Is your partner faking it?
&
Bitch moan
PAGE 9C
PAGE 2C
The University Daily Kansan
on the
The benefits of waiting until marriage PAGE 10A
Special Section
SEX HILL September 14, 2005
2C The University Daily Kansan t from the editor
Welcome to the 2005 edition of Sex on the Hill. Sex permeates our lives as Special Sections Editor
[email protected] college students more and more every year. Whether in the media or in our personal lives, sex—or the lack thereof—is a constant companion. Inside this issue, you can find quintessentially sexy Jayhawks, what it’s like lusting after your professor or TA and the answer to the age-old question: Is she faking it? We hope you enjoy this annual romp into the spicy, sometimes controversial, always riveting world of sex and sexuality at the University of Kansas n Ross is a Topeka senior in journalis
sexontheHILL
Wednesday, september 14, 2005
Put your ‘O-face’ forward
page design by Erin Baker
INDEX P A G E 5C P A G E 6C P A G E 4C P A G E 3C
HOOK-UP GUILT
Columnist Ryan Kusmin discusses the pros and cons of having random one-night stands.
SEXY JAYHAWKS
What do Allen Fieldhouse, Mary Klayder and KUInfo all have in common? They’re all quintessentially KU and they’re all sexy!
HOT FOR TEACHER You know you’ve had a crush on a teacher before.
HOW TO BE A WING MAN Unsure how to back up your buddy when he’s making a move? Eric Jorgensen and Matt Sevcik have got your back.
on the cover Photograph by Ginny Weatherman Models Brandon Lundgren Jen Mitchum
Photo Illustration by Candice Rukes
n Ashley Zahn
[email protected] Kansan Correspondent
Faking it keeps future pleasure at bay
Y
ou thought you had it right, but you had it oh, oh, OOOOH! so wrong. Most women have faked an orgasm in the bedroom at least once, according to a 2000 Orgasm Survey. Some women are habitual violators. But as guys are gradually catching on, is falsifying a dramatic end to a midnight rendezvous even worth it? There are different reasons for a woman to fake it beneath the sheets. She could be uncomfortable physically or emotionally or she might just want to end the action as soon as possible. At the beginning of a relationship, things don’t always mesh perfectly. Sometimes stretching the truth in the sack can help the relationship have an opportunity to evolve. “With my ex-boyfriend, I faked it every time in the beginning. He seemed very inexperienced. Faking it made it easier so we could continue moving on in the relationship,” Nicky Androes, Wichita senior, said. Regardless of the situation, most women think their partner expects them to orgasm, so they feel obligated to do so, according to slate.msn.com. When she knows there is no way she is going to climax, she feels sympathetic and the need to act like she finished to spare his ego. But do guys really care that much if the encounter ends with a finale? Not really. A misconception among women is that their partners think they should reach orgasm every time. Even though they wish for the best, most guys realize that a woman is not going to get off every time they hit the sack. Women are less likely to fake it with someone they are in a committed relationship with. When in a relationship, honesty is a better route.
Being truthful can leave room for improvement in the bedroom. “Faking happens way too often. I believe the female is selling herself short. By faking an orgasm, she is not asking for the effort that is actually needed to get her off,” Cal McConnell, Lawrence resident, said. But if the hook up is merely a fling, like a one-night stand, guys say it doesn’t phase them whether she fakes it or not. “I really don’t care if she fakes. If she wants to fake it to feel good about herself, more power to her. But if I care about her, I’d be kind of mad if she lied to me,” Rusty Nelson, Omaha senior, said. Guys are catching onto the little secret. Most say they can spot a fake out., according to the survey. It is easy to tell whether a woman is experiencing a real orgasm after having sex with a her on a regular basis. All women show different signs of climaxing. Common signs she’s experiencing the real deal are having a full-body blush and blood rushing below the belt. Facial expressions can also be a sign. “Well, your face probably looks a lot cuter when you fake it,” said Jenni Zammit, Overland Park senior. Doctor Jo Ramberg has been a sexologist since 1988 and she says communication is key to acquiring a breath-taking end to a midnight romp. “Having to fake it means there is a lack of knowledge by both partners of how to stimulate each other to a climax,” Doctor Ramberg said. Sex is still pleasurable for a woman, even if she doesn’t reach orgasm. Despite this, there are things you can do next time so she won’t have to fake it. Relax. Your partner can sense your nervousness and this can make situations
uncomfortable. Don’t leave out emotional gestures. Kissing is important and is often forgotten when action gets really intense. Y o u know what they say: Different strokes for different folks. This should be taken literally in the b e d ro o m . Different women get excited in different ways, so pay close attention to what feels good for her. Let her know you are open to being shown how it’s done. Can the tables be turned? Only on rare occasions do guys fake it. Yes, this is possible by acting like he just came, and then scurrying away. And it’s even easier if there is a condom invovled. For guys, it’s easy to admit that it’s just not going to happen, especially when alcohol has been consumed. But they don’t feel the need to portray a dramatic ending. Bottom line: Ladies, keep it real. Guys, keep your ladies interested beneath the sheets.
