FHM Singapore - February 2013

FOR HIM MAGAZINE

Dow nloa the F H M 2013 d C App alenda r ! insid Details e.

172 FEBRUARY 2013

SINGAPORE’S BEST SELLING MEN’S MAGAZINE! NE! FEBRUARY 2013. $6.00

MAGIC BABE

MAGIC BABE NING

14 MOST

IS SINGAPORE ’ S

HOTTEST

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS

ILLUSIONIST!

CHEN YU FITTEST FEMME FATALES JOSHUA TAN Cover Magic babe.indd 1

MATU RE READERS ONLY

TOXIC

ON-SCREEN

WOMEN

12 CELEB

LOVE RS

YOU SHOULDN’T

PISS OFF

1

RISING STAR:

JOSHUA TAN

FHM RE I MAG I NE S FOOTBALL MANAGER

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Cont ents

02/13

[62]

FEMME FATALES

Sexy and deadly.

[50]

WORST EXES

Thank goodness, they were not yours.

[82]

RISING STAR

From platoon sergeant to recruit.

[74]

FOOTBALL MANAGER REBOOT

An FHM rewrite.

ON THE CO COVER V

Magic Babe Ning wears a lace bra, panties and garter, all by Vali Valisere from Triumph. Leather cuffs, by Dark Leather Le from Victor/9436-0616. Stockings, stylist stylist’s own. Art direction: Tony Law; Photography: Joel Low; Styling: Cheryl Chan; Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Alicia Tey/Mosche Hair Salon using Redken; Makeup: Shaun Lee/9695-2581 using M.A.C; Location: W Singapore, Sentosa Cove. For more behind-the-scenes photos, visit Facebook.com/FHMSingapore, twitter.com/ FHMSingapore and instagram/FHMSingapore. 002

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Cont ents [28]

[82]

REBEL WEAR Revisiting counter-culture style.

Fashion/Tech/Stuff

20 Opener Grooming 1-2-3. 22 Items Metal and leather. 24 Snips Fashion news that you can use. 26 Opinion Wearing fedoras: Cool or just trying to hard? 28 Fashion Counter-culture revival. 38 Sync More new watches. 40 Hardware Tech toys. 42 Hardware Accessories iPhone 5 cases.

[06] The bit where you come in

06 Talent Malaysia’s Yunn Yee. 13 10 Reasons… You’re always broke by payday. 14 Flowchart Should I have a cup of tea? 15 Jokes Celebrity laughs. 16 Train Your Brains Jenson Button. 004

Sorting out your pleasure

78 Gigs Future Music vs Laneway Festival, and a Big Night Out. 80 Games Survive Far Cry 3. 81 TV/DVD Top Gear Korea. 82 Man Recruit Ken Chow. 83 Movies Sexy, violent flicks. 84 Music Violinist Maksim. 85 Books Graphic novels.

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Letters/News/ Flowchart/ Jokes/Talent/ Top 10 List

TH E

S ECTION

YOU

CONTROL

Straits Appeal Freelance model and fashion designer Yunn Yee is one of the sexiest Malaysians to grace our pages. But deep down, this stunner is just a simple girl who seeks a man who’s polite and, perhaps, a little dangerous…

Words: Mitchell Pereira Art Direction: Pyron Tan Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

Lycra maillot, by Coco Bongo. Photography assistance: Alfie Pan & Yvonne Yau; Hair: Antonio Cheng/9363-5145; Makeup: Ronalou Lau/ Ronaloulau.com Model:Yunn Yee/Eleganz

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Talent Lycra string bikini, by Seafolly.

“I find guys with an element of danger at tractive.”

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Talent What do you usually do on weekends? I’d be working at events and they are held mostly over the weekends. How about when you’re not working? Whatever free time I have, I’d most likely return to Malaysia to be with my family. Do you have a favourite haunt? I don’t have a specific hang-out; I go anywhere I want to. Where in Malaysia would you recommend us to go for a fun getaway? There aren’t that many parties in Johor. I’d recommend KL (Kuala Lumpur); it’s a city similar to Singapore. What about food? Definitely KL or Penang! What’s the craziest thing you’ve done when under the influence of alcohol? I rent a room in an apartment, and everyone in the apartment shares a common bathroom. There was once, I really needed to use it but it was already occupied. I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I went back to my room and answered the call of nature in a little plastic bag. What’s your most effective cure for a hangover? Sleep; lots of sleep. I’d usually just sleep till I feel better. What’s your New Year’s resolution? Earn more money! What’s the first quality you look for in a man? First and foremost, he has to be polite. He has to be gentle and have manners. I can’t stand arrogant and disrespectful guys. He has to be polite. What would happen if a cocky guy comes up to you? If someone came up to me and he’s rude or there just isn’t any sort of chemistry, I’d walk away. Out of these three qualities in a man — confidence, humour or looks — which impresses you? Humour! I’m not a very talkative person, so if my boyfriend were to be quiet as well, it’s going to be pretty boring. Would you like to know everything about a guy you’re dating or would you want to retain some mystery? No, I want to know everything! I do not mind them retaining some mystery for other people, but definitely not me. I would like my guy to tell me everything. What if a guy were to bring you home on a first date to meet his mum? I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t think it intimidating at all. I would then get the chance to learn about and know him through his family. Prince Charming, Harry Potter or Bane? Bane! He looks like he could protect me. I find guys with an element of danger attractive. FHM

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Lycra maillot, by Bikini Star.

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Weird World

05

The new-clobber arms-race Uh-oh — your buddies all suddenly look significantly less shabby than they did a week ago. The reason? They’ve just trashed hefty chunks of their wages on new clobber — which means now you’re gonna do the same, because nobody wants to be the scruffy one out. And so the cycle continues… Look, shall we all just agree to not buy any new clothes for two years? Yes, we’ll look crap, but we’ll be as rich as pirates!

