in the papers a few months ago? Something about not having a strike there for years.’ ‘That's Joshua's firm,’ Peter replied. 'One of the best run in the country.' Sensing her surprise that they should be discussing an engineering firm, Peter Frisco put down the letter and looked at her. He was in his middle thirties with a smiling face, a gentle manner and a questioning mind. 'I'm not merely making conversation, Kate. This letter could be just what you want. Joshua's company has its own doctor, but he's been taken ill and has been forced to leave. It will be about six months before he's fit enough to come back and meantime they're managing with the odd locum, but they would like someone to stand in for him.' At once Kate knew that Peter and his partners wished her to leave. This was their way of sugaring the pill of her dismissal. Bitterness threatened to close her throat and she swallowed hard. Though she had been with this group practice for two years she was not a fully fledged partner. That choice would have come up for her at the end of this year, though now it looked as if she would never be given the opportunity of accepting or refusing it. Yet she could not blame her colleagues for being unhappy with her. In the last three months they had had to stand in for her on several occasions.

'It's kind of you to bother trying to find me another position,' she said quietly. 'But there's no shortage of jobs for doctors, even inadequate ones like me.' 'Inadequate ones like… are you crazy? In consternation Peter Frisco jumped to his feet. 'If you call yourself inadequate I'd like to meet someone whom you consider pulls their weight! You've worked like a Trojan since you came here. As a matter of fact we weren't going to wait until December before talking to you about joining our partnership, and it's only because of the last, couple of months that we haven't done so.' ‘You don't need to make excuses. Peter. T suppose the right thing would have been for me to have resigned and not waited for you to find me another position.’ 'Holy mackerel!' Peter exploded. ‘We aren't trying to get rid of you. We're concerned about your health. That5s why we thought this temporary job with Howard Engineering was ideal. It will get you into a quiet practice in a small country town where you will have a chance to relax in a way you can never do in London, By Christmas you should be fighting fit again and ready to come-back to a full partnership here.' The tears that came into Kate's eyes at this display of understanding showed not only her gratified astonishment but her weak emotional state, when the merest suggestion of kindness made her want to dissolve into tears. 'Do you really think it's necessary for me to go away?' she asked huskily. Perhaps if I took a holiday for a month——-' 'If we thought a month's holiday would put you back on your feet we would have suggested it weeks ago. You need a complete change of environment.' 'Perhaps I should get out of private practice and take a job in industry?' ‘You would hate that. That was why I thought Joshua's offer was ideal. You'll be able to do private practice but without any of the pressures you're getting now. It will give you a chance to indulge your bent for' psychology,' he added with a grin. Tell me more about the position,' she said. ‘Why does the company need its own doctor? Surely everyone is on, the National Health there?' 'Joshua likes to give his work force the best. Apparently in the bad old days when you had to pay for every visit you made to a surgery, old Howard senior gave free medicine to every one of his people, and now Joshua is doing the same. His factory has one of the highest outputs per capita in Europe, and he puts it down to their good health. His contention is that the National Health doctor is too overworked to give full attention to every patient, so he is prepared to pay privately for them to have it.' ‘What happens if his men have to go to hospital? Is that done privately too?' Tor operations and things like that he's more than happy with the Health Service. He feels it's only in day-to-day medicine that a patient frequently needs that extra bit of attention.'

'He's a far-seeing man,' Kate said. 'If doctors could spend more time listening to their patients' mental troubles instead of just dealing with the physical ones, hospital attendance would be cut by half. Mrs Rogers is a prime example. She was in again today, the third time in a fortnight, yet there's nothing wrong with her that four or five hours' chat wouldn't help to cure. Three months ago I could have done it,' she said dejectedly, 'but now it's all I can do to cope with my stint here without putting in any extra time.' 'That's why we'd like you to accept this offer,' Peter said. 'By Christmas I'm sure you'll be a hundred per cent fit.' 'There's no reason why I shouldn't be fit now,' she expostulated. 'It's stupid of me to go to pieces like this.' 'It beats me why you're so surprised at your reaction.' It was Peter's turn to expostulate. 'When I think of what you did in that raging inferno… I doubt if I'd have had your courage.' 'Of course you would.' 'No,' he said doubtfully. 'I don't think I'd have gone back into the building three times, the way you did.' 'My brain wasn't working at the time,' she smiled. 'I did it automatically. 'Not automatically,’ he disagreed. 'You must have been dead scared and you screwed yourself up to a pitch where you stopped thinking and feeling. You're paying the penalty for it now by delayed reaction. That's why you look as if you're ready to burst into tears if anyone forgets to smile at you!' 'Silly, isn't it,' she said, feeling her eyes start to water again. 'Look, I'm even crying now.' She searched in the pocket of her white jacket for a handkerchief and Peter came round the side of his desk to stand in front of her. 'Let's go and have a spot of lunch, Kate, and talk over Howard's offer.’ There isn't anything to talk about. I know you're right and I will do as you say.' 'That's great! But we can still have lunch and I'll put you in the picture about the job. You won't regret taking it. I'm sure of that.' CHAPTER TWO The train chugged steadily on .and, sitting alone in a first class carriage, empty since the last wayside stop, Kate stared out at the green fields and hoped she had not made a terrible mistake in coming here. But in all honesty, she knew she had not had much option, for Peter and his partners had insisted that the post was ideal for her.

'Someone will be meeting you off the train at Llanduff,' Peter had said when he had seen her off at Padding-ton, two weeks after first showing her the letter from Joshua Howard. ‘You make it all sound so easy.' 'It is easy. Just relax and let things happen.' But with the end of her destination in sight it was not as easy to be as sanguine as Peter had ordered, and she patted herself apprehensively to make sure she looked tidy. She wore a navy suit; its colour did not go well with her recent extreme pallor, but it made her look more severe and older, and for this reason she had chosen it. She had combed her hair firmly away from her face and tried to keep it flat by a neat blue hat, the most serviceable one she possessed. A plain white blouse completed the picture of efficiency which was partially belied by the delicate features of her face to which not even a firmly set expression could give severity. She glanced at her watch—five more minutes to go. The train was slowing down and fields were giving way to houses that straggled alongside the railway track. All round her they were hemmed in by low-lying hills, though in the distance they rose high, their sides partially wooded, their green melting into pinks and purples on the topmost slopes. She rose to take a final look at herself in the mirror and was nearly jerked off her feet as the train frame to a sudden stop. Hurriedly she fumbled at the door, anxious to give some sign that she was alighting before the train moved off again. Jumping down, she set her small case on the ground, then went back for her larger one. There was no porter to help. Indeed the entire station looked deserted. Kate squinted the length of the platform and noticed a man in the distance. He was lounging against a wooden bench, arms crossed as he looked at the train with a bored expression. There was a loud whistle from the engine and as if from nowhere, a porter appeared with a flag which he waved as the train slowly shunted out of the station. As it moved off so did Kate, making her way to where the' porter was standing. She came abreast of the man who was leaning against the bench and noticed that he was well-dressed in a grey suit of excellent cut He was younger and taller than she had expected, with darting brown eyes set in a narrow face. She was aware of his - head turning as she went past, though he did not speak until she was several yards beyond him. ‘Forgive me for asking you, but since you were the only passenger to get off the train, you wouldn't by any incredible chance be Dr Gibson?' Coolly Kate paused and looked at him. ‘Yes, I am.' ‘Incredible,’ he repeated, and reached out to take her cases. I’m Dermot Kane,' he said, nodding his head. 'Private assistant to Mr Howard.' Smiling a greeting, she followed him to the barrier where she gave her ticket to the porter, and thence across the cobbled yard to an opulent shooting brake. Her cases disappeared in the vast interior and she took her place in the front. Only as they drove off did her escort resume speaking, asking her if she had had a good Journey and whether she had ever been to Wales before. Behind his questions she sensed an excitement—as if his

mind was racing ahead to a more interesting situation— but she answered him prosaically, letting him know tills was the first time she had ever been to Wales. 'Is it always as quiet as this?’ she asked as they drove through the town of Llanduff which seemed to be deserted. 'It's the lunch hour. But the pubs are full.' They always are,’ she smiled, and looked with interest around her. The man slowed down to give her a better opportunity of doing so. It was a thoughtful gesture which she appreciated, even though there was not much to see beyond tidylooking shops—all with their doors closed—and a few dogs sunning themselves near a greengrocer's shop which, though also closed, still had its fruit invitingly on display. 'Aren't they worried about it being stolen?' she asked. ‘You'll find Dai eating his lunch with one eye on his black pudding and the other one on his blackcurrants!' She laughed. 'Do you know everyone by name?’ He grinned and shook his head. 'If you say Dai for a first name and Evans, Thomas or Lewis for a surname, you have more than a fifty per cent chance of getting it right!' She laughed again and felt herself relaxing. If Mr Howard was halfway as nice as his assistant, her stay here would not be as miserable as she had feared. 'How come you took a job like this?' her escort was speaking again. ‘Why shouldn't I?' ‘You don't seem the country type,' he said quickly and, she was sure, untruthfully. 'Don't Judge by appearances, Mr Kane. I like the country very much.' ‘Yet you’ve always worked in London?' ‘Only for four years,’ she said with a slight smile. I didn't qualify-until then.' ‘You must have been the youngest doctor ever.' I’m twenty-seven,’ she said composedly. ‘Is there anything else you would like to know?’ ‘Ouch!' He rubbed his shoulder as if to pain. That barb went home.’

I’m sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.' 'And I didn't mean to be curious,' he said, and Instantly shook his head. 'Darn it, that isn't true. Of course I'm curious why a girl like you wants to stick herself in a dump like this.' 'I can say the same about you.' I’m not here the whole time,' he informed her. There are three other factories in the group and I move between all of them. Llanduff is my base, though, for this is Where Mr Howard lives.' 'How long have you worked for him?' ‘Your years.' He smiled. 'Since you became a first class doctor.’ 'Such flattery,' she said dryly. ‘Not at all. When the boss employs anyone he always goes for the best!' Were there many applicants for the job?' she asked with a first stirring of interest. 'I was under the impression there weren't.' ‘Your other doctors tried for it,' the man said. This practice has been written up in several medical journals, you know. We have the lowest incident of absenteeism through illness in the whole industry.' 'And you put that down to good medicine?' 'I put it down to Mr Howard's excellent psychology. We are one big happy family here, Dr Gibson, as you will soon find out for yourself.' Once more he flung her a look that was half-mocking, convincing her that there was a hidden meaning behind his words. But if he was not prepared to tell her what it was, she was certainly not prepared to admit that she sensed anything, and she turned and stared through the window. The town had long since been left behind and they were driving through what Kate took to be an industrial estate, with one new factory after, another set in its own plot of land and surrounded by outbuildings and ear parks. Howard Engineering was the largest of them all, a vast complex of steel and concrete set amidst an ocean of motor bikes and cars. They swept past them to the main entrance where a huge copper sculpture stood some twenty yards in front of the wide glass doors. 'Like it?' Dermot Kane asked. I’m not sure.'

‘Mr Howard commissioned it and had it brought over from Italy. He's keen on all modem art.' Her curiosity was stirred, for an interest in modern art did not go with her idea of the head of an engineering concern. She wished she had asked Peter for more information about him, but somehow it had not seemed important. Her main concern had been the job itself, though even on this score Peter had been vague. ‘You will be housed by the company,’ he had said, 'and I gather you have an excellent consulting room and all mod. cons, in the factory itself.' 'Come on,' her escort said. ‘You can't keep the boss waiting.' Kate hurried after him. The entrance hall was quiet and antiseptically clean, more like the foyer of a modern clinic than an engineering factory. This block houses the directors and general staff,' Dermot Kane said, divining her thoughts. ‘The grime and the noise are behind this facade. The tool shops are in the building on your left.' ‘Where am I housed?' she asked. 'On the ground floor of this building.' Wouldn't it be more practicable if I had my rooms in the tool shop itself ?' ‘You'd find it too noisy and difficult to keep clean,' ‘What is made here?' she asked. ‘Many different things. At the moment we're tooled up to produce aeroplane parts for an American company. It was a big feather in our cap to get the commission. In Mr Howard's cap,' he added truthfully. 'It took him a year and fifteen visits to the States to get it.’ ‘He must be pleased with himself,' she commented. ‘Not that you'd notice. He never gives anything away emotionally. Good news or bad news, he's always the same.' He led her up shallow stairs to the first floor, where a long corridor was lined with offices. At the far end he ushered her into a fairly large office where two women sat at desks, one a young typist and the other middle-aged. 'Good morning, Mrs Prichard,' Dermot Kane said to the older one. 'The boss in ?'

‘Yes, he's expecting Dr Gibson. I thought you were supposed to be meeting him off the train?’ 'I was and I did.' He nodded in Kate's direction. ‘Dr Gibson, may I introduce you to Mr Howard's watchdog, though I hesitate to add that her bark is worse than her bite!' Mrs Prichard ignored the remark and instead stared at Kate with a mixture of dismay and astonishment. She glanced over her shoulder at the closed door behind her and then back to Kate. 'Just wait a moment, Dr Gibson, I'll tell Mr Howard you've arrived.' Barely opening the door wide enough to squeeze through, she disappeared into the inner sanctum and Kate, turning to look at the man beside her, intercepted him winking at the typist. ‘Mr Kane,' she said firmly, 'would you mind telling me what——-' ‘Mr Howard will. see you now, Dr Gibson,' .Mrs Prichard said, and cut Kate off in midsentence. Smiling her thanks, Kate walked into Mr Howard's office, hearing the door close behind her with a feeling of trepidation. Her first thought as she looked at the man who rose to greet her was that he was taller and bigger than any man she had met in her life. He was also considerably younger than she had expected, being in his late thirties, with firm but slightly heavy features and deep set, piercing dark eyes. He was swarthy-skinned as some Welshmen were, though in every other respect he did not look Welsh. More like a blackhaired Viking—if a person with such colouring could ever exist She found her hand enveloped by an enormous one, the grip firm without being bone-shattering, as might have been anticipated from its size. 'Sit down, please,' he said, his voice as incisive as his appearance. Without waiting for her to do so he resumed his own seat and leaned back in a vast black leather chair which he still managed to dwarf, clasping his hands together on the desk in front of him as he surveyed her. Determined not to be intimidated, Kate stared back at him, adopting a technique she had employed as a medical student when faced with her first oral: study the person in detail and they would lose their frightening aura. She did this now and saw the two heavy lines indented across the broad forehead; a spattering of grey flecked in the sides of his black hair and a crisp white shirt whose cuffs sported simple but beautifully designed links. Surprised by Dermot Kane's sophisticated appearance, she was even more surprised by that of his employer, for, envisaging that he would be an elderly, self-made business man, she found him to be considerably younger and more astringent. It was an odd word to come into her mind and she decided it had been put there by the anger quickening in his eyes and the firm set of his mouth which made his blunt jaw look even blunter. Something was wrong and she was pretty sure she was soon going to find out what. I’m afraid there has been some mistake about your appointment, Dr Gibson,' he said. 'Regrettably you have had a wasted journey.'

Kate swallowed hard. 'I have?' 'Naturally you will be reimbursed for any expenses you have incurred. Shall we say a month's salary? You may like to have a few days' holiday before rejoining Peter.' 'Rejoining Peter?' she echoed, and something in her tone made him narrow his eyes. ‘Peter Frisco,' he explained. 'I take it you will be returning there?' 'At the end of my time here, Mr Howard, not before. It is a group practice, as you may know, and they have already engaged someone to take my place during my absence.' ‘You mean you can't go back for six months?’ ‘Nine months, actually, ft was not anticipated that I would be free before then.' She perched forward on the edge of her chair, knowing that if she leaned back her feet would leave the ground. ‘Why was my coming here a mistake, Mr Howard?' He hesitated and lightly ran his hand down the side of his face. It was a large hand but well-shaped, with long fingers and well-tended nails. The wrist that extended from his cuff was thick with a faint smattering of black hairs on it. It was not the hand of an idle man but of one used to work, and though the skin was smooth she knew it would be hard to the touch, the way his grip had been; hard yet controlled. 'Please, Mr; Howard,' she repeated, 'I would like to know why my coming here was a mistake.' 'Because I didn't know you were a woman,' he said slowly. 'Peter forgot to mention when he wrote suggesting you for the position.' Kate was silent. Often during her training she had wondered what she would do if she was ever faced with such a circumstance, but always her mind had boggled at such an eventuality. In this enlightened era, she had told herself, no one would object to employing a woman doctor. Embarrassingly she was now being proved wrong. 'Perhaps Peter didn't realise you were prejudiced,' she said coolly. I’m not the one who is prejudiced, Dr Gibson. It’s my work people who will object to you. We employ eight hundred men here and only a handful of women.' I’m sure only a handful of men would object to a woman doctor,' she said, still cool. I’m afraid you're wrong. Most of the men we employ are natives of the area and not as sophisticated as those with whom you normally deal.' 'I don't work in a Mayfair practice, Mr Howard, but with ordinary people doing ordinary jobs, and I assure you I have never encountered any sexual prejudice.'

Then you've been extremely fortunate. I assure you the majority of men here would rather die than be attended by a lady doctor!' 'I hate the phrase lady doctor!' she stormed angrily. ‘Sexual gender doesn't come into it.' 'Not in an idyllic situation perhaps, but then situations are rarely as we would like them to be.' He leaned further back in his chair, tilting it slightly, his broad shoulders almost obliterating the back of it 'Come, Dr Gibson', I will recompense you for your time and I suggest you catch the next train back to London.' ‘You can't get rid of me as easily as that.' In the act of leaning forward to pick up his fountain pen, he remained motionless, as if not sure he had heard correctly. 'I think I have misunderstood you,’ he said in a quiet deep voice. ‘No, you haven't, Mr Howard. I said I have no intention of returning to London. I've signed a contract with you and I'm going to fulfil it.' Again his hand came up to stroke his cheek and heavy lids lowered to hide his eyes. Without the piercing brown glance his face became a grave mask, and the strength of his features was more apparent. There was a slight bump visible in his nose—as if it had been broken in a fight—and a similarly uneven look to his mouth, one side of it quirking up more than the other, though this might have been caused by his strong white teeth which were nibbling away at his lower lip. 'I take your point, Dr Gibson,' he said suddenly, and reached for his pen. 'I will write you out a cheque for the full amount—nine months.' ' He began to do so and she watched his gold pen making firm lines across a printed pink cheque. That isn't what I want at all,' she said loudly. ' Then what do you want?' The chance to complete what I've come here to do.’ 'I've already told you that it's out of the question.' 'I think you're wrong. When was the last time you employed a woman doctor here?' ‘We have never done so.' Then how do you know the men wouldn't accept me?'

‘Because I——-' With an angry gesture he pushed back his chair and rose, looming large in front of her and looking even larger because of the daylight streaming in from the window behind him. ‘We have never employed a woman doctor here because the men have always made it plain they wouldn't accept one. I agree with you that they're prejudiced and old-fashioned, but there is nothing I can do about it.' 'Of course there is!' she cried. ‘You can let me stay here.' That’s out of the question,' he said firmly. 'I know it's a blow to your pride, but——-' 'Pride has nothing to do with it. It's an insult to my ability as a doctor.' 'It has nothing to do with your ability as a doctor. I wish to terminate our agreement because you are a woman!' Anger flooded through her, so intense that she shook with it. Then you'll have to stand up in court and say so!’ 'I beg your pardon?’ Both of his eyebrows rose this time. ‘You may well have to beg my pardon,' she retorted. ‘You will probably have to give me a public apology too.' 'Are you saying you will take action against me if I —-don't let you stay here?' ‘Yes, Mr Howard.' Silently he turned back to his chair and sat down. Kate forced herself to meet his gaze and though she was still trembling inwardly from temper she remained defiant in front of him. I’m sorry you've taken this so personally,' he said in a voice far more gentle than she had heard since she had come into the room. 'I suggest we talk about it over lunch. You've had a long journey and I'm sure you are tired and hungry.' 'I am tired and angry, Mr Howard, and in no mood for a social lunch.' ‘Nonetheless a meal will do you good.' The smile he gave her was wide and deliberate and she knew he was consciously using his charm. She had half a mind to tell him he was wasting his time, but decided it might be better to let him think he was going to get away with his ridiculous suggestion that she return to London. Deliberately she echoed his smile. ‘Very well, Mr Howard, I will accept your invitation to lunch.'

He pressed a buzzer on his desk. 'I have a guest to lunch, Mrs Prichard. It will be in the private dining room.' He looked across at Kate. 'If you would care to have a wash, Mrs Prichard will show you where to go.' Kate nodded without smiling and went out of his office. She was already sorry for her flare of temper and, instead of trembling with anger, was bow trembling with fatigue, as she frequently did ia the past three months whenever she found herself under stress. What a mix-up this whole thing was I Had Peter deliberately omitted to tell Mr Howard she was a woman in the hope that once she was here he would forget his antipathy? If this were so, then Peter did not know Joshua Howard as well as he had purported, for even on a few moments' acquaintance she did not see him as a man who could lightly be talked out of any opinion he held. In the ladies' cloakroom she washed her face and applied fresh make-up, more heavyhanded with the lipstick in an effort to bolster up her flagging spirits. Her head was aching slightly and she took off her hat and' gently massaged her scalp. The gesture made her remember the fire and the pieces of masonry that had fallen on her as she had struggled out of the blazing building for the third time, -carrying a baby. Unfortunately it had been a wasted effort on her part, for the child was already dead, suffocated by the smoke. She shivered and, in the act of putting back her hat, took it off again and carefully combed her hair. She had washed it last night and it curled round her face, the ends slightly fairer than the rest. Anger had left her paler than usual and her eyes looked twice as large in her small pointed face. She knew her eyes were her best feature, not only because of their size but because of their unusual colour: smoky grey with a slightly darker edge round the iris, and thick curling eyelashes, doubly surprising when one considered how baby-fine her hair was. Behind her the door opened and Mrs Prichard stood on the threshold. 'Mr Howard is ready for you, Dr Gibson.' I’m ready for him too,' Kate said grimly and, walking past the secretary, was aware of the slight smile on the woman's face. ‘You know he doesn't want me to stay, don't you?' she said jerkily. 'Yes.' 'Does he always get his own way ?' 'He has done until now.' ‘Until now?' Kate caught at the words and, looking into the calm Hue eyes, felt they were telling her something. 'Maybe things will change from today. Thank you, Mrs Pilchard.’ 'Not at all, Doctor.'

Feeling that she had made a friend, Kate went back down the corridor to meet Joshua Howard. CHAPTER THREE Kate had never lunched in a directors' dining room and she was faintly amused by so many blue-suited men who all looked as though they had been cut from the same diestamp. Drinks were served and everyone stood around chatting idly until two buxom women in white aprons set out a row of covered entree dishes on the long buffet table that stood against one wall. Only then did Joshua Howard lead Kate into a small room off the main one. Three sides of it were made of glass and one felt as if one were on a ship's bridge. 'How unusual!' she exclaimed. 'It was built on as an afterthought,' her host said. 'It's an ideal place to bring someone if I want to lunch with them privately.' 'I should imagine your directors fight for an invitation to be asked in here.' He nodded, then gave her an oblique glance as he held out her chair. 'I take it you don't object to a little courtesy like this? Or does the emancipated female insist on total equality?' ‘ She refused to rise to the bait and took her place in silence. He sat opposite her and, as if he had given a signal, one of the women came in to serve them. The food was simple but excellent. Melon, steak or fish and a choice of several sweets, all washed down by a light but refreshing wine of which Kate only accepted one glass. ‘You're very abstemious, Dr Gibson,' Joshua Howard commented. 'A habit of my profession,' she said. ‘Most of the doctors I know drink quite heavily. They say they need it for relaxation.' ‘I understand you are a friend of Peter's brother?' 'And Peter too,-though I haven't seen either of them for nearly four months.' 'Do you go to London frequently?' 'I spend a day there on business every week but I don't get much time to socialise.' ‘You don't have a Welsh accent,’ she commented, 'or a Welsh name.'

My mother was an Elsie Llewellyn,' he smiled. ‘My father was Welsh too, but not as aggressively so.' He glanced over his shoulder and following his gaze she saw the gentle Welsh hills in the distance. 'I was born in Llanduff, Dr Gibson, in the house where my father and grandfather were born.' 'And where your children have obviously been born,’ she said. 'I only have a, daughter,’ he replied abruptly. She was annoyed for having spoken and resolutely returned to the subject at issue. 'Let us talk about my staying here, Mr Howard. That was the purpose of the lunch,’ 'It was,’ he agreed, ‘but now I've got to know you better I can't believe you would really make an issue of staying here.' 'I most certainly would!' The anger which she thought she had controlled successfully had risen again. Halfway through lunch she had decided it would be best to give in to his request, but in the face of his bland assumption that she would do as he said, her hackles rose once more. How dared he sit there like some massive godhead and tell her what to do? 'If you send me away, Mr Howard, you must be prepared for adverse publicity. Several newspapers would be delighted to make a story of it,’ 'Do you need publicity so badly, Dr Gibson?' ‘Do you?' she countered. ‘It’s the last thing in the world I want’ His answer surprised her, for, if it were true, she would have expected him to hide the fact. ‘I am being honest, Dr Gibson,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Publicity is the last thing I want at this particular moment. We have just signed a big contract with an American company and my competitors would like to put it in jeopardy. Even the sort of publicity that a case like yours would arouse might be just what they need to start trouble here.’ ‘How?’ she asked curiously. ‘By using it to try and create dissidence among the men.' She looked at him with a mixture of antipathy and admiration. ‘Your honesty with me is a clever tactic. You're hoping to persuade me to take pity on you.’

'I never expect pity from any woman, Dr Gibson, but I would have thought you capable of having some understanding.’ She flushed but stood her ground. Then it seems to me you have no option but to let me take up my post here. I know if's against your better judgment, but perhaps you are not infallible,’ 'Don't count on that,’ he said suavely, and reached over to pour the coffee which the waitress had left on a tray between them. He handled the small cups with ease, his hands looking immeasurably large as he picked Up a small spoon and helped himself to sugar. 'You give me no option but to bow to your ultimatum, Dr Gibson, though I warn you I will be watching for you to make one wrong step,’ 'And then you will dismiss me?' 'So fast it will make your head spin!' ‘Forewarned is forearmed,’ She spoke lightly but knew he meant his threat. She would have to watch her step. One complaint from a patient would be all he required to be rid of her. She drained her coffee, wondering if it was her bitter dislike of Mm that made it taste bitter, and set the cup down. ‘Now we have agreed that I remain here, Mr Howard, perhaps you will arrange for someone to show me to my quarters?' Wouldn't you like to see the surgery first?' That was what I meant,' she said in surprise. I’m sorry. When you said your quarters I thought, you were referring to where you will be living.' 'I assume I'll be in lodgings.' A look of irritation crossed Joshua Howard's face. 'Don't you read your correspondence, Dr Gibson?' She hesitated, unwilling to tell him that since the fire she had found it almost impossible to deal with any paperwork. It was as much as she could do to get through the correspondence relating to her patients and it was the fear that she might, one day, miss something important that had been one of her reasons for agreeing to Peter's suggestion that she took a less arduous job until she had recovered her mental stamina. ‘You will have about eight hundred men to care for,’ Peter had said, 'and a nurse to assist you. I doubt if you'll get more than a couple of dozen calls a day.'

'Mr Howard seems to be paying a high price for very little,' she had commented. ‘Don't tell him that until your job is over!' Peter had said, and laughingly she had agreed with him. Yet even the thought of only coping with a few dozen sack people was frightening. In the group practice there had always been the other doctors to fall back on when she had felt too ill or nervous to work. But here she was entirely alone. Had Peter realised this when he had suggested she come here? Her spoon rattled in her Saucer and she looked at it, surprised to see she was holding it and her fingers were trembling. She set it down and put her hands in her lap. Joshua Howard was still looking at her and she knew he was waiting for her to answer his question. Yet to tell him she knew nothing about this job other than the strictly medical work she was expected to do—would require her to explain why she had come here in the first place. Seeing his hard glance she knew such an explanation was impossible. So physical a man as Joshua Howard would only be likely to understand physical illness. The suffering that mental anguish could cause would be quite outside his appreciation. 'As Peter recommended the job,' she murmured, ‘he suggested I leave all the arrangements to him.' 'I'm surprised you didn't consider it a sign of weakness to do so.' 'I try to find advantages in being female, Mr Howard, and leave others to find the disadvantages.' He did not appear to appreciate the comment, nor did he ask if she wanted another cup of coffee, but stood up to indicate the lunch was over. 'I will have Dermot Kane show you around.' She nodded and walked beside him as they left 4he private dining room. The large one was already deserted and glancing at her watch she saw they had only been an hour at lunch. But obviously this was considered too long for the man beside her, for he had increased Ms stride as though he were impatient to return to his office. Unwilling to lag behind Mm, she half-ran to keep up with him and her breath was fast and shallow by the time he reached the end of the corridor. Expecting Mm to stop at his secretary's door, she barely stopped herself in time. As it was her arm brushed against his and she drew back sharply. Close to Mm she felt even smaller than usual and had to tilt her head back sharply in order to look into Ms face. He must be all of six foot three, she surmised, and had the build of a rugger player. No wonder he had felt he could ride rough-shod over her when he had seen her. He opened the door and beckoned her to go in ahead of him. She did so and Dermot Kane jumped up from a chair. He glanced from her to his employer and appeared to read the man's expression, for he gave Kate a faint smile.

