32920286 the Giving Tree

Sessler/ THE GIVING TREE

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CHAPTER 1 -- COMING HOME

Allison McFarland shuttered, as she splashed the icy cold water on her face. Got to wake up, she mumbled to herself. It’s going to be a long day…and it’s already been a very long night. Her mother, Mary McFarland, drifted in and out of a restless, painful sleep until the pain medication finally kicked in around 4 in the morning. By then, it was pointless for Allison to try and get back to sleep. She had to be up at 6 anyway and the two hours would only serve to make her feel worse. Allison turned on the shower and lingered, as the hot water soothed the aching muscles in her neck that screamed for sleep. Her body longed to luxuriate in a hot, steamy, bubble bath, but she knew that was a pipe dream. Perhaps she could persuade Jenny to come spend the night and spell her in the next few days. Not likely, she thought, glumly. And after all, there didn’t seem to be much time left anyway. The cancer that mercilessly ate away at Mary McFarland’s body had reached the terminal stage many months ago, when Allison decided to temporarily give up her job in the city and come home to be with her mother. They had always been close and Allison was not about to let 1

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her mother die in a cold, sterile hospital room. Her sister, Jenny already had her hands overfull, what with John and the twins. Much as she loved her mother, Jenny just didn’t have the time or extra energy required to care for their dying mother. Truth be told, Allison felt a small amount of jealousy for the frenetic pace of Jenny’s life that was separated from the smell of death that surrounded her mother. Not that being besieged by a husband and two active three year olds was anything that Allison ever envied before. She knew that she just wasn’t the maternal type. Allison’s idea of success, for herself that is, lay in the city, sitting at a high-powered meeting with an assistant running to do her bidding. Up until now, however, she was the one doing the running and it was her boss doing the bidding. Well, there would be plenty of time to get back to it…after; after it was over at home. For now, Allison would be here to help ease her mother to as comfortable a death as possible. Every day, the hospice nurse would come and bathe Mary, give her a back rub and evaluate her pain and the medications that seemed to be losing their effectiveness. Allison was told that the next step would be a morphine pump. She knew that once that happened, her mother would be drifting in and out of consciousness, until she slipped into the final coma. There was so little time left and as weary as she was, Allison was not ready to let her mother go yet. And then there was Angela, God bless her. Sweet Angela Federico from next door would stay with her mother on the days Allison went to work as the fill-in, part-time administrative assistant to Pastor Henry at Maplewood’s Grace Christian Church. It 2

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sounded like an impressive title, particularly if you were given to being impressed by titles, but basically it was just a glorified secretary. She started working for Pastor Henry, as more of a favor that anything. Betty Cooper had been church secreta…administrative assistant for 35 years. She was known as the church’s right hand woman. Without her, Pastor Henry, as well as those who went before him, would never have survived. With swift and merciless precision, Betty ran the office, as well as Pastor Henry. When she abruptly gave her notice to move to Florida to care for an ailing sister, Pastor Henry was left reeling. Who on earth would take her place? Who on earth could take her place? Who on earth would want to? Allison laughed to herself and ran a hand through her hair as she realized that God truly must have a sense of humor. As she slipped on the tailored navy blue dress that fit in perfectly in the city, but seemed just a bit too formal for Maplewood, she could feel the beginnings of a dull headache forming at the back of head. Reaching in the medicine cabinet for an aspirin, she heard her mother. “Coming, Mom,” she called out as she swallowed the pill with a handful of water from the sink. Her mother was attempting to pull herself up in bed. Her thin, bony fingers were wrapped weakly around the cold metal rail of the hospital bed that the hospice nurse arranged for, several days before. “Let me help you, Mom,” Allison said gently, as she slid her arm behind her mother’s back. She cringed as she felt her shoulder blades through the thick flannel nightgown that was damp with sweat. After propping her mother up with pillows, she went to get a 3

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washcloth to wash her face. “Angela will be here in a few minutes, Mom,” she said as she wiped the moisture from her mother’s face. Once, not so long ago, she had been a lovely woman, she thought, as she looked into the half-vacant, sunken eyes. They had been a clear sapphire color that sparkled when she was excited. Now they were a watery, dull blue filled with pain and misery. Oh God, why are you letting this happen? She is so young; this isn’t fair, she agonized. At the moment, Allison was very angry at God. Up until the time her mother took ill, she had a relatively pleasant relationship with Him. She would visit His house on most Sundays and holidays. She observed His rules and regulations, as best she could, human as she was. Allison considered herself a “good” Christian; she never lied or cheated or murdered. So why would God take her mother at such a young age and in such a cruel way? She thought it only natural that she felt angry. And the irony of it all. Here she was on her way to work at the church, leaving behind, at least temporarily, the fast track to success. She knew that her place was at her mother’s side; she was less sure that she was supposed to be working for Pastor Henry. The knock at the kitchen door rattled her back to reality. Allison went to let Angela in. She was a sight for sore eyes, literally. Angela was the only daughter of Joe and Sophia Federico, who lived in the house next to her mother for the past 25 years. Her name suited her; at 18, she had an angelic personality and nature. Graduating with honors just the week before, she had earned a full scholarship to a local nursing school that she would be starting in September. Allison doubted that her mother would linger more than a month, long before Angela would start 4

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classes. “She had a bad night,” Allison said as she put the kettle on for her mother’s tea. No matter how sick her mother felt, she would never forego her customary Earl Gray. Even when the nausea prevented her from actually drinking it, the clinking of the silver spoon in the fine bone china cup with pink flowers, would comfort her. Allison knew it brought back fond memories of when she was young and healthy. Small comfort, she thought, with a hint of bitterness. Allison watched Angela take the tea in to her mother as she picked up her car keys and purse left and set out for the church. She left instructions for Michelle Duncan, the hospice nurse to call her when she arrived, to discuss Mary’s pain meds. She didn’t think either one of them would be able to stand another night like the last one. Most of all, Allison was determined she would not let her mother suffer any more than was necessary. As she pulled into the parking lot of the church, she could feel the aspirin kicking in and the pain subside. She certainly had no right to complain after what her mother was going through. After all what was a little lack of sleep and a headache, in the grand scheme of things. “Morning, Pastor,” she said as she sat down at her desk. “You look awful, Allison,” Pastor Henry said, as he came out to her desk with a handful of papers. “Thanks, Pastor,” she said lightheartedly. She liked Jack Henry. He was kind and understanding, definitely admirable and godly qualities in a man of the cloth. Being a family man was most important to him and his children were well-loved. If she ever were to marry, it 5

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would have to be a man like Jack Henry. “Rough night with your mom?” he asked sympathetically, already knowing the answer. Allison just nodded her head, as her eyes misted up. “If there’s anything Ruth and I can do…” “Thank you, Pastor. It’s all right, really. I’m going to have the nurse start the morphine pump. Mom hasn’t wanted it up until now because it will make her sleep most of the time, but the pain is getting to be unbearable.” The phone rang as if on cue. “Good morning. Grace Christian Church, this is Allison. “Hi, Allison. It’s Michelle. Angela said for me to call.” “Hi, Michelle. Mom’s pain was pretty bad last night. We talked about it and she says she’s ready for the next step,” Allison said with sadness in her voice. “Okay, I’ll call Dr. Richards and make the arrangements. I know this very hard on you, Allison. Remember, I’m here for you, too,” Michelle said gently. “I know, Michelle and thanks. I don’t think I could get through any of this if it weren’t for you and Angela,” Allison said heavily. “I’ll be home around 2:00.” “That’s perfect. It will take me that long to get everything set up. I’ll be back with the equipment and I’ll show you how it works. I know this is tough, but she’ll be so much more comfortable.” And unconscious, Allison thought sorrowfully. After she hung up the phone, she looked through the papers Pastor Henry left on her desk. 6

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There were several letters she needed to type up immediately and the rest could be done later. Most of the correspondence was related to fund-raising. It was summertime and a good portion of those parishioners who tithed regularly mailed in their checks, even if they were away; but some of the other church-goers’ offerings dropped off due to vacations. They didn’t necessarily make up the missed weeks when they returned. It was just enough to make a small dent in the budget that required Pastor Henry to seek funds elsewhere. Fortunately for the church, he was very good at everything he did and even the tightest of wallets would usually loosen at his appeal. It was a pretty quiet morning and she was done with the work by noon. “I’m heading out to see Hazel Dearborn,” Pastor said, as he came out of his office. “Why don’t you head out and get some rest?” If only she could, she thought. He was unaware that it was more peaceful at work than it was at home. It was her only real respite and even though she was exhausted, she was enjoying the solitude. “Thanks, maybe I will,” she said, evasively. She really hoped to kick off her shoes under the desk when he was gone and have herself a good cry.

Jack Henry unrolled the windows of his car before he got in. It was just about twelve and the midday sun was high overhead. Even though it was early June, it was more humid than usual. He was glad he wore a light short-sleeve shirt under his sport coat. Hazel Dearborn was always cold, so he knew her room at the assisted living center would be stifling; the air-conditioner would be off, the window closed, and she would have a knitted shawl across her 7

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shoulders. Visiting the shut-ins was an important part of his job and he was particularly good at it. Most people disregarded the elderly, especially those who were invalids or disabled. Even most of his flock, unless it was their own family member, tended to forget about the parishioners that were unseen week after week. He always made sure that he mentioned them in weekly prayer, but only a special few took notice that it wasn’t just a cursory mention of the forgotten. And he really did understand. He was a husband and father of 3 growing kids himself and sometimes there was little enough time to give his own family, much less to a crotchety old woman constantly complaining about her rheumatism. Jack Henry wondered that if it wasn’t part of his job, would he be driving in the sweltering car to see the old woman? He’d like to think he would, but in the pit of his stomach, he suspected he might be like all the rest; good intentions, but nothing else.

Before Allison left the office, her red-brimmed eyes stinging from her release of emotions, she called her sister, Jenny. She needed to let her know about her mother’s worsening state. “Hi, Jenny.” “Hey, Allison. I was hoping to stop over tonight after John gets home. Is that okay?” Jenny could hear the exhaustion and distress in her sister’s voice. “That would be great. Mom is getting worse and the nurse is coming by this afternoon with a morphine pump.” “Oh,” was all Jenny could say. She knew that it wouldn’t be much longer after that. She was very close to her mother as Allison was, and a great sadness overcame her. Jenny 8

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was younger than Allison by two years and had much more of her mother’s personality, but Allison had a closer bond with her. She never really understood how it was that Allison was the independent, intellectual type like their dad and yet she got on much better with their mother, who was so different from her. Patrick McFarland, their dad, died three years before his wife took sick. A heart attack they told them, when he was found slumped over in his car in the office parking garage. Everyone was shocked; he was only 58 and in good health as far as they knew. Mary McFarland was devastated. They had been married for 30 years and unlike some people married that long, they were still very much in love. Pat still brought her favorite pink carnations every now and then, for no other reason than to say ‘I still care’; and Mary would bake his favorite raisin teabread on Saturday to have with his coffee on Sunday morning before church. It was never done out of duty or habit; it was done out of love. So after Pat died, Mary pined away for quite some time. Then out of the blue, something snapped her out of it; Allison and Jenny never found out what it was. They just knew that all of a sudden, after secluding herself in her house for over a year, she came to life. And now 4 years later, she was dying. Where was the fairness? “Should I bring the kids to see her?” Jenny asked, thinking that she didn’t know how much longer her mother would be lucid. “I don’t think so. Not tonight. I’m not sure how this pump thing works and how she’ll react to it. I know last night she would have done anything to ease the pain, but I don’t know if she’s really ready for this,” Allison said with thoughts of Jenny’s rambunctious twins raising a raucous. 9

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“Okay, I’ll see you sometime after 7,” Jenny replied. Allison locked the church before she left. She wondered what happened to the days of the unlocked church; the days of sanctuary; the simpler days of people trusting people not to steal anything they could pawn for a few dollars. Boy, she thought, if I don’t get some sleep soon, I could really get cynical. Angela was just washing the lunch dishes when Allison walked into the kitchen. She heard her mother’s soft moaning from the other room. Angela shot Allison a helpless look. “Michelle called and she’ll be back soon. Your mom really needs more medicine. Michelle gave her a shot before she left and she slept until just a few minutes ago.” Allison laid her purse down on the kitchen table and walked into her mother’s room. Mary was drifting in and out of a fitful sleep. When she saw her daughter, she smiled weakly and stretched out her hand. Allison sat down at the side of the bed and stroked her mothers matted hair. It didn’t matter if it was washed every day, after a few hours it would be tangled with perspiration. Looking at her mother’s pained face, she said a silent prayer that Michelle would arrive soon to start the pump, not that God seemed to listen to her prayers these days. Allison’s memories drifted back to when she was just a little girl. Every night she would kneel at her bed and say her prayers; God bless Mommy and Daddy and Jenny and Grandma Jean and Grandpa Bill and Nana Rita and… When she was little, her prayers were often answered. Once she prayed for a bicycle for her birthday and got a shiny red two-wheeler; once she prayed for a talking doll for Christmas and again, she got it…now when she 10

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prayed, God didn’t seem to be listening. “Jenny’s coming over tonight, Mom,” she said. “Good,” her mom said in a whisper, as she closed her eyes. Allison heard voices in the kitchen and knew that Michelle was back. Thank you, God…well, maybe he does listen…sometimes. Michelle came into the bedroom with her bag and a small plastic box attached to a thin tube and needle. Allison closed her eyes as Michelle set things up. “Mary…Mary, it’s Michelle. I’m here with your new medicine,” she said, as she lifted Mary’s night gown. She wiped her thigh with some alcohol and took the tiny needle out of the package. “She won’t feel this,” she said to Allison, as she inserted the needle and taped it to Mary’s leg. Then she pushed some buttons on the box and explained how to work it. Allison thought it was easy enough, but wrote everything down anyway, just in case in the middle of the night she was too groggy to remember. Michelle stayed for over an hour to assure them, and herself, that the pump was functioning properly. Mary was finally sleeping comfortably, her breathing slow and easy. Allison walked Michelle to the kitchen and gave her a hug. “She’ll sleep better, but she will still wake up. She’s on a low dose, so don’t be afraid to push the button for an extra dose when she needs it. Right now, it’s set to allow a bolus dose every 2 hours if she’s in pain. We can increase it as she needs it. I’ll be back in the morning.” Michelle let herself out, as she watched Allison walk back into her mother’s room. It was still very warm outside, so she took off her scrub jacket before she got into her car. As she turned the key and started the car to head off to her next case, she felt weary; not 11

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from lack of sleep, but from the emotional strain of helping people die. And it wasn’t just old people. There might be more comfort in that. The heartbreak was in the people who still had full lives to live; the people like Mary who hadn’t even turned 60 yet, who had grandchildren to love and enjoy. Especially tough were the children who were taken before they ever had a chance live, children like Tommy, who at the age of four was taken by leukemia after a year of tortuous chemotherapy. Michelle believed in God’s mercy and that was what kept her going. She felt that God used her to help ease her patients to a peaceful death and helped the families cope with the dying and the grief. As she whispered into a dying person’s ear, ‘it’s okay to let go,’ she would often feel their breath slow against her cheek, slow and then stop. All the years she had done this job, she had learned many things. One lesson was that some patients needed to wait for a specific family member or friend to arrive; others needed to wait until the family left and they were alone; and some needed permission to die. They would just hang on until someone said it was okay to “let go”. She had no idea how it was going to be for Mary McFarland. Jenny arrived at 6:30, earlier that Allison expected her. Her mother had slept from the time Michelle left and Allison laid down to take a nap. She was startled when she woke up 3 hours later. Jumping to her feet, she ran in, fearing her mother had passed away, since she never slept more than an hour at a time. Mary was sleeping peacefully in the bed. Allison breathed a sigh of relief and went into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. When she heard her stomach gurgle, she realized she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. As she washed the turkey 12

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sandwich down with a glass of iced tea, her sister came through the door. “How is she?” Jenny asked. “She’s been sleeping since 3:00. It’s a miracle,” she said, truly meaning it. “How are you doing?” “Better, now that I had a nap. I haven’t slept much the past couple of nights.” “Are you sure you should be working. Isn’t it too much for you?” Jenny asked sincerely. “Right now it seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. Pastor Henry says I can take off any time, whenever I need to. I think things are going to go quickly now, and so does Michelle.” As much as Allison didn’t want to lose her mother, she wanted her suffering to end. “I haven’t been much help to you,” Jenny said regretfully. Allison reached over and laid her hand on top on Jenny’s. “You already have your hands full. I know you’d do more if you could.” “Allison?” They both looked to their mother’s room, as they heard the soft voice call out. “I’ll go,” Jenny said, pushing herself away from the familiar kitchen table.

As long as Jenny could remember, all she wanted was to get married and have children. She would play for hours on end with her baby dolls; feeding and changing them, burping and rocking them. Her parents had given her a small baby carriage for her birthday the year she turned six, and she played with it, until she was eleven. Then she had to do it on the 13

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sly because of the teasing she took from her friends who were becoming more interested in “grown-up” things like hair styles and movie magazines. Still, Jenny’s interests were still the ones that would eventually make her a dedicated wife and mother. From the time she was three or four, she would love to sit with her elbows propped on the kitchen table as her mother whipped up some baked treat for supper. Her mother would slide a small piece of dough across to her and the little girl would joyfully push and pull on it until it was time to put her misshapen masterpiece on the baking tray with her mom’s perfect creations. Jenny would be so excited and when dinner came, she would take her handiwork and proudly present it to her father. Mary McFarland would smile, as her husband would fuss over the lop-sided treat and then give his daughter a big hug. Jenny would beam ear-to-ear, as if she had done a most miraculous thing. Her sister Allison on the other hand, had no interest in the kitchen at all. She could be found on the back porch with a stack of notebook paper, pretending to be the teacher to the many stuffed animals she would line up in her “classroom.” Mary could never understand her daughter’s fascination with paper. It didn’t matter what kind it was; lined, unlined, loose-leaf, tablet, colored. If you wanted to keep Allison happy, all you had to do was to give her a notebook and pencil and she could stay occupied for hours. Fortunately, the interest carried over to school and therefore made her an excellent student. The McFarlands never had to chastise Allison for not doing her homework. Unlike most children, including her sister Jenny, Allison would run home and delight in sitting at her desk, pen or pencil in hand, doing her assignments. Jenny, on the other hand, would use any excuse to delay the inevitable. It wasn’t that 14

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she wasn’t smart enough, because her school grades proved her to be above average; she just didn’t gravitate to it the way her sister did. She would much rather be helping her mother around the house or lending a hand to her father, as he weeded the garden or painted the fence. Jenny was actually closer to her dad and he called her his little sidekick, as they would go off to do chores together. As she got older, Jenny found herself going to her father for advice or comfort rather than her mother. Dad just seemed to understand better, she would often think. When Pat McFarland died so unexpectedly, Jenny was crushed. She was a junior in the local community college, getting a degree in, what else? but home economics. When she got the phone call at school, she rushed home to find her mother sobbing in her bed. There was little she could do, but join her. Not until Allison came home that night from her new job in the city, were arrangements discussed. Allison too, was distraught, but her cool-headedness allowed her to take charge and set things in motion for the funeral. It was that cool-headedness that propelled her to her job in the firm of Wallace & Wallace. Swiftly, efficiently, yet sorrowfully, Allison made all the arrangements and before her boss had time to realize she was gone, she was back at her desk. It wasn’t that Allison wasn’t grieving. She was just able to grieve and go on with her career plans at the same time. Her father would have understood. They both had the same single-mindedness of purpose. It’s what made Pat McFarland a success in his business and what would ultimately make Allison a success in hers. Wallace & Wallace was a small, but impressive marketing firm in the city. They hired Allison based on her very extensive resume and completely professional demeanor. Since it was a small office started by two young brothers, many of the applicants came dressed 15

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in casual office attire, assuming that the Wallace’s preferred their employees to dress more modern. To Allison’s benefit, they were wrong. Peter and David Wallace were very savvy businessmen and knew that to woe and win the more established older accounts, you needed a very conservative and polished image. Allison McFarland was just what they were looking for. After graduating with her bachelor’s degree in business, she took a job with a Maplewood garden and feed store. When she started she was little more than a glorified “go-fer”, but within the year, she had become invaluable, as their newly promoted office manager. George Lewis had started Lewis Garden & Feed more than 30 years before and it was a small, but prosperous business. It had, however, lagged behind the times when it came to modernizing. George’s wife Ellie did the bookkeeping by hand for all the years she was alive. When she passed away shortly after Allison started working for him, George was at a loss to make sense of what turned out to be her unique and mystifying method. In a desperate measure, he asked Allison to help and to his absolute amazement, she swiftly and proficiently organized the office into a modern, computerized system. Barely 22, her aptitude for management was formidable. When she gave her notice several years later, he was very sorry to lose her, but he knew her ambition and talent would thrive well in the city. Allison McFarland had a vision of her future and George Lewis knew she would succeed at anything she set her mind to. And what she wanted was to work in the high prestige firm of Wallace & Wallace. Her first interview was with Peter Wallace, the older of the brothers. He was tall and thin with a narrow, watchful face that could set you on edge until you came to know his gentle nature. His eyes would never leave your face when you spoke and Allison tried not 16

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to let her nervousness show. When she was called back for a second interview, David Wallace was also there. She was able to relax some in his presence. As quiet and vigilant as Peter was, David was just the opposite. If you didn’t know they were brothers, it would be hard to connect the two. David Wallace was shorter by at least six inches, tan and muscular with dark wavy hair and playful gray eyes. His nature was high-spirited and it was obvious that he was the deal-maker of the pair. They made her an offer at the end of the interview and even though she was composed and professional with her acceptance, her heart raced with exuberance. This job would allow her to make the big move to the city and all that went with it. As much as she loved Maplewood, she knew that she was destined to live a different sort of life than her parents and sister did. Jenny had already realized her dreams, as soon as she graduated college. She married her high-school sweetheart, John Morgan right after graduation and they set up house in a sweet little cape cod on Evergreen Lane. Shortly thereafter, she found herself with, not one child, but two…twins; one girl, one boy. Her life was fulfilled and complete, while Allison was still upwardly mobile with many rungs to climb. Mary McFarland was sad to see her daughter move away, but she was never the kind of mother to hold tight apron strings. She knew her daughter Allison had a restless and ambitious nature and would succeed in her chosen profession. She would never get distracted from her goal. Still, she felt such sorrow that Allison craved gratification from the outside and didn’t yet realize that there was only one source of true fulfillment. Mary prayed that after she was gone, her legacy and her secret…would help her daughter find that source. 17

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CHAPTER 2 -- THE CALLING

As Jack Henry pulled into the Maplewood Home, he said a small prayer that his visit with Hazel would bring her comfort. He slipped on the sport coat that he had removed and laid carefully across the back seat. As he picked up his travel bible, as he liked to call it, he said another small prayer for tolerance. The lobby was cool from the air-conditioning and a welcome respite from the outside humidity. “Hello, Pastor,” Emily Campbell greeted him from the reception desk. “Hi, Emily. Here to see Mrs. Dearborn today,” he said, as he signed his name to the customary register. “Yes, I know. Hazel’s already called out here twice to see if you arrived yet,” she laughed knowingly. Jack swallowed hard. It appeared that it might be a tough visit; she was already impatient for him to arrive. 18