A misconception among women is that their partners think they should reach orgasm every time. Even though they wish for the best, most guys realize that a woman is not going to get off every time they hit the sack.
— Edited by Patrick Ross
on wednesday, september 14, 2005 The University Daily Kansan 3C the
sex HILL
n opinion
n Kelsey Hayes
[email protected] Kansan Correspondent
Sex in a bunk bed
Residence hall romps prove tricky
A
resident hall occupant’s worst nightmare: Waking up to the sound of your roommate in the act. With hormones raging and newfound freedom, sex, among other things is a common occurrence in residence halls. Excluding Gertrude Sellards Pearson, which doesn’t allow male visitors past 11 p.m. during the school week, there aren’t any rules against having opposite sex visitors in residence hall rooms. R e s i d e n c e halls require you to check in a guest who is spending the night, regardless of intents or purposes. So, whether it be a visit from an out-ofstate significant other, or just a fling, sex is inevitable. Leslee Ransom, Olathe sophomore, and resident assistant at Oliver Hall said that there was no policy against having sex in the
Because there aren’t any actual rules against sex in the residence halls, what happens behind closed doors is ultimately a discussion between roommates. Resident halls require their occupants to compile roommate agreements, which are signed pieces of paper saying that both roommates will abide by the rules—including those on visitors— they each set for the duration of the school year.
residence halls and that it’s just an agreement that one has with a roommate. “It’s disrespectful to your roommate,” Ransom said. “But some people just can’t help it.” Mindi Nichols, Ottawa graduate student, said she never had a problem with her roommates having sex. “My roommates were good. But I’d probably be annoyed, especially if I was on the bottom bunk,” she said. Because there aren’t any actual rules against sex in the residence halls, what happens behind closed doors is ultimately a discussion between roommates. Residence halls require their occupants to compile roommate agreements, which are signed contracts saying that both roommates will abide by the rules — including those on visitors — they each set for the duration of the school year. If the rules are breached it’s up to the involved parties to decide how it should be dealt with. If problems persist, the RA or housing staff can get involved, and in a worst-case scenario, the annoyed roommate can request a roommate change. It would seem that not having sex in a residence hall while a roommate was there would be an unspoken agreement, but social courtesies aren’t on everyone’s minds. Having sex in the residence halls can be considered ill-mannered, but some residents, including Chris Zammit, Overland Park freshman, have higher standards. “Assuming I was going to have sex, I would in my dorm under specific conditions,” she said. “My roommate is gone for a while and it’s in my bed. I would assume my roommate wouldn’t be screwing on my bed.” Still, some suggest finding out that your roommate is in mid-copulation mere feet away from you should be taken with a grain of salt. “Being annoyed, awkward moments, those are a part of the dorm experience. It’s what creates memories!” Nichols said. — Edited by Kellis Robinett
heard on thehill Does cheating always lead to a break-up? “No. A lot of times people cheat and get back together, it happens.”
“No. A lot of times people cheat and get back together. It happens.”
n Paul Morris Overland Park senior
n Kelley Rockey Hiawatha freshman
“Usually. But sometimes they get back together if the two people really care about each other or have been in a long relationship.”
“Yes. If you can’t trust your boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s just no point in having a relationship.”
n Monica Nemechek Overland Park sophomore
n Shannon Bridger-Riley Tulsa, Okla., sophomore
where have all the
WING MEN
GONE?
n Eric Jorgensen and Matt Sevcik
[email protected] Sex on the Hill Columnists
Three ways to back up your buddy on the fly
W
e need to talk. Where are the wing men out there? I’ve seen some atrocities during these opening weekends of school. I’ve witnessed guys left for the lions while their buddy sits on the sidelines nursing a beer like his life will end if he finishes it. I saw a guy talking to a girl with his buddy n e a r b y. When the girl’s friend came to impose on the conversation, the wing man buckled. His reaction was like Sasquatch came into the bar carrying a samurai sword. Scared and selfish, he bolted, yelling, “Every man for himself.” The wing man is the last line of defense against the posse of drunken, rambling women. It is the bottom of the ninth, and coach is calling in the closer. I am going to try to help you conquer these obstacles. Here are step-by-step directions for three simple wing man maneuvers. These are designed to help your buddy seal the deal. First though, we need to learn some vocabulary. We all know the wing man, but there are three other players in this game. The wing man’s friend has many titles. You can call him “The Go-ToGuy,” or even “The Tank” if it tickles your fancy. With a name like “The Tank,” though, he’s probably better off sticking to the wing man role. To avoid confusion we will stick with a simple title for the wing man’s friend. He will be known as “Uncle Jesse.” The women have many names also, some of them of-
fensive and unnecessary. This is no place for crude names, so we will call the target girl “D.J. Tanner.” As for the girlfriend who tries to break up the conversation and pull her girl away, we will refer to her as “Bob Saget.” Now, let’s enter the wing man playbook. “The Intercept” Uncle Jesse and his feathered mullet are laying the game on D.J. and her acid-washed jeans. It may seem a little like incest, but whatever, D.J.’s hot. As Uncle Jesse and D.J. are whispering nasty nothings into each other’s ears, the wing man spots Bob Saget on the prowl. Bob Saget is pacing around the bar, eyeing her friend. Like 1995, Bob Saget is everywhere. As Bob Saget makes the move to her friend, the wing man intercepts her and stops her from reaching Uncle Jesse and D.J. At the point of interception, spark up conversation to keep the shifty Bob Saget at bay. Say something like, “Do you think Mark Mangino will ever be on Celebrity Fit-Club?”
