A LEADER’S GUIDE TO WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO

A LEADER’S GUIDE TO WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO Effective leaders understand why the people they are trying to influence behave the way they do, effective leaders’ mental models of leadership go beyond giving orders and assuming compliance for monetary rewards. The Beginnings When we are born, we begin a three to six months process of becoming simply, aware of our individuality, that we are separate, that we are no longer totally encased in the identity of another human being. Depending on our developing personality and its holism we tend to develop strategies to influencing others. Solidifying the Tendencies Leaders must take into account all of this levels of similarity and dissimilarity, whether one is opening a new plant overseas or trying to motivate an underperforming employee to do better. Memes: are the ideas and beliefs that people develop and pass on to others over time. Motivation The vanilla leader’s view of motivation generally includes two ideas-rewards and punishments. The Rational-Emotive Model The REB model includes several elements: events and our perceptions of them, values and assumptions we have about the way the world "should" be, conclusion or judgment about the present situation, feeling and behavior. Events To paraphrase the common street meme, "things happen." people speak to us. or don't. doors open. or close. Perception and Observations an observations, as we use it here means simply what would be visible to an impersonal, unemotional camera's eye. an MANAGING ONESELF Know what you are good at. a person can perform only from strengths. one cannot build performance on weaknesses, let alone something once cannot do at all. Feedback Analysis:  Feedback analysis is the only way to identify your strengths

observation is a description as opposed to a judgment. VABEs when we observe something, we immediately compare that event with our personal set of Values, Assumptions, Beliefs, and Expectations (VABEs) about the way the world should be. if there is a gap between what we observe and what we except, we have a problem. if there is no gap, things are as they should be or the way other people should behave. External Conclusions the key to understanding why people behave the way the do is in the comparison of what they see and what they believe ought to be, the comparison between one's perceptions and one's VABEs. it is not events that take place around us that determine what we do; rather, it is the comparison we make between what that place around us and our personal, basic assumptions about what ought to be taking place that motivates our activity. Internal Conclusions human also have the capacity to observe and judge themselves. we can call the observations we make about ourselves our self-image. we make self-judgment or conclusion by comparing what we believe we should be with what the see ourselves doing, that we are good fathers, good golfers, poor driver, terrible poets and so on. the conclusion can affect our behavior on a number ways. Feelings Whether our conclusion are internal or external they tend to generate emotions. Behavior behavior is another result of the comparison we make between events and our VABEs. behavior is as we're using it here simple what people say and do. it is that which we or a camera can observe.  Write down expected outcome for your key decisions and actions. 9 to 12 months later, compare them with the results.  Action plan: o Put yourself where your strengths can produce results o Work to improve your strengths

o Avoid intellectual arrogance, acquire skills as required o Remedy bad habits, have no lack of manners o Know what not to do, identify incompetence areas and avoid them Do not try to change yourself (too much) instead, work harder to improve the way you perform. The mirror test: ethics require that you ask yourself, "what kind of person do I want to see in the mirror in the morning?" Personal value system should be compatible with that of the organization's. the typical conflicts to avoid are:  organization's commitment to new vs. old employees  incremental improvements or risky breakthroughs  emphasis on short term result vs. long term goals  quality vs. quantity and growth vs. sustenance In other words, values are, and should be, the ultimate test for your comp ability with an organization. Mathematicians, musician and cooks are usually mathematicians, musician and cooks by the time they are four or five years old. Highly gifted people must realize early where do they belong, or rather where do they not belong. Successful careers are not planned  Successful careers develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strength their method of work and their values  Knowing where one belongs can transform and ordinary person, hardworking and competent but otherwise mediocre into an outstanding performer.

