A Finger Slip - Pawtal

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/601000. Rating: Archive Warning: Category: Fandom: Relationship: Character: Additional Tags: Stats:

General Audiences Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings M/M Sherlock (TV) Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Mycroft Holmes AU College, Fluff, Texting, AU, Johnlock - Freeform, Teenlock, Humour, mentions of drug use, Dialogue, All Dialogue Fic Published: 2012-12-20 Completed: 2014-01-22 Chapters: 25/25 Words: 46637

A Finger Slip by Pawtal Summary

"You may be the most interesting person I've ever met." "We haven't met." "A minor detail." All dialogue AU in which John sends a text to the wrong number by mistake. Little does he know the person he just texted will impact his life more than he could have imagined.

Notes

IMPORTANT: The original idea for this fic is not mine, iknowitainteasy on livejournal wrote a Klaine fic called Little Numbers, which is amazing and ten million times better than this. You should go read it, regardless of whether you like Klaine. It's just a brilliant story. Anyway, it inspired me to think about what the Sherlock version of Little Numbers might be, and thus this was created... I hope it's somewhat entertaining. Here's the link to Little Numbers. Check it out ^-^ Translations: Italiano by WibblyWobbly 中文

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October 19th Chapter Summary

At least I won't be the one savaged to death tonight with a petri dish.

John : Sherlock : Greg

Friday 19th October 2012

(Fri 3:24pm) I’m at the store now, is there anything you want me to bring over for tonight?

(Fri 3:25pm) I wasn’t aware anything was happening tonight. But if you must come over, bring some petri dishes. I’ve run out.

(Fri 3:27pm) Petri dishes? What? I thought we were watching movies...

(Fri 3:27pm) Movies, Greg? Really? We’re not 12 year old girls.

(Fri 3:30pm) Oh, I’m not Greg. Must be a wrong number, sorry!

(Fri 3:31pm) I see. Too dim to check the number you’re actually texting, then. Drunk, maybe.

(Fri 3:32pm) It’s actually because I have a new phone, and I said sorry, no need to be a snarky git.

(Fri 3:32pm) Well you’ve wasted my time.

(Fri 3:33pm) Jesus. Fine, go back to you’re petri dishes.

(Fri 3:33pm) *Your.

(Fri 3:33pm) What? (Fri 3:35pm) I corrected your grammar. It’s what people who fear for the lack of intelligent people still on the planet do.

(Fri 3:36pm) I am intelligent! It was autocorrected.

(Fri 3:36pm) Someone’s a little defensive.

(Fri 3:38pm) Are you always this much of a prick?

(Fri 3:39pm) Only when interacting with idiots. Which is pretty much everyone.

(Fri 3:41pm) I bet people love you at work, don’t they.

(Fri 3:41pm) College.

(Fri 3:42pm) Seriously?

(Fri 3:43pm) Why is that so hard to believe?

(Fri 3:43pm) Just the way you... I don’t know.

(Fri 3:44pm) Well you’re obviously still in education as well. Year 11 at the least, I’d say, judging from your unrefined grammar skills.

(Fri 3:46pm) 2nd year at college actually, I’m studying medicine.

(Fri 3:47pm) How nice.

(Fri 3:50pm) What are you studying?

(Fri 3:53pm) I actually don’t study at college. Not anymore, anyway. I do independent work on things that interest me.

(Fri 3:54pm) But you told me you were in college...

(Fri 3:55pm) Yes, well, I would still be in college. There was a... situation.

(Fri 3:55pm) So... you got expelled?

(Fri 3:57pm) Something like that.

(Fri 3:58pm) What happened?

(Fri 4:00pm) It’s a tedious story and I’m a little busy.

(Fri 4:04pm) Right, yeah. I’m not really sure why I expected you to share that. I don’t even know your name.

(Fri 4:06pm) Sherlock.

(Fri 4:06pm) What’s that?

(Fri 4:06pm) My name. It’s Sherlock.

(Fri 4:07pm) Your name is Sherlock?

(Fri 4:07pm) Thank you for repeating what I just informed you.

(Fri 4:09pm) It’s unusual, that’s all.

(Fri 4:11pm) And I’m sure your name is something incredibly common and uninteresting.

(Fri 4:13pm) ... John.

(Fri 4:13pm) Case closed.

(Fri 4:14pm) Oh, shut up.

(Fri 4:14pm) I can’t say it’s not fun.

(Fri 4:15pm) What? Annoying me?

(Fri 4:15pm) Yes.

(Fri 4:15pm) Charming.

(Fri 4:17pm) That may be the first time anyone has ever used that word to describe me.

(Fri 4:16pm) I’m not surprised to be perfectly honest. I’m doing well then?

(Fri 4:16pm) I wouldn’t go as far to say ‘well’. You’re managing.

(Fri 4:17pm) Right. Well, thanks for being the company for my walk home.

(Fri 4:18pm) It was tolerable.

(Fri 4:23pm) But I have to say, I am half expecting to find you climbing through my window tonight with a knife between your teeth. Stranger danger, and all that.

(Fri 4:25pm) But you’re going to someone’s house tonight for a party, like simple-minded people do on Friday nights.

(Fri 4:26pm) Oh yeah.

(Fri 4:26pm) My knife can wait.

------------------------------------------------------

(Sat 1:25am) SHeerrlooockkk. Is that really your name? Sherrrrlock. Did your mum pick it out for you? Ha haha

(Sat 1:26am) Is this John?

(Sat 1:26am) Maybe.

(Sat 1:28am) It’s 1:30am.

(Sat 1:30am) Do people call you Sherly? Haha, or Sherly Temple! That’s genius.

(Sat 1:31am)

This time I know you’re drunk.

(Sat 1:37am) Sorry, that was my friend.

(Sat 1:38am) What wonderful taste in friends you have.

(Sat 1:38am) They’ve all had a bit to drink.

(Sat 1:38am) Clearly.

(Sat 1:40am) Did it wake you?

(Sat 1:42am) No. And there’s no need to keep texting me. You don’t even know who I am.

(Sat 1:44am) Sure I do, you’re the serial killer who murders his victims with petri dishes.

(Sat 1:45am) Your enthusiasm to carry on our conversations is worrying and verging on annoying.

(Sat 1:46am) Are you breaking up with me?

(Sat 1:46am) Very funny.

(Sat 1:46am) I try.

(Sat 1:48am) Why don’t you talk to your girlfriend, instead of avoiding her all night by texting me?

(Sat 1:48am) How do you know if I have a girlfriend?

(Sat 1:48am) Boyfriend?

(Sat 1:48am) No.

(Sat 1:49am) I just know.

(Sat 1:49am) You’re a little creepy.

(Sat 1:49am) I try.

(Sat 1:50am) I’m not avoiding her.

(Sat 1:50am) Of course not.

(Sat 1:52am) I’m not. She’s busy anyway, talking to other people.

(Sat 1:52am) Mhmm.

(Sat 1:52am) If anything, she’s avoiding me.

(Sat 1:53am) Lovely.

(Sat 1:54am) She didn’t even introduce me to Abbie.

(Sat 1:54am) Spectacular.

(Sat 1:54am) Or ask if I wanted a beer.

(Sat 1:55am) Who’s Abbie?

(Sat 1:55am) She always asks if I want a beer.

(Sat 1:57am) John, as much as I would love to watch the downfall of your love life unravel in a giant wave of sudden realisation and your own hopeless despair, I really couldn’t care less.

(Sat 1:58am) Firstly, that was oddly poetic. Secondly, piss off. Katy and I are perfectly fine.

(Sat 1:58am) Doesn’t sound like it.

(Sat 1:59am) Well, you don’t know me! Or her, for that matter.

(Sat 2:01am) I don’t need to. I’m going to guess that she’s cheating on you with the guy who she’s talking to right now. Just watch and see if her hand reaches out to touch his arm…

(Sat 2:02am) Jesus Christ you are such a prick.

(Sat 2:04am) And yet you keep texting me.

(Sat 2:05am) You keep replying.

(Sat 2:07am) At least I won’t be the one savaged to death tonight with a petri dish.

(Sat 2:08am) Are you like this in real life?

(Sat 2:08am) Is this not real life?

(Sat 2:10am) You know what I mean.

(Sat 2:11am) I’m afraid I don’t. It’s hard to understand the workings of the funny little brains belonging to those less intellectual than an ant.

(Sat 2:14am) Ha! I like that one.

(Sat 2:15am) You’re not supposed to.

(Sat 2:25am) It’s late, everyone’s leaving now.

(Sat 2:26am) I think you mean early.

(Sat 2:27am) I think I mean shut up.

(Sat 2:28am) Touchy. So you should be leaving me alone now, right?

(Sat 2:28am) No chance.

------------------------------------------------------

(Mon 12:15pm) Should I go for the chicken tikka or the tuna? (Mon 12:19pm) Oh here we go. (Mon 12:24pm) Never mind, I got the chicken. (Mon 12:25pm) Is there even any purpose behind your texts now? (Mon 12:28pm) Hey, my sandwich filling is a huge deal. Anyway, I just finished a class and I’m alone for lunch so I thought I’d bother you to pass the time.

(Mon 12:30pm)

I’m not surprised you’re alone after you spent Friday night texting me instead of engaging with your actual friends. People will think you’re hiding something.

(Mon 12:31pm) Are you proposing that you’re my secret lover?

(Mon 12:33pm) Absolutely not.

(Mon 12:36pm) So how are you spending your lunch?

(Mon 12:38pm) I’m currently writing up a hypothesis.

(Mon 12:40pm) You’re not going to eat?

(Mon 12:45pm) Eating slows me down.

(Mon 12:46pm) Are you one of those vampires then? Don’t eat, don’t sleep, bit of a paedophile? I wouldn’t put it past you.

(Mon 12:48pm) You obviously haven’t read Dracula.

(Mon 12:49pm) Shoot me.

(Mon 12:51pm) Have you read anything that is intellectually stimulating?

(Mon 12:55pm)

You underestimate me. I’ve read some classics.

(Mon 12:55pm) Like what?

(Mon 12:57pm) Catcher In The Rye.

(Mon 12:58pm) Dull.

(Mon 12:59pm) You didn’t like it then…

(Mon 1:01pm) Only an idiot would enjoy it.

(Mon 1:03pm) Ah okay, so you’re one of those people who thinks their opinion is the most important thing in the world.

(Mon 1:05pm) Only because I don’t store opinions, just facts.

(Mon 1:07pm) I feel like I’m seeing a new side to you.

(Mon 1:10pm) I wasn’t aware I had a previous side.

(Mon 1:12pm) I guess you don’t know everything then. (Mon 1:14pm) Anyway, as much as I love our little talks, I have a class starting in a few minutes.

(Mon 1:17pm) I pray that you learn something.

------------------------------------------------------

(Tues 8:20pm) Who’s John? Do I know him?

(Tues 8:25pm) No one. How do you know about him?

(Tues 8:27pm) I have a third eye.

(Tues 8:27pm) Greg.

(Tues 8:29pm) I kind of peeked at your phone yesterday…

(Tues 8:32pm) You looked through my text messages?

(Tues 8:33pm) Honestly, I didn’t expect to find anything interesting. (Tues 8:34pm) And you were taking a long time in the kitchen… (Tues 8:37pm) So…?

(Tues 8:30pm) So what?

(Tues 8:33pm) This John fella. He’s ‘no one’?

(Tues 8:36pm) Yes, no one. He sometimes bothers me when he wants to avoid his girlfriend or amuse himself at lunch. We don’t know each other.

(Tues 8:38pm) But you must know each other somehow.

(Tues 8:40pm) He sent a text to the wrong number, which happened to be me. I thought it was you who sent it.

(Tues 8:41pm) Why’d you think that?

(Tues 8:45pm) I just assumed… you’re the only one who has my number. Besides Mycroft.

(Tues 8:47pm) Ah, right. (Tues 8:49pm) So, do you like him?

(Tues 8:50pm) You know I don’t like idiots.

(Tues 8:52pm) John’s not an idiot though, is he?

(Tues 8:53pm) Debatable.

(Tues 8:57pm) He must be the only person who has actually made an effort with you. He must genuinely think

you’re interesting if he’s still talking to you after your arrogant replies. (Tues 8:59pm) How many times has that happened? (Tues 9:11pm) Sherlock?

(Tues 9:14pm) This has all proved to be a distraction.

(Tues 9:15pm) From what?

(Tues 9:18pm) Things that are more important than a puerile college student asking me which sandwich filling he should choose.

(Tues 9:19pm) Oh come on, it’s kind of romantic. It’s like it was written in the stars!

(Tues 9:20pm) Piss off Greg, it’s nothing like that at all.

(Tues 9:21pm) It could be, if you gave it a chance.

(Tues 9:23pm) Have you been reading your sister’s magazines again?

(Tues 9:24pm) Every night ;-)

(Tues 9:25pm) You don’t even know if either of us are gay. John has a girlfriend, remember.

(Tues 9:27pm) You don’t need to be gay to like someone of the same sex as you.

(Tues 9:28pm) What do you need to be then?

(Tues 9:30pm) In love.

(Tues 9:34pm) I’m ending this conversation right now, you’re being ridiculous.

(Tues 9:35pm) Haha! I’m only teasing you. (Tues 9:42pm) Sherlock? (Tues 9:47pm) Fine, see you.

(Tues 9:56pm) Git.

October 26th Chapter Summary

Why are we doing this?

Chapter 2

Friday 26th October

(Fri 4:29pm) Hello :)

(Fri 4:32pm) Really John? A smiley face?

(Fri 4:33pm) Is someone a little grumpy today?

(Fri 4:33pm) No. (Fri 4:35pm) Well I just spent the last ten minutes trying to think of a witty conversation starter and gave up, so you better be grateful.

(Fri 4:35pm) Why?

(Fri 4:36pm) Why what?

(Fri 4:38pm) I mean, why are you texting me this time? Bored? Are you waiting for someone?

I mean, why are you texting me this time? Bored? Are you waiting for someone?

(Fri 4:39pm) I just like talking to you. (Fri 4:41pm) So it’s Halloween soon, do you have anything planned?

(Fri 4:42pm) Don’t tell me you celebrate that ludicrous excuse for a holiday.

(Fri 4:43pm) Hey, Halloween night in London is great! We’re going on a pub-crawl.

(Fri 4:45pm) It’s just another night for teenagers to get drunk, lose some more essential brain cells and keep me up all night with their shouting.

(Fri 4:46pm) I’m sensing you’re not a party person. (Fri 4:47pm) Or a people person. (Fri 4:47pm) Or a city person.

(Fri 4:49pm) Right. Right. Wrong. I live in London too.

(Fri 4:49pm) Really?

(Fri 4:50pm) You think I lied?

(Fri 4:50pm) No, no. It’s just a happy coincidence.

(Fri 4:51pm)

For you, maybe.

(Fri 4:52pm) You don’t like London?

(Fri 4:53pm) No, I do like London. I just don’t like where I live, with my family.

(Fri 4:54pm) And where’s that?

(Fri 4:54pm) You think I’m going to tell you?

(Fri 4:56pm) Well drat, my homicidal plots have been foiled. I’ll have to start from scratch. I hope you’re happy.

(Fri 4:56pm) Thrilled.

(Fri 4:57pm) Speaking of family, what’s yours like?

(Fri 4:58pm) You couldn’t have chosen a more tiresome conversation topic.

(Fri 4:59pm) Well I don’t see you coming up with anything. Have you noticed that it’s always me that texts you first?

(Fri 5:00pm) Yes, I have noticed.

(Fri 5:10pm)

Katy’s here, I need to go.

(Fri 5:12pm) So you were waiting for someone.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Sat 10:12pm) Hey.

(Sat 10:14pm) Why are we doing this?

(Sat 10:15pm) Doing what?

(Sat 10:17pm) This texting… thing.

(Sat 10:18pm) Because you corrected my grammar. (Sat 10:19pm) Which, by the way, wasn’t autocorrected. I lied. (Sat 10:21pm) So technically, you started it. (Sat 10:28pm) Sherlock?

------------------------------------------------------------

(Tues 12:15pm) It’s that time of the day again.

(Tues 12:17pm) Don’t even ask, because I will not answer.

(Tues 12:19pm) All right, who pissed in your cornflakes?

(Tues 12:20pm) No one.

(Tues 12:23pm) Okay. I won’t ask you which sandwich filling I should have.

(Tues 12:24pm) Good.

(Tues 12:25pm) I got the ham anyway.

(Tues 12:25pm) Are you trying to annoy me?

(Tues 12:26pm) Is it working?

(Tues 12:27pm) I really don’t need this right now.

(Tues 12:29pm) Hey, I’m sorry. Is everything all right?

(Tues 12:31pm) Everything’s spectacular, if you like nursing a bleeding nose and a swollen eye while being yelled at by your parents and your stupid, smug older brother.

(Tues 12:33pm) Jesus, sorry. I forgot that you’re not just this guy that lives in my phone. That sounds like shit. What’s the deal with your parents?

(Tues 12:34pm) Almost every week we have an argument about college and other things and how they know absolutely nothing and how I want to leave here as soon as I possibly can.

(Tues 12:35pm) Oh. Then how did you get the bleeding nose?

(Tues 12:36pm) These pissheads on my street who think they’re funny.

(Tues 12:38pm) These guys on your street punched you? Was it a fight or do they just do it for kicks?

(Tues 12:39pm) I’m not talking about this with you.

(Tues 12:40pm) Oh come on. If you can’t talk to the annoying guy who lives in your phone, who can you talk to?

(Tues 12:41pm) Are you trying to be funny? Don’t.

(Tues 12:42pm) People deal with tough things in different ways.

(Tues 12:43pm) This isn’t a ‘tough thing’ okay? You don’t get it.

(Tues 12:44pm) Don’t act like I don’t know what a punch in the face feels like. And I go through hard things too. Katy and I had a fight last night.

(Tues 12:46pm) Brilliant, did she finally tell you who she’s cheating on you with?

(Tues 12:47pm) You know, I’m trying to be nice. You should have someone to talk to, even if you are an arse.

(Tues 12:48pm) And you think you’re that person? We’ve never met, John! This whole thing was an accident, a slip of the finger.

(Tues 12:50pm) You could have stopped replying at any time. You could have deleted my number. You still can!

(Tues 12:52pm) Do you want me to? If I’m this much of an arse, why keep texting me?

(Tues 12:53pm) Because I can’t un-know you.

(Tues 12:53pm) What?

(Tues 12:54pm) Forget it, I’m going to class.

-----------------------------------------------------(Thurs 00:13am) Sherlock.

(Thurs 00:15am) John?

(Thurs 00:16am) I wanted to apologise.

(Thurs 00:17pm) I’m trying to sleep.

(Thurs 00:18am) So am I. But I can’t. (Thurs 00:20am) Look, I’m sorry I called you an arse, and I’m sorry that you have stuff to deal with and I can’t help you.

(Thurs 00:22am) Sleeping.

(Thurs 00:23am) Also, you were right about Katy. I brought it up today.

(Thurs 00:24am) Of course I was right. And I think you mean yesterday.

(Thurs 00:25am) Don’t get clever on me now, Sherlock.

(Thurs 00:25am) You want me to be dull? All right, I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Katy.

(Thurs 00:26am) Really, though?

(Thurs 00:26am) No.

(Thurs 00:27am) Figured.

(Thurs 00:28am) You told me yourself, I’m not a people person.

(Thurs 00:29am) Yeah, I know.

(Thurs 00:30am) Why doesn’t it bother you? It bothered people at my school.

(Thurs 00:31am) I’m not one of those people who punches other people in the face because they’re a little different… and obnoxious.

(Thurs 00:32am) You don’t know why they punched me.

(Thurs 00:33am) It wasn’t hard to figure out.

(Thurs 00:34am) You have no idea.

(Thurs 00:35am) Then tell me.

(Thurs 00:35am) Sleeping.

----------------------------------------------------

(Thurs 7:47pm) What’s your brother like?

(Thurs 8:04pm) Why?

(Thurs 8:05pm) Just asking. (Thurs 8:06pm)

And you know you can ask questions back.

(Thurs 8:10pm) Mycroft is a smarmy git who thinks he knows everything; he’s currently on his 12th diet and has, unsurprisingly, been single his whole life. Annoyingly, he has found work within the government, which means mother is treating him like he just eradicated world hunger. Is that enough?

(Thurs 8:12pm) I take it you two don’t get along?

(Thurs 8:13pm) I like to eat cupcakes in front of him. The pain in his eyes is hilariously pitiful.

(Thurs 8:14pm) Right. And, Mycroft? Does the unusual name thing run in the family?

(Thurs 8:15pm) Not usually. Do you have any siblings?

(Thurs 8:17pm) I have a sister called Harry. She got pretty drunk on Halloween and passed out in a bush. I had to go get her and drive her home at 3am.

(Thurs 8:18pm) She sounds delightful. Did you dress up? Please tell me you didn’t dress up.

(Thurs 8:19pm) I had a mask. I didn’t do the whole costume thing. Katy wanted me to be a hedgehog but I didn’t want to have the crap kicked out of me…

(Thurs 8:22pm) I’m not really sure how to reply to that.

(Thurs 8:23pm) I don’t blame you. You’re probably going to envision me as a hedgehog from now on, oh God.

(Thurs 8:24pm) I may as well be talking to a hedgehog, the conversation would be equally as stimulating.

(Thurs 8:25pm) Is that your attempt at humour?

(Thurs 8:26pm) Pretty much.

(Thurs 8:27pm) Nice.

---------------------------------------------------

(Fri 12:36pm) Greg, I have a problem.

(Fri 12:41pm) And what might that be?

(Fri 12:42pm) I like John.

(Fri 12:43pm) Whoa, hey. You know everything I said that Tuesday was a joke, right?

(Fri 12:45pm) I don’t mean romantically you idiot.

(Fri 12:48pm) Sure you don’t. Since when has the great Sherlock Holmes ever ‘liked’ someone?

(Fri 12:49pm)

I know, shut up. I was going to get him to stop texting me, but he said something.

(Fri 12:51pm) What?

(Fri 12:52pm) He said he can’t ‘un-know’ me.

(Fri 12:52pm) … What does that even mean?

(Fri 12:56pm) I can’t un-know him, Greg! This is all his fault! It doesn’t matter if I never speak to him again. His sandwich fillings and his stupid drunk sister and this hedgehog face will always be in some corner of my mind!

(Fri 12:57pm) I’m more than a little confused. What do hedgehogs have to do with this?

(Fri 12:59pm) Never mind, I’m going for a walk.

(Fri 00:02am) At midnight? You’ll get stabbed! (Fri 00:07am) Alright then, glad I could help.

November 3rd Chapter Summary

So thanks for being a really useful, arrogant distraction.

Chapter Notes

I have no idea if Regents Park actually holds any fireworks on November 5th, so let's just pretend that it does.

John : Sherlock : Greg

Saturday 3rd November

(Sat 6:42pm) Sherlock, my oldest friend, how are we?

(Sat 6:45pm) Skip the pointless conversation starters, they become repetitive. What is it?

(Sat 6:47pm) You don’t mess around, do you. Straight to the punch, I like it.

(Sat 6:48pm) I can see this is going somewhere fascinating.

(Sat 6:50pm) All right, I was going to see if I could ask you some questions.

(Sat 6:51pm) About what?

(Sat 6:51pm) You.

(Sat 6:52pm) And why am I suddenly the centre of your Saturday evening?

(Sat 6:54pm) Don’t you ever wonder about me? You never have the urge to find stuff out about the person you constantly text?

(Sat 6:54pm) No. (Sat 6:55pm) And it’s hardly constant, John.

(Sat 6:57pm) I’ll act like that didn’t offend me.

(Sat 6:59pm) What could you possibly want to know about me? My shoe size? It’s hardly relevant data.

(Sat 7:00pm) I’m a size 7.

(Sat 7:01pm) You don’t give in.

(Sat 7:04pm) Most people would see that as a good quality :-)

(Sat 7:04pm) Yes…

(Sat 7:05pm) So can I ask?

(Sat 7:06pm) I suppose I can’t stop you. (Sat 7:20pm) John?

(Sat 7:22pm) I’m just thinking. I don’t want to ask anything too personal.

(Sat 7:24pm) It’s not like you’re proposing.

(Sat 7:27pm) No, you’re right. I’m saving that for something special. (Sat 7:30pm) I’m kidding! (Sat 7:34pm) Sherlock?

(Sat 7:34pm) Obviously.

(Sat 7:36pm) Okay, where in London do you live?

(Sat 7:37pm) That’s a little personal.

(Sat 7:39pm) I’m not asking for your address. (7:40pm) Yet. (7:45pm) …Kidding! Again, honestly.

(Sat 7:46pm) Hilarious.

(Sat 7:49pm) Okay, you don’t have to tell me whereabouts you live, but do you know Baker Street?

(Sat 7:52pm) I memorised the map of London at age six. I know every street. But yes, I’ve been to Baker Street.

(Sat 7:53pm) Right, great.

(Sat 7:54pm) Is that where you live?

(Sat 7:55pm) No, but I do live close.

(Sat 7:56pm) Then what is the importance of Baker Street?

(Sat 7:58pm) I don’t know, it just makes you seem more like a real person if I know we’ve walked down the same paths.

(Sat 8:00pm) But there must be something significant about Baker Street, or you wouldn’t have chosen it.

(Sat 8:02pm) Well there’s a café there called Speedy’s. It’s where I met Katy, actually.

(Sat 8:03pm) Sentiment. It’s always sentiment. How long had you been together?

(Sat 8:05pm)

10 months.

(Sat 8:06pm) And how did you celebrate?

(Sat 8:07pm) Celebrate what?

(Sat 8:07pm) The break up.

(Sat 8:10pm) Ha! My friends took me out and bought me drinks all night, then I fell asleep behind my friend’s living room sofa.

(Sat 8:11pm) Very classy.

(Sat 8:13pm) Okay, my next question. Do you have a girlfriend?

(Sat 8:14pm) Girlfriend? No, not really my area.

(Sat 8:16pm) Oh. (Sat 8:19pm) Do you have a boyfriend? (Sat 8:20pm) Which is fine...

(Sat 8:21pm) I know it’s fine.

(Sat 8:27pm) So? (Sat 8:29pm)

(Sat 8:29pm) You have a boyfriend?

(Sat 8:30pm) No.

(Sat 8:33pm) Okay. Single then, like me now. Good.

(Sat 8:36pm) If this is how you won over Katy, I’d be inclined to say you need to re-think your methods. (Sat 8:37pm) And your targets.

(Sat 8:42pm) No… don’t start. I wasn’t suggesting anything.

(Sat 8:44pm) If you say so. Do you have any more questions?

(Sat 8:47pm) What were you studying at college before… whatever happened.

(Sat 8:49pm) Chemistry, Biology, Maths and Physics.

(Sat 8:52pm) Jeez, they’re pretty heavy subjects.

(Sat 8:53pm) What are you implying?

(Sat 8:55pm) Nothing. Next question, what’s your favourite song?

(Sat 8:57pm)

If you’re talking about chart music, then I don’t have one. I can’t stand it.

(Sat 8:59pm) Yeah, that's fair enough. What do you like?

(Sat 9:02pm) I was only really exposed to classical music. I play the violin, and I am partial to Bach’s Chaconne.

(Sat 9:04pm) So regal, I feel like I should curtsey to my phone screen ;)

(Sat 9:06pm) I forbid the winking.

(Sat 9:08pm) Or what? You’ll aggressively play the violin at me?

(Sat 9:10pm) I’ll do exactly that if it does the job.

(Say 9:11pm) ;)

(Sat 9:13pm) Remind me again why I engage in conversation with you?

(Sat 9:14pm) Because my texts are the highlight of your day and I’m utterly charming? (Sat 9:28pm) Your silence speaks for itself.

~

(Sun 00:45am)

I didn’t reply as I got a little distracted earlier. Mycroft was putting his fat nose in my business again.

(Sun 00:51am) It’s fine.

(Sun 00:53am) Did I wake you up?

(Sun 00:58am) A little.

(Sun 1:01am) Don’t you often text people during the early hours of the morning?

(Sun 1:04am) Occasionally, yeah. It was mainly Katy though. (Sun 1:06am) I don’t sleep too well at night anyway.

(Sun 1:07am) I see.

(Sun 1:10am) Earlier, I wanted to say thanks. I’ve been feeling kinda run down lately because of what happened… (Sun 1:13am) Texting you has helped in a way, it keeps my mind on other things for a while. So thanks for being a really useful, arrogant distraction.

(Sun 1:16am) You’re quite the distraction yourself. (Sun 1:24am) You’re welcome, anyway.

-------------------------------------------------

(Sun 4:10pm) How are things going with John?

(Sun 4:15pm) What is that supposed to mean?

(Sun 4:17pm) You know what it means. Do you still text him?

(Sun 4:19pm) You know I still text him, I saw you looking at my phone again. You really should learn to be more discreet.

(Sun 4:22pm) I’ll work on it. (Sun 4:24pm) Seems like you two get along pretty well for a couple of strangers. Is it weird?

(Sun 4:30pm) Talking to John is not weird. A little exhausting at times, but he’s not completely insufferable.

(Sun 4:33pm) Have you considered meeting him?

(Sun 4:35pm) No.

(Sun 4:37pm) Why not?

(Sun 4:39pm) A better question is, why should I?

(Sun 4:42pm) You both live in London and you’re both mental enough to have built an entire relationship solely through text messages.

(Sun 3:45pm) I’d call it an achievement. So why not meet the guy?

(Sun 4:47pm) You’re forgetting that I have known this ‘stranger’ for no more than two weeks.

(Sun 4:50pm) I thought you liked a bit of danger? At least if he turns out to be a 40 year old virgin it will make for a funny story one day. (Sun 4:52pm) ‘Sherlock Holmes and the time he befriended a paedophile.’ It sells itself!

(Sun 4:54pm) Don’t you have any work you should be doing? You’re the one who’s in college.

(Sun 4:57pm) Hey, it’s fireworks night tomorrow! You can meet up with him at Regents Park. There’ll be lots of people there at least, and you can take your pepper spray just in case ;)

(Sun 4:59pm) No. I don’t plan to leave the house tomorrow evening for a pointless fireworks display. And John would not agree to it.

(Sun 5:02pm) Suit yourself.

-------------------------------------------------

Monday 5th November

(Mon 2:05pm) Are you doing anything tonight?

(Mon 2:12pm) Why?

(Mon 2:14pm) Just wondering. I’m not asking you on a date.

(Mon 2:16pm) No. I’m not going to watch the fireworks tonight.

(Mon 2:20pm) I only really go for the mulled cider. (Mon 2:22pm) And the roasted chestnuts…

(Mon 2:27pm) It all sounds rather tedious for my liking. I also don’t like large crowds, it makes for too much stupid in one place.

(Mon 2:33pm) It’s also a really odd thing to celebrate, don’t you think?

(Mon 2:36pm) What is?

(Mon 2:41pm) Guy Fawkes nearly blowing up the houses of parliament? You know, the whole reason for this night?

(Mon 2:46pm) Oh, is that what happened?

(Mon 2:50pm) You haven’t heard of Guy Fawkes?

(Mon 2:53pm) No, should I have?

(Mon 2:57pm)

We learnt about him in primary school, we made a replica of him to throw in the bonfire... you didn’t do that? Gun powder, treason and plot?

(Mon 3:00pm) If we did I must have deleted it. Although it does all sound pointless to me. What does burning a replica of him achieve?

(Mon 3:05pm) … wait, 'deleted' it?

(Mon 3:07pm) Yes, deleted it. You see my brain is like a hard drive. I only store data that will become useful or important. This Guy Fawkes was obviously neither.

(Mon 3:19pm) Christ, that’s mental. I’m pretty sure brains don’t work that way. (Mon 3:22pm) And it was a major event in English history! How is that not important?

(Mon 3:29pm) Enjoy your evening John. Don’t fall asleep behind any more sofas.

~ (Mon 9:12pm) You’re missing out.

(Mon 9:27pm) I really doubt that.

(Mon 9:34pm) Fireworks in London are always the best :) This is the only decent picture I got: (Mon 9:35pm)

(Mon 9:38pm) Are you at Regents Park?

(Mon 9:42pm) Yep. (Mon 9:45pm) Wait, why? Are you here?

(Mon 9:49pm) Yes.

(Mon 9:53pm) Oh. So you’re amongst this crowd somewhere? One of these heads is yours?

(Mon 9:56pm) No, probably not. I’m not at the centre of it.

(Mon 9:58pm) This is really weird. Why do I suddenly have the feeling that I’m being watched?

(Mon 10:01pm) Don’t flatter yourself, I’m not stalking you. I don't even know what you look like.

(Mon 10:11pm) If you say so. (Mon 10:13pm) What changed your mind about coming?

(Mon 10:18pm) Bored.

(Mon 10:22pm) Have you tried the cider?

(Mon 10:24pm) Yes, actually. I also had a chestnut thrown at my head by a seven year old, so I’m going home.

(Mon 10:27pm) Haha! You poor soul. (Mon 10:45pm) Goodnight!

November 11th Chapter Summary

Tell him I'm in Hawaii, eating a cheesecake the size of Europe.

Chapter Notes

Molly is thrown in the field. c:

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly

Sunday 11th November

(Sun 12:34pm) Bored.

(Sun 12:44pm) And what do you want me to do about it?

(Sun 12:46pm) Make me un-bored.

(Sun 12:47pm) Is that even a word?

(Sun 12:48pm) It is now.

(Sun 12:50pm)

Don’t you have a pet that you can go annoy? A cat? Dog?

(Sun 12:52pm) No, Mother is allergic to the fur.

(Sun 12:56pm) Then make a cup of tea.

(Sun 12:57pm) Tea? Why tea? What will tea achieve?

(Sun 12:58pm) Tea makes everything better.

(Sun 1:00pm) Oh really. I’ve never actually had tea before.