'Show Dr Gibson where the surgery is,' Joshua Howard said abruptly, 'then take her and get her settled in the house.' ‘What house?' she asked, turning quickly to look at him. ‘Read your letters, Dr Gibson,' he said coldly. ‘You will find it all written there.' Colour came and went in her cheeks and without a word she walked out He really was the most insufferable man she had met! 'Don't let him rile you,' Dermot Kane said, falling into step beside her. 'If he knows he can get under your skin he'll do it all the more.' 'You mean he's a sadist as well as a bully?' Even as she spoke she knew how childish the words sounded. 'Don't take any notice of me, Mr Kane. I'm tired and in a bad mood.' 'It must be an ordeal taking up a new post.' 'It isn't easy,' she admitted. 'You knew Mr Howard would try to send me away, didn't you?' she continued. knew he hadn't realised you were a woman when he engaged you. You signed your letters K. Gibson. I spent quite a time wondering what it stood for. I finally came up with Kenneth. It never dawned on me it would be——-' He paused. 'What actually is it?' 'Kate.' Her look was still speculative. That's why you didn't recognise me when I got off the train this morning-' 'I was looking for a middle-aged man in tweeds!' 'It's Peter's fault,' she said crossly and, seeing Dermot Kane's questioning look, added: 'He's one of the partners in the group practice where I've been working. He knows Mr Howard personally. It was foolish of him not to warn me he was a woman-hater.’ 'Howard a woman-hater!' The young man stopped in his stride. ‘You've got to be joking.' ‘Then why did he want to get rid of me?' 'Only for the reasons he gave you. The company has never employed a woman doctor and most of the men won't like it.' 'I could wear a moustache.' 'On you it would look beautiful!' She laughed and, hearing the sound, knew it was the first time she had felt amused since she had arrived here. Somehow it did not augur well for the future and she wondered at her temerity in standing up to Joshua Howard. But she couldn't back down now, nor

would she give him the opportunity of dismissing her. She would not only have to tread carefully; she would have to tread with super care. The surgery was the most up-to-date Kate had seen since leaving hospital. It held everything an ambitious general practitioner could desire, plus several pieces of equipment one normally found in a hospital. ‘Mr Howard spares no expense to get the best,' she commented. 'He never does. That's his motto—in the long run the best is cheap.' She wondered if he applied this to everything in his life and knew a sharp curiosity to see his home and wife. Whatever she looked like, in character she would have to be docile, of that there was no doubt. Kate sat down at the desk and moved experimentally in the swivel chair. It was reassuring to see all the instruments around her and the examination couch with its red blanket folded neatly at one end. This was the world she knew and the people who came into it were ones she could help and feel a sense of relationship with; unlike the tough, incisive man with whom she had spent the last couple of hours. She would never be able to feel at home with him. 'At last you've come into your own,' Dermot Kane commented, and she whipped round in her chair to see him watching her. ‘You mean I now look like a doctor?' 'Still a most unlikely one. You're so fragile.' 'I wield a mean scalpel!' ‘Don't get your knife into me,' he said in mock alarm, and opened the door of the surgery. 'Come along, Mr Howard wants me to take you home and get you settled in.' 'I was under the impression I would be living in lodgings,' she said carefully. ‘Not unless you want to. You're taking over Dr Morris's house. He's the chap you're temporarily replacing.' 'I see. I had assumed he would still be living in his home.' 'He's convalescing in Australia by courtesy of Howard Engineering.' ‘Mr Howard is very generous.' ‘He is,' Dermot Kane replied. 'You'll find that out for yourself.'

Kate didn't think she would, but followed the young man to the entrance hall. 'I haven't yet met the nurse,' she said as they walked to the ear. 'I expect she's in the factory tending to some minor injury.' He held open the door of the station wagon and within a moment they were travelling through the trading estate towards the town. On the outskirts of it, in a crescent-shaped road whose front gardens looked on to a rectangular green and whose back gardens gave on to a view of the hills, the car came to a stop. The last house at the end,' Dermot Kane said, and Kate jumped out eagerly and looked at her home-to-be. It was one of a row of whitewashed houses, square and snug with prim little windows and a narrow blue-painted front door. 'It's beautiful,' she said with pleasure. There was no comment and she understood why, when she stepped into the hall, for the interior was dark and dingy and held the minimum of furniture? ‘Dr Morris seems to have gone in for brown,' she said, staring at the paintwork and the ugly brown armchairs. ‘He didn't bother much about his creature comforts,' Dermot Kane agreed, ‘but I'm sure Mr Howard won't have any objection to your changing things. If you give me a list of what you would like altered, I’ll put it in hand right away.' 'No, thanks,' she said hastily, unwilling to be beholden to Joshua Howard for any favours. 'It's no bother,' came the reply. 'I'm here to see you are comfortably settled.' 'I'm sure I can manage,' she said firmly. 'After all, this is Dr Morris's home and I wouldn't dream of changing it.’ ‘We wouldn't sell his stuff,' Dermot Kane smiled. ‘Only just put it into storage for him. It isn't very feminine,' he added, looking around. 'I suggest you go into Burman's at the weekend. It's the best store in Llanduff and they have a surprisingly good collection of furniture and fabrics. Order what you like and——-' 'No, thank you,’ she said firmly. He shrugged. 'Well, if you change your mind, just go right ahead and do so. Incidentally, you have permission to drive Dr Morris's car. In fact he insisted on it. It won't do it any good to stand idly in the garage.' 'I was going to ask about transport,' she said-with a sigh of relief, ‘but I never expected anything as grand as a car. I thought I'd have to manage with a bike.'

He chuckled. 'It's a nice little Triumph.' 'Aptly named for me,' she said dryly, and was rewarded by another chuckle. 'I think you'll find enough food in the larder for today,' the young man continued, 'though you'll probably need to fill it up. The shops have nearly everything you can get in London except the more exotic type of vegetables. For those you'll have to go to Cardiff.’ 'Do you live near here?’ she asked curiously. 'About five minutes' drive away. I'm in digs with a Mrs Hughes.' ‘I should think nothing is more than five minutes away from anything else in Llanduff,' she commented. The town isn't as small as it looks. There's a new shopping section on the far side which you didn't see as we drove through, and quite a big. housing estate too. Then there's the Howard Estate where most of the employees live.' He went to the window and pointed across the green to rows of chimneys, like a pink smudge on the skyline. That's it,' he said. 'Five hundred houses-enough for most of the married workers.' 'Within walking distance of me,' she commented. 'I'm surprised Dr Morris didn't have a surgery here too.' There's a small one set up at the back of the house but it's nothing like the one at the factory.' 'Do show me,' she said eagerly, and followed him through the small kitchen to the back garden. Here a onetime conservatory had been made into a waiting room and surgery. The rooms were’ small but adequate for their requirements, and she decided that once she had established a routine for herself at the factory she would start to have consulting hours here too. 'Did many of the men come to see Dr Morris here?' she asked. They mostly saw him in the factory. He intended this set-up to be used by the wives and children. But I gather the experiment didn't’ turn out successfully and after a few months he said he didn't get enough patients to make it worthwhile to open.' Kate refused to let this information depress her into changing her plans. With Dermot Kane beside her she returned to the house. It realty was exceptionally dreary and cold. She shivered and he saw it. There's central heating here,' he said, ‘but it works, from a boiler.' He looked at the small coal stove that stood in the comer of the kitchen. ‘I’ll get it going for you.' ‘Please don't worry,' she said more cheerfully than she did. 'I'll go out for a snack tonight and then see about settling in properly during the weekend.'

‘What's wrong with tomorrow?' ‘I rather assumed I would be expected to start work then.' ‘Mr Howard doesn't expect you to start until Monday. The idea of you coming down mid-week was to give you a chance to settle in.' 'I won't need all that time to get settled in,' she said positively. ‘I’ll be at the factory first thing in the morning. They start at eight, don't they?' ‘Dr Morris didn't begin Until nine. Nine to eleven, three to five. The rest of the time he Went out on visits.’ Kate felt that her predecessor had not overworked himself. If he only had to deal with the men—since according-to Dermot Kane the women had not utilized his services—he should have had a great deal of spare time. 'I will keep the same hours to begin with,’ she said, 'and increase them if——' She stopped, unwilling to say more lest it be considered a criticism of the man whose place she was taking. But when Dermot Kane left, having given her his phone number and enjoined her to call him should she feel in need of company or require any help, she thought there were many things about this job which she intended to alter. First would be to set up surgery hours in the house. It seemed nonsense that the work force could only consult a doctor during working hours, and she found it surprising that Howard himself, who seemed the picture of efficiency, had not suggested that some of the doctor's surgery time should be in the evenings or at weekends, thus giving the men a chance to consult him in their free time. Leaving the dismal sitting room, she went up to her bedroom and unpacked her things, setting out a few personal belongings around the room. There was a faded photograph of her parents, whom she barely remembered, since they had died when she was six, and a small colour photograph of her Aunt Mary, her mother's twin sister who had brought her up from that time and with whom she had lived until the woman’s death two years ago. As always when she thought of her aunt, Kate was both happy and sad. Happy that the woman had lived to see her succeed in her ambition to become a doctor and sad that, after all the years of scrimping and saving to help pay towards her keep at medical school, she had died before Kate had been able to repay her for all the sacrifices made. True, the first thing she had done when she had joined the group practice was to move with her aunt to a spacious flat in an old house near Regents Park, which had enabled her aunt to enjoy the sight of trees and grass which their previous dingy flat in Paddington had not afforded them. How Aunt Mary would have loved this house had she been able to come and share it with her! In next to no time she would have transformed it into a home. Kate herself would have done the same had she moved here six months ago, but now she was too weary and anxious only to conserve her strength for her work.

Her unpacking done, she went down to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. The larder held only a packet of tea, a jar of coffee, some dried milk and a box of stale biscuits. It seemed odd that Joshua Howard had not made more welcoming arrangements for his new doctor, but hard on this thought came the realisation that, expecting a man, he had probably assumed she would be coming with a housekeeper or a wife. She thought of her own flat in London—sub-let to the doctor who had taken her place in the group practice; a nice young man who was obviously hoping she would like Wales so much that She would want to ‘settle there. Carrying her coffee into the sitting room, she sat on one of the straight-backed leather chairs and had to resist the urge to pack her bags and return to London forthwith. Only the knowledge that by so doing she would be playing into Joshua Howard's hands kept her where she was. He wanted her to find things too uncomfortable to stay. Well, he had a lot to learn about her. She might look frail and she might even feel it, but she had a deep core of obstinacy which she would call upon in lieu of strength. 'You engaged Dr Gibson and Dr Gibson you are going to have,' she said aloud, almost as if he was present to hear her. 'So put that in your pipe and smoke it, instead of your expensive Havana cigar!' CHAPTER FOUR On Friday morning Kate awoke before her alarm, which she had set for seven. The bedroom was cold and, shivering despite a warm dressing gown, she went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. At seven-thirty she was driving carefully towards the factory in Dr Morris's car and, not sure if she had a special parking bay, left it in the general car park which was already stacked with vehicles. As the eight o'clock whistle blew she was in her surgery, trim and efficient in a white jacket above a pencil-slim navy skirt. Nervousness had made her hair curlier than usual and though she had tried to brush it back from her face, several ends curled obstinately forward, giving her a faintly cherubic look which annoyed her. Though she rarely wore make-up when working she had darkened her eyebrows and put on lipstick, not only to give herself confidence but in the hope that it made her look more sophisticated. A wasted gesture, she mused, as she regarded herself in the shining front of a glass instrument cabinet that stood to the left of her desk. She had not yet seen the nurse who would be working with her and hoped she would not turn out to be some starchy elderly woman who would make her feel an interloper. Her first sight of Nurse Evans reassured her on this point, for though the woman was no longer young, she was plump and cheerful-looking. She was also delighted to be working with a woman and left Kate in no doubt that her arrival was both timely and welcome, though she admitted she was not sure how the men would react. Diplomatically Kate refrained from telling Nurse Evans that Mr Howard had wanted to send her back to London, for the nurse's comment made her appreciate that the man was not as biased as she had believed, but had said what he did from genuine belief and not prejudice. For this reason she waited nervously for her first? patient to arrive, steeling

herself for his look of surprise and warning herself too, that he might turn on his heels and walk out. The count-down has begun,' said Nurse Evans, popping her head round the consulting room door to give Kate a reassuring smile. Three men have just come in. Two Joneses— not related—and Thomas Thomas. He's a malingerer. Dr Morris generally gave him placebos. I have a stack of them in different colours if you're of a mind to do the same.’ Kate shrugged, unwilling at this stage to enter into medical subterfuge with the nurse. She had no intention of giving placebos to anyone without first trying to get to the root cause of why someone should pretend to be ill when they weren't. The door opened and the first patient came in. He stopped as he saw Kate and she gave him a cool smile and pointed to the chair beside her desk. She was more brisk than usual as though to show that though she looked soft and feminine she was anything but, and it was only when the man was on his way out, a prescription in hand, that she prompted herself to smile at him, gratified when he gave her a cheery grin in response. The second man was equally surprised to see her and, being talkative, said how astonished all the men would be to have a woman replace Dr Morris. 'Lots of them won't come to you,’ he said. ‘They'd be too embarrassed.' They have no need to be. What about all the women who go to men doctors?’ ‘That’s different.' ‘In what way?' The man shrugged. ‘You've got me there, Doctor. All I know is that a lot of the men won't be coming in.' ‘That won't send me away.' I’m glad to hear it,' he smiled, breathing in deeply and holding his breath as she placed a stethoscope on his back. ‘You can put on your shirt,' she said, returning to her desk. 'I would like to have your chest X-rayed.' 'Dr Morris used to do that here.' The kind I want can only be done in hospital.' There's nothing seriously wrong with me, is there, Doctor?' the man asked apprehensively.

Kate shook her head reassuringly. 'Nothing that can't be put right. So don't worry.' 'I'm not worried,' the man said. I’m sure you know what you're doing.' He went out and she waited expectantly for the malingerer to appear. He had obviously been warned what to expect and made no comment on the fact that she was a woman.' Kate examined him carefully and, as Nurse. Evans had said, found nothing wrong with him. — ‘What are you suffering from, Mr Thomas?’ she asked. Happily he went into a long dissertation as to his many ailments and Kate kept an attentive look on her face and remained silent. Mr Thomas believed himself to be suffering from a malady so rare to mankind that no specialist had yet succeeded in discovering what it was. But he suffered from it, oh my, how he suffered! 'It's no good giving me aspirin and expecting the pain to go,' he concluded. 'I need something more than that.' 'Indeed you do,' Kate agreed, 'and I have just the thing. Some new pills have just come on to the market, very expensive and not generally prescribed under the National Health, but luckily that doesn't bother us here.' ‘I'll get Nurse Evans to supply you with twenty and you should take one a day and come and see me when you've finished them.' ‘What are they?' he asked. 'A new type of multi-vitamin,' Kate said, hoping the man did not realise she was talking nonsense. The pills have to be taken each day at the same time. That is most important.' 'What happens if they don't work? I'm-a hard case to cure,’ 'One must not be pessimistic, Mr Thomas.' 'If you suffered the way I do, you'd also be pessimistic.' Pocketing the prescription, he made his way to Nurse Evans who was waiting in the dispensary. By this time several more patients were in the waiting room and Kate popped her head round the door to-see them for herself. Some half-dozen pairs of eyes returned her-gaze and as she motioned the man nearest her to follow her into the surgery, she saw one of the men walk out with an angry mutter. However, It was after eleven-thirty before Nurse Evans was able to lock the waiting room door and tell her there were two house calls to be made. 'I took them while you were in surgery. Dr Morris never liked to be disturbed when he was with a patient, but I'm not sure how you feel about it.'

‘I’ll leave it to your discretion,' Kate said. 'If you think it's urgent, I'll talk to them, otherwise I'll call them back.' She took the list from the nurse's hand and looked at the two addresses on it. 'I don't suppose there's an A to Z of the district?' she asked. I’m afraid not, but both these calls are on the Howard Estate, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding them.' Kate set out at once. True to the nurse's belief she found the addresses easily. One man had flu and the other bronchitis, and though neither call was strictly necessary she was glad she did than, for it enabled hear to meet a couple of the wives. They were both in their thirties with children, and both disposed to chat which gave Kate the opportunity of saying she was going to start a daily evening surgery at her house. The first woman seemed pleased at the prospect but the second one was non-committal, which disappointed Kate, for it seemed as if the wives were as conservative as their men folk when it came to accepting a woman doctor. It was one o'clock before she returned to the factory. She had meant to ask Nurse Evans where she was expected to have lunch and hoped she did not have to put i4 an appearance in the directors' dining room. The prospect of seeing Joshua Howard each day would give her indigestion. She was crossing the foyer when Dermot Kane emerged from a corridor and hailed her. 'Off to lunch, Dr Gibson?' She nodded. 'Perhaps you can tell me where the canteen is.' Directors' dining room for you,’ he smiled, 'or one of the tables in the canteen annexe.' ‘What's that?' 'It's a room off the main canteen where the managerial staff generally eat. It has the same food as the canteen but with a bit more privacy.' That sounds the place for me.' ‘Mr Howard will be expecting you in the dining room. Our doctors generally lunch there.' This one won't. I think it will be good for the men to get a chance of seeing me.' ‘Won't you be embarrassed by so many male eyes ?' 'I shall relish it,' she lied. 'Now if you can direct me where to go.' 'I'll do more than that; I'll join you there for lunch.'

That sounds lovely,' she said, and meant it, for she had dreaded the thought of entering the canteen alone. As Dermot Kane had foreseen, there was a definite lessening of noise as she walked down the centre aisle of the canteen to the small room at the far end. Here, several tables were laid for lunch and a couple of women served the food. Though it did not compare with what she had eaten yesterday, it was well cooked and tasty, and cheap too, as she found when she went to pay for it. ‘I’ll do that,' Dermot Kane protested, but she would not let him arid insisted on paying for herself. 'Another sign of emancipation?' he questioned. 'A reluctance to be a drain on your financial resources!’ ‘With the prices they charge here I could feed you twice daily. You're only insisting that you pay for yourself in order to assert your independence. Not that I blame you. I would probably do the same in your position.' ‘Would you have done the same as me yesterday?' She saw his hesitation and said quickly: ‘Forget it. It wasn't diplomatic of me to ask you.' 'I'm no diplomat,' he replied. 'And to answer your question, then I think it would have to be no.' He saw her look of disappointment. 'It isn't because I don't think you were right, but because I would never try to get the better of Mr Howard.' 'I don't want to get the better of him.' 'But you are determined to show him you can hold down this position.' 'Naturally. I believe that given time, the majority of the men will come to me. Don't you think they will, Mr Kane?' 'I don't know, but do call me Dermot, because 1 have every intention of calling you Kate.' His eyes twinkled at her. 'You're not a bit like a Kate, are you?' 'Like what Kate ?' she smiled. 'Shakespeare's Kate, of course.' ‘I don’t see you as Petruchio either,’ she said dryly. ‘Fair comment.' 'Sorry,' she smiled. 'But you have to admit that your comment wasn't very original.' ‘You mean other men have made it!' he said in mock disbelief.’

'So often that at one time I used to apologise for not being a shrew!' He laughed outright. ‘You might not be tall and dark as Shakespeare's Kate, but I bet you can be equally determined.' 'If I Believe in something enough,' she agreed. The way I believe I should stay here now and prove Mr Howard wrong.' The arrival of a waitress with their coffee prevented Dermot from replying, and when they were alone again Kate changed the subject, reluctant for him to think she continually wished to talk about her employer. But it was hard not to do so when the personality of the man permeated everything around her. ‘How have you settled into the house?' Dermot broke into her thoughts. The bed was comfortable,' she replied, ‘but I shall have to learn how to cope with the boiler. I was so cold this morning that I woke up at the crack of dawn,’ He gave an exclamation. 'I meant to have one of the men come over and explain its mysteries to you. I'll put it in hand right away.' There's no heed to bother, I'm sure it's quite an ordinary boiler. It's just a matter of my giving it a good clean out and then feeding it with coke.' ‘You do sound domesticated!' he observed. ‘I used to be.' ‘Why the past tense?’ She pretended not to hear the question, for it was hard to make a layman understand that her lack of energy was reaction from shock. Yet immediately after the fire— when she had woken up in hospital with mild concussion and bums—she had felt surprisingly well. It was only a few weeks later, when she was convalescing, that she began to have terrible nightmares, feeling her body licked by flames; dragging out people from a furnace only to have them turn into sawdust-filled dolls the moment she-got them to safety. The nightmares became so bad that on many occasions she would try not to fall asleep. It was about this time that she found her energy failing so badly that it was an unbearable effort even to get up in the morning. Depression due to shock, had been the diagnosis, and she had taken the recommended pills and waited patiently for them to work. Yet though they cured the depression they did not cure the general lethargy, and discussion with a specialist eminent in this field had made it clear that though she could be given pills to make her buoyant and tranquillisers to make her sleep, the best cure of all was time.

Time and a change of scene,' the man had said. ‘Why not become a ship's doctor for a bit?' 'I get nausea when I see a film about the sea!’ I’m sure there are other jobs you could get that would take you away from your practice for a while.' 'It's my practice that is keeping me sane,’ she had replied, and had returned to work convinced she was right and the specialist wrong. But the months had passed without any improvement, and when Peter had told her of this job with Howard Engineering it had seemed as though fate had given her another chance to change bar mind. So here she was working a milieu where she felt a total stranger among total strangers. Perhaps this was what she needed, for strangers made no demands and even an empty house that belonged to someone else could be lived in without making her feel guilty because she did not want to turn it into a home. She looked at her hands. The burn marks were only faintly visible and would disappear completely with time. It was hard to believe that four months ago those hands had loved to cook and clean. 'I prefer studying patients to cookery books,' she said, remembering she had not yet answered his question. Then you'll have to marry a domesticated man.' 'I might not marry at all.' 'I thought all women wanted a husband and children.' 'I haven't given it that much thought. I was too busy qualifying.' ‘Were the medical students blind?' They had seeing hands!' she laughed. 'I refuse to believe there's been no romance in your life. You're far too pretty.' She was startled. 'I've never considered myself that.' Hankering to be the tall dark Kate after all?' She applauded his quickness of mind. 'I would like to be five inches taller,' she admitted, 'and not quite so mousy in colouring.' ‘How harsh you are with yourself,' he said at once. 'I would describe you as a delectable streaky blonde with fantastic eyes.' Hurriedly she said: ‘My mother had them.' With those fascinating dark rings around the grey?'

She nodded. 'It's the only thing about myself that I like.' 'I can see I shall have to take you in hand.' Dermot leaned forward. 'How about beginning tonight? I bet you haven't added to your larder since yesterday.' 'I haven't given it a thought.' 'And it's early closing day, so you won't even have a chance of going out to do any shopping. I will pick you up at eight and take you to dinner.' She did not wish to refuse in case he thought she was being unfriendly, for she needed all the friends she could get while she was here and Dermot was the person likely to lead her to them. 'Very well,' she agreed. 'Eight o'clock.' Afternoon surgery was very quiet, with only one man coming in to have a prescription renewed. Kate was so disappointed that she nearly rang up Dermot to say she could not see him, and her hand was on the receiver when she took it away. It was because she was disappointed that it would do her good to get out. 'Do you want me to keep the waiting room open after five?' Nurse Evans inquired. 'No, I'm not going to tout for patients.' 'Give them time to get used to you.' Nurse Evans closed the waiting room door and locked it. ‘You're bound to get emergencies, though, and once you deal successfully with them, word of mouth will do the rest.' Kate thought it harsh that after four years in general practice she should have to wait for emergencies to prove she was a capable doctor, but since this only gave more weight to Joshua Howard's advice that she return to London, she put it from her mind. When she reached the car park it was nearly deserted and as she walked towards the small blue Triumph the noise of a throaty engine behind her made her turn. It was a silver-grey Porsche, small and powerful, and as it drew abreast of her and slowed, she recognised Joshua Howard at the wheel. 'Good evening, Dr Gibson.' His voice was deeper than she remembered, with a purr in it like the hum of the engine he was driving. ‘Had a busy day?' Knowing she was not imagining the glint in the dark brown eyes, so deep set that they looked almost black, she held back a sharp retort. 'It was a quiet day, Mr Howard, as I expected it to be. You are not the only one who is prejudiced.' 'But you will overcome it?' he said suavely.

‘I hope so.' She continued to walk away, conscious of the car deliberately keeping pace with her. ‘If there is anything you need,' he called through the open window, 'ask Dermot.' ‘You're very kind, Mr Howard.' With a curt nod he gathered speed and shot forward, leaving her to make her way to the Triumph with legs that were unexpectedly shaky. The man's sardonic attitude was even more pronounced today than it had been yesterday, and her earlier belief that his dislike of women doctors had nothing to do with an anti-feminist attitude began to waver. He might not be a woman-hater—as a married man he obviously wasn't—but he certainly acted as if he believed a woman should be kept in her place and this, she was sure, was the home. Irritation with him prompted her to dress with more care than she would have normally given for her evening with Dermot, and though she was not sure how smart people were in the country, she decided that since she was a Londoner she would dress like it, regardless. To this end she donned a long skirt of fine cashmere in a variegated pattern of lilac and grey, and a lilac blouse. It emphasised the blonde streaks in her hair and did wonders for her eyes, making them look so large and theatrical that she regretted the mascara she had put on her lashes. She was considering whether to wash it off when the bell rang and she went down to let Dermot in. He wore a dark suit and had the look of a well-scrubbed schoolboy, which made her feel years older than him. But if he were Joshua Howard's private assistant he ' couldn't be all that young. 'You look very lovely,' he said when they were driving away from the house. Thank you. I wasn't sure if long dresses were worn in the country.' 'Fashion permeates everywhere these days. We even have a French restaurant in Llanduff!' 'Is that where we're going?' He nodded. 'It's a club, actually. Most of the county types hang out there. Horsy but nice.' ‘I’m in the mood where I'm ready to like everyone,' she smiled. ‘The work getting you down?' ‘The lack of it. I must do something to cheer myself up.' 'Cheer the house up first,' he advised. 'Let’s go shopping on Saturday.'

‘I’ll think about it.' Kate concentrated on the passing scenery. 'It's very pretty round here. I suppose there are some lovely places to walk?' 'And to climb. Llanduff is set in a valley. That means if's always slightly colder here than in the outlying districts. Mr Howard lives five miles out of town,' he added inconsequentially. ‘What is his house like?' she asked, feeling it to be justifiable curiosity. 'He said his grandfather was born there, so I assume it's old.' 'Old and beautiful. A sixteenth-century manor house surrounded by about fifty acres of land. But you'll be seeing it for yourself.' Kate was about to say she doubted it when Dermot informed her that the annual staff party was always held in the garden. 'How old is his daughter?' she asked. 'Janey is ten. She's a sweet child and suffers from asthma.’ ‘What is Mrs Howard like?' 'Charming.'' ‘What did you do before you worked for the company?' Kate asked, anxious to change the subject. 'I was with Mr Howard's biggest rival. He bought me away from them.' It seemed a gesture typical of the man and though she did not say so the look on her face gave her away. ‘Mr Howard likes the best,' Dermot said modestly, 'and he felt that I was!' ‘The best what?' ‘Troubleshooter.’ 'I was under the impression that Mr Howard didn’t have any troubles. That his factory was a model of the way factories should be run ?' 'So it is. I mean trouble with his rivals. It's my job to keep pace with what they're doing and to prevent them finding out what we are doing. You'd be amazed at the amount of double-dealing that goes on in industry.'

'Then amaze me,' she said. I’m so ignorant about business I think it's time I learned something about it.' 'You've come to the right person,’ he said happily. 'But don't blame me if I bend your ear back. Once I get started on the subject I never know when to stop.' They had reached a rustic arch set back off the grass verge and Dermot drove the car through it and parked in front of a gabled country house. Expecting something brash and modem, Kate was pleasantly surprised and liked the chintzy interior. The dining room was discreetly lit by candles that shot a pale lemon glow over snowy white linen. If the food was as good as the atmosphere then she was in for an enjoyable evening. Her hopes were not unfounded, for the meal was excellent and the service efficient. 'I never expected to find a .place like this in Llanduff,' she commented. There's another one similar to it a few miles down the road. If you go to them frequently enough you'll meet everyone who's anyone in the district.' 'I suppose in time that could become tedious. If's one of the drawbacks to living in a small town.' 'One gets used to it. 'I never thought I would settle down here but when I go to London now, I can't wait to get back.' 'Yet you still live in lodgings?' ‘Wait till you meet my Mrs Hughes. She looks after me as if I were her son—with the added advantage that she doesn't watch over me like a mother!' Kate laughed and Dermot looked at her appreciatively. ‘Do you know you're beautiful when you smile?’ 'I might get you to put that in writing so I can read it on my miserable days.' 'I don't believe you have miserable days. Yon look far too sane for that.' She bit back a sigh, knowing he would Und it difficult to believe that in the last three months there had been days when her mood had been one of black despair. But she must not think about it. She was embarking on a new Me and the past had to be forgotten, at least until she could think of it without the distortion of fear. 'If you're so worried about finding small towns claustrophobic, how come you elected to settle here?' Dermot's question was valid, but she was still reluctant to tell him the truth. To do so might make her sound as if she were touting for sympathy.

'I wanted a change,' she fibbed. 'I've always worked in London and—and before I made up my mind whether or not to settle permanently into a group practice, I decided to give myself a trial period in something more intimate.' 'I'd hardly call taking care of eight hundred lumbering men intimate!' ' 'In London we had nine thousand patients.' 'But more than one doctor, surely?' 'Of course. But we still had to work extremely hard.' 'Have you never wanted to specialise?' She nodded.'-'I believe many illnesses are psychosomatic in origin, and I would like to study it in depth. In a smaller practice I'll have more chance to do so.' ‘I can't see our men suffering from psychosomatic illness—malingering more likely!' That's an illness too.' ‘I don't let Mr Howard hear you say that I think he mollycoddles his staff to a ridiculousdegree, but he hasn't yet jumped on the American bandwagon of declaring ninety per cent of our troubles to be due to deprivation at our mothers' breasts!' She gave a slight smile. I'd better stay off the subject of Freud with you.' 'I can think of far mote interesting subjects we can talk about.' The smile he gave her was warm, and relaxing after a good meal and excellent wine, she was able to see him with fresh .eyes. He was young, attractive and good, company. She could do far worse than to encourage him. I’m glad you came here, Kate,’ he went on. 'I don't think it's a move you will regret.' ‘I hope not,' she said, and thought of the overpowering man to whom she was finally answerable. Joshua Howard regretted her coming here and made it plain that he would do everything in his power to be rid of her. One false step, he had said. Well, she was going to tread very carefully indeed. CHAPTER FIVE Kate's surgery the next day was as empty as it had been the day before and, despite Nurse Evans's assurances that the men would accept a woman doctor, given time, Kate was anything but sanguine. Indeed the thought of accepting Dermot's offer to go into town on Saturday and buy some things for the house seemed childishly optimistic, and she

decided it would be wiser to delay spending company’ money until she knew whether or not she would be staying on conceding that Joshua Howard was right after all. She went to the canteen early for her lunch and had already finished by the time Dermot and the other managerial members of the staff came in. She was asked to stay and have coffee with them, but she pretended she was busy and, returning to the surgery, shut herself in her room. She had always complained at not having enough time to catch up on her medical reading and now seemed as good a time as any to do it, though it gave her a guilty feeling to be reading in the middle of the day when she felt she should be doing something-more active. Afternoon surgery was a repetition of the morning, with only two men coming in to have prescriptions renewed, but at five o'clock—after the whistle had sounded and the car park began to empty—Kate received a call from an agitated woman who could not retrieve a bead which her child had stuffed down its ear. 'Our own doctor's on holiday,' the woman explained, 'and I can't get hold of the one who's standing in for him. I know you're the doctor in the factory and—-‘ Interrupting the flow of words Kate managed to get the woman's address and said she would be therein ten minutes. She was better than her word and, with a minute to spare, was walking up the path of a neat little semidetached. She was met by a frightened mother and her hysterical child and it took a while to calm both of them sufficiently for her to try and extricate the bead. It was solidly lodged. But the old-fashioned remedy of olive oil helped her to extricate it, after which she took a piece of paper from her bag and drew a ample picture of an ear to show the child what had happened, at the same time explaining in simple terms what a wonderful hearing apparatus the ear was, and how one must safeguard it. ‘You were wonderful with Caroline,' the woman said as she went with Kate to the front door. I’m ever so grateful you came.' I’m delighted I could help you,' Kate smiled. 'I don't just look after the men at the factory, you know; I'm also available to their families.’ 'I know, and I did go to see Dr Morris a few times, but I never took to him. He wasn't the sort of man you could talk to.' Unwilling to enter into criticism of another doctor, Kate answered the women yet again that she was available at any time and drove off, conscious of having made a favourable impact and hoping something good might develop from it; Yet if she had to rely on word of mouth before patients started to come to her she might be as old as Methuselah before she had sufficient work to do; and the one thing she knew for certain was that she could not continue to go on being idle for much longer.