A knowledge worker's quest on contribution involves:  What does the situation require?  Given my strengths, methods, and values, what is "'the" great contribution to what needs to be done?  What results have to be achieved to make difference? It is rarely possible to look too far ahead, 18 months should be planned to:  Achieve meaningful results and make a difference  Set stretched and difficult goals that are reachable  Gain visible and measurable outcome Define course of action, what to do, where and how to start, and what goals, objectives and deadlines to set. Bosses are neither the 'title' on the Org chart nor the 'function' to adapt to what makes the boss more effective is the secret of 'managing the boss'. Taking the responsibility of communicating how you perform reduces personality conflicts. Organizations are built on trust between people, not necessarily meaning that they like each other, but that they understand one another. In the knowledge industry  Mostly, success is at best an absence of failure  Knowledge workers outlive the organizations  Knowledge workers are mobile, and may not stay put  The need to manage oneself is therefore creating a revolution in human affairs. Managing oneself required new and unprecedented things from the individual to the point where each knowledge working thinks and behaves like a CEO. WHAT MAKES A LEADER Daniel Goleman opens his article with a quick reference about a leader who “fails” and a leader who “soars” when given similar opportunities. What determines who has the “right stuff” to be a truly great leader? Goleman believes each leadership situation is to be studied as unique but one common thread is undeniable—a high level of “emotional intelligence”.

As summarized in the article, what distinguishes great leaders from merely good ones is emotional intelligence (EI), a group of five skills that enable the best leaders to maximize their own and their followers' performance. The EI skills are:  Self-awareness - knowing one's strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and impact on others  Self-regulation - controlling or redirecting disruptive impulses and moods  Motivation - relishing achievement for its own sake  Empathy - understanding other people's emotional makeup  Social skill - building rapport with others to move them in desired directions. Dr. Goleman notes that we are each born with certain levels of EI skills, but we can strengthen these abilities through persistence, practice, and feedback from colleagues or coaches.

UNDERSTAN DING COMMUNICATION IN ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP Everyone has experienced interpersonal conflicts and misunderstandings in both their personal and professional lives. So pervasive is this phenomenon that it takes up a disproportionately large amount of space in the literature written for and by managers. Indeed, the expression "communication problem" is now used so commonly that it is often applied to just about any difficulty that exists between two people, whether or not a communication problem actually exists. Not all interpersonal problems or conflicts are communication problems. Two managers may have difficulty working with each other for many different reasons. They may understand each other extremely well (and therefore not have a communication problem); however, one may not act as the other wishes. "Effective" Communication versus "Good" Communication The major common concern is with effective communication. And it is a suitable concern for people in management who are constantly trying to use communication to obtain specific results. When a communication does obtain the intended outcomes, it can be properly called "effective." But effective communication requires in most instances "good" communication, which means that party B has understood a concept that party A wished to convey to B. Good communication is a prerequisite but does not insure effective communication. In practice it is not easy to separate the communication process itself from other processes involved in effective communication. But the communicator should be alert to this distinction. A Case of Misunderstanding

