91 Days of q Questions to Help You Create the Life You Desire Volume 1 eBook

91 Days of Q questions to help you create the life you desire volume 1

mary-Jane liddicoat

the daily Q keeping you awake at the wheel of life

Dedicated to M Thank you for the inspiration Acknowledgments This book would not have been possible without the work and workshops of Gary M Douglas, Dr Dain Heer, and Access Consciousness®. Copyright © 2012 Mary-Jane Liddicoat, The Daily Q – Keeping you awake at the wheel of life First published in Australia 2012 Edited by Rowan Ainsworth Cover design by Kholo Matsafu All rights reserved. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism, or review, as permitted under the copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without written permission. Inquiries should be made to the publisher. National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry Liddicoat, Mary-Jane, 196591 days of Q (electronic resource): questions to help you create the life you desire / Mary-Jane Liddicoat ; editor Rowan Ainsworth. ISBN 0987204890 (ebook : pdf) 91 days of q ; v. 1. Self-actualization (Psychology) Ainsworth, Rowan 158.1 Inquiries www.thedailyq.co and www.mary-jane.co

Contents 91 Days of Q...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................1

The origins of Q........................................................... 5 How does it get any better than this?®......................7 How did I get so lucky?............................................... 8 What else is possible?®............................................... 9 What's right about this that I'm not getting?............10 What's right about me that I'm not getting?.............11 What could I add to my life?.....................................12 What if the point of life was to have fun?.................13 What fun could I add to my life?...............................14 What if I had infnite, free choice?............................15 Body, what do you require?.......................................16 Can I change this? If so, how?..................................17 Who and what truly excites and inspires me?...........18 What beauty can I see today?....................................19 Who am I today?........................................................20 What if study were easy & fun?................................21 What if work were easy & fun?................................. 22 Interesting point of view............................................ 23 Am I in allowance or judgement?.............................. 24 What's it going to take for X to show up?.................25 Does this work for me?..............................................26 Body, what would be fun for you?............................27 If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose?.........................................................28 If it's light, it's right.................................................... 29 If I buy you, will you make me money?....................30 You're right, I'm wrong.............................................31 What can I do to make up for the damage I've done? .................................................................................... 32 1

What question could I ask?.......................................33 I'm sorry. That doesn't work for me..........................34 Am I tired, or bored?................................................. 35 What choices do I have?............................................ 36 What information do I need?.....................................37 No form, no structure, no signifcance......................38 If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?................................................................................ 39 What have I decided I can't change?........................40 What have I decided I must be?................................ 41 What have I decided I can't be?................................42 If I were me, who would I be?...................................43 How have I defned success?..................................... 44 Is this my way of fghting happiness?.......................45 What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?................46 Words to leave behind: want.....................................47 Words to leave behind: why, try, need, but, never and because....................................................................... 48 How many people can I annoy with my exuberance today?......................................................................... 49 If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?....................................................................... 50 What's the value of hanging on to this?....................51 What do I love about this?.........................................52 Who does this belong to?...........................................53 No judgment, no discrimination, no discernment.....54 Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone...............55 Is this an ELF or a rattlesnake?................................56 What is this?...............................................................57 What is this? Would I like to change it?...................58 Would I like to change it? If so, how?.......................59 How much fun can I have today?.............................60 2

What does this add to my life?..................................61 What am I grateful for today?...................................62 What am I grateful to them for?................................ 63 Who am I being now?................................................ 64 What if I created my life from chaos?.......................65 What decisions & conclusions have I made about this?......................................................66 Cute, Not Bright........................................................ 67 What's funny about this I'm not getting?..................68 What am I sick and tired of?.....................................69 If I didn't think, what would I know?.......................70 If other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose?.........................................................71 Great idea! Now or in the future?.............................72 Who or what can I be or do today that will contribute to my business?.......................................................... 73 When did I buy the point of view that I was no good? .................................................................................... 74 No competition...........................................................75 I am hanging on to this for what reason?..................76 Body, what are you telling me?.................................77 What if happiness were just a choice?.......................78 What's the value of being sad?..................................79 A brain is a wonderful thing to waste........................80 What if I didn't need to prove myself to anyone?.....81 Do not listen to, tell or buy the story.........................82 What could I be doing differently?...........................83 What if there were nothing wrong with my past?....84 What am I unwilling to receive?................................85 I'm sorry, I'm confused..............................................86 What have I decided is a problem?...........................87 Body, who or what is this?.........................................88 3

What's the value of helping people?.......................... 89 What am I making having this about?......................90 What am I unwilling to ask for?................................ 91 What does relationship mean to me?.........................92 What title am I limiting myself to?............................93 Is this distracting me?................................................ 94 No exclusion...............................................................95 What contribution could I be here?..........................96 Be you and change the world....................................97 Daily mantra.............................................................. 98 10 keys to total freedom............................................. 99 My favorite Qs......................................................... 100 About the Questionnaire..........................................102 About Access Consciousness®................................ 103 More information..................................................... 104

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The origins of Q This book is a list of practical questions to change any situation and to help you to create the life you'd truly like. Why questions? A question will always empower you to see and create more. An answer will only limit you to what you have decided is right. Asking questions requires no special talent or ability. All you need is a willingness to ask. When you ask a question are you looking for an answer? No. Ask, then make a choice and notice what shows up. Then ask another question and choose again. The idea is to continually invite more of whatever you enjoy into your life, from a place of total awareness and freedom. This collection is designed to get you into the rhythm of asking questions and seeing possibility, rather than seeking answers and fnding only problems. After a while, you will become the question. Most people don't function like this. Most people are seeking the answer to life, the right way to live.

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You may even be reading this book now looking for an answer. These questions are not the answer. They are a tools to unstick you from places you get stuck and to help you see greater possibilities. Please do not feel bound by their form or limited by their content. Make up your own whenever you like! Go on. I dare you. Where have these questions come from? From workshops facilitated by Gary M Douglas, founder of Access Consciousness®, Dr Dain Heer, Davida Bache, Blossom Benedict, Steve and Chutisa Bowman, Marilyn Bradford, Dr Kacie Crisp, Diva Diaz, Michelle Edhouse, Karen Jones, Pam Houghteling, Christopher Hughes, Susan Lazar Hart, Simone Milasas, Shannon O'Hara, Liam Phillips, Glenna Rice, Eri and Andrew Rigg, Brenda St Louise and many other empowering Access Consciousness® facilitators. I am most grateful to them for sharing their light, funflled, pragmatic and generative approach to life. I hope you enjoy it too. Te Questionnaire

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Day 1

How does it get any better than this? ® Whatever you've got going on – great or not so great – it can always get better. You just have to ask. What good things are going on with you right now? Did you get the boy, girl, job, house, lottery ticket, exam results, [list your own good stuff here ______________] that you thought you'd like? What about bad things? Perhaps you got a parking ticket, failed the exam, missed out on the job, lost the deal you've been working on for six months, got dumped by the love of your life, was thrown out of the house, [list your own not-so-good stuff here _________________]? Now ask “How does it get any better than this?”® This is your invitation for something even better to show up. Of course you'd like the bad things to improve. The good stuff? Just because something is totally awesome now, doesn't mean it can't be even more awesome.

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Day 2

How did I get so lucky? On a scale of 1-10, how grateful are you for people and things in your life? And how often do you let them know? When someone thanks you, how do you feel? Good? Does it make you want to hang around longer, visit again sooner, work harder, smile more, and do whatever you can to contribute to them? This is the energetic vibration of thanks. It's warm, fertile and prosperous, and it can infect people and replicate. So whenever good stuff – both things and people – show up in your life, acknowledge them by asking “How did I get so lucky?” It's a great way to say you're thankful and to invite more of the good stuff to come your way.

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Day 3

What else is possible?® Do you have days when things are just not working the way you'd like to? When everybody replies “No!”, “You can't do that!” or “That's not the way we do things around here”? You've got great ideas, great energy, a desire to contribute but the people around you are simply not in the same zone. Does this frustrate, upset or disappoint you? Do you walk away despondent and dispirited? Next time your boss, parents, teacher, business partner, employee, children or insignifcant other says “No” reply“OK. Got it. That doesn't work for you. I wonder what else is possible?”® Then listen and see what they say. They may surprise you with an idea even better than yours. And at least the discussion is still open.