It was too late to return to the factory and she went straight home. Only as she parked her car did she notice the silver-grey Porsche a few yards down the road. Joshua Howard must be visiting one of her neighbours. Fervently hoping he would not take it into his head to call and see her at the same time, she hurried up the path to her front door, afraid lest he come out of one of the other housed and see her. As she closed the door behind her she gave a sigh of relief and went into the sitting room. Here the relief gave way to incredulity as she stared at the tall, black-haired man bent over the desk in the far corner. ‘What on earth are you doing here?' she demanded. Though he had obviously heard her come in, it was only as she spoke that he turned in her direction, his thick eyebrows drawn together in a frown. 'I gave Dr Morris a report that had been, done on factory conditions and he went off without returning it to me. I need it urgently tonight, so———' 'If you had rung me, I would have looked it out for you.' ‘I did telephone you, but you'd already gone out on a call. As I had a key to the house it seemed simpler for me to come in and get it myself.' 'Do you normally walk uninvited into other people's homes?' she asked crossly. ‘This is a company house,’ he said mildly. 'I didn't consider I was trespassing.' ‘That is exactly what you are doing!' Anger destroyed her discretion. The house may be your property, but while I'm living here it belongs to me and you have no right whatever to enter it without being asked.' Grey eyes clashed with black ones. The wide, thin-lipped mouth tightened and the soft pink one moved tremulously. Then the man stepped away from the desk, his massive shoulders almost obliterating the window behind him. 'I'm sorry, Dr Gibson,' he said in a voice that was deeper than usual. 'You're quite right, and had I paused to think about it I would never have barged in like this.' A slight smile lightened his features. 'I could have caught you in a state of d£shabill6 or something more embarrassing ! But that's what comes from living too long surrounded by men. One tends to forget the feminine niceties.’ She was in no way mollified. That isn't very complimentary to your wife.' His head tilted back and he seemed to tower above her, making her more conscious of his height and strong build. 'I have no wife, Dr Gibson. She died six years ago.' Aghast, Kate stared at him, and feeing her discomfiture he took pity on it.

'Don't look so upset. You haven't committed cardinal sin in not knowing.' He glanced back at the desk and she knew he had not yet found the papers he had come 'As you are here you might as well get what you want,' she said slowly, and went across the hall to the kitchen. She half filled the kettle and put it on the gas stove, then took out a cup and saucer and the coffee jar. She had forgotten to buy any milk and still did not know whether it was delivered. She really must talk to her neighbours and find out. It was odd that they had not come in to see her. In a small town one expected that neighbourliness. It was something she had subconsciously looked forward to receiving. But then nothing in Llanduff had turned out the way she had anticipated. Sighing, she spooned coffee into the cup and was turning to put the tin away when she saw Joshua Howard watching her from the doorway. He diminished it with his size the way he did the entire house, making it look Lilliputian. As if he had picked up her thought he said: 'You're a slip of a thing to be a doctor.' 'It's brain power that counts, not muscle power.' ‘You still look as if you should be engaged in more light-hearted pursuits than mending broken bones and curing chickenpox.' 'I can't see your workmen coming down with chicken-pox.' ‘You know what I mean.' ‘You're^ making it very clear, Mr Howard. judge the contents of a book by its cover!' He took the retort in good part and advanced into the room. She saw him glance at her coffee and hastily asked if he wanted one. At his nod she got out another cup and saucer. 'It isn't percolated coffee,’ she apologised, 'I don't have any milk either.' Then I'll skip it entirely. I've never cultivated a habit for taking it black.' The Welsh are tea-drinkers, aren't they?' She was nervous and tried to make conversation. After all, he was her employer—albeit an unwilling one—and it seemed politic to be polite. 'Yes, we're great tea-lovers,' he said, 'and home-lovers too. It's a throwback to the past when we were hemmed in by the mountains and turned our homes into our world.' He glanced round the dingy kitchen. 'I suppose medicine interests you more than domesticity?' 'I like both.'

His look was sceptical and she knew he was thinking of the milk less coffee she had offered him. As she watched him his eyes rested on the boiler, cold and unlit behind her. 'No wonder It's like an iceberg here!' he exclaimed. 'Don't you ever intend to light that thing?' 'I haven't got round to it yet.' ‘You don't-appear to have got round to anything.' He was staring past her shoulder at the half-open larder, its bare shelves clearly visible. ‘You do intend to settle here, don't you, Dr Gibson, or are you planning Uptake my advice and return to London after all?' 'I have every intention of settling here, Mr Howard. But it's a question of priorities, and I consider that my first one is to establish myself in the factory.' ‘You have nothing to establish there except to take up your position behind a desk!' he replied. 'If you don't do something about heating this house you'll end up with pneumonia. It will be a case of the doctor being doctored.' His lips quirked. That wasn't what I meant,' he added quickly. 'I know exactly what you meant, and you're worrying needlessly. I'm quite happy living here like this.' 'Am I?' Abruptly he stepped past her and opened a couple of the kitchen cupboards. ‘Not a thing in them. What on earth have you been living on?' ‘I’ve only been here three days,' she stormed. 'I intend to go out tomorrow and do some shopping.' ‘You'll need a van!' 'I know exactly what I need. Now if you don't mind, Mr Howard, I have things to do.' ‘Like making yourself a dinner of coffee grains and stale biscuits!' One hand in the pocket of his jacket, he surveyed her. 'You disappoint me, Dr Gibson. You look so frail and feminine I thought you would at least have some of the fair sex's interest in making a home around yourself. But obviously you're happy to live like an impoverished first year student.' Anger choked her and she longed to tell him how wrong he was; that she hated living in this dreary atmosphere; that she wanted the house to be warm and bright and the kitchen full of the homely smells of cooking. But she dared not tell him of her lack of energy. He must never know the effort it cost her to get out of bed each morning nor the weariness with which she crawled back into bed at night. ‘Please go,' she said huskily.

Implacably he returned her gaze, then with a shrug he walked out. Kate remained in the kitchen until she heard the sound of his car die away, and only then did she return to the sitting room. It was still aromatic from the scent of his Havana cigar and she longed to open a window and get rid of it. But it was too cold and instead she went back to the kitchen. These was nothing for her to eat, and whereas the Kate of four months ago would have found the situation funny and burst out laughing, the Kate of today found it intolerable and burst into tears. At ten o'clock on Saturday morning Dermot Kane presented himself at the house, disconcerted to find that Kate had forgotten her promise to go to town with him. 'But we're going shopping for the house,’ he exclaimed. 'I refuse to believe a woman can forget she's going out to spend money.' 'I don't feel I have the right to spend any money on this place.' ‘Why not?' Reluctant to tell him of her meeting with Joshua Howard last night, she shrugged aside the question. 'Boiler still not working?' Dermot asked. 'Don't you start about the boiler,' she said unthinkingly. 'I had enough of that from Mr Howard.' ‘When?' 'Last night,' she said shortly. 'He—he called round to collect some papers and said how cold it was here.' 'I'm not surprised. It is cold here. I meant to get the boiler going for you the night you arrived, but, you were so determined to show me you could manage on your own that I was scared to offer my services again. Now I can see you were just being obstinate.' He marched into the kitchen, stared at the empty coal scuttle and went out to the backyard. There was a sound of scraping and a moment later he returned with a bucket of coke. ‘I’ll have the boiler going in no time,' he promised, and was as good as his word, finding paper and wood, stacking it competently and setting it alight with amazing ease. In next to no time the coke was glowing. The radiators should be hot in an hour,' he said as he washed his hands at the sink. The water is already tepid. Now go and put some lipstick or whatever it is you have to do, and we'll go out shopping.' 'I don't think——-'

‘You certainly don't think!' he interrupted. 'So you'd better let me do it for you. Go on, Kate.' Docilely she obeyed, enjoying the sensation of being told what to do even though she knew it would not last. One day she might be able to take orders from a man but it would have to be someone of stronger character than Dermot. Putting on the lipstick he had decreed, she found it strange that she should be so certain that he could never be the man. ‘Very nice too,' he commented as she came down to the hall where he was waiting for her. 'Have I told you that you're the prettiest girl in Llanduff ?' ‘Not yet,' she smiled. ‘Well, you are.' He tucked her arm through his hand led her out to the shooting brake. 'Do you have a list of things you want to buy?' ‘It wasn't necessary. In the food line I need most of the staple things—butter, eggs, soup, sardines——-' 'Don't you like to cook?' 'No,’ she said sharply. 'I don't.' He gave her a swift look and then chatted of other things. As on Thursday evening she found him an entertaining companion, and a surprisingly helpful one too as the morning progressed. The shopping tired her more than she had anticipated and the crowds in the supermarket where they went to buy her provisions made her feel claustrophobic, the way she had felt when she had tried to fight her way out of the blazing apartment block. Surrounded by a sea of metal baskets and jostling people all intent on their own affairs, she found reality slipping away from her and tried to push her way into the street. The exit seemed an interminable distance and her path was blocked by counters stacked with brightly coloured boxes that grew larger as she looked at them; terrifyingly large so that they towered above her like yellow and red sentinels. ‘What's the matter with you, Kate? You're shaking like a leaf.' Dermot's hand on her forearm brought her back to sanity and she shook her head. ‘Nothing,’ she mumbled. 'I—it's the heat in here.’ He caught hold of the trolley she was pushing and wheeled it to a check-out, looking so much at ease that she asked him if he was used to doing this sort of thing. 'I often take Mrs Hughes shopping,’ he explained, 'I find it relaxing to concern myself with ordinary things like this. It makes a change from all the high-powered executive mumbo-jumbo I deal with for most of my time,’

'You're certainly a man of many parts,’ she smiled. 1 suppose you'll confound me next by saying you can cook,’ 'That's one thing I can't do. But I love to eat—which reminds me that it's lunchtime. I know an excellent place, but we must get there early or we shall never get a table. I suggest we go now and finish the rest of your shopping this afternoon,’ 'I have nothing more to get,’ She hesitated. 'A cushion, perhaps. Dr Morris seems to have had a penchant for hard backed chairs.’ 'Buy yourself a nice relaxing one,’ She shook her head and was glad when he did not argue with her but instead put the food she had bought in the back of the shooting brake and then guided her down a side turning to an unpretentious-looking restaurant. 'Do you have a table by the window?' he asked the waitress. They've all been reserved; you're lucky to get one at all.’ 'I know,’ he smiled, and helped Kate off with her coat before they sat down. There's no menu to choose from,’ he explained. It's a set meal and you either take it or leave it,’ 'How odd!' ‘You won't say that when you've tasted it. This place is only open for lunch, but people come here from miles around. If's owned and run by a Frenchman and his wife. She's Welsh,’ he added, 'but he does the cooking.' 'You're beginning to make sense,' Kate smiled, and drew a deep ecstatic breath as a fragrant soup was set before them. Jewel-coloured vegetables nestled in a broth fragrant with fresh basil. This was followed by a blanquette de veau that bore no relation to the normal veal stew served in British restaurants, and was accompanied by buttered baby beans and carrots sprinkled with parsley. At the sweet stage Kate baulked, 'I'm too full for anything more. Just coffee, please.' It was only as the cups were set before them that Dermot glanced over her shoulder and gave a slight movement. 'Mr Howard has just come in.' 'And has gone to a table by the window,' she said dryly. 'Was that feminine intuition at work?’

‘Normal logic,' she replied. 'He's the sort of man who always expects to get the best wherever he goes.' She longed to look round and see if he was alone, but forced herself not to do so, though logic again told her he was certain to be lunching with someone. ‘Why did you let me believe Mr Howard was married?' she asked. 'Did I?' Dermot said, surprised, and then shook his head. ‘You misunderstood me. You asked me if there was a Mrs Howard and I thought you meant if his mother was alive. I took it for granted that you knew he was a widower.' ‘How should I know? I never met him 'until I came here to work.' ‘I assumed you knew about him because you were recommended to the post by one of his friends.’ ‘I know nothing at all about Mr Howard's private life.’ ‘You don't look as if you care, either,’ Dermot smiled, a statement which made it impossible for Kate to disclose her curiosity. Dermot signalled the waitress for more coffee and as Kate half turned to watch the girl replenish their cups, she was gratified to see that it brought Joshua Howard almost within vision. It only needed a slight turn of her head for her to see him clearly. He was a difficult man to miss. Even sitting down he bore such an air of authority that it minimised everyone around him. He was in tweeds and this made him look larger than ever and also younger, so that she amended her original belief that he was in his forties-and decided that late thirties was nearer the mark. He was not lunching with a man, as she had expected, but with a girl, who was quite one of the loveliest Kate had seen. In colouring she was as dark as her companion, though her hair was long and black and fell dramatically straight from a centre parting. Her Skin was golden, but from a distance it was difficult to tell whether this was its natural colouring or whether it was tanned by the sun. Certainly her clothes indicated she might be foreign, for the cut of her dress was crisp and the colour a vivid coral beloved by Rome. The next Mrs Howard?' Kate murmured, turning to see that Dermot had noticed where her attention had been held. ‘Felicity hopes so,’ he replied. ‘Felicity. That’s an unusual name. Is she English?’ ‘Welsh,’ he corrected, 'She has known Mr Howard most of her life.’ ‘You're destroying all my illusions,’ Kate said lightly. 'I didn't see her as the girl next door but as a glamorous Latin.’

‘Until she was fifteen she was definitely the girl next door,' he smiled. 'But a couple of years after he got married she went off with her parents to live in America. She came back a year ago and now lives in one of the prettiest cottages in the district. She's been making a play for Mr Howard ever since.' 'He doesn't appear to mind.' ‘What man would! He's a great one for the ladies —- at least he was till Felicity came on the scene. Since then he's stopped playing the field.' ‘Now he's just playing hard to get?' 'Can you blame him? When you've been married once you don't lightly go into it again without making sure you're doing the right thing.' ‘Did you know Mr Howard's wife?' she asked. 'She died before I joined him; She was killed in a hunting accident when Janey was four.' I’m surprised he hasn't married before now.' ‘Why should he? His mother manages his home, so why should he take on the problem of a wife when he can have all the pleasures without the encumbrances?' Dermot's eyes twinkled. 'I would have thought that you of all women, wouldn't advocate marriage.' 'It's still the best basis on which to build a relationship. Most people need to feel the comfort of a legal tie.' ‘Would you?' 'I'm not sure. It's something I can only answer when I fall in love and apply the question to a particular man.' 'A very logical reply,' he said so seriously that she knew he was teasing. 'Are you always so pontifical?' 'Only when I'm on my guard.' Her eyes twinkled. 'You don't expect roe to relax with any of Mr Howard's personnel, do you ?' ‘What a cruel thing to say!' Dermot reproached her. 'I was hoping you regarded me as a friend.' He leaned across the table. 'I'd like to be your friend, Kate. As I said the other day, you're the best thing that's happened to me in years,' ‘You don't know me,' she objected. ‘Women aren't the only ones with intuition!’

He stood up to go, and following him, Kate had another chance to see Joshua Howard and the woman with whom he was lunching, for he signalled them to go over to him. 'I'm glad to see Dermot has persuaded you to sample the delights of Pierre's cooking,' Joshua Howard greeted her as she came within earshot. Kate gave him a cool smile and kept it in place as he introduced her to the woman who sat opposite to him. Felicity Davis. The name had a familiar ring, though she could not place it, and had no time to ponder on it, for the girl was asking her how she liked living in Llanduff. Seen at close range, she was far more striking than at a distance, but her beauty was spoilt by a static quality that, to Kate at least, indicated hardness. Her eyes were light blue and contrasted well with her tanned slop, and ebony hair. Sitting down she yet gave the suggestion of tallness, her carriage erect, her arms long and slim and heavily braceleted. An elegant and confident woman of the world, Kate concluded, and felt her own lack of height and sophistication. ‘You look far too young to be a doctor,’ Felicity Davis remarked. That won't be a deterrent in ten years' time,' Kate said easily. That's true. Fair-haired women don't age, do they? They generally get more muted.' Kate was taken aback by the lack of subtlety far the comment, though the look on Felicity's face indicated she was not aware of having been tactless. This suggested a lack of sensitivity which made Kate decide that Joshua Howard could have met his match in this dynamic-looking creature. Glancing at Dermot to see how long he would be, her eyes met Joshua Howard's. There was derision in them and she found it difficult not to return it with one of dislike. The man was insufferable f He was the one who had come barging uninvited into her home, yet he had made her feel as though she had been in the wrong. It was a relief when she heard Dermot making his goodbyes and then turn to guide her from the restaurant. 'Well,’ he said as they walked towards the town centre’ ‘What bets are you prepared to lay against the marriage?' 'None,' she said promptly. ‘Miss Davis is the sort of person who gets what she wants.' 'So is Mr Howard. The trouble is I'm not sure if he knows what he wants.' They reached a furnishing store and Dermot paused to look in the window. There's a nice chair,’ he said, pointing to one upholstered in gold velvet. 'And it's not too big for your sitting room.' 'It's too expensive,’ she protested. 'Howard Engineering can afford it.' 'I don't think Mr Howard meant me to refurnish Dr Morris's house.'

'It's a company house and he was most specific that you buy whatever you wanted for it.' Reluctantly Kate allowed herself to be persuaded, and when they finally emerged from the store she had also bought a trolley—so that she could have a snack by the fire instead of eating in solitary state at the dining room table—and a couple of rugs to hide the dingy-brown carpet. She had resisted the suggestion of buying new curtains. It would have meant taking, down the old ones and making sure the new ones fitted properly, a task she could not face at the moment and one which she was reluctant to put upon Dermot, though the young man, not knowing the reason for her refusal, grumbled that she must enjoy being obstinate. It was late afternoon before they returned, to Llanduff and Kate was exhausted, eager only to put up her feet and sleep. ‘You must have been a dormouse in your last life,’ Dermot said as she tried to disguise a yawn. ‘How did you ever manage to qualify? I always thought students burned the midnight oil.’ ‘They do,’ she said, 'and so did I.' ‘Yet now you're too tired to come and have dinner with me.’ 'I've already had lunch with you,’ she protested. If you see too much of me you'll get bored.' ‘I’ll take a chance on that.' But she refused to let him persuade her to change her mind, and after he had carried the things they had bought into the house she firmly made him leave, knowing that if she let him settle she would be stuck with him for the evening: The moment she was alone she sank down into the new armchair, kicked off her shoes and wriggled her toes in the thick pile of the rug that glowed golden brown on the dismal carpet. The boiler was working and a delicious warmth permeated the house and lessened its bleakness, though staring at the narrow' windows Kate regretted she had not accepted Dermot's offer of new curtains. She wondered how the young doctor who had rented her own flat was managing to cope, and felt a spurt of homesickness for her own belongings. The feeling died as quickly as it had risen and she rested her head back and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she knew she had been asleep for several hours; for she was considerably more relaxed and, with a spurt of energy, went to the kitchen to unpack the provisions which Dermot had placed on the table. Though he had wanted to pay for them, saying it was all part of the service, she had insisted on doing so herself. She was getting a more than generous salary for what she would be doing here and already felt guilty at how little this was going to be. She had to do something else to encourage more of the men to come to her. Their wives and children too. Doctors could not canvass for patients unless they wanted the Medical Council down on their ears, but surely she would not be

overstepping the mark if she let it be known she would be holding a surgery in the house and Would be pleased to see anyone for a chat. Perhaps if she became friendly with some of the women it might encourage them to turn to her medically. She could not help wondering if her task would be easier if she were middle-aged and exuded a motherly air instead of looking like a determined sprite. The thought made her glance at her reflection in the mirror as she crossed back into the sitting room. A few days in Llanduff had not brought back the roses to her cheeks, but her smile was easier and there was a gleam of excitement in her eyes. She really must have slowed down her living pace if a day's shopping in a market town had made her feel so contented and pleased. CHAPTER SIX Kate spent Sunday morning in bed resting, but in afternoon she made an attempt to put the small waiting room and consulting room in better order. The heat from the boiler did not service this part of the house, but two large electric heaters were there and she kept them on all day to take the dampness from the rooms. She knew Dermot would consider her foolish to have consulting hours in the house when the ones she kept at the factory were still not being utilised, but because she believed that a surgery dose to the Howard housing estate was more likely to encourage the wipes' to visit her, she persisted with her plans. She would put up a notice to this effect on the door of her room at the factory and also ask Dermot to see that the news was circulated in the monthly magazine that was distributed free to everyone at the factory. It might also be a good idea to write an article in the next issue. It would at least be another way of making herself known, providing she could find something of interest to write about. Her intention to put this particular plan into action was thwarted by her discovery that both Dermot and Joshua Howard had gone to London for several days. According to Nurse Evans it was an unexpected departure and the result of a phone call which Mr Howard had received at seven o'clock that morning. 'How is it you are so well informed?' Kate asked with a smile. ‘My sisters housekeeper to Mr Howard.' 'I thought his mother kept house for him?' That doesn't mean she does the actual work. They have a sizeable staff at the Hall, though they don't do much entertaining since young Mrs Howard died.’ ‘Mr Howard only has the one child.' Kate made the words a statement but hoped the nurse would see them as a question. 'Just the one, and she's handful enough. If she—' The nurse was stopped by a knock on the door and opened it to disclose an ashen-faced man. 'I know surgery isn't open,' he gasped, ‘but I feel dreadful.'

Instantly Kate was, on her feet beckoning the man in. He started to vomit and Nurse Evans rushed forward with a bowl and then led him into the surgery. Careful questions solicited that he had had breakfast in the -canteen and began to feel ill a couple of hours later. It was not until four men came in with the same symptoms that Kate was positive food poisoning was likely to become rampant throughout the factory. Immediately she telephoned the canteen supervisor, who came hurrying down, adamant that no food prepared under her eagle eye could become contaminated. ‘Everything’s fresh and of the best quality,' she insisted, her manner as starchy as her white apron. 'Serving breakfasts is a new innovation. We only began it last week, so even the cereal packets are fresh.' Well, something is contaminated,’ Kate asserted, 'and if we can't trace it we shall have to call in the Health Inspector. This isn't a case of tummy upsets. It's an extremely virulent form of food poisoning.' The canteen supervisor blanched. The only thing it could be are the sausages. They're made especially for us and——' ‘You'd better go back to the canteen and make sure no more are served. Then give me a couple to send off for analysis and phone the butcher where you got them from and tell him what's happened. I'll have to notify the Health Inspector and——-' ‘You said if we traced the source you wouldn't have——-’ ‘We haven’t traced ft yet and the Inspector is the best person to get the sausages analysed for us. If we suspect a local butcher we're obliged to notify the public health department.' 'Oh dear,' the woman wailed. 'A thing like this can cause awful publicity. Mr Howard will be furious!' 'He'd be even more furious if some of his workmen died,' Kate said grimly, and broke off as several more men staggered in to be treated. By early afternoon there were fifty cases of food poisoning, three-quarters of them bad enough to be hospitalised. Having found herself with nothing to do for the first few days here, Kate was now worked off her feet, her surgery full and her telephone ringing without cessation. There seemed to be an ambulance permanently plying between the factory and the hospital, and twice during the day she went down herself to see that her patients were comfortable. Most of them were already considerably better, and feeling sheepish at having made a fuss for what they considered to be a kid's complaint, but she quickly assured them there was nothing childish about food poisoning and told them that unless it was treated promptly it could sometimes be fatal. ‘Fact is, I felt so ill, I forgot you were a woman, one of the men said. 'I wouldn't have even been embarrassed if you'd been a nun!'

It was a back-handed compliment, but she took it in the spirit it was meant. 'Don't let the embarrassment return now you're better,' she quipped, 'In my surgery I'm neither a woman nor a nun. I'm a doctor.’ ‘You are at that,' said the man, 'and a bl—' He choked back the word. 'And a very good one!' She laughed and walked over to the next bed. We'll have to call this the Howard Ward,' she said. We've practically taken it over.' The men within earshot laughed and a couple of them struggled to sit up as she went over to talk to them. Even when she had returned home she had little chance to rest, for several of the men who had breakfasted in the canteen in the morning had not started to feel unwell until the evening. It meant she had to go to their homes to attend them, but since this also presented her with an opportunity of meeting their families, she felt each visit to be worthwhile from a psychological viewpoint alone. Luckily the evening cases were less unpleasant than the morning ones,-though they kept her as fully occupied, and when she finally got to bed she was feeling queasy herself; not from what she had eaten but from what she had not eaten, for both she and Nurse Evans had existed throughout the day on endless cups of tea and buns. Tuesday she regarded as mopping up day. She made two further visits to the hospital to check on the men who were still there and saw all those who were confined to their beds at home. On Wednesday there was a return to normality and morning surgery passed with only one of the women secretaries coming in to discuss family planning. But afternoon surgery brought an entirely different response, and some half dozen men whom Kate had not met before came to see her for various medical reasons. They were nearly all ill at ease and she did her best to help them relax, knowing it was their attitude that would have to change rather than her own. Illness was a great leveller—as the attack of food poisoning had shown— but she did not want to wait for another such attack before finding her resources fully stretched again. Of course having fewer patients meant she could devote more time to them, and a couple of the men seemed surprised at the questions she asked. From what she could gather from them, Dr Morris was not the type of medical man with whom she would have had much in common. He had practised abroad for most of his life and had only returned to England when his position in Africa had been taken over by an African doctor. He had still hankered for the tropics and regarded Llanduff as second only to the North-Pole when it came to comfort It was odd that Joshua Howard had kept him, on. When a man went to the expense of employing his own doctor, one assumed he would also have taken the trouble to make sure that that doctor was the best he could procure, Kate made a mental note to discuss it with Dermot; then immediately vetoed the idea. Dr Morris would be returning here and it was unethical of her to criticise him. That evening it was five-thirty before she left the factory. Nurse Evans usually came to work on a bike, but she had a puncture, and Kate offered her a Iift4nto town and took the

opportunity of telling her she was having an evening surgery at the house and on Saturday and Sunday morning too. Nurse Evans looked disapproving. 'What about your own time off, Doctor?' ‘You can hardly call me overworked,' Kate said. ‘Not now maybe, but it's picking up all the time. You saw how it was today.' 'This is a leisurely practice compared with the one I left.' 'It won't be if you start looking after the men's families.' Kate shrugged. 'I don't feel I'm earning my salary.' 'If Mr Howard doesn't worry why should you?' 'He might well start worrying if he knows how little I'm being utilised!' ‘Wait another week before you say that. I wouldn't like any more cases of food poisoning, yet you've got to admit it has made the men see you as a doctor.' 'It certainly has.' Kate stopped the car to let the nurse out. 'Will you be wanting me to help you with your surgery at home?' the nurse asked, and Kate hesitated, not sure about payment for this. ‘Did you help Dr Morris when he ran his surgery at home?' 'He only did it for a few months. The women stopped coming to him and he closed it down.' ‘Why did they stop?' Kate asked. They didn't like him. He was a good doctor, but he had an off-hand manner. In my opinion Mr .Howard would have got rid of him if he hadn't taken ill and gone abroad.' ‘But he's coming back, isn't he?' 'So he said, but whether or not Mr Howard will take him back is another question.' The nurse leaned forward. 'I don't fancy working Saturday and Sunday, Dr Gibson, but I am prepared to give you a hand part of the time.' ‘I’ll bear that in mind,' Kate smiled. 'Let me start the surgery first and see how things go.'

During the rest of the week she noticed with considerable satisfaction that more of the men were coming to see her. None of them presented her with anything serious—merely routine colds and sore throats and the occasional injury at work. If they had more intimate illnesses to bother them they were obviously not bringing them to her, but it was early days yet and she must control her impatience. On Thursday evening as she let herself into the house she received a call from Dermot. 'I got in an hour ago,’ he announced. 'I hear you've been having fun and games in my absence.' 'Great fun,' she said wryly. ‘Who told you?' The Works Manager rang me on Monday with the news. I wanted to come straight back, but Mr Howard wouldn't let me.' Kate knew immediately why and resentment stirred in her. Joshua Howard had probably wanted an emergency like this to occur, no doubt hoping she would fail to cope with it. Well, she had shown him how wrong he was. 'Any chance of seeing you tonight?’ Dermot asked. She hesitated. Hospitality urged her to invite him to supper, but she could not summon the energy to prepare a meal or even to talk with him, and she pleaded tiredness. Then I'll see you at the factory tomorrow,' he said, disappointment in his voice as he bade her goodnight. Replacing the receiver Kate dropped her coat on to a chair and went upstairs 'to bath and change. The water, piping hot and scented with an unusually lavish handful of bath crystals, made her feel better and in a soft velvet housecoat whose rose pink colour lessened her pallor, she went to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. She was hungry, yet she could not be bothered to cook and, thanking heaven for chickens, she took some eggs from the refrigerator. She was beating them in a bowl when the doorbell rang. The fork clattered into the yolks and she set the bowl down and went into the hall. ‘Who is it?' she called. 'Joshua Howard.' ‘What—what do you want ?' As she asked the question she knew it was ridiculous. Obviously he wanted to see her, otherwise he would not be standing outside the door. She pulled back the bolt and let him in. Cold air came in with him and he shook the rain off his hair, then ran his hand across the top of it. It was thick and heavy and no grease confined it, so that it sprang back from his forehead with a vitality that matched the one he exuded. He seemed taller and bigger standing so close to her, and she moved back from him hastily. Looking over her shoulder he saw the light in the kitchen and walked towards it, forcing her to do the same.

'I hadn't realised you would be eating so early,’ he apologised. 'It's seven-thirty and I've had a long day.' 'I know. I gather you've worked like a Trojan this week.' ‘Only Monday and Tuesday. The rest of the time-has been slack.' ‘Not according to Nurse Evans.' ‘Have you been checking up on me?’ she asked sharply. 'Should I?' he said, a gleam in his eye. 'Actually I heard it from my housekeeper.' Too late she remembered his housekeeper was Nurse Evans's sister. 'I hear about you from the same route,’ she said irritably. He grinned. 'Now that we both know where we get our Information from, perhaps you'll relax and stop glowering at me.' ‘I’m not glowering.' ‘Well, pick up your fork and beat your eggs. I'm sure there's more temper in you that needs to be vented on something!' She saw a gleam in his eyes and turned away from him. ‘Why have you come to see me, Mr Howard?' she asked. To thank you for the way you coped with the crisis. I gather you've been in touch with the Public Health Officer and that they've traced the source of the food poisoning. You acted very quickly.' 'It was routine. Any doctor would have done the same. Or did you think that a woman would cave in when faced with an emergency?' 'I asked for that,’ he said quickly, ‘but can't we let bygones be bygones?' She knew it was the nearest he would come to making an apology for his earlier reluctance to employ her, and wished she did not find it so hard to forgive him. Yet she could not overcome her feeling of antagonism and wondered what there was about this man that caused it. She was suddenly conscious of how fast her heart was beating and hoped he would not notice the quick rise and fall of her breasts. She put her hand to her hair in a nervous gesture, pushing away the soft tendrils that lay on her forehead.' 'I—I've already forgotten our first meeting, Mr Howard,’ she said jerkily.