04

10 REASONS WHY… YOU’RE ALWAYS BROKE BY PAYDAY

10 09

eBay

“Hold on a minute… A pink Hello Kitty towel from Katy Perry? You know, the one she used to wipe her brow and heaving chest during the post-F1 gig at the Padang last year? You’d have to be a fool to pass up that sort of fan treasure. I may be broke, but a rare find is a rare find.”

4D, Toto and Singapore Sweep and Football Bets

07

WORDS: THE FHM TEAM; PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

System Roll, QuickPick, iBet, Handicap 1X2… What do all these mean? Oh right, it means they’re repossessing your home, car and last remaining clean pair of pants because you’ve spent your monthly salary on the games of chance. No, but seriously, if you just lend us another $50, we’ll definitely win it all back on the next one….

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Paying by card in bars The world was simpler when your parents were your age. You’d leave the house with $60 in your pocket, safe in the knowledge that when that was spent, you’d have no choice but to return home mildly tipsy to your comfy bed. Now, thanks to every watering hole accepting credit cards, you’re confronted the next morning by that heart-sinking feeling when you empty your pockets to find six receipts — including one for 13 Jägermeisters — that you have no memory of whatsoever.

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Staying alive Here’s a top money-saving tip you won’t find on the telly or on your fancy Internet: Stop eating. Catwalk models have been doing it for donkey’s years, and they’re all swimming in dosh. In the long term, you could find yourself suffering from certain side effects including, you know, death. But you’ll be way better off financially. Ka-ching!

Whether you own an Android, Apple or even Windows gadget, the vast selection of seriously fun but mostly useless apps (at only $0.99, $1.99 or $2.99!) is the reason why many mobile addicts are hooked on their touchscreens. Cue: Miscellaneous expenses incurred on your monthly phone bills for friviolities like Angry Birds Space Premium.

03

Hangovers

02

Final demands

01

Friday

Online shopping malls You can, of course, mooch around Amazon.com or Gmarket.com, filling up your basket, without ever actually buying anything. A few days later, you can pile yet more s**t in there, then once again skedaddle without spending a cent. It’s all harmless fun… Until one evening you come home, stick on your computer and drunkenly click on “Proceed to checkout" — emptying both your vast basket and half your bank account.

Touch and you pay

Hangovers do all sorts of funny things — they give you the squits, the fear, and a heart that feels like it’s going to explode all over your bedroom. Hell, they’ve even been known to convince you that Patricia Mok’s actually quite hot. But the worst thing about hangovers is that they cause you to disregard the value of money entirely, making a $84 takeaway appear to be exceedingly good value for money.

Nobody pays their bills immediately — that’s for idiots. You wait until the gas/electricity/broadband/phone people send you a final, final, final demand printed in red ink, on red paper, in a red envelope – and then you pay them. Sadly, these final demands tend to arrive in threes, like buses. Massively expensive buses, driven by wankers.

For the first four days of the working week, you make your own lunch, avoid alcohol and are generally tighter than your accountant girlfriend. Then Friday comes and all good intentions go out the window. Three-hour boozy lunch at that fancy gastropub? Why not. After-work round on you? Sure. $80 for a ride home by a car jockey? F**k it, it’s Friday! 02/13

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Flowchart

SHOULD I HAVE A CUP OF TEA? …Or would something else quench your thirst? A pint? A cheese sandwich? A hug? There’s only one way to find out. Take the FHM scientific test…

NO

Start Here First thing first. Could you – theoretically – drink some tea right now? YES

Do you have an orifice into which tea and other liquids can be deposited?

NO Are you a television personality who is contractually obliged to be drinking tea always?

YES

No tea for you You are a prisoner in solitary confinement. You have problems which are beyond the restorative powers of a hot drink.

YES

YES

You need a cup of tea!

NO

NO

NO

Do you have important but dull tasks you want to put off doing? Tax returns? Building a shelf? Squeezing out a big one?

The world and its problems can wait. You need a brew like the desert needs the rain, like Liverpool needs Suarez, like Kim Kardashian needs attention. Go now and slake your thirst.

YES

NO

YES

YES Is there something preventing you from holding a mug? Take a close look at your hand. Do you lack opposable thumbs? YES

Are you currently in the United Arab Emirates (annually Emiratis get through 6.24kg of tea per capita, the most in the world)?

Do you work in an office so awful that making countless cups of tea is your only respite from the mind-killing drudgery of work?

NO NO Are you currently face-down in the mud, being hunted by someone or some… thing?

YES

Get to the choppa! You are a character in the 1987 action film Predator. Put all thoughts of tea aside and do as Arnold Schwarzenegger says.

NO You may not be human Don’t panic. Due to the miracle of evolutionary development, your species may one day acquire thumbs. You, however, will be long dead.

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You are on fire There is only one possibility. What you need is someone with a powerful hose or a pail of water. We’ll deal with the tea situation once the blaze is extinguished.

WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS

So what’s the problem? Do you lack access to a kitchen or source of boiling water?

Not only are you not human, you aren’t even an animal. Consult a separate flow chart designed for minerals and vegetables.

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Laughs

Celebrities say the funniest things…

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOEL LOW

ONLY YOU

COMPILED BY: MITCHELL PEREIRA, PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

On the upside

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator temporarily out-of-order” sign. Just “Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” We apologise for the fact that you can still get up there. Mitch Hedberg

No kidding

When you say, “Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!”, that’s not what the child hears. What the child hears is: “Lie down in the dark… for hours… and don’t move… I’m locking the door now.” Dylan Moran

Parental advisory

One time, my own father caught me watching a porno flick. The one thing you never want to hear in that situation is, “Son, move over.” Dave Attell

Repeat after me

Whenever I’m with a woman, I whisper softly into her ear, “Touch my vagina,” and she’s like, “What!” and I’m like, “That’s what you’re supposed to say.” Zach Galifanakis

Look who’s talking?