A misunderstanding had taken place, the roots of which we cannot understand without getting a better sense of what Steve experienced before and during his dealings with Tom. To begin with, Steve had no serious intention of moving to another company until after the memo from Tom arrived. On the contrary, he had been very satisfied with his career in the company. He had enjoyed his work and had received two promotions within three years. While Tom saw the transfer as a recognition of Steve's performance, Steve saw it as a sign that his past performance was not good enough. Steve had reasons on which to base this supposition. He had accepted his promotions and Tom's praise as clear signs of approval but now wondered if Tom had been less satisfied than he had seemed. The thought that this might have been the case angered him, since neither Tom nor his area manager had given him any indication they were unhappy with his results. Understanding the Misunderstanding To diagnose and prevent miscommunications of the type just described, we need some means of understanding what each person experiences during an exchange and why each person experiences it differently. A relatively simple but effective way of doing this is to use a framework that describes experiencing in terms of assumptions, perceptions, and feelings. Assumptions are defined as the values, attitudes, and beliefs that a person has about how things "ought" to be in a given situation. The "ought" of these assumptions should be stressed because typically the assumptions that are at the root of misunderstandings have both an imperatives and normative dimension to them. They are seldom neutral or value-free in nature. By perceptions we mean what the person actually sees, hears, or otherwise senses as taking place in a situation (as compared with what he or she thinks ought to be occurring). Dissonance results when a person's perceptions are in conflict with his or her assumptions. Feelings are the emotive and affective responses of a person in reaction to a given situation; they are the emotions that are triggered by what a person sees taking place. BUILDING EFFECTIVE ON-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP Reading the article it seems that resolving a conflict in one to one work relationship is not that difficult, just need to apply some simple questions to inquire other’s view, however I believe it needs a whole life learning time to master it. Knowing our own strength or weakness could help us to understand our tendency in one to one work relationship; are we easy to go into conflict or more into conflict avoidance behavior As you advance in your careers, excellent technical competencies will not be enough. Your success will be more and more on your human competencies – your ability to do the important interpersonal work of developing effective work relationship with key individuals. The quality of a manager’s work relationship are especially critical at the upper functional and general management levels. Below are key points from the reading: 1. Our reasoning with regard to interpersonal matters should be as analytical, strategic, and as datadriven as any other management discipline 2. Effective managers must know how to build relationship, based on mutual expectations, trust, and influence, with the complex network of people of whom they are interdependent 3. Although it is easier to develop relationship with those who share the same background, values, interest, or working style, as a manager you must be able to diagnose potential barriers to establishing mutually beneficial relationship with different individuals, and find a basis upon which to build more effective relationship 4. The degree of relationship can be measured based on : 1) Mutual expectations about performance, goals and priorities 2) Mutual trust that develops in a relationship 3) Mutually influence each other beyond what is accorded to them by virtue of their roles 5. Effective relationship is one that mutual expectations, trust and influence grow overtime and become more concrete, tested and grounded

6. Conflicts will inevitably arise, even when you have good intentions. You have to use your basic thinking skills to identify such conflicts and find out how to resolve it 7. Manager need to balance advocacy and inquiry skill to promote mutual learning and when trying to resolve a conflict. This skill helps both parties test their mental models, that is, clarify their assumptions, uncover internal contradictions in their assumptions, and develop a mutual and more accurate and refined understanding of what really transpired and why. 8. Some simple questions can be used to advocate your own view and to inquire into other’s view. MANAGING YOUR TEAM To create the conditions for team success, not Most seasoned managers understand that their only do managers have to manage the team's success is dependent on how effectively they boundary, but also they have to manage the can build a well-functioning team. In his team itself-design the team and facilitate the research on the key differences between team's process. effective and ineffective managers, Gabarro  Designing the Team quoted a consumer-goods division manager  What type of teamwork is needed? who had successfully turned around a number  Team composition and structure of organizations. In contrast to the perspective Facilitating the Team Process of the seasoned manager, the article found that Effective managers pay attention not only to most new managers fail to recognize,much less the team task but also to the team process-how address, their team-building responsibilities. the team gets its work done. The managerial T h e y focus primarily on managing individual role is not so much to dictate how the team performance, and pay little or no attention to members should go about their collaborative team performance. work; rather, it is to help them learn how to What is an Effective Team? minimize the process losses that invariably Managers should apply three occur in groups and take advantage of the interrelatedcriteria in assessing overall team synergistic process gains. effectiveness:  Shaping the team's culture An important way in which a manager can 1. Does the team's output (e.g., facilitate the team's process is by decisions, products, services) meet shaping the team's culture-the basic the standards of those- who have to use assumptions and beliefs that are shared by it? the team members, that operate 2. Does the team experience contribute unconsciously, and are taken-for-granted. to the personal well-being and development of the members?  Coaching the team Does 3. the team experience enhance the Too often, managers assume that the capability of the members to work and team members know how to work learn together in thefuture? together effectively. In fact, team Managing the Team's Boundary members may not know how to work it out among themselves. Team members If their teams are to be effective, managers have may have the technical expertise to continually scan their competitive necessary to complete a task but not environment and monitor the activities of key interpersonal expertise. external constituencies on whom they are Managing Paradox dependent. These constituencies and prepare the By now it should be apparent that teamwork is team for new opportunities and threats. The more hard work because it is a process of managing turbulent the external environment, the more paradox. To this end, it is instructive to step attention should be paid to competitive back and consider the five conflicting forces or monitoring and communication with tensions at the heart of team life. These constituencies outside the organization. Managing the Team Itself