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Day 4

What's right about this that I'm not getting? What do you do when things “go wrong”? When you don't get that interview, job, promotion, contract you worked so hard for? Do you try to fx things somehow, or try for it again and again? How does that work out for you? Do you put in a lot more blood, sweat and tears, and then you still don't get it and are left feeling miserable, angry or frustrated? Do you end up thinking that you're no go and you'll have to settle for second best? Do you feel like a loser or a failure? What if instead of deciding things had gone wrong, you looked for the right in them instead? So next time things don't work out the way you thought they should have, ask “What's right about this I'm not getting? Then notice what comes to mind. If you're not paying attention, you may miss seeing all the other amazing new possibilities. 10

Day 5

What's right about me that I'm not getting? Are you down on yourself? Do you feel that you're not quite right some how? That you're less than you should be? That you're not what someone else expects you to be? Do you ft in with everyone around you? Or not? And have you decided that you're wrong for not ftting in? What if there was nothing wrong with you? If you'd like to fnd out, rather than judging yourself as wrong, ask “What's right about me that I'm not getting?” What if you were not nearly as messed up as you thought you were? What if you were just different? And what if you by acknowledging this, you became the difference that the world needs?

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Day 6

What could I add to my life? Do you feel your life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? Or perhaps it bores you? Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? How often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy, to create time and money for someone else? Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when “things need to be done,” start by asking “What else could I add to my life?” For example, what if you added a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or asked your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss to do more (or something!)? What if you started a new business or hobby to make you smile again? When did you decide you couldn't ask for something for you?

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Day 7

What if the point of life was to have fun? What is the point of life? Do you know? Does anyone? Is it the same for everyone? Have you bought a point of view from someone that doesn't quite seem to ft you? What if you created your own point of life? Would that work better? What would you choose? Would you choose things that were hard and to be suffered, or that were a delight for you to do? Who decided you had to choose the no-fun, problemflled, version of life that most people seem to create, anyway? Would you like to choose differently? If so, ask “What if the point of life was to have fun?”

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Day 8

What fun could I add to my life? Not having much fun? When did you decide having too much fun was not allowed? How old were you when your parents told you “Enough fun! Knuckle down and study”? What if you could have fun and do amazingly well at study, work, family and community life? Would you like to fnd out? If so, ask “What fun could I add to my life?” It could be anything, large or small. Like learning the ukulele once a week, sweating at bootcamp at lunch, asking your insignifcant other to make you breakfastin-bed and take the kids to school while you sleep in, spending 10 days on holiday in Hawaii. If you already have a little of it, add more. And there's no need to stick with it forever. If your fun drops off, ask the question again and make another choice. If you feel like you don't have enough time or money to add fun, ask “What would it take to create the money/time for this?” You'll be amazed at what you can create when you ask. Fun: are you willing to have more? 14

Day 9

What if I had infinite, free choice? Close your eyes. Find the outer edges of your body. Got them? Are you only your body, or something else? Like being a CD with music, rather than a blank one. If you are more, now fnd the outer edges of you, the being (the music). Got them? Wherever you found them, push them out in all directions until they are out past the outer edges of the universe, or further. Now open your eyes. Do you feel the same or different? Do you have the sense of more space or less? Did you feel any edges or not? There are no right answers to these questions. Only your awareness. This exercise is designed to heighten your awareness of you and space and to remind you that you are a being in a free-will universe, with infnite, free choice. When your life is not how you'd like it to be, remind yourself you can choose to create it differently. Just ask“If I had infnite, free choice what would I choose? and choose that.

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Day 10

Body, what do you desire? Are you just your body? Or more? Does your body do things you – or science! – simply can't explain (like run your pancreas and make babies)? Could it be a whole lot smarter about what it needs than you are? How's your body feeling now? 110 per cent? Not so great? In either case, invite it to tell you what it would like, ask “Body, what do you desire?” Then listen and give it what it wants, not what you or anyone else has decided it should have. What if, by listening more to your body, your aches and pains melted away? What if listening more closely to your body gave you boundless energy and every cell sung with the vibrant joy of a fve-year old? Could that create the physical changes you've been seeking? If you'd like to fnd out, start an ongoing conversation with your body today, and listen. 16

Day 11

Can I change this? If so, how? Something not working the way you'd like? Rather than focus on what's not working, get clear on what change is possible. Sometimes, things won't change no matter what you do. If you'd like clarity about what will change and what won't, ask “What's possible? Can I change this? If so, how?” These questions will help you see ways you might step around, walk away, dig under, or fy over the brick wall, rather than bang your head against it. The brick wall is not wrong and has no evil intent to hurt you. It is simply a brick wall that is happy to stay that way. So get clear on the brick walls in your life and fnd another way around or away. Your head will thank you for it.

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Day 12

Who and what truly excites and inspires me? Are you bored, uninspired and unexcited with study or work? With your relationships? Life in general? Perhaps you're doing something because you've decided it's a good career choice, a noble cause, a higher purpose, or just because you've always done it? You'd be crazy to give it up. You'd let everyone down. Right? Do you spend time with people only because you work with them, they've been friends forever, they're family, or they'd be upset if you didn't? If you'd like to inject some life into your life ask “Who and what truly excites and inspires me?” and choose that. What if you were excited and inspired by what you did everyday and everyone around you? Would your life ever be hard or tiresome again? What amazing contribution could you make, by doing wholeheartedly what you love, rather than halfheartedly what you think you should?

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Day 13

What beauty can I see today? How often do you focus on the problems, the bad and downright ugly things in life? Even if your intention is to fx these things, your attention will still be on what you have decided is a problem, bad or ugly. What if, instead you focused on the wonderful, beautiful, phenomenal things in the world and asked what it would take for more of those to show up? Rather than limiting yourself to fxing the not-sogreat things, invite in more of the good stuff. If you'd like to retrain yourself to see the wonder of life, every morning on your way to work, school, or the shops, ask “What beauty can I see today?” And then look and when you see it, say “How did I get so lucky?”

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Day 14

Who am I today? Remember when you were a small child and every day was an adventure? Was your To Do list something like this: wake up, have fun, go to bed (maybe, or just fall asleep mid-play)? Does your life still have that energy? Is your To Do list now more like: drag myself out of bed, do what I have to, work and drink too much and fall into bed (or on the subway)? Would you like to reclaim the energy of your child? Rather than resigning yourself to being weighed down by responsibilities, what if you embraced life as an exciting adventure? If so, wake up every morning and acknowledge you're in charge of creating your day by asking “Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?” When you start each day like this, will you have the same old study, job, work, business, family, health or money problems? Maybe. Or maybe you'll see new, exciting possibilities that you have never seen before.

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Day 15

What if study were easy & fun? What are your points of view about study, including about going to school, college, or university and about learning anything in general? That it's hard, will take a long time and lots of money? That you're not smart or diligent enough? That you shouldn't rest, sleep, or enjoy yourself because you should be studying? How many vested interests are making study hard for you? Do teachers want you to outshine them? Do after school tutoring businesses want you to hire them? And other students? Do they want you to see your talent? Are you willing to consider a different possibility? If so, ask “What if study were easy and fun?” What if you approached study with the energy of an insatiable curiosity about things that inspire you? What if you were excited about learning new ways to expand your natural talents? Would study be more fun, easier, and more rewarding then?

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Day 16

What if work were easy & fun? Is work usually hard for you and not much fun? Do you think that's just the way it has to be? That it's wrong to show that you enjoy your job, or that doing things elegantly – getting best result for the least effort – is somehow cheating? When you were young, did your parents frown and complain about their day at the offce or factory? Do you do that now? Would you like to enjoy work more and get better results more easily? If so, start by giving up all the fxed points of view you have about work. Then ask “What if work were easy and fun?” Are you willing to enjoy every moment of your work life, and get the best results, and make money? It is possible. Many people create good income from doing things they enjoy all the time. How? They choose to do things they enjoy well, rather than suffer and do badly things they don't. Happiness is just a choice and a smile is very good for business.

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Day 17

Interesting point of view How often do you get stuck in a no-win fght? Do you enjoy it when other people won't listen to your opinion and only want you to see theirs? How much stress do you suffer from trying to prove who's right and who's wrong about something? Does this help your work or business? What does stress do to your body? Do fghts create or use your time and money? Would you prefer a different way of being? If so, practice these magic words “interesting point of view” every time you fnd yourself having a difference of opinion with someone. You're not saying anyone is right or wrong. You're acknowledging everyone has a right to their own (perhaps insane) point of view, including you. Say it lightly, smile and move on, for example “Yes, I see, thank you. That's a really interesting point of view. I wonder what would be the most rewarding outcome for our business right now? What else could we look at?” This invites in new ideas that you both might like.