'Good. Now how about having a drink to the future?' 'I only have tea or coffee.' 'I thought that might be the case,’ he said, and from the pocket of his overcoat took out a bottle of champagne. She stared at it ‘You aren't going to open that?' 'Short of extracting the champagne with a hypodermic needle I see no other solution!' 'It's just that it's a whole bottle,’ she said lamely. ‘Where are the glasses?' he asked. 'In the dining room sideboard,’ He turned on his heel and she followed him, watching as he took two glasses from the cupboard, held them up to the light and frowned. She was immediately conscious that they were dirty and went pink with embarrassment. 'I haven't bothered cleaning things I don't use,’ she said, and went to take the glasses from him. ‘I’ll do it,’ he said, and took them into the kitchen. She watched as he rinsed the glasses under the tap and then wiped them dry. For a big man he moved with grace, his movements controlled, unlike his voice which was commanding and brisk. Back to the sitting room he went and deftly uncorked the champagne, pouring it frothing into the glasses. He handed her one and raised his own to her. Half expecting him to make some toast, she was disappointed that he said nothing, though his eyes were intent on her as he drank. Conscious of his gaze, she found it difficult to swallow and was annoyed that he had the capacity to embarrass her yet remain so impervious himself. 'I've arranged for you to have a housekeeper,’ His deep voice broke the silence and Kate's glass shook in her hand. ‘You've done what!' ‘I’ve arranged for you to have a housekeeper. A Mrs Pugh. Her husband was one of my foremen until he died. She gets a pension but would like a job; not because she needs the money but because she's bored at having nothing to do. She has no children here,’ he explained.

'I don't wish to be a surrogate one,’ Kate said carefully. 'I don't need anyone to take care of me.' 'I think you do.' His look around the room spoke volumes and the glass in her hand shook again, this time with anger. 'I know my lack of domesticity annoys you, Mr Howard, but as I am the only one to suffer by it…' . 'Are you the only one?' he countered. 'As a doctor, surely you know the importance of being well looked after? You've worked hard all day and now you have to come home and make yourself a meal.' ‘Thousands of people have to do the same.' 'Because they have no choice. But I'm giving you a choice.' That's exactly what you aren't doing!' she flared. ‘You are giving me an order and I won't accept it! I don't need a housekeeper and I have no intention of engaging one.' 'I have already engaged her for you. Can't you see I’m doing it for your own good? I don't know what you've eaten all week, but I'm prepared to bet this is the fifth omelette you've made yourself in as many days!' 'It’s none of your business what I eat,’ she said furiously. 'I pay your salary and I expect a hundred per cent efficiency—which I won't get if you go around looking as pale as a candle!' 'I can't help being pale,’ she almost choked with anger. ‘You're more than pale,’ he stormed. ‘You're as thin as a rake. I could pick you up with one hand.' He moved forward and, afraid he was going to do exactly what he said, she whirled round to run out. As she turned, the room seemed to turn with her and then began to revolve faster, until one wall merged with another and everything blurred into an indescribable vortex. With a cry she put but her hands for support and felt them taken and gripped hard. She tried to speak, but no words came, nor did the revolving cease. Instead it intensified while the light around her faded and grew dark. She knew she was going to faint and with an immense effort she tried to control it. If only she could lie down and put her feet higher than her head. She went to drop to the floor, but even as she tried to do so the hands holding her caught her under her knees and shoulders and she felt herself lifted in the air. ‘Put me down!’ she gasped.

'Be quiet,’ the man said fiercely, and lowered her on to the settee. She lay supine and slowly darkness gave way to light and the room righted itself. Joshua Howard's face came into focus, so close to hers that she saw his eyes were not black, as she had supposed, but a warm brown. His eye-brows were thick too, yet well arched and smooth. Embarrassed by her thoughts, she hastily sat up. ‘Take it easy,’ he warned, 'or you'll faint again,’ 'No, I won't. I'm not normally the fainting type.' 'You look as if you are!' 'I can't help my looks,’ she snapped. ‘They don't need any help.’ Colour came into her cheeks and she wished he would go away. But before he did, she must talk to him about the housekeeper. 'I don't want anyone to look after me,’ she reiterated. 'I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.’ ‘You proved that by fainting,’ he said dryly. ‘You made me lose my temper and—and I was a, bit overwrought.’ ‘That should make you an excellent doctor and able to cope with emergencies,' he said sarcastically, and pushed her back on to the settee. Then he bent lower, making it impossible for her to rise without coming up directly against him. ‘You need someone to look after you, Dr Gibson,' his voice was deep and quiet. ‘Under normal circumstances I am sure you can take care of yourself, but until you are normal I want you to accept Mrs Pugh's help.' I’m perfectly normal,' she said quickly. 'I'm a bit tired today because——-' I’m not casting doubts on your ability to be a good doctor,' he interrupted. ‘You've already proved to me how well you can cope. What I am saying is that you have no reserves of strength and that if you want to do the best for your patients, you will start to look after yourself. You can move into a hotel if you wish, but if you want to stay in this house, then you must have someone to live here with you.' She opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted her again. ‘I had dinner with Peter Frisco when I was in London and he told me why he had wanted you to take a less strenuous job. I was annoyed with him for not telling me the full facts when he recommended you——-' ‘You wouldn't have taken me on if you'd known,’ she said.

That's true,' he agreed, ‘but now that you are working for me, I insist that you let me make things as easy for you as I can. Mrs Pugh needs someone to look after and you need to be looked after. What could be more simple?’ Put this way it seemed churlish to go on refusing his help. ‘How much will I have to pay her?' she asked cautiously. “That’s all been arranged.' 'I don't want your charity, Mr Howard.' His intake of breath was sharp and his lids lowered, turning his eyes into slits. The Company is paying for Mrs Pugh,' he said softly. 'And if you are not willing to accept it, you will have to resign.' ‘There is no mention of my having a housekeeper in my contract.' 'For heaven's sake,' he said furiously. 'Don't you know when to give in? What sort of woman are you?' 'One with a mind of her own.' Then use it and stop acting like a fool! Anyone else would jump at the chance of a housekeeper.' Kate knew he was speaking the truth and the knowledge made her crosser. ‘Very well, Mr Howard,' she bit out the words. I’ll do as you say.' ‘Excellent.’ His smile was brilliant, showing his strong white teeth. ‘Now I suggest we go into the kitchen so that you can have your omelette before we polish off the rest of the champagne.' 'I don't think I'd better drink any more.' Seeing his mouth tighten, she added quickly: I’m not being rude, Mr Howard, but since the—the fire I have to be careful what I drink. I'm sorry that you have wasted your champagne on me.' 'As long as I haven't wasted my time,' he said softly. That is much more to the point.' Colour came and went in her cheeks. She was terribly, conscious of his nearness and of his dark trousered leg almost brushing her knee. She rose quickly, hoping he would step back, but he didn't do so and she moved sideways to get past him. His hand came up to grip her elbow and she felt the hardness of his fingers. Her eyes were on a level with his chest. His jacket was undone and through his fine silk shirt she saw thick black hair on his breastbone. It brought with it more intimate pictures and she shook her head as though to put them from her mind. What was the matter with her? She was a doctor. She had seen men's bodies before, yet here she was trembling like a frightened schoolgirl merely

because she was standing next to a handsome brute of a man who was trying to control her life while she was working for him. She took another step sideways and he released her arm. 'Do you feel well enough to be left alone?' he asked. ‘Yes, thank you.' 'I don't suppose you'd care to get dressed and come and have dinner with me.' That isn't necessary, Mr Howard. I was making myself an omelette when you called and I'll finish making it when you go.' 'How hospitable you are!' 'I don't feel hospitable,’ she said raggedly, 'and I do wish you'd go and leave me alone.' Two quick steps brought him to the hall and another one put him at the door. ‘I’ll see you in the office tomorrow, Dr Gibson. Goodnight and sleep well.' ‘The door closed behind him and Kate weakly leaned against the wall. Joshua Howard had come here tonight in a spirit of friendliness, yet she had been unable to accept the olive branch he had offered. Because she was not normally the type to bear malice she found her behaviour hard to understand and concluded it was because he made her feel she was unfeminine. He believed her to be a career woman who cared only for her work and not her home comforts, and since she knew this was not the case, she reacted by disliking him. But to tell him he was misjudging her would only serve to make him think she minded what he thought of her—and she didn't care in the least! Then why am I standing here thinking about him?' she asked herself, and irritably went into the kitchen. The omelette mixture looked unappetising and she was about to tip it into the sink when she stopped. To go to bed without supper was exactly what Joshua Howard would expect her to do. She re-beat the eggs vigorously and tipped them into a pan frizzling with hot butter. She must make more of an effort to be friendly with him; to continue to dislike him would be giving him an importance; he did not deserve. She had come to Llanduff to do a job for a specific length of time and when it was over she would return to London calmer in mind and better in health. Her stay here was but an interlude —- as were the people she met—and it would be as well to remember that. CHAPTER SEVEN At lunchtime the next day Kate received a call from Joshua Howard's secretary-to tell her she was expected to lunch in the directors' dining room. Kate put down the telephone and made a face at it, wondering how the man had known she had not lunched with the other directors during his absence. Did he always interfere in everything or was he just doing so with herself out of perversity? She longed to ignore his request and go to the canteen,

but knew that such behaviour would be construed as deliberately baiting him and, having made up her mind last night that she would try and stifle the antipathy he aroused in her, she reluctantly obeyed his dictum. Entering the dining room, she found Joshua Howard at the centre of a small group. He saw her and immediately disengaged himself from them and came over to her. He Was holding a glass of whisky and a small, dark cigar ao4i always when she saw someone smoking, she could not refrain from a look of disapproval. He was quick to notice it but misconstrued her reason. 'I know you like wine, Dr Gibson, so is it that you object to hard liquor?' 'It isn't my business to object to anything you do, Mr Howard, but as a matter of fact it was your cigar I was looking at.' ‘Better than cigarettes, surely?' ‘Not as safe as a pipe.' 'Do you see me as a calm pipe smoker?' ‘Not exactly,' she said with a slight smile. . 'But 1 handle a gun well and I do go for walks with a dog.' Her smite broadened even though she knew he was teasing her. 'I am sure you have many admirable qualities, Mr Howard, not the least of them being a dog-lover!' He grinned at this and led her tack to the small group with whom he had been talking. At once conversation centred on the outbreak of food poisoning; and the effect it had had on production. 'It's lucky it wasn't a lunchtime meal that was contaminated,' she said, 'or you would have had the whole labour force ill.' ‘That's bound to happen sooner or later,' one of the , directors said. That's always the problem where you do mass feeding. There's a lot to be said for everyone bringing their own lunch box the way they did in the old days.’ 'Some men still do.' Dermot joined the circle, smiling a welcome at Kate as he spoke. 'It beats me why so many wives bother when their husbands can get a far better meal here than the stodge and sandwiches they provide.' 'I imagine that the women who provide their husbands with lunch boxes are the ones without children,’ Kate said. 'It makes them feel they're contributing to the marriage.'

‘Being a real wife, you mean?' Dermot asked, and looked at the other directors. 'You see how important it is to have a woman's point of view!' Then you should employ a few more,’ Kate rejoined, Dermot grinned. 'If Mr Howard could run the plant as an all-male concern he would, but unfortunately men don't type as well as women!' They would also want more money, as secretaries,’ Kate said crisply, 'so women do have their uses.' ‘Excellent uses,' a deep voice said behind her, and uncomfortably she wondered how long Joshua Howard had been listening to the conversation; most of the time apparently, as his next words signified. Women don't want only their husbands to need them, they also like their employers to show the same attitude. I have yet to have a man sulk because,’ I didn't thank him for staying late to get some work done, or flounce out in a temper because I objected to their having a long telephone conversation.' ‘Women do talk longer on the telephone,’ Kate agreed, ‘but you can't blame them if they want to be thanked for staying late. After all, secretaries rarely get paid overtime, though I bet none of your men stay late without being paid for it.’ The dark eyes glinted, though it was not until they moved towards the table that Joshua Howard spoke softly to her. ‘You enjoy attacking me, don't you, Dr Gibson?' 'Only because you enjoy provoking me.' ‘You think I do it deliberately?' ‘Yes.' She glanced at him and then looked away quickly, uncomfortable beneath the intenseness of his gaze. 'I suppose I do,' he murmured. 'It's probably because I like to watch the way you sparkle. You should have had red hair.’ ‘You mean I'm not the mouse I look!’ He held her chair for her and she saw with dismay that he had placed her next to him. 'Never a mouse, Dr Gibson. A marmot perhaps, with sharp little teeth.' She instantly pictured a small and nondescript furry creature and wondered what animal he would liken Felicity Davis to? A sleek black panther perhaps? Seeing he was still watching her, she hurriedly picked up her spoon and began to eat her grapefruit. 'I gather you have been lunching in the canteen in my absence,’ he said.

'Most of the time,’ she replied. 'But I lunched here once with Dermot.’ 'Ah, yes. You and he have become good friends.’ ‘I find him sympathetic,’ ‘Unlike myself?' ‘Must you make everything so personal, Mr Howard?' ‘Does it worry you?' he asked so blandly that she knew it was useless to pretend that it didn't. 'It worries me In the sense that it irritates me,’ she said icily. 'I'm sure you don't act so— in the same way with the men you employ. But because I'm a woman, you persist in teasing and taunting me. You obviously still regard the female sex as second class citizens!' ‘You have a strange idea of what my opinions are,’ he answered. 'I suppose it's because I objected to you taking up the post here? But I think I made out a good case for my reasons, and they still exist.' ‘No, they don't,’ she denied. The surgery has been considerably busier in the last few days,’ . The aftermath of the food poisoning,’ he replied. ‘More than that,’ she persisted. 'Lots of the men are already accepting the fact that I'm a doctor first and a woman second,’ His eyes moved over her slowly. ‘I would say you are a woman first.’ ‘You think that way because I'm not your doctor.’ ‘Nor likely to be.’ She set her spoon sharply on her plate. 'I don't wish, you ill, Mr Howard, but I must say I would enjoy prescribing for you!' 'I might end up by liking the prescription!' She gave him a startled look and felt her colour deepen. He had unexpectedly given the conversation a different meaning, as if to emphasise the fact that she was a woman and he was a man. Not that this was something he needed to emphasise, for she was all too aware of his masculinity. Even seated, he towered above all the men around him; and not only because of his height and breadth of shoulder but because of the magnitude of his personality. In the little Dermot had said about him, she knew his roots were deeply embedded in this region, and the fact that his home was an ancient one spoke for several

generations of success. Yet despite this there was a self-made aura about him, and she guessed that though he might have begun with money, it was his own efforts that had increased it tenfold. As if deciding he had spent sufficient time talking to her, he turned to the rest of the table and re-opened a general conversation. There was talk of the new extension he was planning and surprisingly a couple of the directors were critical of the project. But he took their , outspokenness in his stride and she concluded he was impervious to it. He was the sort of person to make up his own mind and allow no one to change it. At last the lunch came to an end and, declining coffee, she pushed back her chair. ‘What's the rush?' Joshua Howard asked. 'I have to make some calls and then go to the hospital. Some of the men are still there.' 'If you care to wait half an hour I have to go to town myself and I'll drive you.’ ‘There's no need, thank you. I'm not sure how long I shall be at the hospital.' He accepted her refusal with a nod and she went out of the dining room, trying not to show by her swift pace that she was conscious that all eyes were upon her. But back in her consulting room a quick glance in the mirror beside her desk showed her a flushed face and bright eyes. The head of Howard Engineering might irritate her, but he also gave her animation. Checking her case to make sure she had all her equipment, Kate went out to the car park. It was a warm day and she realised how quickly summer had stolen upon spring, or was it that one was more conscious of the seasons when one could see purple hills against blue sky and rolling green fields in place of grey buildings? She unlocked the door of the car and was about to step in when a Bright red sports car stopped smartly beside her. 'Hello, there,' a husky voice said as Felicity; Davis slid out of the front seat, all long silken legs and emerald green suit. 'Are you going or coming?' 'Going,' Kate replied. 'But I'll be back at three-thirty.’ 'Has Joshua finished lunch yet?' 'I left him having coffee.' 'Do you always lunch with the directors?' The question was artless, but there was a probing look in the vivid blue eyes. 'It is expected of me,' Kate said coolly. 'I thought doctors were too overworked to stop for lunch.'

'I was when I was working as a G.P., but I have much more free time here.’ ‘Too much, I should think,' Felicity Davis said. 'Joshua is a fool to mollycoddle his men the way he does. Still, he can afford it, and if it makes him feel good…' 'I don't think he does it in order to feel good.' Kate was surprised to find herself defending him. 'He does it because he believes it's the right thing to do,' 'Naturally you agree with him.' There was amusement on the beautiful face. 'After all, it gives you a cushy job.' Felicity Davis's voice was still artless, though Kate was now sure that the meaning was not. But she was careful to hide her irritation as she slid behind the wheel of her car. 'Sorry to cut our conversation short,' she said sweetly, but I'm off to do a bit of window shopping.' Only as she turned out of the car park did she allow herself to grin at the look of surprise that had crossed Felicity Davis's face. Next time they met the Welsh girl would be more careful with her tongue. Kate gave a half frown as she tried to think why Felicity should dislike her. Did she see all women as rivals and dislike them for this, or was it only those who came into contact with Joshua Howard? Either way it indicated jealousy of him and lack of confidence. It was surprising so lovely a girl should be worried by any other women, and Kate wondered if the man was still playing hard to get. She tried to picture him married to Felicity, but since she did not know his background she could not place them together in it and they remained shadily on the horizon of her mind, hovering there for the rest of the afternoon as she made her calls at the hospital and then visited the men who were confined to their home. She returned to the factory to find her waiting room full and could not restrain a sensation of triumph. What a pity Joshua Howard did not walk in on her now! For the first time since coming to Llanduff she was late in closing her surgery and it was well after six before the -last patient left. Leaving Nurse Evans to tidy up, she went out to her car and, expecting the car-park to be empty, felt a stirring of apprehension as she saw the silver grey Porsche and the tall, black-haired man who loomed beside it. It was impossible to avoid him without seeming rude, so she deliberately moved in his direction and gave him what she hoped was a careless smile. 'Goodnight, Mr Howard,' she said, not slowing her pace. 'Good evening, Dr Gibson. What’s your hurry?' At this she had to stop and stare up—a long way up— till she met his gaze. 'No hurry,’ she replied. 'I'm just on my way home.' 'I have something for you.' He held out his palm.

'Do you want me to read your fortune?' she asked. He smiled. 'I want you to take the key.' Immediately she saw the silver-coloured latch key and felt foolish. 'Why are you giving it to me?' she asked. 'It’s the key to your front door. I had a feeling that unless I gave it back to you, you would change the lock!' Since this was exactly what she had planned to do’, she went scarlet, and he made no attempt to hide his amusement. For a subtle woman you have a strange tendency to give yourself away.' 'I have never considered myself subtle, Mr Howard' ‘You haven't been with me,' he admitted, 'but that’s because you haven't tried.' Would you like me to do so?' He took time before answering. 'No,' he said slowly. I like you exactly the way you are.' 'Does that mean you no longer disapprove of my being a doctor?' He gave an exclamation of annoyance. 'I have never objected to your medical qualifications, only to your practising them in my factory. And only then because I felt— and still do—that my men would prefer to be taken care of by a man. You obviously feel that too, otherwise you wouldn't be planning to open a surgery in your house.' ‘Nurse, Evans's sister's grapevine, I suppose?' ‘Nurse Evans's sister's grapevine,' he said solemnly, and then gave her an intent stare. 'Should you be doing so much?' 'Looking after eight hundred men isn't much,’ she said scornfully. 'It is, in your present condition.' ‘You make me sound as if I'm pregnant!' She was sorry the moment she had spoken, for his eyes travelled over her slender lines. ‘You look too much of a child to be a mother,' he said abruptly. I’m twenty-seven, Mr Howard.'

'And I am thirty-eight.' He ran a hand over his hair and tilted his head back. His skin was so bronze that it looked as though it had been coloured by the tropics, bat despite the dark intensity of his looks and the swarthiness of a Welshman, he was considerably taller than most of his compatriots. He looked as if there was Spanish Blood in him and it did not require much imagination to see him swashbuckling his way across a rolling deck, with a skull and crossbones fluttering from the mast. Tut it away,' he said suddenly, and with a start Kate realised she was still holding the key. 'I used it for the last tune today,' he continued. To let in Mrs Pugh.' 'Mrs who?' ‘Your new housekeeper.' Anger swamped her. He had said he had engaged a housekeeper, but she had never believed he would go ahead with it once she had made it clear she was vehemently opposed to it. ‘You had no right to bring anyone into my home!' she said hotly. 'I explained the other day exactly why I thought I did have the right.' He put up a hand to stall her comment. However, if after a month you say you definitely don't want Mrs Pugh to remain with you, then I won't insist on her staying.' This remark cut the ground from under Kate's feet and her temper retreated, although it did not die. 'Do you always get your own way?' she demanded. 'Generally.' ‘One day you will concede defeat over something.’ ‘You may well be right' His tone was so serious that she felt his answer held a deeper meaning than she understood. Was he thinking of Felicity Davis and wondering whether marriage to that beautiful charmer was something he might regret in the distant future? Somehow Kate could not see him doing -anything he might have doubts about. He was a man of strong conviction and even stronger courage who would never do anything if he had the slightest reason to believe he would regret it. ‘What's puzzling you?' he asked softly. ‘You are,’ she said candidly. 'I can't make you out’ That's the first sign of uncertainty you've ever shown towards me. Does it mean you are mending your opinion of me?’ 'People are always changing,' she replied sweetly. 'And when you become less obstinate in your opinions, I might become less obstinate in mine.'

He filing back his head and laughed. It was a deep sound and she enjoyed it. But abruptly he stopped and was serious again. 'Don't let me detain you any longer, Dr Gibson. I'm sure you have a great deal to do.' It was a dismissal and she turned quickly to her car. But as she drove away she saw he was still standing by his Porsche watching her, his well-shaped head clearly .outlined against the pale concrete wall of the factory behind him. In that instant she had an intense feeling of his aloneness. It was nothing to do with his being lonely, she decided, for she felt it to be a deliberate choice on his part. He was a solitary reaper who had no need of people. Yet there must be some need inside him; otherwise he would not be considering marriage. Still, what he . did with his life was his own affair and no concern of hers. CHAPTER EIGHT To Kate's annoyance she enjoyed having Mrs Pugh as her housekeeper. The woman was different from what she had anticipated, being in her late forties with a trim figure and bright mind. She looked after the house with the minimum of fuss and treated Kate in the same way. Within ten days Kate could not imagine ever having managed on her own. The house looked like a home. Loose covers in simple chintz now masked the dull moquette three-piece suite, and the ugly curtains had been replaced by linen ones: orange downstairs and lime in the bedrooms. But above all it was the presence of someone in the house, the knowledge that it was not empty when she returned to it, that gave Kate the greatest sense of pleasure and made her wonder whether Joshua Howard ever felt like this when he returned to his home. Then she remembered that his mother was alive and lived with him. Probably this was the reason he had not remarried. Had he lived alone he might have done so long since, for she could not picture him being on the same terms with his housekeeper as she was with hers. Three weeks after the arrival of Mrs Pugh, Kate opened her surgery at the house. Dermot had sent a notice to this effect round the factory, as well as putting one up in the canteen. But she knew it would lake more than a notice to bring in the women and children. A few would come, particularly those whose husbands she had visited at home during the food poisoning epidemic. But this was a handful by comparison to the families she did not know, and these were the ones she needed to contact Coming from a general practice where she had dealt with diverse illnesses and problems, she was disquieted by the boring sameness of her present practice. True, a couple of the men presented interesting problems to her, but for the most part she dealt with relatively simple cases that did not expand her knowledge or stretch her mind. This was another reason she wanted to broaden her practice while she was here, and the only way to do this was to turn it into a larger, more general one. Kate had known it was not going to be easy, but she was unprepared to find it did not get going at all, and when five evening surgeries plus a weekend’ one brought only four women and three children, she was moved to despair.

‘You'd think the women would want to come and see me,' she burst out to Mrs Pugh as she was having lunch on Sunday afternoon. 'It isn't as if there are any other women doctors in Llanduff. I'm the only one.' ‘Maybe that's why folks are nervous. They aren't as sophisticated here as they are in London,' Mrs Pugh said. 'And women doctors tend to be regarded as a cut above social workers but interfering busybodies nonetheless.’ 'Interfering busybodies!' Kate expostulated. ‘Well, the sort of person who'll take it on herself to interfere in your private life.' 'I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing!' 'I know that,' Mrs Pugh smiled. 'But it's a question of getting the fact across to everyone else.' How do you suggest I do that?' Kate asked bitterly, Tut an advert in the local paper saying all illnesses treated, no questions asked!' There are ways and means of getting things known.’ ‘You mustn't do any touting for me,’ Kate said quickly. The Medical Council could get me struck off. I'll just have to bide my time. If things don't improve ‘I’ll concentrate on the factory and find myself a hobby as well. Taking care of the men won't occupy me full-time.' 'Not unless they all get ill together!' ‘I can do without another outbreak of food poisoning,' Kate said immediately and, imagining Mrs Pugh sprinkling cascara on the canteen food, gave her housekeeper a grin. But as she left the house and went for a walk, her humour gave way to despondency. The boredom she was beginning to feel was both a bad sign and a good one: bad because it made her dissatisfied and good because it meant her health was improving. In a couple of months she would be completely well, and it was then that she would find so much free time intolerable. It was all very well to talk of finding herself a hobby, but medicine was the only thing she cared about and, as such, she had no inclination to occupy herself with anything else. She came to the end of the road and stopped, then decided to go for a long walk and set off up the winding hill, from the top of which she would have an excellent : view of the countryside. It might be an idea to use her free time to specialise in one particular branch of medicine. She could get books sent down from London and pursue a reading course that would enable her to get higher qualifications. When she returned to the group practice, any additional knowledge she brought with her would be welcome.

Pleased that she had found a way of occupying her enforced leisure, she slowed her pace and started to enjoy the scenery. She had branched off down a side lane without being aware of it and found herself on a road she had not traversed before. It was only wide enough for one car and tall hedgerows grew on either side of-her, broken only by an occasional wooden gate that led into a field. Some few hundred yards in the distance the lane forked in two directions and, hoping the left one would bring her back on to familiar territory, she went towards it. To her surprise it was not another road but led to an enchanting-looking cottage nestling in a wild tangle of greenery. As her eyes roamed the bushes and the profusion of flowers she saw it was a carefully planned wilderness; a garden artlessly contrived to look a& if it had not been contrived at all. It was the word artless that made her pause for thought. Was this where Felicity Davis lived? It did not seem to fit the girl, who she felt would be more at home in an elegant flat in Mayfair, but Dermot had said she had one of the loveliest cottages in the district and this one certainly fitted that description. Unwilling to stand here gawping in case she was seen, she cut across the soft ground to the footpath that wound round the back of the cottage and would, she knew, lead her to the road she wanted to reach. It was only as she rounded the side of the cottage that she saw the silver grey Porsche parked in a timber barn. The doors of the barn were open and though no attempt had been made to hide the car, Kate instinctively felt it had been parked here in order not to be seen by prying eyes. Instantly she envisaged two dark glossy black heads close together and blue eyes gazing into warm brown ones. Her body tingled and she quickened her pace, eager to put the cottage behind her. But the thought of the man and the woman in it remained with her almost as if she were a Peeping Tom. That's what comes of living in a small town,' she thought crossly. ‘I’ll soon start making everyone else's business my own! What do I care if Joshua Howard wants to hide the fact that he's spending his time with Felicity Davis?' Yet the fact that he had parked his car out of sight dismayed her, for she had always considered him a man who did what he liked without caring what other people thought. Perhaps his discretion was on Felicity's account? She dismissed this thought at once, for though she barely knew the girl she could not see her wishing to hide her liaison with a man of such importance that his business activities were regularly featured in the national press. The footpath she was on snaked its way across a field of waving com and she was almost lost amidst a yellow-green sea. More green than yellow, she decided, which was an apt colour that befitted her jealousy. The word brought her up short. She had no reason to be jealous of Felicity Davis. True, the girl lived in an idyllic cottage and had the looks which Kate had always admired, but was this sufficient for her to feel such unusual dislike? Heavy-lidded brown eyes hovered in front of her own and a wide, thin-lipped mouth curved in a mocking smile that dissolved into the darkening Hue sky. It was not the cottage or Felicity's looks that she envied but her attraction for Joshua Howard. ‘No!' she said aloud. ‘No, it can't be true.'

But it was true, and many things she had not understood about herself in recent weeks began to clarify. She knew when her dislike of Joshua Howard had changed to awareness, but when had awareness become a more significant longing? Equally important, why had it happened? He represented so much that she abhorred, not the least being his attitude to women. Yet perhaps it was this very attitude which, arousing her anger, had served to keep him constantly in her mind. 'He can't mean anything significant to me,' she thought desperately. 'I only want him to notice me because I think it's the best way of annoying him.' She shook her head. No, that was a lie. She wanted him to be as aware of her as she was of him. She had been blind _ not to have seen danger in the way she had constantly tried to prove her capability to him. She had believed she had wanted to do so merely to make him eat his words but she knew it was much more than this. She didn't only want him to see her as a good doctor but as a woman he could love. She gave a dry laugh. Joshua Howard would never love someone like her. A marmot, he had called her once, a sharp-tongued little marmot. At no stretch of the imagination could one consider that a compliment or a declaration of desire. It was who made him feel that sort of emotion, not a small fair-haired young woman whose profession he regarded as a bull a red rag. Once more she continued to walk. If only she had never come this route tonight! Had she not seen the cottage and the Porsche she might still be in ignorance of her feelings. Yet those feelings would eventually have come to the fore, and might have done so at a time when she would not have had the opportunity of hiding them. The thought that she might have realised Joshua Howard's attraction for her while she had actually been with him filled her with horror. He must never know how she felt, for it would, without question, give him the biggest laugh of his life. It was no surprise to Kate to find she did not sleep well that night, and though in the past months she had grown used to sleeplessness, on this occasion It left her short-tempered and less than her normal sympathetic self to her patients. I’m glad to find you're human, Doctor,' one of the ,men said to her after she had edgily answered a query arid’ then apologised for her brevity. ‘You've been too perfect up to now. The men call you Angel-face.' Kate gaped at him. ‘What a name!' 'It's on account of your hair,' he said. 'It curls round your head and the fact that you've been so gentle and easy-going.' 'No sharp-tongued marmot here,' she thought, and instantly dismissed it. 'Maybe I should make a habit of being bad-tempered,' she grinned. 'It might bring me some more patients.' ‘They'll all be coming to you in time,' the man assured her. 'But even when Dr Morris was here, a lot of them went to their own doctors in Llanduff.'