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“Good luck,” Emily said sympathetically. She knew first hand how trying Hazel Dearborn could be. Jack knocked tentatively at Hazel’s half-closed door. One would never presume to just walk in on Hazel, even if you were expected. Not if one wanted to leave with one’s head still attached. “Come in, Pastor,” he heard her annoyed voice answer. “Good afternoon, Hazel,” he said amiably, as he sat down in the flowered peach chair next to hers. “Good afternoon, indeed. I expected you half an hour ago,” she snapped. “I’m sorry, Hazel. I had to make a stop first, “ he said with such regret in his voice that he could see her visibly soften. With it, his heart softened, too. How alone she was in this room. She had no-one else to visit, but him. Her husband Harry had passed away more than three years before, after 60 years of marriage. They had never been blessed with children, so Hazel fulfilled her maternal instincts by being one of the church’s longest serving Sunday School teachers. While Harry was still alive and she was still physically able, her enthusiasm for teaching the little ones about God’s love and salvation never dimmed. She was beloved and there was a large retirement party for her when she was forced to give it up. For the first few years, she would have regular visitors to the Home, but as the years passed and memories and appreciation faded, they grew less and less until now he was practically her sole contact with the church. Jack wondered if it was her acerbic attitude that caused the decline in visitors or vice-versa. “How are you feeling today, Hazel?” he asked. 19

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“My hip’s giving me a lot of trouble the past few days,” she responded. “Sorry to hear that Hazel. How about if we do some reading in Philippians, perhaps chapter 4,” he said, hoping to help her to “rejoice in the Lord.” As he looked over at her, he saw a single tear roll down the wrinkled cheek. “I miss Harry so,” she said sadly and uncharacteristically. She never talked about the past or reminisced. They usually spent their time together reading scripture interspersed with her complaints about her aches and pains, or how Mrs. Murphy, the Home’s cook, couldn’t make a decent pot roast for Sunday dinner. Jack Henry often wondered why Hazel never talked about Harry. It seemed that she lived only in the very unpleasant present. “He was such a wonderful man,” she said softly. “Yes, he was a pillar of our church, “ Jack said truthfully. He had been a deacon for more than 30 years and was well-respected and relied on for many church activities. “He was much more than that,” Hazel snapped. Then her face softened and she apologized. “I’m sorry, Pastor. It’s just that he was so much more than just a valuable church member. He was a wonderful husband. Harry was kind and gentle and understanding. He would have made an excellent father. It was such a terrible disappointment that God did not bless us with any children.” Jack was stunned. In all the years that he had come to visit Hazel, she had never once discussed such intimate feelings or details of her life. He was speechless. Luckily, she continued on. “I often sit here and think how different our life would have been if we did have children. 20

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Harry and I thought about adopting, but decided that we would devote our time and energy to the church. There were so many little ones who needed us there. But still, now there isn’t anyone to remember Harry, except for me…and of course, you,” she added. It broke Jack’s heart to listen to her. She had given herself to one man and one church. Now she sat here alone in her room, widowed by one and forgotten by the other. Instinctively, he reached over and took her hand. He knew it was pointless to dispute the facts, so he didn’t even try. She was a sharp woman and she wasn’t looking for consolation. He sensed she just needed to talk about it with someone and he was the most likely candidate. They sat silently for some time before she offered him some lemonade. After the both had a glass and some less formal chit-chat, they said a prayer together and he left her room. He stopped at the desk and asked Emily Campbell for some information that he wrote down in his notepad for future reference. The now oppressive heat greeted him, as he left the Maplewood Home; he took his jacket off again and headed into town to pick up some ice cream for tomorrow’s celebration. It was Sarah’s 6th birthday and there would be 8 little girls, as well as her two brothers, gathered to celebrate the occasion. Since he knew he would have to head straight home so the rocky road and chocolate chip wouldn’t become a puddle in the bag, he stopped at the church first, to check for messages. Allison had left for the day, but had left a stack of correspondence for him to read and sign. She was so incredibly efficient. Jack was really going to miss her when she went back to the city to her regular job. When Betty Cooper left abruptly, he was in a real quandary about replacing her. On one hand, he could have found an older member of the church to take 21

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her place; and on the other hand, he was looking at her departure as an opportunity to update Betty’s antiquated system with something more modern. Having been in charge of the church office for what seemed forever, she was very efficient, but not willing to upgrade either her skills or the equipment into the computer age. She would just shake her head and click her tongue, if he brought it up. It was a small enough church that everything could be handled on her aging word processor or in neat notebooks she handled with much care. The problem was that when she left, he discovered she was the only one who could really figure out her system. He daily thanked God for Allison McFarland, who threw him a life jacket on her arrival back home. Of course, he was very upset over the reason she needed to return. Certainly, Mary McFarland’s illness was devastating for her family, as well as for him. What was he to do without Mary? Who was going to take her special place? She was a remarkable woman who had done God’s work on earth, especially in the past few years since… He was bound by a promise not to tell anyone…not even her daughters. What will they do when they find out, he thought. Well, it wouldn’t be long now, he suspected. “I’m home,” he called, out as he let himself in the front door. Sarah came running. “Daddy!” she squealed. “Did you know tomorrow’s my birthday?” she said, jumping up and down. “It IS?” he joked. “Well, now isn’t that something? Are you going to do anything special?” “Daddy!” she said, as she made a face. “It’s my party!” “Is it? Oh, well. That is pretty special,” he said, as he lifted her up by his free arm and she hugged him tight about the neck. 22

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Jack walked into the kitchen and lowered his daughter into one of the kitchen chairs. Then he took the already softening ice cream from the plastic bag and put it into the freezer. “Where are the boys?” he asked. “They’re out playing at Joshua’s. Mommy is downstairs.” As if on cue, Ruth Henry opened the basement door with a laundry basket in her arms. “Jack, I didn’t hear you,” she said, as she laid the basket on the table and went to kiss her husband. They had been married for 15 years and except for the occasional bump in the road, had a very happy and content life together. “Did you get the ice cream?” she asked, as she picked the laundry basket back up. “Ice cream? Can I have some?” Sarah asked eagerly. “It’s for a special someone’s party tomorrow, Sarah,” Jack said. “Oh! Okay,” she said, as she slithered out of the chair and ran out the back door to play in the yard. Her parents laughed as she disappeared just as quickly as she came in. Sarah was the youngest of their three. Noah, 10, was a typical rough and tumble sort of boy, with all the usual scraped knees and worms in the pocket that went with it. Isaac, their second, was far more the sensitive, thoughtful boy of 8 and much preferred a good comic book to a game of football. And Sarah, well what could be said of Sarah? She was a bubbling ball of energy that could have you laughing just by the expressions on her face. She was the child that looked most like her mother and Jack Henry was grateful for that. His wife had a natural beauty that needed little embellishment. Her smooth ivory skin was touched with just a hint of pink in the cheeks, unless 23

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she was embarrassed or angry, then they would blaze scarlet. She had soft raven hair that just skimmed her shoulders and deep gray eyes that sparkled when she was excited. Sarah was a miniature of Ruth except that her hair was long and kept contained in braids or pigtails. “Dinner will be ready around six,” Ruth said, as Jack followed her upstairs. He had taken the basket from her in the kitchen and it was just one of the many small things he did that made him an enviable husband. Jack Henry was known to fold and put away laundry without even being asked. Ruth never took him for granted, well, almost never. After all, she wasn’t perfect and neither was he. But they loved each other and made a family together. Concessions were made on both their parts over the years, and they learned to work well together. The congregation at Grace Church felt blessed when the Henrys came to Maplewood. Dinner was the usual mix of banter and conversation between the Henrys and their children. Noah had tales of games played and won; Isaac, of stories read and trees climbed; and well, Sarah… After the children said their prayers and were kissed and tucked in bed, Jack and Ruth settled down in the living room. Usually, Jack would be amassing notes for his sermon at the desk in the corner, while Ruth sat knitting or reading on the couch. Tonight, Ruth noticed that he dawdled uncharacteristically and then closed his notebook to come and sit next to her. She saw that he looked tired. She reached over and started to rub his neck. She could feel the tension in his shoulders ease, as she massaged them. “Thanks,” he said appreciatively. “Want to talk about it?” she asked. Ruth was always there for him to unload his 24

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burdens. She was never too busy, although occasionally a little too tired. “I saw Hazel Dearborn today,” he said wearily. She knew that Hazel could wear anyone down, but it took a lot to get to Jack. She herself would make a visit to her several times a month to bring a home baked treat, and was always glad when it was time to leave. There was just something about her that made it difficult. After you listened to her laundry list of complaints… well, there wasn’t much else. Then Jack told her of his visit and Ruth found herself sobbing softly in his arms. She pictured Hazel and Harry’s barren life and tried to envision hers, without their 3 children. How disappointing it must have been. She felt terrible that she hadn’t had more compassion for the lonely old woman who had nothing but Jack’s visits to cheer her. “Oh Jack. What can we do? We must do something for her,” Ruth said, sincerely. “Yes. Thank you for understanding. I had an idea. I checked and her birthday is in July. I was thinking that we should have a party for her, a surprise. And we should invite as many of her old Sunday school kids that we can find. Emily Campbell said we can use the Home’s reception hall. What do you think?” he asked tentatively. “JACK! That’s a great idea! I think she would be so touched to know that she is remembered and appreciated. I can have the ladies bible study help with the calls and invitations. We can have the Sunday school children draw pictures and write verses to decorate the room,” Ruth rattled on. It touched Jack’s heart to see her embrace Hazel’s pain and help do something about it. Of course, knowing Ruth, he would have expected nothing less. Since Sarah’s party was already prepared for, they spent the rest of the evening planning for the surprise 25

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birthday party for Hazel Dearborn. The next morning, Jack was much relieved that the previous day’s heat had dissipated. There was a coolness in the morning air, as he went out for his morning run before Ruth and the kids woke up. He had always been an early riser and fortunately, his wife was a heavy sleeper and he could quietly slip out of bed without disturbing her. Jack used the solitude of the dawn and the beauty of the sunrise to spend time alone with God. They would often have their most intimate talks when he was running and he could feel his heart beating against his chest. The pounding would often correspond with the rhythm of his prayers. This morning, he had the McFarlands on his mind and on his heart. He prayed for mercy for Mary; for comfort for Allison and Jenny. Then he added a special prayer for Mary’s bequest. Her family did not know and would not know until after her death about her gift. Ruth was at the kitchen stove mixing up some eggs when Jack made it back home, sweaty from his run. “You’re up early,” he said as he gave her a quick kiss. “The party, you know. I figure Sarah will be bouncing in here any minute, ready to go and I’ll have to keep her contained until this afternoon,” Ruth laughed. Jack knew she was right. Sarah was a handful on normal days, but on her birthday…her exuberance would be uncontainable. It was Saturday and he had arranged to have just a few church errands that morning so he would be available to help Ruth with the pre-party arrangements. After he showered and dressed, Jack went back into the kitchen to find everyone gathered at the table. Ruth 26

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was dishing out the scrambled eggs as the toast that was piled on a plate was being passed from Isaac to Noah. “DADDY! It’s my birthday!” Sarah cried. “I know, sweetheart. Happy birthday!” he said, as he bent down and picked her up in his arms. He gave his jubilant daughter a big sloppy kiss, as she hugged his neck. “Are you ready for your party?” already knowing the answer. “”I’m going to wear the new pink dress Mommy made for me and Mommy’s going to put new ribbons in my hair and…” and she went on and on. Jack just smiled at his wife who gave so much to being a wife and mother. He should tell her that more often, he thought. After breakfast, Jack walked next door to his office. He was very grateful for the house provided for them by the church and its convenient location, although there were times when their privacy was invaded by an overly distraught or overly zealous parishioner that would knock on his door at some inappropriate time of night with a trivial disturbance. But he knew that in his role as God’s assistant, there was nothing that was considered trivial. Not to God. As he sat at his desk and pulled out his notepad of to-do things, he thought of Mary McFarland. He had stopped over several days before and he knew it wouldn’t be much longer. In his 13 years as pastor, he had come face to face with death on multiple occasions. No matter what the circumstance, it was always hardest on the family. Even when they could rejoice that their loved one was going home to be with the Lord, they still grieved the loss in their own hearts. It was only human nature. He knew that if he lost Ruth or one of the 27

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kids, he would feel the same. He made a mental note to stop at Mary’s before the party.

“Good morning, Pastor,” Allison said brightly, as she answered the door. “Well, you certainly look better this morning,” he said, as he entered the kitchen. “She had a restful night. The new medicine helped her sleep.” Any fear she had about increasing her mother’s medication quickly dissolved with the efficacy of the new pump. Her mother’s breathing was calm and easy, as she slept almost the entire night without the usual fitful tossing and moaning. And Allison was pleased that her mother woke refreshed, if not somewhat drowsy, and asked for some breakfast. “Is she awake?” Jack asked, bible in hand. “In and out, but go on in. She always loves your visits. I’ll make some tea.” Jack walked into the room that housed the hospital bed and his friend, Mary. She lay propped by pillows with a thin sheet covering her thin body. It was not too long ago that she would bounce into his office, excited about her new “mission” and they would make plans together; plans that no one would know about except the two of them. Soon…all too soon, her daughters would know. There was no way around it. “Mary,” he said quietly, laying his hand on hers. He could see her eyes flicker beneath the thin lids and a tiny smile form at the corners of her mouth. “Pastor,” she said, faintly. Her skin had become translucent and he noticed her fingers were icy cold. He closed his eyes and prayed again, for mercy. “You look better today, Mary,” he said. What he meant was that she looked more comfortable. 28

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“It won’t be much longer, Pastor,” she said, peacefully. She had long since made her peace with God. As far as she was concerned, death of the body was inevitable. She was confident that she was “going home” for eternity. Her prayers were for her family; that they would not grieve her passing, but rejoice for her. But Mary was especially worried about Allison. Jenny had her husband and children to fill her heart, but Allison didn’t seem to have anything. She knew that Allison’s relationship with God was superficial, at best, and there was no one to help guide her, love her, comfort her. In her quest to climb to the top of the business world, she feared Allison had lost the softness that would let God in. Of course, she knew that God could change all that. He changed it in her after Patrick died and she was despondent and bitter. She remembered the night she awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat as she heard the words, “Mary, I have something for you to do.” She was rattled from sleep and found herself on her knees. Yes, God, she responded silently. That was the night He changed her heart and filled it with His mission. From that time until now, her life had a singular purpose, with the help of her friend Jack Henry. Now she was to trust the Lord to pass on that mission. Could it be that he would give it to Allison? Would she understand? Would she be angry with her mother and think she was crazy? She trusted the Lord and she trusted Jack Henry. Their secret would not be secret much longer, she knew.

Jack had spent more time than he planned with Mary, so when he arrived home there were already a houseful of little girls running and laughing around Ruth’s feet. She shot him a playful glance, as he came through the door. “Thanks,” she mouthed at him, but he knew she wasn’t really mad. It was obvious she had things well under control and they 29

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always had an agreement. If his “work” kept him away, she would take up the slack. Ruth Henry knew that her husband’s calling to ministry had consumed him from the time he was only 16 and she not only understood it, she admired his devotion to the Lord and all that went with it. God had given him a gift and she felt honored to share in it. There were of course, the occasional times when they were prepared for a special trip back home that had to be cancelled due to a church crisis or parishioner’s need, that her disappointment might get the better of her. But those times, to Jack Henry’s relief, were few and far between. All in all, Ruth and Jack Henry were equally yoked and their marriage was a blessing to them both. Sarah’s party was a great success and there was only a small sliver of cake left at the end. When the house was quiet again after all the little girls had returned to their homes and Sarah sat exhausted on the porch surrounded by the birthday treasures from her friends, Jack helped his wife clean up the debris.

That night, as they both lay exhausted in bed, Ruth asked her husband how his day went; the first part of the day…before the party. “I stopped to see Mary McFarland,” he responded. “I think her time is soon,” he said sadly. “You’ll miss her. She’s been a good friend,” Ruth said. She didn’t know why her husband and Mary had become such good friends in the past few years, but she knew they had some special bond concerning a special project. Normally, Jack shared everything with her regarding the church, as well as anything else. But he never talked about Mary’s endeavor, so she didn’t pry. He would tell her if he wanted her to know. She 30

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did think it an odd alignment, but she trusted Jack’s judgment and she was the only other person to know of it. “I’ll also miss Allison when she goes back to the city. She has such a gift with the office. She has started to work on a computer system to organize everything. She is a genius when it comes to computers. I can understand why she has done so well at her regular job. I can see her being vice-president of some company before she turns 30.” “Maybe you should start looking for a replacement now, before she goes,” Ruth said pragmatically. “Oh, I couldn’t. It would be an open acknowledgment that her mother is close to dying,” he said. “Oh Jack. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think of that. Of course, you’re right. That would be very insensitive,” she said, knowing that some other men in his position might be more inclined to be practical rather than compassionate. “We’ll cope with it when the time comes,” he said, as he kissed her and then drifted off to sleep. The Sunday sermon was inspired. Jack felt that Hazel Dearborn’s situation was perhaps extreme, but not uncommon. How many people were forgotten over the course of their lives and how many had left them behind? He could see that the Lord was opening hearts, as he read the Word and many were led to the alter for prayer after he concluded with prayer. When the service was over, Jack was deluged with people who had been touched by Hazel Dearborn at some point in their lives and now were led to give something back. He had more volunteers than he knew what to do with so he appointed a committee chairperson to work with Ruth to make the arrangements. 31

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Julia Emerson had been one of Hazel’s first Sunday school pupils all those years before. Now, she herself was a retired school teacher, who had long since forgotten Hazel. Then Jack’s sermon opened her heart and touched on her own particular ache. She remembered all the students that passed through her own 4th grade class at Maplewood Elementary and how few had ever stopped back to see her. Julia believed she was a good teacher and instilled valuable information and values into her pupils, yet where had they all gone? Except for an occasional Christmas card, she never saw them again. At least she had her own children and grandchildren and her husband of almost 40 years to fill her golden years. But poor Hazel…she had no one. Julia’s heart identified on a very deep level and she knew she needed to help. So Julia was to head the committee and work with Ruth to bring together a party that would gladden the heart of Hazel Dearborn. Well, Jack prayed that it would gladden it. You never could tell with Hazel.

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CHAPTER 3 -- THE PASSING

Allison was so grateful that her mother could be practically free of pain. Every day, Michelle Duncan would stop by and re-evaluate Mary’s situation and make the necessary changes. As the days grew into weeks and the dosages became higher to keep Mary comfortable, she became less and less conscious. When she drifted into consciousness, she would feel Allison or Jenny’s hand on hers and she would smile weakly. Mary was 33

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surrounded by the love of her daughters and she knew she would be in the presence of God before long. Now that the pain was no more than a nagging ache that roused her every so often to connect, perhaps one last time, with her loved ones, she could drift between reality and eternity with the surety of eternity’s existence. Had there ever been doubt before, there was none now as she was at perfect peace with her maker. Mary was a practical as she was creative, so she had already made arrangements for her funeral. Both her daughters were appalled when their mother brought up the discussion at their last Christmas gathering. “Mother! I don’t even want to think about this!” Jenny asserted. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but this is something that needs to be talked about. This last round of chemotherapy hasn’t worked and I don’t know how much time there is. I want you girls to be prepared,” Mary said resolutely. Both daughters sat silently, as they knew their mother was right. The doctors gave Mary less than a year and Allison had already decided that she would ask for a leave of absence from Wallace & Wallace when she returned after the holidays. As it turned out, her mother’s condition didn’t deteriorate until many months later and she was able to prepare a fill-in for her absence. That was Allison for you, practical and dedicated to a fault. She could weather any emotional storm. Her mother worried that she had a wall around her heart to protect her. She worried that the wall would keep out the good, as well as the bad. Allison had never had a serious sweetheart. There had been Bobby Ellison in high school, but when her friends teased her, calling her Allison Ellison - what an impossible name - she ended the budding relationship. Allison was far more interested in her studies 34

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and her business future than a boyfriend anyway. Once she graduated and was working for George Lewis, her single-minded purpose took over and she simply didn’t have time for dating. And when she settled in her job in the city, there was an occasional date, usually arranged by a friend. But Allison just wasn’t interested in what they wanted from her. Unlike the other girls in her office, she did not want to settle down and get married. Maybe someday, way down the road, but certainly not now. Allison was completely unaware that she had stolen the heart of David Wallace. She assumed that with his dashing appearance and winning personality that he had many a girl swooning after him. Actually, she was right. What she was so blatantly unaware of, was that he didn’t care for any of them. From the first moment he had seen her during the interview, he was smitten. Her sophisticated elegance and understated beauty caught him unaware. When his brother, Peter had arranged the meeting, he told him nothing more than her qualifications. Just like Peter to not see past the pragmatic to the jewel. David was so taken that he actually thought of not hiring her. The Wallace brothers had an agreement; they would not entangle their social and business relationships. So try as he might to find some fault to dismiss her with, in good conscience, he simply couldn’t. Allison McFarland was perfect for the job. And as time wore on, David knew she was perfect for him. It was his long range plan to somehow woo and wed her without causing a great upheaval for his brother. David knew he had time because Allison was so devoted to her job, there was no room for love. At least that is what he counted on. He also counted on being able to change that for her, when the time was right. Certainly not now…now, when her mother was dying. Perhaps when he was there to comfort her in her 35

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grief…

Mary’s last days were tranquil and calm. Her daughters set up a round-the-clock vigil. Jenny had her neighbors, the Lyons watch the twins during the day until John came home from work. Bobby and Ella romped happily with Jacob and Annie Lyons in their backyard, blissfully unaware of the sad circumstances surrounding the situation. Allison and Jenny took turns sitting at their mother’s bedside, stroking her hair or reading scripture. They would nap on the couch or in Allison’s bed, but they wanted to be near when the time came. Jack Henry stopped by each day to say a prayer and give comfort. Allison couldn’t put her finger on it, but she sensed there was something unspoken in his visits. Ruth Henry would stop by and bring some sandwiches or a casserole for the girls to pick at. All in all, it was a peaceful death. When it came, both Jenny and Allison were at their mother’s side. Her breathing had slowed over the hours prior and after one last heavy breath, she was gone. Mary’s daughters sat on each side each holding one of her hands and cried. They loved their mother so, and would miss her desperately. Mary McFarland was a kind loving soul who had left her mark on her daughters and as they would find out…on the many others.