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Day 18

Am I in allowance or judgement? Do you ever feel heat in your chest or pressure on your temples when someone says or does something you don't like? Do you fnd you can't think clearly, or you get angry? If you'd like to be free from the control of such uncomfortable physical sensations, consider them a sign you are in judgement. Then you can shift gear into allowance. What is allowance? Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view and you have total freedom of choice. Judgement limits you to what you have decided (or someone has told you) is right/wrong, good/bad. It's like being on an automatic pushbutton system of resist/react or agree/align. So next time you have a physical reaction to someone, ask “Am I in allowance or judgement?” If you fnd you're in judgement, repeat “Interesting point of view” while consciously expanding outwards until the heat dissipates. Then ask another question.

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Day 19

What's it going to take for X to show up? What would you like to have show up in your life? A great new job, a successful business, smart staff, more customers, reliable suppliers, an investor, more money, greater ease (less stress), better health, more fun? Whatever that is, invite it into your life with this question, while letting go of any conclusions you might have made about what it will look like and how it will show up. Be aware of the specifcs of what you ask. For example, if you ask for the “perfect job,” you may create a job based on other people's expectations of perfect, including how you have to work long and hard, do what your boss says even though you can see a better way, take sides in offce politics and so on. So instead, be clear on what you'd like and ask “What's it going to take for [example, a rewarding job that I enjoy and allows me to extend my talents, with fexible, fun, creative people] to show up, that would contribute to my life more than I can imagine, or something greater?”

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Day 20

Does this work for me? How many things in your life don't work for you, but you think you have to be/do/have them because someone else said so? You have to study for that exam, go to that school, study that subject, enter that company, learn that language, marry that person, have that many children, attend that event and so on. How well do you do them? Just because someone else tells you being/doing/having something is a good idea, will it always work out well for you? Who is the one person who knows what works for you? You. You know if something is working for you. It feels light as a feather. Unlike all the heavy stuff you know doesn't work for you but you do because you were told to. So if you're not as happy as you'd like to be, start listening and trusting you more by asking “Does this work for me?” Notice whether you feel heavy or light, and if you'd like to change the heaviness, ask “What else is possible?” 26

Day 21

Body, what would be fun for you? Do you like your body? Do you enjoy it and do fun things with it, like skip, run, jump, dance and play? Do you ever thank it for carrying your brain safely to work every day? Or do you wake up in the morning judging it? It's too fat, too thin, too wrinkly, too ugly, too slow, too old, too....? Do you tell it it's not what it should be and force it to do things to make it what you think it should be? Do you try every new exercise and diet? Do you take pills and have surgery? Does it work? And is your body having a good time? Here's a hint. Pain and discomfort is your body telling you it's not happy. What if instead, you asked your body what it enjoys and follow its lead? Remember when you were fve, when you had a vibrant, ft, healthy, body overfowing with energy? Did you think about it, or did you just follow your body? If you'd like that energy again, ask “Body, what would be fun for you?” then, as they say, just do it. It might even be good for business. *Standard caveats apply: consult your doctor frst if you have a medical condition.

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Day 22

If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose? What have you decided you must keep being/ doing/ having, no matter what? You made a decision, so you'll stick to it even if it kills you. After all, that's the right way to live, isn't it? Maybe. Or would you prefer another option to killing yourself to prove you're right? What if instead, you created your life by consciously choosing things that contributed to your life in ways you enjoy? How? Ask “If I had 10 seconds to live the rest of my life, what would I choose?” This is not about making random changes for change's sake. The question is designed to remind you what science says: this is a free-will universe and you have choice. You may end up choosing the same thing continuously every 10 seconds, as long as it works. And if one day it doesn't, you'll know and you can choose something else that does. 28

Day 23

If it's light, it's right If everything is just an interesting point of view – including other people's opinions – how do you know who and what will be the greatest contribution to your life and living? First, ask a question, any question (choose from this book) then pay attention to what shows up and how you feel. Do you feel heavy? Do you feel light? If you feel light, it's right for you. If you feel heavy it's not for you. You know that clunky feeling you get when you just know something's not quite right, the uncomfortable feeling of a lie? Listen to your senses and follow the lightness, even though it may not make logical sense at the time. How often have you said “I just knew it felt a bit off, even though I couldn't fgure out why”? Remember, just because something is light for you, it may not be light for the person standing next to you. And whose life are you living? Yours or theirs?

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Day 24

If I buy you, will you make me money? What's your relationship with money? Do you enjoy it? Is it a fun partner that helps you create the life you'd like? Or do you feel it has power over you and limits everything you do? Does every cent you spend contribute to your life? Or does money leak out of your pocket and you never have enough? If you'd like to change your relationship with money, next time you think about buying something, ask “If I buy you, will you make me money?” Certainly a banana, or shoes, or a book may not bring a direct cash return (unless you're a fruit, shoe or bookshop owner). But what about their contribution to you in nutrition, style, information and feel good energy? Would that energy help you generate more money? Sure. When you ask the question, pay attention to your senses. Do you feel light or heavy? If you feel heavy, then move on. You always know if something will contribute to you or not. How often do you ignore yourself? 30

Day 25

You're right, I'm wrong. Some people love to fght. Do you? Some will fght to the death to prove the rightness of their point of view. Some just like to fght for the fun of it. In either case, will anything you say or do change their mind and stop the fght? Do you ever see the insanity of an argument and try to stop it or change it with well considered and logical arguments? Does it ever work? Or do you get more frustrated, tangled and drawn into the fght? If you don't enjoy arguing and would like to move beyond the fght to new possibilities, smile and say “You're right, I'm wrong” three times. You're not agreeing the other person is right. You're acknowledging their right to their point of view, and you are being in allowance of them not seeing yours. The words are easy. The energy behind the words might take practice. Saying these words sarcastically or angrily will not work. Your energy must be of complete allowance. Will they work? Next time someone wants a fght, use them and see. 31

Day 26

What can I do to make up for the damage I've done? Is someone giving you hell? No matter what you do or say, you're always wrong? Perhaps you really did do something less than bright, and they're coming down on you hard? How do you respond? Do you try to justify your actions and prove that you're not wrong and are doing your best? Does that work? Even if you really did nothing wrong, do people believe you and make your life easy? Not usually. If you'd like to vacuum up all the bad feelings and start again, do this. First acknowledge the other person's point of view. Say “You're right, I'm wrong” three times. Then ask “What can I do to make up for the damage I've done?” Check your energy matches the words. Sarcastic or angry energy won't work. The magic is in the energy of allowance and vulnerability. When you are willing to give up your points of view about being right, then you are free to create new possibilities. 32

Day 27

What question could I ask? Are you stuck? Has something or someone gone funky? Or perhaps you'd just like to generate more great stuff in your life? Whenever and whatever you'd like to create change, start by asking a question. Any question. Why? A question will invite you to see something you might not have been able (or willing) to see before and empower you. An answer, decision, conclusion, or judgement will serve only to limit your feld of vision and disempower you. That's the aim of this book. So you'll have a bunch of the simplest, most effective questions within easy reach. So today's question is for when you have a brain freeze and can't think of a question. Ask “What question could I be asking here?” It's so simple it might even make you smile, which is always good too. 33

Day 28

I'm sorry. That doesn't work for me. Do you fnd you do a lot of things for other people, that you'd rather not, giving up the things you'd like to do? Other people will always try to get you to do things for them, using obligation and guilt to control you. Why? It makes their lives easier, and you usually do what they ask, so why not? Contributing to other people can be wonderful. And did you know that when you don't feel light and wonderful about a request or demand, you don't have to do it? Next time you feel a heaviness about someone's request, smile and with a light, joyful energy say “Thank you so much for thinking of me! I'm sorry. That doesn't work for me right now.” Then smile again and change the subject. You are stating a fact about which no one can argue. Don't offer a reason or excuse; these only allow the conversation to continue. If people push you, smile again and say “I'm sorry it doesn't work for me. It's a wonderful opportunity and I'm sure you'll fnd someone even better than me.” 34

Day 29

Am I tired, or bored? How often do you feel tired at study, work, or home simply because you're “tired of it”? You've had enough. Think of 3 o'clock on Friday afternoon and you're winding down at work. Do you start to feel tired? What happens then at 5 o'clock when you meet your friends for drinks, dinner, chatting, dancing or watching sport? Do you still feel tired? Or do you come to life and have boundless energy? What is that? Is it the fun factor? Could fun be enough to keep you energized? So when you start to feel tired ask “Am I tired or bored?” Then ask “What could I add to my work, business, life that would make it more fun?” and add that.