(Sun 1:02pm) Are you kidding? All the more reason to make one! Would you rather be bored, or bored with a nice cup of tea?

(Sun 1:04pm) Seems like there is an obvious answer. (Sun 1:10pm) I just checked the cupboard and we’ve run out.

(Sun 1:12pm) Oh Jesus, no tea left? You really are at a dead end.

(Sun 1:13pm) Borreeeeddddd.

(Sun 1:16pm) Go out and buy some. I demand it. It’s ridiculous for you to have lived this long without experiencing the joys of tea. (Sun 1:20pm) In fact, go to Speedy’s!

In fact, go to Speedy’s!

(Sun 1:22pm) You think I should go to Baker Street, so I can have a cup of tea?

(Sun 1:23pm) Yes. I insist.

(Sun 1:24pm) Why? What’s going on?

(Sun 1:26pm) Nothing, I’m just trying to cure your boredom. (Sun 1:28pm) Go to Speedy’s!

(Sun 1:30pm) Is this some kind of experiment?

(Sun 1:31pm) Yes, exactly, an experiment. (Sun 1:36pm) I’m trying to find out how many cups of tea need to be consumed before the average student suffers from tea poisoning. (Sun 1:40pm) The results will change the lives of tea drinkers around the world.

(Sun 1:42pm) Did you just call me ‘average’? I’ve never been more offended. (Sun 1:43pm) And tea poisoning does not exist.

(Sun 1:45pm) Go to Speedy’s. (Sun 1:46pm) Now.

(Sun 1:50pm) Fine. But I know you’re up to something.

(Sun 1:52pm) :)

--------------------------------------------

(Sun 2:05pm) Please tell me you’re working right now.

(Sun 2:14pm) Yes, I am :)

(Sun 2:17pm) Perfect. Soon, a guy called Sherlock is going to come in. Serve him whatever he likes, free of charge. I’ll give you the money tomorrow.

(Sun 2:22pm) I’m so confused, why am I doing this? And how will I know who Sherlock is? What does he look like?

(Sun 2:23pm) I’ll explain later. And I don’t know what he looks like, I’ve never met him.

(Sun 2:24pm) You’ve… never met him? Who is this guy?

(Sun 2:26pm) It doesn’t matter, he’s male, around age 17-18. Speedy’s isn’t exactly a student hot spot, I think you’ll know who he is.

(Sun 2:37pm) Uh, okay…

(Sun 2:38pm) Thanks! I’ll call you, when’s your next break?

(Sun 2:40pm) 3:15

----------------------------------------------

(Sun 2:58pm) This tea better be the best damn drink I’ve ever had.

(Sun 2:59pm) Haha, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed :)

(Sun 3:00pm) We’ll see.

---------------------------------------------------

Sun 3:16pm ~~Outgoing Call~~

“Hi, John! Wh--”

“How did it go?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Sherlock, what was he like?”

“Oh, he was really… interesting.”

“Interesting? What does that mean?”

“No, I mean… I mean a really good interesting. Like, when he walked in, he had this… I don’t know, presence.”

“A presence?”

“Yeah, I was so drawn to him--”

“And what else?”

“Oh, uhm. He’s quite tall, and he’s wearing a long coat with a scarf. And he has these wild, dark curls and piercing blue/grey eyes and- oh, he’s wonderful, really.”

“Molly, focus. What else happened?”

“Well, he came up to the counter and I asked ‘how can I help you?’ and he said that he’d like a tea. And, oh God, he has this amazing deep voice that--”

“Molly.”

“Sorry, I just… He even gave me a little smile. I might… I don’t know… Maybe I could--”

“Maybe you could what?”

“Give him my number?”

“…”

“John? …John are you there? Do you know if he’s single?”

“Yeah, sorry Molly. He’s single. It went that well huh? He wasn’t rude or anything?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. He made a little remark about my lipstick, but he seems fine. A little intense, though. I felt like he was scrutinising me, you know?”

“You… you think he’s interested in you?”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out, right?”

“…Yeah. Yeah I guess. What’s he doing right now?”

“Just a second, let me check… He’s sat at the window seat, on his phone. It looks like he might be texting someone.”

“Texting… someone—“

“Are you going to tell me who he is yet? And why you’re buying him tea?”

“He’s just a… a… I don’t know, he’s just… he’s a friend, I guess.”

“Ah, okay, you don’t mind do you?”

“Hmm?”

“If I give him my number.”

“Oh. Uhm, no, Molly, go ahead. I just think he may not be looking for something at the moment. I mean, he told me that girlfriends aren’t really his… area.”

“Oh. Oh. You think he’s …gay?”

“No! I mean, I don’t know, he’s never--.”

“Oh crumbs, I have to go John, Mrs H is--”

~~Disconnected~~

-------------------------------------------------------

(Sun 3:20pm) Where are you?

(Sun 3:22pm) Why do you want to know?

(Sun 3:23pm) It’s your brother. He’s wondering where you’ve gone.

(Sun 3:24pm) Oh, for God’s sake.

(Sun 3:26pm) He’s asking through me now because he knows you won’t answer him. (Sun 3:27pm) Seriously, you two act like you’re still five years old.

(Sun 3:28pm) Tell him I’m in Hawaii, eating a cheesecake the size of Europe. That will make him jealous.

(Sun 3:29pm) Unlike you, I’d like to stay on your brother’s good side.

(Sun 3:30pm) He doesn’t have a good side.

(Sun 3:32pm) Would you just tell me where you are? Apparently you have family coming around and he wants you home.

(Sun 3:33pm) It’s none of his business where I am, I’m sick of him nannying me. I’m not a child.

(Sun 3:35pm) Physically, no. But mentally… (Sun 3:37pm) Fine, just tell me where you are. I’m curious.

(Sun 3:37pm) Baker Street.

(Sun 3:38pm) Doing what?

(Sun 3:39pm) Drinking tea.

(Sun 3:41pm) … You went to Baker Street just for a cup of tea?

(Sun 3:43pm) It’s not ‘just’ a cup of tea. It’s my first cup of tea. (Sun 3:44pm) Is that weird?

(Sun 3:45pm) A little, yeah.

(Sun 3:45pm) It was free.

(Sun 3:46pm) How come?

(Sun 3:49pm) I have a strong feeling that John paid for it. The girl at the counter was looking at me like I’d sprouted a third arm. Obviously one of John’s friends.

(Sun 3:50pm) I wish I had a cyber friend that bought me cups of tea. Where can I get one?

(Sun 3:52pm) I believe I got the last one.

(Sun 3:55pm) Can I borrow him?

(Sun 3:55pm) No.

(Sun 3:56pm) Meanie.

(Sun 3:59pm) And you say I’m childish.

-------------------------------------------------

(Sun 4:32pm) So? What was your first ever cup of tea like?

(Sun 4:40pm) It was too milky and not quite strong enough for my liking. However, it was refreshing, and the sugar was adequate. 7/10.

(Sun 4:44pm) Only you would respond with an actual summary. ‘Good’ or ‘horrible’ would have been enough, you know.

(Sun 4:46pm) I answered your question didn’t I?

(Sun 4:47pm) I’m not complaining. Glad you liked it, though.

(Sun 4:49pm) I suppose I should say thank you for paying for it, though it really wasn’t necessary.

(Sun 4:53pm) Well, it’s a bit like buying someone their first pint, isn’t it? I like feeling responsible for this huge change in your life.

(Sun 4:55pm) Indeed, drinking tea has revolutionised the way I live.

(Sun 4:56pm) Don’t mock the power of boiled water combined with flavoured leaves. It’s my hangover cure. ~ (Sun 5:10pm) I’m afraid my parents are forcing me to interact with the people in our house now, and I rather feel like flinging myself out the window.

(Sun 5:12pm) Family meal?

(Sun 5:16pm) More like family insult-Sherlock night.

(Sun 5:18pm) You’ll pull through, talk to you later.

You’ll pull through, talk to you later.

(Sun 5:20pm) If I’m still here.

November 19th Chapter Summary

Thank you. Now piss off.

John : Sherlock : Molly

Monday 19th November

(Mon 12:18pm) I’m eating lunch on my own again, so… question time?

(Mon 12:22pm) Hello, John. I’m afraid Sherlock is not home at the moment.

(Mon 12:27pm) Who is this? Why do you have Sherlock’s phone?

(Mon 12:29pm) I think a better question would be: who are you?

(Mon 12:30pm) … John.

(Mon 12:32pm) I’d gathered that much myself, thank you. How do you know my brother?

(Mon 12:35pm) Wait, this is Mycroft?

(Mon 12:38pm) I see Sherlock has mentioned me.

(Mon 12:40pm) Yeah. Once or twice.

(Mon 12:43pm) Are you going to answer my question?

(Mon 12:45pm) Why don’t you answer mine first? Why do you have Sherlock’s phone?

(Mon 12:47pm) I like to take it upon myself to make sure my baby brother is safe at all times. He seems to attract trouble wherever he goes.

(Mon 12:48pm) That doesn’t really answer my question.

(Mon 12:50pm) I’ve noticed him texting on his phone far more frequently than usual. I find it impolite that he has not introduced me to his new… friend.

(Mon 12:52pm) I haven’t really known him for that long… (Mon 12:53pm) So, you just stole his phone? To invade his privacy?

(Mon 12:54pm) All with good intentions, John. Please, don’t think little of me. I know what’s best for him.

(Mon 12:56pm) How do you think he’d feel about us talking right now?

(Mon 12:58pm) Oh, I’m sure he’d be mortified and would quite possibly throw something at me. He does love to be dramatic. Which is why I’m going to delete these messages when we’re finished.

be dramatic. Which is why I’m going to delete these messages when we’re finished.

(Mon 12:59pm) But I could still tell him about it.

(Mon 1:01pm) You could. Or you could help me.

(Mon 1:02pm) What do you want?

(Mon 1:04pm) For you to ask my brother certain questions that I feed to you, and then for you to report back to me with his answers.

(Mon 1:10pm) … You are kidding, right?

(Mon 1:12pm) And what would give you that impression?

(Mon 1:13pm) You’re flipping mental.

(Mon 1:14pm) I’d be happy to send you a small pay in return.

(Mon 1:16pm) You want to pay me to betray Sherlock’s trust? Why can’t you just ask him yourself?

(Mon 1:18pm) Unfortunately, he has never been willing to open up to me. Though for some reason he appears to have taken a liking to you. If you help me, it would be like allowing me to see into his diary.

(Mon 1:20pm) And why do you want that?

(Mon 1:21pm) I worry about him. Constantly.

(Mon 1:23pm) What’s there to worry about?

(Mon 1:26pm) Oh, John. If only you knew. It seems he hasn’t told you everything.

(Mon 1:27pm) I don’t expect him to. Unlike you, I respect his privacy.

(Mon 1:28pm) The offer stands. You would be an immense help if you were to accept. My number is 0767385129.

(Mon 1:29pm) Thank you. Now piss off.

-------------------------------------------------------

(Tues 12:05pm) John, I have excellent news.

(Tues 12:07pm) And what’s that?

(Tues 12:10pm) I’ve been experimenting. (Tue 12:11pm) With tea.

(Tues 12:12pm) … What?

(Tues 12:13pm) I went out to buy some more tea yesterday, and I’ve been experimenting with it since.

(Tues 12:14pm) Haha! Have you gone insane with boredom?

(Tue 12:15pm) You laugh, but do you know what amount of milk is too much milk, to the exact millilitre, for each 250ml cup?

(Tue 12:16pm) Isn’t that down to preference?

(Tue 12:17pm) Generally, but other people’s opinions are stupid.

(Tue 12:20pm) So this is how you’re spending your day? Making countless cups of tea to test the suitable amounts of milk?

(Tue 12:21pm) Also sugar. (Tue 12:23pm) And how long the bag should be brewed for different kinds of tea. (Tue 12:26pm) Did you know that green tea tastes best when it is brewed at a temperature between 60 and 85 degrees Celsius?

(Tue 12:30pm) Cute.

(Tue 12:31pm) Cute? What’s cute?

(Tue 12:32pm) You sound really excited about it, and it’s all over tea. It’s kind of cute.

(Tue 12:34pm) Oh, God. Maybe cute was the wrong word to use. (Tue 12:38pm) Yep, wrong word. Forget I said it.

(Tue 12:40pm) … It’s okay. (Tue 12:42pm) Though I’m not a puppy.

(Tue 12:43pm) Yeah, I know, sorry. (Tue 12:46pm) I’m going to class.

(Tue 12:47pm) Your next class doesn’t start for another 42 minutes.

(Tue 12:49pm) How do you know that?

(Tue 12:50pm) I don’t know, I notice.

(Tue 12:53pm) Sure.

(Tue 12:54pm) Are you angry?

(Tue 12:55pm) No. Go back to your tea.

-----------------------------------------------

(Wed 6:58pm) I forgot to tell you the other day, your brother spoke to me.

I forgot to tell you the other day, your brother spoke to me.

(Wed 7:12pm) What? How? (Wed 7:13pm) He knows about you? (Wed 7:14pm) The insufferable fat git. Of course he found out. (Wed 7:15pm) Well? Tell me!

(Wed 7:18pm) You make it sound like I’m some huge precious secret.

(Wed 7:19pm) John!

(Wed 7:21pm) He texted me on your phone, then deleted the messages.

(Wed 7:23pm) I’m going to launch everything he owns out of the window and then force feed him every fattening thing I can get my hands on. How dare the smug bastard steal my phone.

(Wed 7:25pm) Yeah, he said you like to be dramatic.

(Wed 7:26pm) What else did he say? Tell me everything! Don’t leave anything out.

(Wed 7:29pm) He asked me who I was and how I knew you, but I never told him how we… came about. Then he offered to pay me to ask you specific questions and then for me to feed back to him with your answers. He described it as looking into your diary.

(Wed 7:31pm) Did you accept?

(Wed 7:32pm) No, of course not.

(Wed 7:33pm) Pity.You could have earned some money and I could have humiliated my brother. Think things through next time.

(Wed 7:35pm) … You are just… full of surprises.

(Wed 7:36pm) Would you rather I was dull? Like your friend who served me at Speedy’s?

(Wed 7:38pm) Molly?

(Wed 7:40pm) Yes. She was so easy to read it was a little embarrassing.

(Wed 7:42pm) I think you’re forgetting that she’s my friend.

(Wed 7:43pm) No, I haven’t forgotten.

(Wed 7:44pm) Did she… give you her number?

(Wed 7:45pm) Why would she do that?

(Wed 7:46pm) I don’t know. I just wondered.

(Wed 7:48pm)

No. She didn’t. (Wed 7:50pm) Me going to Speedy’s wasn’t some kind of set up, was it?

(Wed 7:52pm) No! No, definitely not.

(Wed 7:53pm) Have you and Molly ever… been together?

(Wed 7:55pm) No, we’re good friends. We met at the start of college.

(Wed 7:59pm) Have you heard from Katy?

(Wed 8:03pm) No. I mean, we don’t speak, but I have to see her in college. We have Biology together.

(Wed 8:05pm) What about previous girlfriends? Who were they?

(Wed 8:10pm) Why are you prying into my relationships?

(Wed 8:12pm) Were they all females?

(Wed 8:14pm) Sherlock!

(Wed 8:62pm) I’m merely expressing a curious interest in your past.

(Wed 8:17pm)

Well don’t!

(Wed 8:20pm) I’m sensing this is a tense subject for you. (Wed 8:35pm) John?

---------------------------------------------------------------

(Thurs 6:13pm) John, where are you?

(Thurs 6:22pm) At Mike’s house. Why?

(Thurs 6:24pm) You need to come home.

(Thurs 6:27pm) What? Why? And why are you at my house?

(Thurs 6:30pm) When was the last time you saw Harry?

(Thurs 6:33pm) Yesterday evening, I think. Has something happened?

(Thurs 6:35pm) We don’t know where she is, come home quickly, your mum’s crying and I’m not good with crying people.

(Thurs 6:40pm) Shit. Okay, I’m on my way.

---------------------------------------------------------------

(Thurs 7:15pm) John. Can I ask you something?

(Thurs 7:18pm) Now isn’t a good time.

(Thurs 7:20pm) Oh. Why not?

(Thurs 7:22pm) I said not now.

(Thurs 7:23pm) And I’m asking why?

(Thurs 7:26pm) We don’t know where my sister is and I need to focus on other things right now.

(Thurs 7:30pm) Your sister is missing?

(Thurs 7:32pm) I don’t know Sherlock. Stop texting.

(Thurs 7:33pm) I can help.

(Thurs 7:34pm) No you can’t.

(Thurs 7:35pm)

How little faith you have in me.

(Thurs 7:37pm) How could you possibly know where she is?

(Thurs 7:40pm) Just tell me her last name and what she was doing exactly before she left.

(Thurs 7:42pm) I really don’t feel comfortable with this…

(Thurs 7:43pm) Trust me. (Thurs 7:50pm) John?

(Thurs 7:53pm) Watson. That’s our last name.

(Thurs 7:54pm) And what was she doing when she was last seen?

(Thurs 7:55pm) Arguing with our mum, apparently.

(Thurs 7:56pm) About what?

(Thurs 7:57pm) Uh, something to do with her friend Ingrid.

(Thurs 7:58pm) I need more than that.

(Thurs 8:01pm)

Well it’s kind of hard to ask my mum at the moment! She’s in hysterics, she thinks it’s all her fault.

(Thurs 8:02pm) Well it probably is.

(Thurs 8:03pm) Sherlock, I swear to God.

(Thurs 8:05pm) Fine, I need her facebook password. (Thurs 8:06pm) And stop asking why, it’s wasting time.

(Thurs 8:08pm) I don’t know it.

(Thurs 8:10pm) What is Ingrid’s last name?

(Thurs 8:11pm) Michaels.

(Thurs 8:12pm) And neither of these girls are answering their phones?

(Thurs 8:13pm) No, I don’t think so…

(Thurs 8:15pm) Oh come on, John. It’s really not a giant leap.

(Thurs 8:17pm) Shut up. You’re supposed to be helping.

(Thurs 8:19pm)

Oh, I’ve helped. It took me 6 minutes to guess your sister’s password and I know from her recently sent messages that she and Ingrid are in fact in a relationship.

(Thurs 8:22pm) No. You’re wrong.

(Thurs 8:23pm) I think you’ll find I am right. As usual.

(Thurs 8:26pm) Either way this doesn’t help with finding her!

(Thurs 8:28pm) Open your eyes John! These girls are age 16 and 17 and they think they know everything. It’s obvious they’ve eloped. (Thurs 8:29pm) Or at least tried to.

(Thurs 8:30pm) That is ridiculous. Harry is straight, for starters, and she’s really not that stupid. Where on earth would they go?

(Thurs 8:32pm) Actually, I have access to her messages and I know for certain that she slept round Ingrid’s house last night and is currently at Kings Cross. Judging from where Ingrid’s house is that seems like the most likely place. (Thurs 8:34pm) Since Ingrid obviously lives far away from you, Harry was arguing with your mother about seeing her, and then decided that she didn’t care about your mother’s opinion and took matters into her own hands. Many are rebellious at that age. (Thurs 8:36pm) As for you believing Harry to be straight, I’d say that’s down to you being completely blind and only slightly stupid.

(Thurs 8:40pm) I can’t believe you.

(Thurs 8:42pm) I said only slightly stupid. (Thurs 8:43pm)

Most people should take that as a compliment.

(Thurs 9:02pm) My parents are on their way to Kings Cross. It took some persuading on my part though. (Thurs 9:03pm) If you’re wrong, I swear I’m going to murder you.

(Thurs 9:05pm) Ooh death threats. Aren’t you full of surprises? And I’m not wrong.

(Thurs 9:07pm) You sound awfully sure of yourself.

(Thurs 9:10pm) Most people would see that as a good quality. (Thurs 9:12pm) :)

November 23rd Chapter Summary

Since when have you drunk tea? Since John.

John : Sherlock : Greg

Friday 23rd November

(Fri 1:12am) You were right.

(Fri 1:16am) Of course I was.

(Fri 1:18am) Shut up. (Fri 1:20am) I wanted to say thank you for your help. I appreciate it a lot. And I know my family does too. (Fri 1:22pm) They don’t know, by the way. They think we’re in a class together at college.

(Fri 1:23am) Okay.

(Fri 1:28am) You’re supposed to say you’re welcome.

(Fri 1:30am) You’re welcome, John Watson.

-------------------------------------------------------------

(Fri 7:15pm) Are you busy at the moment?

(Fri 7:17pm) No.

(Fri 7:20pm) Where are you?

(Fri 7:22pm) In my room, avoiding my family. (Fri 7:25pm) You’re not planning a visit are you? (Fri 7:28pm) If you are, don’t forget the petri dishes. (Fri 7:38pm) John? ~ (Fri 7:40pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“… Hello?”

“Hi.”

“… You called me.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“Should I have… asked first? Is this… okay?”

“I prefer to text.”

“Oh, should I hang up? I thought maybe--”

“No, it’s fine.”

“…”

“You sound nervous.”

“Thanks for pointing that out.”

“Does my voice sound how you expected it to?”

“I had no idea what I was expecting, to be honest. This is… really weird.”

“Why?”

“Because… I don’t know. You’re real.”

“What a marvellous observation, John. Did you think I was a robot?”

“No but, Sherlock, don’t you find it strange that I’ve managed to know you for over a month, without actually knowing you?”

“A little, I suppose. But it is the twenty-first century.”

“…”

“…Was there a reason for calling?”

“Yeah. Uh… I didn’t think that thanking you over text was… enough. What you did was really clever and… maybe Harry wouldn’t be home right now if it wasn’t for you and I just wanted to say… thanks for being stubborn. It was… amazing what you did and how you found it out. I owe you one.”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

“I was just… I’m glad your sister is alright.”

“… Yeah. Well, um. I guess I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

“John?”

“Yeah?”

“It was nice to hear your voice.”

“… You too, Sherlock.”

~~Disconnected~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday 24th November

(Sat 11:32am) He called me.

(Sat 11:34am) Who called you?

(Sat 11:35am) Who do you think?

(Sat 11:38am) Prince Phillip?

(Sat 11:40am) John.

(Sat 11:45am) I was close. (Sat 11:47am) Wait, that means you’ve heard his voice!

(Sat 11:48am) Well done Greg, you’ve grasped the concept of a phone call.

(Sat 11:50am) You know, I’m not fond of Sassy Sherlock. (Sat 11:54am) How did it go? Was it awkward?

(Sat 11:56am) It was fine.

(Sat 11:58am) Sherlock, I’ve known you for years, you did not text me to tell me it was ‘fine’.

(Sat 12:02pm) I just did.

(Sat 12:06pm) That’s it, I’m coming over. And we are going to drink hot chocolate and talk about John like a couple of teenage girls and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it.

(Sat 12:07pm) I prefer tea.

(Sat 12:09pm) Since when have you drunk tea?

(Sat 12:12pm) Since John.

(Sat 12:15pm) Oh, we have a lot to talk about.

-------------------------------------------------------

Monday 26th November

(Mon 5:45pm) Would you say that I know you well enough now that I can ask what your last name is?

(Mon 5:50pm) That would lead to the inevitable Google search. I wouldn’t risk it.

(Mon 5:54pm) Are you worried I’ll find your secret blog dedicated to knitting patterns?

(Mon 5:58pm) Knitting is extremely manly.

(Mon 6:03pm) You know my last name, I think it’s only fair if you tell me yours.

(Mon 6:05pm) It’s different, I needed to know your last name to access your sister’s facebook and figure out her email.

(Mon 6:07pm) Don’t you trust me? After everything we’ve been through?

(Mon 6:10pm) Yes, a whole month of sandwich fillings and rogue siblings is enough to create a bond for life.

(Mon 6:12pm) Now you’re just being sassy.

(Mon 6:15pm) Why is everyone calling me sassy lately?

(Mon 6:17pm) You’re obviously an independent black woman at heart.

(Mon 6:19pm) …

(Mon 6:22pm) Tell me your last name!

(Mon 6:24pm)

Fine. It’s Holmes.

(Mon 6:28pm) Holmes. (Mon 6:29pm) Sherlock Holmes. (Mon 6:33pm) You sound like you could be a James Bond villain or something.

(Mon 6:36pm) Is that an insult?

(Mon 6:38pm) No… (Mon 6:39pm) Have you never seen a Bond film?

(Mon 6:40pm) Can’t say I have.

(Mon6:43pm) Oh dear me, Mr Holmes. That needs to be fixed.

(Mon 6:46pm) Is this the part where you announce that you’re a huge fan boy and own every piece of Bond merchandise?

(Mon 6:48pm) Not quite Mr Holmes.

(Mon 6:49pm) Stop calling me Mr Holmes.

(Mon 6:53pm) How about Mr White? (Mon 6:54pm) Auric Goldfinger? (Mon 6:54pm)

Franz Sanchez? (Mon 6:55pm) Raoul Silva?

(Mon 6:57pm) Are you speaking another language?

(Mon 7:00pm) You poor, uncultured soul.

(Mon 7:02pm) I don’t appreciate being patronized.

(Mon 7:04pm) Tell me what you do like then, if it’s not exceptional movies.

(Mon 7:07pm) Experimenting.

(Mon 7:10pm) I got that from the whole tea thing earlier. What else?

(Mon 7:12pm) Forensic science. Books. Annoying Mycroft.

(Mon 7:14pm) Forensic science huh? Is that what you want to go into?

(Mon 7:16pm) I don’t plan to ‘go into’ anything. Though my parents want me to find another college and then go to university and other such dull things.

(Mon 7:18pm) So how will you find work without a-levels or a degree?

(Mon 7:20pm) Murders and crimes have interested me for as long as I can remember, I practically know as much as there is to know already. People will come to me for help.

(Mon 7:22pm) So you’re just going to invent your own job?

(Mon 7:25pm) Precisely.

(Mon 7:25pm) And sit around on your arse, expecting people to give you work because you’re miles smarter than everyone else?

(Mon 7:26pm) Couldn’t have put it better.

(Mon 7:27pm) I can’t decide whether I think you’re mad or brilliant.

(Mon 7:30pm) I like to think they correspond well together.

(Mon 7:33pm) I can’t argue with you.

(Mon 7:35pm) You’d lose anyway.

(Mon 7:39pm) Is that a challenge, Mr Holmes?

(Mon 7:40pm) If you want it to be, I suppose.

(Mon 7:43pm) ;)

(Mon 7:45pm) Oh, God. The return of the winky face.

(Mon 7:48pm) He comes at unexpected moments.

(Mon 7:50pm) Are you sure you’re 18? A legal adult?

(Mon 7:54pm) … That’s a little suggestive, don't you think Mr Holmes?

(Mon 7:57pm) Enough with the Mr Holmes, John. Seriously. I’d so much prefer a Bond villain name.

(Mon 7:59pm) … (Mon 8:00pm) ;)

December 1st Chapter Summary

It's December! Ho ho ho holy shit.

Chapter Notes

ah sorry this one took over a week to upload! School has me exhausted and busy and so I've had my mind on other things... Hope you like the chapter anyway ^.^ and thanks for all the lovely people leaving kudos!

John : Sherlock : Greg

Saturday 1st December

(Sat 1:24am) Remember the day you texted me when Harry ran off?

(Sat 1:26am) Yes, obviously.

(Sat 1:27am) You asked if you could ask me a question, and I said not now.

(Sat 1:28am) Yes.

(Sat 1:29am) What was the question?

(Sat 1:30am)

Do you read through our old texts?

(Sat 1:31am) Sometimes.

(Sat 1:33am) Why?

(Sat 1:34am) Why does it matter? (Sat 1:35am) What were you going to ask me?

(Sat 1:36am) It’s no longer relevant.

(Sat 1:37am) Come on Sherlock.

(Sat 1:37am) No.

(Sat 1:38am) Tell me!

(Sat 1:39am) No.

(Sat 1:40am) Is it embarrassing?

(Sat 1:42am) How could anything I ask you be embarrassing?

(Sat 1:43am)

Don’t know, maybe you were looking for a second opinion on a questionable rash…

(Sat 1:44am) You’re ridiculous.

(Sat 1:45am) But you like me :)

(Sat 1:46am) You’re very sure of this.

(Sat 1:48am) Don’t you?

(Sat 1:48am) What?

(Sat 1:49am) Like me.

(Sat 1:49am) We don’t know each other.

(Sat 1:50am) Really? You still think we’re strangers?

(Sat 1:52am) Yes, technically.

(Sat 1:53am) Well, I think I know you.

(Sat 1:54am) Oh, really.

(Sat 1:54am) Yeah, probably not very well… but we’re friends, right?

(Sat 1:55am) Friends?

(Sat 1:56am) Is that too far?

(Sat 1:57am) Possibly.

(Sat 1:58am) Do friends not text each other at 2am?

(Sat 1:59am) I wouldn’t know.

(Sat 2:01am) What does that mean?

(Sat 2:02am) It doesn’t mean anything.

(Sat 2:04am) Am I the only person you text?

(Sat 2:05am) No.

(Sat 2:06am) You’re good at changing the subject. (Sat 2:07am) … Can’t you just tell me what the question was about? It’s bugging me.

(Sat 2:08am) You’re bugging me.

(Sat 2:09am) Tough.

(Sat 2:11am) You couldn’t force anything out of me if you tried.

(Sat 2:13am) It would be easier if I was there with you.

(Sat 2:15am) … In my bed?

(Sat 2:17am) No, god no I didn’t mean it like that. (Sat 2:18am) You did that on purpose you shit. (Sat 2:19am) Look, I’m tired okay? Not thinking straight.

(Sat 2:20am) You get aggressive when you’re confronted about your sexuality.

(Sat 2:21am) You didn’t confront me! You took something the wrong way! I didn’t mean I wanted to be in bed with you. (Sat 2:21am) Forget it.

(Sat 2:22am) Maybe you should sleep.

(Sat 2:24am) You’re a nightmare sometimes.

(Sat 2:26am) Sleep, or you’ll be tired for your rugby match.

(Sat 2:30am) How the fuck did you know about my match? (Sat 2:32am) Never mind. I don’t want to know. (Sat 2:33am) Night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday 2nd December

(Sun 3:45pm) Have you searched for me on Facebook?

(Sun 3:48pm) Strange way to start a conversation.

(Sun 3:50pm) But have you? Cause you have my full name and everything.

(Sun 3:52pm) You’re forgetting that there’s more than one John Watson in the world.

(Sun 3:53pm) Oh yeah.

(Sun 3:59pm) Would it worry you if I had searched you?

(Sun 4:02pm) Not majorly, I guess.

(Sun 4:04pm) In that case, yes. I searched you. (Sun 4:05pm) And I found you.

(Sun 4:07pm) Jesus.

(Sun 4:08pm) You said you wouldn’t mind.

(Sun 4:10pm) I know. It’s still weird though. (Sun 4:12pm) How did you know which John Watson was me?

(Sun 4:14pm) Location, education, age, friend list includes one Molly Hooper, all it took was some common sense.

(Sun 4:15pm) …

(Sun 4:16pm) I really would consider altering your privacy settings.

(Sun 4:17pm) Fucking hell.

(Sun 4:18pm) Please, John. That’s hardly a sufficient response during a conversation. You may just receive a dictionary from me for Christmas.

(Sun 4:21pm) You stalked me.

(Sun 4:24pm) Hardly. And you would have done the same.

(Sun 4:27pm) But that means you know what I look like.

(Sun 4:30pm) Is that terrifying?

(Sun 4:32pm) It would be less terrifying if you had a facebook as well.

(Sun 4:33pm) So you’ve checked?

(Sun 4:35pm) Maybe.

(Sun 4:37pm) You’re a terrible liar.

(Sun 4:39pm) I wasn’t lying. There is a chance that I possibly maybe might have searched you on the internet.

(Sun 4:42pm) Find anything interesting?

(Sun 4:45pm) I found your website. (Sun 4:46pm) So, no.

(Sun 4:47pm) And you call me a little shit.

(Sun 4:50pm) It’s playful ;)

(Sun 4:52pm) I’ve already told you I’m not a puppy.

(Sun 4:54pm) True, most puppies aren’t obsessed with the varying types of tobacco ash.

(Sun 4:55pm) I’m not obsessed.

(Sun 4:56pm) Your fascinating website speaks for itself.

(Sun 4:58pm) Need I remind you which one of us can reel off the name of every James Bond villain?

(Sun 5:03pm) … (Sun 5:06pm) You win this round.

(Sun 5:07pm) I win every round.

--------------------------------------------------Tuesday 4th December

(Tue 8:19pm) 21 days!

(Tue 8:28pm)

Oh joy.

(Tue 8:30pm) Lighten up! It’s the best time of the year!

(Tue 8:33pm) No, it’s not. It’s Christmas.

(Tue 8:36pm) Were you not hugged as a child?

(Tue 8:39pm) I’m not answering that. And I don’t need a reason to not like Christmas.

(Tue 8:42pm) You must have a reason, people aren’t born with a hatred for the happiest day of the year.

(Tue 8:45pm) Not one I’m willing to share with you.

(Tue 8:47pm) Ouch. (Tue 8:50pm) Does this mean I’m not getting that dictionary you promised?

(Tue 8:53pm) Sorry to get your hopes up, but I’m sure you’ll cope with the other extortionate gifts you’ll receive.

(Tue 8:58pm) Money’s tight actually. We’re going to try for the ‘homemade’ Christmas this year.

(Tue 9:03pm) Oh.

(Tue 9:10pm)

You know, just because I like Christmas, it doesn’t mean I’m expecting a new fancy car or something. There are other things to appreciate.

(Tue 9:13pm) Such as?

(Tue 9:16pm) Family.

(Tue 9:18pm) Dull.

(Tue 9:21pm) Maybe yours is. (Tue 9:23pm) Is that why you don’t like it? Because of your family?

(Tue 9:27pm) I said I don’t want to discuss this.