a girl no one wants around is to use as many bad pickup lines as possible, until she cannot stand to be around the “creep who won’t leave her alone.” These lines are golden for Bob Saget removal: “You know, the purple Teletubby was based on my life,” or “I’m the skinny white guy from Color Me
I saw a guy talking to a girl with his buddy nearby. When the girl’s friend came to impose on the conversation, the wing man buckled. His reaction was like Sasquatch came into the bar carrying a samurai sword. Scared and selfish, he bolted, yelling, “Every man for himself. ”The wingman is the last line of defense against the posse of drunken, rambling women. It is the bottom of the ninth, and coach is calling in the closer. are Badd.”
“Jumping on the Grenade.” Uncle Jesse and D.J. trying to enjoy each other’s company, but that damned Bob Saget is right in there with them, dominating the conversation with lame jokes and terrible voiceovers of home-videos, ruining the chances the two lovebirds will ever unite. The wing man sees the disappointed and horny look on Uncle Jessie’s face, and knows it’s time to act. Like a soldier saving his platoon, he dives in headfirst to cover Bob Saget from exploding and ruining the potential hookup. Now the wing man is face-to-face with the beast. He has to get rid of Bob Saget before she goes into a sentimental speech about the importance of family. The best way to get rid of
A n optional “Wanna sex me up?” can be used to follow up the latter line. Now Uncle Jesse and D.J. can finally get to the point, and head back to the unFull House after hours.
“The Resume Builder” The ol’ resume builder is a time-tested technique that can move y o u r buddy f r o m t h e “least likely
see
WING MEN on page 10C
4C THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
on the
SEX HILL
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2005
Some students fall hard for tasty teachers ■ D ANI H URST
[email protected] KANSAN CORRESPONDENT
Instructors and students steer clear of dating in class
I
t’s 2:24 p.m. on the first Friday back from summer vacation. Most students are finished with their classes for the day, and are already planning for the weekend of debauchery that will commence once the sun hits the horizon (for some, even sooner). But for students in a certain German class, there is at least one more 50-minute class period standing between them and their highly-anticipated first weekend back in Lawrence. With no instructor in sight, idle chatter fills the room, volleying beAnna Shirer tween peoSophomore ple slumped in their desks, passing by those too glassy-eyed by the idea of weekend plans to notice. Then the classroom door opens, and in steps the teacher. Sluggish movements become alert as wandering eyes focus on, and follow the woman who has just entered. Sleek and tall, her curly blonde hair bounces at her shoulders as she makes her way to the front of the room. A collective gasp escapes the guys as they swivel their heads and bodies to get a better look. Grant Wagner, Bennington sophomore, is among them. Thoughts of the weekend ahead are temporarily forgotten as the
“If it’s meant to be, it can wait a semester.”
for students by students
woman introduces herself in a genuine and endearing German accent, and class begins. “Ever since the first day, I thought she was a very pretty woman,” Wagner said. He also said he’s pretty sure the other guys in the class would agree with him. Her German accent is also very alluring, he said. Wagner is not the only person who found his foreign language instructor attractive. Zak Beasley, Kansas City, Mo., junior, can relate to Wagner’s story. For Beasley, it was the spring semester of his freshman year when he took French 120 and found out what it was like to be fascinated with a college instructor. It could be a good thing, Beasley said. Even though he tries hard in all his classes, Beasley said that this could be an extra reason to pay attention and succeed. “You want to impress them, so you try to do really well in their class,” Beasley said. Beasley said that although it’s great having a pretty teacher, it can get in the way during class. When they’re talking to you, Beasley said, you’re more focused on the fact that they are talking to you than on what they’re actually saying to you. A GTA in the French department, who asked that her name not be used, recounted the times she was hit on by her students when she was teaching at another public university. Two of her students, who happened to be in the same 100-level class, asked her out on dates. She declined both offers, she said, but would have possibly reconsidered if they had not been her students at the time. The students behaved in class, she said, so it didn’t really affect her ability to teach them. “I tried not to pay attention or to favor them,” she said. She said she was also OK with becoming friends with her former students. It’s much better when they
Photo Illustration by Rylan Howe
are no longer students, she said, because while they’re students, hanging out outside the classroom could be considered favoritism. “It’s normal to develop a relationship with your students,” she said, especially if the class is five days a week. There are those cases, however, when the roles are reversed. Anna Schirer, Maize sophomore, said she remembered an incident she had with a professor last year. She said she always felt like he was hitting on her, asking her if she wanted to go out for coffee. Schirer said when she turned
in her final paper, he sent her an email saying that he wanted to discuss the paper — which he found excellent — with her over dinner. “I knew this was a line because the paper was complete crap,” Schirer said. She declined, pulling out the “I’m busy with finals” card, and hoped he’d leave it at that. She said she thought she was in the clear until he emailed her again during winter break. He asked her out once more, saying that because finals were finished, she wouldn’t be nearly as busy. Again, she declined. “I told myself that it was because he was my teacher, but
actually it might have been because he was going bald,” Schirer said. Schirer said she would probably not date a professor, and would only date a GTA after their semester together was finished. “If it’s meant to be, it can wait a semester,” Schirer said. Jessica Phan, Overland Park sophomore, smiled slyly as she remembered her philosophy teacher from fall 2004. “The only reason I went to class was for him,” Phan said. She said she remembered his Australian accent and amazing body, as well as his strong facial features and great confidence.