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Day 30

What choices do I have? How often do you feel trapped in a no-choice universe. When did your parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, children and everyone sell you the idea that you have no choice but to do what they tell you? What is that for you? To study a subject you hate, take a job you're not interested in, break off a great relationship, marry a person you don't really like, work late every night and weekend? Guess what? You always have a choice. Infnite choices in fact. This is a free will universe. So remind yourself. Next time you feel trapped ask “What choices do I have?” Then notice whatever possibility feels lightest and ask more questions about what it would take for you to create that as your life. Of course, it may end up being exactly what other people told you to choose in the frst place. But you'll feel differently about it because it was your choice. 36

Day 31

What information do I need? Are you confused about something? What subject to study, which university or company to apply for, whether to ask someone out, what to spend your money on, how much to worry about your kids education? Add your own current personal confusion here ______________. Confusion is usually a sign that you're missing information. Put another way, when you have all the information you require, are you confused? No. So next time you think you're confused, rather than stressing and spiraling into a worried frenzy about what to do, ask yourself “What information do I need? Who do I need to speak to?” Keep asking these questions until you replace confusion with clarity. This is not about getting your choices right or perfect. Choice creates awareness, so each time you make a choice you'll see more possibilities. This question simply helps you avoid being distracted by the stress of confusion that need not exist. 37

Day 32

No form, no structure, no significance What do you do when things don't ft into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have?” Or do you react with upset and say “That's strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it my way their life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?” How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way? If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, start here: •

notice the form & structure in your life

•

let go of any signifcance you've attached to it

•

choose the form & structure that works for you, and

•

change whatever doesn't. How? Ask more questions. 38

Day 33

If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it? One of the greatest limitations in work, business and life in general is when you decide something is right, best or perfect. The right subject to study, the right school, the right career, the right job, right person for the job, the right product, the right marketing strategy, the right branding, The One. Why? It stops you looking for anything greater. So even if you think your work, business or life is ticking along very nicely now, and you don't feel stuck or limited by anything, ask “If I didn't do it this way, what other ways could I do it?” This is an invitation for greater awareness. Especially if you're in business. Questioning the things you think are perfect can make you an industry leader and innovator. And if you do end up choosing to do things the same way as before, it will be because that is still the most inspiring option. Not because you were stuck in a rut.

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Day 34

What have I decided I can't change? Have you been trying for some time to create the relationships, work, business or life you'd like, but can't ever seem to make it happen? If you've been stuck on something for a while and not achieved the result you'd like, you may have some deeply held, unconscious decisions that are limiting you. For example, is there anything you believe can't be changed? Where you have to live, study or work, or what you have to do or be for someone else? What if you could change anything? What would be possible for you then and what would you choose? If you'd like to move beyond the places that have been keeping you stuck, ask “What have I decided I can't change?” and notice what comes to mind. If you start seeing where and how you've been keeping yourself stuck with unspoken decisions, then ask “What else is possible?” and “Can I change this? If so, how?”

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Day 35

What have I decided I must be? What decisions have you made about who or what you must be? A doctor, lawyer, government offcial, part of the family business, father/mother, good daughter/son, what else? And to be anything else is to be less? Were they your ideas? Or someone else's? Whatever the reasons, decisions will only limit you. You've decided, so you can't change it, even if it's no longer working for you. Questions on the other hand will help you see possibilities you might not have been willing or able to see before. Questions will empower you to choose consciously what you'd really like. So if you'd like to create the life you'd really enjoy, ask “What have I decided I must be?” followed by “If I could choose anything, who and what would I be?” You may choose exactly the same as you are now. Or you may not. In either case, the choice will be consciously yours, so how will you feel about it? The same or different?

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Day 36

What have I decided I can't be? Has someone, sometime sold you the idea you can't be something? Did they tell you you're not clever, pretty, thin, tall, handsome, rich, strong, creative, healthy, [fll in your own limitation here_______________________] enough to get a particular job, make money, have great friends, create the life you'd like? What if it weren't true? What if you could be anything you liked regardless of what other people told you were your limitations? Just because someone says something about you, does that make it true? Only if you agree. So if you feel limited, ask “What have I decided I can't be?” This will help you see and unlock the doors to everything you have decided it is not possible to be. You may even rediscover the greater you, beyond anything you ever imagined. What's right about you that you're not getting?

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Day 37

If I were me, who would I be? Do you sometimes feel like you're not being who you really are? That you're being all sorts of things for other people, and nothing for you? Do any of these roles sound familiar? Latest-at-theoffce employee, best-drinking boss, super mum, breadwinner dad, A-grades daughter, sportschampion son, host-with-the-most, community hero, best-friend-to-all, [fll in your own identities here___________________________]? Do they weigh you down? Do you feel lost under layers of masks to make other people happy, but don't quite feel like you? Would you like to rediscover who you really are? If so, ask “If I were me, who would I be?” What if being you was more than just fne? What if it was wonderful and exactly what your family, home, offce, communities and the world needed?

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Day 38

How have I defined success? What does success mean to you? Getting into that school? Getting that job, that person, that house? Driving a cool sports car? Having a million dollars in the bank? Nothing wrong with having a clear idea about what would be fun for you. The question is, did you select these things because they would be fun for you? Or because you decided (or someone else told you) that these things would show other people you were successful? And until you have these things, you must work long and hard, and make sacrifces, including not doing things you really enjoy? If you're not enjoying life right now, ask “How have I defned success?” and get clear on what is driving you. What if instead you drove yourself and defned success in ways that work for you. For example, “What will it take for me to bounce out of bed every morning, smiling and inspired by everything I do and everyone I meet?” You can of course add “With some fun, zappy wheels to get me around, or something greater?”

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Day 39

Is this my way of fighting happiness? Not happy? Got problems? Do you sometimes create problems because everyone else has them? Do you think if you didn't have problems you wouldn't be normal, you wouldn't ft in, and you certainly wouldn't have anything to talk about? Misery loves company. What about you? Do you love company so much you create misery-flled problems? Or have you bought the idea that being happy is somehow wrong? What if being happy were OK? What if it were more than OK? Would you choose it and fnd new company? So next time you think you have a problem ask “Is this my way of fghting happiness?” Would you be willing to choose to be how you'd really like to be, even if you have to smile on your own for a while until you infect others?

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Day 40

What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result? What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them? Or are they simply distractors that keep you from creating what you'd truly like? If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business and life you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?” This will clear such distractors so you see what you'd really like to choose. Are you willing to have that much freedom?

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Day 41

Words to leave behind: want Would you like to have scarcity disappear from your life and expand your possibilities? Then leave this word behind: want. Want – along with why, try, need, but, never and because – each contain some kind of energetic limitation. Want primarily means and has the energy of “lack”. So when you say “I want money” you are actually saying “I lack money,” which reinforces both your point of view and your reality of not having money. If what you'd actually like is more money, then instead ask a question, for example “What will it take for more money to show up in my life?” Questions will always help you see how you can create the change you're looking for. So every time you catch yourself in the act of saying want (you can also add why, try, need, but, never, and because to the list of words to leave behind) stop, smile, ask“What question could I ask here instead, that would help me create what I'd really like?”

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Day 42

Words to leave behind: why, try, need, but, never and because How aware are you of the words you use every day? Listen to yourself today, and notice the number of times you use these words: why, try, need, but, never, because. Where do why questions go? Round in circles? Nowhere? Listen to kids: “Why is it cold? It's winter. Why is it winter? That's the seasons. Why do we have seasons?...” and so on. Need, try, but, and never are all lies. Do you really need anything? No. The world is an abundant place; need is the lie that it isn't. Can you really try to pick up a glass of water? No. You either do or you don't. But negates everything you just said (“Your work is really good, but...”). Never is the lie that you can't create time to suit you, when you could if you liked. Because tells you all the spurious reasons and justifcations you give yourself for not doing something, when you really could if you chose. If you'd like to expand your possibilities, eliminate these words and their energy. Instead ask “What else is possible?” 48

Day 43

How many people can I annoy with my exuberance today? Have you ever been told you're too loud, too active, too energetic, too happy, too full of life and could you TURN IT DOWN or PUT A LID ON IT? Did you feel bad about it? Did you make you feel wrong? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if some people simply didn't get your energy, your exuberant expression of life? What if your energy and exuberance was an awesome capacity, a phenomenal talent? A gift the world needs? If you'd like to remind yourself that your energy and exuberance is not wrong, and that some people will simply not get you and become annoyed, ask “How many people can I annoy with my exuberance today?”

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Day 44

If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose? How often do you limit your choices, before you even consider them, by deciding you don't have the time or the money? Time and money are two reasons people will always give for not doing something. What if you took them out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? To fnd out, ask “If time and money weren't the issue, what would I choose?” Once you are clear on your true desire, you can ask other questions to make it happen, for example •

“What will it take for the money/a babysitter to show up?”