'It seems a shame not to utilise the doctor here,' she said, 'especially when Mr Howard is paying so heavily for it.’ 'He gets it back in output,’ the man said. ‘But I’ll grant you he's a good employer.' ‘Have you worked here long?' she asked. 'Since I was a boy, and I'm nearly fifty now. I began under Mr Howard's father. Old Josh we called him. This one used to be called the Young Josh. Some of us still do it—though never to his face!' 'I can appreciate why,’ Kate smiled back, and was still amused as she recounted the story to Nurse Evans. ‘Do you want me for evening surgery tonight?' the Woman asked. There'll only be my hand to hold!' Kate said bitterly. ‘I’ll give it another fortnight, then I'll close up and start studying instead.' 'I go to a dressmaking class two evenings a week,’ the nurse confided. That's not for me. I'm hopeless with a needle. I'd never have made a surgeon.' Nurse Evans laughed and started to file the patients' cards that were in her hand. Kate stood up and stretched. It was lunchtime and she was dismayed at the prospect of having to face Joshua. Darn it, now she was thinking of him by his first name; it just showed how treacherous her thoughts were. Before she knew it she would be calling him by his name too. The very idea made her grow hot with embarrassment and she pulled off her jacket Because the weather was warm she wore a silk dress. Sleeveless and figure-fitting, its filmy yellow material made her look like a fresh primrose. I’m going to lunch,’ she said' aloud, and resolutely made her way to the directors dining room. Dermot came forward to greet her. She had deliberately not seen much of him in the last few weeks, afraid that he was becoming serious over her. But today she smiled at him with unusual warmth, knowing she was using him as a shield yet unable to stop herself. A quick glance round the room had told her Joshua Howard was not present, but every fiber of her being was anticipating his arrival. 'Long time no see,’ Dermot handed her a orange juice, knowing she did not drink alcohol during the day when she was working. 'Still too busy to see me in the evening?’ 'I really have been busy,’ she lied, ‘but I'm freer now that I've got things organized.’ 'How about dinner tonight?' ‘That would be lovely.’

‘I’ll call for you at eight,’ They stared at each other and smiled, though Kate's mouth trembled as she saw the door open and the powerful figure of a man come through it. There aren't many directors here.' Kate focused on Dermot as if he were the most important person in the room. They're in London for a seminar. Mr Howard was supposed to go too, but he opted out at the last minute. It was unusual for him not to go. He normally loves these shindigs.’ 'Perhaps he's settling down at last.' 'It isn't that sort of shindig,’ Dermot grinned, It’s strictly business.’ ‘Then perhaps he's decided that all work and no play is no good either!' ‘With Mr Howard it’s all work and all play! He's the only man I know who has twentyfive hours in a day! Kate would have liked to ask Dermot what he meant, but before she could do so luncheon was served and she found herself being placed beside Joshua Howard. 'You're looking pale today, Dr Gibson; not working too hard, I hope?' 'Not working enough,’ she replied. ‘His hand tightened on the stem of his wine glass. ‘Are you tendering your resignation?' This was the last thing she had had in mind, but hearing the question she debated whether it might not be the best thing to do, for she would have no peace of mind as long as she remained close to the man who had destroyed it. But to leave-now would be to concede him victory, and this was something she had no intention of doing. 'Certainly not,’ she said spiritedly. I’m going to remain here until my contract expires at Christmas.' 'And will you then rush back to London without any regrets for the peace of the Welsh countryside?' ‘I am a Londoner born and bred, Mr Howard.' 'Does that mean you couldn't be happy anywhere else?' 'I didn't say that.' 'It's what you implied.' His glance was oblique. Would you be happy to live in Llanduff permanently, for instance?'

'Is your question hypothetical,' she asked dryly, 'or are you offering me the position here on a permanent basis?' He half opened his mouth and then clamped it shut. Compressed, the lips looked thin, though she knew that when he was relaxed they were well curved and sensuous. Quickly she moved her eyes away from them and concentrated on the firm jaw and powerful throat. He wore an impeccably cut suit and she knew that the width of the shoulders owed nothing to padding. There was not an ounce of superfluous fat on him anywhere and she wondered if he did physical exercise to keep fit or whether he watched his diet. ‘Did you enjoy your walk the other evening, Kate?' She was so startled that she almost dropped her fork, though afterwards she was not sure which had given her the most surprise: his question or his calling by her Christian name for the first time. ‘Did you—I didn't know you saw me.' 'I was having supper at Felicity's. I was standing by the dining room window when you walked past.’ 'I saw your car there.' 'Is that why you bolted off like a frightened rabbit?' ‘I didn't bolt off,' she said indignantly. 'But it’s rude to stand and stare at someone's house —particularly if you know who they are.' ‘You should have come in.’ 'I'm sure Miss Davis would have made me very welcome.' She could not keep the skepticism from her voice and he noticed it. ‘Why wouldn't she? Welsh people are extremely hospitable. In the olden days there was always a kettle on the hob for a cup of tea. Now it's whisky and soda’ but ‘ the hospitality is still the same.' ‘You're generalising, Mr Howard. In this particular instance I don't think Miss Davis would have welcomed my intrusion.' ‘Why don't you like her?' he asked abruptly. ‘What makes you think I don't?'

'Because of the shuttered look that has suddenly come over those grey eyes of yours.' He leaned closer and kept his voice low. 'They're the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen— but I'm sure you know that already.’ 'It's always nice to be told,’ she said calmly. ‘Most Women like to be complimented and I'm no different— even though you think I am.' 'I don't think you are different,' he said. 'I know you are.’ Leaving her to ponder the meaning of this, he turned his attention to the man on his other side and was soon engaged in a discussion on aerodynamics. ’Kate tried to follow it, but was soon lost in the welter of technicality, and since the other men at the table were involved in the conversation too, she had no recourse but to fall back on the last thing Joshua had said to her. Had it not been for his liaison with Felicity Davis she would have sworn he was flirting with her. Or perhaps he really was flirting? Because he was having an affair with another woman did not preclude this, jealousy writhed inside her like a hungry serpent, uncoiling to twist itself round her gut. It was impossible to eat and she pushed her food from one side of her plate to the other and finally set her fork down. No one was taking any notice of her and she pushed back her chair and slipped from the room. Nurse Evans was surprised to see her back so early from lunch and Kate confessed that she preferred to eat in the canteen. ‘But you get better food in the directors' dining room,’ the nurse said. I’d rather have a light lunch. Then I can do justice to Mrs Pugh's dinner. She's a marvellous cook.' Further conversation was forestalled by Kate being called to attend a man who had had an accident on one of the lathes, and by the time she returned to the surgery it was full. For the rest of the day Kate had no opportunity to think of anything except her work, and only as she was driving home did her usual feeling of lassitude overcome her, but this time with such overwhelming force that she was obliged to stop her car and slump over the wheel. She had not experienced such a draining of energy since immediately after the fire three months ago, and she was puzzled to know what was causing her to react in the same way today. It could not be the unusual number of patients she had seen today, for even her crowded surgery was in no way as busy as her London practice. A grey car travelling in the opposite direction caught her eye. It was larger and darker than the silver grey Porsche, but it seemed to bring Joshua Howard to mind. The instant heat that pervaded her body gave her the answer to the question of a moment ago. It was not work that had caused this sudden draining of her strength but the knowledge of her love for a man she had—until yesterday—regarded as an enemy. Unrequited love, it seemed, was

as disturbing to one's psyche as a traumatic shock, reawakening deeply buried feelings of childhood insecurity when the need for love was at its greatest. 'I've got to stop thinking about him,' she said aloud, and her voice-r-seeming stronger in the confines of the car—gave her the confidence to believe she could. It was . only the newness of her emotion that made her keep thinking of the-man who had aroused it; the newness and the knowledge that she had never been in love before; 'But I'm not in love with him,' she thought positively. 'It's only physical attraction because he's so masculine and sure of himself. In a few weeks I'll have got over him.' Switching on the engine, she set the car in motion again. Entering the house, she found Mrs Pugh waiting for her with a cup of tea. Hear you had a bit of excitement at the factory, dear.' 'Don't tell me you have a grapevine too!' smiled Kate. 'Who else has got one, then?' 'Nurse Evans.' Mrs Pugh sniffed. The Evans sisters are the biggest gossips in town and they've got the right jobs to further their nosiness, too. Still, Gladys Evans is one of the best cooks in Wales. If's probably why Mr Howard keeps her on. She's been with him from the day he married.' 'Did you know the late Mrs Howard?' Kate asked, perching on the arm of a chair to sip her tea. ‘Most of the people in Llanduff knew her by sight Born and bred in the district she was. One of the landed gentry, you might say. She was Janine Davis before her marriage.' Kate was startled. Davis was a common Welsh name, yet Felicity came instantly to mind. 'I met a Felicity Davis a little while ago,' she said casually. ‘Would she be any relation?' They were cousins. If I'm not mistaken she was a bridesmaid at the wedding.' Mrs Pugh took Kate's empty cup but made no move to go into the kitchen. 'It's a pity Mr-Howard has never married again. But perhaps when you've been so much in love with a woman you don't want to put someone else in her place in case it destroys your memories.' ‘Memories aren't meant to replace life,' Kate said, feeling Mrs Pugh might be remembering her own husband. 'If you try to build something new it doesn't mean you're minimising the happiness you had in the past.’ 'It’s logical you're being now, Dr Gibson,' the woman said, ‘but when you've loved someone it isn't easy to be logical.’

Kate found it hard to picture Joshua pining for a wife dead these past six years. He might not want a second Mrs Howard, but this didn't mean he lived the life of a celibate. ‘Were the two cousins alike?' she asked, still casual ‘Miss Davis is very beautiful.' ‘They were as alike as two peas.' Kate nodded. This could account for Joshua being attracted to Felicity. In loving a seeming reincarnation of his wife he did not feel so guilty. Yet if this were the case, why hadn't he married her? She pushed the question aside and stood up, glancing through the window as she did so and astonished to see two women walking round the side of the house to the surgery. 'Good heavens, Mrs Pugh! I believe I've got some patients.' 'After the patience you've shown,' the housekeeper quipped, 'you deserve them!' Hurriedly Kate donned her white jacket and went into the waiting room to beckon the first woman in. By the time she had dealt with the two patients four more were waiting and there were also several telephone calls. By the time she returned to the dining room for dinner her lethargy was once more forgotten in pleasurable excitement. She looked at the table, surprised that it was not yet laid for dinner and was just about to ask Mrs Pugh what was the matter when she remembered that Dermot was calling for her at eight’ o'clock to take her out. With a gasp she hurried to the kitchen and found her housekeeper sitting over a bowl of soup. 'I'm sorry, Mrs Pugh,' she apologised. 'I forgot to tell you ‘I’ll be out to dinner, though you obviously know.' ’Mrs Hughes told me when I saw her at the butchers this afternoon.' 'Does everyone know everybody else's affairs in this town?' Kate asked with wry exasperation. 'Only the important people,' Mrs Pugh said with a twinkle. Thanks for telling me I rate among the important ones!' 'A doctor always does.' The telephone rang and Kate hurried to answer it, almost dropping the receiver as Joshua Howard's deep voice came over the line. ‘Why didn't you stay and finish your lunch?’ he asked without preamble. ‘I wasn't hungry.'

'I hope you are having dinner instead?' ‘With Dermot,’ she replied coolly. 'Did you call me for anything specific, Mr Howard?' 'Yes, Dr Gibson. To invite you to a luncheon party on Saturday. My mother would like to meet you.' ‘That's very kind of you, but——-' ‘You're not doing anything else,' he interrupted crisply, 'and there will be other guests here as well, including Dermot.' 'In that case I'll accept,' she said equally crisply. 'Good. Make it twelve-thirty for one.' He hung up without giving her a chance to do so first, which annoyed her so much that she banged the receiver on the rest and stalked upstairs to change. ‘I gather we'll be guests at the same party on Saturday,' she told Dermot as she sat opposite him in the madhouse restaurant an hour later. 'How dressed up should I get?' 'As if for Ascot—but without the hat and the gloves I You could take a swimsuit too. There's a swimming pool and a tennis court and stables.’ 'All mod cons.,’ she murmured. 'How long does one stay there?' 'Until about six. .Sometimes he has a. house party for the weekend and then luncheon guests stay all evening.' 'I can't see Mr Howard as a convivial host. He strikes me as being too impatient and restless.' ‘You couldn't be more wrong,’ Dermot assured her. 'I once told you he's a man who works hard and plays hard. I went to the States with him last year and we stopped off in Bermuda for a few days' rest. He sunned himself by the pool from eight in the morning till six at night, then he played chemmy till three the next morning. Some rest,’ he added, ‘but that was his way of relaxing. In England he never goes near a gaming table. Even when he's taken out to clubs by business associates I've never known him to place a bet.' ‘That only shows how inconsistent he is!' ‘He's complex,’ Dermot corrected. 'At least until you get to know him,’ 'I don't think I'll ever get to know him,’ Kate admitted. 'He's alien to me,’

'Am I?' Dermot reached out for her hand and, regretting that the conversation had taken this intimate tone, she tried to bring it back to a lighter level. You aren't alien at all. I know you from cover to cover. Then you know I'm in love with you?' Since this was exactly the declaration she had hoped to avoid, she looked at him helplessly. 'Oh Dermot, no!' 'Oh Kate, yes, The humour left his face as he saw her expression. 'Don't I stand a chance?’ he asked. She hesitated, not sure if it was wiser to let bin guess her answer or to be blunt and put it into words. But her hesitation answered for her and he released her hand. 'Are you in love with someone else?' ‘No,’ she said swiftly. 'Not unless you count my profession.’ 'In that case I won't give up.’ She longed to tell him that he should, but thought better of it. She could not live in Llanduff without the companionship of other people and this inevitably meant she would have to see something of Dermot. She must just avoid seeing him too often. ‘I’ll collect you on Saturday,’ he said as he drove her home after dinner. 'Are you sure you want to?' 'Don't be silly. Forget what I said' before, Kate. I wouldn't have told you so soon except that you looked very lovely and I forgot my good intentions.’ 'You're sweet, Dermot,’ she said huskily, and was rewarded by a wry smile. ‘What a description! It's nearly as bad as saying you love me like a brother!' 'I might say that too when I know you better,’ 'If you're trying to tell me there's no hope for me, then forget it. I don't give in easily and I'll still go on trying to make you change your mind,’ 'I wish you wouldn't,’ she said miserably. 'I don't want to have you on my conscience,’ 'It's good to be on a good woman's conscience. That’s one way of getting her sympathy.'

'But not her love,’ Kate responded. 'I'm not so sure,’ Dermot's glance was quizzical. 'Anyway, I'm in your life and that's where I'm going to stay till you marry someone else,’ CHAPTER NINE Saturday dawned fine and clear with the temperature in the! seventies. Kate could not quell her excitement and was glad she had morning surgery to prevent her counting the hours until she saw Joshua in his home. She had already decided what to wear, having given the matter unusual thought. Nothing could make her look sophisticated, so there was no point trying to compete with tall dark beauties, but she would at least make the best of herself and play up her good points for all she was worth. To this end she wore a frankly feminine dress in pale green lawn, the material so fine that it resembled chiffon. The neckline was lower than she normally wore, but though she was small she was perfectly formed, and the top of her breasts made a delightful curve behind the soft frill that edged the low-cut collar. A wide belt of matching fabric made her waist appear a hand's span, and the bias-cut skirt swung provocatively round her knees yet at the same time clung to the rounded curve of her hips. High-heeled sandals completed the picture and though she wore no jewellery her eyes sparkled and made further adornment unnecessary. Nervousness had brought a wild pink flush to her cheeks and agitation, as it always did, 'gave her hair extra curl, making the feathery blonde ends appear even more feathery as they lifted away from her ears. 'You look sweet sixteen and never been kissed,' Dermot said as he greeted her. 'I positively refuse to believe you're a doctor.’ ‘For that I've a good mind to bring my stethoscope along!' He laughed. ‘People will just think you're playing at hospitals.' ‘That’s exactly what I used to do as a kid.' She tot lowed him to the car. 'How far is the Hall?’ she asks as he let off the brake. 'Over the hill and far away!' 'Seriously,' she said. ‘Who wants to be serious on a day like this? Relax, Kate, we're going to have fun.' She tried to tell herself he was right, but instead felt as tightly coiled as an over wound spring. What a pity she had decided against taking a tranquilliser. Yet she had deliberately refrained, wanting to know that she could control her emotions over Joshua without recourse to drugs. Only then would she feel genuinely in command of herself.

They reached Joshua's house sooner than she had anticipated and it came upon her as a surprise: a low, rambling stone manor with mullioned windows and a somewhat austere front softened by glossy green creepers. It was not as large as she had expected, but inside was infinitely more luxurious, with a patina of age and care on the exquisite antique furniture. There was no one in the hall to greet them, but Dermot led her across the gleaming parquet floor and through a low-ceilinged rectangular room set with settees and armchairs of rose brocade to a creeper-covered terrace and thence to a lawn as lush as velvet and twice as smooth. It was here that everyone was sitting, the women in their bright coloured dresses looking like flowers dotted on the lawn, the men no less colourful in vivid slacks and shirts. In a first swift glance Kate saw Felicity Davis close to Joshua, then he rose and came forward to greet them. Like his guests he too was casually dressed, but all in black, beautifully cut trousers and a wild silk shirt through which could be seen the bronze gleam of his skin and the thick tangle of hair on his chest. It was short sleeved and his arms were as strong and muscular as she had known they would be. Her throat was dry and she swallowed, trying to see him as a particularly fine male specimen and not as a man who overwhelmingly impinged on her mind. He greeted her, but she was not aware of replying and felt his hand come out to clasp hers as he drew her forward and introduced her to an elderly woman—a smaller grey-haired version of himself—with the same piercing dark eyes and strong features; 'So you are Dr Gibson.' Mrs Howard patted the chair beside her for Kate to take it. 'You are exactly the way my son described you.' Kate longed to ask how this had been and, glancing up at Joshua, saw from his sardonic expression that he had. read her mind. 'Do tell her, Mother, or she'll die of curiosity!' Mrs Howard's eyes twinkled as she looked at Kate. 'He said he felt like Goliath to your David!' 'I have yet to fell him,' Kate rejoined, and the laughter that greeted this remark lessened the tension and made her feel that perhaps today was not going to be so bad after all. 'I think I'll have to amend my description, though,' Joshua leaned slightly towards her. 'In that get-up you look less like David and more like the Queen of Lilliput!' 'I do wish you wouldn't keep on about my size,' she protested. ‘I can go on about things, but they might embarrass you more.' 'Really, Mr Howard!' 'Stop it, Joshua,' his mother ordered. 'Can't you see you're embarrassing the poor girl?'

'A doctor shouldn't be embarrassed by such things,' he replied unrepentantly. 'I'm going to be all woman today,' Kate said, and instantly regretted the words as she saw his eyes narrow. ‘I’m glad to hear it I'll test it out for myself later on.' With a lithe movement he moved forward to greet some other guests, leaving Kate to look wryly at his mother. 'Don't let Joshua's teasing worry you, my dear,’ the woman said. 'He'll get worse if he knows he's riling you.’ ‘That much I've already learned about him!' 'Good. I rather thought you had.' Mrs Howard folded plump hands on her lap. 'How do you like living in Llanduff, Dr Gibson?' 'I like it very much—and please call me Kate.' The woman nodded. 'If's better here than it used to be, Before television people had nothing to occupy themselves with except other people's business. If I———' She turned as a child came running across the lawn from the direction of the swimming pool, which lay like a vast blue sapphire on the lower lawn. Kate knew at once that it was Joshua's daughter, not because she looked like her father but because she could have passed for Felicity's child. 'Come here, Janey, I'd like you to meet someone,' her grandmother called, and the child approached them in a rush and held out her hand politely. dose to her, Kate saw she was too thin and heard the rasp of her breathing. 'I think you stayed in the water too long,' her grandmother said. ‘You're out of breath.' 'It isn't the water. Gran, it's the pollen count It's high today.' 'Do you have hay fever?' Kate asked casually. ‘Yes,' the child said, 'and it makes my asthma worse.’ Poor child, Kate thought, and knew this was the reason for her thinness. Unless she was misjudging the, signs, the child was badly asthmatic. 'Do you have an inhaler?' she asked. 'I couldn't live without it.' The reply was factual and not dramatic. I’m sure you could,' Kate replied. Think of all the people who had asthma before inhalers were invented.'

‘What did they do?' the little girl inquired. ‘Don't get Dr Gibson talking about her work, Janey.' Joshua Howard had come up unheard and he ruffled his daughter's dark hair and then turned her to face the house. 'Get out of that swimming costume and into something dry.' ‘But——' Then you can come down and join us for lunch,’ he interrupted. 'But——-' ‘But, but, but,' he said. ‘You sound like a one-stroke engine! Now go and do as I say.' Giggling, the child ran off and her father looked at Kate. 'Come and see the pool,' he said abruptly, and pulled her to her feet. Standing, she was even more conscious of him towering over her and she moved quickly ahead. He caught up with her in one large pace and put his hand on the top of her arm. His fingers were surprisingly soft and they moved lightly up and down her skin. They reached the steps- leading to the lower level and he led her down them and across to the pool, where a wide surround of mosaic was partially covered by gaily coloured lounging chairs and several small tables with shady parasols. 'How lovely,’ she exclaimed. 'But what happens when it rains?' What a pessimist you are! At the moment the sun is shining and all's right with the world.' His hand- slid down her arm to catch her hand. 'Is everything all-right with your world, Kate, or are you still running away from it?' She glanced at him quickly and then looked away. ’I don't know what you mean.' 'I think you do. Under the prim and efficient aura you present to the world—which incidentally you are not presenting at the moment, because right now you look as delicious as a peppermint cream —- you're a frightened little girl.' ‘What nonsense you talk, Mr Howard!' ‘Don't you think you know me well enough to call me Joshua?' ‘Dermot doesn't,' she pointed out. ‘He isn't as beautiful as you are. She couldn't help smiling and he squeezed her fingers so tightly that her smile turned into a gasp.

‘You're hurting me!’ ‘Because I'd like to kiss you.' ‘Really!' she exclaimed. ‘Really,' he said, deliberately misunderstanding her. ‘Don't flirt with me.' She pulled her hand free from his grasp.' ‘Why do you object?' he asked, falling into step with her as she moved slowly round the pool. 'I'm free, white and over twenty-one, or am I too much over twenty-one?' 'Don't be silly. You're an attractive man and I'm sure you know it.' 'I do,' he said calmly, 'though this is the first time you've given any indication of noticing it yourself.’ ‘You don't need me to notice how attractive you are.' ‘But I do need you.' A burst of laughter from the lawn above him made him give an exclamation of irritation. 'I have to play host, Kate. Will you forgive me if I take you back?' ‘I’ll forgive you much more than if you stand, keeps talking nonsense.' He gave a sharp intake of breath and momentarily the softness went from his mouth. 'Not just a peppermint ice in that green dress of yours. There's a touch of bitter lemon somewhere around.' Before she could reply he caught her hand again and pulled her along beside him. Although he was not walking fast she had to run to keep pace with him, and she was breathless when they reached the steps, so much so that he noticed the rise and fall of her breasts and stopped, contrite. I’m sorry, Kate. I didn't know I was going so fast.’ ‘You weren't going fast,’ she said quickly, but I still tire quickly.' ‘Poor darling.' He squeezed her hand and then let it drop as he mounted the steps to rejoin his guests. Janey was back beside her grandmother, this time in a bright cotton dress, and she sat cross-legged on the grass . and watched everyone in a speculative way, as if she were trying to analyse them. It was a strange look for a child to have and Kate wondered if the

child acted older than her age because she was motherless or because she did not spend enough time with youngsters of her own age. 'Come and sit next to me, Janey,' Felicity Davis called, and Kate saw the little girl stiffen as if she wanted to refuse, but she thought better of it and went slowly towards her cousin. As Kate had expected, Felicity commanded the scene, her vivid colouring and sophisticated clothes making all the other women seem unfashionable by comparison: daisies and marguerites competing against an orchid. From the comer of her eye Kate saw Felicity put a suntanned arm over Janey's thin shoulders and at the same time look over the child's head to Joshua who, poised by -the drinks trolley, was watching the little cameo. Instinctively Kate knew the girl had not called Janey over because she liked her but because she wished to create the impression that she would make a good stepmother. Yet why should one condemn her for doing that? If Felicity wanted to marry Joshua she had the right to make herself as desirable as possible to him. Only the hardness in the bright blue eyes spoilt the picture of devoted maternal affection, and seeing the way Janey was still tense within the circle of her arms, Kate knew that though Felicity might be fooling the father she was not fooling the child. The chair creaked beside her and she was glad to see Dermot, who suddenly seemed less complicated than her own thoughts. 'Lovely house, isn't it?' he murmured. 'Lovely. And beautifully cared for.’ The credit for that goes to Mrs Howard. Left to his own devices our big white chief would be happy to live in his office.' Kate laughed, then said curiously: ‘Don't you ever call him Joshua? I notice he calls you Dermot.' 'He's my boss and he can call me anything,’ he grinned, 'but he's never suggested I drop the Mr mid I wouldn't have the nerve to ask him.' 'I don't believe that.' 'It's true. Mr Howard isn't a man who lets you get on to a Christian name basis with him unless he knows you in a personal capacity.' 'But the other directors——-' ‘Have all known him since he was a boy.' She wondered what Dermot would say when he learned that Joshua had asked her to call him by his first name, and considered it prudent to hold her tongue. She had not called him by it yet and could not imagine herself doing so. But how well the name fitted him.

Joshua —the leader—strong in his belief that he was right and with the power to implement that belief. She tried and failed to imagine him married and was curious to know more about the sort of woman his wife had been. She had been killed before Dermot had come on the scene, but he might know something about her. 'I understand the late Mrs Howard looked very much like Felicity Davis,' she remarked off-handed! 'So I believe. But I gather Janine was gayer and certainly younger.' 'Younger?' Seeing Kate's surprise, Dermot smiled. ‘She wouldn't be younger than Felicity then. But she was nineteen when Mr Howard married her and twenty-four when she was killed. That would have put her a few years younger than Felicity is today. She was very keen on hunting and I rather think she liked horses better-than her daughter.' 'And Mr Howard?' 'He rides, but he isn't obsessed by it the way his wife was.' 'And the obsession killed her,' Kate commented, 'the way obsessions sometimes do.' Then don't let work kill you.' ‘Work isn't my obsession,' she protested. ‘You give the impression you aren't interested in anything else—or could it be you just aren't interested in me?' She averted her eyes and he gave an audible sigh and leaned back in his chair. Kate did the same, and still keeping her eyes turned, saw Janey staring at her. The child was no longer standing near Felicity and had moved to the edge of a flower bed where she was idly kicking at the border. Kate stood up and surprised herself by going over to her. She did not know why she did it. All she knew was a deep pity for Janey's aloneness. ‘You look as if you're bored with all the grown-up chatter,’ she said lightly. 'Care to show me the garden?' Silently the child turned and led the way down the path. ‘My father has already shown you the swimming pool, now I'll show you the one that I like best of all.' She plunged ahead? gathering speed as she descended the sloping lawn. Within a moment they were out of sight of the house—for the level dropped sharply—and the well-tended lawns were replaced by wild-looking shrubs.

‘Mind the brambles!' Janey called, but her warning came too late, for Kate found herself imprisoned by prickly green stems. 'I'm afraid the brambles are minding me,’ Kate chuckled, and tried to set herself free. But each time she moved, other brambles dung to her and Janey &ad to come back and help to set her free. ‘You walked straight into the bushes,' she said solemnly. 'Don't you know not to do that?' 'I'm afraid I'm not very knowledgeable about gardens,’ Thankfully Kate stepped free and on to the path again. ‘What bushes are they?' 'Blackberries. In August they'll be full of fruit. Grannie always lets me pick them,’ That must take you a long time.’ 'I have nothing else to do in the holidays,’ 'Don't you have any friends?’ 'I prefer to be alone with my grandmother and my father,’ the child said fiercely. 'I don't like it when we have visitors,’ ‘You make me feel as if I'm in the way!' smiled Kate. Janey eyed her. 'You might not be,’ she said magnanimously. 'I mean you haven't fallen over me and said how beautiful I am.’ I’m sorry, should I have done?' 'No. Because I wouldn't have believed you even if you had. I'm not beautiful. I'm a very plain child.' Kate laughed and then instantly sobered. 'I didn't mean to be rude, Janey, but if's such a funny thing to say.' 'It’s the truth,’ 'I don't agree with you. You aren't beautiful yet, but you aren't plain. You have a very distinctive face.' ‘What does that mean?' 'It means you're unusual. Different in an interesting way.'

‘Felicity says I have good bones and that she would like to paint me, but I don't think she means it. She only Says it because she thinks it will make Daddy love her.’ ‘You still haven't shown me your special pool,’ Kate said hastily, and began to walk on. Janey raced ahead and then stood squarely in front of her, arms akimbo. ‘You don't talk much for a grownup.’ There's no point talking when you have nothing to say,' Kate replied. Ton don't look like a doctor.' 'Is that because I'm a woman?’ 'It's because you're pretty. Is your hair real or do you dye it?' 'It's quite real,' Kate assured the child. 'It always looks streaky blonde in the summer.' She glanced over her .shoulder. 'I think we'd better go back, it's nearly lunch-time.' ‘You must see my pool first.' Janey turned and plunged forward, then disappeared round a bend. Kate followed and then gave a gasp of delight. Ahead of her lay a small natural lake some twenty yards across and about double that in length. It was bordered by trees and a large weeping willow, beneath which was moored a small boat. 'Sometimes I have a picnic in the middle of the lake,' Janey announced. 'But I fell in a few months ago and Daddy says I mustn't go out in the boat again unless I have a grownup watching me.' ‘That’s very sensible of him.' They began to retrace their steps and Janey looked up at Kate with a confiding smile. The lake is much nicer than the swimming pool, isn't it?' 'It's quite different,' Kate replied. ‘You can't go boating in the swimming pool, but on the other hand I think it's much nicer for swimming.' 'It's like people,’ Janey said. ‘We like different people for different reasons and some we don't like at all,’ Sensing another indiscretion on the way, Kate quickened her step. 'Do you go to school in Llanduff?' she asked. ‘I go to a private one on the other side of the valley. But sometimes I can't go because of my asthma and one of the teachers comes along and gives me private coaching. It’s much nicer than a big school,’ Janey added, 'though Daddy says if I grow out of my asthma he'll send me to a boarding school.’