My wife is so analytical with raising kids and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into ad, it it. If they turn out bad, ter her means they took after side of the family. Jeff Foxworthy

Morning Blunt-ness

I feel sorry for James es Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think,

I joined a dating agency and went out on a load of dates that didn’t work out. And I went back to the woman who ran the agency and said: “Have you not got somebody on your books who doesn’t care about how I look or what job I have and has a nice big pair of boobs?” And she checked on her computer and said: “Actually, we have one, but unfortunately, it’s you.” n — Karl Spain

“Oh my gosh, I’m James Blunt, what have I done?” Bill Bailey

Beach babe

Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… It pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say, “What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!” Steven Wright

I can see clearly

I went to see m my doctor. “Doctor, every mornin morning when I get up and I look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. Wh What’s wrong with me me?” He said, “I do don’t know but your ey eyesight is perfect.” Ro Rodney D Da ng Dangerfi eld

Like a Scot

I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at a World Cup — just pleased to be there. Russel Howard

Silent treatment

I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: Just keep peeing ’til you hear water. Adam Ferrara

SHARE GAGS, EARN RESPECT. Know any funny jokes? Send them to [email protected] 02/13

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Train Your Brain

01 Get Your Eyes On A Prize

When Button was eight, he dreamed of working in telesales. Not really, he wanted to be “in F1 and challenging for the title”. Twelve years later, he became Britain’s youngest F1 driver. The lesson: People who think big achieve big. Start dreaming and who knows where you could end up at?

02 Utilise Your Team’s Skills

Despite his talent, it took Button 113 Grand Prix to win a race. Why? “I thought I could just drive around problems,” he reveals. “But there is more to F1 than driving. You have to understand the psychological and engineering side so you can talk to mechanics.” The lesson: Most successful people work well with others.

03 Challenge Yourself

WORDS: STUART HOOD. ILLUSTRATION: ROBBIE’S BROWN SHOES

Button’s such a s**t-hot triathlete he qualified for 2012’s World Ironman Championship. He took it up in 2007, because he was doing crap in F1. “It was tough underachieving, but I found triathlon got rid of the frustration,” Button explains. The lesson: Find a hobby to help clear your mind.

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04 Learn From Mistakes

In Monaco in 2003, Button nearly died when he crashed at 280kmh and a G-force of 33G (most people can’t hold their head up at 5G). “It felt like my skin and flesh were being ripped from my bones,” he remembers. “But looking back, that crash was good for me. You need a few bangs to think about the risks.” The lesson: We all screw up. Learn from it.

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN LIKE

JENSON BUTTON

Pimp your mind by thinking like the champion F1 driver who overcame injury, redundancy and a massive party habit…

05 Consider the “Bigger Picture”

When Button signed for Brawn in 2009, he took a 50 per cent pay cut, flew on budget airlines and washed his own overalls between races. Why? These savings helped Brawn buy out Honda and take its place on the grid. “Money means nothing when you have the chance to race in a front-running car,” explains Button. That season, he won the world title and bagged himself a big money move to McLaren. The lesson: Sometimes a short-term step back can lead to a long-term step forward.

06 Keep Moving Forward

By winning the 2009 F1 Championship, Button had achieved his life-long dream at the age of 29. Time for a several-monthlong party, surely? Uh-uh, time to head to McLaren and start getting to know his new team and car. “Always think of how to improve,” says Button. “You’re never the best; you’ve always got to keep trying harder.” The lesson: Got a pay rise or a promotion? Good for you. Now go and get another one.

07 Don’t Let Success Go to Your Head

After a good first year in F1, Button was snapped up by Benetton. Then, at the age of just 21, his career stalled. “I bought into my own hype,” recalls Button, who was dubbed “Jet-set Jenson” after buying a Monaco pad and a $2.4m yacht. The Englishman finished the 2001 season with just two points and was sacked by Benetton boss Flavio Briatore, who called him a “lazy playboy”. The lesson: Bosses judge you today, not yesterday, so never rest on your laurels.

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ADVE RTOR IAL

Vibrant Times

Splash a dash of colour to your active life with NAUTICA timepieces. 1

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Breeze through time — whether on land or at sea — with Nautica’s line of sports watches. Its flagship collection, NST 07 Flag, is a brilliant piece of design ingenuity that features coloured maritime code flags as hour markers. For those familiar with the internationally recognised nautical flag alphabet system, it spells “Nautica Sport”. For a different face but one that still exudes vibrancy and energy, choose the Nautica NSR 101 Multi series in boldcoloured resin straps. Prefer something muted and classier? Then the Nautica BFD Chrono will fit your wrist just fine.

1. NST 07 Flag: A12626G (black), $229; A12629G (white), $229; A12628G (red), $229. 2. NSR 101 Multi: A13646G (orange), $249; A13644G (yellow), $249; A13645G (red), $249. 3. BFD Chrono: A18652G (mink dial with brown croc leather strap), $329; A18654G (black dial with black croc leather strap), $329; A21539G (black dial with black leather strap), $399.

Nautica watches are available at Nautica Boutiques, OG Orchard Point, OG People’s Park, Tangs Orchard, Level 3, Tangs VivoCity, Level 1, selected City Chain Stores and authorised retailers.

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Group Therapy If one grooming item is good, then two is better. Here’s a bunch that play extra well together, while giving your body a boost. 020

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01)Redken For Men Clean Brew Extra Cleansing Shampoo, 250ml, $38 Formulated with malt and orange zest, this eliminates dirt and oil while purifying the scalp.