(Tue 9:30pm) Fine, okay. But there are worse things in life than pretending to get along with your relatives for a day.

(Tue 9:33pm) I know.

----------------------------------------------------

Friday 7th December

(Fri 12:10pm) How are you doing?

(Fri 12:15pm) Fine.

(Fri 12:17pm) No really, are you okay? I can come round if you like.

(Fri 12:20pm) I don’t want you around.

(Fri 12:23pm) All right. (Fri 12:26pm) Just remember I’m happy to talk to you, if you want.

(Fri 12:30pm) Greg, I swear I will hurt you.

(Fri 12:33pm) I’m just trying to be… I don’t know. Supportive.

(Fri 12:36pm) Don’t.

(Fri 12:38pm) You’re so bloody lucky that you actually have someone who’s giving a shit you know. Besides your family. Stop pushing me away and just… say thank you. (Fri 12:39pm) For once.

(Fri 12:43pm) There’s John.

(Fri 12:46pm) Fucking brilliant. Would you rather talk to him about it and not me?

(Fri 12:49pm) There’s nothing to talk about.

There’s nothing to talk about.

(Fri 12:52pm) Great. Just ring me if you need me. (Fri 12:53pm) I know you won’t but, you can.

(Fri 12:54pm) Stop texting.

(Fri 12:56pm) Fine. (Fri 12:56pm) Smile? :)

(Fri 12:57pm) No.

(Fri 12:59pm) Okay.

December 12th Chapter Summary

I'm becoming invested in this.

John : Sherlock : Greg

Wednesday 12th December

(Wed 5:30pm) Guess what I bought at the weekend.

(Wed 5:39pm) A new girlfriend?

(Wed 5:43pm) No… (Wed 5:47pm) They’re kind of expensive anyway.

(Wed 5:49pm) A guide to successful relationships?

(Wed 5:53pm) I’m a little offended. We lasted 10 months you know.

(Wed 5:56pm) Go on then. What did you buy that’s so important?

(Wed 5:59pm)

(Wed 6:02pm) … (Wed 6:03pm) I wasn’t expecting that. (Wed 6:05pm) But I admit it did make me smile.

(Wed 6:07pm) Hypnopompic - Adjective: Of or pertaining to the semiconscious state prior to being awake.

(Wed 6:10pm) You are not like other 18 year olds.

(Wed 6:17pm) Servile - Adjective: Having or showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others.

(Wed 6:19pm) You did this because you thought it would amuse me?

(Wed 6:25pm) True – Adjective: Conforming to reality or fact; not false.

(Wed 6:31pm) Now would be the best time to tell me if you’re actually a middle-aged stalker.

(Wed 6:34pm) Why’s that?

(Wed 6:38pm) I’m becoming invested in this.

(Wed 6:42pm) In this…

(Wed 6:45pm) You.

(Wed 6:48pm) I don’t blame you, I’m irresistible. (Wed 6:50pm) Wait, that’s what wins you over? Dictionaries?

(Wed 6:52pm) No, not dictionaries. (Wed 6:54pm) Idiots who buy dictionaries for the sake of amusing someone they’ve never met and shouldn’t technically care about.

(Wed 6:58pm) I told you I was charming.

(Wed 6:59pm) More proof that you read through our old texts.

(Wed 6:59pm) I could just have an excellent memory.

(Wed 7:00pm) But you don’t, do you.

(Wed 7:00pm) …No.

(Wed 7:02pm) I planned to stop this before it became too significant.

(Wed 7:05pm) Significant - Adjective: Of or pertaining to observations that are unlikely to occur by chance and that therefore indicate a systematic cause; important, of consequence.

(Wed 7:07pm) What if I just stopped replying to your texts?

(Wed 7:09pm) Then I’d be eating a sandwich at 1am with no one to talk to. And a lonely man with a sandwich for company is barely a man at all.

(Wed 7:13pm) Talking to you can be disconcerting at times you know. I’m not sure whether to laugh or light my phone on fire.

(Wed 7:15pm) Would you say you’re… discombobulated?

(Wed 7:17pm) …Maybe the dictionary wasn’t such a great idea after all.

(Wed 7:19pm) Fucking shit buggering arse head and tits.

(Wed 7:22pm) That’s more familiar.

(Wed 7:24pm) :)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Friday 14th December

(Fri 4:12pm) Tell me something interesting.

(Fri 4:15pm) Why?

(Fri 4:18pm)

(Fri 4:22pm) That’s why. I’m freezing my nipples off, so distract me.

(Fri 4:23pm) There are 13 species of otters in the world.

(Fri 4:27pm)

… That’s the best you could think of? Otters?

(Fri 4:30pm) You wanted a distraction.

(Fri 4:33pm) An /interesting/ one. What are you doing right now?

(Fri 4:35pm) You think I’m interesting?

(Fri 4:36pm) You’re more interesting than the snow stuck to my sodding shoes.

(Fri 4:37pm) I’m currently in my kitchen. Greg is here.

(Fri 4:38pm) Is Greg a… boyfriend?

(Fri 4:39pm) No. God no.

(Fri 4:00pm) Then he’s…?

(Fri 4:40pm) A person.

(Fri 4:42pm) No kidding.

(Fri 4:43pm) Well, he could have been a dog.

(Fri 4:44pm) Greg is the worst name for a dog ever. (Fri 4:45pm) Plus you said your mum was allergic to animal hair.

(Fri 4:45pm) Your memory must be improving.

(Fri 4:47pm) I’m guessing Greg is a friend? Not an uncle or neighbour?

(Fri 4:49pm) You could say that.

(Fri 4:50pm) You’re unnecessarily mysterious sometimes.

(Fri 4:52pm) I prefer the term enigmatic.

(Fri 4:54pm) What are you doing in the kitchen?

(Fri 4:55pm) Greg’s drinking coffee while sending me funny looks.

(Fri 4:56pm) Maybe there’s something on your face. (Fri 4:58pm) Or maybe he’s just realised his undying love for you.

(Fri 5:01pm) I don’t like the direction this conversation has taken.

(Fri 5:03pm)

It’s okay, I’m home now.

(Fri 5:05pm) Were you successfully distracted?

(Fri 5:07pm) 8/10. I’d recommend you to my friends.

(Fri 5:10pm) Please don’t.

~

(Fri 7:10pm) Are you going to tell me what earlier was about?

(Fri 7:15pm) What was earlier?

(Fri 7:17pm) When I was round yours? You got a text and you launched at your phone so fast you nearly spilt coffee everywhere.

(Fri 7:18pm) I fail to see how this is an issue that needs to be discussed.

(Fri 7:20pm) How long is this thing with John going to go on for?

(Fri 7:22pm) How could I possibly know that?

(Fri 7:24pm) You ..don’t …know? Sherlock Holmes doesn’t know something? (Fri 7:25pm)

Thank god this has been documented.

(Fri 7:30pm) John could very easily lose interest at any time or get a new girlfriend.

(Fri 7:33pm) Is that what you think you are to him? A replacement for his ex? (Fri 7:34pm) And did you just call yourself his girlfriend?

(Fri 7:35pm) I don’t know. (Fri 7:36pm) And no.

(Fri 7:37pm) …

(Fri 7:39pm) Shut up.

(Fri 7:40pm) I didn’t say anything!

(Fri 7:42pm) You’re thinking. It’s annoying.

(Fri 7:45pm) Do you blame me? Sherlock, you’re acting… I don’t know.

(Fri 7:47pm) The same as always?

(Fri 7:50pm) Like a human being. I’ve never seen you so pleased to have your phone blow up with another guy’s name.

(Fri 7:53pm) This is stupid.

(Fri 7:55pm) No, it’s not. I think it’s great.

(Fri 7:56pm) I think you should keep your nose out of it.

(Fri 7:37pm) … (Fri 7:37pm) All right.

(Fri 7:40pm) You want to tell me to meet him again.

(Fri 7:42pm) Nope, I’m keeping out of it. (Fri 7:45pm) But you totally should meet him. (Fri 7:48pm) Partly just because I want to meet him too.

(Fri 7:50pm) There’s no way you’re going near him.

(Fri 7:53pm) A bit over protective are we?

(Fri 7:56pm) Piss off.

(Fri 7:56pm) I can feel the love.

(Fri 7:58pm) And don’t come round my house unannounced again. I told you I was fine.

(Fri 8:00pm) You also once told me that John was ‘no one’.

(Fri 8:03pm) That was nearly two months ago.

(Fri 8:05pm) …Okay that’s true. Things have changed then?

(Fri 8:07pm) Obviously.

-------------------------------------------------------

Sunday 16th December

(Sun 1:23am) Is it weird that I’m tempted to call you?

(Sun 1:27am) At this time?

(Sun 1:30am) Yeah.

(Sun 1:32am) Might I ask why?

(Sun 1:34am) I don’t know.

(Sun 1:36am) … Good reason.

(Sun 1:40am) ~~Outgoing Call~~ “Sherlock?”

“Morning, John.”

“Your voice is really low.”

“… In pitch?”

“No like, you’re talking really quietly.”

“Well so are you.”

“…”

“Why are you laughing? Have you been drinking?”

“I had a pint or two at the pub. I’m not drunk you idiot.”

“Then why the random phone call at …quarter to two?”

“What can I say, I live a dangerous life.”

“Yes, which is why we’re both mumbling into our phones while in our beds, in fear of being heard.”

“Don’t rain on our beautiful parade.”

“I like rain.”

“You like rain?”

“Don’t repeat things, John.”

“… Rain is like icy cold death that pelts us from the sky. How can you like that?”

“The sound is relaxing.”

“I suppose.”

“…”

“…”

“You really didn’t call for a specific reason did you.”

“Well…”

“Unless you just wanted to listen to me breathe down the phone lines. In which case I should cut all means of communication with you and move to France.”

“There’s a creepy side to all of us.”

“Are you saying--?”

“No, no I… no.”

“…”

“What do I say now?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who called me. Do you think I do this often?”

“All the cool kids do it.”

“…John.”

“I’m kidding. It’s early. I’m tired.”

“If you’re tired then why didn’t you go to sleep?”

“Because I phoned you, obviously.”

“Yes. For reasons still unknown.”

“Oh—I had my reasons okay?”

“And they are…?”

“… I needed to hear a voice. I wanted to speak to someone. About anything.”

“Okay.”

“You can hang up if you want. I know it was stupid--”

“It’s fine. I don’t sleep very much. I find that I stay awake some nights until five o’clock. There are far more important things I could occupy my time doing rather than sleeping.”

“Mhm.”

“I read a lot. About science mostly, and I search crimes online and read about convicts – what they did, what the police missed… the police always seem to miss something.”

“Mm.”

“I’m not sure why people place so much trust in the police. The ones in our area are laughable.”

“…”

“When I was seven I researched a serial killer until three in the morning. It was impossible to sleep. I was so wired up; intent on finding out everything about how he did it, how he avoided being caught… Then Mycroft checked my internet history and found all these graphic pages I'd been on. It was ridiculous. He told mother because he thought there might be something wrong with me. As if someone can't find something interesting without wanting to plan their own murder...”

“…”

“John?”

“…”

“John?”

“…”

“…”

~~Disconnected~~

December 16th Chapter Summary

Bitches love dictionaries.

Chapter Notes

Two updates in one weekend? I'm as shocked as you are.

Sunday 16th December

(Sun 9:18am) I woke up with my phone stuck to my left cheek.

(Sun 9:34am) That’s what you get.

(Sun 9:37am) For…?

(Sun 9:40am) For being an idiot.

(Sun 9:43am) An idiot who you like enough to talk to at 2am.

(Sun 9:47am) It’s not like I was actually going to sleep.

(Sun 9:50am) Right, I forgot. Vampire.

---------------------------------------------------------

Monday 17th December

(Mon 5:18pm) Have you ever knitted a scarf before?

(Mon 5:27pm) Homemade Christmas?

(Mon 5:30pm) Yup.

(Mon 5:34pm) I told you knitting was manly.

(Mon 5:38pm) Now who reads through our old messages?

(Mon 5:40pm) My memory is better than yours.

(Mon 5:44pm) Yeah right. So, my question?

(Mon 5:47pm) Can’t say I’ve so much as gone near a pair of knitting needles.

(Mon 5:49pm) Man, I was hoping to get tips from an expert.

(Mon 5:52pm) How far have you gotten?

(Mon 5:54pm) I’d send you a picture, but it’s too horrific. (Mon 5:56pm) I may have to start over.

(Mon 5:57pm) Why don’t you try something else?

(Mon 5:59pm) It’s for my mum. It was either this or jewellery. And I’m not the creative type.

(Mon 6:02pm) I see. I have to admit, the thought of you knitting is quite hilarious.

(Mon 6:05pm) Just you wait. This will be the manliest sodding scarf in existence. It’ll shoot lasers and drink beer and punch sharks in the face.

(Mon 6:10pm) …I have never had a conversation about a scarf punching a shark in the face before.

(Mon 6:13pm) This is why I make your life better.

(Mon 6:15pm) That is worrying on many levels. (Mon 6:16pm) 8, to be precise.

(Mon 6:18pm) Embrace it.

(Mon 6:20pm) I’d rather embrace the shark.

(Mon 6:22pm) Look out, he’ll be wearing the most fabulous scarf you’ve ever seen.

---------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday 18th December (Tues 8:02pm) So you’ve heard of my Christmas gift fails, how are yours coming along?

(Tues 8:14pm) I leave all the gift buying to Mycroft.

(Tues 8:17pm) How touching.

(Tues 8:20pm) Not a people person, remember?

(Tues 8:23pm) It’s not people, it’s family.

(Tues 8:27pm) They’re both insufferable.

(Tues 8:32pm) You are one charming bastard.

(Tues 8:34pm) I won you over didn’t I?

(Tues 8:37pm) No, I won you over. I bought a dictionary. (Tues 8:38pm) Bitches love dictionaries.

(Tues 8:42pm) You just called me a bitch.

(Tues 8:44pm) Did I? (Tues 8:46pm) I do believe our relationship has been taken to the next level.

(Tues 8:48pm) Relationship?

(Tues 8:50pm) I may have had a few pints.

(Tues 8:52pm) Nothing new there. I’d be careful John, or your drinking may get as bad as your sister’s.

(Tues 8:55pm) I’m not going to ask how you know about Harry drinking too much. I’ll only get creeped out.

(Tues 8:57pm) The internet is a wonderful thing.

(Tues 9:00pm) There. That did it. (Tues 9:02pm) I’m actually laughing. You sound like a paedophile.

(Tues 9:04pm) Vampire, remember?

(Tues 9:06pm) Same thing.

----------------------------------------------

Wednesday 19th December

(Wed 3:20pm) We just got our Christmas tree.

(Wed 3:28pm) Isn’t it a bit late? Christmas is in 5 days.

(Wed 3:30pm) Better late than never. We didn’t even know if we’d be having a tree.

(Wed 3:33pm) …It’s also quite small.

(Wed 3:35pm) Stop hating on our tree!

(Wed 3:36pm) I’m not hating, I’m observing.

(Wed 3:39pm) I have to go to rugby practice.

(Wed 3:42pm) Can I observe that too?

(Wed 3:45pm) …? (Wed 3:48pm) Funny doesn’t suit you, you should stick to ice.

--------------------------------------------------------

Thursday 20th December

(Thurs 12:13pm) How is everything in the Holmes household?

(Thurs 12:15pm) No different to any other day of the year. You don’t need to ask this every day.

(Thurs 12:17pm) I’m just checking, you know. This time of year is tough for you.

(Thurs 12:20pm) You weren’t this annoying last year. (Thurs 12:23pm) Has Mycroft put you up to this?

(Thurs 12:25pm) No.

(Thurs 12:27pm) Lies.

(Thurs 12:30pm) I’d never lie to you Sherlock.

(Thurs 12:32pm) Oh look, more lies.

(Thurs 12:34pm) We both worry about you, all right?

(Thurs 12:36pm) Then you’re both wasting your time.

(Thurs 12:38pm) Speaking of wasting time, how’s John?

(Thurs 12:40pm) John isn’t a waste of time.

(Thurs 12:43pm) Did you ever watch that rugby practice?

(Thurs 12:59pm) … (Thurs 1:00pm) I really despise you sometimes.

(Thurs 1:02pm) You leave your phone in inviting places.

(Thurs 1:04pm) I won’t make that mistake anymore.

(Thurs 1:06pm) You know I’m teasing you. You can flirt with whoever you want.

(Thurs 1:10pm) I. Wasn’t. Flirting.

(Thurs 1:12pm) Oh come on. Rugby shorts? Tackling?

(Thurs 1:15pm) You saw the text. It was a joke.

(Thurs 1:17pm) You don’t make jokes.

(Thurs 1:20pm) Maybe you’re just too brain dead to understand them. John isn’t.

(Thurs 1:23pm) Maybe, but I do know that you get defensive when you’re embarrassed.

(Thurs 1:25pm) I do not.

(Thurs 1:26pm) Do to.

(Thurs 1:27pm) Do not.

(Thurs 1:30pm) You’re just proving my point. (Thurs 1:33pm) You know, it’s not a bad thing.

(Thurs 1:37pm) You said you’d keep your nose out of it.

(Thurs 1:40pm) Another lie.

---------------------------------------------

(Fri 00:56am) Guess what I’m doing right now.

(Fri 00:59am) Eating a sandwich?

(Fri 1:02am) You’re good.

(Fri 1:04am) You’re predictable.

(Fri 1:10am) Christmas is getting closer. You going to tell me why you don’t like it yet?

(Fri 1:12am) I don’t know, are you going to tell me why you’re so intent on finding these things out about me?

(Fri 1:14am) Come on, I’ll even put down my sandwich for you.

(Fri 1:16am) Touching.

(Fri 1:18am) I always am at this hour.

(Fri 1:20am) Touching people?

(Fri 1:25am) …There are several directions I could take this topic. (Fri 1:27am) I’m going to go back to Christmas. (Fri 1:30am) Were you mentally scarred at a young age by a Santa act gone wrong?

(Fri 1:33am) If I tell you, will you fall asleep again?

(Fri 1:35am) I can’t make any promises. (Fri 1:40am) … (Fri 1:45am) Sherlock? (Fri 1:53am) Hello?? (Fri 2:00am) You bastard. (Fri 2:07am) You’re not getting away with this. (Fri 2:10am) Let’s see how easily you sleep with your phone buzzing every minute. (Fri 2:11am) Mwahahahaha (Fri 2:12am) My dark side emerges at this time. (Fri 2:13am) I am the dark knight. (Fri 2:14am) And I have risen. (Fri 2:15am) Again. (Fri 2:16am) I miss my sandwich. (Fri 2:17am) A sandwich wouldn’t do this to me. (Fri 2:18am) And because I know you’re going to ask later, I’m not drunk. (Fri 2:19am) I just like to piss you off. (Fri 2:20am) The name’s Bond. (Fri 2:21am) Ionic Bond. (Fri 2:22am) Get it? I made a science joke.

(Fri 2:23am) You like science, Sherlock. (Fri 2:24am) Science. (Fri 2:25am) Jesus. Okay, you win. But only because I actually think my phone screen is blinding me. (Fri 2:26am) This isn’t over.

December 24th Chapter Summary

I like my men how I like my turkey. Smothered in cranberry sauce.

Chapter Notes

Sorry this one took a while guys! But guess what I got the other day? ... A text from an unknown number. Heuehehuehe I was tempted to keep texting them just to see how they would react, but I didn't. Also, find me on tumblr at pawtal.tumblr.com so we can be friends and talk and stuff. I'm a lonely soul, and you guys are awesome. Come say hello! ^.^

Monday 24th December

(Mon 12:20pm) Merry Christmas eve?

(Mon 12:27pm) Why the question mark?

(Mon 12:30pm) Because it might not be a merry Christmas eve where you are.

(Mon 12:34pm) You’re very thoughtful for someone who texted me 23 times in under an hour the other night.

(Mon 12:40pm) Ah, but I’m not the one who counted. (Mon 12:44pm) You make me sound like a clingy girlfriend. (Mon 12:44pm) And what was I supposed to do? You fell asleep.

(Mon 12:45pm) No I didn’t.

(Mon 12:45pm) Bastard.

(Mon 12:47pm) Pay back.

(Mon 12:49pm) For when I fell asleep?

(Mon 12:50pm) Your intelligence is astounding at this time of day.

(Mon 12:54pm) Is this how you show affection? By insulting people?

(Mon 12:55pm) I don’t show affection.

(Mon 12:59pm) I guess I’m an exception then.

~

(Mon 2:05pm) This is eating me alive.

(Mon 2:08pm) The shark?

(Mon 2:10pm)

No, not understanding you.

(Mon 2:13pm) And…?

(Mon 2:15pm) I want you to be able to tell me things. Like why you don’t like Christmas. (Mon 2:18pm) It’s been on my mind all day.

(Mon 2:20pm) You make yourself sound like a clingy girlfriend without my help.

(Mon 2:23pm) Seriously Sherlock, I want to know. (Mon 2:25pm) Are you busy? Can you go to Speedy’s?

(Mon 2:26pm) Yes.

(Mon 2:27pm) Okay.

(Mon 2:30pm) Now?

(Mon 2:32pm) Yes.

~

(Mon 3:05pm) What is this?

(Mon 3:06pm) A tea, I’m assuming. Unless you were in the mood for a flaming sambuca.

(Mon 3:07pm) I mean the thing that came with the tea.

(Mon 3:10pm) An early Christmas present?

(Mon 3:11pm) I see why you had to start over.

(Mon 3:12pm) The other one came out much better, trust me.

(Mon 3:13pm) I should hope so.

(Mon 3:14pm) It’s the thought that counts anyway.

(Mon 3:15pm) Seems more like a bribe to be honest. A pretty poor one.

(Mon 3:15pm) Poor? More like charming. Did it work?

(Mon 3:18pm) Yes. Just. But only because it’s so ridiculous it made me laugh. (Mon 3:20pm) Mother had an aunt named Eliza. The only member of our wretched family who I didn’t despise. She was honest, intelligent and the only one who didn’t treat me like a child. She studied forensic science and went on to become extremely respectable amongst the police force. (Mon 3:23pm) Though I was very young, she always invited me to help her with investigations and experiments. We shared a love for murders and crime that no one else could comprehend. (Mon 3:26pm) I’d stay in the lab with her for hours on end after school, watching everything unfold. It made me

immensely proud to see others consulting her, needing her approval before anything went ahead. She was the best they had. (Mon 3:33pm) It was 10 years ago. I had refused to buy Mother a Christmas present because she told me I couldn’t go to the lab anymore. So on Christmas Eve my Aunt Eliza took me out to try and convince me. Pointless, really. Not even she could change my mind. We were walking down Great Portland Street when she was shot. (Mon 3:36pm) Now I know how you’re going to react, but like I said, it was 10 years ago.

(Mon 3:49pm) I don’t know what to say. (Mon 3:53pm) No, I mean, I know what I want to say, I just don’t know how to say it.

(Mon 3:54pm) You’ve always had an eloquent way with words.

(Mon 3:56pm) Christ. (Mon 3:58pm) I want to say that I’m here for you, but I’m not. (Mon 4:00pm) No, I mean, I want to be here for you, but I can’t be. (Mon 4:02pm) Not physically. Not properly.

(Mon 4:05pm) John, I’m fine.

(Mon 4:08pm) And I’d tell you that I’m sorry but what good does that do?

(Mon 4:10pm) I do love the way you think, sometimes. (Mon 4:11pm) I was afraid you’d turn into a slightly less annoying version of Greg.

(Mon 4:12pm) Okay, then. I’ll only ask once. (Mon 4:13pm) Is there anything you need?

(Mon 4:14pm) No.

(Mon 4:17pm) You’re not upset?

(Mon 4:19pm) I don’t get sad. I get angry.

(Mon 4:20pm) And you’re not mad that I insisted you told me on the day that turned out to be the anniversary? Which I am really sorry for, by the way.

(Mon 4:22pm) No.

(Mon 4:25pm) I’ll continue to feel like shit anyway. If I’d known what it was, I wouldn’t have bugged you about it so much.

(Mon 4:27pm) It’s Christmas Eve, not Sherlock Has A Dead Aunt Day. Don’t let it spoil your holiday.

(Mon 4:30pm) Thanks for telling me.

~

(Mon 5:03pm) Where are you?

(Mon 5:05pm) Home, unfortunately. (Mon 5:06pm)

Why?

(Mon 5:08pm) No reason.

----------------------------------------

Tuesday 25th December

(Tues 9:43am) Merry Christmas, John.

(Tues 10:33am) Merry Christmas, Sherlock.

Thursday 27th December

(Thurs 00:12am) I love the aftermath of Christmas.

(Thurs 00:15am) And why’s that?

(Thurs 00:17am) I’m currently holding the most glorious turkey sandwich to ever grace my kitchen.

(Thurs 00:19am) Don’t your parents ever wonder why you’re up and making sandwiches at this time?

(Thurs 00:21am) Nope, I’m like a hobbit. I can pass by making practically no sound.

(Thurs 00:25am)

(Thurs 00:25am) So they just wake up to find half the food in the fridge missing?

(Thurs 00:26am) Half the food? Do I really look that fat in my profile picture?

(Thurs 00:28am) No. You look… good.

(Thurs 00:30am) I think you’ll have to give me and this sandwich some privacy now.

(Thurs 00:32am) You’re choosing a sandwich over me?

(Thurs 00:35am) I’m sorry, but are you currently smothered in cranberry sauce?

(Thurs 00:36am) …

(Thurs 00:38am) I didn’t think so.

Tuesday 1st January

(Thurs 00:33am) ~~Outgoing Call~~ “You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. I’m obviously in the middle of something more important than whatever you have to say, so leave a message, but only if it’s not mind-numbingly dull. And if this is Mycroft, yes, it was me who hid the cake tin. No, I won’t tell you where it is.” “Pick up your phone you pillock! I wanted to wish you a happy New Year, and tell you that you are… an amazing person. And I know you’re amazing without even having met you. Fucking mental. How does that work? I don’t even know what you look like. Ha! All Molly told me is that you have a sexy voice… no, did she say sexy? I don’t remember. But you deserve some love. Everyone deserves love in this world, right? Love and… and peace. Christ. I sound like John Lennon. And don’t fucking tell me you don’t know who that is! Guy Fawkes was bad enough.

Anyway... What was I saying? Love! Shit, you wanna know what I think? I think… you really need someone. You know? Someone. Like when I had Katy. God, she was such a bitch though. You deserve better than Katy… don’t go out with Katy. She'll fucking screw you over like she did with me. ‘Cause, you might be a dick sometimes, but texting you is like the best part of my day and-- no, wait Mike-- I’m not--”

~~Disconnected~~

~

(Thurs 11:12am) Happy New Year.

(Thurs 11:17am) No.

(Thurs 11:19am) Is everything all right?

(Thurs 11:22am) It feels like I’ve been kicked in the head by a house. (Thurs 11:23am) *Hours (Thurs 11:24am) *Horse oh my god.

(Thurs 11:24am) An impressive simile for someone who had a few too many drinks last night.

(Thurs 11:28am) A few? My text alert sounds like a fucking bullhorn.

(Thurs 11:30am) You left me an interesting voice mail.

(Thurs 11:32am) Oh shit.

Oh shit. (Thurs 11:33am) What did I say?

(Thurs 11:35am) Nothing much.

(Thurs 11:37qm) Just tell me so I can regret it properly for the rest of my life.

(Thurs 11:40am) You just rambled for a bit about unimportant things. John Lennon was mentioned.

(Thurs 11:43am) Ok. I can live with that. I've had worse.

(Thurs 11:45am) Oh?

(Thurs 11:48am) I drunk-called Katy once. Accidentally let slip that I bailed on our date to play video games at Mike’s house. It took two weeks and 13 boxes of chocolates for her to forgive me.

(Thurs 11:50am) Sounds like your relationship with Katy wasn’t too stable.

(Thurs 11:56am) Looking back on it, I suppose not. But isn’t that the point? I now know to avoid dating anyone who has a mild obsession with Furbys.

(Thurs 12:02pm) I just Googled Furbys and I’m surprised you haven’t been traumatised.

(Thurs 12:06pm) She also genuinely enjoyed watching the Jeremy Kyle show. Which I think was probably the warning sign.

(Thurs 12:09pm) I’ve never seen that.

(Thurs 12:12pm) You want to keep it that way.

(Thurs 12:14pm) Don’t tell me what I want.

(Thurs 12:17pm) Are we going to do this now?

(Thurs 12:20pm) What?

(Thurs 12:23pm) This flirting.

(Thurs 12:27pm) I think you may still be drunk.

(Thurs 12:30pm) I wasn’t that bad!

(Thurs 12:33pm) You sounded pretty far gone.

(Thurs 12:35pm) It doesn’t matter. I was kidding. (Thurs 12:36pm) About the flirting.

(Thurs 12:37pm) You should be clearer next time.

(Thurs 12:40pm) You’re the smart one.

(Thurs 12:44pm) And you’re hung over.

(Thurs 12:46pm) Truer words have not been spoken.

(Thurs 12:50pm) I’ll leave you to recover.

(Thurs 12:54pm) Cheers.

January 2nd Chapter Summary

I like you. And the snarky, annoying bits that come with you.

Chapter Notes

I may fail my geography test tomorrow, but hey, at least I was productive about *something* this evening. Yay for early updates ^.^ I had to Google watermelons for this chapter. Appreciate that that is sitting in my history. I wanted to say a huge thanks to anyone who followed me on tumblr/sent me a lovely message. They completely made my day. I also hit 200 comments recently. What is that about? You guys are far too nice to me. Special thanks to Katzedecimal. Without whom I wouldn't have my reason to spontaneously smile during my classes at school; thanks for all the questioning looks I got for that. (Worth it though) Okay, onwards...

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly

Wednesday 2nd January

(Wed 4:30pm) How were the relatives this year?

(Wed 4:37pm) The same as every year. Unbearable.

(Wed 4:40pm) I would have come round and said hello, but I had things to do, people to see.

(Wed 4:42pm) Liar, you hate them as much as I do.

(Wed 4:46pm) … Yeah ok. At least that’s something we can bond over. (Wed 4:47pm) And I don’t hate all of your family, just the ones who treat you badly.

(Wed 4:50pm) So, all of them?

(Wed 4:53pm) Come on, Mycroft isn’t as bad as your Father.

(Wed 4:54pm) Don’t even mention him.

(Wed 4:56pm) Things are bad then?

(Wed 4:57pm) Things are always bad.

(Wed 5:00pm) Always the ray of sunshine, you are.

(Wed 5:04pm) And you wonder why I don’t like telling you things.

(Wed 5:08pm) Right, sorry. Where is he now? Moved out yet?

(Wed 5:13pm) No, unfortunately. I expect it’ll happen soon though.

(Wed 5:17pm) I’m sorry to hear that.

(Wed 5:22pm) Don’t be. I can’t wait for this to be over. The atmosphere between him and Mother is agonising. I want to tear my hair out when I’m forced to be around them.

(Wed 5:34pm) You could stop at my place for a while if you like? I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind. (Wed 5:35pm) As long as there are no funky experiments in the kitchen.

(Wed 5:37pm) That’s not possible.

(Wed 5:40pm) Even just one night away would do some good right?

(Wed 5:41pm) I can’t.

(Wed 5:44pm) Look, if this is about what I think, then it would be good for you to be away from it for a while. I could help.

(Wed 5:46pm) I don’t want help, I know what I’m doing.

(Wed 5:48pm) I really don’t think you do.

(Wed 5:50pm) For God’s sake, you sound like Mycroft.

(Wed 5:55pm) You know what you’re doing is dangerous.

(Wed 5:56pm) I live a dangerous life.

(Wed 5:59pm) …?

(Wed 6:02pm) It’s… something John said. Ignore it.

(Wed 6:04pm) Does John know?

(Wed 6:07pm) Of course not.

(Wed 6:13pm) Okay. I have to go now. Just think about it yeah? If you’re worried about Rocky I can make sure he sleeps in a different room to you ;)

(Wed 6:15pm) I’m not scared of your stupid dog.

(Wed 6:17pm) He’s not stupid! Just because he mistook your leg for his girlfriend.

(Wed 6:18pm) Let’s not revisit that. It was almost as awkward as Mycroft’s attempt at a moustache.

(Wed 6:20pm) I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on your face.

----------------------------------------------

Thursday 3rd January

(Thurs 8:15pm) I want to talk to you, but I’m not sure how to start the conversation.

(Thurs 8:23pm) You just started it.

(Thurs 8:26pm) Now what do I say?

(Thurs 8:29pm) I’m probably the last person you want to receive social tips from.

(Thurs 8:33pm) You could give me tips on farming watermelons right now and I wouldn’t care. I just need to think about something other than my exams.

(Thurs 8:39pm) Watermelons grow best in soil that has a pH between 6.0 and 6.8.

(Thurs 8:43pm) You really didn’t have to Google that.

(Thurs 8:45pm) Have you ever had a watermelon sandwich?

(Thurs 8:48pm) … That sounds soggy. (Thurs 8:50pm) What’s gotten into you?

(Thurs 8:54pm) I’m just giving you your distraction.

(Thurs 8:58pm) I don’t just text you to distract myself, Sherlock. (Thurs 9:04pm) I like you. And the snarky, annoying bits that come with you.

~

(Thurs 11:17pm) I don’t know why.

(Thurs 11:23pm) Neither do I, funnily enough.

-----------------------------------------------

Friday 4th January

(Fri 4:09pm) Hey, do you want to have another revision session at mine? 5:00?

(Fri 4:13pm) Yeah, sounds good.

(Fri 4:14pm) Maybe you could invite that Sherlock guy as well? :)

(Fri 4:16pm) Oh. Well, Sherlock doesn’t really live around here.

(Fri 4:18pm) Oh… where does he live?

(Fri 4:22pm) I don’t know.