•

“What will it take for my parents/spouse/boss/other to give me the time/money to do this thing I'd really love to do?”

Make sure you ask for more than you think you want, or can even imagine, without incurring hardship, by adding “...with ease, or something greater?”

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Day 45

What's the value of hanging on to this? Something not working in your life? Feeling unhappy or stuck? Do you see yourself as a victim and without hope? Do you think you're hard up and done over by someone? Are these points of view limiting you, preventing you from creating the life you'd really like? Would you like to change? People stay in the role of the mournful victim all the time because it has some value for them. For example, it gives them the attention they desire, it's comfortable, they've decided it's the only way of getting out of something they'd rather not do, in the hope that it will force someone else to behave differently, and many more reasons they've decided are valuable to them. On the other hand, some people simply don't realize they have the choice to change. Was that you? Now you know you can choose, would you like to? If so ask “What's the value of hanging on to this?” If it has no value, you would hang on to it for what reason?

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Day 46

What do I love about this? If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?" How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all? Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again (for example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all)? When something is not working for you, frst get clear on what parts of it you love. Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to fnd something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?" When you become clear what you love about something, and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change, you will no longer be weighed down by it. Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it.

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Day 47

Who does this belong to? Do you ever get into a funk? An emotional crankypants upset, a spiral of worry and panic, or an out-ofsorts food of tears, when you simply don't feel yourself? What if what you were feeling was not actually yours? These days we take for granted the invisible transmission of information via WiFi and mobile phones. What about us? Don't we also transmit information – thoughts, feelings and emotion – invisibly and soundlessly too? Like when you walk into a room and know exactly who's just had a fght and who's having a secret affair? So when you feel emotionally out-of-sorts, ask “Who does this belong to? Me or someone else?” If the feeling lightens, you'll know it's not yours and you can “Return to sender with consciousness.” And if you fnd it is yours, ask another question like “What's the value of holding on to this?” You can change anything if you choose. 53

Day 48

No judgment, no discrimination, no discernment Would you like to create the life you'd truly like? Then step out of judgment and into awareness. What's the difference? Judgement is a fxed point of view, that you will die to prove right. You will often feel emotional heat, a useful way to sense the difference. Awareness is an interesting point of view you can change with ease. Judgements – regardless of whether they're good or bad – will serve only to control and limit you. Awareness gives you access to infnite possibilities. If you'd like to be free of limitation, repeat as often as required “Everything, even my/their strongest opinion, is just an interesting point of view.” If you dare, follow up with “What am I aware of that, if I chose it, would be the greatest contribution to my life and living?”

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Day 49

Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone How often have you shared your excitement about something with someone, only to have them pour cold water over you saying things like “Really? That was an odd thing to do!” or “You did what? Don't you know it's not going to work because of A, B C...Z?”, and even “OMG how stupid could you be???” How was that? Not much fun? What happened to your excitement and joy? Did you start doubting yourself, thinking that you really must be stupid? And defnitely wrong? Just because someone else doesn't get it, doesn't mean you don't. What if you knew a whole lot more than most people? At least you know what's fun for you. How would anyone else know that? So when you are enjoying yourself or have a great new idea, remind yourself you know that you know. And say “Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone.” And if you do share your joy with someone and they don't get it, smile and thank them for their “interesting point of view.” 55

Day 50

Is this an ELF or a rattlesnake? Do you know people who sometimes say or do not-sonice things? Does this upset you and leave you scratching your head, wondering why they would do or say that? Are they an ELF or a rattlesnake? An ELF is an evil little freak (or other word starting with F) who simply enjoys being mean for fun. A rattlesnake is designed by nature to bite you when it feels threatened. That's just what they are. When you make them wrong and get sucked into the trauma and drama of what they do, they are controlling your life. As long as you see them for what they are, in total allowance, you are totally empowered. Total allowance means you appreciate them as an ELF or rattlesnake. That's just who they are. Then you are free to enjoy their great parts. So when people like this show up in your life, ask (silently) “Truth, is this an ELF or a rattlesnake?” This will remind you that no matter what they say or do, it has nothing to do with you, and you don't need to buy it as real. 56

Day 51

What is this? Stuck on something? Feeling off? Someone up your nose? You can change all of these things if you'd like. It's just a choice. If you're having trouble clearing something out of your system, it might be that the issue is not what you think it is. For example, your mum always offers you a slice of cake when you come around to visit, even though you have told her 1000 times you don't eat cake. And what happens? You get cranky, feel bad, and have a miserable time. Is the issue that you don't like a) your mum, b) cake, c) people not remembering what you said, or d) you having buttons that are easily pushed? How often do you get stuck on something and can't clear it, because you're distracted by what appears to be the issue, but isn't? So next time, frst clarify exactly what that something is by asking “What is this?” This will make sure the next questions you ask will be targeting the right thing! 57

Day 52

What is this? Would I like to change it? To unstick stickiness in your life, frst get clear on exactly what you are stuck on by asking “What is this?” Once you are clear on the issue, then you can get clear on whether you really would like to change it or not. How often have you been unable to change something because somewhere, deep down (or even just under the surface), you really didn't desire change? If you prefer not to change, that's OK. When you get clear on that, you'll be free from the stress of trying to change something continuously to no effect. Perhaps you thought you needed to change it because someone told you you had to? On the other hand, if you would like to change something, you can, as long as you're willing to do whatever it takes. Are you willing? To fnd out ask “Would I like to change it?” Whenever you fnd you can't create the change you'd like, it's because you are unwilling to do or be something.

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Day 53

Would I like to change it? If so, how? To change something, frst get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking “What is this?” Next ask “Would I like to change it?” To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes. Then you can ask “If so, how?” Can you change anyone else? No. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, your mum always offers you cake, even though you have told her 1000 times you don't like cake. So what else is possible? Visit at a different time (no cake at breakfast?). Call in advance and tell her you hope she has cake when you visit (she might just do the opposite, you never know). Notice your buttons and smile when your mum pushes them. Or smile and think your mum's cute when she forgets things, saying “Thanks so much, mum. I'd love a piece of cake.” Just because you take it, doesn't mean you have to eat it. There are magical ways for cake to disappear, along with crankiness and misery.

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Day 54

How much fun can I have today? Do you ever ask this question? Or do you usually wake up and think “How much do I have to get done today?” Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you do get done, your To Do list never ends? How does that feel? Light and breezy, or like a dead weight on your back? What if you could create everything in your life – including all the normal day-to-day stuff like vacuuming and ferrying kids to and from school – and have fun at the same time? You won't know till you ask for it, so start by asking “How much fun can I have today?” What if by enjoying every moment of your life you could get more done than you'd ever imagined, and faster? How much fun would that be?

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Day 55

What does this add to my life? Do you use drugs of any kind? Hard drugs, prescription, tobacco or alcohol to excessive amounts? Do you have any other compulsive behavior, for example with food, exercise or helping people, or feeling bad, that you think you can't change? What does this behavior add to your life? Do you use it to dull or heighten your awareness about something? Does it free you from pain, physical, emotional or intellectual? Does it create a space where you feel more you? How real is that awareness, freedom and space? Completely, or not at all? What if you could create real, total awareness, freedom and space which does not rely on anything but you? If you'd like to fnd out, ask “What does this add to my life, and what information do I require that would empower me to create that in other ways?” Visit www.thebradfordsystemofrightrecovery.com for more information. 61

Day 56

What am I grateful for today? Listen to what people talk about. What percentage is a complaint or a problem? Ninety-nine percent? Or more? Did you know that you get more of what you focus your attention on? So if you'd like fewer problems and more joy in life, inject a little gratitude into your conversation. Crinkle someone's universe by saying something like “Wow I'm so grateful for that awesomely tough deadline today! It just made me laugh it was so tight!” or “I am really grateful for him lying to me straight away, because now I know that's what he might do and I won't get caught out!” or “How did we get so lucky with the blue sky today – how much fun can we have?” What if you found one thing to be grateful for every day and told someone? Perhaps you'll surprise them and they'll stop complaining mid-stream? You may even infect them with gratitude and spread it to others? Or you may just have giggle on your own. So ask, “What am I grateful for today?” 62

Day 57

What am I grateful to them for? Are you frustrated or upset by anyone in your life? Is someone driving you crazy? Are they too loud, too bossy, too faky, too up-down-turn-around, too [fll in your pet peeve here___________________________]. Would you like more ease in your life when you're around them (assuming you have to, or would like to be around them)? If so, ask “What am I grateful to them for?” and acknowledge them for that. There will always be at least one thing, if not more. Parents who drive you nuts, and are always there to help you with your kids. A friend who is predictably unpredictable, and has shown you people function differently. A lover who picks insane fghts, and is great at....um....other things. When you acknowledge someone for who they are, and are grateful for their great bits, you are free and empowered to make the most of the great bits, without being at the effect of the rest.