04)Evolu Balancing Overnight Cream, 75ml, $50 This hydrator conditions and rejuvenates to retain skin’s firmness, with wheat germ and lavender.

02)Redken For Men Firm Grasp Texturizing Clay, 100ml, $39 With an unbeatable firm hold, this styling clay gives maximum control and a matte finish with no sticky residue.

05)+Rehab London Scrub Up Daily Detox, 125ml, $25 Using volcanic sand and bamboo, the scrub cleanses, unclogs and reduces pores.

03)Evolu Balancing Day Cream, 75ml, $48 A light cream that leaves no oily after-feel, this regulates hydration, to keep skin in optimal condition.

06)+Rehab London Calm Balm Aftershave Lotion, 50ml, $28 Make razor burns a thing of the past; this aftershave lotion heals and encourages cell renewal.

WORDS: JANINE LEE; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: EALBERT HO, CHESSBOARD: THE SINGAPORE CHESS FEDERATION

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07)+Rehab London No Shine Moisturiser, 50ml, $38 Matt-ify your complexion with this moisturiser that also balances the oil generated by your skin. 08)Kiehl’s Aromatic Blends SkinSoftening Body Cleanser, 250ml, $33 This foaming body cleanser conditions without drying and leaves skin feeling soft. 09)Kiehl’s Aromatic Blends Aromatic Mist, 100ml, $82 A fusion of fig leaf and sage, this refreshing EDT has a simple yet sophisticated scent.

10)Kiehl’s Aromatic Blends SkinSoftening Body Lotion, 250ml, $43 Made with natural ingredients, apply this lotion after cleansing to deliver 24 hours of hydration to the skin.

12)Bioderma Hydrabio Moisturising Scrub, 75ml, $29.90 Made for sensitive skin, this scrub exfoliates and lifts dead skin cells without aggravating to reveal a smoother complexion.

11)Bioderma Hydrabio Moisturising Tonic Lotion, 250ml, $36.50 After cleansing, pat on this toning lotion to regain the skin’s suppleness and radiance.

13)Bioderma Hydrabio Moisturising Serum, 40ml, $45.90 Enriched with hyaluronic acid, this light concentrate stimulates the regeneration of skin cells.

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Hard Wear

Woven leather bracelet with silver dragon head, $679, by Thomas Sabo.

Mixed metal ring, $25, by Aldo.

Silver skull ring, $239, by Thomas Sabo.

Leather key ring with metal feather charms, $15, by 77th Street.

Leather and metal key ring, $12.90, by 77th Street.

Silver ring with black onyx, $146, by Carrie K from Front Row.

Silver chain ring, $115, by Agnès B.

Silver ring, $225, by Agnès B. Oxidised silver “Forget Me Not” ring, Silver chain ring with stones, $228, by Carrie K from Front Row. $489, by Thomas Sabo. 022

Oxidised silver chain ring, $25, by Aldo.

PHOTOGRAPHY: KELVIN CHIA; STYLING: CHERYL CHAN

No man is too tough for leather or metal.

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Leather and metal bicycle wallet chain, $29.90, by 77th Street.

Silver chain, $149, silver carrier, $59, and silver cross pendant, $259, all by Thomas Sabo.

Silver dog tags, $145, by Agnès B.

Leather cuff with ball bearings, price unavailable, by Dark Leather/9436-0616.

Braided leather bracelet, $398, by Carrie K from Front Row.

Studded bangle, $479, by Thomas Sabo.

Chain bracelet, $145, by Agnès B.

Metal bangle, $145, by Agnès B.

Metal chain bracelet, $1,398, by Thomas Sabo.

Metal bangle with spike ends, $16.90, by 77th Street.

Studded cuff, $32.90, by 77th Street.

Leather and spike cuff, price unavailable, by Dark Leather.

Chain bracelet, $29.90, by 77th Street. 02/13

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EDITOR’S PICK

A diffusion line of the luxe sportswear label, Lacoste L!ve is reflective of the brand’s crisp and sporty aesthetic, but updated with slimmer cuts and fashioncentric elements, like prints and denim. The summer collection is a study in nostalgia and takes us back to the ’90s with rolled-up trousers, colourful windbreakers and tie-dye. Preppy with attitude, it’s an unexpected and refreshing fusion of old-school style and street culture.

From Lacoste L!ve boutiques at Cathay Cineleisure Orchard and Ion Orchard.

Pumped-up Kicks P

These sterling silver snake cufflinks from Shanghai Tang are classy and intricately detailed, offering a refreshing alternative from regular designs without being too over the top. They also make you look like a triad boss, which can’t be a bad thing.

$1,335, from Shanghai Tang boutiques at Raffles City and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands. 024

$115, from New Balance concept stores.

WORDS: JANINE LEE

Snake C Charmer h harmer

In Inspired by the iconic track gear o of the ’90s, the Windbreaker 574 p pack from New Balance takes w what we love about the dynamic d design of the retro jacket, and translates it into a shoe. Available in four highly saturated colour ways, it also features nylon uppers and a sleek, athletic structure. The only thing missing now is an awesome “whooshing” sound as you zip down the streets in these.

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Walk On By Whether you dress it up or down, loafers like these ones from Canali are more versatile than you’d expect. You can wear them without socks with your berms and a polo shirt. Or you can put on a pair of jeans and blazer for a more formal look. It’s really a shoe that’s great for any occasion.

A Good Fit The key to fuss-free travel is packing light, and you certainly won’t be able to achieve that if you’re lugging around a massive suitcase for a two-night getaway. Here’s where the Bleecker line of weekender bags from Coach comes in. With a combination of style and functionality, they’re so roomy you can throw in all your essentials, have space for your girlfriend’s third pair of heels, and still make it look like you’ve got your packing under control.