(Fri 4:24pm) … I thought you two were friends? I was hoping to find out more about him. When I asked you in Chem a while back you didn’t really answer. (Fri 4:26pm) Sorry if that sounds rude! I’m just curious.

(Fri 4:30pm) Yeah, we’re friends.

(Fri 4:33pm) Did you ever find out if he was… you know. Gay?

(Fri 4:35pm) No.

(Fri 4:37pm) Am I bothering you? I’m so sorry John, I’m not really thinking.

(Fri 4:40pm) It’s fine Molly, I’m on my way. Get the kettle ready, I have a long night ahead of me.

(Fri 4:42pm) Will do :)

~

(Fri 11:14pm) I’m drowning in textbooks. (Fri 11:17pm) Send help.

(Fri 11:19pm) You can’t drown in textbooks, they’d crush you instead.

(Fri 11:22pm) Fine then. I’m typing this from under a mountain of science books that are currently fracturing every fibre of my being. (Fri 11:23pm) Better?

(Fri 11:25pm) Are you by chance a little stressed about the upcoming exams?

(Fri 11:26pm) A little. (Fri 11:29pm) To make it worse, Molly has fallen asleep. And I’m in her house.

(Fri 11:32pm) And this is a problem because?

(Fri 11:34pm) This is a major crisis because her family is also asleep and I’m conflicted between maintaining my gentlemanly status and making my infamous late night sandwich.

(Fri 11:36pm) Oh John. Your problems are so feeble. It’d almost be laughable, if it didn’t make me slightly irritated.

(Fri 11:40pm) There. Did you hear that? The sound of my stomach growling loud enough to wake up next door’s goldfish.

(Fri 11:43pm) Fish do not sleep.

(Fri 11:45pm) Are you serious? They don’t? (Fri 11:45pm)

Holy shit. Fish are so hardcore.

(Fri 11:46pm) Just go home.

(Fri 11:48pm) I don’t have a ride, and I’m not waking Molly.

(Fri 11:50pm) There are these things attached to the end of your legs called feet. Funny looking things, usually smell bad, used for walking places.

(Fri 11:52pm) Never heard of them.

(Fri 11:54pm) Now you’re just messing with me.

(Fri 11:55pm) Me? You’re the one suggesting that I walk around London at midnight and risk having my face mauled by an angry gang man. (Fri 11:59pm) What if I run into a group of menacing fish? They don’t sleep you know. (Sat 00:01am) A death metal band of fish. (Sat 00:02am) Fuck, now I’m trying not to wake Molly cause I’m laughing.

(Sat 00:03am) Laughing at your own jokes. Adorable.

(Sat 00:05am) It’s how I deal with tough situations.

(Sat 00:07am) I don’t know what you’re worried about, I walk around London all the time when it’s late.

(Sat 00:10am) Why?

(Sat 00:12am) It’s eerily still and quiet, and the darkness is comforting. It gives me perfect time to think.

(Sat 00:14am) While I don’t doubt that, I think I’ll settle for sleeping on Molly’s sofa tonight.

(Sat 00:18am) Goodnight.

(Sat 00:20am) Night.

---------------------------------------------

Sunday 6th January

(Sun 12:30pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“… What can I do for you?”

“I just, decided to call you.”

“Why?”

“I’m on a break. And I didn’t have any… so I… I don’t know.”

“A break from what? It’s Sunday.”

“I got a job.”

“Unsurprising.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I find that unsurprising, obviously.”

“I don’t like the way you think you know so much about me.”

“You’re the one who keeps insisting that we’re friends. Do friends not figure these things out?”

“But what could you possibly find out from just text messages?”

“You underestimate me, John Watson.”

“Enlighten me then. If you know my life better than I do, why is it so unsurprising that I got a job?”

“You’re going through family financial trouble, of course you looked for a job. Homemade Christmas? Does it really need to be said? Plus the fact that you always seem to go for the cheaper sandwich option rather than a hot meal during college lunch times, which more often than not you spend alone because you hate to miss out on any study time. You know that medical school will be expensive. Too expensive. Your evening meals don’t fill you up because the portions are getting gradually smaller, most likely to do with one of your parents recently losing their job, ultimately consequencing in the infamous 1am sandwich. I could go on, but from experience I know that this is usually the moment when one contemplates throwing the closest object at my head.”

“…”

“…”

“That was, kind of… amazing. In a really disconcerting way.”

“… You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“… I don’t understand. You’re not mad?”

“God yes, I’m mad. I’m just reining it in. I’m slowly putting down the napkin dispenser.”

“Napkin dispenser?”

“Er, it’s the closest throwable object.”

“So you’re working in some kind of kitchen.”

“It’s, um, a café. Costa, to be exact. I serve drinks and heat paninis and… stuff.”

“Sounds fulfilling.”

“Hey, at least it’s money.”

“So when are--”

“Oh shit. Shit. Shit.”

“What?”

“My friends are… They’re… I have to go.”

“Why? Don’t tell me you’re actually embarrass--?”

~~Disconnected~~

January 7th Chapter Summary

I'm stood in my room in my underwear and I don't have all day.

Chapter Notes

I'm so happy that you guys can finally read the first plotbunnies that Katzedecimal has been awesome enough to have been writing. You should all go read the first couple of chapters because if you're following this story, you might as well follow hers and get a look at what is happening when the boys aren't texting each other. Nothing would make me happier than to see those plotbunnies get some love. Her inspired work, A Slip of the Finger, has been previewed, and I hereby approve this message. Thank you ^.^

John : Sherlock : Greg

Monday 7th January

(Mon 6:05pm) Get me out of here.

(Mon 6:10pm) I thought that wasn’t possible?

(Mon 6:12pm) I don’t care anymore.

(Mon 6:15pm) Alright. I’ll go look for that extra pillow.

~

(Mon 10:46pm) Sorry about yesterday. (Mon 10:59pm) I didn’t mean to end the conversation like that. (Mon 11:08pm) I would have talked for longer. (Mon 11:15pm) Hell, I could probably talk to you all day. (Mon 11:30pm) Sherlock?

(Mon 11:32pm) Yes?

(Mon 11:35pm) Are you mad at me?

(Mon 11:39pm) No, I’m not mad. A little disappointed.

(Mon 11:40pm) About what?

(Mon 11:45pm) You caring so much about what other people think.

(Mon 11:47pm) Fine, I didn’t tell my friends that I got a job.

(Mon 11:50pm) Are these the same friends who stole your phone and texted me in the middle of the night?

(Mon 11:53pm) Jesus that feels like so long ago. (Mon 11:55pm) And maybe.

(Mon 11:58pm) If you’re so ashamed of what these people think, then I’d consider surrounding yourself with a more intelligible crowd.

(Tues 00:02am) I’m not ashamed! And it’s not that easy to just make new friends. I can’t conjure them out of nowhere.

(Tues 00:05am) Like you did with me?

(Tues 00:07am) I suppose. (Mon 00:10am) You were definitely unexpected.

(Tues 00:14am) I don’t understand the need to have friends anyway. They’d just get in the way and ask too many pointless questions.

(Tues 00:16am) Well, I’ve been friends with Mike since I was 7. Sometimes it’s good to have someone like that.

(Tues 00:19am) Someone like what?

(Tues 00:22am) Someone you can talk to.

(Tues 00:26am) Does that make you my ‘someone’?

(Tues 00:33am) You make it sound more romantic than it is.

(Tues 00:34am) You brought it up.

(Tues 00:37am) Lets not argue over who sounds more romantically interested in the other.

(Tues 00:40am) It would be good entertainment.

(Tues 00:42am) Bored again? Or are you walking around London like a creature of the night?

(Tues 00:44am) Yes. And no. I’m at Greg’s house, on Greg’s sofa.

(Tues 00:46am) You’re having a sleepover at Greg’s?

(Tues 00:48am) Don’t say it like that.

(Tues 00:50am) What?

(Tues 00:51am) A ‘sleepover’.

(Tues 00:53am) You’re sleeping round Greg’s. Therefore you and Greg are having a sleepover.

(Tues 00:55am) I’m not a pre-pubescent girl. We’re not even in the same room.

(Tues 00:56am) Put a movie on, get some popcorn, talk about the charming guy who lives in your phone :)

(Tues 00:58am) Don’t mock me.

(Tues 1:03am) How else should I pass the time?

(Tues 1:05am) What happened to your other best friend? The late night sandwich?

(Tues 1:07am) He called me a little bitch. (Tues 1:08am) We’re no longer on speaking terms.

(Tues 1:13am) I don’t know how to respond to that.

(Tues 1:15am) I feel kind of self-conscious about my 1am sandwiches now that you know the reasons for them.

(Tues 1:16am) Only you would feel self-conscious over a sandwich.

(Tues 1:18am) I better sign off, I’m supposed to have rugby practise at 9:00 and at this rate I’ll be playing in my sleep.

(Tues 1:20am) Then why stay up so late?

(Tues 1:27am) Reasons.

--------------------------------------------

Thursday 10th January

(Thurs 7:10pm) Do you really have things thrown at you?

(Thurs 7:18pm) You’re going to have to elaborate.

(Thurs 7:20pm) When you said all those things about me on the phone, you said that from experience you know that people usually want to throw something at you.

(Thurs 7:21pm) Yes well, people are stupid.

(Thurs 7:22pm) … Elaborate?

(Thurs 7:24pm) They think it’s my fault that their life stories are so clearly mapped out, written in the way they hold themselves, the way they look at certain people, they make it so obvious.

(Thurs 7:26pm) You can guess all those things from such tiny details?

(Thurs 7:26pm) I don’t guess. I deduce through observation.

(Thurs 7:30pm) And then people get angry?

(Thurs 7:33pm) I have had the odd tv remote or ashtray launched in my direction. As if it’s actually my fault that their wife walked out on them. Ridiculous.

(Thurs 7:40pm) You may be the most interesting person I’ve ever met.

(Thurs 7:49pm) We haven’t met.

(Thurs 7:59pm) A minor detail.

(Thurs 8:04pm) There are no minor details.

------------------------------------------

Saturday 12th January

(Sat 3:45pm) I need your opinion. White shirt with black jeans, or navy shirt with grey jeans?

(Sat 3:57pm) I’m not your personal style guru.

(Sat 4:02pm) I always figured you’d be the type to dress fabulously. You know, long billowing coat, sassy lopsided scarf.

(Sat 4:05pm) Wrong. (Sat 4:06pm) I’d never wear your scarf in public.

(Sat 4:10pm) Blood, sweat and tears went into that! But you’d totally be a closet style diva. (Sat 4:12pm)

Like Gok Wan.

(Sat 4:15pm) What’s a Gok Wan?

(Sat 4:17pm) Never mind. I’m stood in my room in my underwear and I don’t have all day.

(Sat 4:18pm) You probably could have phrased that better.

(Sat 4:19pm) Just pick one.

(Sat 4:20pm) Does it really matter? If you’re going out for a meal with family it’s not like you’re trying to impress anyone.

(Sat 4:26pm) Actually, I have a date. Ella from Biology class. 62 inches. Likes horses. Dislikes Furbys. (I checked)

(Sat 4:30pm) I see.

(Sat 4:32pm) I’ll go with the white shirt and wear a black tie.

(Sat 4:34pm) You know, this isn’t your diary. These texts are being sent to an actual person who’s doing actual things.

(Sat 4:36pm) Sorry, I’m a little nervous.

(Sat 4:40pm) So you should be. You’re taking out a horse girl.

(Sat 4:41pm) Horse girl?

(Sat 4:44pm) You’ll see.

(Sat 4:45pm) Now I’m really nervous.

(Sat 4:47pm) What is it then, dinner? A movie? God forbid, both?

(Sat 4:49pm) Dinner.

(Sat 4:52pm) Do you like her?

(Sat 4:54pm) That’s what I’m going to find out.

(Sat 4:58pm) Don’t wear the tie.

(Sat 5:02pm) Why not?

(Sat 5:04pm) You’re obviously not taking her somewhere too fancy. You can’t. The tie will only draw attention to the fact that you’re trying too hard. If you want to impress Horse Girl, look smart casual, not over eager to get into her pants.

(Sat 5:07pm) She has a name. (Sat 5:08pm) And what do you know about dating?

(Sat 5:10pm) Nothing. But I know a lot about people.

(Sat 5:12pm) Alright, I took off the tie. Anything else?

(Sat 5:14pm) Order something extremely messy. I’d recommend the ribs.

(Sat 5:16pm) Why does this sound more like sabotage than advice?

(Sat 5:19pm) You honestly think I can provide you with sound advice on relationships?

(Sat 5:24pm) Have you never had a girlfriend? (Sat 5:24pm) Or boyfriend.

(Sat 5:30pm) I told you it wasn’t my area.

(Sat 5:32pm) That’s not really an answer though.

(Sat 5:35pm) I think you’ll find it is.

~

(Sat 6:58pm) I may or may not have accidentally ordered the ribs. (Sat 6:59pm) You suddenly sprang to mind when the waiter asked and now… I regret it already.

(Sat 7:01pm) You’re on a date. Why are you texting me?

(Sat 7:02pm) Ella’s gone to the restroom.

(Sat 7:03pm) And that makes this perfectly normal?

(Sat 7:05pm) Right, yeah. Priorities.

(Sat 7:05pm) I think I already know your priorities.

(Sat 7:06pm) Are you jealous?

(Sat 7:07pm) Not even slightly. Especially since I find your taste in females questionable, considering Katy.

(Sat 7:08pm) That’s not what I meant but… Ella’s coming back.

(Sat 7:08pm) Priorities.

~

(Sun 00:02am) How did the date go?

(Sun 00:09am) It went well. It was good.

(Sun 00:10am) No it wasn’t.

(Sun 00:12am) Did you text me just to make me feel bad?

(Sun 00:13am) I’m curious. It’s not my fault the date was disappointing.

(Sun 00:15am) How do you know it was disappointing?

(Sun 00:16am) If you were really enjoying yourself, you’d be focused on the girl you were looking to bed, rather than thinking about texting me. (Sun 00:17am) And then actually texting me.

(Sun 00:18am) Wait a second, bed? I didn’t want to ‘bed’ Ella. It wasn’t like a Wine, Dine and 69.

(Sun 00:18am) 69?

(Sun 00:20am) Google it. (Sun 00:21am) Actually, don’t.

(Sun 00:23am) Those weren’t your incentives? Then what was the purpose of the whole evening?

Those weren’t your incentives? Then what was the purpose of the whole evening?

(Sun 00:24am) …You’re joking right? To have fun. Meet someone new. Get over my ex. Distract myself from college work.

(Sun 00:25am) I thought I was your distraction.

(Sun 00:30am) You are. But you’re also my friend. (Sun 00:32am) Which is why I texted you to tell you I ordered the ribs. Obviously.

(Sun 00:35am) Well the ribs didn’t win her over, so what happened?

(Sun 00:37am) She talked about horses. (Sun 00:39am) A lot. (Sun 00:42am) And showed me pictures.

(Sun 00:44am) A lot of pictures?

(Sun 00:44am) So many pictures.

(Sun 00:45am) I warned you.

(Sun 00:47am) I never want to see another horse in my life.

(Sun 00:52am)

(Sun 00:53am) NO

(Sun 00:58am)

(Sun 1:02am) I’m going to have nightmares.

(Sun 1:07am)

(Sun 1:09am) That’s it. I’m going to sleep.

(Sun 1:12am) Boring.

(Sun 1:15am) That’s what you get.

January 12th Chapter Summary

The bloodied victim to my mentally deranged psychopath.

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly

Monday 12th January

(Mon 8:12pm) You never told me what you did that got you kicked out of college.

(Mon 8:20pm) I can see where this is going.

(Mon 8:25pm) Did you like, punch the canteen lady or something? (Mon 8:26pm) Set a lab on fire? (Mon 8:28pm) Talk to someone until they died?

(Mon 8:30pm) You’re asking me if I’ve killed someone.

(Mon 8:32pm) Help me out here.

(Mon 8:35pm) I talk to you for long periods of time and you’re still alive.

(Mon 8:37pm) That’s what you think…

(Mon 8:40pm) Ah, okay. And how long have you been dead?

(Mon 8:43pm) Since October 19th. Time of death: 3:25pm

(Mon 8:44pm) How long did it take you to scroll right back to the beginning?

(Mon 8:45pm) You don’t want to know. (Mon 8:46pm) Anyway, my question?

(Mon 8:49pm) I can safely say that all of your guesses were wrong.

(Mon 8:53pm) I’m a little disappointed, I was hoping you’d burned down at least one little building.

(Mon 8:55pm) It was the locker rooms, not the lab.

(Mon 8:56pm) Really?

(Mon 8:56pm) No.

(Mon 8:58pm) Locker rooms are scary places.

(Mon 8:59pm) ?

(Mon 9:01pm) Semi-naked people.

(Mon 9:04pm) Of course. Bring up naked people in casual conversation.

(Mon 9:05pm) Semi-naked.

(Mon 9:09pm) Must we discuss…nakedness? Has choice of conversation really stooped to this?

(Mon 9:12pm) I can almost feel you blushing.

(Mon 9:15pm) Don’t be stupid.

(Mon 9:18pm) My phone is getting a little warm…

(Mon 9:19pm) Why do I put up with this? Honestly.

(Mon 9:22pm) I like to think we’re trapped.

(Mon 9:23pm) Sounds morbid. Explain.

(Mon 9:27pm) We’re like an old married couple. Neither of us is going to stop replying, no matter how much we

might aggravate each other sometimes.

(Mon 9:28pm) Is that a challenge?

(Mon 9:30pm) … You wouldn’t though. Would you?

(Mon 9:32pm) What, delete your number?

(Mon 9:32pm) Yeah.

(Mon 9:34pm) I have to remind myself often that you don’t actually know me.

(Mon 9:35pm) But you’re like the bread to my butter! (Mon 9:36pm) The bloodied victim to my mentally deranged psychopath? (Mon 9:38pm) We’re chalk and cheese :)

(Mon 9:42pm) Chalk and cheese are complete opposites.

(Mon 9:48pm) Exactly.

---------------------------------------------

Wednesday 14th January

(Wed 10:23am) Your brother is texting me, what do I tell him?

(Wed 10:27am) Tell him his new suit does make him look fat.

(Wed 10:35am) Very funny. Seriously, how long are you going to be staying at mine? As much as my parents love you, they said I’m not allowed another pet.

(Wed 10:40am) I’ll stay until my Father is gone.

(Wed 10:45am) Which is how long?

(Wed 10:52am) We’ll see. It all depends on Mycroft growing some common sense. And some balls.

(Wed 10:59am) Sure. And where are you? I woke up and you were gone.

(Wed 11:04am) Busy.

(Wed 11:08am) Clearly. You didn’t even stop for my famous scrambled eggs.

(Wed 11:12am) Investigating. Tell you about it later.

(Wed 11:15am) I can’t come help?

(Wed 11:23am)

No. I want to be alone.

(Wed 11:25am) Fine. How’s John doing? (Wed 11:53am) Sherlock? Is everything alright?

~

(Wed 2:13pm) I don’t know.

-------------------------------------------

Thursday 15th January

(Thurs 5:15pm) How do you think it went?

(Thurs 5:20pm) Could have been better to tell the truth.

(Thurs 5:23pm) Yeah, it was a hard paper though. I mean what was up with question 8?

(Thurs 5:25pm) Ugh, I know. I don’t want to think about it.

(Thurs 5:30pm) What about Sherlock?

(Thurs 5:33pm) … What about him?

(Thurs 5:36pm) What’s he studying?

(Thurs 5:39pm) Sherlock got kicked out of college, I have no idea if/how he’s taking any exams, the lucky bastard.

(Thurs 5:42pm) Are you serious? What for?

(Thurs 5:45pm) He wouldn’t tell me, he’s very good at changing the subject…

(Thurs 5:52pm) He did come across as a little strange when I met him. (Thurs 5:53pm) You know… in the best possible way. (Thurs 5:55pm) Not to sound rude.

(Thurs 5:58pm) I keep forgetting that you’ve met him.

(Thurs 6:01pm) Haven’t you?

(Thurs 6:04pm) Nope. (Thurs 6:05pm) Not yet.

(Thurs 6:08pm) Ooh, yet? When are you planning it to happen? (Thurs 6:10pm) It should be really dramatic, with doves flying behind you and At Last playing in the background!

(Thurs 6:12pm) Sherlock would hate that. Perfect. (Thurs 6:14pm) And I don’t know when. I’d be happy to meet the guy any time, I’m just not sure about how he feels about the whole thing.

(Thurs 6:16pm) I’m kind of jealous of you if I’m honest.

(Thurs 6:20pm) You wouldn’t be if you talked to him everyday.

(Thurs 6:23pm) You talk every day?

(Thurs 6:24pm) Well… nearly.

(Thurs 6:28pm) Just get married already!

(Thurs 6:30pm) What happened to you, gushing over his eyes and hair and voice?

(Thurs 6:33pm) I didn’t gush! (Thurs 6:36pm) And even if I did, I’d have perfect reason to. He looks like a majestic, lanky, literature enthusiast from the 19th century.

(Thurs 6:40pm) That’s pretty specific.

(Thurs 6:43pm) He’s beautiful.

(Thurs 6:49pm) I’ll have to take your word for it.

~

(Thurs 12:03pm) How are you spending this fine Thursday night?

(Thurs 12:12pm) With my head buried beneath one of Greg’s sofa pillows.

(Thurs 12:16pm) Partying like a true Londoner, nice. (Thurs 12:17pm) And you’re sleeping at Greg’s again? Is this guy some kind of pimp?

(Thurs 12:19pm) He once cried when we watched a film about a dead dog together.

(Thurs 12:23pm) You two watched Marley And Me together and you’re saying you’re not a couple?

(Thurs 12:27pm) It was either that or Titanic.

(Thurs 12:33pm) No Bond films?

(Thurs 12:35pm) No Bond films.

(Thurs 12:40pm) I’ll convince you one day.

-----------------------------------------------

Friday 16th January

(Fri 9:02pm) Sherlock, answer your phone! (Fri 9:15pm) Answer your bloody phone, this is getting ridiculous. (Fri 9:24pm) Sherlock!!! (Fri 9:30pm) I’m the one getting an earful from Mycroft because of you. (Fri 9:35pm) I think that’s worse than whatever is in your head right now. (Fri 9:37pm) Sherlock!?

~

(Fri 11:10pm) I want to stop this.

(Fri 11:18pm) Stop what?

(Fri 11:20pm) This texting.

(Fri 11:29pm) You’re not being serious.

(Fri 11:31pm) I am.

(Fri 11:35pm) … No. (Fri 11:37pm)

Where the hell did this come from? (Fri 11:44pm) I’m calling you, right now.

(Fri 11:45pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“Sherlock?”

“John.”

“…”

“…”

“Is this because of what I said? Us being trapped? Did I say something…?”

“It’s taken me three months to realise that I shouldn’t have continued this.”

“Why? Why the fuck are we such a bad thing?”

“Because this happened. You and me, on the phone. Nearly every bloody day, John.”

“So? I don’t get what’s wrong--”

“Of course you wouldn’t--”

“Oh that’s right, me and my tiny brain. We don’t understand a fucking thing.”

“Maybe I’m not… what if I’m not what you think?”

“…What does that mean? You’re still the serial killer I texted those months ago, who asked me to bring over some more petri dishes--”

“John--”

“Who sent me those bloody horse photos at 1am and I laughed so hard my sister woke up and came in my room--”

“I want to disappear.”

“Well, shit. I do too sometimes. Everyone does at some point.”

“You don’t understa--”

“No, you don’t understand! And… and… okay maybe I don’t understand either but—Sherlock, calm down. It’s al--”

“It’s not alright! I hate this place. I hate the people. I hate my home!”

“Most people do, have you never seen The Breakfast Club? Just stop yelling, would you?”

“I’ll yell if I want to.”

“Fine. Yell, if it helps. Do anything. Just stop this whole ridiculous goodbye thing.”

“It’s not ridiculous--”

“I don’t even know how far away you are. What if you’re just down the street? What if I came to-”

“No. You can’t come meet me. You never can.”

“Why—why not?”

“You’ll… you won’t…”

“Like you? Because—“

“No. I’m not… stable. I’m not…”

“Not…?”

“I’m a…”

“Sherlock?”

“I’m an addict.”

“…”

“I take… drugs.”

“Don’t…”

“And--”

“Sherlock--”

“And you wouldn’t understand. No one ever understands. You wouldn’t… we can’t meet. So we might as well leave things here. And forget.”

“I don’t want to… I can’t just… un-know you. You can’t disappear after all this and expect me to be able to just carry on like you were never there. You can’t--”

“I can.”

“You’re the only fucking good thing I have at the moment. I don’t care if you… if you…”

“But you do. I know you, John. Somehow, I know you. And I know that this won’t end the way you want it to.”

“You’re wrong. Shit, you’ve never been more wrong.”

“…”

“For someone so bleeding smart, you can be spectacularly stupid.”

“I don’t need you.”

“…Yes, you do. We’re both falling to shit. We’re both… we’re both…”

“Your voice, it’s…”

“…”

“This is distressing for you.”

“You can tell?”

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.”

“What?”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

“…”

“Don’t you dare fucking hang up on me. I swear to--”

~~Disconnected~~

~

(Fri 12:20pm) If all this is because you think your life is messed up, then I’m sorry but that’s no excuse. You already know I got my new job only because one of my parents lost theirs, and what little money trickles in is going straight to university fees. Fees we probably won’t even end up paying because it’s so damn expensive. My sister is scared to be in the same room, let alone same house as my parents because they’re still having a hard time coping with her coming out, and my grades are slipping and Mike might be moving away and Katy now has a girlfriend and so just stop. Stop it. Because we both need each other. (Thurs 12:34pm) And lets be honest, nothing you’re going through can be worse than dating a girl who turned out to be using you as a beard. (Thurs 12:38pm) I sat through all those episodes of Jeremy Kyle for nothing. (Thurs 12:45pm) Don’t leave.

January 17th Chapter Summary

But for some reason things have always been different with you.

Chapter Notes

Thank Prince William's shiny codpiece for 1am writing bursts because this chapter would not be up right now without it.

John : Sherlock : Greg

Saturday 17th January

(Sat 9:34am) Are you really going through with this?

~

(Sat 3:09pm) I take it that’s a yes.

~

(Sat 8:46pm) So am I supposed to just wait here until you see sense?

-----------------------------------------

Monday 19th January

(Mon 6:29pm) Goddammit, every time I get a text I keep expecting your name to flash up.

~

(Mon 11:57pm) Will you not even text back to tell me you’re alright? I’m about to tear my hair out here.

-----------------------------------------

Tuesday 20th January

(Tues 3:12pm) Hi John, this is Greg. I’m Sherlock’s friend.

(Tues 3:19pm) How did you get my number?

(Tues 3:24pm) When you’ve known the Holmes family as long as I have, you learn that no matter what’s going on, they’ve meddled in it.

(Tues 3:37pm) Which means…?

(Tues 3:39pm) Mycroft wrote it down after your little chat.

(Tues 3:41pm) You and Mycroft are close pals then?

(Tues 3:44pm) As close as two people who are willing to tolerate each other for the sake of a certain idiot can be.

(Tues 3:46pm) Speaking of a certain idiot.

(Tues 3:48pm) Sherlock is fine.

(Tues 3:50pm) Really? He didn’t sound fine. (Tues 3:51pm) At all.

(Tues 3:53pm) You spoke on the phone?

(Tues 3:54pm) Yes.

(Tues 3:57pm) And he wouldn’t even return my texts.

(Tues 3:59pm) Where is he?

(Tues 4:00pm) Why? Are you planning to try and see him? (Tues 4:04pm) Because I don’t think that’s a good idea.

(Tues 4:10pm) I’m not interested in what you think right now.

(Tues 4:13pm) Hey, we’re on the same side John. Sherlock is …under supervision. You don’t need to worry.

(Tues 4:15pm) It’s kind of hard not too.

(Tues 4:24pm) I know this sounds really shitty, but Sherlock tried to stop communication with you for a reason. A reason that only makes sense in his strangely wired brain. And he’s stubborn as hell. He isn’t going to change his mind any time soon, if at all.

(Tues 4:26pm) This makes no sense. (Tues 4:29pm) There was no sign, he didn’t act any differently. Just all of a sudden he doesn’t want anything to do with me?

(Tues 4:32pm) His face was still hidden behind his phone screen.

(Tues 4:34pm) He didn’t need to hide from me. (Tues 4:35pm) I didn’t think he was.

(Tues 4:37pm) Don’t take it personally. He hides from everyone.

(Tues 4:39pm) What do you mean? Aren’t you two best friends?

(Tues 4:42pm) Ha! Best friends? No, definitely not. We have a complicated relationship. If you think I know what’s going on in his mind, you’re mistaken.

(Tues 4:52pm)

So what am I supposed to do now?

(Tues 4:55pm) Move on?

(Tues 4:57pm) From now on you are Greg: Giver Of Shit Advice.

(Tues 4:59pm) It’s all I got at the moment. I’ll text you if something happens.

(Tues 5:04pm) What could happen?

(Tues 5:10pm) I don’t know. Anything. (Tues 5:14pm) It’s Sherlock.

-----------------------------------------

Wednesday 21st January

(Wed 12:33pm) *David Attinborough voice* Day 4: Sherlock is still trapped in his phone, unable to escape or reply to anything I send him. (Wed 12:34pm) He’s running out of supplies. (Wed 12:36pm) Water is short. (Wed 12:40pm) All the sandwiches are gone. (Wed 12:43pm) And he had to burn the scarf for lack of firewood. (Wed 12:48pm) This was funnier in my head. (Wed 12:53pm) I just made myself sad. (Wed 12:55pm) Going to class now.

Going to class now.

-----------------------------------------

Saturday 24th January

(Sat 9:53pm) It’s been 7 days already. A whole fucking week. (Sat 10:00pm) I thought I’d remind you. You know, just in case you can’t count.

-----------------------------------------

Monday 25th January

(Mon 8:34pm) I never went back out with Ella in case you were wondering. (Mon 8:36pm) She wanted to go for dinner again, but I turned her down. (Mon 8:40pm) John Watson’s exclusive dating advice: don’t tell a girl you can’t go out because you miss the stranger-who’s-not-really-a-stranger that you used to text in the evenings. (Mon 8:44pm) I just scrolled back to those horse photos and I’m in hysterics again oh my god.

~

(Tue 00:28am) I miss our late night talks.

-----------------------------------------

Wednesday 27th January

(Wed 12:13pm)

Lunch times are boring without you taking the piss out of something.

-----------------------------------------

Thursday 28th January

(Thurs 4:12pm) I wondered briefly whether you might find these texts annoying but then I remembered that I don’t care. (Thurs 4:23pm) Your lack of texts is annoying for me so I’d say that what we have going on right now is pretty fair.

~

(Thurs 10:13pm) What am I talking about? This isn’t fair at all.

-----------------------------------------

Saturday 30th January

(Sat 4:23pm) Walking home from work, where I’m going to do more work after a hard day serving turkey and brie paninis. College life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, you’re lucky you got out early. (Sat 4:29pm) We had an unusually long lunch rush today. (Sat 4:32pm) And because I know you’re thinking about me using this phone as my diary, I just wanted to say… (Sat 4:33pm) Shut up.

-----------------------------------------

Monday 4th February

(Mon 12:15pm) I was wondering what you did with the scarf. (Mon 12:18pm) Did you get rid of it? (Mon 12:20pm) I hope you didn’t.

~

(Mon 3:18pm) Which is stupid. I shouldn’t care. (Mon 3:22pm) But for some reason things have always been different with you.

-----------------------------------------

Thursday 7th February

(Thurs 9:43pm) Were you worried that I wouldn’t want to be associated with you because you’ve taken drugs? (Thurs 9:46pm) I don’t know why I keep asking questions, you’re not going to answer.

~

(Thurs 11:32pm) Anyway, I wanted to say that you were wrong. I don’t mind. (Thurs 11:35pm) Which means you don’t know me as well as you said you did.

~

(Fri 00:14am) I get it though. You were worried. You said no one else ever understands. But I needed to

understand about as much as you needed to leave. None at all. (Fri 00:20am) The drugs thing… it doesn’t change anything. Whenever I got a text from you, I got this knot in my stomach. (Fri 00:27am) I don’t know what that means, but I know that assuming things about me didn’t do a fucking thing. (Fri 00:34am) Except confirm that you’re the smartest idiot to ever walk this earth.

~

(Fri 1:13am) Fuck you Sherlock Holmes.

-----------------------------------------

Sunday 10th February

(Sun 00:43am) Hey, remember when I said that a man with just a sandwich for company is barely a man at all? I think that applies right about now.

-----------------------------------------

Thursday 14th February

(Thurs 9:31am) Happy Valentines Day. I get the feeling you hate this holiday as much as you hate Halloween.

-----------------------------------------

Saturday 16th February

(Sat 10:24pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. I’m obviously in the middle of something more important than whatever you have to say, so leave a message, but only if it’s not mind-numbingly dull. And if this is Mycroft, yes, it was me who hid the cake tin. No, I won’t tell you where it is.”

“…”

~~Disconnected~~

-----------------------------------------

Monday 18th February

(Mon 2:19pm) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Hello.”

“Oh thank God. Sherlock, you’re supposed to be at home--”

“I know full well where my family wants me to be.”

“It’s just, Mycroft is--”

“Still running around after him I see.”

“Would you shut up for a second?”

“Go on then, I picked up the phone, make this good.”

“You can’t keep running off like this.”

“If it helps, I’ll do what I like.”

“If you’re struggling you’re supposed to ask for help from me, or…”

“Or who?”

“…John?”

“…”

“Why don’t you get back in touch. That might… help.”

“You can blame John for this.”

“What?”

“This is John’s doing."