‘Would you like that?' 'No,’ Janey said fiercely, 'and I'm not going to go. She wants me to go because she knows I don't like her,’ Kate knew the conversation had veered towards Felicity again and she decided that Janey's animosity stemmed from jealousy. Obviously Janey resented her father feeling affection for anyone other than herself and she possibly thought it also smacked of disloyalty to her mother's memory. 'Do you like Felicity?' Janey demanded so directly that an answer could hot be avoided. 'I've only met her a couple of times, but she seems very nice. She's your cousin, isn't she?' 'A very, very distant one,’ 'I understand she looks like your mother. I should think that would make you like her,’ 'I didn't know my mother very well,’ Janey said artlessly. 'I had a nanny to look after me. She only left me last year because she went to see her sister in Australia. But I didn't mind her going, 'cos she always treated me like a baby and I'm not.’ ‘You're certainly not,’ Kate agreed. ‘You're ten and very sensible,’ Janey gave a hop and a skip and started to chant: 'I'm sensible, sensible, very, very sensible,’ which immediately belied the fact and made Kate warm to her, and at the same time feel saddened that a child who was so easy to make happy should still exude such an air of being misunderstood.. Doubtless she was well cared for and loved, but the love was not given in a way she could understand. If Janey were her child… She quickened her steps and came up on to the lawn to find Dermot coming towards her. ‘We were just about to send out a search party for you,' he said. ‘Lunch is ready and Mr Howard wants you.’ 'If only he did!' Kate thought wistfully, and followed Dermot to the house. CHAPTER TEN Lunch was served in the panelled dining room where the dark wood of the walls was repeated in the solid Welsh furniture: long refectory table, carved sideboard and straightbacked chairs made comfortable by tapestry seats where golden rust colour was echoed in the curtains at the windows, and a surprisingly elegant-looking sideboard. But if the furnishings were Welsh, the food was decidedly cosmopolitan, beginning with a quiche, followed by fresh Scotch salmon with Italian asparagus and concluding with a magnificent cheese board.

Janey sat a few places down the table from Kate, who noticed automatically that the child barely touched her food. She looked flushed too, and Felicity Davis commented how pretty Janey looked with pink cheeks. 'It makes your eyes look even bluer than they are,’ she said. ‘My eyes can't be bluer than they are already.' Felicity looked amused as she turned to Joshua. ‘You must let me paint her. You know how good I am with children's portraits.’ 'I know how successful you are with them,' Joshua teased and, under cover of the general laughter, Kate looked questioningly at Dermot. 'Didn't you know she was a portrait painter?' he said softly. Kate shook her head. So that was why the name Felicity Davis had been familiar to her. If her wits had been working properly she would have realised who she was immediately, for last year Peter had taken her to an exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery and they had both been impressed by the extremely vital portraits of a new artist; of Felicity, in fact. Kate glanced at the clear-cut profile, smooth white skin and jet black hair. Yes, the paintings were as full of vitality as the young woman who had painted them. No chocolate box likeness had marred the dozen canvases hanging up for display, rather had each one been a detailed and ruthless character analysis. Looking at the child's scowling face, Kate could not see Felicity depicting her in any Mattering form. Indeed if she painted with her usual honesty, then the sitter's animosity was bound to be visible on the canvas. ‘Do say I can paint her!' The laughter round the table had died and Felicity's voice could be heard. 'I shouldn't need more than three or four sittings.' 'How about it, Janey?' Joshua asked. 'I fancy a portrait of you. I could hang it up in the library and see it when I’m working there.' ‘

Janey's whole face lit up with pleasure and Kate was sure Joshua had been very deliberate in what he had just said. Oh, he was a man to be reckoned with. ‘Will you put it in a gold frame?' the child inquired. ‘We shall have to decide when we see the finished portrait.' Dark eyes turned to Felicity. When will you start?' Tomorrow—before either of you have a chance to change your mind. I'll do the sittings here, though. I think Janey will be happier in her own surroundings.'

And it would also give Felicity a chance to be in Joshua's home, Kate thought cynically, and was angry that a woman who was so beautiful should also have such talent. A great deal of the publicity she had read about her came back into her mind, and she found it hard to accept that Felicity would be willing to keep her talent cloistered in a Welsh valley when for so many years she had been queening it in the capital cities of the world. But perhaps Felicity had grown tired of the social round and now she had achieved fame, did not wish to go on courting it. Besides, sitters wont come knocking at her door rather than the other way round, and she was no doubt in the enviable position of being able to paint wherever she wished to live, be it New York, London or Llanduff. ‘You're looking very pensive, Kate.' With a start Kate found Joshua speaking directly to her, the first time he had done so since they had walked together by the swimming pool. 'I was thinking how wonderful it must be to have a talent like Miss Davis's,’ she said. ‘What's wrong with your talent?' Silver-grey eyes were puzzled. 'I have no talent.' ‘You are an excellent doctor and you have a gift for making your patients talk to you. I consider that to be a talent.' Kate was astonished and Felicity—who had overheard the comment—flung her a look that was far from friendly. But her voice, when she spoke to Joshua, was disarmingly artless. 'Surely to be a good doctor one only needs a good memory and the ability to pass examinations?' 'Does technical dexterity with a brush turn a painter into an artist?' Joshua asked. ‘You know it doesn't But with medicine——' To be a good doctor you have to have more than an understanding of illness,’ Joshua cut in. ‘You need to understand people and what makes' them react and respond. Some of it you can learn, but if you can ally it to your own intuition and feeling, then I'd call it a talent!' Kate's pleasure at hearing this—especially coming from Joshua—was marred by the suspicion that his praise of her was uttered merely to irritate Felicity. Certainly the anger in the bright blue eyes indicated that she was rising to the bait. Unwilling to let herself be used for this purpose, she intervened into the conversation. 'I appreciate the compliment you're trying to pay me, Mr Howard, but I don't think one can compare a doctor's ability with that of an artist.'

That’s what the artists say,’ he replied at once. ‘But then they like to build up a mystique around themselves. So do writers.' ‘Now they really do have a mystique.' Dermot came into the conversation and with a faint sigh of relief Kate let the talk wash around her. She glanced to where Janey was sitting and was surprised to see the seat empty and a half-eaten peach on the plate. The man on Kate's other side spoke to her and she forced herself to listen to him. She had been so intent on Felicity and Joshua that she had given little thought to the other guests who were, for the most part, county types and business people. If you decide to leave Joshua,' the man on her left said, 'come and see me before you think of returning to London. I've a mind to start a private medicine scheme of my own.' 'Isn't it too expensive?' 'No doubt of it, but you gain a great deal for what you expend. I thought Joshua was mad when he first started his scheme, but now I see how right it was. Dashed irritating, mind you,' he muttered. 'I keep waiting to get the last laugh on him, but in ten years I've never succeeded. Still, he works like fury and he takes chances, and that’'s what big business is all about.' Quick steps at the dining room door caused a momentary lull in the conversation. It was a young maid, and immediately upon seeing her, Joshua's mother looked concerned. 'Joshua!' she called even as the maid bent forward to whisper into her ear and the man immediately pushed back his chair. 'Janey?' he said in half statement, half question and, at her nod, hurried out. Kate longed to ask what was wrong, but she was here as a guest, not a doctor—even though she knew that had she not been one, she would not be here today. Indeed had it not been for her profession she would never have met Joshua, for in ordinary circumstances their Uses were as far apart as their ideas and beliefs undoubtedly were. She was still mulling this over when Joshua returned to the dining room. His voice, always crisp, was now razor sharp as he spoke to his mother. 'Parker is away for the weekend and his locum is out and hasn't left word how he can be contacted. Are you sure you can't find that inhaler?' ‘We've hunted everywhere for it,’ his mother said, and had no chance to say more, for her son hurried from the room again. Kate was unable to keep quiet, but before she could speak, Mrs Howard noticed the jerky movement she had made in her chair and looked at her. 'Janey is having a mild asthma attack. At least it would be mild if we could find her inhaler. A couple of puffs and she'd be fine.'

‘Where does she normally keep it?' 'In her room. But it's just been redecorated and I've a feeling the inhaler was accidentally thrown out when the contents of Janey's toy cupboard was sent to the local hospital.' ‘Would you like me to go up and see her?' Kate suggested. 'I don't have any medicine with me, but I might be able to help.' Mrs Howard rose immediately and led Kate into the hall. 'So silly of me, my dear,’ she apologised. 'I know you're a doctor at the factory, but I never thought of asking if you could help Janey.' Since Joshua had not appeared to think, of it either— which Kate thought gave a genuine indication of his belief in her, despite his earlier panegyric—she nodded in silence and hurried up the stairs to Janey's bedroom. It was furnished as though for a teenager, with pale sycamore fittings, white shaggy wallto-wall carpeting and delicate pink and white brocade drapes at the windows. But it was the little girl on the bed who held her attention. Taut as a violin string, scarlet of face and with huge anguished eyes, she looked nothing like the child who had solemnly shown Kate her favourite hide-away in the garden. 'I take it you haven't found the inhaler?' she commented crisply. Joshua Howard straightened from the bed and shook his head. He was so pale that it gave greyness to his swarthy skin. It made his hair look more black and this in turn made the grey in it more noticeable. All this Kate noticed in a split second before she walked over to the bed and calmly sat down on its edge. Janey was struggling to 'draw breath and it wheezed painfully between her parted lips, filling her lungs so slowly that she must, Kate thought, be wondering whether she would ever be able to draw in enough air to breathe. 'If only I had my medical bag with me!’ she thought in desperate frustration. Habit made her take it with her whenever she went out in the car, but being collected by Dermot today she had not given it a thought. But there must be something she could do to ease the child's condition. 'Don't be worried, Janey,' she said softly, and gently pulled her into a sitting position. Tut the pillows behind her,’ she said to Joshua, who did so immediately and remained by the bed, every muscle alert, mouth taut with anguish. Janey looked at him and then at Kate; her mouth opened and words squeezed out. 'I… can't… breathe.’ You'll be able to breathe in a moment,' Kate lied. There's an excellent new treatment for asthmatics which you probably don't know of in wild Welsh Wales!' She felt rather than saw Joshua give an impatient movement, but she ignored him and concentrated entirely

on the little girl, her grey eyes staring into the bright blue ones. Janey's face was covered with sweat which ran in rivulets down her temples and Kate moved along the bed and pot her hands on the heaving shoulders. ‘I’ll show you how to do this new treatment Janey, but you have to help me by relaxing. Let your whole body go limp.' 'I can't.. I— I must breathe.' 'I know you must breathe, darling, and I know it's a struggle for you. But you've got to relax at the same time. Look, I'll show you how. Let your arm go limp so that when I lift it up and drop it, it will flop down on the bed. That's What I mean by relaxing,’ She suited the action to the words arid smiled reassuringly as Janey obeyed her. There, you see you can relax if you try. Now I want you to do the same with your whole body. Both your arms, your legs and your shoulders.' As Kate itemised each part of Janey's body she placed her hands on it, making her voice low and even, and kept up a nonstop flow of words that would have made no sense if taken apart and yet nonetheless acted like a soothing balm upon the child on the bed. This is a very new and marvellous treatment I'm giving you, Janey,' Kate repeated. 'In a way it's like magic. I'm sure you can already feel it beginning to work. Your breathing is getting easier, isn't it? I can tell, by the way your body is relaxing.' She went on talking, her eyes never leaving Janey's, holding them in a gaze so intense that the grey seemed to. mingle with the blue and Kate felt as if she were merging with the figure on the bed. For an uncountable length of time she continued to talk, knowing how imperative it was that she hold Janey's attention and give the child no opportunity to think of anything except the special treatment she was receiving. Slowly, imperceptibly, she felt the thin body start to relax properly: the muscles slackened, the tautness of the throat softened, but still she went on talking, and only when Janey herself spoke clearly and said she felt much better did Kate straighten from her bending position and rise. Her concentration had been so intense that her head was throbbing and the room seemed to revolve. She felt Joshua's hand on her waist, warm and strong as he. supported her, though he did not speak to her, for he knew she was still preoccupied with his daughter. 'I still want you to rest quietly, Janey,' she said, ‘but I suggest you sit up against the pillows,' ‘Will you stay here with me?' 'Of course.' Janey looked at her father. 'And you too, Daddy?' ‘I have to see to my guests, but I'll be up again.'

Kate moved away from Joshua's protective hand and resumed her seat on the bed. 'If you have a book, ‘I’ll read you a story. This new treatment I've given you might make you tired and you'll probably like to have a sleep.' ‘You won't go away if I fall asleep, will you?' ‘Not if you don't want me to do so,' Kate said. 'I promise to stay here until you wake up.' ‘You won't keep your promise—grown-ups never do.' 'I do,' Kate said firmly, and reaching over to the pile of books on the bedside table, selected one. She opened it and was about to start reading when Joshua's hand came down on the page—a gesture that made her look up at him. His face had not regained its colour and she knew -he was still distressed by the sight of his daughter struggling to breathe. Even to a doctor it was a painful thing to watch, but for a parent it must be agonising. 'Janey will be fine,' she reassured him softly. ‘You don't mind staying up here?’ ‘Without being rude to you, Mr Howard, I think I prefer it!' 'I'm sure you do,' he said solemnly. 'One doesn't need to be a diagnostician to know that! And incidentally, it's Joshua, not Mr Howard.' He glanced at his daughter. 'I'll be back later, poppet. In the meantime don't forget to do as the doctor says.’ ‘Do you always do as the doctor says, Daddy?’ ‘If she's as beautiful as Dr Gibson!’ Janey chuckled weakly and, as the door closed behind her father, snuggled against the pillows. For the first ten minutes Janey listened avidly to the story Kate read to her, but then the sharpness left her eyes and the blueness dulled as the lids lowered and rose, and finally settled in slumber. To make sure she was sleeping, Kate read another paragraph before closing the book and rising. She stretched her arms wide and then went quietly to the window. The room faced east, which meant it received the morning sunshine and was cool in the afternoon. It overlooked the front of the house and she saw that cars were still parked in the drive. Dermot had said that guests frequently stayed for the evening and she hoped this wasn't going to happen, for she could not face the prospect of chatting about nothing to Felicity or, worse still, watching Joshua chat to her. Once more she experienced an unfamiliar stab of jealousy and tried unsuccessfully to-fight it. But she had been fighting it ever since she had stepped into the house at lunchtime, and she no longer had the strength to do so.

Trembling, she collapsed into the nearest chair. She mustn't go on thinking about Joshua. What she felt for him was an attraction that stemmed from his magnificent physique and domineering personality. It had nothing to do with the basic character of the man. ‘I'm in love with love,' she thought gloomily. 'Coming to Llanduff has made me realise all the fun I've missed by dedicating myself to a career. You work .for so long that it's a shock when you suddenly find you've been missing oat on all the fun and flirtation of being young. I'm an ageing spinister with teenage dreams,' she mused. 'Still looking for a prince on a white horse and thinking I've found him in Joshua!' Restlessly she stirred. What was the point of lying to herself? She did not believe a single word of thoughts. If she had merely been looking for romance, Dermot would have been a far better choice; He was young, handsome, nearer her own age and—even more important—emotionally free. Instead of which she had Mien for a dark-haired demon who would want to rule Ms womenfolk the way he ruled his company. At a luncheon party he-might pay lip service to a woman with a career, but he would never be able to tolerate such a person in his own life. The woman he married would have to put her career—should he allow her to continue with it—a long way behind him, his children and his home. His children. She glanced at Janey and saw other fantasy children with her: a boy with Joshua's dark brown gaze and staggering build; a girl with the same brown eyes but soft fair hair with streaks of blonde. Oh God! She bent forward in anguish, her head buried in her hands, tears trickling through her closed lids to wet her palms. But she dared not cry lest she awake Janey, and she dried her eyes and sat up straight, regretting her promise to stay here, but knowing she could not break it. With a sigh she rested her head against the cushioned back of the chair and closed her eyes. Perhaps she would have a doze too. The warmth of the sun streamed through the window pane and heated her skin. It reminded her of flames and brought with it memories she still had to fight to keep at bay. Determinedly she averted her mind and started to count sheep jumping over a fence; grey sheep, black sheep, some with speckled grey hair. A feeling that she was being watched made Kate open her eyes. Dark brown ones were bent towards her, so near that she could see her pale hair reflected in them. A tide of colour flooded into her cheeks and she struggled to sit up, finding it difficult because Joshua had placed his hands upon the arms of her chair. ‘My two sleeping beauties,' he said softly, straightening and glancing across the duskfiled room to Janey who was still fast asleep. 'If's very rude to watch someone while they're sleeping,' Kate spoke with as much composure as she could muster. I’m a very rude man,' he replied. I’m sure you've told me that.' 'I haven't!' she said indignantly. ‘Then it’s the one insult you haven't levelled at me!'

She gave a nervous laugh. ‘Have I really been that rude to you, Mr—Joshua?' He nodded. ’Mind you, I don't think I minced my words with you.' ‘Don't use the past tense,' she retorted. ‘You don't mince your words now either!' He chuckled. It lightened his expression and turned him into a laughing devil. He reallyhad no right to wear such dark and devastating black. Didn't he know how virile it made him look? She glanced at him covertly as she made some attempt to smooth her hair, and seeing his unconsciously arrogant pose—hands in the pockets of.(his 'tight-fitting trousers, wide shoulders leaning against the edge of the pink brocade curtain—conceded that he took his appearance for granted. Yet he was not unfeeling when it came to illness and had proved himself to be a perturbed and caring father, hovering anxiously by his daughter's bedside. Ins strong body trembling with his desire to make her pain his own. ‘You were wonderful with Janey,' he said softly, uncannily transposing her thoughts to become his own. 'I've never known her come out of an attack-so quickly. Even her inhaler doesn't stop it as well as your method did.' She stood up, but could not move past him, for he was blocking her way. ‘When you said you had a new kind of treatment I didn't believe you,' he continued. ‘It isn't,' she said. 'Isn't what?' 'A new treatment. It isn't any treatment. I just said the first thing that came into my head.' His thick black eyebrows rose. 'You mean it isn't a new way of treating asthma?' ‘No. All I did was to get Janey to relax. If it hadn't worked I'd have had to go home to get an injection for her,’ 'But you said——-' 'A lot of mumbo-jumbo like a witch doctor. I did it to get her confidence.' ‘You certainly got that,’ he said huskily. 'And mine too. You really had me believing in what you were doing.' 'Janey believed it too,' Kate replied. That was why it worked. But it's a lesson to me never to go out without my medical kit.' 'Don't you ever forget you're a doctor?' There was a raggedness in his voice.

'Even when I try,’ she said humorously, 'something like today crops up to remind me! And then I feel ashamed that I should ever want to forget it.’ 'I can't imagine you ever wanting to forget it. You seem so single-minded where your career is concerned. Do you ever want to?' 'Of course,’ she said huskily. 'I'm a woman as well as a doctor.’ 'I know,’ he said almost with a groan, and before she could stop him pulled her forward and gathered her close to his chest. Kate felt she was being totally enveloped; wrapped round by an overpowering masculinity which she could not fight. Nor did she want to fight it. This was where she belonged: in this man's arms, feeling his heart beating heavily against her breasts, aware of the warmth of his body, and the tensing muscles that stiffened against her own. ‘I love you! she cried to herself. 'Oh, Joshua, how I love you.' But luckily the words could not be said aloud, for his mouth was pressing hard on hers, moving back,-wards and forwards in a caressing motion. She felt the ground slip away from her as his hands came round her waist and pulled her even closer to him. She was trapped by his strength and even had she wanted to she could not have moved. Her head was tilted back and one of his hands caressed the silky beige hair. ‘You’re so little,’ he said against her lips. Yet so full of spirit that I sometimes think you're ten feet tall,’ ‘You are the one who's ten feet tall,’ she gasped, and tried to find the ground with her feet. ‘We could make love more comfortably sitting down,’ he murmured, 'and even better if we were lying down.' 'Joshua!' 'Kate!' he echoed. 'Don't tell me a doctor is so easily shocked?' 'Academic understanding is quite different from experience,’ she said primly. ‘You have the layman's misconception of what happens in medical school,’ 'Oh, really,’ he teased. ‘Does that mean you're still——-' ‘Yes,’ she said firmly. ‘We'll have to put that right, then!' His hold tightened round her and she gave a little shiver. 'Am I frightening you, Kate?'

'A little,’ she confessed, and wriggled her toes, In lifting her up he had left her shoes behind, though she knew he was unaware of it. 'I didn't expect to find myself here with you like this,’ she continued. 'Don't you like it?' 'Are you fishing?' 'In very deep water, I think,’ he replied, ‘but not too deep for you , I hope?’ 'I don't know, Joshua.' 'Well, I know,’ he said, and gave her a slight shake. ‘We're in this together, Kate, and it's way over our heads. It's too late for either of us to draw back now.' ‘I never——-‘ Daddy!' A thin voice piped and as Joshua's arms momentarily relaxed Kate slipped down to the floor and quickly fumbled for her shoes. What is it, Janey?' her father asked, turning around. 'I wanted to let you know I'm awake.' ‘You've certainly done that, sweetheart!' His hand moved behind him and touched Kate's thigh. She trembled and then stepped quickly round him to move towards the bed. 'Are you feeling much better after your sleep, Janey?' ‘You didn't go down and leave me,' Janey said, ignoring the question. 'I told you I wouldn't,' said Kate. ‘But I'm going to go down now.' ‘Will you come and see me again?' 'Of course.' ‘Will you be my doctor?' ‘You have Dr Parker.' I'd rather have you.' Janey looked at her father. 'Can I have Kate as my doctor?' ‘Who said you could call her Kate?' Joshua asked. ‘You do, so why can't I?'

‘Of course you can,' Kate said, 'and even though I can't be your doctor I can come and see you as your friend.' She bent to kiss Janey and, without looking at Joshua, hurried from the room. She was halfway down the corridor when he caught up with her. ‘You've made as big a hit with my daughter as you have with me,' he said. ‘But Janey succumbed more quickly!' 'Because she has the innocence of a child. I had to compete with years of prejudice.’ He caught hold of her, hand and pulled her to a stop. I’ve never lied career women and have always run a mile from the ones I met.' ‘What do you have against them?' The fact that they're so busy trying to succeed in a man's world that they forget how to be women.' ‘Perhaps if they didn't feel they had to compete so hard in order to get acceptance ‘ ‘I’m sure you're right,' he interrupted. I’m not defending my past attitude, merely explaining it.’ He resumed walking with her, only stopping as they reached, the top of the stairs. 'I wish the visitors had gone,' he said under his breath. 'I want to have you to myself. There's so much time to make up for.’ ‘We've only known each other a month,' she reminded him. I’m thinking of the years when I didn't know you. They've been wasted years, Kate.' Below him in the hall came a slim figure in scarlet. There you are, Joshua,' called Felicity. The Craigs are going and they want to say goodbye to you.' ‘I’m coming,' he replied, and went swiftly down the stairs. Kate was glad she could follow alone and more slowly, since it gave her time to try and collect her wits. She still could not believe she had not imagined the scene that had taken place between her and Joshua in Janey's bedroom. It had happened so swiftly that she wondered even now whether it might not have been a dream. Yet her lips were still bruised from his kisses and her body still warm from his touch, telling her it was no dream but the beginning of something wonderful and real. CHAPTER ELEVEN Kate did not have a chance to talk to Joshua alone again, for though she and Dermot stayed for supper so did most of the other guests. Even when she bade him goodnight, Felicity stood beside him, her skirt touching his dark trousered leg, her hand hovering above his arm like the talons of a bird.

‘You were a long time in Janey's room,' Dermot remarked as they drove away from the house. 'She fell asleep and I promised to stay with her until she woke up,' Kate explained. ‘Mr Howard said you performed a miracle.' That's layman's talk.' ‘She's a nice kid,' Dermot went on. 'It's odd her not liking Felicity. You'd think she would, considering she looks so much like her mother.' 'I don't think Janey remembers her mother very clearly,' Kate said. ‘More likely the kid is jealous at having to share her father's affection.' This thought had struck Kate too, though the dislike she herself felt towards Felicity had made her more inclined to give Janey the benefit of the doubt Thai: could be the reason they haven't got married yet,' Dermot went on. 'Janey is highly strung and Mr Howard might be afraid of doing anything that would make her worse. I'm sure that's why Felicity came back to live in Llanduff—so Janey could get a chance to know 'her.' If Dermot had told her all this earlier in the day Kate would have listened with interest, but now his remarks seemed to have no meaning, for what had happened between herself and Joshua in Janey’s bedroom made the past a dead and meaningless occurrence. The future was all that mattered: her future with Joshua. It was unbelievable, so much so that she was afraid to think about ft. Yet when Dermot left her at the house she could not prevent herself from weaving plans for the days ahead and the years she would be sharing with a man who, only a short while ago, she had considered her enemy. It was a shock to find it raining when she awoke, but the gloomy skies could not darken her mood and she was light of step when she went down to breakfast ‘Mr Howard called you a little while ago,' Mrs Pugh informed her. 'But when I said you were asleep he wouldn't let me wake you.' ‘Did he say he would call back?' ‘No. He was off to Manchester Airport. Said something about flying to the States and that he-would call you from there. But he hoped to be back in three or, four days.' The dark clouds hovered over Kate's shining horizon and she resolutely pushed them away. Obviously Joshua's departure had been unexpected, otherwise he would have told her about it yesterday. But at least he had called this morning to say goodbye. If only Mrs

Pugh-had not listened to him and had woken her up! She stared morosely at her toast, glad when a ring at the surgery door told her there were patients to see and she could push back her chair and stop pretending to eat her breakfast. This is the first time anyone has called here on a Sunday,' she said to Mrs Pugh's disapproving back. 'Sunday is a day of rest for doctors as well as human beings,’ the woman snorted. 'I'm the most under-worked doctor in the medical profession,' Kate said cheerily.’ ‘You soon won't be. Once the womenfolk start to come, you'll be up to your eyes in work.' It was well after midday before Kate found herself free. The rest of the day stretched ahead with nothing to do and, when the rain stopped and the watery sun made an effort to ride the pale blue sky, she put on a jacket and scarf and went for a walk. Automatically she took her favourite route, and coming to the crossroads turned— in the direction of Felicity Davis's cottage. It looked prettier than ever and, with smoke coming out of the chimney, had a mediaeval air about it, though the girl who opened its door and hailed her very much epitomised the twentieth century. ‘Hello, Dr Gibson,' Felicity called. ‘I thought I recognised you walking up the lane.' Regretting her decision to come this way, Kate inched backwards. 'I often come this way. I like the view from the top of the hill.' I’m too used to it to see it any more.' Felicity opened the door wider. 'Do come in for a drink. I'm bored with my own company.' To have a drink with Felicity was the last thing she wanted, but short of being rude Kate could not see a way of refusing. She followed the other girl through a whitewashed hall to a long, low-ceilinged room where chintz-covered easy chairs stood on gay scatter rugs and a log fire burned in a huge old-fashioned fireplace. ‘What a charming room,' Kate exclaimed. 'It's like one of those advertisements you see on television advertising wholemeal bread!' Felicity grinned and opened a cabinet door to disclose an assorted array of different sized bottles. ‘Name your poison.' Kate had assumed the offer of a drink to mean tea, and she shook her head. 'Do you mind if I refuse? Short drinks give me’ a headache.' 'Something long, then, or would you like some coffee?'

'Coffee would be lovely.' 'Come into the kitchen and talk to me while I make it,’ Felicity said over her shoulder as she went across the hall. Kate followed and found herself in a small but perfectly equipped kitchen, as clinical and shining as her own surgery. ‘You seem equipped for everything here,' she commented, gazing at an eye-level oven, a dishwasher and various other electrical instruments. 'I hate all domestic chores,' Felicity said, 'and the only way I manage to do them is by being a hundred per cent efficient.' 'I never imagined you doing anything domestic,’ Kate admitted, and felt bright blue eyes looking at her with amusement. ‘But you don't know me very well, do you, Dr Gibson, or would you mind if I called you Kate?' ‘Please do.' Kate accepted a biscuit, knowing as she took it that it was home-made and knowing, even before she tasted it, that it would be excellent. For all Felicity's disclaimer of domesticity she was not the type of girl to do anything by halves. Unaccountably she thought of Joshua. He had probably sat at this very table for dinner. And breakfast too… 'Such a bore Joshua having to go to, the States,’ Felicity said. 'It's left me high and dry. If he'd had any advance warning I would have gone with him.' 'Just for three days?' The moment Kate spoke she knew she had made a mistake, for the blue eyes sparked dangerously. 'Joshua left a message with my housekeeper,’ she continued nervously, though she didn't know what she had to be nervous about. 'He likes you,’ said Felicity bluntly. The fact that you are dedicated to your work is something he finds intriguing.' 'Really?' Kate said in an offhand way. ‘But then he finds most women intriguing,' Felicity added. ‘He's a dreadful flirt.’ ‘You know him better than I do.’ ‘You know he married my cousin?' and then at Kate's nod: 'I was in love with him even then, but of course he never knew it, and when Janine died it was all I could do not to rush back and tell him so. It was only because I knew Joshua so well that I forced myself to stay away from him.'