She also said he was a good teacher for good measure. Unlike the others, however, Phan said she would not have been apprehensive if he approached her. “I would have gone out with him or started a relationship with him if he approached me in a heartbeat,” Phan said. She said the fact that he was a teacher did not discourage her. In fact, she said it made the situation more enticing. “You always hear about people dating their TAs or teachers,” Phan said. “It would be cool to say that I have.” — Edited by Anne Burgard
on wednesday, september 14, 2005 The University Daily Kansan 5c the
sex HILL
n opinion
One-night stands can lead to guilt, regret Morality leads to hookup despair
W
e all have our own name for it: Hooking up, casual sex, one-night stand. The idea is no-strings-attached sex with a stranger or acquaintance. Most of you know what I’m talking about, given that nearly 80 percent of you have done it. And not just once either, but an average of 10 different times, according to an article published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2000. Research for the article was conducted at a state university with similar demographics to the University of Kansas. I, too, am no stranger to hooking up. I am, of course, a gay man. Sometimes, however, these anonymous sexual encounters can leave us with more than we bargained for, and, no, I’m not referring to STDs (though these must be a concern), but rather a negative potpourri of emotions. Hookups are most commonly found in one of three places. The first two are the two most likely venues: Bars or parties. While some consciously go to bars and parties looking for sex, more people fall victim to their
intoxication, through an increased libido and reduced inhibition, and end up going home Ryan Kusmin with a virtual
[email protected] stranger. The bar/party hookup has two disadvantages. The first is that the hookup becomes common knowledge. The second is that there is an increased likelihood of unsafe sex. I prefer the third hookup option, a relatively new phenomenon, hooking up via the Internet. Whether it’s through a site designed for anonymous encounters, a personals Web site or the ever-popular facebook.com, the Internet allows people looking for sex to hook up whenever and wherever they want. They can do it in the privacy of their own homes, without the glares of disapproving — or congratulatory — friends. The Internet also has its disadvantages. There is always the risk that the person could be posing as something they’re not, or, worse than that, the person could be a murderer or rapist. That danger is, however, a factor in any random hookup. After the initial meeting, the deed is done, which can fall under a number of catagories,
heard hill on the
I am not a Christian. I’m not even sure I believe in God, but the truth is I was raised in a society that instills Christian morals.Those “morals” demonize sex out of wedlock (i.e. all sex for me), or even, a modern interpretation, sex out of a relationship. n Kusmin is a Leawood junior in political science
What is the sexiest job?
“Business marketing or sales.”
“A bartender. You get to meet the most people.”
“A firefighter. They have to be in really good shape.”
n Dejon Neugebauer, Lawrence junior
n Barak Krengel, Dallas freshman
n Whitney Blake, Shawnee sophomore
Why Tobacco Express?
Because saving money is sexy
a friend with benefits, an open relationship or a pure sex buddy. I’ve personally found that the post-hookup feelings aren’t as guiltridden when you know the person and spend a little time with them outside of the bedroom. So next time you really enjoy the sex with a random hookup, ask that person if they want to do it again, leaving all that messy relationship stuff aside. And remember, always practice safe sex. That means more than just the pill, ladies.