“That’s-- Why John, though? Why is he the cause of all this?”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

“Because…”

“…”

“Because he’s strange and surprising in a way that by some means makes me laugh because it’s just so ridiculous and for some reason he thinks I’m interesting and funny and because he works exceedingly hard for something he knows he isn’t going to get and he cares more about his friend having a well rested night than he does about getting home safely and he has a frankly awful swearing habit but when confronted he bought a dictionary to make up for it because he thought it would make me smile and he bought me a cup of tea which is candidly the weakest and dullest random act of kindness I’ve ever known but for some stupid, stupid reason it put a lump in my throat and because he made me a scarf and he made my day and he was on a date with a girl but he was thinking about me and… That’s why.”

“…Then-then what the bleeding hell is the problem?”

“I’m none of that. This isn’t me.”

“Text him.”

“Greg--”

“I mean it, this guy is obviously not someone you can afford to let go of.”

“You don’t get it, why does nobody get it--”

“Oh, I get it, Sherlock. I get more than you might think.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re scared of--”

“…”

“You know what? Forget it.”

“No.”

“Use that oversized brain of yours and then come back to my house. I’m gonna set this straight if it’s the last thing I do. And knowing you, it just might be.”

“Insufferable git--”

~~Disconnected~~

-----------------------------------------

Wednesday 20th February

(Wed 12:26pm) Is this worth it anymore? Are you even getting these?

Interlude ~ 70 Days Chapter Summary

It just makes the situation that bit more... messy.

Chapter Notes

It's called (for lack of a better word) an interlude. I don't even know what it is. Call it what you like. And apologies to Katzedecimal. I um, look forward to seeing how you handle this. Also, those funny lines running down the side are an AO3 thing, sorry I can't get rid of them. They bug me too.

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

5 Days Later

“How about you and me get some fresh air?”

“How about no.”

9 Days Later

“Are you having as much trouble as I am?”

“He’s always been this much trouble. But yes. I am.”

15 Days Later

“Hey, has Sherlo--?”

“No.”

20 Days Later

“Come over.”

“I’m busy.”

“It’s important.”

“It’s always important.”

“And recently, you always seem to be busy.”

24 Days Later

“How about one last revision cram before tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

“Too late, I’ve already got your mug out of the cupboard.”

30 Days Later

“He’s better. Or… Getting there, at the least.”

“Is that because of…?”

“Rehab. Yes.”

“I like to think it helped.”

“You ‘like to think’?”

“It’s hard to tell sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“His eyes.”

36 Days Later

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

48

Days Later

“Is Mike gone?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you?”

“Station.”

“Hugs and Bond films. My house. Now.”

“I was just going to go home…”

“I’ve got Hobnobs too.”

“…Put the kettle on.”

“Why does everyone leave?”

55 Days Later

“You think he loves him.”

“Yes. Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?”

“Well it just makes the whole situation that bit more… messy.”

“Is he even capable--?”

“He’s not a machine, Greg.”

60

Days Later

“You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. I’m obviously in the middle of something more important than whatever you have to say, so leave a message, but only if it’s not mind-numbingly dull. And if this is Mycroft, yes, it was me who hid the cake tin. No, I won’t tell you where it is.”

“Um.. well, I didn’t really expect you to answer your phone, but it’s late and I have some things I feel like getting off my chest and since you’re not… around… at the moment I’ll have to talk to the, um, recorded version of you. What I wanted to say was that I think I figured out the reason you left, and I think… it’s because you didn’t realise how similar we actually are, and how much I actually enjoyed talking to you. Even the pointless shit I texted you at god-knows-what-time helped me in a way, and I meant what I said about getting this… knot… this um, fuck I don’t even know how to describe it. I guess you could say I… romanticised you. Yeah. That’s probably the safest way to put it, anyway…”

“I haven’t seen you on your phone recently.”

“…”

“Where is it?”

“You’ve been talking to Greg.”

“Sherlock. Where is your phone?”

“Gone.”

“…And it really didn’t help when there was Molly raving on about how bloody attractive you are. Or… are supposed to be. Tall, deep voice, dark curls, grey eyes, or was it blue? And a smile that lights up your whole face. Molly didn’t… um… mention that last bit. But I figured for myself that you’d have that kind of face. I used to imagine you all pissed off with a face that looked like you were peeing lemon juice. Then you’d see something that would suddenly make your mouth stretch into a huge grin and then your eyes wouldn’t droop downwards so much and your cheeks would crinkle and… a dimple would emerge from the intensity of the smile and… and you’d be a different person. I liked to think that… my texts could cause that. That’s… well. That’s what I liked to think, anyway. It’s dumb, I know. I know what you’re thinking. Your soul is made of

fucking steel. How could I have penetrated it with stupid texts about, what was it? Fish? Cranberry sauce? And… and James Bond villains. I was so desperate in the early days to get some conversation out of you that I asked you which sandwich filling I should go for. Now… now I can’t even afford a canteen sandwich at college. Funny that. Well... no. It’s not funny, actually…”

“Gone?”

“That is what I said.”

“…Gone where?”

“For a walk.”

“…But I was also… um, jealous of Molly. Because she’s met you. She’s spoken to you face to face. And it just doesn’t seem fair that you met her and now you refuse to meet me. It always bothered me. Especially the way she was always so interested in you. She wanted to give you her number, you know? And, shit, it sounds terrible and possessive but that was the last thing I wanted. What I did want was… to meet you at Speedy’s. And I actually tried, Christmas eve. I always think about what your reaction would have been. Anyway, and… it wouldn’t be awkward and we’d sit and have a cuppa and it would turn out that you were just as interested in me as I was… am… in you. But that wasn’t what you wanted, I guess. But you know what el--”

“Then you’ll need a new one.”

“…”

“Here, take mine. I’ll buy a new one tomorrow.”

(Fri 10:26pm) So, apparently there’s a time limit on voice mails. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

70 Days Later

“How are you holding up?”

“Things aren’t great, Molly.”

“How can I help? I want to help.”

“Thanks but…you can’t help. There’s nothing for it, really.”

“It just makes me sad, you know? All that studying we did…. You work so hard.”

“I know.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“…”

“…John? What are you thinking?”

“Military.”

May 2nd Chapter Summary

You are John's pie, is what I'm trying to say.

Chapter Notes

+100 points to the first person to spot the band reference.

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Wednesday 2nd May

(Wed 6:12pm) Have you spoken to your parents yet?

(Wed 6:19pm) Not yet, I was going to bring it up tomorrow night since it’s Chinese takeaway night. Hopefully they’ll be in a better mood after some Kung Po chicken.

(Wed 6:23pm) Are you absolutely sure about it?

(Wed 6:24pm) You think I should order the beef in black bean sauce instead?

(Wed 6:26pm) John.

(Wed 6:27pm) You don’t want me to join. I can tell.

(Wed 6:35pm) I want you to do what you think is best.

(Wed 6:39pm) We’ve already talked about this. There’s no way we can afford for me to go to university. Joining the army is the only way I can get medical training.

(Wed 6:46pm) I know, I just wanted to make sure you’d thought about it for long enough before making any decisions.

(Wed 6:50pm) What’s there left to think about?

(Wed 6:56pm) The people you’d be leaving behind?

(Wed 6:58pm) I wouldn’t be leaving anything you know. Just… going away for a bit.

(Wed 7:04pm) A bit? You’d have to serve for 6 years. And that’s after all the training. (Thurs 7:06pm) That’s a long time. A lot of cups of tea I’ll be drinking without you.

(Wed 7:10pm) …I know.

(Wed 7:16pm) And what about Sherlock?

~

(Wed 9:45pm) Don’t think I haven’t thought about that either.

------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday 3rd May

(Thurs 10:37am) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Hello.”

“…Sherlock?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you have Mycroft’s phone?”

“He gave it to me.”

“To keep?”

“Yes. He bought a new one.”

“….Did you tell him the reason you no longer have your old one?”

“No.”

“Do you plan to?”

“No.”

“… And is there a reason he didn’t tell me his new number?”

“Why don’t you ask him instead and leave me alone?”

“You’re forgetting I didn’t actually call this phone to speak to you, but since we’re here…”

“There’s nothing for us to talk about. I have a new phone that faintly smells like cake frosting thanks to Mycroft’s sticky fingers and I’m actually in the middle of--”

“But what about John?”

“…Why must you always bring him up?”

“Why do you think?”

“…”

“I know.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“So little faith. You know I’ve always wanted to be some kind of Detective Inspector, we pick up on these things. All the small things.”

“Every conversation--”

“Nearly every conversation--”

“You mention him as if he’s the most important thing in every situation, as if... as if his feelings are what we’re living for. Why?”

“Because he is important, Sherlock. When are you going to realise that? You said it yourself, he’s the cause of all of this--”

“Exactly! Why do you think I--”

“Left him?”

“…We weren’t a couple.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“The implications are always there with you.”

“I’m just surprised that you still think they’re implications…”

“Can I hang up yet?”

“That’s awfully polite of you to ask, are you feeling okay?”

“Spectacular.”

Getting bored?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, let me just say one thing.”

“Make it interesting then.”

“It’s to do with John, I think you’ll find it interesting.”

“I’m this close, Greg--”

“John never met you--”

“Obviously.”

“He never saw you scowling and pacing and spitting words at people trying to help you. Me, for one. He never had his face physically slammed in a doorway by you, or saw you hunched over an experiment with your earplugs in to block out everything around you. He sent you a text on Christmas day, but didn’t see you actually sat at the dinner table wearing that ridiculous scarf he made you while everyone pointed it out and made fun of it--”

“Is there anything Mycroft doesn’t tell you? Where are you going with this?”

“All he got was your dialogue. Which, though impressive, is what makes you repel most people.”

“I can’t help it if other people are--”

“Stupid. Yeah, I know. But John didn’t keep talking to you because you were actually human underneath, he liked your personality, oddly enough. You might have been acting yourself, the annoying, dickhead you, but he still fell in love with it.”

“There you go again--”

“Alright! Alright. Fell in love the way that someone might fall in love with… a pie.”

“…A pie?”

“You are John’s pie, is what I’m trying to say.”

“…That’s the most absurd--”

“Don’t ridicule my pie metaphor, it is gold. And accurate.”

“It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Just think about it. John… John got a spoon, right? And--”

“Oh for the love of--”

“Listen! He armed himself with his spoon and he looked down at this mighty confusing delicacy that was laid before him by fate--”

“Fate?”

“Yes, Sherlock. Fate.”

“You can’t honestly believe--”

“Something made John’s finger slip when he accidentally dialled your number and he doesn’t have sausage fingers all right because I checked. He’s pretty fit. Plays rugby. But you already knew that…”

“You looked him up on facebo--?”

“Moving back to the pie. John dug his spoon into the crusty hard top and do you know what he found underneath it?”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“More crust.”

“Greg--”

“But that didn’t stop him! Oh no. John was curious about this mysterious pie with more than one crust. And he dug again to find yet another layer.”

“Right, I think I get it. I’m a crusty, fruitless pie, John's curiosity will eventually get the better of him and you have strangely unearthed a new passion for desserts, no wonder you and Mycroft are such a pair.”

“You might be crusty, but you’re not fruitless. It just takes a bit longer to get to the fruit. But when John gets down to the bottom he’ll find apples and pears and blackberries and just a hint of cinnamon…”

“As poetic as this conversation has been, I am actually rather busy.”

“Busy. You two Holmes brothers are always freaking busy. What do you even do?”

“Definitely not compare each other to pies.”

“All I was saying, is that just because you have more layers of crust to get through to the good stuff, it doesn’t mean that John doesn’t want to eventually eat you--”

~~Disconnected~~

(Wed 10:52am) Okay, I must have gone a bit too far. (Wed 10:58am) I made my point though, right? (Wed 11:13am) I’ll take that as a yes.

------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday 5th May

(Sat 12:04pm) Hey, long time no speak. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

(Sat 12:06pm) Get it? Because you haven’t said a word to me in 2 fucking months. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

(Sat 12:14pm) I really wish you would just charge your phone already. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

~

(Sat 4:25pm) Walking home from work. This is where I’d be telling you something important if your phone was fucking working. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

(Sat 4:38pm) This is really pissing me off. You’re probably doing it on purpose as well. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

~

(Sat 6:12pm) It’s ironic really, the pointless texts drove you to abandoning your phone but now when I actually have something critical to tell you, I can’t. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

(Sat 6:15pm) WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN? MESSAGE SEND FAILURE. WHERE DID THE MESSAGE GO? WHAT THE FUCK. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

(Sat 6:24pm) I need an early night and to wake up to about 200 texts from you, all of them apologies for being the worlds biggest prat while still managing to be the only person I ever feel like talking to. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

------------------------------------------------------------

Monday 7th May

(Mon 5:13pm) They’re feeling a bit better about the idea now.

(Mon 5:20pm) That’s good!

(Mon 5:23pm) Not good.

(Mon 5:25pm) Not good?

(Mon 5:28pm) Now that we’re past the crying and the hour-long discussions, my dad barely says anything and I keep catching my mum looking at me like it’s the last chance she’ll get.

(Mon 5:30pm) They’re just worried, you know that.

(Mon 5:32pm) I think they knew it was coming too.

(Mon 5:34pm) What about Harry?

(Mon 5:35pm) She’s fine with it. Better than my parents anyway.

(Mon 5:36pm) No tears?

(Mon 5:38pm) She’s not exactly the crying type. She laughed throughout the end of Titanic, the strange soulless child.

(Mon 5:40pm) I can’t say the same for myself, I think I’m going to bawl when you finally go!

(Mon 5:43pm) Don’t you start, I still have my A-Levels to finish before anything interesting happens.

(Mon 5:46pm) I know that Toby will miss you.

(Mon 5:48pm) No, he’ll miss scratching all my new jumpers. I had to donate my old Christmas one to a charity shop. It was practically falling apart and reeked of cat piss.

(Mon 5:50pm) He likes you! You’ll miss him, you’re a softy at heart.

(Mon 5:52pm) I will not.

(Mon 5:55pm)

Had any luck with Sherlock?

(Mon 5:57pm) Nope, his phone still isn’t receiving my texts.

(Mon 5:58pm) Do you know why?

(Mon 6:01pm) Not yet. I thought he hadn’t charged it, but it’s been days. Maybe he broke it or smashed it or… something.

(Mon 6:05pm) Would he really do that?

(Mon 6:10pm) Probably.

------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday 8th May

(Tues 2:49pm) Did you have that chat with Sherlock?

(Tues 2:52pm) Yes, I did.

(Tues 2:53pm) And?

(Tues 2:55pm) Success. I called him a pie.

(Tues 3:02pm) … (Tues 3:04pm) Of course you did.

(Tues 3:08pm) It was highly effective.

(Tues 3:10pm) I think I’ll be the judge of that.

(Tues 3:12pm) There’s method in the madness.

(Tues 3:14pm) But what did you essentially say?

(Tues 3:17pm) I don’t know, I… told him to be fruitful.

(Tues 3:20pm) I could have done that.

(Tues 3:25pm) But we all know that as soon as you get on the topic of pie there’s no stopping you. (Tues 3:45pm) Great, ok, now you’re ignoring me. You’re just like Sherlock. 5 years old at heart. (Tues 3:54pm) At least now I know that pie is your absolute limit.

(Tues 3:58pm) I’m not ignoring you, it’s just… my parents.

(Tues 4:03pm) Come on then, I’ll take you for coffee. Get you out of that wretched house. (Tues 4:06pm)

And don’t you dare say you’re busy.

(Tues 4:06pm) Only if you buy me a doughnut.

(Tues 4:08pm) What happened to the diet?

(Tues 4:10pm) Forget the diet. I’ve been cheating on it from the start.

(Tues 4:12pm) *Gasp* Mycroft! What would Aunt Gertrude say?

(Tue 4:16pm) She wouldn’t say anything. The bigoted old bat died 6 months ago. Do keep up.

(Tues 4:18pm) Your family is exhausting.

(Tues 4:20pm) I know. And now you know why I turn to desserts in times of need.

May 10th Chapter Summary

You were the voice in the middle of the night.

Chapter Notes

You know when you finish writing a chapter at 1 in the morning on a week day and all at the same time you want to collapse into bed, run down your street shrieking in relief, and devour every last thing in the kitchen? Yeah. That.

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Thursday 10th May

(Thurs 6:02pm) Are you going to let Sherlock know?

(Thurs 6:12pm) About what?

(Thurs 6:14pm) You leaving.

(Thurs 6:18pm) I’m not leaving for quite a while yet, I think there’s still time.

(Thurs 6:22pm) I know, but what if? Is there no way you can get a message to him about where you’ll be? He might change his mind and then it’ll be too late.

(Thurs 6:25pm) You’re making this sound awfully dramatic. We don’t live in an episode of Eastenders you know.

(Thurs 6:30pm) Feels like it sometimes…

(Thurs 6:34pm) I know you’re concerned about me never meeting Mr. Dark-And-Beautiful, but don’t worry, I actually do have an idea.

-----------------------------------------------------

Friday 11th May

(Fri 11:13pm) I’ve needed to do a lot of thinking lately, and I remembered what you said all those months back when I was stranded at Molly’s. Now I’m walking around my street at night and wondering whether you might be doing the same, and how funny it would be if we like, bumped into each other, turning a corner. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE] (Fri 11:18pm) Would that be funny? I don’t know. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE] (Fri 11:25pm) I’d probably think you were going to mug me and I’d punch you in the face or vice versa and I don’t really feel like explaining you to my parents in a hospital waiting room. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE] (Fri 11:36pm) Am I going to have to explain you to anyone at all? Because you’re a hard person to explain. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

~

(Sat 1:01am) It doesn’t look like it. [MESSAGE SEND FAILURE]

-----------------------------------------------------

Saturday 12th May

(Sat 7:00pm) Sherlock is doing the dishes.

(Sat 7:07pm) Oh my god, take a picture.

(Sat 7:12pm) I’m not that weird, Gregory. Besides, he’d notice.

(Sat 7:17pm) I told you not to call me that, it’s reserved for my mum for when I forget to let Rocky out the house in the morning and he shits on the floor.

(Sat 7:20pm) That sounds like Sherlock.

(Sat 7:24pm) Hey, be nice! The poor bloke is scrubbing your plate clean.

(Sat 7:30pm) Actually, he’s more simply dunking the china under the water, watching the bubbles with a solemn expression.

(Sat 7:35pm) Leave him be, he’s just having an identity crisis. He thinks he might be a pie.

(Sat 7:38pm) Well, whatever you said to him, however bizarre, has definitely got him thinking.

(Sat 7:40pm) Do I hear a ‘thank you’ in there somewhere?

(Sat 7:44pm) Not yet, he’s still gazing forlornly at the bubbles. It’s beginning to concern me.

(Sat 7:47pm) All in good time.

-----------------------------------------------------

Sunday 13th May

(Sun 2:10pm) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Yes?”

“Hi, it’s John, the guy your brother used to text?”

“…”

“I don’t know if you remember. I know it was so long ago that you gave me this number, five, maybe even six months or something like that. But I just wanted to ring and ask if you could pass something on to Sherlock for me?”

“…”

“Hello? This is Mycroft Holmes, right?”

“…”

“Don’t tell me I dialled another wrong number.”

“…”

“Hello?”

“You can tell him yourself.”

“What…”

“…”

“Is that… is that Sherlock?”

“Unfortunately.”

“…Shit.”

“Charming.”

“I… I wasn’t prepared for this.”

“…”

“You have some fucking explaining to do.”

“Now isn’t an ideal time, really…”

“No. Now. I’m not hanging up until I get some real answers.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything, I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t act like that you prick, don’t you dare ignore me for months and then… then pretend like you’re not interested in the slightest when I finally hear your voice again… Goddammit, what is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Yes!”

“Would you like me to write you a book?”

“Please do. In fact, I insist on the title, The Angst and Anguish of Sherlock Holmes: Dickheadery at its Finest. 2 stars. Would not recommend, there’s a frankly shit ending.”

“Dickheadery? Really? Now you’re just making up words. I do hope you keep that dictionary close to you.”

“Shut up.”

“It seems that insulting me is the only way you are capable of communicating right now, I think it would be best if I hung up--”

“No!”

“…”

“If you hang up, you might never answer again. Just… give me a minute alright? You can’t blame me.”

“Fine. And within that minute, might you be able to recollect your thoughts enough to remember what it was you wanted Mycroft to pass on to me?”

“I’m not sure now is the right time to say it if you’re in such a bitter mood--”

“Just spit it out.”

“…”

“…”

“I’m not sure I--”

“John.”

“… Fine. I’ve decided to, um, to join the military.”

“…Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“The fuck does ‘yes’ mean? I didn’t ask anything.”

“No.”

“Stop it. Take this seriously.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“…I-I don’t know Sherlock! Ask me when I decided this, why I decided this--”

“I already know.”

“Of course.”

“I do. So, skipping the dull part, what else should I say?”

“Tell me… tell me what you think.”

“I don’t think anything.”

“Don’t give me that--”

“You joining the army does not affect me in any way--”

“You fucking liar.”

“How so?”

“If you leaving me for a few months tore me up inside as much as it did, then me serving in the army for six years after training should… should eat you alive. At the very thought.”

“It should, should it?”

“Yes, that’s how this is supposed to work.”

“You think I care that much? That it would literally eat me?”

“I know you care. Caring about this sort of thing, it makes you human. Stop being ashamed of having feelings.”

“If you’d like a prime example of just how irrelevant you’re being, look at where having feelings has got you--”

“Now wait a minute--”

“Obsessively sending me texts you knew I wouldn’t… couldn’t reply to.”

“Shut up, shut up now.”

“But we haven’t even gotten sentimental yet. It was probably even for the best that my phone ended up crushed outside of St Bart’s Hospital…”

“Why are you being like this?”

“And in fact, if you need an even bigger picture painted for you, look at where caring has landed both of us.”

“…”

“Not much cop, this caring lark, if you ask me.”

“…”

“Well, if that’s everything, the--”

“No, that’s not everything. That’s far from everything. You’re going to sit down, close that mouth of yours and open your ears for once because you obviously don’t understand a damn thing. I’m not ending this on a bad note again; I couldn’t stand it last time. You’re not doing this to me second time around.”

“I’m just making this easier for the both of us--”

“Easy? What part of this is easy? Was what you said easy to say? Because it wasn’t easy to hear. Yes, alright, I sent you lots of whiny texts and I knew you weren’t going to reply to but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to get away with pretending to pity me. I know you were beat up too, so don’t even try to deny it.”

“I can’t honestly mean anything to you--”

“You were the voice in the middle of the night, and okay… maybe I was just the idiot who talked about sandwiches too much but the fact is we didn’t realise how much we needed each other at the time, for different reasons, maybe. And you’re still trying to act like you don’t know that but the hardest part of it all is probably the way that you’re such a bloody good actor. I just… I need to know why.”

“I thought I was… I’m better off alone.”

“No, you’re better off having that annoying guy who lives in your phone. And he’s better off having you.”

“You’re being horrendously soppy.”

“Drastic times call for… soppy measures.”

“That’s not the saying--”

“Yes, yes alright. It’s just… you’re trying to push me away. I know it. And I don’t understand.”

“Because caring is not an advantage.”

“So you care about me.”

“You made things…more interesting.”

“No, I need more than that.”

“Aren’t you needy--”

“Admit that you like me.”

“I don’t like anyone.”

“Then I changed that.”

“And now you’ve established a major sense of self-importance.”

“You don’t have to meet me, if that’s what’s bothering you. You never have to, if that’s what you really want. But you can’t honestly say that something doesn’t feel right about hanging up now and never speaking again. We’ve come too far.”

“I don’t doubt that the most you’ve travelled today is from your bed to your kitchen--”

“Just tell me you won’t change your number after this.”

“…”

“Because I swear to God, if you do, I will personally arrange your funeral and then show up to it in a Mexican sombrero and moustache and tell everyone there that we were surreptitious lovers.”

“And I would rise from my grave to witness the stupid looks on their faces.”

“And then maybe play a jaunty tune on my Spanish guitar as we ride off into the sunset?”

“Stop it, I can’t laugh. I’m at a crime scene.”

“What are you doing at a crime scene?”

“Oh, you know. Bored. Passing the time, proving some points. Obviously.”

“Obviously. So, do we have a deal?”

“What’s the deal?”

“You don’t leave again, and I keep our little lovers scandal under veil of secrecy.”

“… I can’t believe you exist.”

“…”

“…”

“Deal.”

~~Disconnected~~

~

(Sun 3:12pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“Hello, brother dear.”

“You planned this.”

“Oh? Planned what, exactly?”

“I know it, you were just waiting for it to happen. God, why do you always insist on meddling with everything in my life--”

“I can’t read minds, Sherlock.”

“The phone, obviously! You gave me your phone to replace my old one when you knew that John had your number, you nosy, prying--”

“…”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“I can hear you smirking.”

“A smirk is an inaudible action, Sherlock. You might be brilliant, but you’re not superhuman. As much as you like to believe so...”

“Are you happy now?”

“That you’ve spoken to John again, finally? Yes, I’ll admit.”

“How do you know I spoke to him?”

“Oh, please.”

“What?”

“Of course you answered, you miss him as much as he misses you. It’s all rather cute. Hearing him again was just the tip of the iceberg. You caved.”

“Caved? I caved? Let’s not forget about what you do in the garden shed. You make me sound so weak. You say that as if… as if…”

“As if John were a drug you desperately tried to give up. And to no avail, it would seem. You somehow managed to become even more bitchy.”

“…”

“I must say, John is the one drug I do not mind you being addicted to.”

~~Disconnected~~

May 14th Chapter Summary

You keep smiling to yourself.

Chapter Notes

Well, this took longer than anticipated. Sorry about that, I missed a week due to stuff and things (harhar) but here's 18 okay quick just take it now and run.

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Monday 14th May

(Mon 12:06pm) Here we are.

(Mon 12:09pm) So it would seem.

(Mon 12:12pm) Back together again.

(Mon 12:14pm) Oh no.

(Mon 12:15pm) Amigos.

(Mon 12:16pm) Don’t.

(Mon 12:18pm) Partners in crime. Reunited.

(Mon 12:20pm) Good grief.

(Mon 12:22pm) The Dynamic Duo. (Mon 12:23pm) You’re Batman, by the way.

(Mon 12:24pm) Are you done?

(Mon 12:25pm) Yeah… I think so. I’m smiling at my phone like an idiot and I’m starting to get some strange looks.

(Mon 12:28pm) Amused by your own jokes again?

(Mon 12:30pm) Nope, you.

(Mon 12:32pm) I haven’t replied with anything remotely funny.

(Mon 12:32pm) Doesn’t matter.

(Mon 12:33pm) Most people don’t find hostility endearing.

(Mon 12:34pm) I can see your halo.

(Mon 12:35pm) …What?

(Mon 12:38pm) Never mind. Maybe Beyonce wasn’t the best choice.

(Mon 12:40pm) What’s a Beyonce?

(Mon 12:43pm) Oh Sherlock, I missed you.

(Mon 12:46pm) Piss off.

--------------------------------------------

Tuesday 15th May

(Tues 11:23am) I don’t know what you did, but you did it. And you deserve a chocolate sundae for it.

(Tues 11:30am) I didn’t do anything, actually.

(Tues 11:35am) But they’re texting again, and I’m pretty sure it isn’t down to my meaningful pie conversation.

(Tues 11:37am) Thank John, he rang my phone and Sherlock picked up.

(Tues 11:40am) Oh yeah, I forgot you gave him your number!

(Tues 11:41am) So did I.

(Tues 11:47am) You mean you didn’t plan it?

(Tues 11:54am) Of course not. But I can tell underneath his anger that he was secretly impressed that I’d managed to trick him. I’m just going to savour this moment.

(Tues 11:56am) It’s about time things started turning round for those two, I just want to bong their heads together.

(Tues 12:02am) Indeed. But I do believe that when two people truly aren’t meant to be apart, the situation always somehow sorts itself out, as if it knows something is wrong.

(Tues 12:05am) I didn’t know you believed in fate, you big softy.

(Tues 12:08am) Not fate, Greg. Love.

~

(Tues 1:03pm) You keep smiling to yourself.

(Tues 1:06pm) Why are you looking at me? You should be taking notes, or Mr Reynolds will eat your head again.

(Tues 1:09pm) I’m just warning you, you look like you’re grinning at your crotch and people are starting to notice.

(Tues 1:13pm) I can’t really help it. I just have a very pleasing crotch.

(Tues 1:14pm) Okay too much information. But it’s interesting how the thought of Sherlock has your eyes wandering down to your groin area… I wonder what that means?

(Tues 1:15pm) I have a sharpener in my hand and I’m not afraid to lob it at your head.

(Tues 1:17pm) I’m glad you’re in a better mood now that Sherlock answered you. Your eyes have that little gleam again.

(Tues 1:19pm) I didn’t miss him that much..

(Tues 1:20pm) I’ll argue with you about that later.

(Tues 1:22pm) Joy. Now get back to work, at least one of us has to understand this and it’s all going straight over my head.

(Tues 1:23pm) Bossy pants.

--------------------------------------------

Wednesday 16th May

(Wed 3:12pm) John, I googled Beyonce. Is that what you were talking about when you called me an independent black woman? (Wed 3:34pm) John! What does this mean? (Wed 3:43pm) John? (Wed 3:45pm) I can’t… stop… laughing

--------------------------------------------

Thursday 17th May

(Thurs 4:41pm) I’m so glad I can finally ask this question again: How’s John?

(Thurs 4:47pm) I regret this decision already.

(Thurs 4:50pm) What’s he been up to?

(Thurs 4:51pm) Stop it.

(Thurs 4:55pm) Seen any good movies lately?

(Thurs 4:57pm) I’ve gone full circle, I’m back where I was.

(Thurs 4:59pm) Yup, back to having the only person who made your day brighter in your life again. Seriously get your head out of your arse and look at what’s in front of you.

(Thurs 5:06pm) I see a waste of time that will only end in disappointment and cold tea.

(Thurs 5:08pm) Well I see a 7 year old boy crying because his ‘friends’ beat him up and then blamed him for starting it.

(Thurs 5:10pm) Wonderful, bring up childhood traumas, that’s just what I need.

(Thurs 5:15pm) John isn’t like Victor. Or Sebastian. Or any other little git that put you through hell. You trust John, and that scares you, but he’s not going to hurt you. He looks like a bloody hedgehog, for starters...

(Thurs 5:17pm) Where do you and Mycroft go when you sneak off to talk about me?

(Thurs 5:22pm) It’s a secret. (Thurs 5:25pm) And we don’t just talk about you, that would be exhausting.

(Thurs 5:30pm) No, you’re right. You plot countless ways to humiliate me and make my life even harder. You also eat strudel.

(Thurs 5:33pm) Okay, maybe bringing up Victor was a mistake.

(Thurs 5:36pm) Maybe this whole thing is a mistake. Maybe my life is a mistake.

(Thurs 5:43pm) John makes you laugh, and you really need that in your life. (Thurs 5:48pm) It’s like you’re both blindfolded, walking aimlessly around an empty room. You have to shout out Marco if you’re going to find him.

(Thurs 5:49pm) Leave me alone now.

(Thurs 5:53pm) …Alright. (Fri 5:54pm) (Polo)

--------------------------------------------

Friday 18th May

(Thurs 8:34pm) Does me joining the army really not bother you? At all?

(Thurs 8:37pm) Why would it bother me? It’s the only reasonable way for you to become a doctor.

(Thurs 8:40pm) 6 years though.

(Thurs 8:44pm) … Yes?

(Thurs 8:52pm) 6 years, we wouldn’t be able to talk or… see each other.

~

(Thurs 10:14pm) You’re expecting me to change my mind. You’re expecting a ridiculous melodramatic meeting just before you go off to do your training. You expect wrong.

(Thurs 10:32pm) Crush my dreams and then spit on them, why don’t you.

(Thurs 10:36pm) Your only dream is to become a doctor. I’m not standing in the way of that.

(Thurs 10:39pm) So you’re saying that if I weren’t joining the army, you would meet up with me?

(Thurs 10:43pm) I didn’t say that.

(Thurs 10:49pm) You didn’t not say it.

(Thurs 10:54pm) What are you trying to achieve?

(Thurs 11:03pm) I couldn’t possibly tell you.

(Thurs 11:05pm) I don’t like secrets.

(Thurs 11:08pm) It involves a petri dish.

(Thurs 11:10pm) Good night.

(Thurs 11:12pm)

Good night? I’d say this is pretty early for us, you don’t want to know how many lessons I ended up falling asleep in thanks to our late nights.

(Thurs 11:15pm) Then maybe an early night is exactly what you need.

(Thurs 11:19pm) I can’t sleep anyway, I’m out.

(Thurs 11:20pm) Pub? Dull.

(Thurs 11:23pm) No, just walking. Thinking.

(Thurs 11:27pm) So am I.

(Thurs 11:30pm) Don’t get stabbed.

(Thurs 11:33pm) One does not leave their house in the hopes of being stabbed.

(Thurs 11:36pm) Even so, look out for sharp, pointy things.

(Thurs 11:37pm) Invaluable advice, thank you.

(Thurs 11:40pm) Any time.

--------------------------------------------

Saturday 19th May

(Sat 5:12pm) Happy May 19th.

(Sat 5:15pm) What’s so happy about the 19th of May?

(Sat 5:17pm) It’s the birthday.

(Sat 5:19pm) …Of a day? Days have birthdays now?

(Sat 5:22pm) Plot twist, I know. But there’s only one May 19th in a year.

(Sat 5:23pm) Some of the things you come out with… Does this mean you’re celebrating?

(Sat 5:25pm) Of course. Here:

(Sat 5:26pm) Treating myself to a nice romantic walk in the park. (Sat 5:27pm) And by romantic I mean cripplingly lonely.

(Sat 5:30pm) Sounds like my kind of date.

(Sat 5:32pm) I’ll bet.

(Sat 5:34pm) What about tomorrow? Will you celebrate that too?