Against her will Kate's curiosity was stirred and, as if aware of it, Felicity spoke again. ‘I knew that once he found himself free he wouldn't tie himself to another woman for years. Certainly not until he'd sown all the wild oats he'd never had a chance to sow before. You see, he grew up with Janine and never had a chance to know any other .women.’ The percolator bubbled and fell back and she filled the cups. 'He had a whale of a time for four years and that's when I decided he'd been free long enough. So I packed my bap, sold my apartment in New York and came back to Llanduff!' ‘You make it sound like a plan of campaign.' 'It was. And like all well planned campaigns, it's paid off.' 'Has it?' Kate said involuntarily. ‘Sure.' Felicity set the cups on a tray. ‘Let's take it into-the living room, shall we, it's more comfortable there.' She went ahead of Kate. We'd have been married already if it hadn't been for Janey,' she said over her shoulder. That child is sp possessive of her father she's given him a complex about bringing anyone into the 'house. Still, painting her portrait will finally resolve that little problem. Whenever I suggested it before she used to blow her top, but you saw for yourself yesterday that she accepted it without making a fuss.' That's a good sign,' Kate said, marvelling that her voice could sound so natural when her mind was still busy with,«hat Felicity had said a moment before. ’Well Joshua thinks it is,’ Felicity said and if things go as we plan we'll get married this summer.' She handed Kate her cup and sat down beside her. Her expression was frank and her eyes met Kate's without any prevarication. 'I suppose you think I'm crazy to marry Joshua and settle down in a place like Llanduff?' ‘Why should I think that ?' Kate asked huskily. ‘Because you've always lived in London and your work obviously means more to you than anything else.' 'I could say the same of you,' Kate said coolly. Felicity shook her head. 'I love painting—and I’ve been very successful at it—but it's always been second best for me. I would have married Joshua years ago if he would have had me.' She put down her cup and stretched her arms wide. 'I can't really believe it’s all coming true. He can be a devil at times, but he's everything I've dreamed of.' Kate swallowed hard. When Felicity had first started to speak she had been sure she was lying, but now it was no longer possible to doubt her, and this made a lie of everything Joshua had said yesterday afternoon. Yet why had he said it? Had he been carried away

by gratitude for what she had done for Janey? Was it because he had guessed she was in love with him and he had wanted to give her some happiness, even though he had known it to be a deception ? Shame engulfed her and she was conscious only of a rushing sound in her ears, so that for several moments Felicity's voice was heard as a meaningless blur. It was only as Joshua's name was mentioned again that she was able to absorb the words with any sense. 'Naturally I'll miss living in a city,' Felicity was saying, ‘but at least I'll feel more secure to have Joshua living down here. I don't blame him for the way women throw themselves at him.' ‘You're very understanding,' Kate said huskily. 'One has to be—with Joshua!' A slender white hand pushed back a heavy fall of dark hair. ‘I made thee same play for him myself—-that’s how I know how susceptible he is. I suppose you think I'm very cynical about him, but it's much better to know a person's faults, don't you think?' ‘Your question sounds a general one,' Kate said carefully, ‘but I feel you're particularising, so I'd rather not answer.' 'How diplomatic of you!' 'And sensible,' Kate asserted. 'I see Joshua from a different point of view.' 'He sees you differently too,' Felicity agreed. ‘You intrigue him because you weren't bowled over by him the way most women are. And also because you give the impression of being a career woman only.' Kate set down her cup abruptly and stood up. She could take no more of this conversation and had to leave this warm flower-filled room before she made a complete fool of herself and burst into tears. 'Is anything wrong?' Felicity asked in surprise. ‘You've gone awfully pale.' 'It's the fire.' Kate said the first thing that came into her head. 'I—I was injured in a fire and I still don't like seeing flames.' 'Oh dear, I am sorry.' Felicity jumped up and stood in front of the grate as if trying to hide it. 'Let's go into the kitchen instead.' ‘I’ll feel better if I can continue my walk,' Kate said. 'I don't get much opportunity for exercise during the week.' 'I do a lot of swimming in Joshua's pool,' Felicity replied. 'I was going to swim there this morning, but the rain stopped me, so I did some preliminary sketches of Janey's head.'

'Is she better, today?' Kate asked. 'She's fine. I'll be starting the portrait proper tomorrow. I'm hoping to get several sittings done before Joshua comes back.' Too work fast' Kate spoke without thinking, only on getting out. 'I bided my time with Joshua,' Felicity chuckled. ‘Sol feel I can work a bit faster with his daughter.' She opened the door. 'Are you sure you want 'tp continue with your walk? I can easily drive you home.' ‘I’ll be fine in the open air,' Kate said, and with a^ slight wave of her hand hurried blindly down the path. What a fool she had been to let herself believe Joshua had fallen, in love with her! Why hadn't she seen that it was only her antagonism towards him which had aroused his desire to flirt with her and show her that— like most women—she was equally ^susceptible to his masculine charm? Tears of humiliation coursed down her cheeks. How could he have had the gall to telephone her this morning and pretend that what had happened yesterday had been real? Did he believe he could keep his engagement to Felicity a secret, or hadn't he bothered to think that far ahead?’ She reached the breast of the hill and paused to catch her breath. The view was beautiful, but she was in no mood to admire it. All she could think of was ‘her stupidity. Well, she was not going to be stupid any more; nor would she let Joshua Howard know she had been taken in by him. She would make it abundantly clear that she had been flirting with him—playing him at his own game, in fact. 'A game for two,' she thought bitterly. That was something Joshua Howard had yet to learn. She had to get away from here, Kate realised, and tried to think of a reason she could give Joshua for wanting to return to London. Everyone that came to mind sounded like an excuse and she finally reached the conclusion that it would be better not to give any reason at all. Let him read into it what he liked. If only there were different ways in which she could read his behaviour towards her! But no matter from what angle she looked at it, it all appeared the same: he bad found her antagonism of him provocative and had decided to show her she was as susceptible to him as all the other women he knew. The fact that he had succeeded so quickly must have given him a great deal of satisfaction, she thought bitterly, and wondered how he had equated it with his conscience. Or didn't he mind flirting with one woman - while he was making arrangements to marry another? But then men like Joshua were so used to getting their own way that they never saw reason to judge themselves. They did what they wanted; they took what they desired and they rejected what they no longer wished to have. As Joshua would have rejected her once he had finally achieved her submission. Lying in bed that night she thought over all they had said to each other in Janey's room, and hoped against hope that she had not given herself away. The fact that she had

responded to his kisses was something she could not deny but it was the way she behaved to him in the future that would affect his opinion of her. He must never know how closely she had come to admitting her love for him, even though she could not deny it from herself. Pushing back the bedclothes, she padded over to the window and looked out into the darkness, hoping that the sight of the moon and the stars twinkling in their infinity of space would make her appreciate the microcosm on which she lived. Perhaps by diminishing her world in size she could diminish her emotional need for a man; not just any man but one in particular. Joshua Howard, with his heavy-lidded glittering dark eyes and Ms thick black brows that could lift in amusement or scowl in anger and his strong leonine head covered in glossy black hair lightly frosted with silver. 'Joshua!' she cried silently, and rested her burning face against the cool pane. It was a relief when dawn brought Monday and a working-day that was more than usually full, A new system of air-conditioning had been installed in the factory and though the warm even temperature was liked, a small percentage of the men found it increased thensinus trouble. There was little she could do for it beyond prescribing antihistamine tablets and she wondered if Joshua ever counted the cost of all his new innovations and considered it still to be worthwhile. At lunch time she avoided the directors' dining room and went to the canteen, surprised when Dermot joined her there as she was sipping her coffee. ‘Why didn't you let me know you'd be eating here?' he grumbled. 'I only decided at the last minute.' He grunted and pulled out a chair beside her. ‘I nearly rang you yesterday and suggested we went for a spin in the car.' 'What stopped you?' ‘You'd have found an excuse to refuse me,' he said. ‘When we left Mr Howard on Saturday night you seemed to be in a trance. What went on between you when you were upstairs?' ‘We made violent love in the bedroom,' she said with' out expression, and knew a wry amusement as he burst out laughing. That would be the day when you succumbed to violent seduction!' ‘You'd be surprised.'

How right you are.' He went on grinning. ‘What' about dinner with me tonight—and don't bother dreaming up an excuse. Make it a plain no, if that's what you'd’ prefer.' 'I intend making it a plain yes,' she said coolly. ‘But it can't be before eight-thirty. I'm getting quite a full surgery on Monday evening.' He gave her a speculative look which sat oddly on his open countenance. ‘You take your work seriously.' ‘Don't you?' 'It's different for a man.' ‘Why should it be ? My work is as important to me as yours is to you. Don't believe all that rot about the poet who said that love is woman's whole existence.' 'I bet it would be yours,' he replied. 'You aren't a dedicated career woman, Kate. ' ‘Why use the word dedication ? Men can work at then-jobs with enthusiasm and still have a wife and family that they love. Why can't women do the same?' 'Because it's the woman who has the children—and children need their mothers.' 'It's a job that can be shared by fathers too. More and more young people are doing that today.' 'Only student types,' Dermot shrugged. 'Can you see Mr Howard doing it?' The mention of Joshua acted like a douche of cold water on her, turning the abstract into reality.-'He wouldn't need to,' she said tonelessly. 'He can afford to pay others to cook for him and to take care of his children when he has them.' 'He'll need to pay staff too. I can't see Felicity nursing a baby.' So Dermot also knew that the marriage was imminent, ft seemed that everyone knew it except herself. Yet she had to be sure. 'What makes you think he has marriage in mind? He might prefer to go on playing the field.' 'Not any more. He let something slip the other day. We were talking about Janey and whether it might be better for her health if she went to school in Switzerland, and he said it might also be better for his marriage if she did.' Kate swallowed hard, knowing Joshua would only send Janey away from home if he wished to bring Felicity into it. She pushed away her cup and rose.

'About tonight,’ Dermot said. 'I'll pick you up at eight-thirty, then.' She nodded and forced a smile. Things were going to get considerably worse before they got better, for even if she told Joshua as soon as he got back from New York that she wished to leave, she would still have to remain here until he found a replacement, and this could take' several weeks. She might even still be here when he married Felicity. Muttering that she had to fill in some forms and catch the afternoon post with them, she half ran from the room, only slowing her pace as she entered the canteen proper and several of the men greeted her warmly. Under normal circumstances she would have been delighted by this, seeing it as a sign of the rapport she had established with so many of them. Now it was no longer important; all that counted was how quickly she could leave Llanduff and put Joshua out of her life. It was while she was waiting for Dermot to collect her that evening that the telephone rang and some blind instinct told her it was Joshua. ‘Would you answer the telephone for me?' she called to her housekeeper, 'and if it's from America, please say I've gone out with Mr Kane.' For a split second Mrs Pugh stared at her, then as the phone rang again she answered it. Kate's instinct had been right It was a call from Washington and, after briefly relating what Kate had told her, Mrs Pugh replaced the receiver. ‘I think you'd better take all the telephone calls for the next few days,' Kate said shakily. 'I—I don't want to talk to Mr Howard.' The arrival of Dermot absolved her-from finding a reason for what Mrs Pugh obviously considered most extraordinary behaviour, but when she learned that Kate was returning to London she would form her own deductions. Meanwhile Dermot was waiting to entertain her, and she must smile and talk and pretend that inside she was not shattered into pieces. CHAPTER TWELVE Joshua called once more from America, but hearing for the second time that Kate was not available, he did not call again. She knew from Dermot that his return home had been delayed and saw his absence as a reprieve, -knowing that the longer she did not see him the more chance she had of coming to terms with her love for Mm, and also of being able to hide it. But on Friday when she walked across the car park and saw the silver grey Porsche, her heart leapt into her throat. Entering the building she was so on edge that she had the feeling Joshua was going to appear at every door she passed, and it was all she could do not to break into a run to try and reach the safety of her surgery more quickly.

She was donning her white jacket ‘when Nurse Evans came in Jo say that Joshua wished to see her, and knowing that the longer she put off obeying his summons the worse it would be, she smoothed her hair and went up to the top floor. She was shaking inside, but the starched crackle of her jacket helped stiffen her pride, making her remember her medical degree and that she was different from all the other women Joshua had flirted with. To begin with it had been a difference he had deplored; now it made him want to prove that she was as vulnerable to Mm as all the other women he knew. 'But I have to make Mm believe that he's totally misread me,' she told herself. That's the only way I can save my pride.’ Joshua was sitting in the big black leather chair behind his vast teak desk as she came into his office, and he jumped up at once and came round the side of it, hands outstretched. 'Oh, Kate, how I've missed you!’ His voice was deep and quite unlike the sharp incisive one she had expected. He went to take her in his arms, but she quickly sat down in a chair and gave him a flashing smile. ‘Did you have a good trip, Joshua?' 'A busy one.' He flung her a puzzled glance but remained leaning against the edge of Ms desk, arms slack at his sides. 'Did you miss me, Kate?' 'I've been too busy.’ She forced herself to look into his face. It required all her willpower not to throw herself into Ms arms, and only the memory of Felicity kept her fixed to the chair. 'Several of the men have complained of sinus trouble because of the hew air conditioning, so you may have to readjust the temperature more frequently.' ‘Forget the temperature. I want to talk about you— about us.' He reached for her and this time would brook no resistance, drawing her up and into his hold. 'How I've missed you!' he groaned, and pressed his lips upon hers. At Ms touch, Kate vibrated like a tuning fork. Her arms went to clasp Mm and even as they lifted, she dropped them down. But Joshua was too lost in the depth of his own emotions to be cognisant of hers, and with hungry ferocity he went on kissing her, raising his mouth from her own to press it against her eyelids, her cheek and along the side of her slender neck before resting on the pulse that throbbed in the hollow at the base of her throat. 'I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you,' he said jerkily. 'I'm not a whole man any longer, Kate. Oh, darling, darling.' He went to take her mouth again but she pushed her hands upon his chest to keep him away. ‘No, Joshua, let me go!' For an instant he went on holding her, searching her face with’ his eyes. What he saw there must have persuaded Mm she meant what she said, for slowly he released her. She wanted to run to the other side of the room and put as much distance as she could between them, bat her legs were shaking too much to carry her and she stumbled back a step and sank into a chair.

‘What's wrong, Kate?' Joshua asked quietly. 'I knew there was something when you wouldn't take my calls from the States.' Kate went on staring at him. The moment of truth had come, though as far as she was concerned it would have to be a moment of prevarication. Tell me what's wrong,’ he repeated. 'A bad case of conscience,' she said huskily. ‘Yours or mine?' She was startled by this. 'Do you have anything on your conscience?' 'I should have.' His eyes crinkled with amusement. ‘I'm no saint, you know.' She sighed. This was not the answer she had wanted. She had hoped Joshua would have had the courage to tell her he was engaged to Felicity and that what had happened in Janey's bedroom had been a desire he had not been able to control. 'I wasn't thinking about your conscience,’ she lied, ,’but my own. What happened in Janey's bedroom was a mistake. I don't know what impression I gave you, but ————-‘ 'Are you trying to tell me you didn't mean it?' he interrupted. She was about to say yes when she decided he would not believe her. 'I meant it at the time,’ she whispered, ‘but—but—not now,’ ‘Not now,’ he echoed, then said more violently: ‘What do you mean by not now?' ‘I mean I've—I've changed my mind. At the time you bowled me over. You're… you're a handsome man and I didn't realise how susceptible I was. I've always been careful not to see men as-men but as my patients and I—I suppose I've let it affect my personal life too. But with you it wasn't the same. We were always arguing it made me think of you in a different way. I became determined to change your opinion of me and ———‘ ‘You certainly did that!' Seeing the amusement that still lurked’ in his eyes she knew she had to convince him she meant what she said. But how could she go on lying when all she wanted to do was to fling herself into his arms? ‘I knew you didn't like me in the beginning,’ she continued, 'and I wanted to show you how wrong you were about me. That was why I flirted with you.’

‘Is that what you-would call it?' He strode over and pot a heavy hand-on her shoulder. 'Were you' flirting H with me in Janey's bedroom? Were you trying to get even with me when you responded to me as if—I could have taken you there and then if I'd wanted,’ he said savagely, 'and I would have done too if we'd been alone. I’d have made you mine, Kate Gibson! So-much mine that you would never have looked at another man!' ‘That’s how you always see women, isn't it?' she cried, glad that he had given her a reason, to be angry with him. 'You think only in terms of conquering and taking! Of exerting your strength and showing how masculine you are. Well, I despise men like that. They're no better than animals!' ‘Be careful what you say,’ he grated. 'Are you threatening me, Joshua? Don't you like it when a woman plays your game?' 'Is that what it was to you—just a game?' She nodded, unable to- speak, then knew she had to make the effort. ‘What happened on Saturday was passion, Joshua, not love. All the arguing we did made us so aware of each other that what happened was inevitable.' 'Can you forget that it did happen?' he asked huskily. 'Of course. And so will you. Or have you forgotten Felicity?' His sharp intake of breath was accompanied by a fiercer pressure of his hands on her shoulders. 'So that's why you're behaving like this! You suddenly remembered Felicity.' 'Did you expect me to pretend she doesn't exist?' ‘I’ve made no secret of my relationship with her,’ he said bluntly. Were you going to be as open about your relationship with me?' she demanded. 'Certainly. They're both totally different.' A strange look passed over his face. 'Why are we quarrelling like this? I don't want to fight with you, Kate. I want to look after you.' ‘What about Felicity?' Kate repeated. 'She has nothing to do with my feelings for you. She's in a different compartment of my life.' 'Aren't you ashamed to admit that?' With a superhuman effort Kate found the strength to pull herself out of his grasp and she went quickly behind the chair, clutching on to the back of it for support. 'I'm afraid you've misjudged my character, Joshua. I might not be in my early twenties, but I'm not so hard up for a man that I'd be willing to take one like you!'

‘You're not willing to take any man,’ he said bitterly. ‘You're using Felicity to get out. You can't bear being dependent on a man and no matter how much you want him, you'll end up by running away,’ Incredulously she stared at him, marvelling that he had the audacity to say such a thing. She was worldly enough to know that many married men had mistresses, but never had she met a man who was considering taking one at the same time as he took a wife. 'When I fall in love,' she stressed the word, 'then I won't run away. But all I felt for you was passion, and I assumed you realised it,’ Colour suffused his face. 'If it's only passion you feel for me, I'll manage with that instead.' He came around, the chair, but she adroitly sidestepped him. 'No, Joshua. Even that isn't enough to make me want you.' Then what kind of man are you looking for?! he stormed. 'A young pup whom you can boss around?’ 'At least I wouldn't have to worry how he spends his nights when he wasn't in my bed,’ More colour darkened his tan to mahogany. She saw the veins in his throat stand out blue and knew he was using every ounce of his willpower to keep hold of his control. ‘Maybe it isn't my masculinity that worries you,’ he said so low that she could barely hear him, 'as much as your own lack of femininity. Perhaps you're scared that you can't maintain a flesh and blood relationship with a man like me. Or even with any man, for that matter. You look like a woman and you've shown me you can act like one, but it's all a sham. You lead a man on with your dainty little ways and big grey eyes and when you've got him where you want him you laugh in his face.’ 'It's better than crying on his shoulder.’ ‘I knew you'd say that. You're scared of men, Kate, and you're hiding behind your stethoscope 1' She pulled her hands away from the chair back and walked to the door. Her legs seemed numb and she was not conscious of the floor beneath her feet, but somehow her hand was on the knob and she was holding it tightly to steady her. 'I'm hoping you will agree that it will be best for you to replace me as soon as possible,’ she said. 'Oh no,’ His voice was low and menacing. ‘You aren't going to get out of things as easily as that. You have a contract with me, remember? You made me stick to it when I didn't want to, and now I intend to do the same with you,’

‘You can't!' She swung round on him. ‘You can't be so cruel.’ ‘Why is it and to ask you to work out your contract? If I mean nothing to you, then staying here shouldn't mean anything either.’ ‘What a beast you are!' She turned and fumbled for the door. ‘Yes, I am,' he said behind her, ‘but I needed you to remind me of it.' Kate would never have believed she could go on with ' her work as though her personal life was not in tatters around her. Yet work she did, finding things to do when she should have been at home resting; going out on calls when patients would willingly have come to see her in the surgery. But no matter how tired she was when she finally lay between the cool sheets at night, nothing would induce sleep to come and she frequently read the small hours away, learning much about obscure diseases but remaining just as ignorant about what the future held for herself. Yet what could a future mean without Joshua? She shied away from the question, able only to think of the months ahead of her when she would have to see him and go on pretending that she was indifferent to him. They had met twice since the day of his return from America: once in the directors' dining room—ever since she had insisted on eating in the canteen—and once when she had seen him leaving the factory with Felicity who had come to collect him in her car. He had made no attempt to disengage his arm from beneath the slender hand that lay upon it, and had given her a cool smile that had brought shameful desire rushing through her body. She knew she should have had the courage to ask when the wedding was going to take place, but her tongue refused to move around the words and she had murmured heaven knows what and walked on to her car. It was from Dermot that she discovered that Felicity had gone to New York for several weeks to hold an exhibition of her work. ‘She’ll be away about a month,' he concluded, ‘and rumour has it that Mr Howard will be joining her there.’ ‘Maybe they'll get married while they're away,’ Kate flagellating herself. ‘Could be. It's been in the offing long enough. And talking about travel reminds me that I have tickets for the premiere of a musical in London and I'd like you to come with me.' She was on the verge of refusing when she realised she - bad to go to town to talk with Peter Frisco. If no emergency crops up, I'd love to go with you,' she said, and felt uncomfortable at the look of delight that flashed over Dermot's face. He had made no secret of his fondness of her, nor of his hope that one day she ‘might reciprocate it and, though he never tried to make love to her, she occasionally saw a look in his eye that -made her angry with herself for using him.

But on Friday afternoon, when he called for her at the house, she had managed to appease her conscience by repeatedly telling herself that she had told Dermot she did not love him and never could. If he refused to accept this fact and still went on believing he could make her change her mind, then he had only himself to blame if he were hurt. ‘What are your chances of being released from your contract here?' Dermot's question was sudden and only came as they were approaching the outskirts of London. 'Joshua won't release me,' she said without any expression. ‘You know that for sure?' 'I asked him a little while ago. I—I wanted to go back to London, but he insisted I work out my time here.' 'I see, I hadn't counted on that.' ‘What do you mean?' He gave her a quick glance before concentrating on the road. I’m being moved to the London office. It’s promotion for me, but I don't want to take it if it will keep me away from yon. That's why I was hoping you could return to London earlier.' ‘Unfortunately I can't.' She looked down at her hands, knowing she had to say much more. 'And even If I were able-to I don't think it's a good thing for you to build up any hopes about me. I told you that once before.' ‘You also said you weren't in love with anyone eke,’ he reminded her, and when she didn't reply he slowed the car in order to give her another, more searching look. 'Are you trying to tell me that isn't true any more?' I’m trying to tell you I don't love you.' ‘Do you love someone else?’ ‘No.' A mile whizzed by before Dermot spoke. 'It's Joshua Howard, isn't it? If I hadn't been such a fool I would have guessed it ages ago.' She wanted to refute what he had said but felt that to do so would add insult to injury. 'Yes, it's Joshua, which just goes to show I'm a fool too.' ‘Poor Kate!' Dermot sighed. ‘You love him and I Love you. At least the two of us know how miserable we feel.'

‘Yes,’ she whispered, 'at least we know that.' Their weekend in town could not have been called an unqualified success, though they both tried hard to make it one. The musical was excellent and Kate had a satisfactory discussion with Peter Frisco, who assured her that even though the locum who had been engaged to take her place would remain for the full length «f his contract, they were so busy that she could return to the practice any time she wished. I’m sure Bill Parker will let you take over your flat,' he had added, 'and he can always stay with me until he finds somewhere else.' So to this extent Kate's life was settled. All she needed was for Joshua to release her, and she faced. Monday with a lighter heart, convinced that his previous refusal had stemmed from anger and would change once it cooled. As always when she thought of him she was aghast at the schizophrenic split in his personality. In business, she knew from Dermot that he was punctilious in his dealings and honest to a degree, yet in his private fife he-had behaved in a dastardly fashion. If he loved Felicity enough to marry her, how could he still desire another woman? Or was he marrying Felicity because she looked like his first wife? If Joshua felt guilty over Janine's death, maybe he could only expiate it by marrying her cousin who resembled her so closely? He could even believe he was giving his daughter her mother again. To her, such a notion was fantastic, but Joshua might be too blind to felicity's failings to realise that she had no intention of stepping into a dead woman's shoes, and that if she gave way to Joshua's wishes now, she would definitely not do so once she wore his wedding ring. T may have been a poor judge of character where Joshua was concerned,' she thought grimly, ‘but I'm a better judge than he is.' Thinking of murdering someone?' Nurse Evans inquired, coming into the surgery. ‘You're scowling like a dervish!' 'I was wondering what to do about Mr Johnson,’ Kate fabricated. 'Ah, the King of Malingerers! Why not teach him a lesson by pretending he really has something wrong with him?' ‘My conscience wouldn't let me,’ Kate confessed sadly. ‘Then how about giving him a foul-tasting medicine? Something he has to take twice a day,’ 'He'd throw it down the sink. After all, he knows there's nothing wrong with him,’ Tell him it's a special mixture that has to be taken within five minutes of being made. Then he'd have to come here morning and afternoon for a dose.' Kate's eyes sparkled. 'What a super idea!’ ‘Not bad, is it?' Nurse Evans said modestly. 'And I know just what to make up for him.'

She bustled away and Kate pushed aside all thoughts of Joshua and Felicity and concentrated on the work in hand. That evening Nurse Evans returned home with her to help with the surgery which was always heavy on a Monday. A few weeks previously she had managed to persuade one of her women patients not to leave her’ husband and had eventually been able to persuade the husband to come and talk to her as well. It had resulted in them both agreeing to come and talk to her about their1 problems, and though only a month had gone by since they had done so, there had been no fierce quarrels since to interrupt their peaceful domesticity. Happily the woman had confided what had happened to one of her friends and this woman, beset by worries too, had come to talkthem over with Kate. From this had evolved a weekly discussion group with some half dozen women airing their problems—domestic and personal—with her. For the most part Kate left one woman to answer another and only occasionally directed the conversation herself. The women were participating, did they but know it, in group therapy, and she found herself looking forward to these sessions more than any other. Tonight was one such and she waited happily for the women to start arriving. The telephone rang as the first patient came in and Kate was surprised to hear Mrs Howard's voice. I’m so sorry to bother you, Dr Gibson, but I'm very worried about Janey. She's having a bad attack of asthma and I wondered if you could come and see her?' 'It isn't possible for me to look after another doctor's patient without that doctor's permission,' Kate explained. I’m terribly sorry, but——-' 'Our own doctor is away and the young man standing in for him has been taken ill. I thought you knew.' 'No, I didn’t.’ Mrs Howard gave an impatient snort. I asked Joshua to tell you, but he obviously forgot. I asked him to find out if you would agree to look after Janey while you are in Llanduff.' Kate made a wry face. It was no wonder Joshua had diplomatically held his tongue. 'I know it's late for you to come out,' Mrs Howard went on, ‘but if I can't get someone to come to the house, I shall have to take Janey to the hospital. We have an oxygen cylinder, but I don't know how to use it, and Joshua went to Bristol for the day and didn't say what time he would be home.' 'I didn't realise Janey was ill enough to be taken to hospital,' Kate said quickly. ‘I’ll come over at once.' Telling Nurse Evans to warn her patients that they might have to .wait an hour for her return, she got her car out of the garage and speedily set off for Joshua's home. The country roads were unlit, but it was not yet dark and the hedgerows loomed purple in the deepening dusk. Sooner than she had anticipated the grey stone house loomed in front of her and she brought the car to a shrieking stop and hurried up the steps. As if on cue the

door was opened by the maid and Mrs Howard called Kate's name from the top of the stairs. Kate raced up them, but made her steps slow as she entered Janey’s bedroom. As she had anticipated, the child was in the middle of an asthma attack so severe that her inhaler was useless. Without wasting words, she bent to examine her, then prepared and gave her an injection. This will work in a couple of minutes,' she soothed. There's nothing to be afraid of, Janey.' I’m glad you came,' the child wheezed. 'Every time I told Daddy to ask you if you could look after me, he said you were too busy.' 'I think your father misunderstood me,' Kate said in a tight voice. 'I would never refuse to look after you.' ‘Honestly?' 'Honestly.' Kate caught hold of the small clammy hand and kept her hold on it as she perched lightly on the edge of the bed. 'Would you care for a cup of coffee?' Mrs Howard asked. , Kate was on the verge of refusing when she sensed the woman's agitation and, feeling it would lessen Janey-s own anxiety if she were out of the bedroom, nodded and said she would like nothing better. As soon as the door had closed behind Mrs Howard, she spoke to the little girl. Is this the first attack you've had since the one I treated?' 'I've had lots more since then. Not bad ones, though.' ‘Do they come at special times?' Janey frowned. 'I had them three times when Felicity was painting my picture. But I ‘spect that's because I didn't like sitting still for her.’ Kate kept her face blank. ‘Did you wear the same dress each time?' Janey nodded. 'I've worn it lots of times and it's never made me ill.' Kate nodded, still convinced that the child's dislike of Felicity was capable of bringing on an attack. 'How is the portrait coming along?' she asked. ‘Ifs all right. Daddy likes it, though. He sat with me twice while Felicity .was painting.' I’m sure you liked that.'

‘Liked what?' ‘Your daddy sitting with you.' ‘No, I didn't. Felicity talked to him the whole time and when she spoke to me, it was in a pretending voice.’ 'A pretending voice?' Kate questioned. ‘You know,' the child said. The voice grown-ups use when they pretend to like you.' I’m sure Felicity isn't pretending,' Kate said firmly. ‘After all, she is your cousin and I’m positive she liked you.’ ‘If she likes me she wouldn't want Daddy to send me away to school in Switzerland,’ Janey burst out, and agitation fluttered the thin chest. 'I don't want Daddy to send me away. I've begged and begged him to let me stay here, but he still won't promise. Can you help me, Dr Gibson ? I'm sure he'll listen to you!’ Kate tried not to let herself be swayed by the child's obvious distress. 'I'd have thought you'd love to go to school in Switzerland. You'll be able to go boating on the fakes in the summer and skiing on the mountains in winter. You'll be with lots of girls of your own. age and——-' ‘I’d rather be with Daddy.' 'And I'm sure he'd rather be with you, but he feels that being in Switzerland will help you to get stronger. The mountain air is awfully good for anyone with a chest complaint.' ‘We've got lots of mountains in Wales,' Janey said. ‘Daddy only wants to send me away so he can live here with Felicity.' Kate's heart seemed to, turn over in her chest and she was angry with herself for still being so vulnerable to the thought of Joshua's marriage. . 'If he lived here with you,' Janey went on, 'I'm sure he wouldn't send me away. It's only 'cos he knows I don't like Felicity.' Damp fingers curled tightly round Kate's hand. 'I wish he'd marry you instead of her. I know he likes you, 'cos I saw him kissing you the afternoon you were in my bedroom.' With an effort Kate kept her voice calm. ‘Your father wasn't kissing me in the same way he kisses Felicity. He was—he was just happy that I'd made you better and he—he gave me a kiss of thanks. The way you kiss someone if you give them a present.'

'Oh,' Janey said, 'I hadn't thought of that. I was hoping he might marry you instead of her.’ 'Well, you're hoping in vain.' I’m still going to tell Daddy.' 'What are you going to tell Daddy?' a deep voice asked, and woman and child looked up with a start as the tall broad-shouldered man came into the room. ‘That I would like you to marry Dr Gibson instead of Felicity,' Janey said before Kate could think of a way of stopping her. Then you wouldn't send me away to Switzerland.' ‘My sending you to Switzerland has nothing to do with my marriage. You're talking nonsense, Janey, and you know it.' His voice was harsh and his daughter flushed and trembled. Kate saw it and knew she had to intervene before anxiety negated the good that her injection had done. 'I think you should have a rest now, Janey,' she said soothingly. ‘Your father can come up later and talk to you.' ‘Last time I was ill and went to sleep, you stayed with me.' ‘You aren't ill now,' Kate said. ‘Your attack is over and you're better. But I want you to rest quietly—and alone.’ She looked at Joshua and he shrugged and smiled briefly at his daughter. 'I must also do what the doctor orders.' He bent and kissed Janey's upturned face, then walked over to Kate, letting her precede him into the corridor. With the bedroom door closed behind them his expression became heavy again. This is the third attack she's had in a week. Maybe she should go to Switzerland at once and not wait for the spring term.’ Kate opened her mouth and then stopped, afraid Janey might hear them. As if aware of this Joshua led the way downstairs and into a room she had not seen before. It was half library, half sitting room, with two walls lined with books and one with shelves filled with sporting trophies. 'Get it off your chest,' he said crisply, and stood in front of the empty fire-grate, arms folded, brows drawn together above his firm nose. 'I knew when I came in and saw you that you were ready to fire on all cylinders.' ‘What I have to say isn't based on any personal reasons,' she said quietly, 'and to be honest I'd rather not say it at all, but—well, your mother called me in to see Janey and asked if I would look after her while your own doctor was away.'