amazing, awkward or mundane. But I hope the goal of the hookup is achieved, and both people get off. The problem for me, and I imagine many of you, is the thoughts that follow climax and continue for months and even years. They can include, but are not limited to: “I feel really dirty,” “He’s not nearly as cute as I remember him being,” “I need to get the morning after pill,” “What was I thinking?,” “Why did I stoop to this?” These thoughts can amount to remorse, regret and guilt. But why? Wasn’t hooking up the goal all along? I’ve got a hypothesis on why I, and probably many of you, feel this way. I am not a Christian. I’m not even sure I believe in God, but the truth is I was raised in a society that instills Christian morals. Those “morals” demonize sex out of wedlock (i.e. all sex for me), or even, a modern interpretation, sex out of a relationship. So perhaps all my feelings of regret are a function of social conditioning even though I don’t subscribe to the value system that condemns my actions. Pretty deep, huh? The good news is I think I have found a decent alternative to the completely random hookup. There are some variations, but they all amount to the same thing: a regular hookup buddy, either
“A dancer. There are so many movements you can try.” n David Ziser, Wichita senior
the
student perspective
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SJ 6C The University Daily Kansan
on the
sex HILL
exy
Wednesday, septmber 14, 2005
Every Jayhawk is unique and sexy, but these three stand out as worthy of our rapt attention
ayhawks
n Kelsey Hayes
[email protected] Kansan Correspondent
Mary Klayder H
Patrick Ross/KANSAN
onors English students are quite enamored with Mary Klayder. While some speculate that such love stems from her fashion sense (“Have you seen those awesome scarves?” Kim Duensing, Blue Rapids junior, said), Klayder’s cult following may have more to do with her love of reading and devotion to those under her guidance. The sense of humor helps too, no doubt. Klayder received her bachelor’s degree in English from the University of Kansas in 1972. This was followed by another bachelor’s in education in 1975, a master’s in English in 1981 and a doctorate in English in 1995. A member of the faculty since 1980, she has been the recipient of Mortar Board’s Outstanding Educator’s Award five times: 1991, 1995, 2001, 2002 and 2005. Students under her supervision have received awards, including the Marshall and McNair scholarships. Obviously, to receive that many accolades, Klayder has to have done something right. Her secret revolves around inspiring enthusiasm among her students, to get them to think about what they want out of life. “People tend to do best when they really are excited about what they’re doing,” Klayder said. Duensing, who first enrolled in one of Klayder’s “Freshman Honors English” classes and her Freshman Honors Tutorial “So You Want to be a Writer, Huh?”, enjoyed Klayder’s teaching style so much that she went back for more. Duensing took Klayder’s “Sophomore Honors Proseminar” class the next semester and participated in the London Review program a year later.
Klayder is program director for the London Review, a study abroad program in which students spend spring break in London and create a publication of reviews and essays about their stay. Duensing recalled how Klayder comforted her in London during a moment of culture shock. Duensing, being from a small town, was overwhelmed by the city. “Mary spent a long time in my hotel room, comforting me and promising me that everything would be OK because we were going to Oxford the next day, where I could see cows on the way in the countryside,” Duensing said. “I just remember her saying ‘I promise, you’ll see cows tomorrow.’” Emily Howard, Dodge City senior, also took “Freshman Honors English” with Klayder her freshman year. Howard still keeps in touch with Klayder. “Her support extends beyond the English class, and beyond the professor/student relationship,” Howard said. “I consider Professor Klayder a great mentor. She has helped me throughout my four years at KU, even though I’m not an English major.” Besides being involved in such activities as London Review, Klayder also participates in readings (such as Moby Dick and Ulysses on Massachusetts Street), advises the Center for Community Outreach, opens her home to English department parties, and judges poetry slams at scholarship halls. “I think Lawrence is a really rich community,” Klayder said of her involvement. “I’m a really interdisciplinary nature.” It’s this kind of participation outside of the classroom that endears her to students. “I know that whenever I have a problem, whether it’s school-related or a personal relationship, Mary will be there,” Duensing said. “She’s encouraging, she’s exciting, and she cares. That’s huge.” — Edited by Alison Peterson the
student perspective
on wednesday, September 14, 2005 The University Daily Kansan 7C the
sex HILL
Allen Fieldhouse
n Erin Wiley
[email protected] Kansan Correspondent
A
llen Fieldhouse is the hottest and most desired 50year-old on the University of Kansas campus. From the month of October when the Phog rolls in during Late Night clear through the madness of March, more than 16,000 Jayhawk faithfuls fill this historic building for basketball games to feel the power that it holds. As the singing of the alma mater commences and the Rock Chalk chant shakes the rafters, goosebumps are known to rise to the surface of the skin of fans both young and old, just like a lover’s delicate touch could elicit. To a KU basketball fan, nothing is sexier than attending a game in the sweat-filled atmosphere of the Fieldhouse. This season, the appeal during home basketball games will be hotter than ever when offseason modifications are revealed. Chris Theisen, assistant athletics director for media relations, said changes included a new floor, lights, scoreboard and a new coat of paint to the bleachers. Carlos Martinez, San Juan, Puerto Rico, sophomore, is one of the many die-hard KU basketball fans who attended home games last season. The appeal of Allen Fieldhouse is important to Martinez, but he doesn’t think the renovations will change the atmosphere. “It will add a little more flare,” Martinez said. “It seems like a renovation it needed for its 50th birthday.” Jasmine Walthall, Texarkana, Texas, freshman, will step into the Fieldhouse to experience her first home basketball game later this semester. She is excited about the traditions upperclassmen have told her about. “The bonding and that everyone is pumped up and energized,” Walthall said. “Beware of the Phog. The noise. I heard you will be deaf when you leave.” When it really comes down to it, the renovations to Allen Fieldhouse will not change the sex appeal and history the building holds for students, alumni and fans alike. The building is a special place to most everyone who has experienced a game on Naismith Drive, and they will always take at least one special item away from it. “I think it’s like Dickie V. put it. Since the KU Jayhawk tradition is one of the best in all sports, it’s the sign that reads ‘Pay heed all who enter: Beware of the Phog!’” Martinez said. “And the fact that everyone who comes in knows they will be facing a hostile territory and traditional Jayhawk fans. We are tradition makers.” — Edited by Alison Peterson