(Sat 5:35pm) That would mean I’d have to celebrate the next day, and the day after, and the day after that…

(Sat 5:37pm) I do believe that is what boring people refer to as ‘living life to the fullest.’

(Sat 5:42pm)

Why would you live life to the full when you can have your ankle fucking chewed off by a rabid dog jesus christ it looks like I’m hobbling home.

(Sat 5:42pm) From complacent to grumpy old man in 2 seconds flat.

(Sat 5:43pm) Hang on, the owner’s coming over. He better be bringing bandages made from unicorn hair because this thing stings like a bitch.

(Sat 5:45pm) You’re a future doctor John, surely you know that unicorn hair bandages only work on exit wounds. (Sat 5:59pm) John? (Sat 6:08pm) Don’t tell me you’ve seduced him into being your date.

(Sat 6:10pm) Not quite. But we did spend 15 minutes talking, and now we’re going for coffee.

(Sat 6:12pm) You’re joking.

(Sat 6:12pm) Nope, he said his dog had never done that to someone before and that he’d make it up to me with a Starbucks.

(Sat 6:15pm) Are you really that big of a flirt?

(Sat 6:17pm) Someone’s a little jealous that they’re not getting free coffee.

(Sat 6:18pm) I’m not jealous. I don’t need pity coffee.

(Sat 6:20pm) Want to know his name?

(Sat 6:23pm) No.

(Sat 6:25pm) Definitely jealous.

(Sat 6:27pm) You have a horrible habit of texting me when you’re supposed to be talking to the person you’re actually with.

(Sat 6:30pm) I don’t think he minds, considering.

(Sat 6:33pm) Considering what?

(Sat 6:37pm) You.

~

(Sat 7:57pm) Hey Sherlock, you’ll never guess who I met today.

May 20th Chapter Summary

They can drink apple juice and solve crimes together. It'll be their thing.

Chapter Notes

*Runs up to you* *Hands you chapter 19* *Runs away shrieking*

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Sunday 20th May

(Sun 10:18am) Open the door. (Sun 10:35am) Come on Sherlock. (Sun 10:43am) Are you going to make me stand out here all day and night? (Sun 10:48am) I have a dog to walk and coursework to finish. (Sun 10:50am) I know you’re in there.

(Sun 10:54am) Go. Away.

(Sun 10:58am) ~~Incoming Call~~

“What do you want?”

“Open the bloody door.”

“No.”

“It’s starting to rain.”

“Good.”

“I’ll kick it down instead, I’m warning you.”

“No you wont.”

“Here goes nothing.”

“…”

“…”

“That was the most feeble attempt I’ve eve--”

“Yes, yes all right. How about we talk properly, inside where it’s warm and I can tell you what happened?”

“I don’t want to know.”

“…Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, I know the curiosity is killing you--”

“Shut up, just shut up.”

“… Why is this bugging you so much?”

“Bugging me?”

“…”

“How could you be so stupid--”

“Seriously I can nearly hear your voice through this door, you might as well open it and if you need to punch someone in the face then I guess I’m your man. But just this once.”

“You treat me just like everyone else. God, how can you even think you’re different?”

“Whoa, hey, I didn’t mean--”

“Poor Sherlock is all worked up over something ridiculous and fake again and it’s bugging him but no, don’t worry, he just needs to punch something and then he’ll be fine again, that will change everything. He just needs to get his feelings out.”

“…”

“Feelings. Feelings are boring.”

“I’m sorry, all right? Sorry. I didn’t know how much this would bother you, I thought you’d want to know…”

“Of course not, I don’t want to hear about you and him… you talking to him and going for coffee and God, you’ve turned him into something dull.”

“…Me? I’ve turned him into— how? He’s still the same person.”

“No, he’s not. He’s not the same. You’ve ruined him. Now he’s a friend of a friend, he’s mutual, one of those people who wasn’t invited to the party but they showed up anyway and kind of hovered in the background while holding their pity coffee, and it’s boring.”

“He’s not your stranger anymore. Right?”

“…He’s not my anything.”

“No, I get it. He’s no longer your secret stranger who no one knows but you.”

“You make me sound jealous.”

“That’s because you are jealous.”

“Wrong.”

“Possessive?

“Wrong.”

“Protective?

“Partly wrong.”

“But partly right.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, you’re having a strop and won’t let me inside because you don’t like the fact that I met John before you had the chance.”

“I’ve had chances.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. And you push him away. That’s where the whole protective thing comes in, right?”

“But what am I protecting Greg? Can you answer that one? Seeing as you’re on such a roll.”

“No, I can’t, because you’re a fucking idiot. What have you got to be scared of? Nothing. It’s coffee and a chit chat.”

“…”

“We talked about you…”

“I said I don’t want to hear it.”

“He’s shorter than I imagined.”

“Don’t.”

“He said that he thought you were--”

“Are you going deaf?”

“Pardon?”

“I need a nicotine patch. In fact, several.”

“…”

“Stop laughing. This is not a happy time.”

“I just find it strange.”

“Only because you’re making it strange.”

“John has always been a priority of yours. He’d text you and you’d have your phone in your hands faster than I could blink--”

“That’s an exaggeration--”

“I’ve seen it myself. And now he’s practically in arms reach and you don’t even want to hear anything about him. What’s the deal?”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

“Hearing about him won’t help. Hearing the things he’s said out loud rather than over text. What good does it do? Knowing about what he was wearing or how tall he is or what he said about me… it wouldn’t make things easier. You’re making this more difficult than it needs to be, and you’re doing it on purpose. You’re trying to crack me.”

“That’s not true, I’m not trying to crack anything, I just know better than you do. I know how good he is for you, after everything that’s been… you know, going on.”

“You’re putting me in uncomfortable positions.”

“That’s bollocks!”

“Is it?”

“So what if I tell you what he was wearing? What does that do?”

“You’re trying to tease me!”

“Tease? Oh my God!”

“Shut up!”

“You are jealous.”

“You know I refuse to meet him and you’re desperate to change that. We’re not your little action figures that you can control; you don’t deserve any part in all of this.”

“You’re not refusing, you’re just over reacting.”

“I’m being realistic.”

“You’re fucking blind!”

“Excuse me?”

“John makes you laugh, don’t even deny it, I’ve heard you chuckling to yourself--”

“So?”

“So? They say laughter is the best medicine. That’s exactly what you need right now, and John is giving it to you, like the best kind of doctor.”

“He’s not a doctor yet.”

“He’s your doctor anyway. He makes things better, even if it’s just a little bit.”

“Well he hasn’t been doing a very good job, I still went to rehab.”

“You went to rehab because it was better than staying in this toxic home of yours. That’s something only your family can fix.”

“Like that’s going to happen.”

~~Disconnected~~

(Sun 11:20am) ~~Incoming Call~~

“What?”

“Don’t hang up on me. Not cool.”

“I thought the conversation was over.”

“You’re so difficult today. Look, okay, I’m sorry Rocky bit John’s ankle. How about we go for pity coffee?”

“Oh my God, piss off. Why don’t you ask Mycroft? Go on one of your questionable dates or something and leave me alone.”

“Mycroft and I don’t go on dates. We… discuss.”

“Discuss?”

“Serious things. Important things.”

“…”

“We also eat strudel.”

“Can I go now?”

“Mycroft has actually taken to calling me Lestrudel.”

“I don’t want to hear your pet names for each other. I thought this was a serious conversation.”

“It was.”

“And now it’s over. Leave. You can take a spare umbrella with you, Mycroft keeps one in the clay pot next to you."

~~Disconnected~~

-----------------------------------------------

Monday 21st May

(Mon 3:43pm) It’s a beautiful day to go and get pity coffee.

(Mon 3:49pm) And it’s a beautiful day to get hit by a truck and fall into a peaceful coma.

(Mon 3:54pm) …Ignoring that, I saw this on my walk home today and I thought it was appropriate.

(Mon 3:57pm) Ridiculous.

(Mon 3:59pm) Greg thought it was funny.

(Mon 4:03pm) Greg thinks Mycroft is funny, therefore he doesn’t understand the concept of humour. (Mon 4:06pm) Wait, when did Greg see it?

(Mon 4:13pm) With me, after the match. (Mon 4:35pm) Sherlock? Something wrong?

~

(Mon 4:40pm) Now you’re going to his rugby matches? What the hell is this?

(Mon 4:45pm) You never said you didn’t want me to see him again.

(Mon 4:50pm) You’re giving me a headache. (Mon 4:54pm) Why did you even go?

(Mon 4:58pm) He invited me. And someone has to hold his little juice box and shout encouragement from the sidelines. He said his parents never show up, poor chap. I met his sister though, nice girl.

(Mon 5:03pm) And then you walked home together.

(Mon 5:05pm) Yes. (Mon 5:08pm) I mean I didn’t go back to his house, if that’s what you’re asking. I figured you might rip my arm off and then beat me with it if I did that.

(Mon 5:12pm) I don’t care.

(Mon 5:16pm) If you say so.

(Mon 5:23pm) Did you talk about me again? (Mon 5:24pm) No don’t answer that I didn’t mean to ask that. (Mon 5:26pm) Why isn’t there a way to unsend things? Stupid contraption.

(Mon 5:30pm) Don’t worry about it. (Mon 5:31pm) You know he’d love for you to come to his next match.

(Mon 5:37pm) No he wouldn’t. (Mon 5:38pm) Would he? Why would he?

(Mon 5:40pm) I don’t know, ask him.

(Mon 5:45pm) Does he really drink from juice boxes?

(Mon 5:46pm) You’ll have to go to find out.

(Mon 5:48pm) No. sports are boring and irrelevant. What is the point of a group of men tackling each other to the floor in order to gain an illogically shaped ball that serves no purpose other than to be reacquainted with the ground again?

(Mon 5:50pm) The point, my dear, stupid friend, is to watch John run around in rugby shorts, like you’ve always secretly dreamed of.

------------------------------------------------

Wednesday 23rd May

(Wed 5:32pm) You don’t mind do you? That Greg and I have met?

(Wed 5:34pm) It’s hardly your fault the stupid dog attacked you.

(Wed 5:37pm) I guess not. I just wanted to check if you weren’t uncomfortable with it, because obviously I’d respect your privacy, like the gentleman that I am.

(Wed 5:40pm) Why do you care so much?

(Wed 5:41pm) About what?

(Wed 5:44pm) Things.

(Wed 5:45pm) I was hoping for something a bit more specific.

(Wed 5:48pm) My thoughts?

(Wed 5:52pm) Why wouldn’t I care? There’s nothing wrong with caring.

(Wed 5:55pm) I’ve always believed caring to be a dangerous disadvantage.

(Wed 5:57pm)

That’s a surprise.

(Wed 6:02pm) People become too attached to objects, to people, to things that end. They’re idiots.

(Wed 6:07pm) I refuse to believe that you feel no sentiment towards anything at all, that’s just not human. You might as well be a sea cucumber.

(Wed 6:13pm) You’re going to lose this forthcoming argument.

(Wed 6:17pm) The scarf.

(Wed 6:19pm) The scarf? Gone.

(Wed 6:20pm) No it’s not. Greg told me.

(Wed 6:24pm) Greg is going to go home and find all of his coursework stapled together.

(Wed 6:27pm) Slow down there Satan.

(Wed 6:30pm) Contrary to popular belief, I am not Satan.

(Wed 6:35pm) Contrary to popular belief, Sherlock Holmes does in fact feel things.

(Wed 6:39pm) I still wear the scarf, so what?

(Wed 6:43pm) Nothing, I have to go now. I’m cooking spaghetti, like a man.

(Wed 6:47pm) How does one cook spaghetti like a man?

(Wed 6:53pm) I might need to borrow the scarf. (Wed 6:54pm) For manly purposes.

(Wed 6:59pm) No.

(Wed 7:03pm) See what I mean?

--------------------------------------------------

Thursday 24th May

(Thurs 12:15pm) How was the match?

(Thurs 12:19pm) Better than I expected. John’s actually a really nice, warm guy. (Thurs 12:24pm) Though I did catch him drinking out of a juice box, which was hilarious.

(Thurs 12:24pm) A juice box?

(Thurs 12:26pm) It had a little smiley apple on the front.

(Thurs 12:30pm) And this is the person our Sherlock has chosen.

(Thurs 12:33pm) I think he’s done pretty well if you ask me. They can drink apple juice and solve crimes together. It’ll be their thing.

(Thurs 12:38pm) Aunt Gertrude would be so proud.

--------------------------------------------------

Friday 25th May

(Fri 11:12pm) You told me once that you were invested in me. (Fri 11:16pm) Or, in this. Whatever this is. (Fri 11:19pm) It was a long time ago actually, after I bought that dictionary. You said it and I wasn’t expecting it. (Fri 11:23pm) I was just thinking about what you said about caring being something dangerous. About it being a disadvantage. (Fri 11:29pm) But you can’t say you don’t care about me. And I admit I do like a bit of danger… (Fri 11:34pm) I’m not really sure why I brought this up. I don’t know, but there it is. You accidentally had feelings. Whoops.

--------------------------------------------------

Sunday 27th May

(Sun 00:13am) Whoops.

June 1st Chapter Summary

We need to bump up his medication.

Chapter Notes

*pokes head around door* hey guys, I brought you a lil' something, sorry it took so long. Thanks to all the people who sent me lovely, motivational things, and reminded me that I have some awesome and patient readers. (And to Katzedecimal for cheering me up when the pressure was building) *high fives every one of you* ALSO HOLY CRAP 20 CHAPTERS QUICK SOMEONE BLOW UP A BALLOON

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Saturday 1st June

(Sat 8:12pm) Dear diary, this party is playing shit music and I’m going to claw my face off.

(Sat 8:15pm) If you don’t open a conversation with something genuinely interesting I’ll claw it off for you.

(Sat 8:16pm) Dear diary, Sherlock is being mean to me.

(Sat 8:17pm) I’m always the bad guy.

(Sat 8:22pm) Are you going to ask whose party I’m at? Whose house I’m in?

(Sat 8:23pm) …Is it mine?

(Sat 8:25pm) I think you’d know if I was in your house.

(Sat 8:27pm) Then I don’t care.

(Sat 8:30pm) Can you guess how much percent hungry I am right now? Like, 100 potato.

(Sat 8:31pm) You are drunk, go home.

(Sat 8:32pm) You go home.

(Sat 8:34pm) I am gnome.

(Sat 8:35pm) GNOME?

(Sat 8:37pm) Home, I meant home. (Sat 8:37pm) Blame autocorrect.

(Sat 8:39pm) Sherlock Gnomes.

(Sat 8:42pm) Don’t tell that to Greg, I’ll never hear the last of it.

(Sat 8:44pm) Too late.

(Sat 8:44pm) I should have known Greg would be with you.

(Sat 8:46pm) I’m going to pee myself.

(Sat 8:48pm) Not on the carpet John, it’s considered socially ill mannered.

(Sat 8:51pm) I’ll pee where I like.

(Sat 8:53pm) Approximately how much have you had to drink?

(Sat 8:56pm) Enough to make me think that these cocktail sausages look suspiciously more like little wrinkly penises. (Sat 8:57pm) Shouldn’t the plural of penis be penii or something? (Sat 8:57pm) Penæ. (Sat 8:58pm) Penés. (Sat 8:58pm) Piña coladas.

(Sat 9:02pm) Why, John, why?

(Sat 9:03pm) Why what, Mr. Gnomes?

(Sat 9:06pm) Why did you choose me to share in this immensely unsettling conversation?

(Sat 9:11pm) You’re far more interesting than anyone else at this party. (Sat 9:13pm) Besides who else can I talk to here about gnomes and peeing on floors?

(Sat 9:15pm) Surely Greg can provide sufficient entertainment?

(Sat 9:19pm) Greg went off somewhere with a girl, haven’t seen him in a bit.

(Sat 9:21pm) That’s… interesting. Is that also your incentive?

(Sat 9:23pm) To find a girl? I don’t know. (Sat 9:25pm) I mean, Sarah is checking me out if you ask me. (Sat 9:26pm) She totally wants a bit of this.

(Sat 9:28pm) A bit of what?

(Sat 9:30pm) My piña colada.

(Sat 9:33pm) Not if you’ve pissed your pants she won’t.

(Sat 9:34pm)

(Sat 9:34pm) She’s pretty, I might ask her to dance.

(Sat 9:36pm) I’m not stupid.

(Sat 9:38pm) Sorry?

(Sat 9:40pm) I know what you’re doing. And it’s almost embarrassingly obvious.

(Sat 9:43pm) What? I can’t hear you over the sound of all these girls twerking towards me. (Sat 9:44pm) Which is as terrifying as it sounds.

(Sat 9:48pm) I’m not sure how you expect me to reply to that.

~

(Sat 9:55pm) Dude you have to help me I can’t get this girl off of me.

(Sat 9:56pm) Is she literally sat on top of your head as we speak?

(Sat 9:57pm) Being serious, you have to come

(Sat 10:00pm) Where are you? (Sat 10:05pm) Greg?

~

(Sat 11:13pm) Greg and I are stuck outside in the pissing rain, just under an hour away from either of our homes, with no car, a broken umbrella and a half eaten sodden pork pie each. How was your night?

(Sat 11:23pm) Shockingly, I’m not even surprised. Where did you get the pork pies?

(Sat 11:25pm) The Co-operative, the old lady serving us looked like that slug woman from Monsters Inc. Terrifying.

(Sat 11:27pm) Should I even ask why?

(Sat 11:33pm) Greg needed a pick-me-up after a semi-traumatic experience involving a very eager female. So pork pies it was.

(Sat 11:35pm) I see.

(Sat 11:39pm) Greg just told me to tell you that the pie is making him think of you. And yes, he phrased it as creepily as that. (Sat 11:44pm) Care to explain? I asked Greg and now he’s just chuckling at his pie.

(Sat 11:45pm) If he starts talking to it, then you can call emergency services.

(Sat 11:47pm) I’m all wet.

(Sat 11:50pm) That’s because it’s raining, John.

That’s because it’s raining, John.

(Sat 11:54pm) Make it stop.

(Sat 11:55pm) I can’t.

(Sat 11:58pm) But my pie.

(Sat 00:02pm) I don’t care about your pie.

(Sat 00:03pm) It’s wet too.

(Sat 00:05pm) Goodnight, you sodding idiot.

--------------------------------------------

Monday 3rd June

(Mon 5:43pm) Where’s Sherlock?

(Mon 5:47pm) He’s locked himself in his room again.

(Mon 5:50pm) How was he today?

(Mon 5:55pm)

Things were… bad. He won’t answer or open his door or accept any food I try and offer. I’m not sure what to do.

(Mon 5:57pm) He needs something interesting, a good crime scene to snoop around on. A distraction.

(Mon 6:02pm) I thought he had a distraction living in his mobile?

(Mon 6:05pm) Maybe the novelty has finally worn off.

(Mon 6:10pm) You know if you’re right, we’re going to have to do something. We can’t afford to have him relapse.

(Mon 6:12pm) What are you suggesting?

(Mon 6:14pm) That we intervene. (Mon 6:15pm) For the purpose of his health and well-being of course. If Sherlock needs a distraction to keep him away from the drugs, then a distraction we will give him.

--------------------------------------------

Wednesday 5th June

(Wed 3:23pm) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Hey, John. It’s Greg.”

“Oh hey, everything all right? Have you fully recovered from Saturday night?”

“Yeah--”

“I still can’t believe you threw that pork pie at that cab.”

“Ha! Yeah, me neither. I was just ringing to see if you wanted to meet up again? I kind of want to talk about Sherlock. And you.”

“Sure, I can do that. Uh, what about me and Sherlock?”

“We think that Sherlock could be on the edge of a relapse. Things aren’t going exactly great for him at the moment; you know what I told you about his father getting arrested and then having it taken out on him by his parents?”

“Yes.”

“It’s gotten worse. Mycroft and I don’t want to risk things going back to how they were because really, it was awful, and he’s been doing well.”

“This is steering towards ‘when are you two going to get your act together and meet already’ territory.”

“Mycroft and I have decided that we need to bump up his medication. Which happens to be--”

“Me. Right?”

“Right.”

“I don’t know, he seems pretty happy keeping things the way they are.”

“But are you?”

“I want Sherlock to want to meet me.”

“Oh, he does want to. He just refuses to believe that you actually like him.”

“…So he thinks that if I meet him--”

“That you’ll leave, yeah. It’s a trust issues thing.”

“Sounds more like a shitty self esteem thing.”

“That’s the sad truth; I guess it’s both.”

“I don’t think he’s going to change his mind though, Greg.”

“But you’re not there when I mention you to him. Face to face.”

“What do you mean?”

“His eyes.”

“…”

“I’ve never actually seen anyone else’s eyes literally light up before. Except for when I buy Mycroft an extra large sundae with a wafer.”

“Okay, we can talk about this. When and where did you want to meet up?”

“Remember we walked passed that restaurant called Angelo’s? I was thinking you could see me

there around seven o’clock on Friday?”

“Uh, I should probably mention that I don’t--”

“Don’t worry about it, the cost has been dealt with, you just need to turn up.”

“I don’t know, I’m not…”

“I insist. So I’ll see you then?”

“Sure, I guess. I’ll see you. Thanks.”

~~Disconnected~~

~

(Wed 4:18pm) ~~Incoming Call~~

“What do you want?”

“It’s always nice to hear your friendly voice.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“I was just thinking how it’s been a while since we had a good, long chat.”

“We had one the other day.”

“Well, I fancy another one.”

“I’m busy at the moment.”

“That’s fine, that’s why I was going to ask if you wanted to get dinner at Angelo’s?”

“Sorry Greg, but you’re not really my type.”

“Actually, your type is exactly what I want to talk to you about.”

“Don’t you think we’ve talked about John enough?”

“Never.”

“You’re becoming repetitive.”

“Trust me, what I have to say to you at Angelo’s will be worth the cab drive. Probably 20 cab drives. All the cab drives.”

“Why can’t you say it now?”

“That is called ‘spoiling the surprise’. Besides the table is already booked.”

“Just give me a time and I’ll see if I can spare an hour out of my extremely busy schedule.”

“This Friday at seven.”

“Wouldn’t that clash with one of yours and Mycroft’s little dates?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do.”

“Can you just give me a definite answer?”

“I’ll be there.”

~~Disconnected~~

--------------------------------------------

Thursday 6th June

(Thurs 3:12pm) How about today?

(Thurs 3:14pm) He still hasn’t eaten and he looks the most tired I’ve ever seen him. I’ve noticed how he’s taken to secluding himself to the garden shed. I don’t know how mother can act so normal around the house. Clearly her and father’s actions are doing more damage than they realise.

(Thurs 3:18pm) Fingers crossed for tomorrow then, right?

(Thurs 3:20pm) If he ever leaves his room.

--------------------------------------------

Friday 7th June

(Fri 2:02pm) I’m having dinner at Angelo’s tonight, do you think I should wear the suit?

(Fri 2:11pm) Is it another date?

(Fri 2:13pm) You could say that.

(Fri 2:16pm) But do you want to impress them?

(Fri 2:18pm) Yeah, I think I do.

(Fri 2:22pm) Then I say go for the suit and tie, you look precious in it.

(Fri 2:24pm) Thanks Molls.

(Fri 2:27pm) Who’s the lucky girl?

(Fri 2:35pm) Now that would be telling.

~

(Fri 7:17pm) Greg? I think there is someone missing.

(Fri 7:20pm) What?

(Fri 7:24pm) I’m sat twiddling my thumbs in the middle of Angelo’s, asking you, what the hell is going on?

(Fri 7:27pm) Shit. Sherlock was supposed to turn up.

(Fri 7:30pm) Yeah, I’d guessed that bit.

(Fri 7:32pm) How’d you know?

(Fri 7:34pm) Dinner at Angelo’s, Sherlock’s getting worse, I’m his medication? Just a splatter of common sense. (Fri 7:36pm) This is so embarrassing.

(Fri 7:38pm) I just tried ringing him but he won’t answer me.

(Fri 7:40pm) The waiter came and put a candle on the table. This isn’t funny, it’s 7:40.

(Fri 7:44pm) I don’t understand what he’s doing.

~

(Fri 8:10pm) Is Sherlock secretly a USB stick?

(Fri 8:12pm) What are you talking about?

(Fri 8:14pm) I’ve just come back from the toilet and there’s a USB stick on the other side of the table. How worried should I be?

(Fri 8:16pm) Does it look like it’s about to self-destruct?

(Fri 8:19pm) I’m no expert but… no.

(Fri 8:23pm) My guess is Sherlock.

(Fri 8:25pm) So is mine (Fri 8:27pm) …I don’t know how I feel about this. (Fri 8:27pm) Do you know what could be on it?

(Fri 8:30pm) No clue, sorry mate.

~

(Fri 9:02pm) I’m phoning him.

~

(Fri 9:24pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“You stood me up.”

“Technically, I stood Greg up.”

“You saw me inside, sat at that table and you fucking waited until I had gone to the toilet to come inside and leave this… this… whatever the fuck it’s supposed to be, on the table.”

“It wasn’t because I didn’t wa--“

“You are such an asshole, you know I waited for over an hour for you?”

“For Greg.”

“For you.”

“I don’t believe--”

“You think I hadn’t caught on to what those two had planned? I’m not an idiot.”

“Well neither am I!”

“So you knew it was us having dinner together, you knew before you even showed up, but you still didn’t come inside. Why? What was the fucking point?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Of course you do, did you just want to see me sat there? Looking pathetic and bored?”

“I’m not… It’s not that--“

“Then what?”

“…I saw you through that window for the first time John. The first time. And... I saw you were wearing that suit, and you were fixing your tie. And when you looked up and I saw your face everything just hit me all at once. It felt like you’d punched me in the stomach just by sitting in that chair, fiddling with the saltshaker and looking guilty because there wasn’t a single penny in your pocket. Just from the window, I could see you’d showered and tried to make your hair look deliberately messy and you’d tried so hard and seemed so… so ready. Which is exactly what I’m not. I don’t want to be another Ella. I couldn’t walk inside and become something real in your life. Because no matter how hard I’ve tried to resist it over these past eight months, you’ve become something I can’t see myself walking away from. Which is why I couldn’t walk through that door, towards you. I couldn’t.”

“…”

“…”

“I--“

~~Disconnected~~

June 10th Chapter Summary

You're like the rock in the storm.

Chapter Notes

Holy shit guys. The month-long hiatus is over! I just got my laptop back long enough to upload this. Thank you so much for sticking around. And another huge thanks to Katzedecimal, again. I don't think this chapter would be up right now without her.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Mon 10th June

(Mon 9:12am) How was the ‘date’? Or whatever it was. (Mon 9:14am) Did she like your suit? ~

(Mon 11:23am) Aren’t you coming in today? (Mon 11:29am) John? Are you ill? (Mon 11:34am) Shall I come round later with soup anyway? (Mon 11:39am) What am I saying, it’s 25 degrees out, you don’t want soup. How about a nice pear salad instead? ~

(Mon 2:02pm) Talk to me? (Mon 2:10pm) …Is it because you ordered the ribs again?

~

(Mon 3:10pm) Are you going to explain? (Mon 3:25pm) Sherlock, come on. (Mon 3:40pm) I can’t get anything out of either of you. What the ever loving fuck happened?

~

(Mon 4:56pm) Did you see him? (Mon 5:00pm) You saw him didn’t you. (Mon 5:12pm) Is that it? Simply the sight of him has left you incapable of moving your thumbs to type me a simple ‘piss off’? (Mon 5:28pm) How romantic.

~

(Mon 7:02pm) I’m dying here. (Mon 7:13pm) You two are digging my early grave with this.

------------------------------------------

Tuesday 11th June

(Tues 9:21am) What time did he get home?

(Tues 9:37am) I have no idea. I just saw his coffee mug on the kitchen side this morning.

(Tues 9:40am) Are you worried?

(Tues 9:45am) No. He likes to isolate himself when he needs to really think. His mind is just very occupied. Therefore he has no time for anything else.

(Tues 9:49am) …That’s not worrying?

(Tues 9:53am) I’ve gone for days without seeing him before. He’s fine.

(Tues 9:55am) If you say so.

~

Wednesday 12th June

(Wed 3:21pm) Hey, you coming in tomorrow?

(Wed 3:33pm) I don’t know, I’ve been feeling kind of ggggghhhhjfffffdkkkkjhjjjjjjj lately.

(Wed 3:40pm) That’s an interesting spectrum of emotions.

(Wed 3:45pm) But then on other days it’s more like aaabbbbnnnnnnnnhhhfffffffsssss.

(Wed 3:46pm) Is that better or worse?

(Wed 3:50pm) Worse.

(Wed 3:55pm) I still think you should phone him.

(Wed 3:59pm) And say what? It’ll be too awkward. I’m almost certain he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

(Wed 4:03pm) You know that’s not true, you told me he basically poured his heart out to you.

(Wed 4:04pm) And then he cut me off and hasn’t said anything since.

(Wed 4:07pm) Poor thing’s probably just embarrassed.

(Wed 4:09pm) Poor thing? You have met him, right?

(Wed 4:13pm) Oh! That reminds me, he came in to Speedy’s again the other day. He gave me a USB stick, just like yours.

(Wed 4:16pm) And it had all the same stuff on it?

(Wed 4:18pm) Yeah, pretty much. Which was nice.

(Wed 4:20pm) Why did he give you one?

(Wed 4:24pm) To say thank you I think. I answered some questions about that pet killer that he’d been investigating. Turns out I went to school with him.

(Wed 4:27pm) Then I expect you to get 100% on the Chemistry exam on Monday…

(Wed 4:30pm) Ditto.

------------------------------------------

Friday 14th June

(Fri 1:02pm) Have you looked at what’s on the USB stick yet?

(Fri 1:04pm) Yes. (Fri 1:08pm) I thought it would be something like a powerpoint analysing in detail why we should stop texting and why we’re better off not as friends, seeing as he waited until I’d gone to the men’s room before walking into Angelo’s.

(Fri 1:09pm) And what was it?

(Fri 1:13pm) This is kind of embarrassing. (Fri 1:17pm) I don’t like to admit it, but I’ve been having trouble with my grades in college. I just scraped by with my coursework and I had a few exam disasters. Sherlock knows this somehow and he made up all these folders full of studying techniques.

(Fri 1:18pm) Just… studying techniques?

(Fri 1:23pm) It sounds really boring, I know, but it’s stuff I’ve never even heard of before. Like the Roman Room, how memory actually works, the Pomodoro technique, mind tools, software and this thing called the Memory Palace.

(Fri 1:25pm) That last one sounds oddly familiar.

(Fri 1:27pm) It’s insane, but it’s really saved my skin. I probably owe my whole future career to this little stick. To him.

(Fri 1:31pm) And that’s all that was on there?

(Fri 1:32pm) Well, no. There were some audio files too. (Fri 1:34pm) Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I think Sherlock played his violin. (Fri 1:35pm) For me. (Fri 1:36pm) To study to, I mean.

(Fri 1:36pm) Well, that’s not what I was expecting.

(Fri 1:36pm)

What did you think would be on it?

(Fri 1:37pm) I don’t know… X Factor audition tape?

(Fri 1:40pm) Christ, can you imagine? “Hello, my name is Sherlock Holmes and I’m going to be singing a traditional, ancient ballad. If you don’t like it then you’re wrong.”

(Fri 1:42pm) [Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira starts playing]

~

(Fri 3:42pm) Thanks man, I laughed so hard I got my phone confiscated in class.

(Fri 3:45pm) Not my fault! Blame Sherlock’s hidden love for Latin Pop. (Fri 3:46pm) To be honest, he’s a diva in person too.

(Fri 3:49pm) Why am I not surprised.

------------------------------------------

Thursday 20th June

(Thurs 9:24pm)

(Thurs 9:31pm)

(Thurs 9:44pm) I think you have the wrong number

(Thurs 9:52pm)

(Thurs 10:01pm) I see what you’re doing. (Thurs 10:04pm) Okay no I don’t.

(Thurs 10:08pm) I was thinking about how you told me you didn’t want to be another Ella

(Thurs 10:15pm) Ah, my secret’s out. I actually want to be a horse, and I want it to be pictures of me that you keep saved on your phone (Thurs 10:16pm) That was a joke by the way.

(Thurs 10:17pm) I’ve been trying for the past half an hour to formulate the perfect sentence to convey how you're the exact opposite of Ella.

(Thurs 10:20pm) But we’re not opposites. We both clearly have strange obsessions that you do not relate to, nor care about.

(Thurs 10 22pm) Wrong. If it had been you raging on about horses all night it would have been different.

(Thurs 10:34pm) ~~Incoming Call~~

“What?”

“Ignore me and I’ll phone you.”

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just avoiding…”

“Avoiding what? Talking? You don’t want to talk?”

“I’d--”

“Well it’s tough.”

“...”

“…”

“Why is it different?”

“Why is what different?”

“Me talking about horses over Ella. It’s the same tiresome subject.”

“I don’t… I don’t know, because Ella isn’t you?”

“So what you’re saying is that you would gladly- no, happily, look though every horse picture known to mankind if I was the one showing them to you? How disgustingly soppy.”

“I think you’re missing something. You know why I texted you in that restaurant – you were on my mind that whole night. And it does sounds soppy. Disgustingly so. But all I could imagine was sitting across from you instead of her, talking about homicide and the effects of certain poisonous gases and how long it takes for someone to bleed to death from a single shot in the thigh; how Mycroft pissed you off again and ruined your latest experiment and how the couple next to us are doomed for disaster, and you could tell this solely from the way his finger twitched when she took his hand from over the table. I would have looked at countless crime photos on your phone and it does sound soppy - disgustingly so - but your obsessions are different to Ella’s because she’s mind-numbingly dull and you’re endlessly captivating. You could talk to me about… microwaves or- or stock prices or frozen peaches and you’d still have my undivided attention because… because your voice reminds me of that time in the middle of the night, when I knew that I could ring the prick who lives in my phone and he’d make the pain of knowing that my uncle was dying of liver cancer go away for a few minutes. And you know what else? I would have ordered the ribs and not given a single flying fuck. This is how you’re different, this is how you could never be anything like Ella.”