paradoxes must be understood, accepted, and as much as possible, balanced." Embrace individual differences and collective identity and goals. The first paradox is the need to embrace individual differences and pursue a collective identity and goals. As MANAGING MULTICULTURAL TEAMS Multicultural teams often generate frustrating management dilemmas. Cultural differences can create substantial obstacles to effective teamwork—but these may be subtle and difficult to recognize until significant damage has already been done. The challenge in managing multicultural teams effectively is to recognize underlying cultural causes of conflict, and to intervene in ways that both get the team back on track and empower its members to deal with future challenges themselves. The good news is that cultural challenges are manageable if managers and team members choose the right strategy and avoid imposing single-culturebased approaches on multicultural situations. The Challenges People tend to assume that challenges on multicultural teams arise from differing styles of communication. But this is only one of the four categories that can create barriers to a team’s ultimate success. These categories are direct versus indirect communication; trouble with accents and fluency; differing attitudes toward hierarchy and authority; and conflicting norms for decision making. Direct versus indirect communication. In cross-cultural negotiations, the nonWesterner can understand the direct communications of the Westerner, but the Westerner has difficulty understanding the indirect communications of the non-Westerner. The differences between direct and indirect

discussed earlier, team effectiveness usually demands a mix of diverse individuals. For the team to benefit from the diversity, the team has to have a process that allows for the different voices-perspectives, priorities, styles-to be expressed and heard. communication can cause serious damage to relationships when team projects run into problems. Communication challenges create barriers to effective teamwork by reducing information sharing, creating interpersonal conflict, or both. In Japan, a typical response to direct confrontation is to isolate the norm violator. Trouble with accents and fluency. Although the language of international business is English, misunderstandings or deep frustration may occur because of nonnative speakers’ accents, lack of fluency, or problems with translation or usage. These may also influence perceptions of status or competence. No fluent team members may well be the most expert on the team, but their difficulty communicating knowledge makes it hard for the team to recognize and utilize their expertise. If teammates become frustrated or impatient with a lack of fluency, interpersonal conflicts can arise. Nonnative speakers may become less motivated to contribute, or anxious about their performance evaluations and future career prospects. Differing attitudes toward hierarchy and authority. A challenge inherent in multicultural teamwork is that by design, teams have a rather flat structure. But team members from some cultures, in which people are treated differently according to their status in an organization, are uncomfortable on flat teams.

Conflicting norms for decision making. Cultures differ enormously when it comes to decision making—particularly, how quickly decisions should be made and how much analysis is required beforehand. Not surprisingly, U.S. managers like to make decisions very quickly and with relatively little analysis by comparison with managers from other countries. Four Strategies The most successful teams and managers used four strategies for dealing with these challenges:

1. adaptation (acknowledging cultural gaps openly and working around them) 2. structural intervention (changing the shape of the team) 3. managerial intervention (setting norms early or bringing in a higher-level manager), 4. exit (removing a team member when other options have failed). There is no one right way to deal with a particular kind of multicultural problem; identifying the type of challenge is only the first step. The more crucial step is assessing the circumstances—or “enabling situational conditions”—under which the team is working.