'She had no right to do that,' he cut in. ‘Why not?' His eyes glittered like jet. ‘You've made it so clear how little you think of me that I didn't feel you would wish to take care of my daughter.' I’m a doctor,' Kate said in anguished tones. 'It's my duty to help sick people. My personal feelings don't come into it.' 'I'm glad to hear that,' he said sarcastically, ‘but please tell me what you wish to say to me.' 'It's about your sending Janey to Switzerland. Are you doing it because you want her to be away from home or because you genuinely believe it will help her asthma?' 'What do you think?' 'I think you're doing it because you know she doesn't like Felicity.' Kate saw his face darken and had she not been pleading for Janey she would have turned on her heel and left him. 'I don't blame you for trying to take this way out, and if Janey were a normal healthy little girl it might do her good to be away from home. One-parent children can often become jealously possessive of that parent and———' 'Spare me textbook psychology,' he interrupted. 'Just say your piece and be done with it.' 'It's a very simple piece,' Kate said crisply. ‘I don't believe Janey's asthma will be cured by living in Switzerland. In fact if she's sent away from home it might get worse. What she needs is love and——-' ‘Don't we all,' he quipped. ‘Please,' she begged, I’m talking about your daughter. Do you think you could try not to be clever at my expense?' Shamefaced, he turned away from her. I’m sorry, Kate. I happen to fee in a foul mood and… but do go on.’ ‘I’ve almost finished. I know it won't be easy for you to have Janey living here once you're married, but if Felicity can be patient with her, I'm sure she'll improve.' ‘You seem determined to marry me off.' Joshua swung round to face her. He had lost some of his ruddy colour since she had last seen him, and though still tanned, there was a greyness about his skin that made him look older. There were also lines running across, his forehead that she had not noticed before.

'But then perhaps you are in a marrying mood,' he went on. 'I understand you went to London with Dermot,’ ‘Yes.' ‘Don't hurt him,' he said tersely. ‘Why should I?' ‘Because he's glaringly in love with you and damnably vulnerable.' ‘Thanks for telling me!’ 'I mean it,' Joshua said harshly. 'He's been taken in by a pair of silver grey eyes. What do you want with him, Kate? He's too much of a lad to satisfy you.' 'He's the same age as I am,' she said savagely, 'and neither he nor I need your advice.' ‘You're going to get it whether you——-' The telephone bell jangled arid he picked up the receiver and barked into it, his tone changing immediately as he heard the voice at the other end. ‘You timed your call well. Felicity,' he drawled. ‘Kate has just been telling me what a bad father Janey has.’ A metallic voice came through the receiver and he held it closer to his ear white a smile curved up his wide, thin mouth. ‘I’ll tell her,' he said finally. 'Hang on, darling, while I take down your number. I'll call you back.' There's no need,' Kate said behind him. I’m going. ‘I’ve already said what I wanted.' Sharply turning, she left the room, careful to close the door quietly behind her because she was determined not to let him know how dearly she had wanted to slam it. CHAPTER THIRTEEN Knowing Joshua believed she was leading Dermot on prompted Kate to pretend that she was. It would at least prevent him from knowing that he himself was the only man with whom she could ever consider having an affair. The admission of this showed her how vulnerable she was and hardened her resolve to return to London. What would Joshua do if she broke her contract? She could not see him getting involved in a court action with all the attendant publicity this would bring, and she was angry for not having realised this when he had first said he would not let her go. But at the time her own emotionalism had made coherent thought impossible. Had it not done so she could have saved herself these last few weeks of anguish. But now she was able to think dearly and she made up her mind to leave Llanduff before the month was out.

Her decision made, she felt as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders and she was noticeably lighter of mood when Dermot came in search of her on Tuesday afternoon. 'I hear you went to see Janey last night,' he said by way of greeting. ‘My housekeeper told your landlady and——-' 'Actually no,' he smiled. 'Mr Howard told me.' Dermot perched on her desk and idly lifted one sample box after another, staring at them with a fierce intensity that indicated that his mind was on something else. 'I gather you gave him the impression we're lovers?' 'I most certainly didn't,' she said sharply. 'He knew we were in London for the weekend and his imagination made up the rest.' ‘But you didn't tell him he was wrong?' 1 didn't tell him anything,’ she reiterated. ‘But if you're embarrassed by the rumours, I'm quite willing to see him and tell him he's wrong.' There's no need for that,' he said in an odd tone. ‘I’ve already done it myself.' Dismayed, she stared at him, her expression giving her away completely. ‘You did want him to think you were in love with me,' Dermot continued. ‘What were you afraid of, Kate—that he'd guess the truth?' 'I suppose so,' she gulped. 'Are you—are you angry with me?' 'I could never be angry with you.' Dermot tweaked one of her streaky blonde curls. 'Anyway, Mr Howard knows the truth now, so——-' ‘You mean you told him I love him?' Kate cried, aghast. 'Credit me with more tact than that!' Dermot said instantly. 'But I did have to tell him that we weren't having an affair. You see, he asked me point blank and I couldn't lie to him.' 'He asked you ?' Kate repeated. She knew she was acting like a parrot, but somehow her brain had difficulty in functioning. 'Why can't he mind his own business?' she continued crossly. 'He can mind his business very well. What he can't seem to mind is his personal life. He isn't the only one who got the wrong end of the stick. You did too. The man's in love with you.' 'He also happens to be going to marry Felicity. I think it has something to do with her looking so much like his first wife.' 'Rot!'

'If's true. Isn't it?' she added. Dermot sauntered to the door. ‘I’ll let the Big White Chief answer that for himself. He had a business lunch he couldn't get out of, but if I know anything about his character he'll be hotfooting it back here the minute it's over.' 'Are you sure you didn't tell him I was in love with him?' she asked for the second time. 'I didn't say a word, Kate. It's something he guessed for himself.' 'It won't make any difference to what I do,' she said. Dermot gave her a silent look and walked out, and the moment the door closed on him, Kate began to tip out her things from her drawer. Contract or no contract, she was leaving Llanduff today. If the factory needed a doctor, Joshua could find a locum from Cardiff or Bristol. She was emptying the last drawer when Nurse Evans came in. Silently she surveyed the desk top piled with personal belongings and, still in silence, she went out and returned with a holdall which Kate took from her and carefully began to fill. ‘What about surgery today?' the nurse questioned. Kate hesitated, duty warring with fear of seeing^ Joshua. ‘I’ll stay and do it,' she said, conceding^ duty the victor, and reached for her white jacket. She was in the act of buttoning it when the outer door opened and sliut with a violence that sent a breeze fluttering though the surgery itself. With a sinking heart she knew Joshua had arrived, though arrive was not the right word to describe him as he strode in upon her, looking so full of wrath that she was reminded of the god Wotan descending from the heavens in his chariot of fire. Where do you think you're going?' he demanded, taking in the half-packed bag on the desk. ‘To London,’ she said. ‘You aren't going anywhere until I've had a chance of talking to you.' He looked at Nurse Evans who, reading him correctly, hurried out. 'Now then,’ he said, closing the door and leaning against it to bar her only Way of exit, ‘you and I have some things to talk over.’ ‘We have nothing to say to each other.’ ‘Perhaps you're right,’ he said softly. ‘Maybe I have wasted too much time talking. I should have done this,' He leaned forward, his hands stretched towards her, but before they could touch her the whole world seemed to explode around them in a crescendo of sound that rocked the floor, vibrated the ceiling and walls and shattered the window panes.

‘My God!' he exclaimed, and swinging round on his heels, ran out. Instantly Kate followed him, automatically picking up her medical bag. The corridor was filled with an acrid smell and there was the sound of voices above the shrill whine of a klaxon. Joshua tilted his head and listened to it, counting the number of times it blew. It evidently gave him a signal, for he muttered: 'It's the annexe,’ and began to run down the corridor. ‘What is it?' she asked as she kept pace with him. 'An explosion in the laboratory.’ 'But you don't have chemicals there.’ ‘We do,’ he said grimly, and wrenched open an iron escape door. It brought them out at the side of the building and she saw a stream of men filing out of all the entrances except the single storey annexe some twenty yards on her left. Here all the windows had been smashed and thick grey smoke belched through the broken panes. 'Get back and phone the hospital,’ Joshua barked. ‘We'll need ambulances here.' 'How many men work in the lab?' ‘Twenty,’ He gave her a push. 'Hurry up and phone!’ 'You phone,’ she retorted, darting past him. 'I must get to the lab. There are men trapped there.' ‘Stay away from it,’ He raced after her and pushed her back against the wall. ‘You're not to go in. There may be another explosion any minute.' Ignoring him, she continued to run forward. Scores of men were milling around, but they moved back at her approach and she reached the laboratory quickly. The smoke had lessened and the orange and yellow flames could be seen beyond it. But it was not possible to see into the building which was still shrouded in a thick grey fog, the smell of which was acrid and left a burning sensation in one's throat. 'If only I had a gas mask,’ Kate thought desperately as she felt her eyes start to smart. ‘You can't go in there, doctor,' one of the men said. ‘We've been warned to stay clear.' Not bothering to answer, she made for the door. Luckily Joshua was not behind her, though she did not understand why until she tried to open the laboratory door and found it stuck fast. Obviously he had climbed through one of the windows. ‘Help me to get through,' she called over her shoulder, and a couple of men ran over and tried to pull her back.

'It's dangerous for you to go in there,’ one of them said. The fire brigade will be here any minute and they've got the right equipment.' There are men trapped inside,' she rapped. 'I must get to them at once.' ‘I’ll come with you,' the two men said simultaneously, and clambered through the window, before reaching out to help her through. From the distance came the clanging of bells and a low cheer went up as a fire brigade swung into the car park. But Kate was afraid to wait even a moment longer and carefully dropped down from the window sill and picked her way through the wreckage. Thick belching smoke made visibility impossible. She could not see more than a hand in front of her and as she inched forward, glass crunched under her feet. A moan somewhere on her left made her turn arid the man beside her moved quickly ahead. ‘Here, doctor,' he called, and catching her hand, guided her. ‘Where?' Kate gasped on a cough. 'I can't see a thing.’ ‘Keep low,' the man advised. The smoke isn't so bad then.' Doing as he suggested, she crept forward, almost on; her knees, but afraid to get too low for the glass was thick and sharp. A recumbent figure suddenly loomed in front of her and her own personal discomfort was forgotten as her years of training took over. It was a young man. He was unconscious and blood was streaming from his face, which was badly lacerated. There were no other visible injuries, but this did not reassure her, for the force of the blast, though it could give internal injuries severe enough to cause death, frequently left no visible mark on its victims. Lifting the inert wrist, she felt for a pulse. It was feeble but there. ‘We have to get him out,' she said. ‘Do you think you can manage to carry him to the window?' ‘Sure,' the man replied, and hoisted the unconscious man across his shoulders. ‘Where are you going, doc?' he asked as Kate moved away. To look for more bodies. Mr Howard said there were twenty men working in here.' ‘You'll never find them in this smoke.' ‘We've found one already,' she said briefly, and hunched forward along the ground to continue her search. She had never been in the laboratory before and had no idea as to its size. It had looked fairly small, but if it housed twenty men it must extend in depth. She peered around her, but the air was thicker than ever and to it was added an ominous crackle. Fire! Bending double, she staggered from one overturned bench to another. ‘Several men were sprawled on the floor in grotesque -positions that told her they were

beyond her help, and she forced herself to ignore them and push her way forward. The further she went from the shattered windows the worse became .the atmosphere, and the smell of sulphur was so strong that her eyes burned painfully. How many men had she seen so far? Five, six? Here were two more. That was eight in all; with the one that had been taken out that meant nine. What had happened to the rest, and where was Joshua? She called his name, but there was no answer and she stumbled ahead. An inert form at her feet almost sent her crashing headlong and she only saved herself from failing flat by clutching at the side of a table. This only partially broke her fall and she landed hard on the ground. Sharp splinters of glass dug into her knees and palms and she cried Out with the pain, then forgot it as the man by her side stirred and moaned. At least he was alive. Quickly she bent close to examine him. ‘What happened?' he gasped. There's been an explosion. Were you working next to anyone?' 'Jock and Ted. They were standing beside me.' His face contorted. 'I remember now.' His voice died away and she wondered if the memory of what had happened had caused him to faint. There was no point trying to examine him here. It was all she could do to see and the only thing was to get him out. Yet she did not have the strength to drag him across the floor. 'Joshua,’ she shouted. 'Can you hear me?' 'Kate!' His voice came from so near that she jumped with shock. 'Kate, where are you?' 'I don't know.' The incongruity of her reply struck her even as she answered but it was too tragic to be funny. 'I don't know,' she cried again. 'I'm on the floor. I've an injured man here and I've got to get him out.' Suddenly Joshua was in front of her his face so close that she could see it. It was dark with grime and smoke yet there was a white powder of ash on his eyebrows. 'Have you found any of the other men alive?' she asked. ‘Four. I managed to open the door that the blast had jammed and I carried them out, then came back To 16ok -for you.' His voice went grim. 'I told you to stay out side.' ‘I couldn't. I'm a doctor and I was needed.' ‘You can't do anything in here. Get out.’ ‘I’ll help you with this man first.' She peeered around. There must be two others nearby.' ‘I’ll find them.' Joshua leaned forward. 'But I don't need you. The back end of the lab is boiling like a cauldron. If's likely to go off like a rocket any minute.' Then you can't stay here either.' Agitatedly, she began to pull at the injured man lying at her feet. 'If I held yon we'll both get out of here more quickly.'

‘I don't need your help.' Joshua almost shouted the words as he bent double and lifted the unconscious man. Holding his burden, he straightened, and only then realised that this brought his eyes level with the densest part of the atmosphere, where visibility was almost nil; yet he could not hold his burden and walk in a crouching position, and he swore furiously under his breath. Aware of the reason for his anger, Kate caught hold of his jacket and kept down on her knees. 'I'll guide you,' she said huskily, and inched forward. Their progress was painfully slow and twice she went to stop as she stumbled over an inert form, only continuing on her way as a quick feel with her hands told her she could do no good. As they neared the shattered windows the smoke lessened and they were able to make faster progress, though the door which Joshua said he had broken down was not visible and she wondered if part of the roof had collapsed on it. But she had no time to look and see, for they reached the nearest window where men were waiting ready to take the unconscious figure from Joshua's arms. ‘You'd best come out, sir,' a man in uniform urged. The firemen want to get the hoses on the back of the lab and they can't do it while you're in there.’ They can't do it while my men are there either,’ Joshua barked, 'I'm not sure they're all dead and until I am, you keep those firemen away. Do you hear me?' 'All the bodies have been accounted for,' the man said. Three of the firemen got in the back way.' 'You're lying,’ Joshua cried. 'I didn't see anyone in the back of the lab.' They didn't see you either,' the man said. 'It's like an Inferno in there. Now come along, sir, before the whole thing goes up in the air.' There was a low moan behind Kate and she turned and ran in its direction, losing sight of Joshua and the window within a few seconds. The heat had intensified and the laboratory was as hot as the interior of an oven. The smoke seemed to scorch her skin, but a man's cry came again and she could not ignore it. ‘Where are you?' she called. 'I can't see you. Please keep calling.' Hands groping out in front of her, she made her way from one workbench to another. The heat and smoke grew worse and she knew that if she did not find the man soon she would have to get out before she suffocated. Her fingers touched wetness and she gasped and bent forward, her hands moving gently across a face and parted lips. 'Hello, Doc,' a faint voice said. 'Sorry I couldn't come for my medicine this~ afternoon.'

She gave a little cry. It was Johnson, their chief malingerer. ‘You don't work in the lab,’ she gasped as her hands moved skilfully over his body to see if there were any bones broken. 'What are you doing here?' 'I had to deliver a parcel to one of the technicians and I stopped to have a chat with him.' 'Do you think you can manage to lean on me and walk?' she asked quickly. 'I don't think you have any bones broken.' ‘Maybe not,’ he said dryly, ‘but I can't move my legs. I don't feel them.' Then I'll have to get some help.' She turned and groped in the direction of the windows. 'Joshua,’ she called. 'Joshua!' There was no answer and it was only as she went to shout again that she became conscious that a crackling noise was drowning her voice. She, looked over her shoulder and as she did so, a huge timber beam crashed down from somewhere high above, releasing a cloud of black smoke that was instantly punctured by a tongue of scarlet flame that heated the air and sent it flicking warm against her skin like a knife. She screamed and recoiled from it and in that instant felt a hard hand grip her shoulder. 'I told you to get out,’ It was Joshua, his voice thick with smoke. ; 'I need help. Johnson's back there,’ ‘I’ll find him,’ he said, ‘but for God's sake get out!' ‘You won't find him without me.' She turned and stumbled back the way she had come. Joshua tried to claw at her skirt, but she evaded him and he was forced to come after her, cursing and shouting that she was crazy, that he could manage on his own and she must climb out of the window immediately. Closing her ears to his frenzied orders, Kate continued to inch forward. It was like advancing into the sun except that she was not blinded by a brilliant glare but by the darkness of black smoke. 'Here he is,’ she cried, and touched Johnson's face. 'I'm still alive, Doctor,’ he croaked. 'Of course you are,’ she said throatily, 'and we'll have you out of here in a moment.' 'Easy does it,’ Joshua said as his big strong arms enfolded the inert figure. 'Hang on to my jacket, Kate,' he continued. 'If you let go of me I won't move another step.’ Knowing he meant it she had no choice but to obey him. Eyes closed, she followed him, occasionally lifting her lids in the hope of seeing someone, but every flicker of her eyeballs was excruciating and there was the same stinging pain in her throat and nose

which made each breath an agony. She stumbled and almost fell, but remained clutching at Joshua's jacket. Occasionally he too had to stop to shake his head and peer round him like an half-blind man. Their progress was slow and every yard.. seemed like ten, but suddenly the air cleared and she could lift her lids and discern figures moving in on her. Then there was a rumble in her ears and the earth moved. Wind seemed to whistle round her and she felt hot, then cold as if she were being lifted up and shaken like a leaf in the wind. 'Joshua!' she screamed, and as timbers crashed in on her, knew no more. CHAPTER FOURTEEN It was the pain in her hands which finally dragged Kate back to reluctant consciousness and she fought against it, keeping her eyes closed and hoping that the drowsiness which still engulfed her would wash her back into a sea of oblivion. But it was not to be, for the pain in her hands became a steady throbbing which was taken up inside her head, and she muttered irritably and moved on the pillows. The movement instantly brought someone to her side—a young woman whom she did not recognise, though the pale blue dress was that of a nurse. 'Good morning, Dr Gibson. How are you feeling?’ ‘Terrible.' I’m not surprised. You've been pumped so full of drugs you're bound to feel a bit odd. The nurse touched Kate's wrist. ‘Would you like some tea?' 'Not particularly.' I’m sure you'll enjoy it once you have it. I’ll bring you a cup.' ' The nurse was proved right, for by the time Kate had drunk the tea and eaten a couple of biscuits she was feeling considerably better. Slowly her brain began to function and when the nurse returned to take away the tray, she asked how long she had been here. Three days. You had concussion and your hands were badly cut.' Kate shuddered. I’m not surprised. The floor was like a glass carpet.' 'Don't think about it any more. It's all over.' ‘Yes,' Kate echoed, thinking of Joshua. ‘I’ve brought you a newspaper to cheer you up.' 'I don't want to read anything, thanks.'

'Just look at the pictures. There's a lovely one of you.' 'Of me?' Kate took the newspaper from the nurse and saw her own face staring out at her from the front page. It was a picture she did not recognise until she suddenly remembered that one like it had appeared in the national press after the fire in the apartment block. 'Heroine of the inferno,' was how it had been captioned then, though today's was only slightly less lurid and referred to her as a doctor who went through fire for her patients. 'I do wish reporters wouldn't exaggerate,’ she said crossly. 'Anyone else in my position would have done the same.' ‘Maybe,' the nurse said doubtfully, ‘but the fact is that you did it—and for the second time in less than four months. There's a whole story on the inside page about the first rescue you did. They say you'll get a medal for it, and probably for this rescue as well. It would be fantastic if you got two George Crosses.' ‘Fantastic,’ Kate murmured, and closed her eyes. ‘I’ll leave you to have a rest until lunch time,’ the nurse said, and rustled out of the room. Kate was awakened by a tantalising smell of food and, feeling considerably clearerheaded, was able to take cognisance of her surroundings. She was in a large private room, simply furnished but turned into a bower of flowers. She glanced from one vase to the other and was still trying to count them when the nurse came in with her lunch. ‘I’ll do your hair and tidy you up afterwards,’ she said, helping Kate into a sitting position. 'You'll be allowed visitors this afternoon.' ‘I’d father not see anyone,' Kate said quickly. ‘We can't have you lying here getting morbid,’ the nurse replied, and picked up the knife and fork. I'd better cut the meat for you, with your hands in bandages you might find it difficult to do it.' Kate thought she would find it easier if she were left alone without the nurse's constant chatter, but she did not say so and docilely allowed herself to be fed and then have her face washed and her hair brushed. Unbidden the nurse brought her a mirror and she was dismayed by her reflection: a pale face with dark shadows under her eyes and the eyes themselves like huge silver, grey pools. Only her hair seemed vivid, a shining cap that covered her head and clustered in curly tendrils across her forehead and along the tops of her ears. ‘You have lovely coloured hair,' the nurse commented, ‘We had to wash it for you. It was full of glass and it stank of sulphur.' The nurse put the mirror back on the dressing table, then took a filmy white bed-jacket from the top drawer and helped Kate to slip into it.

It lay round her like a sheaf of apple blossom, its silky folds deliriously cool against her warm skin. She knew she had a temperature but not enough to make her so agitated or apprehensive. No, these feelings came from the certainty that Joshua would be coming to see her and the fear that in her weakened state she might burst into tears at the sight of him. She was so busy steeling herself up for his entry that when he finally arrived it was something of an anticlimax. One moment the room was quiet, the next it was dominated by a huge, broad-shouldered, black-haired man, his arms filled with a sheaf of creamy roses and a bottle of champagne. ‘Hello, Kate.' His greeting was calm though the look in his eyes was not. There was astrange sparkle in them, a certain sharpness that made her wearily acknowledge that he was spoiling for a fight. But he could not have come here to quarrel with her. Even Joshua knew better than that. ‘You look beautiful,' he said matter-of-factly, 'and about sixteen.' ‘I feel sixty.' He smiled and dumped the flowers and champagne-on the dressing-table before coming to stand at the foot el her bed. She remained resting against the pillows, for in this way she could see him without having to tilt her head and she saw his eyes move from her face down her body to her bandaged hands which lay supine on the coverlet. Pallor tinged his tan and when he spoke his voice was shaky. 'You could have been burned to death in the laboratory. A minute after we got you out, the whole place went up.' 'I remember hearing the explosion,' she confessed. ‘You were crazy!' he said violently. There were enough firemen and police to sink a battleship. Yet you had to go in——' 'I could say the same of you,’ she interrupted. I’m a man,' he said violently, 'and they were my employees trapped in there.' I’m a doctor,' she replied, 'and they were my patients.' ‘Rubbish.' It was impossible for her not to smile, though it was tinged with sadness. Even coming to see her in hospital he could not refrain from losing his temper with her. But it was an odd kind of temper, as was the way he was looking at her.

‘I suppose the whole laboratory is a write-off?' she murmured. 'It's covered by the insurance so it won't mean a financial loss.' ‘How many men were killed?' ‘Five.' He half turned and stared through the window. She had rarely seen him in profile and she enjoyed being able to look at him without the fear of being discovered. Looking at him sideways, one noticed his well-shaped head and the strongly defined line of cheekbone and jaw. 'Janey sends you her love.' He turned abruptly their eyes met. ‘She wanted to come and see you, thought you wouldn't be feeling up to it. I said she would have plenty of opportunity when I brought you home.' 'Home?' Kate echoed. ‘My place. You'll be better cared for there.' ‘Mrs Pugh wouldn't like to hear that!' ‘She can come and look after you. You'll probably find enough for her to do at the Manor for us to keep her on.' Kate swallowed, thinking she might not have heard correctly. 'I—I would prefer to stay in my own house,’ she said huskily. 'It's very kind of you to suggest I stay with you, but —' 'It has nothing to do with kindness,' he cut in roughly. I’m doing it for my own peace of mind. You're staying ' with me until I can marry you—and that will be the minute you give the word.' Kate no longer had any doubt that she was delirious and she went on staring at him. 'I was hoping you would be willing to end my contract with you and let me, return to London.' ‘I’ll take you to London when you're better,' he said promptly. ‘You can shop for your trousseau there or you might prefer to do it in New York. I have to go to the States and I thought we'd combine it with our honeymoon.' 'If this is your idea of a joke…' She choked on the words and in two strides he was beside her, bending low to catch what she was saying,

'I was never more serious in my life. I love you, Kate Gibson. I think I must have loved you the moment I saw you standing in front of me like an angry butterfly.' 'I was just about as effective,' she sniffed. ‘You would be surprised at how effective you were. Those delicate wings of yours gripped me like steel and from then on I was powerless.’ She tried not to be swayed by what he was saying, but his words made her tremble and she longed to feel his arms around her. Yet still the memory of Felicity persisted and it gave her the strength to stop the hands that reached out to touch her. 'Is it because of the fire?' she asked. 'Because you're grateful for what I did? Is that why I'm going to be the wife instead of Felicity?' ‘Felicity was never going to be my wife,’ he said clearly. ‘Never.’ Kate's eyes grew even bigger and Joshua lowered Ms huge frame gently on to the side of the bed. ‘I feel so big in this room,’ he said fretfully. ‘You are big,’ she whispered, and was overwhelmed with tenderness for him. Sensing the change in her voice he caught hold of her forearm, careful not to touch the bandages. His hand was gentle and the fingers surprisingly soft on her skin. 'I have never asked Felicity to marry me, nor have I given her the impression that I would. In fact I made it clear at the start that we could only…’ He put her arm gently back on the coverlet and though he did not stand up from the bed he gave the impression of withdrawing, as if what he had to say was embarrassing to him and he needed to be isolated before he could do so. When I met Felicity again—after all the years she had been away—I was bowled over by her likeness to Janine. I suppose for ; that reason alone I started an affair with her.' ‘You loved your wife very much?' Kate could not help asking. 'I loved her as a young man loves the innocent young girl with whom he grew up. It was a summer love, Kate, and I doubt if it would have filled the autumn or winter of my days. I was beginning to suspect it when she was killed. That's why I felt so guilty at her death,’ 'But it wasn't your fault. It was a riding accident,’ 'It was my horse she was riding at the time. I had made her promise not to do so, but she was headstrong that——-'

‘Like me,’ Kate murmured. ‘Not a bit like you. Janine was headstrong because she was foolish, whereas you know exactly what you are doing and are determined to do it. You are also obstinate, selfwilled and—where I'm concerned—incredibly blind!' His hand came out to catch her arm again. ‘You are the only woman with whom I want to share my life and when you turned me down, I couldn't believe it I was so sure you loved me and I couldn't make any sense out of your behaviour. If I'd been unemotional and had used my mind instead of my feelings, I'd have known straight away that something had happened to make you misunderstand me. It wasn't until I spoke to Dermot that I found out what it was. That's why I came in search of you.' 'And then the laboratory exploded,’ He gave a rueful shake of his head. 'I guess my fury must have sparked it off!' Kate lowered her eyes and stared at his hand resting on her arm. Everything seemed to fall logically into place yet she was still afraid to believe him, not sure if his proposal was prompted by relief that she had not been injured and gratitude for what she had done. ‘What exactly did Dermot tell you?' she asked. That you didn't love him. That made me wonder why you wanted me to think you did. If you had been an . ordinary woman I'd have said it was from pride, but you were too intelligent for that, and the only logical assumption was that you did it to hide your real feelings. It wasn't until I spoke to Janey last night—trying to reassure her you weren't going to die—that she burst into ears and begged me not to marry Felicity. That’s when I realised Felicity must have made mischief between us,’ His voice was grim and Kate glanced at him and then looked away. 'It seems Felicity told Janey she was going to marry me and that was why I was sending her to Switzerland. So then I thought that if Felicity could say this to a child, she could as easily have said it to you and once I started to think along those lines then everything else fell into place.' His fingers caressed her skin. 'You see how simple everything is if you think things out?' Her eyes dropped lower still. 'I loved you too much to be able to think at all,’ she whispered. 'Felicity was so plausible that I never doubted her.' ‘So she did talk to you the way she did to Janey ?' ‘Very much so. She said you were going to marry her this summer. She said——-' 'I don't want to hear any more. She's made us waste enough time. We won't talk about her again. You are my only concern, Kate; you and Janey.' Carefully he drew her into the circle of his arms. She felt their tremble and knew how strong was his urge to hold her tightly. She buried her face against the warm column of his Heck. 'Our marriage won't be easy, Joshua. A wedding ring won't make either of us change.'

'I should hope not. There'll be times when I'll resent your work and there will be times when you will resent my bossiness! But we'll have a marriage that is alive. Alive and growing better all the time.' She gave a little murmur and his hands moved away from her shoulders and down her back. She was aware of the flimsiness of her nightdress and knew from the sharp intake of his breath that so was he. But he still kept his control, though the rigidity of his muscles told her the effort it was costing him. Gently she drew back from him, though their eyes remained interlocked. 'I won't go on working at the factory,' she said softly, ‘but I would like to keep the rest of my practice going.' 'I wouldn't have it otherwise,' he replied. ‘You are a doctor and a woman and I love both aspects of you.' He bent forward and rested his mouth on hers, his lips moving backwards and forwards in a tender motion. It’s agony for me to be so close to you and not make love to you. How soon will you be well enough for us to get married?' 'A couple of weeks,' she hazarded. He groaned. 'Fourteen days of torture!' ‘I’ll prescribe something for you,' she teased. 'An antidote to love.' He shook his head. There is no antidote for my love for you, darling Kate. I'm afraid my illness is incurable.' 'So is mine for you,’ she said huskily, and raised her mouth. ‘Kiss me, Joshua. It won't cure the ache but it will help to make it bearable.' With a soft chuckle he obeyed.