KU INFO
n Natalie Bogan
[email protected] Kansan Correspondent
U
ntil recent years, students have had a place to turn when they needed the answers to life’s most important questions.Whether they wanted to know the number of dimples on a regulation golf ball or the number to the rape crisis center, KU Info came to the rescue. KU Info, still desirable after all these years, has changed as it has matured. When Alisha Ashley, Halstead senior, and Molly Tucker, Prairie Village senior, came to the University of Kansas they soon learned of the informational service, which they found helpful for adjusting to the city. As a freshman,Tucker called KU Info to help her find the room number for her final exam. “I was looking for my calculus final and realized the room number didn’t exist,” she said. “Then I remembered the number that my resident assistant had given me ‘to call in an emergency.’ I called and the guy located the correct building and room number for me.” Today, KU Info is no longer the omniscient service Ashley and Tucker once relied on to tell them the number of trees on campus or the distance between Paris, Texas, and Paris, France. While the service remains available, it no longer assists with non-academic queries. Last year, University administrators decided the program was excessive and proceeded to make changes to the service, beginning with employees
no longer being allowed to answer non-academic questions. With the significantly reduced number of calls, the University looks to employ a larger, less-trained staff who will have to divide its time between phone calls and performing other duties within their respective departments. Because the larger staff will receive only cursory training on the University, many calls will have to be redirected to other departments. In its prime, KU Info operated using a staff of 12, with two phones, two computers, and limited office space for reference materials. The team of workers was carefully selected, knowledgeable students whose specific purpose was to answer calls. In Fall 2003, Ashley and Tucker began working for KU Info and experienced the changes first hand. Tucker thought the employees prided themselves on their precise and accurate answers. The two watched as the service evolved, but after the administration limited KU Info’s scope to academic information, they quit. “There’s nothing more frustrating for me than explaining to someone on the phone that I could answer their question very easily, but I’m not allowed to because the information service only gives out certain kinds of information,” Ashley said. Now, the girls say, they are working to restore KU Info to its former glory. After meeting with the vice-provosts in charge of the changes, the two realized that raising student
Candice Rukes/KANSAN
awareness would be the only way to save the program. “All they could tell us was that KU Info was going to change,”Tucker said. “But they gave no real timeline or concrete sketch of what it would look like. They even mentioned changing the name, which boggled our minds.” The two are currently collecting signatures to demonstrate to administrators that the service is desired in the minds of the students and alumni. With the petition, the two hope to gather support from campus organizations and find the minimal funding needed to restore the hot line. “Our ideal situation would be making KU Info student-run, cheap and completely comprehensive,” Tucker said. “We don’t want to have to fight our managers any longer about what we can and can’t answer.” Those interested in helping with this cause can sign the petition available at Mrs. E’s, the Student Recreation Fitness Center, downtown businesses, or online at www.petitiononline.com/kuinfo/petition.html. “When we ask upperclassmen if they’ll sign our petition they say ‘Yeah sure! Why are they trying to change KU Info?’ Freshmen say ‘KU What?’ That’s really sad for us, because they’re the ones who could have benefited most from the program and now they have no idea what they’re missing,” Tucker said. — Edited by Patrick Ross
Front Page News • Sports Arts • Opinion • Extra
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8C The University Daily Kansan
sexontheHILL
Wednesday, september 14, 2005
n Kim Wallace
[email protected] kansan correspondant
[thedatebook?] Online dating has ups and downs
W
hat was considered dangerous and taboo during our high school years is now thought of as friendly, fun and far less intimidating than before. Internet dating through every public university’s new hotbed for hookups, www.facebook.com is as common as text messaging during class. But what makes facebook. com different from participating in a singles chatroom or placing a personals ad in a newspaper? Students agree that facebook. com’s “college-only” (and just recently “high school-only”) environment is more appealing and creates a sense of security that other dating services cannot offer. Abby Cunningham, Silver Lake freshman, found her boyfriend, Spencer Anderson, Overland Park freshman, through facebook.com during the summer. She did a random search for people who would be living in McCollum Hall during the fall. “I was interested in meeting new people in my dorm. I wasn’t really looking for anybody. I was just browsing through the pictures and then I clicked on his profile,” she said. “We had a lot of the same interests, especially in music, so we just messaged back and forth for a little over a month before coming to KU.”