Michelle Duncan came and pronounced the death, filling out paperwork and calling the funeral home. First, she sat with Allison and Jenny hugging them both and feeling their grief. It was the hardest part of her job, no matter how merciful the death. It was the living, left 36

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to mourn that needed her most at that point. Bill Foster came for Mary and gave his condolences to the girls. They had been in several weeks before to finalize the plans their mother had already made. Now that it was over, they understood the thoughtful thing their mother had done with the pre-planning. Certainly, it made it less painful to not have to sit picking out caskets. It seemed such a cold and insensitive thing to have to do in your greatest moment of grief. Jack Henry was already prepared for the service. He had thought long and hard on the eulogy. There was so much that he could say, and yet there was so much he couldn’t. He was bound by promise and he would not betray her confidence. Still, he planned for Mary McFarland to be remembered by more than just her family. Allison and Jenny went through the motions in a daze. They had each already picked out a suitable dress for the wake and another for the funeral. Even though their mother wanted them to rejoice at her passing on, neither one felt much joy. They did, however, abide by Mary’s wish to wait until the morning of the funeral to open a box she left for them in her dresser. It was so like their mother to do something like that. She often tucked little notes and messages, as a surprise in their school lunches…many years ago. As they sat dressed in their stark, black outfits waiting for the funeral limousine to pick them up, they took the top off the white cardboard box. Allison picked up the handwritten card that lay on top of the tissue paper.

To my darling daughters, I know that right now you are terribly sad, but I 37

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want you know that at this very moment I am the happiest I have ever been. That means I am happier than the day I married your father or gave birth to my precious babies. God was very good to me and now I will live with Him forever. Please remember how happy I am and someday rejoice for me. I ask you to please wear what is in this box as a symbol to remind you. Your loving mother

Allison stared at Jenny, as tears rolled down their cheeks. Even in death, their mother sought to comfort them. As Jenny carefully removed the delicate white paper, they saw two matching purple silk scarves with a tiny dove embroidered on one corner. They both understood the significance. It was Mary’s resurrection day and they would wear the color that would denote that to the other mourners. After they donned their mother’s final gift and had a good cry, they were ready. The church was filled with friends and relatives who all nodded, as Pastor Henry talked about Mary McFarland’s many godly gifts and the blessing she was to all who knew her. Though tearful throughout, Allison and Jenny were grateful and proud of being her daughters. And there was so much more they didn’t know.

Ruth Henry had organized the reception in the church hall for after the burial. As usual, the women’s bible study had cooked and baked an array of food for the mourners. There was always a core group of women that took charge of such things and they did it 38

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well. Carol Peterson made her tuna noodle casserole; Andrea Beardsley made her macaroni salad; Monica Harrington baked the prized chocolate brownies. If the family couldn’t be comforted in the knowledge that their loved one was in a better place, they certainly could ease their pain with a brownie or two. At least that’s what Monica Harrington thought, as she laid the large ceramic platter on the table and then licked a chocolate crumb from her finger. “Thank you, Pastor,” Jenny said, as she shook his hand. John was at her side and the twins were off in a corner playing under one of the food tables. “She will be missed,” he said to her. More than you know, he thought to himself. “It was very hard when Dad died,” Allison was saying, “but we still had Mom. Did God really need them both?” she said sorrowfully, as she touched the scarf at her neck. “I can’t begin to understand why these things happen the way they do, Allison,” Jack was saying. “All I know, is that God does have reasons for what He allows to happen. Someday maybe we will understand what it is.” He knew from his years of experience sitting with the families of the sick and suffering, the grief-stricken, the victims of senseless tragedy, that everything was part of His plan and even though it didn’t make sense at the time, it would all be revealed in His perfect time. Its what Jack Henry believed in, or else he would never have been able to bring comfort to others. Allison shook her head, as if trying to understand and agree, but in reality, she didn’t understand at all. Both her parents dead before they ever reached 60 years old. Too young, she wanted to scream. Not fair, she wanted to yell. Why? she wanted to ask God. After everyone left and Jenny was ready to head home with her family, she asked Allison if she wanted to spend the night with them. She could have the twins bunk 39

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together and Allison could have the other bed. Or she could crash on the big, comfy sofa. She didn’t think her sister should be alone in her mother’s house. “Thanks, Jen. I’ll be okay at home,” she said, tempted by the offer. She knew it would be hard to face the empty house, but true to her nature, she wasn’t one to run from a challenge. As she flipped on the kitchen light, she saw that everything had been put away. She knew that Angelina had a key and she suspected that she had come over and straightened up, God bless her. All her mother’s medicine bottles were gone and, mercifully, the hospital bed had been removed the day after Mary died. Angelina had taken down some flower vases and filled them with some fresh cut flowers from the garden. She had opened the windows so the medicinal smell that had lingered in the house was gone. Allison sat down on the sofa, slipped off her shoes and cried.

When Allison woke the next day, her eyes puffy and red-brimmed from the crying, she fixed herself a strong cup of coffee and some toast and sat down to make her plans. It was over now and it was time to go on with life. She had started to set up a new office system for Pastor Henry and she wasn’t going to leave him in the lurch. She estimated that she could have it all up and running within another 3 weeks and train her replacement at the same time. Even though Pastor Henry hadn’t mentioned it, she suspected he was scouting around for a likely candidate. She herself knew of two recent college grads that would fit the bill. Cassie McGuire was a business major with a strong computer background. Allison thought she would be very efficient. But then there was Patty Ferris who, though 40

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not as well-schooled in office mechanics, had the personality that was well-suited for the sometimes delicate task of the church’s administrative assistant. Allison could tell by the surprised look on his face, Jack Henry did not expect to see her sitting at her desk that morning, when he came in to work. “You don’t have to be here,” he said, gently. “I know. But I need to do something. I can’t just sit around. And there is certainly plenty to be done here,” she said, as she waved her hands in the air. “Yes, I suppose that’s an understatement,” he laughed. “I’m going to miss you,” he added, sincerely. She felt for him the fondness she would have felt for older brother if she had one. If her life’s dream had been anything other than the fast-paced corporate world she planned to return to, she could have been comfortable at Grace Christian Church. But as it was, she was already starting to itch for the frenetic pace of the city she left behind. “I have most everything downloaded into files with cross-references to…” she was saying. “Allison, I know you know what you are doing, but I have no doubt that it is beyond my understanding, so I wouldn’t waste your explanations on me. Just write it all down and I’ll hire someone in the next couple of days. I know how anxious you are to get back to your job.” He was thrilled when she said she would stay until the office was set and he had a competent assistant in place. Knowing that she would be there for longer than he originally expected, he decided to ask for her assistance with one last project. “It’s called the Giving Tree,” he explained. “It was started several years ago and has 41

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become a bit of a tradition. Every Thanksgiving, we put a Christmas tree in the vestibule and hang paper angels on it. Each angel has the name of a child whose family is financially troubled or they have no family at all. Then, the parishioners take a name and purchase a pair of mittens, hat and a small toy to be distributed before Christmas. Sadly, the list grows every year.” “What a wonderful idea. At least those children will have something to comfort them.” Jack was so glad that Allison was willing to help. There was a lot of work that went into the Giving Tree. First there would have to be phone calls made to the local shelters and orphanages; then, they would discreetly contact church families suspected of being down on their luck to ascertain the needs of the unfortunate. Many were too proud to come forth, even if it meant their children were to do without. After the exhaustive task, the list was compiled, the angels were labeled and placed in a box until the tree was assembled. Jack was definitely grateful for Allison’s help.

“Peter, it’s Allison,” she spoke into the phone. “Allison, I’m so sorry about your mom,” he said, genuinely. “I want to thank you and David for the beautiful arrangement you sent. It was very thoughtful,” she said. “David picked it out. He said pink was your favorite color,” Peter admitted. Allison was surprised on several counts; first that David did the choosing of the flowers, and second, that he knew her favorite color. “Please thank him for me. I would like to take the rest of the month to finish up here and I’m planning to be back to work by the beginning of August. Is that okay with you 42

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and David?” “Allison, take as long as you need. I can’t say we don’t miss you terribly. The temp you trained is adequate, but she just isn’t you. When you get back, I’d like to talk to you about a promotion. It’s long overdue and we certainly don’t want to lose you,” Peter confessed. “You don’t have to worry about that. There’s no place I want to be but Wallace & Wallace.” Her heart was racing at the thought of a promotion. She had worked long and hard and she knew that eventually it would pay off. It was just the thing she needed to help her get past her grief.

“Well, I let the cat out of the bag, “ Peter said to his brother when he hung up the phone. “I told Allison about the promotion.” David looked up from his paperwork. Sooner or later, he was going to have to make his move. He didn’t want to tell Peter how he felt about Allison until he knew if she could feel anything for him. Right then and there, he decided that when she was back in the city and settled again he was going to make the move and ask her to dinner.

Allison and Pastor Henry discussed the hiring of her replacement and decided to do the interviews together. After they met with Patty Ferris, at Allison’s suggestion, they both agreed that she was sharp enough to handle the office work and Jack was drawn to her gentle voice and compassionate nature. He often needed someone to be his replacement when he was tied up. He suspected that Patty would do nicely. His first choice would have been Allison, but they had already discussed her leaving at the end of 43

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the month to get back to the life she had chosen for herself; a life far away from anything that resembled her mother’s.

But first, she was going to help him with something special; the Giving Tree. It would have made her mother very happy…more than Allison could ever imagine.

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CHAPTER 4 -- THE PARTY

Julia Emerson met with Ruth to make up the list for Hazel’s party. They decided to make it a luncheon so the food would be simple to prepare; sandwiches and a garden salad, pasta and potato salads, and of course, a birthday cake. The invitations were made and addressed, the decorations purchased, the food preparation assigned from the volunteer list. Everything was in place for what Ruth and Julia hoped to be a spectacular surprise. Jack was making his regular visit to see Hazel and had to be very careful not to slip up. They talked about the usual things and Hazel never brought up her conversation about Harry again. But after that reminiscent, and she thought indulgent, outbreak, she was less ornery. Her complaints were either mild or non-existent. Jack assumed that she was probably embarrassed at having exposed a private side of herself. He was however, wrong. Hazel Dearborn thought long and hard about what happened at Pastor’s last visit. Somewhere from deep down inside, she felt very alone. Her marriage to Harry had been a full and rewarding one, even if the children they so desperately wanted were not to be. They filled their life with other people’s children and the needs of Grace Christian Church. Anytime there was a visiting pastor to accommodate, a church dinner to host, the Dearborns were relied on to help out, if not completely take over. They never felt taken advantage of, as others often 45

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did. They felt God used the opportunity of their childlessness, to serve. And as the years passed, they continued to serve the Lord with joy and gratitude. When their advancing age and decreasing health prevented them from active church participation, they sat together writing out cards of encouragement to those with physical or spiritual needs. Every week, they would be sent a list from the chairman of the “card committee.” They were still able to attend Sunday service most weeks, so they were not yet considered “shut-ins,” as most on their list were. Only when Harry took ill and the strain of his illness and death left Hazel too weak and despondent to leave home did her name appear on the list to be encouraged. She made her last trip to church the week before she sold their house and moved into the Maplewood Home. And she knew the only way she would be leaving would be in the back of Bill Foster‘s black limousine. So Pastor was wrong when he thought she had been embarrassed. She felt great relief at the release of an anger and disappointment that had been with her since Harry’s passing. It had crept in slowly, as the loneliness took over. The had been married since they were very young and spent practically their whole lives together. They grew up together and they grew old together. How could you possibly explain that loss to anyone so they could understand? So her grief overtook the joyful memories and blocked out her love for God. The only thing she could focus on was the negative… until her outpouring of emotion awakened her. And then it was as if her spirit had been awakened. After Pastor Henry left, she carefully eased herself out of her chair and onto her painfully arthritic knees to pray. She knew that the depth of her repentance, as far as she was concerned, required it. Hazel poured out her heart to God and asked His forgiveness. She felt the bitter iciness melt and the Lord’s familiar warmth wrap around her like a cozy warm 46

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blanket on a chilly night. She didn’t share the experience with Pastor; she didn’t feel the need. It was between her and God and she would never again let anything stand between them. Everyone at the Maplewood Home noticed the change. It was hard not to. The normally cantankerous Hazel Dearborn, who never attended any group activities and took her meals in her room, suddenly became a regular in the dining room and never once criticized the food. Even when the chicken was dry or the green beans overcooked, she never said a word. And she never even mentioned Mrs. Murphy’s Sunday pot roast. Kim Brody, the activity director was amazed when Hazel appeared one afternoon for her art class. She was even more amazed when Hazel painted a beautiful watercolor of the yellow sunflowers Kim picked that morning from the garden. “Hazel, this is beautiful. Where did you learn to paint like this?” she asked genuinely. “Thank you, dear. I haven’t painted for a very long time. My hands are not as steady as they once were,” and she told Kim of the art classes she had taken in college so many years before. And she taught Kim something very valuable that day; the old adage, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. She assumed Hazel was just an old woman with not much left to offer and here she was with a remarkable talent. Kim hoped she would be able to convince Hazel to share that talent with the others. Most surprised was Emily Campbell. She had been the receptionist for Maplewood since it opened ten years before. She had seen many residents come and go. When they went, it was most often with the help of Bill Foster’s funeral services. Maplewood was an end point for the majority of senior citizens that moved in. 47

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Emily had the perfect personality for her job. She was compassionate and caring, but not thin-skinned enough to be crushed by a surly resident’s disposition. Most of them were kindly and sweet-tempered, but there was always the occasional crank who would bang their cane on her desk with some irrational complaint. Emily would just smile and say she would take care of it; which she would try, to the best of her ability. More often than not, the complaint would be forgotten by the resident before he or she had left the lobby. Some couldn’t, or like Hazel Dearborn, wouldn’t leave their rooms and would lodge their complaint via their phone. So when Hazel wandered out into the lobby that fateful day, Emily swallowed hard. Must be something really big, she thought, for Hazel to leave her room. She steady herself for the barrage and was stunned when Hazel asked for the activity schedule for the week. Emily sat open-mouth, staring after her as Hazel left the desk, schedule in hand. From that time on, Emily would see Hazel come and go, smiling at all she passed and Emily wondered what did Pastor Henry say to change her that day. So when Pastor called her the next day to inquire about a surprise party, she was glad to help. There would be plenty of room in the reception hall. She knew Hazel had no family and almost no visitors, so she didn’t expect more than a handful of guests. When Ruth Henry called with the final count and said there would be 68, she was shocked. Luckily, the room held 100, so it wouldn’t be a problem. And by that time, Emily had grown so fond of the formerly disagreeable Hazel Dearborn that she planned to attend the party herself. She also elicited Kim’s help and decided to have the other residents attend, as well. 48

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Kim came up with a wonderful idea and secretly took all the paintings that Hazel did in her classes and had them framed. She planned to put them on display in the room for all her guests to see. As a gift, Kim purchased Hazel her own paint box with a small engraved nameplate. As time grew nearer for the party, Emily and Kim’s excitement grew with it. Hazel was fast becoming a favorite among the residents of Maplewood Home.

It was the morning of Hazel’s party and Jack stopped in the office to pick up the gift he and Ruth had purchased for her from the church bookstore. It was a beautiful leatherbound, large print bible engraved with her name and birthday. He had handwritten a touching inscription on the inside. He stopped at Allison’s desk on the way out. “Allison, Patty seems to be catching on well, don’t you think?” Pastor Henry asked. “Yes, she understands the database and the…” Jack was waving his hand to have her stop explaining things he didn’t understand and didn’t have time to learn. Allison just laughed with understanding. “I’ll be leaving early this afternoon, if that’s ok,” she said, knowing that it would be. “Jenny and I have a meeting with Mom’s attorney for the reading of her will.” They had put it off for several weeks because neither of Mary McFarland’s daughters were ready to put everything to rest. But it was time now. Allison had only a few more weeks left before she returned to the city. She and Jenny already started to choose the items that belonged to their mother that meant the most to them. Jenny was fondest of her mother’s collection of porcelain dolls and having a 49

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daughter of her own, she hoped to pass them on one day herself. Allison felt most attached to her mother’s white porcelain tea set with the hand painted roses. She remembered all the times her mother would bring it to the table and pour them all a soothing cup of chamomile or Earl Gray. Allison had a special place picked out for it in her apartment. Mary had already packed up and given most of her clothes and things she knew her daughters didn’t want, to the Salvation Army. As was her nature, she didn’t want to burden them when she was gone. So the only thing left was the reading of the will. “Of course,” Jack said. “Take off whenever you want. Will you be okay?” he asked, concerned that she was holding herself together just a little too well since the funeral. He knew she was the stronger of the two sisters, but he also knew how much she loved her mother. And he knew that she had no idea what she was in for when the will was read. Mary had sworn him to secrecy, so he couldn’t let on that it might be a rough afternoon. “Call me, if you need to. I’ll be up late tonight,” he offered, knowing she might have more than just a few questions. “The party should be over by four and we’ll be going home afterwards,” he said, as left to pick up Ruth and the kids.

Ruth was ready to leave when Jack came through the kitchen door. The boys were dressed in their Sunday best and Sarah was wearing the dress she wore for her own birthday party. She was bouncing around the kitchen with the same excitement she exhibited the month before. She was under the illusion that they would be again be playing pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs. Try as they might, they couldn’t get the little girl to understand that it was going to be more of a grown-up party. 50

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“But Daddy,” she pleaded, “ it’s Mrs. Dearborn’s birthday!” Ruth and Jack just shrugged their shoulders and packed everyone off into the car.

Emily and Kim worked very hard to keep Hazel away from anything that would hint of the party. Kim made an excuse that she needed Hazel’s help that morning to organize the residents artwork for a craft sale. She went to Hazel’s room right after breakfast with a notebook and file folder. They spent several hours working on what Hazel thought was to be a fundraiser for the home, never suspecting that Mrs. Murphy and a host of church women were scurrying around the kitchen and reception hall preparing just for her. As was her custom, now that she spent a good deal of time out of her room, Hazel was dressed in a pretty flowered dress that was well-suited for the party atmosphere. She had her hair done at the home’s beauty shop just two days before. Her snow-white hair framed the soft face and the lines around her eyes crinkled when she smiled. She looked like a friendly, beloved grandmother; yet sadly, there were no grandchildren to be at the party. Kim hoped that today Hazel would feel the love and appreciation of the surrogate children she loved and taught through the years. By 11:00 am, the reception hall was filled with the partygoers. The air was bubbling with excitement, as the anticipation increased. Many of Hazel’s former students were grown with children of their own and hadn’t seen each other for many years. It was like a family reunion and Jack Henry was pleased . What started out as a simple idea to comfort an old woman had taken on a life of its own. Here were almost 90 people that once loved Hazel Dearborn; their memories had been awakened and they’d come to celebrate and 51

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give tribute to her godly life. Kim kept a close eye on the clock so she could wrap things up by 11:20 and then walk Hazel towards the dining room for “lunch.” She planned to ask Hazel to stop in the reception hall first, so they could survey the area for the bogus craft sale. Kim had butterflies in her stomach, as they walked out of Hazel’s room. In the past weeks, she had come to look upon Hazel in a completely different light. As they would sit together after art class, Hazel talked of the art museums she visited when she was in college in New York. Kim discovered that Hazel Dearborn was really quite remarkable. She received a BA in fine arts and used her talents in teaching about God’s love. Harry Dearborn asked for her hand in marriage right after her college graduation and they were wed shortly after. They settled in Maplewood where Harry obtained a job as assistant bank manager at the First Savings and Loan on Elm St. Hazel took a job as a substitute teacher at Maplewood Elementary, since she expected to start raising a family right after they were wed. As the barren months passed and then the years, it became apparent that Hazel could have taken a full-time teaching job, but by then, she was wellentrenched in Grace Christian Church and spent most of her time and energy in the bible education of her Sunday school class; nurturing her little ones for God.

Luckily, Hazel was slightly hard of hearing so she didn’t hear the slight din behind the reception hall doors. Kim turned the handle and opened the door to a room full of balloons, streamers and people yelling surprise! Hazel’s eyes took a few moments to become accustomed to the dim lighting and focus on the huge hand painted banner that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL! When it all finally registered, she started to cry. 52

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“Oh my…oh my,” was all she could say. Emily led her to the guest of honor’s chair, since she seemed a bit unsteady on her feet. As Hazel looked around the room, she saw many faces she recognized and many she didn’t. Everyone wore nametags and Jack Henry was amazed that even though Hazel didn’t recognize a face, she remembered all the names. “Pastor, I can’t believe you did this…for me. Why?” she asked, still shocked at the idea that all these people she thought had long since forgotten her, hadn’t. “Because I wanted you to realize that you are still an important person and a valuable member of Grace Church,” he responded, sincerely. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I will never forget this day…never.” He saw the appreciation and gratitude in her misted blue eyes and it deeply touched his heart.

The party was a huge success and Sarah left happy, even if they didn’t play musical chairs. Hazel spent time with each of her guests and had her picture taken with each of them. Emily was going to put all the pictures into an album for Hazel to have forever. When the final guest left, it was almost 4:00 and Hazel was tired, but happier than she had been in a very long time. She felt loved and appreciated, when only a month ago she felt alone and forgotten. God had given her a glimpse of the contribution she made in other peoples lives; the work she had done to serve Him. It was a rewarding life and she felt truly blessed. Her only regret was that Harry wasn’t there with her. It took quite some time to settle Sarah and the boys into bed. After dinner, they were still wound up from the party. Ruth read them a bedtime story, gave them a glass of water and then tucked them into bed. She moaned slightly, as she eased herself onto the sofa 53

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and kicked off her shoes. It was a long day, but a very satisfying one. They had accomplished their mission; Hazel Dearborn had the best birthday, ever. It was 9:30 when the phone rang. “I’ll get it hon,” Jack said, knowing that it was probably for him. He often was summoned at night to help a parishioner in need. Ruth was used to it. “Oh, no,” was all he said as he hung up the receiver. “What is it, Jack?” Ruth asked. “That was Emily Campbell. They went in to say goodnight to Hazel. She was sitting in her armchair. They thought she was asleep…Ruth, she’s…passed away.” “Oh, Jack…no!” She went to him and they hugged and cried. They couldn’t believe it. They went into the kitchen and Ruth put the kettle on for tea. They sat and talked for almost an hour, consoling each other. They were both saddened with Hazel’s passing, but they knew she died happy and that she went to be with the Lord. They supposed that they were mourning for themselves, and not for her; Hazel was in glory; Hazel was home. She wouldn’t be missing Harry anymore.

It was 10:15PM when the phone rang again. Jack looked over at Ruth and thought, now what? “Hello?” “Pastor, it’s Allison…” she said. He could hear the distress in her voice. This was the call he was expecting.

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CHAPTER 5 -- THE BEQUEST

Allison was pacing in her kitchen when Jack Henry arrived. She felt guilty calling him so late at night, but the more she thought about it, the more she knew it couldn’t wait. “I’m sorry, Pastor,” she apologized, as she let him in and he sat down at the kitchen table. “It’s alright. I thought you might need to talk after the will was read.” He felt very weary. The day had started out so well, he thought. And now here he was; Hazel had died and he was

sitting with Allison to discuss Mary’s bequest. He knew Allison had

enough she was going to have to deal with tonight, so he didn’t tell her about Hazel. Time enough for that tomorrow. As she poured them both a cup of tea, she settled into the chair opposite his. She noticed the sadness in his eyes and started to regret having disturbed him. It was not like her to need someone else to turn to. She was always strong and independent, but she was thrown and knew he was the only one with answers. “So, Pastor, I understand you know about the bequest,” she said with just the smallest hint of resentment. He could have warned her, she thought. 55

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“I’m sorry, Allison. Your mother made me promise not to say anything,” he said, reading her thoughts. “Why? What is this all about? I don’t understand,” she said, as she shook her head. “Tell me what you know. What happened this afternoon?” he asked. Allison sipped from her cup and told him.