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Day 58

Who am I being now? Do you fnd yourself behaving in way that is, well, not quite you? Like getting really cranky, crying like a madwoman, throwing a foor-fst-banging tantrum, picking a fght, or otherwise doing something you know is crazy and not you, but you can't seem to help it? What if it wasn't you? To fnd out, ask “Who am I being now?” We pick up all sorts of stuff from those around us, from our parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone. This question reminds you that maybe it really isn't you. Then you can ask “If I were me, who would I be?” If you're a parent, try it with your kids. Are they mad as hell or being drama queens? Ask them gently without heat “Who are you being now?” (Don't be surprised if they reply “YOU!!”) Then ask “If you were you, who would you be?” and listen. At the very least it might crinkle their universe and stop the drama spiral for a second or two. At best, their whole life might change. 64

Day 59

What if I created my life from chaos? Are you addicted to organisation, to designing the perfect system, to keeping the perfect house? I was. And I was REALLY good at it. Trouble was, I also got irritated – downright cranky – when the ducks didn't line up and the kittens didn't herd. Know that feeling? Then I looked at nature. The most highly functional and effcient systems exist in apparent chaos. Do fowers grow (naturally) in neat rows? No. And yet the bees fnd them, pollinate them, and contribute elegantly to sustaining life on the planet. What if you were like a bee? What if, regardless of the apparent chaos, you could fnd the fowers, and contribute awesomely to your life? So ask “What if I created my life from chaos?” I'm not suggesting you create random, artifcial chaos. Simply that even if things appear messy, you need not be at their mercy if you can see where to collect the pollen.

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Day 60

What decisions & conclusions have I made about this? Is something in your life stuck and you can't seem to shift it? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it. For example, what have you decided in your life is perfect or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible. So when you're stuck, ask “What decisions, conclusions and answers have I made about this?” This does not mean you have to end the relationship, or job, or business. You can transform it into something else, something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Ask another question.

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Day 61

Cute, Not Bright Do you sometimes do things that, well, just don't work out? In fact, you create complete rubbish? When you do this, do you default to how bad, wrong, terrible and awful you are? Yes, you're a failure, just like they always said you were. How does that feel? Does it help you at all? Probably not. So what if instead, you acknowledged that you can be an awesome creator of rubbish. Say “Gee, I'm cute, but not bright!” Then laugh and ask “What's right about this I'm not getting?” and “What else is possible?” If you can create magnifcent rubbish, you can undoubtedly create magnifcent magnifcence too. You just have to ask and take notice. What's the value of making yourself wrong anyway? It's much more fun to be Cute Not Bright.

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Day 62

What's funny about this I'm not getting? Suffering? In pain? Frustrated? Someone doing you wrong? Rather than going into the no good, wrong, trauma and drama default, ask “What's funny about this I'm not getting?” For example, have you ever tried to do a pull up? Even with an elastic support band it's pretty tough going. Did you feel weak and pathetic? Were you in pain? What if you laughed at yourself hanging there about as useful as a rubber chicken? What's funny? Um rubber chicken. What about a relationship that's on a wash cycle of wring-your-heart-dry? What's funny about that? Gotta be something. Even if it's to laugh at yourself for pushing the same old wring-me-out-now button and expecting a different result. Cute, Not Bright. What's great about laughing? It boosts your oxygen and feel good body bits and kicks you out of the selfpity spiral. Are you willing to see more of life's funny side?

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Day 63

What am I sick and tired of? Are you often ill or exhausted? Do you have aches and pains that baffe the doctors? Baffe you? Before you start on a carousel of drug-taking to see if you can alleviate the symptoms, ask “What am I sick and tired of?” Maybe it's the drudgery of housework? The tedium of the offce? Having people always ask you to do things for them? Whatever that is for you, whenever you think of that something and it makes you groan and slump, ask “What else is possible?” and “How can I change this?” Perhaps you could hire a housekeeper? Change jobs? Say “no”? If you have trouble saying no, practice this, with a smile, in the mirror every morning “I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me right now.” What if spending money on a housekeeper, changing jobs, or upsetting someone by politely saying no, saved you money in trips to the doctors, and even your life?

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Day 64

If I didn't think, what would I know? Do you ever think yourself into a knotty ball of confusion? Listing all the pros and cons, collecting reams of background info which you analyze to death from all angles, trying to fgure out what to do? To get it Right. Whether it's which subject to study, job to take, car to buy, or who is The One? Do you enjoy this process? Is it as fast and easy as you'd like? And how does it usually work out? If you don't enjoy it and would prefer a faster, easier – and dare I say it more reliable for you – approach, next time you fnd yourself embarking on a thought journey into the abyss ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?” You know those moments when you just know something? It feels right and light to you (even though others think you're crazy)? Only you can know what's right for you. Are you willing to trust you more? Life might become a whole lot easier.

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Day 65

If other people's points of view weren't real, what would I choose? How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve? “My husband/wife wouldn't agree,” “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think?” Worrying about what other people think is one of the main reasons you will give for not doing something. What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? Ask “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” How many of the world's science, social, cultural and business innovation and even new lands (you know, the world is no longer fat), were created by people doing what they loved, no matter what other people thought was real, true, or possible. What could be possible for you if you listened more to you?

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Day 66

Great idea! Now or in the future? Do you have lots of great ideas for business and life in general? Do you get enthusiastic and pour loads of energy into them, but nothing seems to happen? Then to top it off, someone ELSE comes out with the same idea a bit later and it's a hit! Does that get you down? What if you were just too quick for the rest of the world? What if you were having ideas that are perfect for 1, 5 or even 10 years in the future? So when you get a great idea, ask “Now or in the future?” Then notice what feels light, now or in the future. Remember, if it's light, it's right for you. If it's in the future, write your idea down in a Special Ideas Notebook and re-visit it from time to time. This is a great way to nurture and contribute energy to your godzillion ideas when the time is right.

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Day 67

Who or what can I be or do today that will contribute to my business? Do you have your own business? Do you get caught up in all the things you think you have to do to be successful and help it grow? Do you run out of steam and worry about what you should be doing when things don't seem to be going so well? When that happens, pause and ask “Who or what can I be or do today that will contribute to my business?” Whatever awareness you have, notice it. Even if it seems strange – for example, go and get a massage when you think you should be doing your accounts – check how light it feels. If it's light, it's right remember? You never know where your awareness will lead you, and who or what you may meet on the way.

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Day 68

When did I buy the point of view that I was no good? Do you get how awesome you are? No? Do you think you're, at best, just not good enough and at worst, a hopeless, lost, good-for-nothing pile of rubbish? Is that your point of view or someone else's? If you're not clear ask “When did I buy the point of view that I was no good?” Then return that point of view to sender (to your mum? your dad? a teacher? the school bully? a friend?) with consciousness. What if there were nothing wrong with you? What's right about you that you're not getting? What if you were just different and awesome in ways other people simply don't yet get?

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Day 69

No competition Are you compelled to always try your hardest to win, be right, better than, or different to anyone else? Or at least not to appear to lose or to be wrong? How's that working for you? Is it fun? Or do you feel trapped in a race for which you don't seem equipped and are never enough? Are you frozen by the fear of failure? What if competition was not real? Are you the same as anyone else? No. So how can an apple and a nightingale compete? Only by both becoming something else that they're not. So if you feel limited, frustrated or frozen by the rules of a race that doesn't exist, ask “What's the value of buying into competition as real?” Then ask “What is the greatest contribution I can be to my life, family, business and communities?” That's the generative kind of competition, which is all about being more of you.

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Day 70

I am hanging on to this for what reason? Got clutter in your life? Are some things – a job or relationships – piling up and weighing you down? How often do you hang on to things that you know deep down you'd really rather let go? How much of your must-hang-onto-this comes from what you think other people will say? Obligations you imagine you have that may not be true? What could you create as your life if you no longer clung to things that you don't truly desire? If you'd like to de-clutter and create more space, ask “I am hanging on to this for what reason?” If it feels light to let it go, thank it and send it off on a new adventure with consciousness.

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Day 71

Body, what are you telling me? Got a pain? Feeling sick? Have you put your body in the hands of 1000 doctors and other experts and still don't know what's wrong? Have you asked your body? What if it knew more than anyone? What if pain was simply your body screaming at you to listen? It might start out as a slight twinge or ache – your body saying “Excuse me, I need something” – which if you ignore becomes a nagging discomfort “HELLO – I REALLY need something” – until fnally your body screams in pain “HEY YOU! I NEED SOME ATTENTION NOW OR ELSE!!!!” So before that happens ask “Body, what are you telling me?” Once you start listening to your body, keep asking questions like “What information do I need? Who do I need to speak to?” until you discover what your body is asking for.