HARNESSING THE SCIENCE OF PERSUASION Few people are born with persuasion talent, people that mastering that talent can easily capture the audience and convert the opposition. Watching the people that mastering the art of persuasion is at once impressive and frustrating. Impressive because they can easily use their charisma to influence people and frustrating because they know well how to do it but they are often unable to pass their skill to other. Although persuasion is a gifted talent but some research believe that persuasion works by appealing to a limited set of deeply rooted human drives and needs, and it does so in predictable ways. Persuasion, in other words, is governed by basic principles that can be taught, learned, and applied. There are six fundamental principle of persuasion that can be applied by the executive at the company. The principle of liking People like those who like them, similarity literally draws people together. People can create bond with other through similarity, it’s important to establish bond early because it can create presumption of goodwill and trustworthiness in every subsequent encounter. Praise is the other reliable generator of affection. Experimental data show that positive remark about other person traits, attitude, or performance will generate liking in return. The principle of reciprocity People repay in kind, if you lend person who is shorthanded you will increase your chance of getting help when you need it. Gift giving is one of the cruder applications of the rule of reciprocity. In its more sophisticated uses, it confers a genuine first-mover advantage. The principle of social proof People will follow the lead of similar others, in a donation charity campaign the longer the donor list was the more likely other would be to donate as well. The principle of consistency People align with their clear commitments, most people once they take a stand or go on record in favor of a position, prefer to stick to it. Commitment can have a powerful effect on future actions. Liking is a powerful force but the work of persuasion involves more than simply malting people feel warmly

toward you, your idea, or your product. People need not only to like you but to feel committed to what you want them to do. The principle of authority People defer to experts, executive should establish their own expertise before they attempt to exert influence. The principle of scarcity People want more of what they can have less of, study said that item and opportunity are more valuable if they become less available. The power of exclusivity is very effective to raise item or information value, even dull information with the touch of exclusivity can be very special. Putting it all together The rules of ethic apply to the science of social influence just as they do to any other technology. The commitments never felt voluntary, so the department heads never followed through, and as a result the vice president initiatives all blew up or petered out. THE USES AND ABUSES OF INFLUENCE The ability to persuade others to contribute to your efforts is a key skill for managers, for team members and for anyone who wants to elevate the probability of success. Research presented in the Harvard Business Review by leading social scientist and the author of Influence, Robert Cialdini, has found that persuasion works by appealing to certain deeply rooted human responses. Six of the responses include: 1. Liking. If people like you – because they sense that you like them, or because of things you have in common – they’re more apt to say yes to you. 2. Reciprocity. People tend to return favors. If you help people, they’ll help you. If you behave (cooperatively), they’ll respond in kind. 3. Social Proof. People will do things they see other people doing – especially if those people seem similar to them. 4. Commitment and consistency. People want to be consistent, or at least to appear to be. If they make a public, voluntary commitment, they’ll try to follow through. 5. Authority. People defer to experts and to those in positions of authority (and typically underestimate their tendency to do so). 6. Scarcity. People value things more if they perceive them to be scarce. INFLUENCE WITHOUT AUTHORITY Whether someone is above you or below you in the corporate hierarchy, you often need to motivate them to get work done. Even if you're the top person, just ordering someone to do

something won't necessarily work, as any CEO with a vision for major change can attest. At the heart of exerting influence are these six key concepts: 1. Influence is about trades, exchanging something of value for what you want.

2. Relationships matter; the more good ones you have, the greater the odds of finding someone you can trade with. 3. Influence requires that you know what you're doing, have reasonable plans, and are competent enough for the task at hand. 4. To be effective, you have to use influence for the ultimate good of the organization, not just for yourself. 5. The biggest difficulty with having influence often resides with you. 6. We are all potentially more influential than we think we are.