Jenny and Allison arrived at Earl Henderson’s office at a few minutes before three. They were Mary’s only close relatives and the only ones that needed to be there. Both daughters knew that their father left an insurance policy for their mother when he died and that she was well taken care of. Her medical bills had been paid and the mortgage had been paid off just before Patrick McFarland died. Neither one of the girls really thought about the estate except to be grateful that their mother was comfortable in her own home before she died. But now, the reality of the future was at hand and they were here to find out the particulars. “Allison, Jenny, please sit down,” Earl Henderson said, as his secretary ushered them into his small office. “I’m so sorry for your loss. Mary will be missed,” he said genuinely. Earl had been their parents’ attorney since they were married and was a trusted friend of the family. Allison felt the beginnings of a headache form at her temples. For no particular reason, she hadn’t slept very well the night before. She faced this day with a small amount of dread. Once the will was read and Patty’s training complete, she would be heading back to Wallace & Wallace. It would be the end of her familiar life in Maplewood and she 56

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would only have memories of her mother. She already felt the emptiness in the house as she walked room to room to finish the packing. She and Jenny already knew that they were to inherit the house. Since she and John had their own home, Jenny told Allison that she was welcome to stay in their mother’s house. Allison was grateful for the offer, but declined. She was going back to her apartment and life in the city. So with regret, they decided to sell the McFarland home. There were many wonderful memories in the house on Hillside Ave. Mr. Henderson opened the envelope that housed Mary McFarland’s will. She had added the codicil only 8 months before and Earl knew that neither of the girls knew of its existence. He would have preferred that Mary discuss it with them before she died, but it was her choice not to. First he read the main portion of the will explaining that the girls were to inherit everything equally. There was the house and its possessions; Mary had a special pair of gold earrings that Patrick had given her on their 25th anniversary, she wanted Jenny to have; there was her golden crucifix she wanted Allison to have. There was a small insurance policy for them to split. Allison knew Jenny would put her portion of the policy and house profit into a savings account for the twins future. John provided well for them and this would give them a nice nest egg. Allison would use her half to eventually purchase a home for herself, perhaps a condo in the city in that new building on Morton Ave. When Mr. Henderson folded the will and replaced it in the folder, Jenny stood up to leave. “We’re not quite finished,” Earl said. Jenny sat back down. 57

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“Oh. I’m sorry,” she said, surprised that there was more. “Your mother added this last year,” he said as he pulled a VCR tape out of the box on his desk and placed it into the machine across the room. Both the girls just looked at each other, puzzled. Earl pushed the button and the tape began to play.

“Allison, Jenny,” their mother was saying from the TV in front of them. The girls started to cry at the unexpected image of their deceased mother, alive in front of them. “The first thing I want to say is that you are both the most wonderful daughters any mother could have ever had. I love you both very much. I know that you are sad right now, but I hope you will remember what a wonderful life we had together and go on to have meaningful lives of your own. I was blessed with a loving husband and two special children. If you let Him, the Lord will bless you both with an extraordinary life. Now it’s time to tell you about something the Lord blessed me with in these past few years. I ask you to open your hearts and forgive me for not having shared this with you before. When your father died, I was so devastated and angry that God had taken him so unexpectedly, I turned inside myself. You were both loving and concerned and tried to help me come out of my depression, but it was no use. My grief overtook me and I gave up on life. Neither of you knew how deep my despair was or that I was planning to take my own life.” Allison stood up and shouted, “no!” She had no idea and was shocked at the revelation. 58

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“Then,” Mary continued on the tape, “the Lord intervened.”

It was the end of October, many months after her husband died so suddenly and the leaves had already fallen from the trees. The air had grown cold, as the wind snapped at Mary McFarland’s face. She pulled her sweater up around her neck, wishing she had worn a jacket instead of the heavy wool sweater. Her hair pulled back and fastened with a metal clip and her ears stung with the cold. As she walked across the parking lot of Bannister’s hardware on the outskirts of Maplewood, she regretted having left the house. Her depression had deepened every day, as she just couldn’t seem to reconcile her feelings about losing her beloved Patrick. No matter how hard she tried, she slipped deeper and deeper into a thick black melancholy. She knew that her daughter’s would be devastated if she took her life; a sin that would haunt them, forever. Every day she hung on for one more day, but it became, at first, difficult and then, impossible to pray. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she lost the battle and succumbed to the despair. It seemed as if God had abandoned her. After she purchased her light bulbs and left Bannister’s, she walked next store to the food market. Normally she shopped right in Maplewood, but these days she didn’t want to run into anyone she knew; so she would make the 20 minute drive to the edge of town, in hopes of shopping in obscurity. As she left the market, she practically stumbled over a small child of 4 or 5 standing near the exit. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said to the disheveled little girl. When she took a closer look, she noticed that the poor little thing was barely clothed, wearing a tattered dress and torn 59

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tights. “Where is your mother?” Mary asked gently, as she bent down to the child. “Don’t know,” she said as her bottomed lip quivered with both the cold and fear. “Are you lost?” “No. My mommy’s lost,” the child started to cry. “Now, now. It’s ok. We’ll find her,” Mary said, as she took off her sweater and wrapped the little girl in it. “What’s you name?” she asked. “Maggie,” she said, still crying. “Maggie what?” Mary asked, assuming her mother couldn’t be far away. “Dunno,” she said. “Did your mommy go in the store?” she asked, as she carried the little girl into the market, both to get warm and find her mother. “No. She’s been lost for long time,” Maggie was sobbing now. Mary stopped in her tracks. She realized that Maggie might not be lost; she might be abandoned. She went straight to the service desk and summoned the manager. Mr. Ralston first paged overhead for the little lost girl and then called the police when there was no response. He brought Mary and Maggie into the market break room and heated a cup of noodle soup in the microwave. Mary declined any, but watched Maggie devour the warm noodles and drink the soup. Mary didn’t know when this little waif had eaten last. Her heart broke for Maggie. She prayed that her mother really had just lost her, for how could anyone just abandon their own sweet child.? When Sgt. Cory arrived and took Mary’s statement, he just shook his head. He knew it 60

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was more likely that Maggie had been left by some desperate single mother than not. Nowadays, he saw things that would have been unheard of only ten years before. After calling the station house, Sgt. Cory said he was to take the child to the Dept. of Social Services. They would take over and place her somewhere. Mary felt her heart break in two as Maggie threw her arms around her neck and hugged tight. “Bye, Mrs. Mary,” she called her. “Can I go with you, Sgt. To help get her settled?” Mary pleaded. Sgt. Cory agreed and was grateful for the help. He knew the little girl would be tough to handle alone. Mary sat with Maggie in the back of the police car, as he drove them to the Grove City Dept. of Social Services. Nancy Grayson was the social worker who was assigned to Maggie’s case. She was a pleasant, though overworked woman in her early 40’s. She explained that there were more and more children coming in the system than it could handle. Grove City was relatively small for a city, but the poverty level was alarming. The local mill had closed down eight years before and left many unable to provide for their families. Some men sought work elsewhere, some gave up and abandoned their families completely. Others worked two jobs while their wives worked and tried to raise the family. All in all, things were grim for many in Grove City. Mary McFarland had been relatively unaware of the conditions in Grove City. Grace Church had many fundraisers for local charities and they regularly collected for the poor, but she had never really stared the poor in the face before. And here was the face of a 4 year old with little more than the tattered dress on her back. She was suddenly filled with 61

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fury and it sparked a fire in her heart. How could she feel sorry for herself when their were children like Maggie, poor and alone? Mary felt ashamed that she had considered throwing God’s precious gift, her life, back in His face. Maggie clung to Mary during the intake interview. Nancy Grayson said she had a temporary place for her with a kind older couple that could be trusted to care for Maggie until she could find permanent foster care. When Mary tried to leave, Maggie cried and grabbed her leg. “Maggie, sweetheart. It is going to be okay. I promise you. I’m going to make sure of it,” Mary said, as she stroked the little girls tangled brown hair. After some convincing, Maggie took Nancy’s hand and left for her new temporary home. Mary was silent as Sgt. Cory drove her back to her car, but her mind was racing. God had given her a purpose, a mission and she couldn’t wait to get started. The very next morning after a brisk shower, she went to call on Pastor Henry. She thought he would be the likely starting place. Jack Henry was pleased to see Mary. Since Patrick’s death, she had become more and more distant and even Ruth couldn’t draw her out. And Ruth could usually cheer even the most maudlin of souls. “Pastor, I need you to pray for me,” she requested. “Of course. What is the difficulty?” he asked. He was surprised at her answer. “I believe God has shown me that he wants me to enter the mission field,” she said, eagerly. Jack was puzzled. He knew God worked in mysterious ways and he never questioned 62

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God’s wisdom. He did however question man’s. In his experience, rash decisions in the name of “service” were made, particularly after traumatic life occurrences. Mary was wise to come and ask for prayer, so they could come before the Lord and request His guidance. Jack supposed that it was possible for God to call her to the mission fields of Bora Bora or Venezuela, but it could also be a misguided thought on Mary’s part, born out of her despair. When she told him about Grove City, he just shook his head. He had made visits there himself to bring contributions to the local shelter and food bank. He was well aware of the situations there and a portion of their mission budget always went to local needs. But the story Mary relayed touched his heart. “Pastor, Patrick left me a very large inheritance, too much for my needs, even in the future. My girls are both doing well and won’t need all that money when I’m gone someday. I believe God is calling me to do something special with it. I believe He wants me to provide a place for children like Maggie and their mothers, so they don’t have be abandoned. Maybe Maggie’s mother just felt so desperate that she didn’t know what else to do. Maybe if there was a place they could live until they got on their feet. Maybe…” she went on. Pastor closed his eyes and prayed as she talked. He felt a great peace and heard the words, no greater love have you, than for your brother, echo in his head. It was Mary’s confirmation. Yes, he believed it was God’s will for her and Grove City. They opened their bibles and searched scripture together until they knew that Mary was headed in a direction towards God’s purpose. 63

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Jack knew it was going to be a huge undertaking and advised her to speak with Earl Henderson to discuss the legal details. Then he gave her the name of Warren Newbury, pastor of New Hope Church in Grove City. Warren worked with the local shelter and was wellacquainted with the ins and outs of the social service system. “One more thing Pastor,” she said before she left. “Absolutely nobody is to know about this. Not my daughters, not Ruth…nobody.” By the tone in her voice he knew she was serious. “But Mary, why? You’re going to need help and surely…” “No. This must be something that I do anonymously. I will get help in Grove City, but there must be no mention of this here.” She was adamant. “You must promise me that you will never tell anyone, not even my daughters. They will find out someday, after I am gone.” Jack didn’t understand, but he agreed to comply with her wish.

Mary got started right away. Scott Randolph from Granville Realty helped her find a large Victorian house that needed only cosmetic remodeling. Structurally, it had 8 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. The huge, recently remodeled kitchen housed a dormitory sized wooden table that would be plenty big enough to seat 18 to 20 for their meals. On the first floor, there was a library that would double as a playroom for the children and an old-fashioned parlor that would serve as a gathering area for the women, after the children were put to bed for the night. Scott made the arrangements for the painters and met them with a list of colors Mary 64

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picked out for all the rooms. She wanted it to be a cheerful, welcoming home; a home that would help unfortunate women and their children to feel safe and hopeful. She would stock the library shelves with positive, uplifting books and of course, many copies of the Holy Bible. There would be no preaching, but God’s presence would be evident. Mary found a young woman of 26 to act as house manager. Her name was Maxine Stratton. She was in need of a good job and when Mary interviewed her, she was so impressed with the girls maturity that she hired her on the spot. Mary McFarland was always a great judge of character and she hadn’t gone wrong with Maxine. Right from the start, Maxine made Angel House, as Mary named it, a welcoming and well-run home. Six of the eight bedrooms in the house had been filled within the first 3 weeks. The seventh was vacant and the last was kept in reserve for any emergency situation that might arise. It was just before the end of the first month when Nancy Grayson called her from DSS. “Mary, you won’t believe it. We found Maggie’s mother!” “You’re kidding. How? Where?” Mary asked, eagerly. Ever since Maggie came into her life, she visited the little girl several times a week. The Irelands were a lovely couple in their 50’s who had raised three sons and now took in foster children on a temporary basis, until they could be placed long term. Once Maggie settled in, she looked at them as loving grandparents and though she missed her mother deeply, she was warm and fed and cared for. Mary made sure that she had all the essentials. “We found her at Newington General Hospital. She was in the convalescent wing for months. As it turned out, she was very ill when she left Maggie with a friend in Grove 65

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City. Her friend was not as reliable as she thought and left Maggie at the market before she took off with her boyfriend. Maggie’s mother, her name is Wendy Proctor, nearly died and had no idea Maggie was abandoned. She has been trying to find her for weeks. Luckily, Sgt. Cory sent me the call. Do you want to come with me when I bring Maggie to see her mother?” “Yes. Yes, I would like that very much,” Mary cried.

“Mommy! Mommy!” Maggie screamed, as she ran into her mother’s arms. “Oh, Maggie!” Wendy Proctor cried, as she buried her face in the little girls hair. Mary and Nancy stood and wept in each others arms. Nancy’s job was usually filled with grief and abuse and very few happy endings like this one. Wendy was due to be discharged in the next few days. She was thin and pale from her illness. She looked older than her 25 years, but Mary could tell that once she was nursed back to health, Wendy would be a very pretty young woman. Before she became ill, Wendy worked as a cashier at a local auto parts store. She had no health insurance which is why she waited so long to seek medical care. Alex Bradley, her boss never knew she took ill. He just assumed she quit the minimum wage job when she didn’t come in to work her shift; he replaced her the same day with another single mom, desperate to feed her baby. “How can I thank you, Mrs. Mary?” Wendy asked. “You probably saved Maggie’s life.” Mrs. Mary was what Mary McFarland was called by all those in her new world. The only ones who knew her real name were Nancy Grayson and Scott Randolph. “God just put me in the right place at the right time. Maggie is a very brave little girl.” 66

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Mary watched Maggie stroking her mother’s light brown hair. Her heart overflowed with joy, as she watched the tearful reunion. “What will you do when you get discharged?” Mary asked. “I don’t know yet. I guess I lost my apartment while I was in here. I’ll need to find a job, first. Do you think Maggie could stay with her foster family until I get on my feet,” the frail girl asked. “Mommy…NO!” Maggie cried. “I want to be with you!” Maggie cried, as she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother’s neck. “It won’t be for long Maggie. I promise,” she said, as she kissed the tears from her daughter’s cheeks. You could see the look of fear in Maggie’s eyes. She was probably told the same thing when Wendy entrusted her to her untrustworthy friend. “Wendy, I think I have a better solution,” Mary said gently. She was glad that the unoccupied bedroom at Angel House was the large corner room. That was painted pale yellow with white trim. Mary thought it was the prettiest one and hoped it would go to someone special. It gladdened her heart that it would be Maggie and her mother. Maggie reluctantly went home to the Ireland’s that night after Mrs. Mary was able to convince her that she would be with her mother in a few days. First she took the little girl to show her where she and her mother would be moving. It was much nicer than the dingy apartment they lived in before her mother went away. Mrs. Mary told Maggie that the daybed in her room would turn into her bed at night. Maggie touched the frilly yellow and white bedspread on her mother’s bed. It was so pretty, she thought. Prettier than 67

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anything her mother ever had before. Mrs. Mary and Maggie went to pick Wendy up at the hospital a few days later. Wendy was weak and needed help in and out of Mary’s car. Mary brought her a cup of tea in the parlor when they arrived at Angel House. The resident’s liked to call it the parlor; they said it sounded very refined, something that was not always easily evident in their lives, before Angel House. Mary asked the other women to let Wendy have her privacy until she was settled in her room and they complied. Each of them had their own different struggles, but their one common ground was that they all had struggles that were not easily surmountable. Angel House was now their home and it helped each of them to rebuild their lives. They were more than just a little grateful to Mrs. Mary and they would do anything for her. Mary helped Wendy up the stairs to her room. Wendy started to cry as she looked around. There was a ruffled bedspread and an pink and green flowered chair. There was a daybed and a nightstand. It was like a tiny piece of pastel heaven. Mary eased her into bed for a nap and then took Maggie down to the playroom to meet some of the other children. Mary didn’t know if was just the nap or finally being with her daughter in a safe place, but when Wendy walked downstairs she looked like a new person. She was still pale, but there was a peaceful expression on her face. As she watched from the doorway, she smiled as Maggie sat playing dolls with another little girl. “We can be very happy here,” she said to Mary.

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As it turned out, Wendy was a marvelous cook. Every afternoon, she baked cookies for the residents; her chocolate chip were everyone’s favorite. When Annie Lawrence’s husband was transferred to California, she needed to quit her job as housekeeper at Angel House. Mary offered the job to Wendy who had sufficiently recovered her health to start looking for work. She gladly accepted because it meant she could be home with Maggie while she cleaned and cooked for the rest of, what had now become, her family. Mary’s mission field thrived. Angel House became a haven for women and children in need. The resident’s were carefully screened for those who would take best advantage of it’s services. It became an oasis for those who needed a respite from troubled times, until they could get on their feet and move on to an independent life for themselves and their children. As the years passed, many came and went; but Wendy and Maggie stayed on. Wendy took over and became irreplaceable, as house manager when Maxine Stratton married and moved to Ohio. It just seemed natural for her to stay on, since it was Maggie that was Mary’s catalyst for starting Angel House in the first place. Most of all, it seemed that this was where God wanted her and Maggie to be. Wendy started to attend church shortly after arriving at Angel House. She knew Mrs. Mary was a Christian and she wanted the same peace and glow that Mary had. It didn’t take long for her to find it in New Hope Christian Church and in the presence of God. Maggie came to know the Lord and that Angel House was inspired by Him. She prayed every day for Mrs. Mary, the woman who, with God’s intervention, had changed her life. Mrs. Mary came to visit at least twice a week. Wendy didn’t have any real information about her, even her real name. Everything financial was done through a lawyer in Maplewood. Wendy was far too grateful to ever pry, so she just enjoyed their friendship. 69

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She knew that it was blessed. Several years after Wendy took over as house manager, Mary’s visits started to drop off. Wendy noticed that she was looking paler and thinner. One day, Mary went into Wendy’s office to talk. Uncharacteristically, she closed the door behind her and sat down. “Wendy, I have some distressing news,” she said sadly. Wendy sat silently, as she listened. “This is not easy to say.” Wendy felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. “What is it, Mary?” she whispered. “Wendy, I have cancer. I don’t have very long left,” Mary said calmly. Wendy was speechless. A single silent tear rolled down her cheek. Mary reached across and took her hand. Wendy started to sob. “It’s alright. I have had a wonderful life and I have been very blessed.” “How can you say that? How can God take you from us?” Wendy asked, distraught. Mary realized that Wendy was just a baby in her faith. She still thought that nothing bad happened, if you were a believer. She would have time to teach her one last lesson on God’s grace and true faith. “Wendy, God brought you into my life for a reason. Can’t you see that if you hadn’t gotten so sick and your friend hadn’t abandoned Maggie, Angel House would never have happened? Look at the blessings that God created through terrible things,” Mary said, sincerely. Wendy just hung her head. What Mary was saying made sense in her head, but her heart was breaking. Mrs. Mary was like a mother to her and she had grown to love her deeply. And Maggie would be devastated. How would she even be able to tell her? What 70

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would she say? Maggie was old enough now to understand. She was almost nine and had become a sweet, sensitive girl who considered Mrs. Mary like her grandmother. “If you want, I’ll tell her. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to visit and I don’t want her…or you to watch me fade away. I have 2 daughters that will be with me at the end. I want Maggie to remember this,” Mary said, as she waved her hand in the air, indicating Angel House. “It’s what I will remember.” Mary told her that Angel House would live on after she was gone. She told her about the bequest. She had set up a trust with the large inheritance from her husband’s estate and there would be enough to run Angel House for many years to come. Her attorney would be in charge of the finances and she wanted Wendy to stay on and take over the position as director. Up until now, Mary had functioned in that role. She trusted Wendy to take over when she was gone. Wendy was more than touched. She was deeply moved. No-one had ever trusted her with much of anything, as she grew up. Her father degraded her constantly, until she didn’t even trust herself. It wasn’t until Mary put her faith in her, that Wendy realized she had something valuable to offer the world. Now, Mary was asking her to have faith in the God that was letting her die. Well, if Mary was asking, then Wendy had to oblige. She loved her that much. Mary also told her that her daughters knew nothing of Angel House and would not know until the reading of the will. “Mary, why?” she asked, incredulously. “I know it seems odd, Wendy. And I’m sure my daughters will be very puzzled and perhaps even angry that I never shared this part of my life with them.” Mary was thinking particularly of Allison. Jenny would just accept it as a part of her mother’s creative 71

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spirituality, but Allison…well, she would be hurt that her own mother kept such a big secret from her.

Mary took Maggie for a walk in the park for their talk. Maggie was bubbling over about the school play she was going to be in sometime in late Spring. That gave Mary the opening to bring up her painful subject. “Maggie, I’m afraid I won’t be here, then,” she said. “Are you going on a trip, Mrs. Mary?” “Well, I guess I am, sort of,” she smiled, as she slipped her arm through Maggie’s. “I’m going to heaven.” “No, really…where are you going?” Maggie laughed. “Let’s sit over here,” Mary said, as she led Maggie over to a nearby park bench. They sat down and Mary looked into the girl’s trusting brown eyes and told her that she really was going to heaven. At first, Maggie didn’t understand; and then she did; and then she cried. Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box for Maggie. “What is it?” she asked. “Open it and see,” Mary said, hoping she would like the angel pendant. Maggie did as she was told. “Oh, Mrs. Mary. Is this for me?” she squealed. “Maggie, you are very special to me and to God, as well. I want you to wear this to remember that when I leave you, I will be with God. And we will both be there for you, whenever you need us. All you have to do is get down on your knees and talk. We will hear you.” 72

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“You mean pray?” Maggie asked. “Yes, Maggie. Pray,” Mary said, as she put her arms around the little girl who brought her out of the dark and back into God’s light.

Wendy received the phone call from Nancy Grayson. It was over; Mary’s suffering was over. She told Maggie that Mrs. Mary was with God now. They hugged each other and cried. Then they did what Mary asked them to do. They went to church and said a prayer. Then, Wendy took Maggie for ice cream.