“…”

“I just… I’m sorry. I needed you to know.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“Fuck. Fuck. Buggering shit.”

“…”

“…”

“And tits?”

“…”

“Outbursts like that are a dangerous, dangerous, thing.”

“Not another Feelings Rant, please.”

“You realise things you never knew before.”

“Like…?”

“The real reason you find my voice comforting.”

“I never said--”

“You didn’t need to.”

“…Yes. Alright. You’re… fuck. However you want to phrase it. You’re like the rock in the storm. You don’t necessarily say comforting things, but you do comforting things. Your logic, reasoning and the fact that if I went missing you’d be the first to notice I was gone; that’s comforting.”

“…”

“God, how do you do this?”

“Do what?”

“Turn me inside out.”

“…”

“Stop smiling.”

“I wasn’t smiling.”

“Yes you were.”

“You’re hearing things.”

“You’re still smiling.”

“…”

“…”

“I should go.”

“Do you have to?”

“What else is there to say?”

“I don’t know, tell me what your curtains look like.”

“My curtains…?”

“And make it sound menacing.”

“Oh God, John Watson.”

“Yes?”

“…They’re navy blue with grey stitching, made from cotton. They’re currently drawn closed. There are two stains from when previous experiments have gotten a little too excited; one on the top left and one on the middle right. I also set the bottom left corner of the left curtain on fire when I was nine.”

“I am enlightened.”

“Happy?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

~~Disconnected~~

(Thurs 11:00pm) Don’t you want to hear about my curtains? (Thurs 11:14pm) I’m hurt.

------------------------------------------

Saturday 22nd June

(Sat 10:23am) Enjoying your Saturday?

(Sat 10:25am) Immensely.

(Sat 10:29am) No no, your day is supposed to be average, and then I text you and THEN it becomes immensely enjoyable. Don’t they teach you this stuff? Let’s do another take.

(Sat 10:30am) That doesn’t apply when there’s finally something fun going on.

(Sat 10:32am) Oh? Where are you?

(Sat 10:35am)

(Sat 10:37am) Looks like a prime spot for a double homicide.

(Sat 10:37am) Triple.

(Sat 10:38am) Feeling ambitious?

(Sat 10:41am) I’m investigating, you plum head.

(Sat 10:43am) Plum… head? (Sat 10:44am) PLUM HEAD?

(Sat 10:45am) Oh no.

(Sat 10:46am) Oh my God.

(Sat 10:46am) Don’t.

(Sat 10:46am) That’s so cute.

(Sat 10:47am) No.

(Sat 10:48am) That wasn’t even a typo.

(Sat 10:48am) Yes it was.

(Sat 10:48am) You were just trying to be endearing.

(Sat 10:50am) Can we change the subject?

(Sat 10:50am) Plums.

(Sat 10:51am) How about that triple homicide?

(Sat 10:53am) That place is the epitome of ‘haunted cabin in the woods.’

(Sat 10:55am) Correction: haunted cabin in the woods inhabited with overly friendly ducklings. (Sat 10:55am) And one rabid, bad-tempered goose.

(Sat 10:56am) You should take it in for questioning.

(Sat 10:57am) The goose?

(Sat 10:59am) Everyone’s a suspect.

(Sat 11:00am) Can’t argue there.

(Sat 11:04am) How on earth are you even allowed on these crime scenes? You’re 17 for Christ’s sake.

(Sat 11:08am) The team adored my aunt, remember? They know me, they know what I can offer them and they know I’ll do it for free.

(Sat 11:10am) I still can’t believe they let you just waltz around the scene.

(Sat 11:15am) Alright, so a certain amount of sneaking and wheedling is sometimes involved, but how else am I

supposed to get a good look at the evidence?

(Sat 11:18am) You don’t need evidence, I can deduce the whole scene for you from this coffee shop chair.

(Sat 11:18am) Oh? It seems I’ve underestimated you.

(Sat 11:22am) From the weight of my phone and the speed at which you’re replying, I can confidently deduce that it was Professor Plum in the haunted bathroom with the feral goose.

(Sat 11:23am) And we’re back to plums.

(Sat 11:23am) Am I right or am I right?

(Sat 11:25am) You’re completely wrong. At the moment I’m 74% sure that it was the angry widow in the living room with the kitchen knife.

(Sat 11:27am) There should be a plum in there somewhere.

(Sat 11:30am) Ah yes, my mistake. She murdered her dead husband’s children with a single ripe plum, stolen from the… elderly, demented farmer?

(Sat 11:34am) Who mistook the goose to be his late wife and fed it a roast goose dinner. And now it’s raging a war against the world to rid the land of handsome future detectives.

(Sat 11:36am) With plums?

(Sat 11:36am) With plums.

(Sat 11:38am) That explains why the goose keeps hovering near me. I’ll inform the team.

(Sat 11:43am) We just solved a murder case in 7 minutes with me sat back on my arse, sipping a decaf. Let’s have dinner.

(Sat 11:45am) Where did dinner come from?

(Sat 11:46am) My head said no but my fingers said fuck it.

(Sat 11:48am) As you should have been able to tell from the picture I sent you, I’m not currently in London.

(Sat 11:50am) That’s fine. I love a nice countryside pub meal. They’ll probably serve us goose if we ask them.

(Sat 11:53am) Stop kidding around, you have a job and exam work to worry about, which by the way, shouldn’t you be occupied with right now?

(Sat 11:54am) I get the hint.

(Sat 11:55am) I’m not saying never.

(Sat 11:59am) When though? After I’ve joined the army and it’s too late? When I’m laying in a hospital bed with a bullet lodged in my chest? Then? Is that the right time for you? Because God knows I have to let my life revolve around you and your stubborn arse.

(Sat 12:03pm) I’m sorry. (Sat 12:05pm) I wish I could take that back. I didn’t mean to say that.

(Sat 12:07pm) But you did.

~

(Sat 1:03pm) How’s the Exeter countryside? Befriended any sheep yet?

(Sat 1:08pm) Phone Piecroft, tell him there’s a feral goose coming for him with a death wish.

(Sat 1:12pm) A feral goose is no match against your brother, he’d just eat it. I see your sense of humour has returned though, John left you in a good mood then?

(Sat 1:15pm) John left me in the same mood he frequently leaves me in; questioning my own existence and severely concerned for England’s future medical patients.

(Sat 1:18pm) He seems like doctor material to me, why are you concerned about that?

(Sat 1:20pm) He’s bizarre, bewildering and absolutely mad.

(Sat 1:22pm) But you love it.

(Sat 1:22pm) I don’t.

(Sat 1:23pm) You do.

(Sat 1:23pm) Yes, I do.

Chapter End Notes

If you're curious about what's on John's USB stick, make sure you check out the comments in Katzedecimal's work A Slip Of The Finger - Chapter 20 for all the links.

June 23rd Chapter Summary

Shh, hold my cranberry juice.

Chapter Notes

"THE RETURN OF THE CRANBERRIES?" I hear you cry. Sorry about the wait, again. Except I'm not sorry at all hehehehee *runs away*

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Sunday 23rd June

(Sun 9:34am) Wanna see what I woke up to?

(Sun 9:41am) I don’t know, do I?

(Sun 9:42am) Yes.

(Sun 9:42am) What are those?

(Sun 9:43am) Macaroons

(Sun 9:44am) It’s a sign, the French are telling you something.

(Sun 9:49am) My parents were at a party last night and they brought back some buffet food because of, you know. Still pretty weird though. Anyway I thought macaroons were Italian?

(Sun 9:49am) It hardly matters.

(Sun 9:52am) Both are famous for their exquisite moustaches.

(Sun 9:53am) Mycroft tried to grow a moustache once.

(Sun 9:55am)

I bet I could rock a moustache.

(Sun 9:58am) The last thing I want is for you to remind me of Mycroft.

(Sun 10:09am) Here, I tried it out. How do I look?

(Sun 10:10am) You put a moustache on a macaroon.

(Sun 10:13am) No. No I didn’t. That’s me. (Sun 10:15am) I sent you a selfie, you don’t like it?

(Sun 10:16am) You’re a macaroon now?

(Sun 10:17am) I find that offensive.

(Sun 10:20am) Apologies… you look slim, is it the rugby?

(Sun 10:22am) Yes, the rugby, thank you for noticing. No one ever does.

(Sun 10:24am) Okay, this is silly, I’m not going to role-play with you.

(Sun 10:29am) MURDER!

(Sun 10:31am) Your moustache is askew.

Your moustache is askew.

(Sun 10:33am) It’s my distraught face. Where were you exactly 4 minutes ago?

(Sun 10:36am) For someone who once claimed to be an uncreative person, you have successfully captured me.

(Sun 10:42am) Cannibalism.

(Sun 10:44am) And… now I’m just worried.

(Sun 10:45am) Boredom does things to me.

(Sun 10:46am) Really? I wouldn’t have guessed.

(Sun 10:49am) Fresh air, I need fresh air. I’m going for a run.

(Sun 10:51am) A run?

(Sun 10:52am) A jog. (Sun 10:54am) A brisk walk? (Sun 10:55am) I’m going out for a murderous stride, talk to you later. ~

(Sun 1:32pm) How’s John?

(Sun 1:39pm) Very green, fashioning a moustache. Currently committing cannibalism.

(Sun 1:42pm) Never mind.

-------------------------------------------

Tuesday 25th June

(Tues 7:01am) Good morning sunshine. (Tues 7:04am) I interrupt your terribly dull morning to broadcast to you this breaking news.

(Tues 7:06am) You finally had the intercourse?

(Tues 7:08am) Of course, yes, the intercourse. The only intercourse in the world, and I had it. (Tues 7:10am) Maybe I should have saved it.

(Tues 7:12am) Just tell me what put you in a good enough mood to call me ‘sunshine’, which you’re lucky I ignored.

(Tues 7:13am) I just made the best pancake of my life.

(Tues 7:15am) Look at it, it’s like a golden halo of forgiveness and deliciousness.

(Tues 7:16am) You woke me up for a pancake.

(Tues 7:19am) All my others have either burned, caught on fire or are in discarded remains around my kitchen. You’re not impressed?

(Tues 7:19am) It’s not even a pancake, it’s a crepe.

(Tues 7:20am) We call them pancakes.

(Tues 7:20am) You’re wrong. It’s a crepe. Pancakes are thicker.

(Tues 7:20am)

(Tues 7:21am)

(Tues 7:21am)

(Tues 7:22am) Stop it.

(Tues 7:22am)

(Tues 7:23am) What’s with all the pictures of food recently?

(Tues 7:25am) They’re like a nice little insight on my life. (Tues 7:26am) I don’t send you pictures of me, but I do send you pictures of what I put inside myself. (Tues 7:26am) Which is the next best thing.

(Tues 7:27am) That’s debatable.

(Tues 7:29am) In a way, I’m showing you myself. You are what you eat, right?

(Tues 7:31am) So you’re a mixture of sandwiches, macaroons, crepes and… horses?

(Tues 7:33am) Nice horse meat scandal reference, but you forgot plums.

(Tues 7:34am) I didn’t forget.

(Tues 7:38am) I’m actually celebrating. I started my first day of college with a pancake, and I’m ending my last day with another one.

(Tues 7:40am) You’re saying you haven’t eaten a crepe in 2 years, for the sake of closure?

(Tues 7:42am) I’m more of a pastry kind of guy. (Tues 7:42am) And what? No congratulations?

(Tues 7:44am) Congratulations, enjoy your crepes.

(Tues 7:45am) I will enjoy my pancakes.

(Tues 7:45am) Crepes.

(Tues 7:45am) Pancakes.

(Tues 7:46am) … Crepes.

-------------------------------------------

Wednesday 26th June

(Wed 11:13am) Are you enjoying your lie-in as much as I am?

(Wed 11:16am) Mine involves a cup of tea and my oldies playlist, so I doubt it.

(Wed 11:19am) Do you have any plans today that don’t involve sleeping and listening to Billy Joel?

(Wed 11:21am) Nope, what about you?

(Wed 11:23am) I guess I can see how much I can annoy Sherlock before lunch.

(Wed 11:25am) It always involves Sherlock.

(Wed 11:27am) Shh, you.

~

(Wed 11:42am) Pancakes.

(Wed 11:47am) Crepes.

(Wed 11:49am) Pancakes.

(Wed 11:50am) Crepes.

(Wed 11:51am) Pancakes.

~

(Thurs 00:25am) Crepes.

-------------------------------------------

Friday 28th June

(Fri 9:25pm) The Leaver’s Dance sucks, just so you know. There needs to be some muffled screaming in the distance or maybe a murder to spice it up a bit.

(Fri 9:28pm) I’m a bad influence on your social life.

(Fri 9:29pm) Well…

(Fri 9:31pm) You’re stood in a corner, holding a cup of cranberry juice aren’t you?

(Fri 9:34pm) It’s more entertaining than it sounds, my old mates are shit-faced and the dancing is YouTube worthy.

(Fri 9:35pm) You’ve finally moved on?

(Fri 9:38pm) Well, they weren’t great when I was struggling with my grades. Their best advice was to go out and drink away my problems. (Fri 9:40pm) But you gave me that USB stick.

(Fri 9:42pm) I forgot about that.

(Fri 9:43pm) I don’t think I ever thanked you for it, you saved my skin with these last few exams.

(Fri 9:47pm) It’s nothing. It’s basic stuff that everyone should know. I don’t understand why more people can’t just use the brains they were given.

(Fri 9:48pm) Thanks anyway.

(Fri 9:53pm) Maybe if you spill some cranberry juice on the floor and position a cake knife just right, it’ll be enough to spark some amusement.

(Fri 9:55pm) And this is why I like you better.

(Fri 9:56pm) Better than?

(Fri 9:58pm) The idiots across the room from me who are dancing to Bump And Grind. And they’re really getting into it. (Fri 10:00pm) You’ll be pleased to hear that Hips Don’t Lie just came on.

(Fri 10:02pm) Why would that please me?

(Fri 10:05pm) Ask Greg.

(Fri 10:05pm) Perfect.

(Fri 10:07pm) I’ll go and dance in your honour.

(Fri 10:08pm) I don’t understand.

(Fri 10:08pm) Shh, hold my cranberry juice.

-------------------------------------------

Sunday 30th June

(Sun 1:04pm) Do you want to see the world’s longest red sofa?

(Sun 1:08pm) Only if my parents are sat on it and it’s about to be pushed off the world’s tallest cliff.

(Sun 1:10pm) I’ll show it to you anyway. (Sun 1:11pm)

(Sun 1:11pm) Pointless.

(Sun 1:14pm) Well, I was just sat on it and we all did the Mexican wave and it was a beautiful moment of peace amongst humanity. (Sun 1:16pm) It’s in Kingston.

(Sun 1:22pm) I can’t really talk about the impossibility of world peace and elongated furniture right now.

(Sun 1:23pm) What’s up?

(Sun 1:25pm) Greg’s father has just died.

(Sun 1:28pm) Are you serious?

(Sun 1:30pm) Don’t you dare fucking pull my leg on this. (Sun 1:39pm) Answer me. (Sun 1:48pm) Sherlock I’m going to lose it.

(Sun 1:50pm) Car crash. This morning. Reckless driving. That’s all I know, my parents are being particularly difficult about me leaving the house to find out any more. (Sun 1:51pm) Hence the comment about the cliff. (Sun 2:04pm) John? (Sun 2:08pm) I hope I didn’t dampen your mood too much. Sometimes it’s hard to tell which people will care. (Sun 2:12pm) You never met him, after all. (Sun 2:13pm) Did you?

(Sun 2:17pm) He gave me a lift home once after rugby practice. God, I feel fucking terrible.

(Sun 2:21pm) Still, encountering him only once would not have been sufficient for you to form any kind of emotional attachment. You probably only saw the back of his head and half of his face throughout the journey.

(Sun 2:22pm) Shut up.

(Sun 2:24pm) Oh come on, you know I’m right. There’s no reason for you to be upset.

(Sun 2:28pm) Fucking Hell. It’s called empathy, Sherlock. Imagine what Greg is going through right now. (Sun 2:30pm) And what about you? Did you not have any emotional attachment to him?

(Sun 2:31pm) I don’t even have an emotional attachment to my own father.

(Sun 2:33pm) But he was your best friend’s dad! You don’t even feel anything?

(Sun 2:34pm) Greg is not my best friend. Other than that, what you said is true and irrelevant.

(Sun 2:37pm) Should I phone Greg? (Sun 2:40pm) I should phone him, see how he’s doing. (Sun 2:41pm) But is that the wrong thing to do? He might need to be alone, or with family. (Sun 2:43pm) We’re not even that close. (Sun 2:46pm) I shouldn’t phone, no. (Sun 2:48pm) But not doing anything feels wrong. (Sun 2:50pm) Texting him feels so half-hearted.

(Sun 2:51pm) John, for the love of peace and quiet, take your senseless, blabbering concern elsewhere. Molly, for example.

(Sun 2:55pm) I’ve had enough of you anyway.

(Sun 2:57pm) Join the club. They’re gathered in my living room.

~

(Sun 5:36pm) Do you have an emotional attachment to me?

~

(Sun 6:12pm) John? (Sun 6:15pm) Forget I asked. It was stupid. (Sun 6:22pm) What are you even trying to say in ignoring me?

~

(Sun 7:19pm) Crepes.

~

(Sun 8:12pm) Would you like my company? (Sun 8:29pm) Greg, I very much hate to insist on an answer given the circumstances, but you mean rather a lot to me. I’d like to know that you’re doing okay.

(Sun 8:34pm) You can come over. (Sun 8:37pm) No, actually. Let’s go out.

(Sun 8:40pm) Is that appropriate at the moment?

(Sun 8:42pm) No, probably not. But I need to get away from all these devastated faces.

(Sun 8:44pm) Don’t you think staying with your family would be wiser?

(Sun 8:45pm) And why would I think that?

(Sun 8:44pm) I understand that you’re angry, but family is all we have in the end.

(Sun 8:46pm) Yeah, that’s exactly what I need to hear right now. Congrats, I still can’t look my mum in the eye.

(Sun 8:44pm) I’m not certain that everything has totally sunk in for you.

(Sun 8:53pm) Oh shut up. Do you want me to cry on your shoulder? Is that it? Shall we find a deserted park and you can rock me in your arms on a bench until your suit is soaking wet and your arms are cramped and stiff?

(Sun 8:55pm) I would do that, if you needed me to.

(Sun 9:01pm) I’ll see you in fifteen.

July 1st Chapter Summary

Nothing's ever the right time with us.

Chapter Notes

This is the beastliest of all the beastly chapters; enjoy. It is also dedicated to my cousin, Maisie, who sat beside me and NAGGED me to write. Constantly. So I owe it to her. *clinks glass*

John : Sherlock : Greg : Molly : Mycroft

Monday 1st July

“This is Greg, I can’t come to the phone right now so leave a message and I’ll get back to you soon as I can.”

“Hey Greg, I heard about what happened. I just wanted to say that I’m really, really sor— no fuck, ugh--”

---------------------------------------------

Wednesday 24th July

“This is Greg, I can’t come to the phone right now so leave a message and I’ll get back to you soon as I can.”

“It’s John, hey. It’s been over a week. I was just wondering if you were doing all right. Hope you are. You don’t have to ring back but, I… just… I don’t know. Like I said, hope you’re well.”

---------------------------------------------

Sunday 4th August

(Sun 4:12pm) Have you seen Greg at all since what happened? He’s not phoned me back in a month, literally.

(Sun 4:15pm) No, but I’m sure Mycroft would be able to tell you more than you’d want to know. He is constantly with him.

(Sun 4:19pm) How would you know that without following your brother about?

(Sun 4:24pm) I know my brother. And I know what he likes. (Wed 4:25pm) Or rather, who.

(Sun 4:27pm) Are you implying what I think you’re implying?

(Sun 4:29pm) Greg, understandably, is seeking comfort in his closest friend. My brother, however, is unknowingly being led on by this sudden rise in interest for each other’s company and it is really, really not something I want to become involved in. Especially as I know that Mycroft will only fall on his backside and there’ll be more doughnuts in this household than you can care to shake a stick at.

(Sun 4:34pm) Christ, this is all new to me.

(Sun 4:35pm) Don’t get involved, trust me. It’s painful for everyone.

(Sun 4:37pm) Because Greg doesn’t like him back?

(Sun 4:40pm) …Just don’t get involved.

---------------------------------------------

Saturday 17th August

(Sat 11:14pm) Do you like piña coladas? (Sat 11:15pm) And getting caught in the rain?

(Sat 11:17pm) Are you referring to your penis again?

(Sat 11:19pm) If we’re going to makes this marriage work, you’re going to have to get my 80s song references.

(Sat 11:20pm) Then I want a divorce.

(Sat 11:22pm) But Sherlock, I’m pregnant.

(Sat 11:23pm) …Biologically impossible.

(Sat 11:24pm)

[Pregnant noises]

(Sat 11:26pm) And what does being pregnant sound like?

(Sat 11:28pm) Like angry German shouting, daytime TV and crying.

(Sat 11:30pm) Are you sure you didn’t just list the noises you make during sex?

(Sat 11:33pm) And how would you know that I quote the Jeremy Kyle Show during sex, Mr. Holmes?

(Sat 11:34pm) You are an outrageous flirt.

(Sat 11:36pm) I’m smooth as lube.

(Sat 11:37pm) Oh god, stop. I’m leaving.

(Sat 11:38pm) You know, we’re talking electronically. I can follow you everywhere.

(Sat 11:40pm) Well, I just left the virtual coffee shop.

(Sat 11:42pm) We talk in a coffee shop in your mind? (Sat 11:43pm) Then you are an outrageous romantic.

(Sat 11:44pm)

Coffee shops are romantic? What’s so romantic about coffee?

(Sat 11:45pm) Everything.

(Sat 11:47pm) Those places are filled with middle aged women and crying babies.

(Sat 11:49pm) What are you trying to say about us?

(Sat 11:52pm) That you’re an insolent child and I’ve had three husbands.

(Sat 11:52pm) Wow. (Sat 11:53pm) I really hope Mycroft reads this.

(Sat 11:54pm) Remember, Mycroft is occupied with something far more important to him.

---------------------------------------------

Monday 26th August

(Mon 7:02pm) Went out with my family for an Italian, take a look at the dessert menu.

(Mon 7:06pm) Cheese with salary. (Mon 7:07pm) It’s so bad, they have to pay you to eat it.

(Mon 7:10pm) If only money were that easy.

(Mon 7:12pm) You’d really eat hairy cheese for the monkey?

(Mon 7:14pm) For a monkey? I don’t know what restaurant you’re thinking of that hands out monkeys willy nilly but you can sign me up.

(Mon 7:16pm) The keys on Mycroft’s phone are sticky and difficult to use, okay? There are sugar crystals stuck between the buttons.

(Mon 7:17pm) Is there anything you can’t blame on Mycroft’s sweet tooth?

(Mon 7:17pm) No.

(Mon 7:20pm) I’ve made up a USB stick by the way. Put it together over the weekend for you.

(Mon 7:21pm) You have?

(Mon 7:23pm) Yeah, thought I’d let you know. (Mon 7:25pm) I’ve drunk so much water tonight I’m surprised I haven’t drowned. I’m too full of fluids right now.

(Mon 7:26pm) When are you going to give it to me?

(Mon 7:27pm) Give what to you? My fluids? Bit early on, don’t you think?

(Mon 7:30pm) You always find an excuse to flirt.

(Mon 7:33pm) Funny how you instantly interpret talk of bodily fluids to be flirting but when I blatantly asked you to have dinner with me you brushed it off as me being silly.

(Mon 7:34pm) So you don’t plan to give me those fluids after all?

(Mon 7:35pm) I didn’t know you were the eager type.

(Mon 7:36pm) There’s a lot of things you don’t know.

(Mon 7:38pm) I love it when you play along.

(Mon 7:40pm) Playing is for children. I just conform to your ridiculous nature.

(Mon 7:42pm) I suppose I can see why you’d be so naïve, you’re yet to experience my full on flirt mode.

(Mon 7:43pm) So it’s an experience, is it?

(Mon 7:44pm) The John Watson Experience. (Mon 7:44pm) I like that.

(Mon 7:45pm) You would. (Mon 7:47pm) Wait, I am “yet” to experience it? How long have you been planning to seduce me?

(Mon 7:49pm) An embarrassingly long time.

(Mon 7:50pm) What have you put on the USB?

(Mon 7:52pm) You’ll find out at some point. Soon.

(Mon 7:53pm) I have to know.

(Mon 7:55pm) Tut tut, impatient.

(Mon 7:57pm)

Why can’t I have it now? Even tomorrow? Greg will pass it on.

(Mon 8:00pm) Because it’s not the right time.

(Mon 8:02pm) Nothing’s ever the right time with us.

(Mon 8:05pm) And that is our tragedy.

---------------------------------------------

Saturday 31st August

(Sat 4:05am) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Hello--?”

“Let’s have dinner.”

“…John--?”

“I really, really mean it. Don’t call me silly, or assume I’m kidding or something. Let’s go out. “

“It’s four in the morning, what the hell…”

“I didn’t mean right now.”

“You want to have this conversation now? At four o’ clock? Believe it or not, I do actually sleep.”

“What conversation? I thought this was just a yes or no deal. Me… asking you on a… date.”

“A date?”

“…”

“John fucking Watson is asking me on a date at four in the fucking morning.”

“It’s not like I haven’t tried before…”

“I can’t take you seriously.”

“Wha--? Why not? What is so unbelievable about what I’m trying to… to… initiate?”

“For God’s sake.”

“What?”

“A while back you said you’d had enough of me and now you’re doing that thing again where you propose we go out somewhere, like couples do. It’s… confusing.”

“I’m ‘doing that thing again’? Is this all a joke to you?”

“To be fair you’re one big walking joke, John. You talk about homicidal geese and then turn around and ask me to dinner like it’s nothing. What do you want me to think?”

“I… I can’t… I don’t— So all this time… you honestly haven’t believed that I am at all interested in you? Interested in doing things with you?”

“…”

“Oh, man.”

“Katy--?”

“Who gives a crap about Katy?”

“John. Do you--?”

“…”

“…Do you even like--?”

“…Guys?”

“Or have you just imagined me to be something of a dream date because you want to think that-you want to think--”

“…”

“That I’m good. For you.”

“You’ve asked me the question that I want to find the answer to by actually trying. And you won’t let me. The whole… gay… thing--”

“Because of Katy, I didn’t--”

“I know--”

“Are you…?”

“Kind of.”

“…”

“Almost?”

“But… not really…?”

“Sort of…”

“Yes?”

“…”

“No, then…?”

“Yes— I mean no, no it’s just you.”

“What?”

“You. It’s…”

“…”

“I love--”

“No--”

“You.”

“…”

“Um…”

“You…?”

“And the… the…”

“But… the snarky and annoying bits--?”

“…That come with you. Yeah. Even those too.”

“…”

“I don’t even fucking know what I am.”

“…”

“But… I guess you could say that from here on starts my dick-sucking descent into One Direction and designer pea-green cardigans.”

“…”

“That… That was a jo— never mind.”

“…”

“F-forget dinner, let’s not— let’s wait. Dinner… we can do later. Or, not at all. If you prefer. Okay? You still there?”

“... “

“Sherlock? You okay?”

“Okay.”

“….Okay. Good. I guess I’ll--”

“…”

“I’ll just…”

“…”

“Jesus, are you really not going to say it too? Oh fuck, no, I’m sor--”

“John--”

“I’m sorry. What’s wrong with me? Shit, I’m an arse. I’m the arse. I woke you up and bleeding well told you I love you and— no, I’m sorry, okay?”

~~Disconnected~~

---------------------------------------------

Sunday 1st September

(Sun 10:42am) ~~Incoming Call~~

“Hello?”

“Hey John.”

“Greg!”

“I’m sorry I never returned those calls back in July--”

“It’s fine, really, I totally understand. I missed you though, man. How’re you doing?”

“Honestly, I’m good. The funeral was tough but we’re all doing good. Or… better, anyway.”

“I’m glad to hear.”

“What about you? It’s been a couple months, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, well, I’m fine I guess. Me and Sherlock… It’s… I phoned him last night and probably said some things I shouldn’t have.”

“Bad things?”

“Depends on your viewpoint.”

“I wouldn’t worry, whatever it was. I know he’s nuts about you, even if he doesn’t express it like other people do. And he’d probably kill me for telling you that.”

“… Greg?”

“Yeah?”

“I have a quick favour to ask of you…”

---------------------------------------------

Friday 6th September

(Fri 11:35am) It’s time.

(Fri 11:36am) It’s time?

(Fri 11:36am) Time.

(Fri 11:37am) …For?

(Fri 11:38am) The USB.

(Fri 11:40am) Way to be pointlessly dramatic.

(Fri 11:43am) I hid it under the skull on your windowsill the other day. (Fri 11:44am) And you claim to see everything. (Fri 11:46am) And also, make sure you get started with it as soon as possible, you’ve got a deadline to meet.

(Fri 11:46am) A deadline?

(Fri 11:47am) Doctor’s orders.

~

(Fri 11:59am) Are you excited? :)

(Fri 12:03pm) Excited in an “I’m going to throw up” kind of way.

(Fri 12:04pm) But still excited?

(Fri 12:06pm) My nerves pretty much override everything else at the moment.

(Fri 12:10pm) Everything will be perfect, I know it will. Have you left yet?

(Fri 12:14pm) I’m walking to the station. Greg rang me and said that Sherlock has the USB so I should be expecting a text from him any minute.

(Fri 12:15pm) How come?

(Fri 12:17pm) It’s the first instruction. He texts me when he starts so I know roughly how long things should take.

(Fri 12:18pm) I think I’m excited enough for the both of us.

(Fri 12:26pm) I just got his text.

(Fri 12:29pm) And?

(Fri 12:34pm) “You brilliant, brilliant bastard.”

~

~~Incoming Call~~

“What is it Greg?”

“I wanted to— um, the USB? John didn’t tell me what was on it, so…”

“Well I’m about to enter the Costa where John used to work and complete the first thing on the list so now really isn’t the best time…”

“Wait, wait, there was a list of things? What things?”

“I don’t have time to explain--”

“Then just keep me on the phone while you do… whatever you have to… do. Otherwise I’m just going to explode from the curiosity.”

“…Fine. But you keep quiet until I tell you something. I won’t have you distracting me.”

“It’s not like he’s got you running around performing cardiovascular surgeries on random people in the street.”

“No, but you know. Coffee is as important to our John.”

“…Coffee?”

“Yes. Free coffee. That was the first thing. I’ve just been handed a complimentary coffee by a very sour Sally Donovan - You remember her? - And a slip of paper telling me the address for my next stop, in John’s handwriting, no doubt. He’s got the doctor’s scrawl down.”

“So, this whole thing is like, some sort of scavenger hunt?”

“Something to that respect, yes.”

“That romantic little shit! You’ve caught yourself a good one, you know, it’s like he knows how much you like puzzles and he’s organised all this on his last day just so you two ca--”

“What?”

“…What?”

“His last day?”

“…”

“Today is John’s last day? He’s…?

“…Leaving, today. For training. He didn’t tell you?”

“…”

“Oh, shit. Was I not supposed to tell you that? I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that. Oh, cock broccoli. I fucked up. Can we erase the past twenty seconds?”

“It’s today, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

“I’m going to Speedy’s.”

“That’s the next stop?”

“No, I just need to see someone…”

~

(Fri 1:20pm) I’ve just seen Sherlock, he came flying in and didn’t even ask to come behind the counter, him and Mrs H went out the back to talk. Is this one of the stops? Because I don’t have anything to give him…

(Fri 1:22pm) No, he’s not meant to be at Speedy’s.

(Fri 1:25pm) Then what’s he doing?

(Fri 1:27pm) You tell me…

(Fri 1:28pm) Is this going to mess up the timings?

(Fri 1:30pm) If it does, I’m going to need therapy.

~

(Fri 2:02pm) ~~Outgoing Call~~

“I’m in the next stop. It’s the pet shop, Neville’s one.”

“And you know this because?”

“The directions were written on my coffee cup. ‘Ten paces to the right, left turn, sprint for twentytwo seconds, cross the road with the cup balanced on your head, turn left...’”

“Oh my God, and you actually did it?”

“I humoured him.”

“John has really gone all out with this thing, hasn’t he? And he told me none of it, the sneaky thing.”

“I think these places all have something to do with us.”

“But you’ve never met, so how can you two have places and shops that are significant to the both of you?”

“John’s found a way, I’m sure.”

“…What does the pet shop have to do with it then? Does he have some strange dog leash fetish-?”

“Hedgehogs.”

~

22 minutes later

“Subway. The pet shop assistant led me to Subway.”

“The sandwich chain?”

“The sandwich chain.”

“How very John.”

“It’s almost painfully John. It also smells like feet in here.”

“Come on then, what’s the next clue?”

“I’ve just been handed a sandwich roll. No filling, nothing. Just… bread.”

“…Odd. And you have to figure out what to do with it?”

“It appears so.”

“I’m rather enjoying this.”

“So am I, strangely.”

“I’m not surprised, this is the most fun you can have without a dead body...”

~

~~Outgoing Call~~

“Hello, Sherlock, how are we doing?”

“I hate to admit that I’m enjoying myself when the puzzles are this easy.”

“You’re enjoying yourself, that was the point. Where are you up to?”

“I’m walking by the lake in the park next to the Subway, like the person who gave me this lump of bread hinted at, which, by the way, I’m hoping you don’t expect me to eat.”

“Nope, not for eating. You say you’re by the lake? Look around, genius.”

“There’s an old man with an ice-cream.”

“Fucking hell. Look again.”