The couple decided to wait until they met in person and could really interact with each other before making anything official. Move-in day happened to be the day when Cunningham and Anderson crossed paths. “Abby was literally two people behind me when I was moving in. We really just wanted to get moved in before anything else, though,” Anderson said. The couple has been together since the beginning of the semester, and they have found their relationship to be a positive aspect of their lives. “People don’t really care or make a big deal out of us meeting on facebook. It’s pretty standard,” Anderson said. Meeting potential mates through facebook.com has removed almost every chance of rejection. The instant gratification of messaging or “poking” someone on facebook.com cuts out the awkward first conversations and dead silences. Humiliation hardly exists in the online community, because the chances of actually running into the person who didn’t reply to your advances are slim. Although facebook.com opens a line of communication among college students, the initial purpose of the Web site has
stretched to include exchanging personal information such as relationship status and sexual and romantic preferences. Though this information may seem harmless at first glance, it can make the user a vulnerable target to unwanted messages and flirtations. Elizabeth, St. Louis sophomore, who asked that her last name not be used, received a message from a random user who complimented her on how attractive she was after he had seen her earlier that day. The two lived in the same residence hall. “I had never seen him before, and he would say things to me and then describe what I was wearing that day,” Elizabeth said. “I responded politely and figured he wouldn’t bother me anymore since I didn’t show any interest.” The user continued to message her and told her of his de-
Kansan file photos
sire to approach her, though he never did. At the time Elizabeth had her room number listed on her profile. Red flags went up, and she reported the incident to her resident assistant. “I was advised to eliminate myself from facebook and was told that this wasn’t unusual, because Student Housing had dealt with other incidents involving facebook,” she said. After avoiding the Web site for
two months, Elizabeth’s friends convinced her to give it another try. Thinking the situation had blown over, she logged back in and within a week’s time the same user began to message her again. “It was at most a couple of days before he was messaging me and asking all these personal questions again,” she said. Instead of removing her profile again, Elizabeth told her new boyfriend (whom she did not meet on facebook.com) about the matter, and he intervened. “After my boyfriend said
something to the guy on facebook, he began to verbally attack me and just said how horrible I was. But he did leave me alone,” she said. Even though this incident occurred, Elizabeth continues to use facebook.com, though not for dating, and is more careful about what she lets other users see. “I don’t have any contact information listed on my profile. It’s still a great way to communicate with people from out of town and at school. I’d rather facebook a message to somebody than e-mail them.” — Edited by Becca Evanhoe
Bitch moan
?
With Brian Bratichak and Jessica Crowder
Jessica: How kind of you to notice her slowing metabolism. Perhaps you should use that observant nature of yours to focus on what she does have going for her: For one thing, she’s not depriving herself of food like so many other college girls. If you genuinely want to help her out, mention you think your beer belly’s growing at a rate you’re not proud of and that you’d like to have a workout buddy — namely her — to help you along. To deter her from wanting to eat out so much, you can always earn boyfriend points by packing picnics with healthy food to bypass the caloric overload of eating out. Brian: While Jessica’s gym buddy suggestion is a great idea,
it might cause you more harm than good if she realizes your intentions. You need to take a step back and decide something: Are you noticing her weight gain because you like her skinny or because you are worried for her health? If it’s the first, then you should probably not be in the relationship at all. But if you are really worried about her then you should realize that maybe this is just a stage because she is feeling a lot of stress in school or some problems at home. Don’t just trivialize the matter. There might be something more than just a recent craving for all foods fatty. Another idea: She might have a bun cooking in her oven. You might consider buying a kit to see if she’s actually eating for two.
sex HILL
&
wednesday, september 14, 2005
Q. My girlfriend is gaining weight rapidly. She’s not depressed, she’s just getting fat. How can I help her out? All she wants to do is go out to eat or go out for ice cream. – Cooper, junior
on the
Please send your questions to
[email protected]
?
Q. I had a one-night stand with this out-of-town guy 3 years ago and I recently reunited with him. How do I tell him I’d like to try it again sometime? – Monica, senior
Jessica: I think you should write him an email. Say, “Dear Blah, Remember how easy I was three years ago? Well, I’m still that easy...and lonely too now. If you haven’t moved on and matured past our one-night of kinky bliss, wanna try for round 2? XOXO, The Forgotten One-Nighter.”
?
Q. Lately, my girlfriend and I have been having a way above average amount of sex and I don’t see an end in sight. Have I become addicted to sex, or am I just experiencing a really high sex drive? Is there a difference? – Steven, sophomore
Brian: Yes Steven, there is a difference. When you’re addicted to sex, you’ll do anything to get off whether you are actually horny or not. When you have a really high sex drive, you just want to have sex all the time. Everyone’s sex drive increases and decreases, you two have been blessed that you happen to be on the same schedule. Don’t
As harsh as it sounds, let sleeping dogs lie and find someone in your own town to boink. They call them ONE-night stands for good reason. Anything more would constitute a buddy-ship, which isn’t best-suited for long distance unless it’s a summer fling you go back to each year. Brian: It’s simple. Don’t tell him you want to try it again. Just hang out with him, hit on him big time, invite him back to your place, and voila, your one-night stand becomes a two-night stand. Either that, or go get a real boyfriend. They are much more fun. They actually care about you and they can service your needs at any and all times
ask questions; just find some way to get up to Sam’s Club in Lenexa. They have 40 packs of condoms there for dirt cheap. You might consider buying two boxes, just so you know you have a few spares laying around in every room of both of your houses. Jessica: You’re both nymphomaniacs. You better check both of yourselves in before it’s too late and your naughty parts fall off. Really, I think it’s perfectly fine that you’ve experienced a fluctuation in both of your sex appetites. That’s pretty lucky, but if your over sexing prevents you from getting to work or class on time, or you’ve lost sight of the relationship and the feelings behind your lovemaking, then you should probably take a step back and limit yourselves to maybe once or twice...an hour.