Allison sat in silence after Pastor Henry told her about Angel House. There was such a mix of emotion running through her. She was touched, she was hurt, she was proud, she was angry. Jack let her sit with the feelings until she was ready to talk. “Why? Why didn’t she want us to know? I don’t understand this at all!” she cried. “Allison, your mother was a very special woman. When your father died, part of her died, too. She tried to rally, but she couldn’t and I think part of her was ashamed that she couldn’t. She once told me that she thought she let God down. That day when she found Maggie, God opened her heart and filled it with a very special gift. It was so profound and so personal that she couldn’t share it. She said it completed her and she didn’t want to dilute it with any wordly praise or tribute from others. What she did, she did out of love for God. Allison was still thinking of what Pastor said, long after he went home to Ruth. It was so much to take in. And where did that leave her now? A part of her wanted to go to Angel House to see her mother’s other love. Did she feel jealous that there was a woman 73

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and her daughter who had part of her mother’s heart? Impossible. Well, maybe just a little. Eventually, Allison was able to fall into a fitful sleep. When she awoke the next morning, she called Jenny. “Can I come over? “Sure. The twins will be next door all morning for a play date. I’ll put on some coffee.” Jenny was just putting away the breakfast dishes when Allison knocked on the back door. “Come on in, “ she called, as she poured Allison a cup of coffee and set it on the table. Allison sat down with a thud and took a sip of the hot brew. Jenny looked over as she poured herself a cup, too. “You look rotten,” she said. “Well, that matches how I feel,” Allison admitted, as she rubbed a hand over her forehead. She tossed and turned all night, trying to digest the information about her dearly departed mother. She decided that what she felt was betrayed. After the dust settled, she felt her mother had kept a secret, a very big secret from her. They had always been so close and there wasn’t anything they couldn’t discuss. Now, she questioned the very value of their relationship. And most importantly, Allison felt ashamed of herself. Mary McFarland had done a wonderful, honorable thing and here she was, resenting it. What kind of a daughter was she? What kind of a person? “What’s wrong?” Jenny asked, gently. They were very different, the two sisters. 74

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Allison was strong-willed, knew what she wanted in life and set out to get it; Jenny was softer, quieter and let God take the steering wheel for her direction. There was a contentment in Jenny’s life that was lacking in Allison’s. “I talked to Pastor Henry last night,” she said sullenly. “And?” Jenny asked with mild interest. Her reaction to her mother’s tape was considerably different than her sister’s. She was touched by her mother’s generosity and love for God. There nothing, but loving acceptance in Jenny’s heart and mind. She knew her sister was wrestling with different emotions. Allison relayed all the particulars that Jack Henry detailed to her. Jenny noted the underlying anger and hurt in Allison’s voice and when she was finished, Jenny went to her, put her arms around her sister and gave her a hug. Allison started to cry. Usually, she was staunch and her emotions were held in check, but the floodgates opened. The river flowed and years of grief and anger flowed with it. She had never completely grieved over her father’s death and now there was her mother’s. She cried at the injustice; at the loneliness; at the hole that was left in her heart when her father died; the hole that was now ripped wider apart and left gaping. Jenny held her sister for what seemed like hours. Her heart broke for her sister. She knew that Allison didn’t understand and there wasn’t any way she could explain it to her. As she held her, she prayed for God to open Allison’s heart. She knew her sister had hardened that heart so she wouldn’t be hurt. But here she was, hurt anyway. “I’m going back to the city next week,” Allison said, resolutely. “I thought you were going to be here ’til the end of the month,” Jenny said. “Patty is ready, and I can finish up what I need to do by Tuesday. I need to get back to 75

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my job,” and to my life…away from all this, she thought to herself. Jenny understood her sister and knew that her way of dealing with the pain would be to throw herself into her work and isolate herself from the reminders. “Have you told Pastor?” she asked. “No, I’m going to stop by the church when I leave here,” she said. Allison finished her cold coffee, thanked her sister for listening and left.

Jack Henry was sitting at the desk in his office when Allison came in. When he left her the night before, he went home and prayed for her. Jack shared what happened with Ruth. He felt now that Mary was gone, he could tell her, without breaking confidence. Jack needed his wife’s council on this matter. “Allison must be torn apart,” Ruth said, sympathetically. She knew Allison’s nature and knew she would be hurt. “I’m afraid so,” he said, as he kissed his wife, grateful for her gentle and understanding nature. He was blessed. “Good morning, Allison,” he said, as she walked into his office. He noted that she looked terrible. He could tell by her red-brimmed eyes, she had been crying. His heart went out to her; Mary McFarland had done something beautiful and Allison was not ready to accept that. He hoped that someday she would. He also knew she carried much hurt within her and that her true healing could come only from God. Jack knew nothing was impossible for God, but he sensed it might be impossible for Allison. “Pastor, thank you for coming by last night. I’m sorry I got upset,” she said as she 76

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down in the chair across from him. “It’s alright. It must have been a shock,” he empathized. “I think I have everything pretty well set up here and Patty has a good handle on things…so I think I’m going to finish up here on Tuesday,” she said, as she swallowed hard. Allison suspected that she might be able to fool her sister, but Pastor would know she was running away, back to her protected, isolated world in the city. Jack looked at her and felt her pain. He knew that he had to let her go. He would pray for her every day, that she might find peace. “There’s only one thing left not finished,” Allison admitted sheepishly. Jack knew what it was. “The Giving Tree?” “Yes,” she said, quietly. Allison had started on the phone calls and list the week before, so she was just beginning the project. There was so much more that needed to be done; it was not nearly finished. But now, her heart wasn’t in it and she felt a need to bolt out of Maplewood. The urge was so strong, she knew it would even be hard to stay until Tuesday. “I’m sorry,” she said genuinely. When Pastor asked her to help on the project, she thought it was a wonderful thing. She still did; she just couldn’t stay and finish it. The luster had been taken off it. What she didn’t know and now he certainly couldn’t tell her, was that the Giving Tree was her mother’s idea. It came as an offshoot from Angel House. No, he certainly would not tell her now. As they were talking, the phone rang. Jack answered it and spoke briefly to Emily Campbell. From his end of the conversation, Allison understood. 77

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“Hazel died last night. I got the call before I came to see you,” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, very ashamed that she dragged him away from what was a far more important situation. “There was nothing to be done last night. And we needed to talk. It was time.” “I didn’t even ask you how the party was,” she said, regretfully. “It was wonderful. Hazel was so touched. She was surrounded by people who truly loved her for what she had given them in their life.” Allison’s face burned with shame. She felt like an ungrateful, spoiled daughter. Here was this old woman who devoted her life to the church, honored by them before she died and here she was begrudging her mother the same honor. She pushed herself from the chair and ran from Pastor Henry’s office. Her emotions were a jumble and she knew the best thing for her was to get out of town. As the humid, summer air hit her face, she took a deep breath. Allison had a way of compartmentalizing her life. It was a coping mechanism she picked along the way. She would stuff her pain into a corner of herself and go on to the next thing. As horrible as she felt, she got in her car, drove home and packed her bags.

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CHAPTER 6 -- THE CITY

Allison was grateful she asked Carol to air out her apartment before she got home. Carol opened the windows, dusted, put some carnations in a vase and left a chicken salad in the refrigerator. Carol Denby was a good friend. It was a long drive home from Maplewood. Even with light traffic, it was close to three hours and all she wanted was to kick off her shoes, take a hot bath and collapse into bed. There was a stack of mail waiting on her kitchen table screaming to be opened. She had her mail forwarded to her mother’s until her last week there and the stack that awaited was just a few days worth of junk mail. Just what would she do with eight credit cards, if she filled out and sent in all the applications that begged her to reply? She pitied the poor people who overextended or even ruined their credit by falling for the enticing advertisements that promised the moon and just delivered financial ruin. Luckily, her father taught her early on, the value of money and good credit. Each week from the time she was five, Patrick McFarland would hand his daughter one shiny quarter and one dime. If she did her chores that week, she was allowed to spend the dime, but she had to put the quarter in her piggybank. At the end of each month, her father would open 79

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the bank and exchange the four quarters for a crisp one dollar bill. Then, he would take his daughter to the bank to deposit it in her own savings account. She would hand her passbook and the dollar to the teller, feeling like quite the grown-up little girl. Then, her daddy would take her for an ice cream cone at Rita’s Coffee Shop and Rita Calhoun would make quite a fuss over her. When Jenny was old enough to be included in the tradition, it became a threesome. The McFarlands believed in instilling family and financial responsibility in their children at an early age. Allison’s chores at the age of four were to put her toys in the toy box and bring her empty dinner plate to her mother at the sink after dinner. Simple things, but important lessons. As she grew, so did the chores and the monetary reward attached to it. Allison knew that her excellent money management skills were a direct result of the training she received as a child. She was very grateful, for she had seen many of her friends struggle with deep financial trouble from the easy access to extended credit. If she ever had a child, which certainly wasn’t in her plans any time soon (or perhaps, ever), she would be sure to follow her parents’ prudent example. After she luxuriated in the pre-planned bath, Allison curled up on the sofa with a scoop of the chicken salad that Carol left for her. She was dog-tired. She thought that her mother’s passing would end the ordeal, but as it turned out, it didn’t. She was so relieved to be back in her own place with her own belongings around her. She was able to mentally transport herself away from Maplewood, away from the story about Maggie and her mother, and away from Angel House. When Allison awoke the next morning, she felt 100% better. Just being home was a 80

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tonic. She showered and dressed with enthusiasm. She knew that neither Peter or David expected her in until Monday, but she was desperate to return her life to normal. She needed to have something to fill her head with, something other than Angel House. “Allison!” Peter exclaimed, as he saw her enter the office. David looked up from the copy machine and ran to hug her. “Allison, I am so glad you’re back!” he said, as let go his grip. She stood openedmouthed from his reception. Neither of the brothers had so much as ever shook her hand. Peter was always reserved and proper; David was more relaxed and casual, but still…he had certainly never hugged her. She attributed it to her prolonged absence. “We didn’t think you’d be back until Monday,” David said. “I know. I got back earlier than I thought and there was no use just sitting around.” “After all you’ve been through, why don’t you take a real vacation. Go to the beach or something,” Peter said, as he joined them. “Thanks, Peter. I appreciate the offer, but I really think I’d like to get back to work.” “Well, we certainly aren’t going to argue with you. We’ve missed you too much.” he said. Gretchen Hollister had done an adequate temp job while she was on her leave of absence, but Allison was more than just an assistant; she had become the backbone of the office. That was why she was going to be promoted to office manager. Peter and David had discussed it right before she left for Maplewood and planned to discuss it with her when she returned; if she returned. They knew there was always the risk that after her mother died, she might decide to stay close to what family she had left. They knew full 81

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well that she was bright and talented (and beautiful, as far as David was concerned). With her talent and resume, she could find a good job anywhere. They were relieved and grateful that Allison decided to come back to Wallace & Wallace. And they would make sure they offered her an attractive enough promotion package to keep her. Of course, they both had totally different reasons for wanting Allison McFarland to stay. Gretchen was sitting at Allison’s desk typing up contracts from the day before. She knew it was her last week and as a temp secretary, she was used to moving from job to job; she preferred it. As a newly married woman who wanted to start a family, she didn’t want to be tied down when she eventually became pregnant. As a matter of fact, there was a current possibility of that hope being realized; she would know for sure in a few days. “I guess you won’t need me to finish out the week,” Gretchen said to Peter Wallace. She was somewhat disappointed, since she would have liked the extra few days pay, particularly if there was going to be another mouth to feed. “Actually Gretchen, we still need you. And if you can, we’d like you to stay on indefinitely,” he said. Both Gretchen and Allison were surprised. “Sure, that would be great,” she said, mentally purchasing diapers with the extra money. “Allison, why don’t we go into my office,” Peter said. Allison followed them into Peter’s office and sat down in one of the expensive leather chairs across from his desk. David sat in a matching chair next to her. She felt the fluttering in the pit of her stomach. 82

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They were about to discuss her future with Wallace & Wallace. And this was exactly where she wanted her future to be. “Allison, David and I agree that you have been an excellent assistant, but we know you have potential to be so much more. The firm has grown significantly in the past year and we’ve decided expand your position to office manager. We’ll continue with an assistant; Gretchen will do for now, and then you can hire a replacement for her when she leaves. You’ll also need your own assistant. You will be responsible for organizing the entire office and as time goes on, we will want you to start learning to more of the business. Eventually, we’d like you to start handling clients. Perhaps, one day, even a partner.” Allison realized she was starting to feel a little dizzy because she was holding her breath, so she took inhaled and the exhaled slowly. This was more than she hoped for. She expected to be given a few more responsibilities and a raise, but this offer with the potential to become a partner took her completely off guard. “Of course, there will be a sizeable salary to go along with the position,” David added. Allison was not concerned about the money. Sure, a raise would be a great thing. There were lots of things she would like to buy, but the most important thing to Allison was establishing significant career at Wallace & Wallace. And with the possibility of actually becoming part of the firm, well, it was unimaginable. “You probably want to think about it. Why don’t you take a few days,” Peter said. “I don’t have to think. I accept and I’d like to get started right away,” she said, as she 83

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stood up and reached across to shake Peter’s hand. Did they really think she might possibly refuse the offer? If they did, then they didn’t know Allison McFarland in the least! When she turned to shake David‘s hand, he placed his hand tenderly on top of hers and said, “we need to celebrate!” “Of course!” Peter echoed. “Gretchen, would you call Molino’s and see if they have a table for three for 12:30?” Peter asked Allison’s replacement. “Certainly, Mr. Wallace,” she responded, as she picked up the phone. Allison’s head was spinning. She had worked very hard for Wallace & Wallace and it was her intention to work her way up the ladder to corporate success. It was a small, but powerful firm with much growth potential and now it appeared they would be boosting her up that ladder towards that goal. She was going to have her own assistant,; she was to be in charge; she was going to love her new life. Maplewood was drifting further and further into the distance of her consciousness.

Molino’s was the newest trendy spot in the city and it was getting harder and harder to get a table at the last minute, so David was glad they were able to accommodate them. David wanted to truly impress Allison and Molino’s had the right atmosphere. It was modern and chic with waiters that were impeccably dressed and trained. It had a crisp, professional ambiance during lunch that would be transformed to romantic elegance in the candlelight at dinner. He hoped to be dining alone with Allison at Molino’s in the very near future. 84

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Allison seemed lit from within, as she discussed ideas for the office with Peter. David sat uncharacteristically silent, as he watched her every move. He was totally unaware of what she was saying. You’ve got it bad, David my boy, he thought to himself. He knew he’d better talk to his brother pretty soon, because he was not going to be able to wait much longer.

After lunch, they took a taxi back to the office and Allison grudgingly agreed to take the rest of the afternoon off. She wanted to dive right into her new job, but they wanted her to do something frivolous like get her nails done or go shopping. So, after stopping at the market to do some shopping, she headed back to her apartment. Her cupboards were pretty bare after her prolonged absence and the only thing in her refrigerator was the chicken salad Carol brought over. And she put a pretty good dent in that, the night before. She looked around her, as she put the bags down on the kitchen table. It was small apartment, but comfortable and it had always been fine for her needs. She never entertained much and cooking and eating for one didn’t require a lot of space or elegance. Her prudence was evident from the economic surroundings. Allison felt she splurged by taking a one bedroom instead of a studio, but she believed that this was going to be her home for a very long time and didn’t want to move more than once. Still, it was small and not extravagant, tidy and well-ordered, as was her life. After putting away the groceries and flipping on the radio to her favorite classical music station, she sprawled out on the sofa. She found that she was suddenly exhausted. The months before, her mother’s death, Angel House…and now all this, it finally caught up to her and she fell into a sound, restful sleep. 85

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Somewhere in the distance, she heard something. In the haziness of sleep, she heard it again. Then as she slipped closer to consciousness, she realized it was a knock on her door. She shook herself completely awake and looked at the clock. It was 6:30! She had been asleep for nearly 3 hours. She jumped up and went to the door. Through the peephole, she saw Carol. “Hi!” Carol exclaimed as, she came through the door. She handed Allison a small bouquet of wildflowers as a welcome home gift. “Oh! Thank you, Carol,” she responded. “I can’t thank you enough for last night. I really appreciated the food. I was famished when I got home. Listen, I was just going to whip up something for dinner. Want to stay?” Allison offered. “Oh, I wish I could. I have a date with Jerry at 7. You could come with us,” she added, genuinely. Carol had been a good friend to her since she moved in. They were completely opposite in personality, but well-suited as friends. “Oh wouldn’t Jerry just love that, “Allison laughed, as she thought of herself as the third wheel on Carol’s date. “We’re only going to the movies,” she said. “Besides, he really likes you. He says you’re the only sensible friend I have.” Allison knew that Jerry was probably right. Carol was a bubbly, fun-loving girl who sometimes lived a little too much in the moment. Allison, on the other hand, was sensible to a fault. She could be depended on to do the responsible thing, whatever it was. It was what made her so good at her job. It was, however, what made her a somewhat dull companion in Carol’s eyes. 86

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Carol Denby was a year older than Allison, but acted several years younger. She was, as her father would have described it, sowing her oats. She didn’t plan on settling down until she was good and ready; and she certainly wasn’t ready yet. Her current boyfriend, Jerry Grissini, was her most serious to date and wanted to start talking about settling down. Carol wasn’t anywhere near thinking about it. So Jerry was just biding his time, in hopes that she would keep dating him long enough for him to win over her heart. “Thanks, but I still need to finish unpacking and settle back in,” Allison replied to the invitation. She wanted to tell Carol about her new promotion, but she didn’t want to hold her up from her date. She could tell her tomorrow. After Carol left, Allison took down a jar of sauce and filled a pot with water to make some pasta. As she washed and chopped some vegetables to make a salad, she started to feel a bit lonely. For the past few months, there had always been someone else around and now she was back in her own world, and alone. It never bothered her before; she preferred it, but tonight she seemed to be missing the company of others. Maybe it was that she had exciting news and wanted to share it with someone. She thought she would call Jenny and tell her about the promotion, but she looked at the clock and realized she would just be settling the twins for bed. Maybe she would call later. Allison sat down at her kitchen table to eat dinner and found she didn’t have much of an appetite. She wrapped the leftovers and put them in the fridge for another night. As she went into the small living room, she felt restless and unsettled. Not knowing what was wrong with her, she shook her head and told herself to snap out of it. It didn’t work. She decided to call her sister, after all.

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“Allison! I was just thinking about you,” Jenny said, as she answered the phone. Allison caught her just as she was coming out of the twins’ room for the third time. She motioned to her husband to take over with the kids so she could talk to her sister. Jenny had been worried about Allison since the reading of the will. She knew she was troubled and didn’t want to talk about it. In Allison’s typical fashion, she wanted to bury it and forget it. Jenny knew that it was bound to surface, sooner or later and if this was the sooner, she wanted to be able to talk uninterrupted. “Hi Jenny. How’s everything back there?” Allison asked. She didn’t want to call it home. “Oh, the usual. The twins are running me ragged, nothing new. How ’bout you. Settling in ok?” “Sure. Carol had my apartment ready, so I just needed to do a little grocery shopping.” “When are you going back to work?” “Well, I went in today…” she said, hesitantly. “I thought you were going to wait a few days,” Jenny said. “Are you sure you shouldn’t take a little time for yourself?” Jenny knew how different she was from her sister and that Allison would be ready to jump right back in; she, on the other hand, would have wanted to ease back into it. “No, I need to get back to work. And as it turns out, they’ve offered me a bit of a promotion,” Allison admitted. “Allison! That’s great!” Jenny said, never having understood her sister’s ambition. “I knew they were thinking about it, but I didn’t expect it to be such a big advancement. I’m 88

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to be the office manager,” Allison said, containing her enthusiasm. She knew that Jenny couldn’t comprehend what that really meant. “I’m so happy for you. I know you’ve worked very hard for this,” Jenny said, sincerely. Maybe she did understand a little, after all, Allison thought. “I’ll be pretty busy from now on,” Allison was saying. “From now on?” Jenny interrupted. “Okay, I guess I’ve always been busy, but it will be worse now. I’m going to have a lot of responsibility and I have a lot to learn. I hope I can do this,” she admitted. “I have no doubt in my mind. You can do anything you set your mind to. You always have,” Jenny said, resolutely. “Thanks, Jen. I guess I needed to hear that.” Jenny became a little concerned. She had never known Allison to doubt herself. She had always been very self-assured, as far as her career skills were concerned. But she knew Allison was dealing with more than just the promotion. Jenny knew it, but she suspected that Allison didn’t. “I probably won’t be home again ‘til Thanksgiving,” Allison. There, it slipped out… home. “Well, please keep in touch. I know you’ll be busy, but please call, okay?” “Of course I will,” Allison said. She felt much better now that she had connected with her sister. She didn’t know how much she missed her until she heard her on the other end of the line.