“And I see ducks and… there are a few ge--”

“…”

“Really?”

“I wanted to get our old feral goose back, for old times sake. But he was unreachable, being in prison and all. So I figured these park geese would do.”

“Would do for what, exactly?”

“Geese get hungry.”

“I’m not feeding the geese. Ducks are one thing, but geese?”

“You already have the bread in your hands, why not? If you don’t, the lady on the bench won’t tell you the address for the next place.”

“This wasn’t on the list.”

“The list said to sit back and enjoy something simple, right?”

“Geese are pretty vicious. I thought it’d be something like… leisurely flicking through a graphic crime novel.”

“Where’s the adventure in that?”

“I feel ridiculous.”

“No one cares.”

“Geese don’t even eat bread.”

“Google says otherwise, my friend.”

“There are children around.”

“Then you fit right in.”

“This is just stupid.”

“Okay, imagine the pieces of bread are your problems and now is your chance to detach yourself from them and throw them at the geese’s head, you know, let off some steam and aggravate some malicious aquatic birds at the same time. Then I’d recommend running as fast as you can.”

“…”

“Geese are pretty quick.”

“I’m just going to give it to one of the kids--”

“No! Just do it. Reconnect with your youth, it’s supposed to be uplifting. You feel silly? That’s the point. Do more silly things; life’s too short to complain about the economy all day. Throw the damn bread.”

“No.”

“Throw it!”

“No.”

“Fine, do it or I’ll get the herd of children to uplift you off the ground instead and throw you into the lake. Sound better?”

“… The things I do for you.”

“Are the most worthwhile things you’ll ever do.”

~

42 minutes later

“You’ve sent me to The Bronze Horse?”

“Seems so.”

“How much thought did you put into all of this?”

“I’d like to say I didn’t Google pubs in London with the word ‘horse’ in the title but…”

“I…”

“…”

“I’m going to phone Greg.”

~~Disconnected~~

~

~~Outgoing Call~~

“Hel--?”

“I’ve just left The Bronze Horse pub and the woman at the bar gave me this slip of paper with John’s next ‘clue’ on it. Is it a clue? I don’t know. A riddle? Sort of. Not really. He’s being

deliberately obscure and I can feel his smug grin from across London.”

“But what does it say?”

“It says ‘Why don’t you come on over,’ and there’s a blank space. There’s also a dreadful drawing of a moustache.”

“What on Earth…?”

“This doesn’t make any sense. Why don’t I come on over? Come on over where, John?”

“…”

“Are you humming?”

“Come on over, Valerie.”

“What did you call me?”

“Valerie, you idiot, it’s a song.”

“He’s calling me a woman?”

“No, there’ll be more to it than that. Is there anything else on the paper?”

“Just the drawing of the moustache, and I know that he’s referencing macaroons, but why? What do macaroons have to do with some woman named Valerie?”

“More importantly, how the hell did you make the leap between moustaches and macaroons?”

“I’d rather not go into it.”

“Fine. And that’s it?”

“It was also written in French--”

“You know French?”

“…Oh--”

“I didn’t know you could read French.”

“…Oh, I’ve got it…”

“Though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, with the amount of times your parents locked you in your room you’d have to be doing something--”

“Patisserie Valerie!”

“What’s that?”

“A patisserie, believe it or not. A French café where one buys French delicacies.”

“All right, you can cut the sarcasm, you wouldn’t have figured that out without my music knowledge.”

“Quick, look up the address on your computer, though I’m pretty sure the closest one is at Charing Cross. My aunt Eliza used to--”

“…”

“She liked the hot chocolate. And the French waiters. Mostly the French waiters.”

“Sounds like she was quite the character.”

“…Yes.”

“Charing Cross, you were right. It says here, there’s a Patisserie Valerie on Charing Cross Road.”

“Good, excellent, I’ll phone you back when I’ve--”

“Wait, say thank you.”

“To you?”

“Of course.”

“What for?”

“You never would have got that Valerie reference in a million years. A million--”

“Yes, yes, all right.”

“…”

“You will make a moderately useful detective inspector one day, Greg.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

~~Disconnected~~

~

(Fri 3:45pm) I always have, and I always will, hate the taste of macaroons.

(Fri 3:48pm) But you ate it anyway.

(Fri 3:49pm) I did.

(Fri 3:49pm) How do you feel knowing what the last stop is?

(Fri 3:50pm) I knew from the start that you’d be the last one.

(Fri 3:53pm) Crap, I bet that was Greg, wasn’t it? (Fri 3:54pm) You better be walking across the floor of Waterloo station right now by the way.

(Fri 3:54pm) …Not quite.

~~Incoming Call~~

“What do you mean ‘not quite’?”

“I mean I am not at Waterloo station... yet.”

“Then where the hell are you?”

“On my way…?”

“I don’t think you understand, you have to be here. Right now!”

“What time does your train leave?”

“In five minutes.”

“… Shi-- okay. Okay.”

“I’m not going to forgive you if--”

“I’m coming, all right?”

“Then you better jump those fucking barriers...”

~

(Fri 3:59pm) Are you there? Please tell me you’re there. (Fri 4:00pm) For the love of God, you better be in front of him right this very second.

~

“Sherlock I’m serious, I can’t wait any longer to get on this train. The doors are going to close soon and if you’re not here in thirty seconds…”

“Can you not… hear… how fast… I’m running?”

~

(Fri 4:01pm) Is it happening? It better be happening. He’s beautiful, isn’t he? I told you he was. It’s the curls. (Fri 4:02pm) Text me as soon as you can with all the details.

~

(Fri 4:03pm) Greg has been keeping me up to date. Congratulations, if you made it in time. I know you had your doubts and I’m proud of you for finally realising what it is you truly want. (Fri 4:03pm) I hope for both our sakes that he is everything you could hope for.

~

“Sherlock--”

“They won’t let me through, they won’t--”

“Sherlock--”

“John, they won’t--”

“I’m on the train. The doors are closed.”

“…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll see you soon.”

“…”

“Promise.”

~

(Fri 4:11pm) Would you answer me already? I’m going nuts over here.

~

(Fri 4:30pm) John, should I be worried?

~

(Fri 4:45pm) Sherlock?

October 19th Chapter Summary

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Holmes."

Chapter Notes

UPDATE ON THE FINAL CHAPTER: I told everyone to come back on the 16th for the final update. HOWEVER It's going to have to wait another week or so, sorry! This is down to the special news that has recently been received and certain bank verifications taking longer than expected. Everything should be sorted out and ready soon. Sorry again! Keep your eyes peeled :) Thank you so much for the continuous enthusiasm and support you've given, even though it's taken so long. Do I even need to say I've been through a flump? Well, I have. *flumps* And I figured it was getting a bit ridiculous and not everything has to be perfect and... well, here you go. You deserve it. *wink* And I CAN'T upload this without thanking Katzedecimal (for probably the 8236th time in my life) because she's fantastic and supportive and a top notch beta reader. If you haven't, I'd recommend going to read her chapter 24 of A Slip Of The Finger first :)

October 19th, 3 Years Later

Sherlock very nearly throws up when he hears the sound of the approaching train. People gather towards the yellow line. Sherlock takes a step backwards. The people manoeuvre around him and Sherlock has the sickly feeling that he’s swimming against the tide.

The train slows.

It stops.

John will be stepping through the doors in moments.

John.

He takes another step back, his stomach churning, his hands clenching and unclenching, his coat is suddenly too heavy, his scarf too tight, the station too small.

He sees passengers in the distance taking the step down onto the platform and he ducks back the way he came. In no time he’s inside Gregg’s, stood next to several shelves of sausage rolls, various pastries and a large, sad-looking plant that probably hasn’t been watered in a month or two. He eyes the bold, blue and orange logo and distracts himself with the thought that at least Greg is with him in another light. He wonders what Greg would be saying if he were with him right now. Probably something along the lines of stop farting around, go out there and kiss him. Grab his butt too, if you’re tempted. He won’t mind.

Greg has never been the most comforting of people.

“You look greener than that plant, love. Are you alright?” Sherlock looks around.

Elderly lady, early seventies, smoker, widowed, on her third coffee, waiting for her son to return from… Chesterfield? No, Sheffield, but it’s delayed. She’s lonely, been here since three o’clock and looking for some interaction. Interaction I’m not in the mood for.

He nods back dismissively, not looking her in the eye. Then he looks back through the doorway of Gregg’s and through the crowd, sees people scanning their train tickets and passing through the gates, dragging suitcases off with them.

He closes his eyes. He doesn’t know how long for. Long enough that the sound of suitcase wheels rolling across marble flooring has dampened before the next wave of arrivals.

When he opens his eyes they are immediately drawn to a figure wearing a bright green ear hat. The man’s head is ducked and his suitcase is parked at his feet. He sticks out like a sore thumb, stood completely still amongst the crowd of passengers flowing around him. Like a rock in the river. The only movement Sherlock can see comes from his fingers, tapping expertly on a mobile phone.

Sherlock doesn’t need to see his face to know.

The stupid hat would give it away anyway. As well as the awful jumper, and the untied shoelace and oh God it’s all so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. This person, stood alone in plain sight, is so undeniably John and this time there’s literally nothing separating them, nothing stopping Sherlock from sprinting like a maniac and sweeping John up onto his shoulder and carrying him away. But Sherlock can’t bring himself to run forwards. This moment is no breathless dash. There’s no desperation, no deadline, no doctor’s orders. Sherlock has his time and he’s going to take it and savour it.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the slow build of nausea and what the fuck happened to all the air?

A moment later he feels his phone vibrate.

Digging in his pocket, he pulls out his mobile, unlocks it and reads.

(Wed 5:02pm) Guess whose parents forgot to show up. You'd think they'd want to whisk me away in a limo and take me to a swanky restaurant, but no.

Fingers trembling, he types his reply.

(Wed 5:03pm) I don't know about a limo, but I can get us a cab if you prefer not to walk?

John’s head looks up slowly and uncertainly after he’s read the message. He quickly glances over his shoulder as if expecting Sherlock to be looming behind him, and then looks back down at his phone. Sherlock smirks at this and moves forward a little to make it easier for him, even though there’s still just the right amount of people to make an unfamiliar face very difficult to spot.

After re-reading the message, John visibly decides that Sherlock must be at the station and begins to swivel his body around on the spot, excitedly scanning the faces around him and identifying each person his eyes fasten on as not Sherlock, not Sherlock, not Sherlock…

Sherlock clenches his phone despairingly and manoeuvres closer through the crowd of people. For God’s sake, John. You see but you don’t observe. Sherlock thinks he makes out the beginning of his name on the tip of John’s tongue and that’s when the large woman pushing a ridiculously

sized pram clears the way long enough for John to catch that shock of dark hair in the distance.

John doesn’t need to have seen his face before.

He knows.

He definitely knows.

Those damn curls and those damn eyes and that damn scarf. He can’t believe he’s wearing it.

For a moment the both of them are simply rooted to the spot. Sherlock feels a brief jolt of terror that lasts only as long as it takes before a hilariously exaggerated look of triumph blooms across John’s face, as well as what Sherlock can only identify as child-like exhilaration. John quickly slips his phone back into his jean pocket and starts running. Actually running. He maneuvers through the swarm of people, nearly flattening a small child and guiding every set of shoulders out of his way.

Sherlock steps forward, his smile growing until it’s creasing the corners of his eyes. He opens his arms and—

Caring is not an advantage. Caring is not an advantage. Caring is not—

John collides into him, bringing Sherlock into the tightest hug he’s ever known. Their heads bury in each other’s necks and their fingers dig into the fabric of their coats, trying to eliminate as much space between them as humanly possible.

The hug says finally.

It says fucking hell this is happening.

But it also says I would have waited longer if I had to.

They stay like that for a long moment. Toes touching. Hair tickling. Breathing in the faintest hint of Yorkshire tea, breathing out old train seats and newspaper crosswords. Hugging John is like slipping into something more comfortable. It’s warm and it’s right and it tugs and twists Sherlock’s insides in a way that both aches and soothes.

Some passers by who’re biting into cold sausage rolls or wheeling by with suitcases notice them, and they silently acknowledge that this is a hug between two people who have been kept apart for far too long. And they smile because they know how that is. A girl adds on the end of her text:

‘...I’ve also just seen these two guys being reunited with each other. It was perfect, I wish someone would hug me like that.’

John’s luggage bag sits in its silent abandonment, forgotten on the cold Waterloo floor just a short distance away from them. A woman notices and takes the handle, hesitantly wheeling it over to the boys. Embarrassed, she catches Sherlock’s eye.

“John-”

“Sherlock,” he answers quietly, his voice muffled against the soft fabric of Sherlock’s coat.

“A lady is behind you with your bag.”

John pulls back a little to speak. “It could be Gerard pissing Butler on a bicycle, I don’t give a flying fuck.” The woman behind with the luggage turns an alarming pink colour.

A few teenagers who witnessed the moment applaud, but it’s pathetic. Just a dozen hands clapping. Meek. Polite. It doesn’t sound anything like how it should. It doesn’t come close to measuring the way John Watson has bombed and burst into Sherlock’s life, like a million cymbals all crashing together at once. That’s how it should sound. That’s certainly how it feels.

They pull away and John holds out his hand in introduction. The smile on his lips begins to form the words, “John Watson.” It feels ridiculous, going from first hug to first handshake. But then, nothing between John and Sherlock has ever been particularly forward.

His voice is not bent through phone lines, nor are the words appearing on a blinding phone screen

in the middle of the night. He looks like he’s just told the best joke in comedy history and his grin is almost embarrassing to look at.

Almost.

Sherlock takes his hand and shakes it, playing along, forming the syllables with more strength than he shows. “Sherlock Holmes.”

Jesus, John. You look like you’ve just won the lottery.

He’s been waiting to say it for so long and when the moment finally arises, he nearly can’t get the words out around his stupid grin. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Holmes.”

Sherlock has to laugh, despite himself. And John laughs with him because it’s all so ridiculous and surreal and it’s finally, finally happened, when at some point or another, neither of them thought it would.

Everything that’s happened over the past four years, every trembling finger that pressed the send button, every knot in his stomach, every delighted chuckle that escaped his mouth, all comes down to this one moment.

And the one person stood in front of him.

He’s a colourful mess against the grey, busy surroundings. His eyes are painted blue and his heap of blond hair is trapped beneath a green knitted ear hat. His lips and cheeks are gently smudged with the red that accompanies the icy autumn chill. His grin. Embarrassing. Uncontrollable. Impossible not to return. Impossible not to prompt further investigation on how that mouth works. Impossible. John Watson is simply impossible.

His ear hat is also on backwards.

~

It starts with coffee, just a ten-minute walk from the train station. John chooses the table by the window and they sit down, swallowed in their coats.

They talk and scoop and laugh and Sherlock doesn’t say anything about the cream atop John’s lip, just so he can see the blush creep up his cheeks when 15 minutes later John sees a young boy laughing at him. “You bastard,” he grumbles into the back of his hand, though there’s something in his voice that makes it sound like the biggest compliment in the world.

“…It still bothers me a little that you kept it from me.”

“I didn’t keep it from you. I just failed to mention it.” John says teasingly.

“Just like how you failed to mention that you were working alongside Sally Donovan for several months?”

“Oh, God. She was such a nightmare at times.”

“Yeah, that’s how I remember her.”

“She’d constantly be… verbally shitting on you. It drove me up the wall.”

“But you didn’t listen to her?”

“Oh, I heard every word. I just chose to disregard it all as utter crap. I can form my own, clearly more accurate opinions, thank you.”

“Even though she probably knew the real me?”

John stops spooning his marshmallows around his mug and meets Sherlock’s eyes. A moment passes between them. John lets go of his spoon.

“You don’t honestly believe that.”

Sherlock glances out of the window at a passing old couple. “I did say knew.”

John sits a little straighter, broadening out his shoulders a tad. “Good. Because I know you for real.” He takes up his spoon again, licking off the gathering cream.

“One hundred percent?” Sherlock still looks out of the window.

“Nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.” Sherlock raises one eyebrow at this, looking back at him until John relents. “And by annoying I of course mean brilliant and wonderful and wildly intelligent.” Sherlock raises his other eyebrow. “The dick part stays the same though.”

As the afternoon passes by John finds that he’d be completely content to sit in this too soft chair at this too small table all night. As Sherlock speaks,John sits forward in a constant state of interest and awe and it’s that very look on his face that stops Sherlock from pulling away when he finds that their knees are resting against each other. It goes unmentioned; an indescribable, very real, almost tangible affection for each other’s company. They clicked together instantly, publicly acting as though they’ve known each other all their lives.

“…So I’m half asleep, right? And somewhere I can hear this laughter and movement in the room, and of course I ignore it and fall back to sleep. I should have known better. Guess what I woke up to?”

“If it’s an erection then I don’t want to know…”

John’s elbows rest on the small round table while his hands gesture wildly in the air as he speaks. There’s something unfamiliar in John’s eyes and in the way his words tend to tumble over each other as he talks that betrays just how thrilled and excited he is to finally be face to face with Sherlock. But then there’s the way he falls so very silent and intent while listening to the words that fall from Sherlock’s more careful lips. It’s such a simple thing but it makes him feel important, which is bizarre and alien and all quite new to him. He waits. It’s been an hour, surely it’ll happen soon. John’s eyes will glaze over with the thought of something far more interesting than what’s

being thrown at him. He’s seen it too many times.

But it never comes. There’s just the something unfamiliar.

“…Halloween when I was eight years old, mother made both Mycroft and I dress up as the prime ministers that were in power during the time when we were born.”

“Making you…?”

“John Major. Agonisingly boring.”

“And your brother?”

“Margaret Thatcher.”

“Jesus fuck…”

"You didn't see the wig..."

He looks back at the something unfamiliar, studying John too closely as he watches him pause to drink his hot chocolate in the middle of his counter Halloween story.

John notices.

“What?” He asks and sets the mug down carefully.

Sherlock’s calculating gaze doesn’t waver. “New Years.”

“Hm?”

“I was just remembering New Years Eve all those years ago, back when we’d only known each other for a few months.” He leans forward now, resting his own elbows on the table and intertwining his fingers in order to hide the growing smile on his face as John launches into a brand new story about the fireworks in London and Mike falling down in the middle of the road on the ice and how he really shouldn’t have drunk that much—

You really need someone, you know? Someone.

The words echo in his head; he can hear John saying them as clearly as the first time, even when it was muffled and slurred through drunk, honest lips.

Another string of words resurfaces:

Does that make you my someone?

Sherlock doesn’t realise his mind has wandered to the night he came home to that voice mail until he feels John shift his leg to rest more comfortably against his own, bringing him away from the memory of sitting in his parent’s damp garden shed with a phone pressed to his ear, and back to the clatter of coffee mugs being cleared away.

It feels like an entire lifetime ago.

It ends 2 hours later with another set of empty mugs and the conversation being cut short by a redhaired barista standing over them, turning the closing sign over and over in her hands.

“Sorry boys, you’ll have to take it elsewhere.”

And they do. They take it to the streets. But the streets are boring and October is cold. So they take it to Tesco. But riding a shopping trolley down the aisle while Sherlock’s scarf flies back and hits him in the face as he fights back roaring laughter is apparently “extremely inappropriate,” and “get out or I’ll call the police!” So they take it to the roof. And John doesn’t know how or why and he doesn’t care anymore, so they sit and eat cold Pot Noodle as if it were any typical night.

And it would all be rather romantic, if Sherlock had any idea at all what the first thing about

And it would all be rather romantic, if Sherlock had any idea at all what the first thing about romance was.

John tears his eyes away from the moon to rest on Sherlock for a moment, who looks like he’s never so much as seen a noodle before in his life, let alone put one in his mouth. He gives up and sets the pot down, looking a little disgruntled and murmuring something about noodles being irrationally shaped for consumption. “Completely illogical, far too long and slippery to be considered—”

“Shut up. It’s a fucking noodle.”

Sherlock re-adjusts himself defensively. “You’re… a noodle.” He grimaces.

“Are you saying you want to dip me in…” John picks up the Pot Noodle and reads the label again, holding it up to catch the glow from the lampposts below, “chicken and mushroom sauce?”

“I wasn’t… I didn’t—”

“I wasn’t objecting.”

A blush crawls up Sherlock’s cheeks. “...You’re an idiot.”

“A fully trained army doctor actually, get your facts straight.”

Conversation halts as the words cause them both to remember exactly what John is doing back in London. Sherlock isn’t sure if he wants to bring it up. The night is too peaceful, too quiet to pollute with bad news.

John takes in a long breath and leans back on his hands, looking up at the night sky. “You know why I’m back.”

Sherlock closes his eyes. So, John thinks differently. Well, obviously he does, he just confessed to being a noodle.

“Of course I know.”

Noodles don’t even think.

John shifts uncomfortably. “I’m being deployed.”

Don’t waste time John, skip the obvious. Just tell me where, tell me when you’ll be back, tell me if we can sit on a rooftop again, tell me I won’t have to bring the noodles to a hospital bedside next time.

“Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“…Afghanistan.”

It drones through the ensuing silence.

“How long?”

John looks at him.

How long do we have? How long are you mine for? Before you belong to the army? How long?

“A week.”

Nothing else is said for a while. John reaches for Sherlock’s hand in the dark. Everything is suddenly heavier, the air is suddenly colder. Gazes turn to feet and things stay like that for a while, with half eaten noodle pots tipped over and scarves pulled more tightly.

“I feel as though I should thank you.” Sherlock says suddenly, looking out over the street below. “You know how bad things used to get, and your strange ideas of fun were admittedly, kind of almost a little sort of fun.” John swallows, fumbling in his mind for a way to tell him that them

texting was just as much of an escape for him as well. Then he thinks about Sherlock deducing his own messy home life just from the frequency of his late night sandwiches and the need for a distracting voice in the dark. John looks as though he’s going to say something, then decides against it. Sherlock knows.

John’s phone rings, the sound piercing and unwelcome. It’s his mother, asking about delayed trains and left-over curry and does he need picking up and does he have a coat with him and—

So they climb down, helping each other and still managing to scrape their knees. Footsteps in synch, they walk with their hands in their pockets and their elbows brushing until they reach the bus stop. When the bus arrives John fidgets a little, repeatedly putting his hands in his pockets and taking them out again. He looks as though he’s about to leave and awkwardly turns before he doubles back, parting his lips ever so slightly. Sherlock thinks he’s about to say something but instead, after a moments hesitation and a split second pep talk, John leans in and presses his lips to Sherlock’s. His hands may be freezing but as John reaches to cup Sherlock's face, he relaxes into the touch as though he's an open fire. It's gentle and sweet. Quick, but not rushed, and absolutely perfect.

And that’s how their first night ends; shuffling feet and an awkward kiss that suddenly isn’t awkward and is suddenly exactly what the other needs.

Epilogue Chapter Summary

It slipped through his fingers unexpectedly, unplanned, like everything else.

Chapter Notes

Wow, okay. Important announcement (like, REALLY important) which I'll remind you of at the end as well because I know you (yes YOU) are going to skip this and go straight to the epilogue. This silly little fic is being turned into an episodic YouTube WEB SERIES. Yes, you'll be able to actually SEE it, like, for real. Or something. Real actors, real cameras and a real heckin cool creator. However, incredible ideas like this can't just appear. A Kickstarter has been launched today, which allows you to donate as little as $1 towards this project. It would mean so, so much if you could give whatever you can. Our goal is $10,000. If we only raise $9,999 within the next 59 days, we lose ALL of that funding. That's how it works, and that's why your support in this is so important. If you can't spare any money but still think the idea of fan movies is awesome, help spread the word! Watch the teaser trailer on YouTube here.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

6 years later

Dear Sherlock I understand that handwritten letters have that vintage kind of feel nowadays, but I did say that I’d write to you. Besides, somehow texts and emails don’t feel quite as personal right now. But don’t worry, I won’t go all The Notebook on you (ask Molly). I have a feeling sitting and writing stuff out to you every so often is what’s going to keep me sane during all of this. That’s not really much of a surprise though, is it? Anyway let me know when I should change the address, I can’t wait to see the flat when I finally get a chance. From what you described it sounds perfect for you. Or us. Whenever that will be. I can tell you now I’m already missing London and it’s only been a week! I’ll get to how terrible the food is later, I have to tell you about someone I met on my first day called Todd Daniels, it’s absolutely hilarious…

Dear Sherlock I told Todd all about you. We sat up at night and talked about our people back home. He has a lot. He’s part of one of those really big happy families that gets along and doesn’t fight over burnt potatoes at Christmas time. I thought you and I would find that strange. I imagined you next to me and knew exactly which look would be on your face as he gushed about his siblings. I can’t even imagine you talking about Mycroft in that way, the thought is so odd it’s almost funny. So anyway,

Todd was telling me where he grew up and how he had to share one bathroom with eight other people…

Todd Daniels.

Dear Sherlock I’m going to have to make this a quick one, but I’ll explain it all in next week’s letter. I have just enough time to tell you about HOW SMALL MY WIENER IS … Uh, Todd wrote that. The nosy little shit needs to keep his hands to himself and learn that I HAVE A SMALL WIE…

Todd fucking Daniels.

Dear Sherlock I stitched up an arm today. Albeit it wasn’t a real arm, but it was still an arm, and I saved it. You’re welcome, arm. Todd made a mess of his. I hate it but that kind of makes me feel better. I’ve found something that I think I can be really good at. Maybe even the best, if I can keep this up. We’ll see how I go…

John writes about this Todd person so warmly and fondly that Sherlock even begins to sigh whenever he sees his name sketched onto the paper in John’s black scrawl. The letters for Todd’s name are placed on the page more carefully, less frantically than the rest of what he writes. As though just writing Todd’s name is important to do perfectly. Sherlock feels the jealousy tugging at him, put pushes it away. John found a person he could really connect with, who he cared about, who made him feel better. Someone he could actually physically see and… touch. A real friend. But Sherlock is the one who knows about his late night sandwiches and his awful knitting and his sister’s drinking and that he ate pancakes the first and last day of college but he’s more of a pastry kind of guy anyway... Sherlock thinks about John telling all these things to Todd and realises too late that his fists are clenching around the sides of the letter. He quickly puts it down and something inside him sinks at the sight of the crumpled paper. God damn it, John. Sherlock smooths his fingers over it woefully, folds it carefully and puts it to the side. After running his hands through his hair a couple of times, he picks up the next letter. Sherlock, Todd did the most hilarious thing this morning, I’m so lucky to… Sherlock puts it down again and moves on. Throughout the next half an hour he notices a shift in John’s letters. It’s not just the words that John had written, but even in the way Sherlock can tell he’d held the pen. The letters on the page

became more rounded, less scruffy. He crossed his Ts with a dead, blunt line, rather than the quick, hurried dash that sometimes ended up crossing through the better half of the whole word, that Sherlock had grown so accustomed to seeing during John’s early military career. It’s as though the giddy desire to write down everything interesting before it was forgotten began to disappear. An hour later and Sherlock is left holding the last letter, feeling a hollow ache in his chest as he reads the last words and rubs a thumb over John’s final messy signature. He sets the paper down on his desk, now in a huge disarray of letter after letter and sentence after sentence and for a moment the black lines all start to distort and blur into each other and surely he can’t be— Sherlock rubs his eyes, then his whole face. Tired. He’s just tired. And feels as though he might have lost part of the John Watson that he knows. He looks at the scattered pages. John has matured, obviously. He was never going to remain the boy who wheezed with laughter at the sight of a macaron with a paper moustache. The feet that will hit the cold train platform tomorrow morning will land bluntly. His eyes won’t be animated with excitement at the sight of Sherlock. He’ll be met by the soothing, quiet solemnity of a man who saw too much, but can’t help seeing some more. He’ll walk to Sherlock, though in his mind he’ll be running, and he’ll wrap his arms around him once more, breathing in that something familiar. Over the time after his training John experienced what it was truly like to be a soldier. Bored of sitting around in the medical clinic, treating headaches and common colds, both John and Todd gravitated towards the danger and joined the ranks. They shot and were shot at, and somewhere close to the end of their fifth year by each other's sides, Todd was killed. Shot in the chest, didn’t have long, John isn’t going into too much detail. He must have been there, must have seen it happen, must have watched him die. Sherlock still doesn’t know how he feels about this, so he decides to feel nothing. He files it away and quickly moves on. After Todd’s passing, Sherlock notices from the dates that John’s letters became less frequent. They also lack their old charm, the excited-schoolboy feel. It’s like he just let go of the kite. It slipped through his fingers unexpectedly, unplanned, like everything else. Either that, or the wind became too strong for him to hold on to that last piece of himself. He’s no longer John Watson: college boy who can name every James Bond villain. He’s John Watson: internally bruised, jaded soldier with a broken kite trailing at his feet, and after six long years, he’s coming home. Sherlock slowly places all the letters back into their cardboard box, carries it into his room and pushes it under his bed. He doesn’t sleep. ----------------------------

4 years later

It’s 11:15pm. Sherlock hears the Tesco bag before he sees it. John seems to be deliberately making enough noise to wake up the entire street as he makes his climb up the stairs of 221b. The bag lands on the kitchen table next to Sherlock’s microscope with a defeated thump. Sherlock glances at it, then turns back to sliding something between the glass dishes, not meeting John’s eye. He’s angry about something. You can even hear it in his footsteps. They both seem to be waiting for the other to speak. Sherlock's mind whirls: Liver, kidney, thumbs, head- no the head was the last straw, it was thrown out last week, the fridge is clear so it’s not that. Did I forget the milk again? That usually makes John angry for some reason. That would also explain the Tesco bag, but we got a fresh carton just yesterday. Is it the case? It can’t be, the case is the most important thing. We’ve been working on it for two, three days, making today October the ninetee— Oh. Sherlock finally looks up to find that John isn’t angry at all. He’s hurt. Now that he pays attention to it, Sherlock can see the hint of a pot noodle logo through the thin plastic of the bag. He closes his eyes and breathes out through his nose. It’s not like him to forget this sort of thing. “You’re thirty-one now, John, does it really make sense for us to keep up this tradition when we have such an important ca—" “Oh for fucks sake." John cuts him off and is out of the room before Sherlock even has his eyes fully open. Wrong thing to say. Wrong thing to say. Sherlock’s gaze falls back to what’s in front of him and he frowns, as though this is all his microscope’s fault. He scrapes his chair back quickly and roots through the Tesco bag so that a few minutes later, Sherlock is stood in the bedroom doorway, holding an open Pot Noodle in one hand and a fork in the other. He looks at John, sitting with his back against the headboard of the bed. John looks at his feet. When Sherlock clears his throat, John’s eyes land on the pot in his hands and he scowls, then presses his palms into his eyes. “Maybe it is a stupid tradition. Maybe I’m being stupid. Noodles are plain fucking stupid, aren’t they? Why couldn’t we be normal and just have dinner instead?" He sighs, but removes his hands from his face and looks up apologetically. “We’ve both outgrown those things, haven’t we?" Sherlock joins him on the bed, kneeling beside him, but doesn’t answer. “You never liked noodles anyway," John grumbles. “True. But I assumed that that’s just how relationships worked." John scoffs. “What, force feeding each other cold noodles on a roof equates to a functioning relationship?" Sherlock tilts his head slightly in thought. “No, I do things not because I like them, but because I like you. I don’t see that time as time wasted because,” he hesitates, shifting, “like I said before, you know how bad things used to get, and I’d be lost right now without the insane things you

texted to me when we were young. I'd be lost without you." He looks down at what’s in his hands and adds, “and while I’m still dubious about your twenty-one year old self’s choice in food, it doesn’t matter. I can remember that first night as clearly as if it was the morning after. Cheap noodles or no cheap noodles." John’s eyes finally soften and his shoulders relax as he watches Sherlock stick the fork into the pot and twirl it. That was the most alien combination of romantic words to ever come out of Sherlock’s mouth and John tries not to show just how much it stirred him. “It’s still shit that you forgot, though," John says, but it’s forgiving and light-hearted. “How spectacularly ignorant of me," Sherlock replies gruffly, extracting a smile from John at the memory. He offers the fork to John, who simply raises an unimpressed eyebrow at the dangling food. “Come on, or I’m tipping this," he nods at the pot of noodles, “over your crotch." John raises his other eyebrow. Sherlock heaves an exasperated sigh. “You wanted noodles tonight, so you’re getting noodles." He tries again, directing the forkful to John’s mouth and only elicits a laugh when it bumps against his closed lips. “You stubborn little—" John brings Sherlock’s head towards him with a hand on the back of his neck, shutting him up with a kiss and rolling him over. They don’t remember the noodles until a little while later when someone’s elbow lands in something cold and slippery. What remains in the pot ends up, unceremoniously (and to John’s protests), out the window.

Chapter End Notes

This fan fiction is being turned into an episodic YouTube web series!! Remember, donating is here and the teaser is here. Now, on to me being sentimental and weird. *clears throat* 398 days. Sounds a bit ridiculous, but that's it. That's how long it took me to tell this waffling, cock-tease of a story. I'm not going to lie, it's been really freaking awesome... making you cry. It's true what writers say about not being sorry. Like, at all. Back when I used to update every week, reading your reactions to the latest chapter was the highlight of my week. Mostly because a lot of you are nuts and throw cheezits everywhere or make up dessert AUs for Piecroft and Lestrudel. Writing this silly, juvenile, typo-ridden story has given me so much. I've met some absolutely incredible people. Kat, my partner in crime, I do so wish I could see you cameo in the web series as Eliza. And not just because I want to see your brains explode, but

web series as Eliza. And not just because I want to see your brains explode, but because since you first came to me with your plotbunnies you've become someone truly admiral in my eyes. To Ingrid, Naomi, and literally every other friend, fanartist and reader I've met through writing this, thank you isn't good enough.

Works inspired by this one A Slip of the Finger by Katzedecimal, Your Call Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by eBob, K_K_TiBal, Let's Be Alone Together by thiscaringsociopath Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!