From Canali boutiques at Paragon and Resorts World Sentosa.

From $1,195 to $1,575, at Coach boutiques.

Industrial Strength If you’re into utilitarian casual wear that’s got some spunk, American workwear label Carhartt WIP hits all the right notes. From grungy T-shirts, to metal-riveted pants and duo-coloured shirts, the brand’s first store in South-east Asia carries an extensive range of cool apparel that are designed to last. The pieces lend some edge to an outfit that might otherwise be boringly basic and shows effort, without looking like you’ve tried too hard.

Carhartt WIP boutique is at Plaza Singapura.

For Her Scarlet Letter

The Establishment Paying homage to our nation’s men in white, the PAPA shirt by &Larry and WanderWonder is a satirical yet stylishly modern take on the prim white attire of our ruling party. Immaculately tailored, the shirt includes a unique curved bottom hem and cut-outs at the sleeve for flexibility, rounded off with a handfinished lightning bolt appliqué beneath the chest pocket. An extremely versatile piece, it’s made to accommodate all manner of activities, from tree planting to neighbourhood walkabouts.

$189, from WanderWonder at 65A Haji Lane.

With both Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day around the corner, make your ladylove doubly happy with Triumph’s Red Sensation line. Featuring a fiery crimson range of figure-enhancing corsets and cleavage-friendly bras fitted with water cushions for extra lift, this gift will be as much for her as it is for you.

Bras from $89.90, and briefs from $29.90, at Triumph boutiques and major department stores. 02/13

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How does my

HERON! I OPIN

look? (She’ll let you know…)

CHERYL, 25

ANNA, 22

TYARA, 23

STEPH, 25

CHUN, 26

HELENA, 25

YOKO, 24

TRISTAL, 19

“It really depends on the rest of his outfit. If he’s wearing many statement pieces, then it would be over the top. If it’s pared down, then it’s fine.”

“It’s okay if it’s worn outdoors, but it really shouldn’t be on his head if he’s going anywhere indoors. Same as wearing shades indoors.”

Does it add swagger or just look like you’re trying too hard? We hit the streets to find out what these girls really think…

“Pizzazz. It sort of reminds me of the 1980s and the era of Broadway jazz. Showy and flashy but, overall, it’ll look good if the outfit is good.”

“It reminds of the movie, The Brothers Bloom. Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo looked ravishing in their headpieces, even if they weren’t exactly fedoras.” 026

“I don’t think most Singaporean men can pull it off. Actually, I don’t think it suits Asian guys in general.”

“It’s okay, but I think it takes guts for anyone to wear a fedora in Singapore. Plus, with the weather, doesn’t it get really hot?”

“I think it’s sexy and daring because they actually dare to wear it in the first place. It isn’t easy to pull it off.”

INTERVIEW & PHOTOGRAPHY: MITCHELL PEREIRA; MODEL PHOTO: EALBERT HO.

“It seems that most guys who don fedoras appear to have a keener appreciation for fashion.”

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VOL 15 ON SALE NOW! SPECIAL COLLECTOR’S EDITION

N OT S U I TA B LE F O R TH E YO U N G

THE GIRLS OF $9.80

STUNNING WOMEN, VERY FEW WORDS

ries. to s o N . s e r tu a fe o N . No reviews. s d r o w w fe y r e v , n Just stunning wome

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Pump up your street cred with looks spawned from some of the most influential music of our time. Words: Janine Lee Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Joel Low Styling: Sharon B Tan

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FA S H I O N

PUNK ROCK More than just music, the punk philosophy revolving around anarchy and rebellion is a way of life that extends even to clothing. The look varies but typically consists of ripped jeans, combat boots, spikes, leather and a whole lot of attitude to match. As a rule of thumb, the more controversial the look, the better. Listens to: Sex Pistols, The Clash, Black Flag. Leather jacket and shoes, both by Dr Martens. T-shirt, by Depression. Jeans, by Fred Perry. Charm necklace, leather bracelet and rings, all by Thomas Sabo. Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Sek using L’Oréal Professionnel; Makeup: Ronalou Lau/Ronaloulau. com; Model: Timofey/Ave.

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MODS Responsible for tidying up men’s fashion, the rise of mod in the late 1950s created a more sophisticated look that included tailored suits, button-down shirts, skinny ties and close-cut trenchcoats. Mod style is almost fanatically sleek, characterised by straight lines and immaculate silhouettes. Listens to: The Beatles, The Who, The Rolling Stones. Wool coat, by Fred Perry. Collared shirt, by Christophe Lemaire from Front Row. Pants, by Band of Outsiders from Surrender. Tie, by Thom Browne from Surrender. Leather belt, by CK Jeans. Shoes, by Maison Martin Margiela from Surrender.

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FA S H I O N

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FA S H I O N

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GREASERS Popularised by Rebel Without A Cause icon James Dean, greasers typically donned leather jackets thrown over black or white T-shirts, cuffed jeans paired with creepers, and topped off with slicked-back pompadour. Owning a hot rod or classic scrambler is not mandatory, but highly recommended. Listens to: Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash. Leather jacket and shoes, both by Dr Martens. T-shirt and jeans, both by CK Jeans. Sunglasses, by Dunhill. Leather belt, by Fred Perry. Triumph Scrambler bike, from Mah Pte Ltd.

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GRUNGE Originating from Seattle in the 1970s, the look is characterised by cheap yet durable clothing like thriftstore jeans, worn-out sneakers and loads of flannel. It’s deliberately unkempt and ironically says, “I care enough to make it look like I don’t care at all.” Listens to: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden. Cardigan, by Fred Perry. Flannel shirt, by Dr Martens. Low-rise jeans and leather belt, both by CK Jeans. Sneakers, by Converse.