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Day 72

What if happiness were just a choice? Down in the dumps? Got a long list of reasons why your life is no-good and the world sucks? Sure, it's easy to get this way. This is how most of the world functions: default to moan and groan. If you're not convinced, sneak a listen to random conversations around town. Would you like to default differently? Then choose to be happy. What if it really were that simple? Ask “What if happiness were just a choice?” and smile. What can you do when things go 'wrong'? Ask another question like “What's right about this that I'm not getting” and smile again. What if your smile alone invited others to a different default?

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Day 73

What's the value of being sad? Always feeling down? Can't seem to shift the blues? Perhaps there something about being sad that actually works for you? It may help you ft in with others around you. It may deliver attention you crave. Or it may simply fll in your emptiness and distract you from the rest of life. This is not wrong and you are welcome to keep sadness if it truly works for you. If it doesn't and you'd rather be happy, then know you can ask for it. Until you ask a question you may simply not be aware that somewhere, somehow you value sadness, for whatever reason. Are you ready for change? Then ask "What value does sadness have to me?"

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Day 74

A brain is a wonderful thing to waste How much of the world today is focused on brain power? A lot or a little? Do you feel inadequate? Do you feel you're not smart enough, quick enough, or that you don't have enough information packed into your tiny grey cells and you really should spend all day in the library or on the internet sucking up more? Does your brain really hold the answers to your life that you're looking for? Or is your brain a tiny part of you, and what you're seeking lies somewhere else? If your brain really had the power to fgure out your life, wouldn't it already have done so? If you'd like to access more of what you already know, acknowledge a brain is a wonderful thing to waste and ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?”

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Day 75

What if I didn't need to prove myself to anyone? How much of what you do everyday is driven by your desire to be acknowledged and validated? Are you always seeking someone's approval, consciously or unconsciously? Do you ever get it? Probably not as often as you'd like. And what then? Do you try even harder to be seen? If this is not fun and you fnd you're doing things you don't really enjoy, hoping to please someone else, ask “What if I didn't need to prove myself to anyone?” What if you were absolutely awesome just as you are and did not need anyone else to approve you? Would that make life easier and more fun?

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Day 76

Do not listen to, tell or buy the story What do people talk about? Ever heard a story or two million? How often do you hear the same story told different ways, as if to prove the polar opposite of another? How much of your life do you spend listening to – or even telling – stories, only to become confused about what is real and true? What if none of it were real or true? What if all stories were simply interesting points of view? Would that create less trauma and drama in your life? Would it be easier for you to create the life you'd really like, rather than trying to fgure out from the stories what life you should be creating? If you'd like to be free, practice these magic words “I choose not to listen to, tell or buy the story.” Sure you can enjoy a story for the heck of it. At the end, you could say “Wow, that was a terrifc story! I'm amazed that you are still sane” followed by anything to change the subject. Try a little gratitude. That's been known to crinkle a universe or two. 82

Day 77

What could I be doing differently? Are you stuck in a destructive cycle of up-down-updown-win-lose-win-lose with someone? Can you see the precise disconnect between you and the other person, and how the situation could improve so simply and easily if you both changed a little of this and a little of that? Truth, can you ever change anyone else? No. The only thing you can change is you. You are the only one that can cut your mobius strip of confict. Are you willing to stop hanging on to your point of view that you can change someone? Sometimes change is possible only when you let things go. So if you'd like to extract yourself from a cycle of struggle, ask “What could I be doing differently that would contribute to the change I desire?”

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Day 78

What if there were nothing wrong with my past? Do you ever get stuck on something that happened in your past? Whether it was yesterday, last week, last year, or 50 years ago? When you say to yourself “If only A, B, C hadn't happened I'd have been X, Y, Z better off? Does that help you? When you have that conversation with yourself do you feel lighter or heavier? Does regretting, blaming or shaming your past help you create the life you'd like now? And truth, can you ever change your past? If you'd like to be free of the concrete shoes you've made, ask “What if there were nothing wrong with my past?” What if everything you have ever been, done, said, worn, studied, worked, loved, hated had been exactly right to create the you you are now? Then ask “Am I willing to let it go and ask what would I like to create as my life and living now?

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Day 79

What am I unwilling to receive? Are the things you'd truly like not showing up in your life? Even though you are (select any and all that apply): smart, educated, articulate, hard working, diligent, polite, kind, good looking, well connected, in the zone, [enter your own talents here _________________________], and generally have everything going for you? Do you have any of these points of view? I can/should do everything myself. I should be self-suffcient/selfmade. Handouts are wrong. I know best. Everyone else is stupid. I can't rely on anyone else? Even if you can do everything yourself, better than anyone, having these points of view, will cut off your ability to receive from anyone or anything. If your point of view is “I don't need anything from anyone,” then that's what you'll create. So if you'd like to create the things in your life that you've been asking for but have not yet shown up, ask “What am I unwilling to receive?”

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Day 80

I'm sorry, I'm confused Have you ever noticed that you're a little too smart or too fast for most people? What you get in a heartbeat, others can take minutes or even years to get, if ever? Does it frustrate you when people you hire don't get what you hired them to do? Sometimes it's most effective to be Cute Not Bright, even though you're not. Instead of fighting to be heard or understood, play Blonde and ask “I'm sorry. I'm confused. I thought A, B, C and here is X Y Z. What do you know? Can you help me understand?” Practice saying this authentically with a pure, innocent blonde energy; it won't work using your natural morepowerful-than-a-locomotive vibe. Keep asking Dumb And Confused questions to gently lead the other person to tell you what you already know, but which they would never admit if you challenged them. The aim is not to prove you're right and they're wrong. This is a tool to help you get the result you desire, with the greatest ease.

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Day 81

What have I decided is a problem? Got problems? Do you like them? Does it give you something to chat about with your friends, a puzzle to solve? What if you didn't have problems? What could you enjoy using the time and energy you now pour into problem solving? If you'd like to fnd out, ask “What have I decided is a problem, which if I looked at it differently is something to be thankful for?” For example, rather than being upset that your boss is not hands on and doesn't want to hear about or get involved in your projects, be grateful you have the freedom to run them the way you like. So next time you fnd yourself complaining about something weighing you down, rather than trying to fx the problem (make it a better problem?), what if you looked at it differently and transformed it into something else?

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Day 82

Body, who or what is this? What if your body was a whole lot smarter than you ever gave it credit for? What if its aches and pains were telling you much more than what vitamins and minerals you need? You know the feeling of heartbreak? It's a very real physical ache. People have died from it. What about other physical symptoms? Find out by asking “Body, who or what •

am I sick to the stomach of?” (tummy problems)

•

is weighing me down?” (upper back)

•

is getting under my skin?” (skin irritations)

•

giving me the shits?” (fairly obvious)

•

am I not willing to swallow any more?” (throat issues)

•

is a pain in the butt/neck?” (lower back/neck)

•

is playing with my heart?” (heart palpitations)

•

am I dying to get away from?” (worsening conditions)

Who or what comes to mind? Now ask another question. 88

Day 83

What's the value of helping people? Do you like helping people? Is is important to you? What is it about helping people you enjoy? Do you feel worthy? Does it make you feel valued and valuable? What don't you enjoy? Are you frustrated when you give your best to someone but they don't seem to want it or appreciate it? Do you fnd that no matter how much you help people, some simply never seem to change? There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people. It's awesome. Empowering people to know they can change anything in their lives is a gift. Just know that even when you do your best, people will choose what they choose, and it's got nothing to do with you. People choose what they do because somewhere, somehow, they like it. If you'd like to get clear about why and how you can help people with greater ease ask “What's the value of helping people?”

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Day 84

What am I making having this about? What have you made the answer to your life? Relationship? “When I fnd The One I'll be happy.” Money? “When I have $X in the bank I'll be secure.” Property? “When I buy my own house I'll be a Real Man.” Work? “When I get that job my parents will see I'm successful.” Will these things in themselves make you feel happy, secure, validated or successful? Or does your point of view create your reality? If you didn't have the point of view you lacked something, would you feel dissatisfed and unhappy? So when you're feeling less than or dissatisfed with your life as it is, and you hear yourself repeating “When I have X, I'll be Y” or “If only I had X, I'd be Y” ask “What am I making having X about?” Then notice what the real target of your desire is (Y) and ask “What will it take to be Y now?”