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and with the sun streaming through the kitchen window, the day looked bright indeed. She showered and then slipped into her most professional-looking tailored suit. She knew she always dressed well for the office, but today was especially important. She wanted the Wallaces to feel secure in the knowledge that they made the right choice promoting in her. Appearance, she learned early on, could make all the difference. She grabbed a matching purse and set out for her first day in her important new position. “Hold it, hold it!” she heard Carol cry out, just as the elevator doors start to close. Allison hit the open button just in time and Carol was able to slip in before they closed again. “Thanks,” she said, breathlessly. “Running a little late?” Allison laughed. Carol was always running late. It went along with her philosophy that nothing in life was that important, at least not yet. She was waiting; and when something very special came along, well…then, she would take things seriously. Until then, she would be late, as usual. “You look particularly sharp today,” Carol noticed. “Thanks. I start a new job today,” she revealed. “You left Wallace & Wallace?” Carol asked, incredulously. “I thought that place was your life!” “It is. More now, than ever. They gave me a promotion to office manager,” Allison said shyly. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed at her success and she didn’t really know why. Carol knew about Allison’s ambitions and certainly would not be envious, since she had very little of her own. Perhaps knowing that her new 90

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position brought with it a significant salary that was practically double that of Carol’s, she felt awkward; even though she earned it. “That’s fantastic, Allison! You certainly deserve it. Personally, I think it’s about time they recognized your talents and did something about it. Which one of them told you? The skinny one or the good-looking one?” Carol asked in her forthright and sometimes rough-edged manner. “Carol!” Allison said with exasperation. Someday Carol was going to get herself into trouble. Or worse yet, get Allison into trouble. She made the mistake of inviting Carol to their annual office Christmas party last year and since then, she harped on David Wallace’s appeal. She thought he would be a great catch for Allison and Carol just couldn’t understand why she didn’t go after him. “Well? Was it David, or not?” she probed. “Actually, it was both of them,” she said, knowing Carol wouldn’t let up until she had all the details. So Allison told her about the job and lunch and Gretchen and everything else she could think of. By the time they reached the bus stop on the corner, Carol was fully apprised and felt satisfied. They said goodbye, as they went separate ways and Allison was relieved to stop discussing David Wallace. Over the years, she had a passing thought or two about his disarming good-looks and charm, but knew that romances with the boss only spelled disaster and she was not one to be derailed from her goals. Gretchen was just coming from the ladies room when Allison came off the elevator. She looked ashen. “Gretchen, are you alright?” Allison said with some alarm. The girl looked as if a 91

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slight breeze would knock her over. “I…I don’t think so. I think I need to sit down,” she said shakily. Allison helped her into the office and to her desk. She went to the water cooler and retrieved a paper cup of water for the poor girl, who was obviously ill. Gretchen took a sip from the cup and then went running from her desk back in the direction of the restroom. Peter was in his office with the door closed, so he was unaware of Gretchen’s distress; but David practically ran into her, as she bolted from the office. “Gretchen! What’s wrong?” he asked with great concern. She just looked at him and kept right on going. He stood helpless in the doorway, as Allison followed. Allison stood outside the stall, as she heard Gretchen’s retching. After a few minutes, she came out, pasty-white her face covered with sweat. She looked awful. “I’m so sorry,” Gretchen said, as she splashed cool water on her face. “I think I’m pregnant,” she revealed. “Oh, of course” Allison said. She was relieved that she didn’t have some horrible food poisoning. “We’ve been wanting to start a family. I didn’t think it was going to happen this soon… and I didn’t know I’d feel this rotten!” she laughed, weakly. Allison found herself laughing with her, as she handed her some paper towels to clean up. “Well, I guess congratulations are in order, but I think we should save the celebrating for another day. Right now, I think we need to get you home,” Allison directed. It was her first official directive as office manager. It felt good. 92

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“No, no…I’ll be okay now. I’m feeling much better now that my stomach is empty. I guess bacon and eggs wasn’t a good choice this morning.” The color had started to return to her face and her hands were no longer cold and clammy. “Are you sure? There’s no problem with you leaving,” Allison said with her new authoritative voice. “No, really. I do feel much better,” Gretchen replied, as she started to walk steadily back to the office. “Alright. But if you need to leave early, just tell me. Okay?” she said gently. “Thanks, Miss McFarland.” Gretchen said. Her response startled Allison. No one called her Miss McFarland. She wondered if Peter instructed her in the address. She had called both Peter and David “Mr. Wallace” when she started, but they had “informalized” it early on and now they were Peter and David to her. Perhaps they wanted a more formal office. She would have to discuss it with them. When Gretchen was back at her desk, pale, but significantly better, David called her into his office. Peter’s door was still closed. “Is she alright?” he asked as he closed the door behind her. “I think we’ll be replacing her sooner than we thought. Unless she plans on working through the pregnancy,” Allison replied. “Ah, I see. You handled it well,” he said. “I tried to send her home, but she said she’s feeling better.” “How are you doing today? Feel up to getting started?” he asked as he looked at her across the desk. He wanted to tell her all the feelings that he felt in his heart right then and there. But he knew it was too soon. Patience, David… patience. 93

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“Absolutely. The sooner the better,” she said, eagerly. “Good. Peter’s working with the Grant account at the moment, so why don’t we start with the Dreyfus files.” He picked up several file folders and passed them across to her and they began.

They worked until well after 7:00 and even Peter left before them. David was more than just a little impressed with Allison’s quick wit, as they scoured through file after file. Obviously, Peter’s idea to promote her was going to prove a valuable one. When they finally decided to quit for the evening; and it was his idea, not hers, they were ravenous. Gretchen sent out for their lunch at noon and the long-forgotten sandwich remains still laid on the paper plates on the table. “Let’s get a bite,” David suggested. “O’Toole’s makes a great steak.” Allison just followed him, not wanting to argue that she should go home to her leftovers. She knew that there would probably many late night meals with her expanded job responsibilities. O’Toole’s was right around the corner. It was a busy neighborhood place that served good food in a friendly atmosphere. There were no trendy waiters or snooty Maitre D’s, just amiable people serving hot, bountiful meals to hungry patrons. The atmosphere had none of the chic trappings of their lunch at Molino’s, but David was right; the steaks were great and they devoured them without much effort. David watched her as they ate. He was pleased to see that she was not one of those women who picked at their food in the presence of a male companion. She had a hearty appetite and she enjoyed her dinner, every bite of it. There were more and more things 94

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that he was learning to appreciate about her, as if there weren’t enough already. He signed for the check and told her, “expense account” as he put the receipt in a leather folder in his pocket. She started to object, as he put her in a cab, but she could see it was no use. She would not be taking the bus home from work, not if he had anything to do with it. It was almost ten when she let herself into the apartment. Nothing of significance in the mail, no messages on the answering machine. She made a cup of chamomile tea in a mug from above the stove. Then she remembered. She opened a small box sitting in the corner of the living room, a box she hadn’t unpacked last night. She carefully removed the tissue paper and place the china cup with the hand painted roses on her table. She fingered the thin porcelain, holding it up to the light and appreciating it’s translucence. As memories of her mother tried to flood back, she held them at bay. She had become adept at compartmentalizing her mind and keeping distressing thoughts walled up where she could ignore them. Still, an occasional one would slip through and she found herself wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, as she finished her tea and washed out the cup. As she drifted through layers of consciousness into a deep, restful sleep, those memories escaped their prison and crept into her dreams. First, she dreamt that she was on a picnic. She was there with her mother and father and Jenny. She and Jenny were only young children of some indiscriminate age and they were dressed in clothes from a previous century. Her mother had long flowing hair, pinned up in the back and hidden under a large flowered hat of roses. Her father, young and handsome, was twirling her around in his arms until she felt dizzy. Then, all of a sudden, a loud thunderstorm came 95

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crashing down upon them and they went running to a distant cave for shelter. There, they sat huddled together around a fire, keeping warm in each other’s arms. When she woke in the morning, she couldn’t remember any of her dreams, but was surrounded in a glow of fond memories that left her feeling warm and safe. As was her usual custom, she was first into the office. As she unlocked the door with the key entrusted to her several years before, she luxuriated in the knowledge that this was her office; she was in charge of it’s efficiency ( or lack thereof) and she took it very seriously. She felt that in some small part, the future of Wallace& Wallace was in her hands. Peter was next in and greeted her warmly. He was obviously pleased at her acceptance of her promotion. Peter Wallace was a gentle, but shrewd businessman who had worked diligently with his brother to build a solid and potentially formidable business. She knew that his proficiency in business, however, was unmatched in his personal life. There he faltered and though a wife and children would have completed his life, he was still left single and wanting. It was too bad, Allison thought. He would make a very good family man. Perhaps, there would be someone in his future. One never knows what God has in store. Gretchen was in next, with a package of crackers and cup of ice in tow. She looked significantly better that the day before, but still fragile, at best. She smiled at Allison and thanked her again for yesterday’s kindness. Allison felt her heart go out for this young woman who was embarking on a new course that would alter her life forever. Once a mother, always a mother, she thought. And what an awesome responsibility! And not one 96

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she was likely to undertake anytime soon, if ever. Next, David came barreling through the door. His presence was always noticed, unlike that of his quiet brother. He greeted both the women and signaled Allison to join him in his office. They would continue going through the files, one by one, until Allison had a handle on the entire operation. They would spend every day together for the next two weeks while Peter handled their clients. David convinced Peter, before Allison accepted the job, to let him handle her training. Peter was completely unaware of his brother’s ulterior motives.

By the end of September, the air was cool and brisk and the leaves were beginning to turn brilliant crimson and amber. The sun was starting to set lower in the horizon and change was in the air. Allison was well-established in her new position at Wallace & Wallace. The office hummed with the precision of a fine Swiss timepiece and both brothers were very pleased; both for different reasons. Peter Wallace relied on Allison to arrange and organize all the business meetings. She was particularly adept at smoothing the ruffled feathers of clients who were disturbed by some glitch in their business dealings. The Wallaces were known in the business world as honest men, but they had unscrupulous peers who would undermine them, if they could. That was where Allison became invaluable; she could detect a scheme at first scent and alert them before disaster could strike. David worked closely with Allison in teaching her every aspect of the office. Her natural affinity to detail made the job a simple, yet time-consuming one. They had many 97

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dinner meetings and had a regular table at O’Toole’s. Paddy O’Toole knew that David Wallace was smitten with the pretty Allison McFarland; he could tell by the way he looked at her when she wasn’t looking. It was the same way he looked at his very own Sheila, some 35 years ago, back in Dublin. It was true; David Wallace was in over his head. He felt that she had been in her new position long enough for him to make his move. Tonight was to be the night. On the excuse that he needed to discuss something with her, he made reservations at Michaels, an elegant and romantic restaurant that was suitable to the occasion. To her surprise, he asked her to dress in dinner wear, so she brought a burgundy velvet dress from home and hung it in the office closet. “Isn’t Peter coming with us?” she asked, surprised when he said goodnight and left shortly after Gretchen did. “No, it will just be us,” he said, trying to disguise his nervousness. Normally, he was confident and secure, but Allison had him shaken. “Oh. Well, I’d better go get dressed,” she said unsuspectingly. She took her dress from the closet and retreated to the ladies room. David was already wearing an expensive, dark business suit that fit the occasion. David sucked in his breath when she re-entered the office. She was lovely. The burgundy velvet brought out the deep auburn in her hair and her dark chestnut eyes sparkled with excitement. It wasn’t often that she had the opportunity to dress for dinner, not that she didn’t have the chance. There were several potential suitors that Carol had introduced her to, but she didn’t have the time or interest. So here she was, going to an 98

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elegant restaurant for a business dinner with her very charming boss. Oh well…better than nothing, she thought. Michaels was exquisite. The crystal chandeliers sparkled with what seemed like a thousand twinkling shafts of light. There was a proper Maitre D’ and tuxedoed waiters. There was a red rose in a crystal bud vase on each white-linen table. The glow of candlelight filled the room and the soft music of Beethoven wafted through the air. Allison felt like a princess in a magic castle. Marcello, their waiter, pulled the chair out for her and then placed the starched white napkin on her lap. Bottled spring water was poured in their crystal goblets. They were given handwritten menus, hand-written in gold pen, hand-written in French…with no prices. “Shall I interpret for you?” David asked in a way that did not make her feel stupid. He ran down the list of fancy gourmet items and she chose a chicken dish with a name she couldn’t pronounce. David ordered for them both and ordered a pot of Allison’s favorite tea. Something in her was touched that he remembered. He was very thoughtful, increasingly so since she returned from Maplewood, she noted. After they finished their first course, a delicious creamed mushroom soup, she was prepared to get down to their business discussion. “Allison, there’s a matter of great importance to discuss,” he said gravely. “The Patterson account?” she asked, knowing the client was one of their more difficult ones. “No…actually…this has nothing to do business,” he finally admitted. “I don’t understand. I thought…” she was saying. 99

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“Yes, yes, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to say. I…I wanted to bring you here to tell you… to tell you… how I feel about you,” he said quietly. Allison was speechless. She and David had worked side by side for months and she had no idea that he felt anything more than a boss for his employee. Maybe she misunderstood what he meant. She looked at him and as she did, he reached across the table and gently laid his hand on top of hers. “Allison, I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I know this is sudden for you, but I’ve felt this way for so long…” As he looked at the expression on her face, he knew that this was coming as a complete surprise and he felt panic grip his heart. “Please, Allison… I don’t want you to say anything now. I just want you to consider what I’ve said and think about whether or not you could have feelings for me.” He stopped to take a breath and then continued while Alison sat silently across from him. “ I don’t want you to think that your job is in anyway connected to our relationship because it is not now, nor would it ever be. No matter what your decision, your job is completely separate. I made sure that you were completely independent in your position before I went to Peter about this,” he said, as he rattled on. “Peter knows about this?” she asked, incredulously. “Yes, but only since yesterday. I didn’t want anything to influence your position with the company, so I kept it to myself. I knew that it was time, so I told him last night,” David admitted. “What did he say?” Allison asked, still in shock at David’s revelation. “He told me I’d better not do anything to hurt you…or he’d kill me,” he laughed nervously. 100

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His laugh lightened the serious mood and for that she was grateful. This was too much to take in. She had been expecting to discuss business and here she was sitting across from a man professing his love for her. She was unprepared and totally unaware of her own feelings. David Wallace was handsome, charming, and sophisticated. He was unlike anyone she had ever dated, not that there were very many before him. She had been so wrapped up in her career that her emotions were walled off in their own compartment. Now, he was asking her to break down the wall and open herself up to his love. She was grateful that he said for her to take time to think about it because she had no idea what to say or even how she felt. They talked small talk and about minor office matters the rest of the evening. Allison scarcely remembered the rest of the meal, which was too bad, since it was very elaborate; a meal fit for a king. In the back of her mind floated his declaration of love and it unnerved her to the bone. David escorted her by cab back to her apartment. He took her to her front door and waited until she let herself in. He was a gentleman and did nothing more than kiss her hand before he said goodnight. Allison closed the door behind her and sighed a sigh of relief. It was a strange, stressful, wonderful evening. He said he loved her. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine a romance with David Wallace. Now that it was a possibility, she didn’t know what to think or how to feel. She looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. Too late to call anyone. Jenny would be asleep. Carol wouldn’t mind being woken up, but Allison needed quiet time to think and once she told Carol, they’d be up all night talking. After she slipped out of her dress and into her pajamas, she crawled into bed. Allison 101

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sighed, as the comfort of the cool sheets relaxed her body. She was so tired and yet her mind couldn’t seem to settle down. It raced from thought to thought. What would it be like to be in love…in love with David? She tried to imagine a romance… dinners, theater, the opera, walking hand in hand in the park on Saturday afternoons, a romantic marriage proposal, walking down the aisle in a beautiful white satin dress…and finally she drifted off to sleep. The next morning was Saturday and she originally thought about going to the office to catch up on some work, but she was still very shaken by David’s confession. She decided to do something very unusual and take the weekend off. Even if she didn’t go into the office on Saturdays or Sundays, she would bring work home, so it felt very abnormal to be sitting at her kitchen table drinking a cup of tea with no plans for the day. Allison’s practical nature was not given to daydreaming, but she found her mind wandering off into new, unfound territory. Could she possibly consider David’s declaration seriously? Well, she certainly couldn’t take it lightly. And now today, in the light of day, she had to give thought to what she felt about it. Of course, she was flattered. David Wallace was pursued by many sophisticated women in his social circle and he could have had his pick of any of them. So why her? she thought. Perhaps it was their common bond. They worked well together and side-by-side were able to accomplish a great deal; that had become apparent since she returned from Maplewood. Maplewood. Suddenly, she had a pang of homesickness. This would have been something she would have discussed with her mother. No matter what the time of night, 102

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she would have called her mother to tell her what happened and shared her confusion. Mary McFarland would have helped her daughter sort things out. She was sensible, but sensitive and she was able to get to the heart of Allison’s emotions, even when Allison couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Yes, she missed her mother. As tears formed and she started to cry, the phone rang. “Allison? It’s me,” Jenny said from the other end of the receiver. “Oh, Jenny,” Allison sobbed. “What’s wrong?” Jenny asked with alarm. It wasn’t often she heard her sister cry and it startled her that she was obviously crying before Jenny called. “I think I’m…I’m going to come…come home today,” Allison managed to get out. “Of course, but what’s wrong?” Jenny asked again, even more alarmed. Allison had distanced herself from Maplewood since their mother’s death and something must be terribly wrong for her to rush home on a whim. Allison McFarland never did anything on a whim. “Nothing, really, I…I just want to see you,” she said. It was a long drive and she wanted to start out right away. She felt an urgency to be in her the protective environment of her sister’s love and protection. Jenny had her mother’s gentle nurturing spirit and Allison was longing for that safety and security. “I don’t have any plans for the day and John is taking the twins to a birthday party this afternoon, so we can have time alone,” Jenny said, sensing Allison’s need to talk. “Okay, I’ll be there around noon,” Allison said, as she tried to pull herself together. “Great… Drive careful,” Jenny added. She wasn’t accustomed to outbursts from her sister and was a little concerned about the long drive from the city. 103

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“I’m okay. Really,” Allison said in a much steadier voice. Just hearing Jenny’s loving voice on the other end of the wire had calmed her. When she hung up, she went to her closet and packed a small suitcase. She would be staying over and not returning until Sunday night. It would be cooler at night in Maplewood, so she packed a heavy sweater. As she started to close her apartment door, she heard the phone ring. She was tempted to go back in, but she was afraid it was David and she needed time to think before she could talk to him again. She closed the door behind her and rang for the elevator.

David heard the phone ring 5 times before the answering machine picked up. “Hi, this is Allison. I’m away from the phone at the moment. Please leave your name, number and a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” her voice said before the beep. He hesitated before he spoke. Perhaps he shouldn’t have called. He said he would give her time to think. Here it was the next morning and he was already calling. But really, he just wanted to make sure she was alright. He wanted to make sure he hadn’t scared her off. He wanted to make sure she didn’t quit her job and he’d never see her again. His mind was racing. “Allison, it’s David. I just wanted to thank you for the lovely evening and make sure I didn’t frighten you last night. I meant what I said, take your time to think. I’ll see you at work. Please feel free to call me if you want, before Monday,” he said as he hung up the phone. That was suave, David, old boy, he said out loud as he shook his head. I’ll probably never see her again.

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Allison pulled into Jenny’s driveway just before 12:30. Traffic was heavy, but moved along steadily. Honestly, she didn’t remember much of the drive. She was distracted with thoughts of the future and thoughts of the past. Everything was a jumble in her head. Jenny met her at the door and Allison fell, crying, into her arms. “Allison, Allison,” she said as she stroked her hair. “What’s wrong?” she asked gently. “I’m so…sorry. It’s just that…it’s…” she stuttered, unable to stop crying. Jenny led her to the kitchen where she put the kettle on. Allison went to the bathroom and Jenny heard the water running for a long time. She knew her sister was trying to compose herself. When she came out, her eyes were puffy and red, but she had stopped crying. “Thanks,” she said shakily, as Jenny placed a mug of tea in front of her. She took a small sip of the hot liquid that burned as it went down. It helped clear her head. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jenny asked. Allison looked down into the amber tea. She wasn’t sure where to start. She didn’t realize how the night before had affected her until the morning and now she felt like a complete wreck. “David Wallace took me to dinner last night,” she started, hesitantly. Jenny just sat and listened. She knew that Allison’s whole life was wrapped up in her job and if anything was to threaten that, she would, most certainly, fall apart. “He told me…he said he… loves me,” she said in almost a whisper. Jenny sat very still. She wasn’t sure how to react. Allison was a strong and confident career woman, but in matters of the heart, she was inexperienced and innocent. Jenny continued to just sit and listen. 105

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“He said he has loved me for a long time. He told me he doesn’t expect any answer yet. He wants me to think about it. He knows this is a complete surprise to me.” “You had no idea at all?” Jenny asked. She realized her sister’s determined focus would have blocked out any signals he might have sent out. “No…none,” she admitted. “How could I not have known, Jenny?” she asked. “Well, maybe he was just very good at hiding his feelings. How do you feel?” she asked. “I have no idea! I’m so completely floored by this. He’s a wonderful man, but he’s my boss. I never thought of him any other way.” “You never think of anyone in any other way,” Jenny responded. Allison didn’t answer. She sat and thought about what Jenny said. She was right. She never really thought about love. The wall around her heart had grown over the years, starting with the death of her father. She didn’t want to be hurt. It was her protection. And the wounds from losing her mother and all that went with it, were still fresh in her mind. “You’re right,” she agreed. “I’ve never let anyone in. Not seriously.” “Do you think you could care for him?” Jenny questioned. Allison sat and thought about it. As she tried to separate the man from his position as her boss, she could see him as considerate and appealing. She started to envision them dating seriously and how that would play itself out, in the office. They would have to maintain a professional relationship that would be totally separate from their personal one. What if it didn’t work out? What would happen to her career? Could she risk it? Did she want to? 106

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“Maybe,” she said tentatively. “Allison, I’ve never met David Wallace, but from everything you’ve ever said about him, he sounds like a very nice, decent man. Maybe you should loosen your heart and think about something besides work. You have a great career and you deserve to be happy. Maybe this is your chance.” Jenny said. “I’m afraid,” Allison admitted. “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What if it does?” Jenny retorted. “What if I get hurt?” Allison responded. “What if you do? You can’t live your whole life trying to avoid getting hurt. It’s part of life and somewhere out there, God has a life planned for you. Isn’t it time to look for it?” Jenny said, sincerely. She could see the fear in Allison’s face. Jenny reached over and took her hand. “I’ll be here for you,” she said softly. Allison looked at the love in her sister’s eyes and knew that she would be. Perhaps it was time to come out of her shell. As fulfilling as her life was, there wasn’t much of it. Well, if God wanted her to have something else, then she’d give Him the chance to show her.