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Third, we'll examine how you can apply the influence model to familiar situations. Finally, there are five major traps to avoid when making trades. They are:  Failure to do your homework on what the other person cares about.  Failure to let go of your previous analysis in the face of new evidence in real time.  Bluffing from a low power position.  Being so afraid of negative reactions that you don't use all possible exchange tools.  Going all-out to win at the expense of the relationship. There are three central principles to follow in influencing your boss, no matter what currencies are at your disposal or what your boss's personal style:  First, show your boss that it is in his interest to change his behavior.  Second, show your boss that it is in his interest for you to be successful and satisfied, because this will get the best work out of you.  Third, deliver your preference in a style that is compatible with your boss's style. Whatever the group, and whatever its culture and language, here are six key points to consider when trying to influence them:  First, treat them as if they were customers.  Second, take the group's point of view, not your own.  Third, avoid stereotyping.  Fourth, don't be afraid to air conflicts and own up to the part your group may have played in them.  Fifth, before beginning, determine the minimum cooperation you will need to achieve your goals, and the potential benefits from full collaboration.  Sixth, don't let failure discourage you

You can learn how to be more effective by developing true influence over the people with whom you work. In this summary, we will explore the following topics:  First, we will outline the core influence model, including identifying your allies, clarifying your goals, and finding the tradeoffs that can help you reach those goals.  Second, we will take you through each of the stages of the influence model, from learning what you have that's worth trading, to what potential allies value for trading purposes, to building effective relationships, and making mutually profitable trades. POWER DYNAMICS IN ORGANIZATIONS What is Power? Power define as the potential of an individual (or group) to influence another individual or group. Is ineffective for the individual? Is it effective for the organization? Is it ethical? These are three questions as interrelated criteria that we should apply in evaluating an individual's exercise of power and

influence. In answering those questions, both the short- and long-term consequences of an individual's actions should be assessed. Organizations as Political Entities Political conflict over scarce or key organizational resources is inevitable, given the challenges of managing in contemporary organizations. In Realities of Managerial Life there are “The Challenge” and "The Solution”. Interdependency, diversity, and power gap are included into “The Challenge” and “The Solution” consists of Law of Reciprocity and Networks. Organizations consist of interdependent individuals(and groups) with divergent interests who must figure out how to reconcile these interests. The more interdependence, diversity, and resource scarcity in an organization, the more political conflict. There are prevention factors that help to reduce the amount of conflict such as the consistency of organization successfully negotiating win-win resolutions. There are precipitating factors that exacerbate the conflict in an organization though. When super ordinate goals and values do not exist it can be political conflict in organizations. Shared goals and values can be lacking for a variety of reasons, for instance, when no shared culture exists or strong leaders fail to define a vision behind which people are aligned and motivated. To eliminate political conflict, managers would have to eliminate diversity, including the division of labor and specialization. Diversity and conflict are essential ingredients for creativity and innovation. Power and influence are the mechanisms by which the inevitable political conflicts in organizations get resolved. The distribution of power and influence in organizations is generally aligned with the realities they face and can become institutionalized and thereby endure well beyond its usefulness. Where Does Power Come From? A person's power is determined by two sets of factors: positional and personal characteristics. The sources of positional power are formal authority, relevance, centrality, autonomy and visibility. And expertise, track record, attractiveness and effort are the sources of personal power. Assessing Power Dynamics In assessing the power dynamics in a given situation, you need to: 1. Identify the interdependencies among the relevant parties. Who is dependent on whom and for what? Whose cooperation is needed? Whose compliance? 2. Determine the sources of power of the relevant parties. 3. After the interdependent parties have been identified, analyze the relevant differences among them. What are the underlying factors that have created or are reinforcing those differences? How might these differences lead to other assumptions or perceptions about the current situation? Around what issues can you expect conflict? 4. Analyze the broader context. How much potential for political conflict exists? Where are the major alliances? The major rivalries? Are there any precipitating factors? Are there any prevention factors? How are key players likely to respond to conflict? Will their response most likely lead to constructive or destructive consequences? 5. Periodically update your diagnosis. Power dynamics are just that dynamic.