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Day 85

What am I unwilling to ask for? How well do people read what's in your mind and heart? Are you frustrated that no one gets you? Not even (or especially!) your mum or insignificant other? How much attention do people pay to you and to what you say out loud (let alone notice what's buried deeper down)? Or do they usually focus on what they have already decided you should be or do, for your own good (which means, for them)? And how willing are you to tell others what you require or desire? A lot, a little, or not at all? When did you decide that you couldn't ask for things for you? How many people have told you that choosing for you is selfish (so just do what they tell you, for them...)? Can you truly contribute to anyone else if you don't first wholly contribute to you? So ask “What am I unwilling to ask for, that if I did ask for it would be the greatest contribution to me and my communities?”

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Day 86

What does relationship mean to me? Are you in a relationship? How's it going? Perhaps you're looking to change an existing one, or create a new one? Start by getting clear on your defnition. What words do you use to describe your preferred one? Honor, trust, vulnerability, gratitude, allowance, gift/receive, communion, contribution, generative, generosity of spirit, gratitude, joy, fun, freedom? Words like serious, promise, love, commitment, respect, responsibility, give/take, protect, maintain, keep, right/wrong, meaningful, obligation, security, compromise? Or perhaps others? Which words feel light? Which feel heavy? There is no correct answer, just an awareness of your preferences. If you don't have the relationship you'd like now, you may be using a defnition that doesn't match what you truly desire. So get clear and create what you'd like, rather that what others tell you is right, ask “What does relationship mean to me?”

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Day 87

What title am I limiting myself to? What title have you decided you must have to be valued? Girl/ boyfriend? Husband/wife? Mother/father? Community leader? Volunteer? Best friend? Executive? Director? CEO? Master chef? Business person of the year? Dux? No. 1? Sir? Ma'am? Professor? [Insert your ideal title here_____________________]. Will a title make you into the person you'd like to be? Does not having it make you less? Or do you create you, regardless – and often in spite of – your title and other people's opinions? When someone gives you a title do you automatically become that? Have you ever had a boss/friend/spouse who wasn't? Did their titles automatically make them what you desired? And what if by accepting a title you limited yourself to what other people decided was right/wrong for that role, which may not work for you? What if even without any title, you are totally awesome? So ask “What title am I limiting myself to, that if I didn't would allow me to see and create the life I truly desire?” 93

Day 88

Is this distracting me? Do you feel trapped or frozen by any of these: blame, shame, regret, guilt, anger, rage, fury, hate, love, sex, jealousy, doubt, fear, or relationship, business, life, living, death, reality, or addictive, compulsive, obsessive or perverted points of view? Are they real and true? Or are they designed to control and distract you from creating the life you'd really like? Take blame, for example. Is it real? Or is it an interesting point of view? Do you function as though it's real by buying into the idea that “someone must take the blame” and then become distracted by the trauma and drama searching for someone to blame, or defecting or excusing the blame? What if instead you recognized distractions and saw the infnite possibilities beyond? If you'd like to be free of such control, next time you notice you're being distracted from what you'd actually like to be and do, ask “Is this [insert your item, for example blame] distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?”

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Day 89

No exclusion What have you decided you do not want in your life? People who lie, cheat and steal? Unreliable and fakey people? Bossy and know-it-all people? What else? How much energy do you spend judging people in an effort to keep certain things out of your life? Does it ever work? Is it fun for you? Does it expand your life in ways you'd like? If not, rather than judging and excluding, be in allowance and inclusive. When you exclude, you defne the limits of what you are willing to receive and shut off your access to infnite possibilities. So when you notice you're trying to avoid someone, ask “What am I excluding here, that if I were to be in allowance of would contribute to my life in ways I can't yet imagine?” Will this put you at the mercy people? No. When you are aware and inclusive you will see what's going on and how to choose the bits that work for you. As a result, they may exclude you from their lives, because you're no longer fun for them. 95

Day 90

What contribution could I be here? How do you function in life? From the give and take, mustn't be selfsh, must-be-responsible-do-my-dutiesand-fulfll-my-obligations standard operating procedure of this reality? Is that fun? And do you really give it your best? Or do you engage half-heartedly and do the least you can get away with? Would you like to change that and enjoy wholeheartedly every interaction you have with the world? Start here. Are you willing to nurture and care for you? Are you willing to let go of everything you think you have to be or do that other people tell you is real and important? Are you willing to see your talents and abilities? Are you willing to gift and receive freely, with no expectation of what it means? Are you willing to be the contribution you are by being you? Then ask “What contribution could I be here?” When you are not confned by must be/ do/ haves, you create space to be and contribute all and more of you.

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Day 91

Be you and change the world Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't ft in? You must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, TV has told you you should be? Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you – just as you are – was exactly right? What if it were more than ok? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong? What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to fnd out, ask “If I were me, who would I be?” and “What's right about me I'm not getting?” What if you could be you and change the world?

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All of life comes to me with ease & joy & glory®

Daily mantra Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance? Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fght to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. What if that were not true? If you'd like to fnd out what else is possible add this daily mantra to your wake up routine. “All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory.”® Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what occurs. Even when “things go wrong” you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire. It’s all of life, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing has to be a diffculty. You always have another choice.

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10 keys to total freedom When you get stuck or would like to change anything in your life try one of these keys frst. 1.

Ask “Would an infnite being truly choose this?”.....15

2.

Everything is just an interesting point of view. 23

3.

Live in 10 second increments............................28

4.

Live in the question (instead of the answer)....33

5.

No form, no structure, no signifcance.............38

6.

No judgment, discrimination or discernment . .54

7.

No drugs of any kind........................................61

8.

No competition.................................................. 75

9.

Do not listen to, tell or buy the story................82

10. No exclusion...................................................... 95

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My favorite Qs These are my all time favorite questions. Do they work? Play with them and see what else you can create in your life. How does it get any better than this?®....................7 Ask for a greater outcome than you could possibly imagine. Are things bad? They can certainly improve. Are things good? They can always get better. How did I get so lucky?............................................8 When the good stuff shows up in your life, this is a great way to express your thanks and to invite more of it your way. What else is possible?®.............................................9 When everything seems to be “no” ask “OK, got it. What else is possible?” It's amazing what people will reply when you ask. What's right about this that I'm not getting?........10 What if there was nothing wrong with anything? What if there was only another possibility? Would your life be easier and more fun? What's the value of looking for the wrong in things anyway?

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What's right about me that I'm not getting?.........11 Just because people don't get you, that doesn't make you wrong. What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if you were just different? Can I change this? If so, how?...............................17 Sometimes things won't change no matter what you do. This question helps you see you can step around, walk away, dig under or fy over the brick wall, rather than keep banging your head against it. What question could I be asking here?..................33 For when your brain freezes and you can't think of a question.

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About the Questionnaire Mary-Jane Liddicoat is a former Australian diplomat who has lived, studied and worked in Australia, Asia, Europe and the Middle East. In 2010, Mary-Jane changed course leaving government administration to facilitate others to create greater health and happiness, based on what she discovered on her own journey. Mary-Jane is a member of the International Institute of Complimentary Therapists and qualifed as a licensed Access Consciousness® Certifed Facilitator of Managed Wellness. She is also a regular contributor to the Korean media, including as featured Lifestyle Coach on TBSe FM radio and with MJ's Daily Q column on www.indaily.co.kr. Mary-Jane lives between Korea and Australia with her three children. For more information visit www.mary-jane.co and www.consciousliving.asia.

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About Access Consciousness

®

Access Consciousness® is a simple set of tools, techniques and philosophies that allow you to create dynamic change in every area of your life, with your body and with yourself. The priority of Access Consciousness® is to empower you to generate the life you'd really like. Founded by Gary Douglas in 1990 and expanding with the added co-creation of Dr. Dain Heer over the last 11 years, Access Consciousness® is now available in over 45 countries throughout the world. For more information and to fnd classes and facilitators near you, visit www.accessconsciousness.com.

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More information Would you like this book in another format? This book is available in paperback, ebook and audio (MP3) formats. Visit www.thedailyq.co/q-shop.html Would you like more questions? Is work, business, study, family, relationships, money, body, health or anything in your life not working how you'd prefer and you'd like to shift the places you're stuck? Are looking for change? Or did change fnd you? Perhaps you'd simply like something greater, or more fun in life? Subscribe to The Daily Q at www.thedailyq.co Would you like to talk to someone? Visit www.accessconsciousness.com and search for a facilitator closest to you. Would you like to talk to The Questionnaire? Just ask at www.mary-jane.co. Would you like to ask a question or tell us something? We love hearing from you. Send us your thoughts and questions at www.thedailyq.co/contact-us.html 104