Allison checked her messages when she arrived home Sunday evening and listened to David’s unsteady voice on the tape. She found an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of her stomach, churning as he spoke. Could this be love? she thought. Could it happen this suddenly? Then she thought, maybe it isn’t that sudden. Perhaps she had feelings growing all along and had hidden them deep inside, knowing they couldn’t go anywhere. Perhaps…perhaps. Impulsively, she picked up the phone and dialed. 107

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“David?” she said, as she felt a cold chill travel down her neck. “Allison,” he replied eagerly. “Yes. I was away all weekend…at my sister’s. I just got home and heard your message. Thank you again for the wonderful dinner,” she responded. What was she going to say next? she thought. “You’re very welcome. I am sorry I took you off guard, though. It was clumsy.” “No it wasn’t. It was just so unexpected,” she said. “I went away so I could do some thinking.” “And did you?” he asked hesitantly, half-afraid of the answer. “Yes. And if you would like us to pursue a relationship, then I think my answer is… yes,” she said surprising them both. “Really? Allison, you’ve made me so happy. I thought I had destroyed any chance of that Friday night,” he said elatedly. She had to laugh. He sounded like a little boy on Christmas morning. Her laughter relaxed the tension. “Have you had dinner?” he asked. “No, I had a late lunch after church at my sister’s.” “Could I take you out. Nothing fancy, I promise,” he laughed. “Okay, I could go for a burger with a name I could pronounce,” she laughed back. And so, it began. A relationship that started as friends, was now changing shape and Allison found it easier than she thought. Once the chink in the armor was breached, she found his company and companionship welcomed. Their romance started slowly and shyly for them both, each wary of the other’s feelings. They continued on with business as usual, but after work, he could be seen at O’Toole’s reaching across to hold her hand 108

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over coffee. Paddy O’Toole would just smile as he watched. He was glad that the young man had braved the abyss and risked the rejection. It was a fine lad indeed that went after his fair maiden’s heart. Carol Denby was in shock. She couldn’t have ever imagined Allison agreeing to dating, much less having a relationship with David Wallace. Allison was breaching her business etiquette by seeing the boss and Carol didn’t think she had it in her. She was totally thrilled for her, but that didn’t stop her from torturing her just a little. “So, aren’t you the clever little one. I’ll bet you had your eye on him all the time,” she teased. Allison’s face would turn crimson and Carol would burst out laughing. Before long they’d both be laughing so hard, they could barely talk. Peter Wallace was very pleased for, if not a little jealous of, David and Allison. When David initially told him of his intentions, he was, first afraid that they would lose Allison; then he wasn’t sure he wanted romance around the office. But when all was said and done, they both seemed happy and it only enhanced Allison and David’s productivity. They were both so self-conscious of business etiquette that went out of their way to act appropriately. If you didn’t know they were an item, their office behavior wouldn’t reveal them. Two weeks before Thanksgiving, David asked Allison if she had made plans. “I was planning to go to my sister’s for the long weekend,” she replied. “…would you like to come?” she asked, hesitantly. Though they had officially only been dating for a little less than two months, they had a relationship for several years prior to that. David’s 109

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intentions became clearer as the weeks went by and she suspected he would consider their relationship serious. “I’d love to, but Peter and I always go to our father’s for the holidays. I was going to ask you to come,” he explained. Their mother died ten years earlier and their father lived alone in a country house outside the city. He had retired from his law practice after his wife died and spent most of his time alone, and lonely, in the country. Allison knew he wouldn’t want to disappoint his father. “Thank you for asking, but I think I should go home. It’s the first Thanksgiving since my mom’s passing,” she said. “Of course. I wasn’t thinking,” he said. “Maybe we’ll be able to arrange something at Christmas. I would like to meet your family.” “Yes, Jenny wants to meet you, too.” “Can we plan a nice dinner before you leave?” he asked. “Sure, that would be nice. A pre-Thanksgiving dinner. Would you like me to cook?” she asked. “I didn’t know you could,” he said seriously. David assumed that her talents and interests lay in her dedication to work. It never occurred to him that she might be the domesticated type. “Actually, I can’t. Not much anyway. But I live right around the corner from Levine’s Deli and they make a mean take-out meal,” she laughed. She knew that she was capable of doing anything she set her mind to, she just never had the interest to learn to cook. After all, it had always been just her, so what was the point. Now she realized, she might 110

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have to expand her repertoire of skills. “Well, tempting as that sounds, I think maybe we should go out. I was thinking of going back to Michaels, the original scene of the crime. I thought maybe I could do it better, this time,” he said. Allison smiled as she thought of that first night. It was awkward and uneasy, but here he was months later, her boyfriend. The term had an unfamiliar ring, but she was getting used to it. “Okay. It’s a deal.” The next several weeks were busy at the office. Gretchen was still working for them and her progressing pregnancy was becoming more and more evident. She planned to work past the holiday season so she could earn enough money for the baby’s basics. Allison had hired a permanent assistant who was working out fairly well. Her name was Leah Warner and she had many years of experience in their field. She was in her early 40’s, married with two teenage children and very conscientious. Allison had a brief vision of herself at that age with perhaps a similar situation. “Allison, I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight, okay?” David said, as she headed home for the day. Thanksgiving was two days away and as he had promised, David reserved a quiet, romantic table in a corner of the chic Michaels for their own private Thanksgiving celebration. “Okay, see you then,” she said, as she left the office. First she picked out her dress for the evening and took a quick shower. After she dried off and slipped on the long, black dress, Allison pinned up her hair and dusted some blush on her cheeks. She looked graceful and elegant and she felt pretty. 111

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David was prompt, ringing her bell exactly at 7. When she opened the door, he stood before her in a tailored black tuxedo. He’s so handsome, she thought to herself. Her heart was stirred and she knew that she was falling in love with him. “Wow, you look gorgeous!” he said, as he took her hands in his and kissed her gently on the cheek. The color and heat rose in her face. It was still hard getting used to his loving attention. “So do you,” she replied, honestly. “We’d better go,” he said, as he slipped on her coat. The evening started out magical. Outside her apartment building was a black limousine that David had hired. The chauffeur was standing, ready to open the door for her. The only other limo she had ever been in was the one for her mother’s funeral. As she slipped onto the buttery soft leather seat, David slid in next to her. Then he reached across and picked up a long white box with a red satin ribbon that he laid in her lap. This was indeed very different from their first date. She slipped off the ribbon and opened the box revealing layers of white tissue paper. Beneath the paper lay a dozen long stem pink roses. “David, they’re beautiful,” she whispered. “I know red is traditional, but I know pink is your favorite,” he said as he kissed her gently. Allison’s heart fluttered. He was so kind and considerate and if he was trying to sweep her off her feet, he was doing a wonderful job. When they arrived at Michaels, the chauffeur again opened her door and she felt like a princess in a fairytale. She half expected to wake up at any moment from a lovely dream. 112

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They were ushered to a secluded table where there was a small vase of pink roses awaiting, specially pre-arranged. “David, this is wonderful. I think you fulfilled your promise. This is definitely better than the last time.” “I should hope so. I was so nervous I could barely talk,” he admitted. “And you’re not nervous anymore.” she stated. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” he said. “Why?” she asked. “Because, well…because I don’t know what you will say,” he answered. “Say?” she said, puzzled. “Allison…Allison, will you marry me?” he asked, as he pulled a black velvet box from his jacket and opened it, revealing a dazzling diamond engagement ring. She gasped. “David!” she exclaimed almost inaudibly. He slipped the exquisite ring from the box and took her hand. “Will you?” he asked again, waiting to slip the ring on her finger. Allison’s head was reeling. She was completely taken by surprise. As it turned out, this night had more similarities to the first than she originally thought. David had proposed… marriage. She couldn’t calm her mind, or her heart. She was speechless. It was making David very nervous. “Allison? Are you alright? I’m sorry. I had hoped…Allison,” he was ranting. The ring lay in his damp hand. “David. I…I just didn’t expect anything like this tonight. Not so soon,” she admitted. 113

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She looked at him and her heart melted. He looked like a little boy who just lost his dog. He looked crushed. “David,” she said, as she took his hand. “I’m not saying no. I just need a little time to think. This is a very big step.” His face brightened a little. “Allison, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said softly. She didn’t know how to respond. She believed that she was falling in love with him; the feelings were very new to her. Was it the love that marriage was based on? Was it a fairytale love? Was it real? “David, this is the first time I’ve ever been in love. I want to make sure. Can I have time to think it over?” she asked. His heart leaped. She said she was in love. There was hope. He just took her off guard, that’s all. He had a chance after all. “Of course! Take all the time you need,” he said eagerly, as he slipped the ring back in the box and placed it in her hand. “I want you to keep this. When you decide you can return the box, either empty or full. I will respect whatever decision you make.” “Thank you, David,“ she said, as she gingerly took the velvet box and placed it in her bag. She suspected it would not be long before she accepted his proposal. Perhaps, she should just say yes, right here and now. No, she wanted to make very sure that he was the man she would spend the rest of her life with, the man whose children she would have. Her thoughts drifted back to her parents and the wonderful love and life they had together. That was what she wanted and she believed that she might have it with David 114

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Wallace.

Two days later she was on her way to Maplewood for Thanksgiving. In her purse was a small ring box. She knew it was a very valuable ring and didn’t want to risk leaving it in her apartment. That’s what she told herself, anyway. But she had taken it out of the box each day to look at it and imagine it finding a permanent home on her finger. When she told Carol about it, she was bombarded with the reaction she expected. “Are you crazy?” Carol screeched. “Why didn’t you say yes? You know you love him. And he’s rich! You’d never have to work again!” she rattled on. Carol was right on all counts. Yes, he was rich. No, she wouldn’t have to work, but what Carol never understood was that she loved to work. It had been her life. And now, her life might find meaning with another person. And yes, she believed she did love him. Allison couldn’t wait to get to Maplewood for Thanksgiving to talk to her sister.

CHAPTER 7 -- THANKSGIVING

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Allison didn’t sleep very soundly, as thoughts of David and his proposal slipped in and out of her consciousness all night. She woke early Wednesday morning and headed out for her sister’s after she showered and ate a light breakfast. She was anxious and yet nervous to share her news. Over the past months, she hadn’t shared very much with Jenny other than to say that David and she were dating. And truth be told, she thought that’s really what it was…dating. But now, it was more…whether she was ready or not, David had upped the ante and thrown a proposal in the ring. She found herself daydreaming the entire trip and before she knew it she was there. As she pulled in the driveway, the twins jumped from the pile of leaves they were tossing at each other and ran to her. “Auntie Allison!” they yelled, as they pulled at her, both wanting to be the first to be picked up into her arms. “Hey you guys! You’re going to knock me over,” she laughed, as she picked one up and then the other and carried them both into the house giggling. “Look what I found! Where’s the trash heap?” Allison said, as she set the wriggling twins down. “No, no!!” they both said at the same time and ran laughing back out the kitchen door to their pile of leaves to hide. “Well, nothing much changed here, I see,” Allison laughed. “Nope. It’s like that from morning until night.,” Jenny laughed back. “Coffee or tea?” she asked her sister. “I could go for a strong cup of coffee,” Allison said, as she sat down at the kitchen 116

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table. “Rough night?” Jenny asked lightly. “You might say that,” Allison confided. “I was only kidding. What’s up?” “ We can talk about it over the weekend. You’ve got a lot of work to do today, what with Thanksgiving tomorrow. What can I do to help?” “Oh no you don’t! There’s something going on and we’re not plucking one single turkey feather until you ’fess up,” Jenny said. “Since when do you pluck feathers?” Allison laughed. “ You know there’s a Butterball in the fridge just waiting for his stuffing.” “Right. All the more reason we have time to talk,” Jenny said, determinedly, as she set a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of Allison. Allison picked up the cup and sipped tentatively. She was trying to find the right words. Finally, she reached into her handbag and pulled out the black velvet box. She pushed it across the table to her sister. “What’s this?” Jenny asked, eagerly. “Open it,” Allison said in almost a whisper. As Jenny picked up the box and lifted the lid, she gasped. “Allison!!” was all she could say for the moment. She lifted the ring out of its elegant nest and held it up so the light could shimmer through the beautiful diamond. It was obviously a very expensive ring. “Oh, Allison,” Jenny cried. “I’m so happy for you!” “I haven’t given him an answer yet,” Allison admitted. 117

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“What?” Jenny exclaimed. “I was completely surprised…I…I had no idea,” she stammered. “You mean to tell me that he never said anything, not even a clue?” “Well, I know he said he loved me and we’ve been seeing each other every day. But marriage! No, either I’m totally blind or he just kept his thoughts well-hidden.” “Well, knowing you, I’d say that you are totally blind,” Jenny laughed. Jenny wasn’t far from wrong. Allison was so determined in her career path that she had tunnel vision. David had tried on many occasions to broach the subject of home and family, but Allison skimmed over it without thought. As adept as she was with the business world, she was equally as clumsy with her love life. She enjoyed their time together and she had to admit she felt a warmth creep over her when he held her hand or kissed her goodnight, but marriage… “Oh, Jenny,” she said, as she laid her head on the table, “what am I going to do?” “What do you want to do?” she asked, as she rested her hand on top of Allison’s head and stroked her hair. “I…I don’t know,” she said, as she looked up. Jenny could see her eyes were glistening with tears. “I wish Mom were here,” Allison said, softly. “I know. Me, too,” Jenny said. Allison wiped the tears from her eyes and took a sip from the now cold coffee. “Do you love him?” Jenny asked. Allison sat for a moment and let thoughts run through her head. She loved his lighthearted and playful personality; she loved his kind and gentle temperament; she 118

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loved his strong and compelling nature; she loved his handsome, dark looks…But, did she love him? What was love? And how did you know for sure? “How did you know you loved John?” Allison finally asked. “He took my hand and my heart felt…funny,” Jenny smiled. “That’s it? That’s how you knew?” “Well…yes. I knew he was a kind man with a decent character, but it was when he touched my hand that I just knew he was right for me.” “And he’s the only one whose hand you ever held that stirred something in you?” Allison asked. She was confused. Surely her sister wasn’t given to making lifelong decisions based on, well…what might be confused with merely…well…desire! “No, Allison. I’m not talking about purely the physical attraction. There was something that went far deeper than that. It was beyond words and impossible to explain to you. It was a connection of our hearts and we both knew it.” “Is that the way it is for everyone?” Allison asked, dumbfounded. Certainly, it’s not what she felt for David. She loved being with him, working with him, talking to him, and there was a certain physical stirring that frightened her, but she wasn’t sure there was more to it than that. Did there have to be? Could her love for David be enough the way it was? They could work wonderfully together and create a life based on the same dreams and goals. She was more confused than ever. Just at that moment, the twins came bursting in, covered with crushed leaves and faces red with the cold. “Just look at you!” Jenny said, as she helped them off with their jackets and hats. “How ’bout some hot chocolate?” 119

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“”Mmm,” they said, in unison. They sat down at the table, one on each side of their Auntie Allison, as Jenny went to the cupboard for the hot chocolate. Allison had a reprieve from thinking about David, as she chatted with the twins. It was a welcome reprieve. Her brain was overloaded and befuddled. There’d be plenty of time to think over the weekend.

That night after Jenny and Allison spent hours in the kitchen preparing for the next day, Jenny climbed into bed next to her husband and gave him a tender kiss. “Thank you,” she said to him. “For what?” John asked. “For loving me the way you do,” she said. “It’s not hard to do, you know,” he said, sincerely. “What’s this all about?” he asked, puzzled. “Allison’s boss proposed to her,” she said. “Really? I didn’t realize it was that serious.” “Neither did she. This is the first real boyfriend she’s had. I think I’m afraid for her.” “Why afraid?” “She’s never really gotten close to anyone that way. She’s so afraid of getting hurt that she’s stayed closed off to love. Now that she is opening up, I’m afraid she won’t know real love and maybe choose the wrong person,” Jenny admitted. “And you think this David Wallace is the wrong person?” “I don’t know. We’ve never even met him and Allison said she isn’t sure what love is. I know God has a plan for Allison; I just don’t know if David is part of it.” 120

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“Well, until God asks for you input, I think you should stay out of it,” he laughed gently and Jenny realized he was right. Whatever happened was really none of her business. She would pray for Allison to listen to her heart and let God guide her, even though she knew her sister didn’t rely on God for much of anything after the death of their parents. At least she had seemed to let go of her anger about Angel House and her mother’s secret; or if not let go, she didn’t mention it, at all. “You’re a very wise man,” Jenny said, as she kissed John goodnight and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Allison was not as fortunate. She tossed and turned almost all night, as she wrestled with what Jenny had said. How could she possibly make a decision about the rest of her life, knowing she could choose the wrong man in marrying David or she might let the right man go, if she refused him. Just after 7, the twins popped open her door and tumbled into bed with her. Allison could smell the aroma of roasting turkey wafting in from the kitchen. “C’mon, you little rugrats, I think Mommy’s doing all the work in there and we need to help,” Allison laughed, as she shook them out of the bed and scurrying into the kitchen. She slipped into her warm, pink flannel robe, the one her mother gave her several years ago. As she pulled it closed and fingered the soft sleeve, she remembered back to last Thanksgiving. They gathered at her mother’s for their traditional dinner; her mother made all her favorites and even though she had been ill with the cancer, things were still hopeful. None of them knew it was to be her last Thanksgiving with them. And none of them knew except for Mary, where she slipped out to after dinner with a special 121

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pie she made. She said it was for a friend who was alone on the holiday, but now Allison suspected it was to a visit to a place called Angel House, a secret place filled with strangers that knew her mother in a way that she didn’t. “No!” she said outloud, as she shook the thoughts out of her head. The twins looked up at her thinking she was talking to them. “No?” one of them asked. “Oh, I wasn’t talking to you, sweetie,” she said, as she shook off the melancholy feeling and led them into where their mother was. Jenny was bent over the open oven door basting the large bird whose only fate was to end up on their dinner table. “Why didn’t you wake me to help?” Jenny asked, as she poured herself of coffee. “”I figured you needed the sleep. I was up early to put the bird in, but we pretty much did everything else last night. How did you sleep?” Jenny asked. Allison just shrugged her shoulders. Jenny slept like a rock. It was one of the talents she had developed since the twins were born. Even the slightest stir from their room would have Jenny at their bed in an instant, but if they slept soundly and didn’t need her motherly attention, she would drift off into 7 hours of a comatose-like slumber. She felt it was a gift God had given to her because He knew she would need every ounce of strength during the day when the twins were awake. Jenny still marveled at the miracle of her children. When she looked in their tiny angelic faces, she could see the face of God. Nothing but God could create something so precious. There was the most indescribable joy just from looking at them and Jenny 122

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loved them beyond words. Her love for John was the strong union of souls bonded together and together they created two beautiful creatures of God. How could she convey that depth of love to Allison. Did everyone feel that way about love and marriage and children? She suspected not. She knew there were husbands and wives who took their vows very lightly and let their marriages become a battleground or a wasteland. And it was always the children who were the casualties. And it was those casualties whom their mother, Mary had sought to give refuge to. Jenny was touched beyond expression with the creation of Angel House. After the initial shock of its existence, Jenny did some investigating into what it was and the women and children it housed in its safe harbor. She was so very proud of her mother’s calling to help those who so desperately needed help. She couldn’t tell Allison that she had visited Angel House on several occasions and met Maggie and Wendy. Allison was still very hurt by what she considered her mother’s betrayal of her trust. She wasn’t ready to know anymore about Angel House or anything of her mother’s mission.

“Mommy, Mommy, I hungry,” little Ella said, as she climbed up onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Me, too!” Bobby said. “Okay,” Jenny said, as she poured Cheerios into two small plastic bowls. “You, too?” she looked over at Allison and pointed to the cereal box. “No, thanks. Maybe a little later,” Allison answered. Her appetite had waned since David’s proposal. At this rate, should she accept him, she would be shopping for a wedding dress several sizes smaller than her already trim figure required. Maybe 123

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breakfast wasn’t a bad idea, after all.

Dinner was over in a flash. “Seems such a shame,” John said. “You do all that preparation and work ,we gobble it down in no time, and it’s over. All that’s left is the clean-up.” “Gobble gobble,” Bobby laughed. “That’s what turkeys say!” “They sure do,” John said to his little son. “But not this one anymore,” he whispered to his wife, as he carried the partially eaten carcass into the kitchen. “John!” she laughed back at him, lovingly. Allison watched the family exchange with longing. She found herself uncharacteristically envious of her sister and her family. Perhaps David’s proposal had unleashed a hidden yearning for the same. Perhaps she was ready for that type of love and comittment in her life. Perhaps… A distant ringing roused her from her thoughts, as she heard John’s voice. “Allison, it’s for you,” he said, as he handed her the reciever. “A gentleman caller,” he whispered to her. She blushed, as she took the phone from him. “Hello?” she said. “Happy Thanksgiving,” David said. “Happy Thanksgiving to you and Peter, too,” she said. She could feel her face stinging with heat and her heart thumping in her chest. Love? she questioned. “I miss you,” he confessed. “I do, too,” she had to admit. 124

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“When are you due back?” “I’ll leave here after church on Sunday. I should be back around 4, depending on traffic,” she answered. “Dinner?” he asked, hopefully. He didn’t want to pressure her. He knew she teetered on the edge of a very important decision and he wanted to be close enough to catch her should she fall in his direction, yet far enough away so as not to push her in the other direction. “I’ll call you when I get home, okay?” she said. She didn’t want to commit to seeing him when she got home. She wasn’t ready to commt to anything, just yet.

Friday morning was crisp and cool, so Allison pulled on a heavy wool sweater when she dressed. She had decided to drive over to Grace Christian Church to pay Pastor Henry a visit. She still felt guilty at how she left Maplewood, how she left him that day. She was so hurt and confused. Having some distance from it now, the sting of it had lessened and she needed to make amends. Jack Henry was sitting at his desk reading Scripture when she Allison came in. He looked up, smiled, and rose to greet her. “Allison!” he said, as her gave her a fatherly hug. “Hello, Pastor,” she said back. “Sit down,” he said, as he pulled out a chair for her to sit in. “Thank you. How’s Patty working out?” she asked, as she looked over at the empty desk. “Fine, fine. I gave her the day off to spend with her family.” 125

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“Pastor…I…I wanted to come and apologize for the last time I was here,” she said, as she stared down at her hands. “Oh, Allison. There’s no need. I completely understand the turmoil you must have been feeling. I know it was all a shock and you were already dealing with your mother’s death at the same time. Please, don’t think anymore about it,” he said, sincerely. “Thank you. You’re very kind. I must have seemed like a spoiled brat. Actually, I was acting like a spoiled brat,” she admitted. She was feeling much emotional relief now that she was able to see things in hindsight. She knew that once she confessed her feelings of regret and shame, she would be able to get on with her life. There was a realization that her anger and hurt were keeping her trapped behind a wall that kept everyone else out. It was time to knock the wall down and step into the light. “God will be able to help you with that,” Pastor said to her, after she finished pouring out her heart to him. “He will heal you if you ask Him.” Allison thought for a moment. When she was young, God had been an integral part of her life, but as an adult she had kept Him on the periphery. It had been a long time since she considered letting God back in. “Will you pray for me?” she asked, timidly. “Of course.” Jack reached across and took her hands in his. They bowed their heads. “Oh, heavenly Father, we come before you to ask your Divine forgiveness for the weaknesses in our heart that lead us to transgress. I ask for your tender mercy on Allison, that your healing hand will touch her and open her heart to your love. Let her come to know you, to trust you, to follow you, in all your wonderful ways. Amen” “Amen,” Allison said, softly, as tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed on Jack’s 126

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hands. “Thank you,” she whispered to both Pastor and God.

As Allison drove back to Jenny’s, she felt a lightness in her heart that hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was though a key had been turned and a door flung open letting in a brilliant light. I’m sorry, Mom, she said silently. She felt ambivalent sadness at losing her mother and at the same time having harbored anger at her for the secret she kept. “Forgive me, Mom,” she whispered. Suddenly, she was struck with a desire to drive to Angel House. When Jack Henry told her the story, she knew she never wanted to hear of it again, much less ever see it. But very unexpectedly, she felt a pull in her heart to drive to Angel House. Without much conscious thought, she found herself steering the car towards Grove City. Allison was just entering Grove City when she felt an icy chill grip her heart. I can’t, she said, almost audibly. I’m not ready. She pulled into the rest area and made a u-turn to head back to Maplewood. Another time, she said to herself. Another time.

“What happened to you today?” Jenny asked her sister, as cut up leftover turkey for a potpie for dinner. “I went over to visit Pastor Henry and then I went for a drive,” Allison said. “That’s not what I meant. What happened to you?” Jenny noticed it as soon as Allison came home. There was something different about her sister. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was an air of tranquility surrounding 127

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her. Jenny didn’t sense the usual restlessness. “I talked to Pastor Henry,” Allison admitted. “And?” “And I asked him to pray for me…for healing.” Jenny stopped chopping the celery and sat down next to her sister. “Allison,” she whispered. Jenny slipped her arms around her sister and said a silent prayer of her own. “Me, too…me, too,” Ellie said, as she climbed into Allison’s lap to be hugged. Allison laughed and cried, as she hugged her little niece and found herself longing for a little girl of her own. Suddenly, the yearning for a love like this was tugging at her heartstrings. She found herself thinking of David and the children they might have. But something within her called out to be careful. It was a tiny voice that stopped her cold. She shook it off and went back to hugging Ellie.