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FA S H I O N

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FA S H I O N

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METALHEADS Embracing everything the genre stands for, metal fans have adopted a culture of anti-commercialism that includes not giving a toss about fashion. Metal gigs consist of fans dressed in black band tees with black boots and leather accessories in, you guessed it, black — probably a reflection of the colour of their souls. Listens to: Iron Maiden, Metallica, Megadeth. Jeans, by A.P.C. Leather bracelets and leather chain, both by Pescados. Chain bracelets, by Thomas Sabo. Shoes, by Dr Martens. T-shirt, stylist’s own.

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Love Tock

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You keep the peace in the relationship. Victorinox Swiss Army Infantry Vintage, $1,129, from All Watches at Wisma Atria and BHG Bugis Junction, Aptimos at Lucky Plaza and Eastern Watch at 313@somerset.

Tanned anned and sporty — her kind of guy, guy your kind of watch. Gc-1, $928, from Gc boutique at Marina Square.

Sail the Seven Seas with her. Nautica NST Ceramic, $799, from Nautica boutiques.

Your feelings for her only get stronger with time. Nixon Slow Burn (The 51-30 Tide), $729, from Nixon at Ion Orchard, Tangs, and Robinsons The Centrepoint and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands.

Classy and understated… Like how she wants you to be. CK Calvin Klein Surround, $440, from Tangs, Robinsons The Centrepoint, Raffles City and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands.

Let her put a splash of colour on your manly wrist. Reactor Atom, $418, from Reactor boutique at Plaza Singapura.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Be upfront with her when it comes to your Valentine’s Day gift wish.

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OR’S EDITOICE CH

Tell her the sun-and-moon phase reminds you of her day and night. Arbutus Perception AR304 BB, $401, from Tangs, Robinsons The Centrepoint, OG Orchard Point and Mustafa.

Both of you share the same extreme personality. Casio G-Shock Burton Snowboards Limited Edition, $239, from Casio G-Factory outlets.

She likes it as big as this cat’s 50mm case. Puma Time Ultrasize, $155 to $168, from Metro City Square, OG Orchard Point, Robinsons The Centrepoint, Tangs VivoCity, selected City Chain and Puma stores.

Finish the race together — with a builtin hydration alarm. Soleus Ultra Sole watch, $127, from Mustafa, OG Orchard Point, Tangs VivoCity, World Of Sports and The American Club.

You’re lovers of the great outdoors. Timberland Watches Belknap, $229, from Chronobreeze outlets.

She loves that you’re as complex as this watch. Mykonos Design Visus White, $89, from plus.carpalwatch.com.

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Hot Metal The most desirable gifts to reward yourself with this month.

Dream Vision Inti 1+

Sony Xperia Tablet S

Why’s it good? Designed to have you holding it for a long time: Splash proof, ergonomically curved with improved grip for one-handed carrying; and built with a universal remotel — so you can control your home-entertainment system without putting the tablet down. Smart move. Gimme: $749 (without operator contract); Sony stores and authorised retailers.

Why’s it good? Bring the cinema to your home with this full-HD 3D projector. It’s named after the ancient Incan sun god, so expect things to be really bright — up to 1,300 Ansi lumens in normal mode (ideal for wider screens and brightness-demanding 3D technology). And with a souped-up contrast ratio of 50,000:1, clarity and detail are unrivalled. Gimme: $13,600; Clarity AV at Adelphi.

Canon EOS 6D

Why’s it good? With a 680g body, it’s the world's lightest digital single-lens reflex (DSLR) camera. But that’s not its only attraction; the digital powerhouse is equipped with a 20.2-megapixel 35mm full-frame CMOS sensor, plus Wi-Fi and GPS support. Gimme: From $2,899; authorised retailers.

Nokia Lumia 920

Why’s it good? Wireless charging, Windows Phone 8 OS, PureView camera technology with Optical Image Stabilisation and Carl Zeiss optics; world’s most sensitive touchscreen and more. Will Lumia 920 mark the long-awaited comeback of Nokia? You betcha. Gimme: $899 (without operator contract); Nokia stores.

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Bose Solo TV Sound System

Why’s it good? It’s a no-frills single speaker that doesn’t compromise on audio output or design. Just plug the sound bar to a TV and wall socket, and press play. Best used with 42-inchand-below TVs. Gimme: $649; Atlas Experience Audio Visual Boutique at TripleOne Somerset or Bose@Millenia Walk.

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Tech in a Flash

DS SOUNAT GRE

Denon Globe Cruiser

Why’s it good? Audio specialist Denon’s luxury headphones pamper users with “exceptional” noise cancelling, superior audio quality and Bluetooth 3.0 wireless connectivity. Designed for travellers, it also comes with cable and airline adapter for in-flight use. Gimme: $699; authorised retailers.

Philips AquaTouch

It’s electric, and offers a close, effortless shave in both wet and dry conditions. $79 to $179; authorised retailers.

Buffalo Reversi-hub

Lets you plug your USB device right side up or upside down. $19.90; Courts and Challenger.

Klipsch Image A5i Sport Earphones

Why’s it good? Sweat it out with Rihanna egging you on. This active-lifestyle earphones features Kevlar-armoured cables for durability; flexi-wire design for secure fit; and Klipsch’s signature oval-ear tips for in-ear comfort. And let’s not forget its audio quality, too. Gimme: $229; authorised retailers.

Crizal UV Lens

Offers both front and back UV protection — a first in the market. Price varies; authorised optical stores.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN.

Lenovo IdeaPad Y400

Why’s it good? There‘s still plenty of “Oomph!” in laptops. The Y400 comes with JBL speakers, Dolby Home Theatre 4 and UltraBay (in an interchangeable bay that users can instantly swap out for dual graphics capability, increased storage space or additional cooling fan). Powerwise, it’s supported by the latest Intel Core i7-3630QM processors, Nvidia GeForce GT650M 2GB dual graphics, 8GB DDR3 memory and 1TB HDD storage. Gimme: From $1,699; authorised retailers.