The University Daily Kansan 9c
Safe Sex: Where to go Watkins Student Health Center
(785) 843-9500 n Condoms available in the pharmacy, 3/50¢ n Contraception available as pills, contraceptive patch, the Nuvaring, and the medroxyprogesterone injection n Emergency contraception available with a doctor’s visit n Tests for gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis B, hepatitis C
Douglas County AIDS Project (DCAP)
(785) 843-0040 n Free condoms available in the SUA and Queers & Allies offices in the Kansas Union n Offers free confidential HIV testing. Appointments recommended
Lawrence-Douglas County Health Department
(785) 843-0721 n Contraception available as condoms, pills, Depo-Provera (shot), contraceptive gel, diaphragm n Emergency contraception available from a nurse practitioner n Tests for gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, herpes
Planned Parenthood
(785) 832-0281 n Contraception available as condoms, pills, Depo-Provera (shot), diaphragm, cervical cap, IUD, spermicides, female condoms, Ortho Evra® patch, Nuvaring® n Emergency contraception available with an office visit n Tests for trichomoniasis, HPV, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis B — Catherine Odson, Kansan Correspondent
on the
sex HILL
10c The University Daily Kansan
Wing men
n Katherine Schreiber
continued from page
Virginity: a journey for some students
wednesday, September 14, 2005
[email protected]
4C guy to get laid” category to the “make sure you stop at the gas station for condoms” category. This move involves stretching truths about your friend to make him seem, how shall we put this, more doable. The trick with the resume builder is to remain convincing. If you lose believability, then your friend will be lonelier than Tom Hanks in that movie where he was cast-away from that plane and he had to live on that island all cast-away and alone. I forgot the name. If you bust out saying that your friend is a congressman, you’re going to get shot down quicker than the ducks in the first level of Duck Hunt. You remember, right? The level before you had to get all close to the screen with the gun? Part of remaining believable is picking the correct mark. Don’t walk up to the girl reading Dostoevsky and try to convince her that your pal wrote a best-selling novel. It’s not going to fly. Instead, pick the girl who’s smoking with a cancer-research bracelet on. She won’t have much going on upstairs, and will believe that your friend once saved a school bus full of children. Anyway, when lying to girls about how awesome your friend is, stick to vague lies with difficult to verify details. For example, say, “Oh, yeah my buddy, Eric, is going to law school. He got a 758 on his LTS’s. That score is, like, totally amazing.” See, if you’ve picked the correct mark, there’s no way that they can tell what the LTS is, but it sounds impressive, doesn’t it? So, in conclusion, remain believable, pick an easy mark and steer clear of lies involving bodily functions. They are difficult to believe and not that impressive anyway. I know from experience. The knowledge is yours now. Use it. I do not want to see another man left behind, kicking and punching to fend off the onslaught. Stand up for your friend. Don’t be afraid of all the Bob Sagets out there. n Jorgensen is a Baldwin City junior in journalism. Sevcik is a Leavenworth senior in English. He is Kansan opinion editor.
Kansan Correspondent
Photo Illustration by Candice Rukes
Sexual urges ultimately controllable
H
e reaches for a copy of a small, paleblue book that resides in his backpack. The title, “And You Are Christ’s,” is essentially the only decoration on the cover. Following him to class and across the campus, this book is a reminder to José Vitteri why he has decided to abstain from sex. Vitteri, Lima, Peru, senior has committed to himself and to God to stay a virgin until the day he marries. Vitteri admits that his commitment to chastity is not always an easy path, but says his determination to stay pure has helped him grow and become a stronger person. “Men have an instinct that is an attraction for women. When you choose to remain a virgin until marriage you are choosing purity over your own instincts. You do not grow in virtue if you do not have a challenge,” Vitteri said. Controlling his instincts helps him control other aspects of his life, Vitteri said. Vitteri is in the minority of college students who have chosen to remain celibate until marriage. According to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 80 percent of undergraduate college students admit to engaging in sexual activities be-
fore marriage. Troy Hinkel, director of theological education at St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center, spends much of his time counseling young adults who are struggling with decisions regarding sexuality. Hinkel cites the problems he sees from individuals who engage in premarital sex. “Transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are the obvious negative effects, but I also see the individuals dealing with the emotional and psychological effects of sexual promiscuity,” Hinkel said. “I see low selfesteem, a deeper sense of loneliness and an estrangement from God and friends.” There are often trust and esteem issues as well, Hinkel said. Intimacy and love in a relationship are not merely gained by sex, Hinkel said. There are many, deeper ways individuals can bond in a relationship, other than through sexual relations, he said. “Sex reduces the human to urges. It reduces our nobility. We want to be loved and not used and through merely being used for sex, we create a reductionistic approach to humanity,” Hinkle said.
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Vitteri said that flagrant displays of pre-marital sex in the media caused students to believe that college and adult life was not complete without sex. “All human beings are looking for love. The most important part of human happiness is love,” Vitteri said. “When you surround yourself by like minded people you are able to hold yourself accountable for your actions.”
Vitteri is in the minority of college students who have chosen to remain celibate until marriage. According to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 80 percent of undergraduate college students admit to engaging in sexual activities before marriage.
— Edited by Jonathan Kealing
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