Saturday turned out to be a stormy day with ominous gray clouds billowing in the sky. Before noon, the cold rain started beating on the roof and sent the twins down into the playroom to escape the looming sounds of the storm. “They’re scared of the thunder,” Jenny explained. “I am, too,” Allison admitted. “I remember,” Jenny laughed, as she thought back to their childhood when Allison would climb into bed with her and pull the covers up over their heads. By early afternoon, the worst of the storm was over. The sun started to peak through the dark clouds, streaming sunlight through the kitchen window. Jenny went to put the 128

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kettle on for tea when she realized the stove was not working. Thinking at first that it was a tripped circuit- breaker from the brief power outage, she went to check the box. Nothing had been tripped, so she went back to the kitchen. “Well, it wasn’t the storm,” Jenny said, as she picked up the telephone book. As she thumbed through the yellow pages, she explained that she had trouble with the power to the stove once the week before, but she thought whatever it was just fixed itself. “Fixed itself?” Allison laughed. “Jenny, you’re such an optimist.” “Actually, I was too busy to give it much thought. Then I just forgot about it,” she admitted. “I’m just glad it didn’t go out on Thanksgiving.” Jenny picked up the phone and dialed. Allison heard her give a brief message to an answering machine and then hang up. “You’ll never get anybody out here on Thanksgiving weekend. And if you do, you’ll have to sell one of the twins to pay for it,” Allison said. “I know, I know, but I have to try. I have to make 6 dozen cookies for bible study on Monday morning.” Allison thought how different their lives were. Hers was filled with high-powered meetings and contracts. Jenny’s was filled with cookies. They were both surprised when the electrician called back within half an hour and was able to come that very afternoon. Allison knew that in the city you could wait weeks before anyone even called you back. It was almost four o’clock when the electrician arrived. The white van said Morrison Electric on the side, written in red block letters. Adam Morrison knocked on the kitchen door and Jenny let him in. 129

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“It happened once before today. I’m sorry to call you on a holiday weekend,” she said. “No problem, Mrs. Morgan. Doesn’t sound serious. I’ll go have a look,” he said, as Jenny showed him to the basement door. “No problem for him. It’ll probably take him 15 minutes to fix and he’ll charge you $200,” Allison said. “Cynic!” Jenny responded, but secretly agreed with her sister’s assessment. Sometimes she wished John had become a plumber or electrician instead of going into the business world; good money and he’d be able to fix things around the house. He was a very smart man, but when it came to home repairs, he was downright dangerous. She remembered the time he tried to unscrew the ceiling fan…before he turned off the electricity. Now, he was relegated to changing light bulbs in table lamps only! Safety first, she told him, lovingly. Adam found and fixed the problem in less than twenty minutes. “Just a loose wire,” he said, as he wiped his hands on a rag from his toolbox. “I tightened a few others that were loose, too.” More money, Allison thought to herself. “Thank you, so much, Mr. Morrison. How much do I owe you?” Jenny said, as she took her checkbook from her bag. “Twenty should cover it,” he said. “Twenty?” Jenny asked, astonished. “It was just a loose wire,” he explained. “But still, it’s a holiday weekend,” she retorted. “I never understood that. Why should people pay more for the same work just because 130

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their misfortune fell on a Saturday?” Jenny and Allison just stared at each other in disbelief. Jenny handed him the check, thanked him again and he was on his way. After he was gone, Allison said, “Can you believe that guy?” “What a nice man,” Jenny responded. Yes, Allison thought. He was very nice. It was rare that you met such a decent businessman; she knew because she dealt with many who were definitely not nice. Pity; he’ll probably struggle and lose his business somewhere down the road to some bigger, more ruthless company. In her heart, Allison wished him well.

Allison planned to leave for the city right after church. Originally, she was going to stay for Sunday dinner, but she suddenly found herself anxious to get back to see David. Spending the time with her sister and the twins, her talk with Pastor Henry, her prayer to God, she felt it was all leading up to her accepting David’s proposal. It was time. He loved her, and she believed she loved him, too. It was time to trust in something and someone besides herself. The twins looked adorable in their Sunday best; Bobby in a navy suit and red bowtie, Ellie in her green velvet dress with white lace at the collar and hem. Allison sat between their car seats in the back of their car. Ellie twirled Allison’s hair and Bobby played with the toy truck he brought with him. She felt surrounded and enveloped in a warm, cozy nest. In a way, she hated to leave. Somehow, it felt like she belonged right where she was. The first thing Allison noticed when she entered the church entrance was a tall, brightly lit Christmas tree. The tree abounded with white paper angels. She knew that this 131

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must be the Giving Tree that Pastor Henry asked her to help with. She felt a pang of guilt knowing that she left him and Patty in the lurch when she reneged. There were many angels, so it must have been a lot of work, work she promised to do. After taking a bulletin from the usher, they went into the sanctuary for the service. There were many flower arrangements around the alter in memory of loved ones for the holiday including one with pink carnations from her and her sister; pink carnations were her mother’s favorite. She bowed her head and said a silent prayer for her mother’s forgiveness of her selfishness. When she looked up, she saw Adam Morrison out of the corner of her eye sitting three rows ahead with a little girl about the twins age, maybe a little older. She was dressed in a plain blue cotton dress with a matching headband that held back a mass of dark curly hair. “Look,” she said to Jenny. “it’s the electrician.” “So it is. I didn’t know he came here. Maybe he’s visiting.” “It looks like he’s alone, except for the little girl. She’s a cutie,” Allison said, surprising herself with the endearment. At that moment, the music began to play and the choir began to sing. They stood and sang the hymns and listened to the opening prayers. Then Jenny took the twins back out to deliver them to the children’s church and Allison watched as Adam Morrison took the little girl out, as well. He returned alone to his seat and nodded at her, as he passed by. She nodded back and thought he really was a nice man; he took his daughter to church while his wife must be home sick in bed. Much more than most men would do on a Sunday morning, she thought. Pastor first made an announcement about the Giving Tree. He explained that the 132

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names were of disadvantaged children who needed prayer and a gift. Could the congregation please take an angel from the tree before they left that day and purchase a pair of mittens and a hat along with a small gift to be placed under the tree to be distributed at a children’s Christmas party. Pastor Henry’s service was focused on thanksgiving; thanksgiving for all the gifts God has given, for all the bounty, for all the abundance, but mostly for the gift of his Son. Allison’s heart was touched by the words and then pierced by the reality. She did have so much; and even though she had lost both her parents, she still had been blessed by having been raised by them in a loving home. There were many who were not nearly so blessed…and then she knew what it was that her mother had done with Angel House. She lowered head and tears flowed down hear face and into her lap. They were tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears of healing, tears of love. Jenny looked over and knew that there was something transforming her sister’s heart right then and there. She waited and when the service was over Allison looked at her. “I’ve made my decision,” was all Allison said.

Before they left the church, Allison went and picked an angel off the tree and placed it in her bag. The name on the angel was Rebecca Morrison.

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CHAPTER 8 -- THE NEWCOMERS

Adam Morrison helped his daughter Rebecca unbutton her dress and hang it in the closet. He noticed how carefully she handled the worn blue dress that was starting to 134

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become a little snug around the waist. Even at the tender age of four, she was conscious of the fact that she only had two dresses and they were to be cherished. Adam felt the pain of knowing that the other little girls in church this morning were wearing their finest silk and velvet dresses for the holiday and his little daughter’s dress was a hand-me-down from the Salvation Army. She was still young enough not to notice or care and for that he was grateful. Adam was still trying to recover emotionally and financially from his wife’s devastating death when Rebecca was born. He was left with staggering medical bills and a beautiful little daughter to raise. At first, he thought he was going to be forced to give Rebecca up for adoption. Neither he nor his wife, Lisa had any family to help and they were new to the area. They had no friends or support system. Adam had just started a very small electrical repair service in hopes of raising his family Maplewood. Lisa Morrison was a 2nd grade teacher who was to start a new part-time position at Maplewood Elementary after the baby was born. She was a healthy 26 year old woman who had a perfectly uneventful pregnancy. She and Adam had prepared the nursery in the small apartment on Tinker Ave. and they anxiously awaited their baby’s arrival. The doctor said it was a pulmonary embolism, rare and yet often fatal. Minutes after Rebecca was born, Lisa had trouble breathing, clutched her chest and became unconscious. Adam was rushed out of the room as the emergency personnel ran in with a cart to revive her. From outside the room, he could hear the shouting of the doctors and nurses attempting to save his wife. He stood there in shock as a nurse came from the room with his tiny little daughter in her arms. She was wrapped in a soft pink and blue striped hospital blanket and she was trying to open her eyes in the bright hallway light. 135

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“Mr. Morrison, I’m taking her to the nursery. Would you like to come with me?” the kind nurse asked. “Perhaps, it would be best.” Adam didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay right where he was so when the doctor came out of the room to tell him Lisa was going to be just fine, he would be there waiting. But he knew in his heart that that was not what was going to happen. He knew that he was losing Lisa. He felt powerless and helpless and unable to move. The nurse, holding Rebecca in one arm and taking Adam by the other, led him away to the nursery to be with his daughter. She took him through the door and had him sit in a rocking chair. Then, she gently placed the baby in his arms and left them alone. Adam stared down into the tiny wrinkled face of his daughter. They had already chosen the name Rebecca, after Lisa’s grandmother Rebecca Marie. As he looked at her, she wriggled a tiny hand from the blanket and managed to bring it to her mouth. His tears started flow, as she sucked hungrily on her fist. “Lisa,” he cried. He sat there for what seemed hours, yet were only a few minutes. The nurse came back in and gently took Rebecca from his arms and placed her in an open crib. Then she led him back to the waiting area to wait for the doctor. “Mr. Morrison,” Dr. Thayer said, softly, “please, sit down.” In a daze, Adam sat. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t something that happens very often. A tiny blood clot went to Lisa’s lung and we were able to restart her heart, but she may have been deprived of oxygen too long. She is breathing with the help of a respirator and there may be brain damage. We won’t know until we do some tests. Is there someone we can call for you?” “No. There’s no one,” Adam said in shock. That very morning he had teased Lisa 136

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about this being the last day he would have to tie her shoes for her, that soon she would be able to bend over for herself and see her feet (for the first time in many months). And now he was awaiting to find out if she was brain damaged and going to die. Lisa Morrison lingered for almost a year. The damage was great enough to keep her in a coma, but not enough to require a respirator to breath. She was fed through a tube they placed in her stomach and was transferred to a chronic care facility. There was no insurance so Adam made arrangements to pay what he could and eventually State assistance covered the rest. It took all their savings and what money he made in his struggling new business, went to pay for Rebecca’s day care. He rented a room in a rooming house where he place a small crib next to his pull-out sofa and cooked canned stew on a hotplate. Every day when he finished work, he would pick Rebecca up from the day care center and drive to the nursing home that housed his lifeless wife. He would sit at the bedside and brush her hair and tell her stories about their baby. He would put Rebecca on the bed next to her and place her hand on the baby’s chest so she could feel her breathing. Adam never gave up hope that his beloved wife would suddenly awaken and reach up to kiss him. But she never did. Eventually, after almost a year, she succumbed to an infection and died. Adam buried his wife just one day before his daughter’s first birthday. It was then he thought of putting her up for adoption. “I can’t do this,” he sobbed at the funeral. There were only a few mourners, since they had no family and few friends. “Adam, give yourself some time,” Gina Montoya said to him. Gina was the nurse who 137

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had placed Rebecca in his arms for the first time. She had become a friend and often visited Lisa in the nursing home on her day off. She loved Rebecca and would take her for walks in the park on nice days when Adam was working. His grief was too complete for him to notice that Gina Montoya was in love with him. After the funeral, Gina took him and Rebecca back to her apartment for a home cooked meal. She lived in a nice family neighborhood that would have suited the three of them well, she thought. Of course, it was far too soon to approach Adam about it, but she needed to make sure that he didn’t do anything rash, such as give the baby up for adoption. Adam was devastated and exhausted. He fell asleep on Gina’s couch right after dinner and Gina put the baby to bed in the spare room where she had a playpen already set up for her. She didn’t wake him and he slept straight through until the next morning. In the morning, he woke with a start. “Where’s Rebecca?” he asked Gina in a panic. “It’s okay, Adam. She’s asleep in the den,” she said, as she handed him a strong cup of coffee. “What happened?” he asked, somewhat disoriented. “I think you had a full nights sleep for the first time in a year,” she said, sympathetically. “Thanks. I mean it, Gina. Thanks,” he said. He realized that she was right. The past year had been a miserable mix of pain and anguish, work and sleeplessness. The only joy he had was Rebecca. Every time he looked in her angelic little face and saw Lisa reflected in it, he felt unimaginable joy. He knew that the hardest thing in the world 138

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would be to give her up, but he knew that to keep her was the most selfish. She needed a home with a mother and a father. She needed and deserved it. It would be what Lisa wanted. It would rip Adam’s heart to shreds, but it was the right thing to do. “You can’t do it,” Gina said, as she read his mind. “What?” “I know what you’re thinking. You’ve talked about it before. You can’t give Rebecca up for adoption.” “Gina, don’t. You don’t know how hard this is,” he begged. “Of course, I do, Adam. I’ve seen you week after week, month after month care for that baby and care for your wife. I know you love that little girl more than life itself. And more importantly, she loves you the same way. It would destroy you both if you let her go,” Gina ranted on. He hung his head and cried. Gina went to Adam and put her arms around him. Her heart was breaking for him and his daughter. This was a sensitive, good man whose life had been shattered and Gina loved him desperately. “Adam, why don’t you move in here?” she said, finally. “I have the extra room that you could share with Rebecca and I could help out with her. We could share expenses once you’re on your feet,” she added, so he wouldn’t think she was asking for anything more than a roommate. She knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but she could become part of his life, through his daughter and hope for something more in the future. He sat silently for a few moments, mulling over what Gina said. Perhaps she was right; It was evident how much Rebecca loved him every time he picked her up and she gurgled, dada, as she hugged him tightly around the neck. Perhaps the best thing for her 139

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would be to stay with the father who could someday tell her about what a wonderful mother she had. “Adam?” Gina probed. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it. I guess right now I shouldn’t make any big decisions,” he admitted. “I think that’s a good idea. Give it some time. I’m not going anywhere,” she said, gently. She would wait as long as she needed to. Sooner or later, he was bound to need her. Gina could be satisfied with him needing her to start with. She knew it could grow into love…if she were patient. And Gina knew she could be patient if it meant being with Adam and Rebecca forever.

Several weeks later, Adam stopped by Gina’s after work. He was carrying Rebecca in his arms. “Hi. C’mon in,” she said, as she took Rebecca from him and kissed her cheek. She was a charming little baby, although, she was changing from baby to toddler very quickly. Gina cooked a particularly nice dinner for them and served pie and coffee in the living room afterwards. Gina waited for Adam to bring up the subject of moving in, but she could sense his hesitation. “Gina…Gina, I’ve decided that I can’t give Rebecca up,” he said, finally. “Oh, I’m so relieved. I was really afraid you were going to go through with it and I know it would have been the wrong thing! You can move in here any time. The spare room has only a few things that need to be moved out and…” “Wait, Gina. I’m not going to move in,” he told her. 140

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“Your not?” she said with obvious disappointment in her voice. “I can’t thank you enough for the offer. It was very kind and generous, but I think it would be a mistake. We’ve become good friends and Rebecca is very fond of you. I think I could come to rely on you too much if we were here and that wouldn’t be fair to you,” he said. “But I’m fond of her too and I want to be part of her life…and…yours, too Adam,” she admitted. She knew that she had to reveal something or he would slip away from her without ever knowing how she felt. “Gina,” was all he said. He had been very focused on his wife and daughter for the past year and never sensed Gina’s feelings for him. She had never indicated anything but friendship to him, so he was completely taken off guard. “I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t want to let you know how I felt so soon after Lisa’s death,” she said. “I’m…well, I guess I didn’t expect this. You’ve been a really good friend to us. I think that I’m not ready to think about it being anything else. Not yet, anyway. Under the circumstances, I think it’s best for me to find another place for Rebecca and me,” he said, as he stood up. “Of course,” she said, feeling the blush in her cheeks. She was embarrassed and disappointed, but she tried not to let it show. He said, not yet, so maybe it could still happen in the future. She watched him go in to Rebecca and lift the sleeping child into his strong arms; she watched as he closed the door behind him when he left.

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very kind in letting him stay there with a new baby, but Rebecca was starting to walk and he needed more than a tiny room for the two of them. The problem was that a regular apartment was too expensive in his current situation. A roommate was the perfect solution, but Gina was out of the question. He had no idea she wanted a relationship and he certainly was not ready to open his very wounded and broken heart to anyone. Adam would spend his days working hard to establish a name in his business and his nights with Rebecca. He would scour the for rent section of the Sunday paper each week looking for a place. He was unsuccessful. Then one day, he received a call from a Mary McFarland to do some electrical work in Grove City. It was an old house that needed some updating on the wiring. He was glad for the work and he headed out to a place called Angel House. Mary McFarland answered the door. “Hi. I’m Adam Morrison,” he said by way of introduction. “Come in, Mr. Morrison,” she said, warmly. “Please, call me Adam,” he answered. “Then call me Mary,” she said back. She ushered him into the large foyer. “This is a beautiful house,” he said, as he looked at the woodwork and architecture. He had a great appreciation for the beauty of old homes. He and Lisa had dreamed of someday buying an old Victorian home to remodel. He imagined it would have been very much like this one. “Thank you. It has been a lot of work, and something always seems to need repairing.” “Well, it’s well worth it,” he responded. 142

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“You don’t have to pay the bills,” she laughed, as she showed him to the basement. Adam spend four hours doing the rewiring. Mary had a cup of coffee waiting for him when he was done. “Thanks,” he said, as he gulped it down. “Take it easy. You don’t have to rush,” she siad. “Well, I have to pick up my daughter before the day care center closes,” he told her. “I’ll have to come back tomorrow to finish up.” “Why don’t you bring your daughter with you? We have our own day care. Then you could see her when you’re here; you could have lunch with her,” Mary said, innocently. She didn’t expect what happened next. Adam Morrison sat down at the kitchen table, laid his head down and started to sob. Mary didn’t know what to do. She sat down next to him and laid a hand on his head. She stroked his hair and he looked up. She could see the depth of his grief in his eyes. “Tell me,” she said, very softly and Adam poured out his heart to this stranger. When he was done, he felt a tremendous burden lifted. He had been carrying around the pain and loss that was choking the life out of him. He was loving a baby and caring for her in the best way he could, but he was overwhelmed by his circumstances. “You are a remarkable man, Adam Morrison. Now you go home and get your daughter. You come back here tomorrow with her and we’ll talk some more.” Adam left feeling better than he had in a long time and he didn’t even know why. Mary was a very kind woman who let him spill his guts at her kitchen table. He didn’t know what Angel House was and he didn’t know how it was going to change his life.

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Mary met Adam and his daughter at the door the next morning. “She’s darling,” Mary said of Rebecca, as she took her to the playroom. Adam followed behind her. He watched as Rebecca sat contently on the carpeted floor and picked up a toy drum to bang on. He could hear her laughter, as he followed Mary back to the kitchen. “Sit down,” she said to him. “I should get to work,” he said, as he was poised in the doorway with his toolbox. “Please. Sit down, first.” Adam obliged. Mary poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down across the table from him. Then she told him about Angel House. “Wow. That’s an amazing story. These women and children are very lucky to have you.” “We are all blessed that God provided this opportunity to help each other,” she said. Mary McFarland never took personal credit for Angel House. She knew that it was God’s creation and she was just the facilitator. “Adam, the rooms upstairs are filled with women and their children whose lives have been filled with trouble and misfortune. This is a safe haven and a place for them to get on their feet and move on. There is an element of trust and safety here. Wendy Proctor is the house manager and my right hand woman, you might say. I trust her judgement as much as my own.” Adam was listening to her, politely, but he was starting to get anxious to start working. He had an appointment later that afternoon to see an apartment on the outskirts of Grove City and he didn’t want to be late. It was a small apartment in a relatively shabby section 144

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of town, but it was all he could afford and it was closer to the day care center where he left Rebecca each morning before work. “I spoke to Wendy and we both agreed that you and your daughter should move in here,” Mary said. “What?” Adam said in disbelief. “Well, we couldn’t have you upstairs with the women. That wouldn’t be right. But there’s a large section of the basement that could easily be converted into a living area for you and Rebecca…particularly if you were willing to do some of the work yourself. I think it’s big enough for a small bedroom for each of you, as well as a small living room.” Adam sat silent. “Well, what do you think, Adam?” she asked. “I think your crazy, ma’am, if you’ll forgive me for saying so.” “You’re forgiven” she laughed. “But I don’t think so. You need a place for you and Rebecca; a safe and secure place. You need childcare and home cooking. We need a caretaker who can fix things around here as needed and believe me, there’s always something that needs fixing. You would live here in return for your help with repairs. You could work your regular job and we will watch Rebecca in the day care.” “Mary, this is much too kind. I really can’t accept.” It was too good to be true and he couldn’t take advantage of her like this, he thought. “No, Adam. You don’t understand. We really need your help,” she said desperately, trying to convince him. She sensed that his self-respect and pride were stopping him from accepting her offer. “There are limited funds for Angel House and if we don’t keep it in 145

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good repair, we risk losing it somewhere down the road.” Adam sat and thought for a moment. She made sense and he understood that a house this old and this size needed much upkeep. He also knew that to pay contractor’ wages for every repair would cost them a fortune. He could do it for room and board! “It’s a deal!” he said, as he held out his hand. “Wonderful!” she said, as she ignored the handshake and hugged him instead.

Adam spent the next few weeks working 12 hours a day to construct a new home for Rebecca and himself. He roughed out three small rooms that would serve nicely as their very own apartment. After he put up the drywall and painted the rooms, he realized he would need furniture to put in them. He had Rebecca’s crib, but everything else at Mrs. Johanssen’s stayed there. He had sold all things he and Lisa had in their apartment while she was in the hospital. He only got a fraction of what they paid for it, but he needed the money to live on. And he was still paying hospital bills. Adam told Mary he was going to the Salvation Army after he got paid for a job at a local restaurant that was adding an addition the following week. He had some touch up painting to do on Saturday morning and then would be able to shop for a few meager things at the Salvation Army that afternoon. He was hoping to be able to move in within the next two weeks. The sooner the better. Rebecca was becoming more and more active and their room at the boardinghouse was becoming increasingly unsafe for a one year old. Adam brought Rebecca to the playroom that Saturday morning, but there was no-one there. It was Chrissy Harper’s turn to babysit for the kids and she was nowhere to be 146

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seen. And then he realized that there were no kids anywhere. The house was unusually quiet and empty. He was stumped. Where was everyone? And what was he going to do with Rebecca while he painted? Oh well, he would just have to sit her in one room with some toys while he worked in the other. There was nothing she could hurt herself on and he would be right next door. Adam opened the basement door and carried Rebecca down the steps to their new home. _

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