Logitech Washable Keyboard K310

Submersible in water (up to 27.9cm), so you can rough it out… In front of your PC. $59; authorised retailers.

Pioneer HDJ-2000-W Headphones

This pair of white cans look as good as they sound. $449; authorised retailers.

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Flash and Protect Guard your iPhone 5 with these snazzy cases.

Klipsch Nike iPhone Case $39.90; authorised retailers.

Speck CandyShell $45; Apple Premium Resellers including EpiCentre, Infinite, A Mobile and Challenger. 042

Shanghai Tang Star Leather Case $65; Shanghai Tang boutiques

Cygnett Vector TPU Case $29.90; Challenger, Gadget World, EpiLife, Juzz1, iStudio and EpiCentre.

Case-Mate Tough Xtreme $69.90; Challenger, EpiCentre, EpiLife, iStudio, Tech@Vogue, and other authorised retailers.

Lab C Smart Wallet Case $69; Apple Premium Resellers including EpiCentre, Infinite, A Mobile and Challenger.

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Case by Case

We didn’t forget your iPad…

Belkin Camo Cover with Stand (iPad mini)

$59; Challenger at Funan DigitaLife Mall.

Targus Slider Case $39; Challenger, Courts, EpiCentre, Harvey Norman and other authorised retailers.

Marvel 3D Case $24.90; gemworks.com

Targus Kickstand Protective Case and Stand (iPad mini) $49; Challenger, Courts, EpiCentre, Harvey Norman, Popular Bookstores, Micro Interface@Funan and other authorised retailers.

Cygnett Workmate (iPad mini)

$79; Nubox, Elush, Juzz1, Epicentre, Challenger and A-Mobile.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN.

ER-, WAT NOW-, S DIRT SHOCKAND OOF! PR

SwitchEasy Tones $35; Apple Premium Resellers including EpiCentre, Infinite, A Mobile and Challenger.

Hex Solo Wallet $49; Apple Premium Resellers including EpiCentre, Infinite, A Mobile and Challenger.

LifeProof nüüd Case (iPad) $159; authorised retailers.

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Cotton bra and panties, both by Skyla. Patent leather wedges (worn throughout), by Aldo. All handmade leather pieces, by Dark Leather from Victor/9436-0616. Stockings, stylist’s own. Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Alicia Tey/Mosche Hair Salon using Redken; Makeup: Shaun Lee/9695-2581 using M.A.C; Location: W Singapore, Sentosa Cove.

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ntelligent and smoothly articulate, Magic Babe Ning exudes a confident and calm persona albeit in a tough-leather exterior. Make no mistake, this girl could chew your head off and spit it out if she felt you meant harm. With an airtight partnership with illusionist JC Sum and a crazy fetish for all things dangerous, the award-winning Fly Entertainment creative artiste has taken her

performances to dizzyingly new heights across Europe and the Asia Pacific. Ning is probably one that none of us would be able to tie down seeing that she escaped from, not one but two strait-jackets in one of her jaw-dropping acts (she did all this while attached to a burning

rope, 35 feet in the air). So, we were delighted that she accepted FHM’s invitation for a second cover shoot, without us having to resort to bondage…

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MAG IC BAB E N I NG

U s e Yo u r Illusion Cunningly alluring, Magic Babe Ning is Singapore’s own magical femme fatale. Words: Mitchell Pereira Art direction: Tony Law Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

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MAG IC BAB E N I NG

Lace balconette bra, by Valisere, from Triumph. Lace panties, by Chalone. Stockings, stylist’s own.

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“My corsets are mainly for work but truth is, I’ve actually used them for private per formances before.”

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MAG IC BAB E N I NG

“Never ever, ever, show me a magic trick if you want to impress me.”

Lace bra, panties and garter, all by Valisere, from Triumph. Stockings, stylist’s own.

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The world of magic has always been an exclusive club for men but you’ve broken barriers. You’re not the submissive kind are you? Seriously, do I look like the submissive type? Magic has been male-dominated for far too long. I have assets…skills, thank you… that the boys don’t have and that's helped me make my mark on the international scene. It’s just too bad if a confident woman intimidates some of the boys in the magic scene who’ve never faced female competition. They can bitch, whine and make up juicy gossip about me but, ultimately, it’s the quality of my

work that shines through any crap these insecure little boys try to hurl. You’re known for daring escape manoeuvres. Have you put those skills to the test on a date before? Frankly, I’ve only had to make a quick escape once or twice. With a crazy schedule, zipping in and out of the country for work every other week, I’m very picky about who I choose to spend precious time with. So most dates have gone on well. Does a man need to share the same passion as you? Not necessarily, but he must understand why I do what I do and appreciate my passion to a certain degree. But if he does share my love for dangerous, beautiful things, even better. Does anything still get your adrenaline pumping? Every dangerous new stunt I do get my juices going. In my last high-profile feat, I escaped from two strait-jackets while suspended upside down, 35 feet in the air, by a crane — from a burning rope. It was a windy day so the rope burnt fast and there was a lot of sway. My heart continued pumping hard and fast during the press conference after, though I’d successfully made the escape. For more normal things, skydiving is pretty awesome and roller-coasters (like the monster rides in US) get me going, too. We take it that cute rabbits and silk handkerchiefs won’t cut it as an ideal

Valentine’s Day gift. What would you rather receive? I'm a simple, complicated woman. A beautiful but functional Laguiole (folding knife) or sexy katana to add to my collection will get me purring. Do you magically make unwanted gifts vanish? I wasn’t raised a spoilt princess. I always appreciate the thought, so I'm never ungrateful. Do you have a wardrobe of corsets in your closet? Different closets for different purposes… So yes, I’ve quite a few corsets in leather, satin, PVC, wet-look latex, the works. Corsets make a woman feel so sexy and they’re easy to wear, hidden under your clothes, when you’re out doing mundane things on any given day. Are those corsets strictly for performances only? My corsets are mainly for work but truth is, I’ve actually used them for…mmm…private performances before. How hard do you push yourself to wow audience? As a professional, I’m always looking for new illusions, stunts and unique ways to present my magic and escape acts. I always believe variety is the spice of life. Right now, JC and I are working on a new illusion that will take two years to complete, from concept to stage. It will be completely different from anything we've performed before — a theatrical illusion with multiple effects and a story to tie everything together. As somebody whose job is to impress, does that make

it ridiculously difficult to impress you? Probably. Golden rule: Never ever, ever, show me a magic trick. Have you used magic to capture a guy’s attention? Do you think I need to resort to magic to capture someone’s eye? You spend a lot of time on the road with JC. Will you be spending Valentine’s day together? Yes, we will be on a luxury cruise together. Sounds romantic? Far from it — my stage partner and I are working as headline artists for the main theatre on a four-monthlong gig. There isn’t much room for error in death-defying acts. Is there room for error when it comes to love? Room for error comes from the tolerance, patience and understanding that two people have for each other. Without these qualities in a relationship, even the tiniest error can have disastrous results. But! Even with these qualities, and the fact that we’re only human, you can’t take the relationship or person for granted. What are your other passions other than magic? Life is an adventure I’m passionate about because it’s important to live life to the fullest and not just go through the motions. I love to travel, enjoy writing (Adventures of 2 Girls), as well as MMA and kapap; they get my juices flowing especially when I’ve given all I have and I’m flat on my back in the dojo. What would it take for you to break the magician’s code? Not a million dollars like the masked magician on TV. Then again, everyone has a price. Mine is not money. You want to know what it is? Have fun trying to break the Magic Babe Code. FHM 02/13

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(And some current ones...) Think your former partner was difficult? You might want to count your blessings after checking out this bunch.

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emember that girlfriend you couldn’t stand because she called you thrice a day, insisted you spend more time with her, and whined whenever you went out with your buddies? After reviewing the cheating, bad-mouthing and violent ways of the following exes, overly attached girlfriends are starting to

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look pretty good. We’re talking restraining orders, highly publicised sex scandals, damages in the millions of dollars and even some good ol’ fashioned car-egging. Given the insane things people have done in the name of love turned sour, we’re seriously considering remaining single this Valentine’s Day…

PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICKPHOTOS

Words: Janine Lee

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WORST EXE S

1

JOHN MAYER THE LOOSE CANNON

Possibly the most infamous perpetrator of “kiss and tell” in the past decade, having Mayer as an ex is embarrassing business. Aside from comparing Jessica Simpson to a chemical weapon (“sexual napalm”) in an interview, the loose-lipped musician has also been quoted saying that Jennifer Aniston “wishes it was still 1998”. While it might be satisfying to hear from an ex that sleeping with you was “explosive” and “addictive”, it’s not so cool to hear it at the same time as the rest of the world.

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KRISTEN STEWART THE NONCHALANT VAMP

2

TIGER WOODS THE GRAND SLAM

The news of his philandering ways made headlines literally everywhere in November 2009, following the car accident that let the cat out of the bag. So how many women exactly did Woods sleep with behind his wife’s back? Well, the numbers vary greatly with reports citing from 11 to a staggering 121. However you spin it, we’re betting it’s still more than your nympho ex-girlfriend.

As if being a constantly ridiculed “sparkly vampire” isn’t bad enough, Robert Pattinson will now also forever be remembered as the dude Kristen Stewart cheated on, in what was one of the most highly publicised celebrity affairs of 2012. The actress was photographed enthusiastically exploring married director Rupert Sander’s mouth last year, and she gets extra points for not even bothering to be discreet about it. She could have at least shown her Twilight co-star (who is rumoured to have become something of an alcoholic, thanks to the affair) some respect by not doing it out in public. After all, it’s not like he gets much from the rest of the world.

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TAYLOR SWIFT THE BLUES SINGER

Almost every boyfriend she’s had has been immortalised in song for posterity. And given that the perpetually heartbroken singer has dated just about half of Hollywood, with each relationship having the average lifespan of yoghurt left out in the sun, that’s a lot of songs about issues we really don’t care about. And while it might be flattering if Swift only had nice things to say, she pretty much just publicly shames her exes while milking millions of dollars from it. A song or two is forgivable, but when an entire album is based on failed relationships and about being ignored, wronged or slighted by a guy? On behalf of mankind, we’d like to ask: Seriously, Swift, does nothing else interesting ever happen to you?

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WORST EXE S

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CHARLIE SHEEN THE BAD-MOUTHER

There’s nothing on the face of this Earth that’s quite as scary, crazy, or baffling as a postmeltdown, drug-addled Charlie Sheen verbal attack. The actor, who suffered explosive meltdowns over the years and has a penchant for picking up prostitutes, has made some of the rudest public remarks about his exes the world has ever seen. This includes accusing ex-wife Denise Richards of being a loser, terrible mother and wishing her a slow death, as well as leading the audience during his stand-up comedy tour in a chant of “f*** that b****” against her. Here’s a lesson we can all learn from Mr Sheen: Stay the heck away from cocaine.

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NAYA RIVERA THE SCARY B***H

She plays the prima-donna cheerleader Santana Lopez in TV show Glee, but who knew the persona would translate to Rivera’s real life? When she suspected that boyfriend and co-star Mark Salling was seeing other women, she allegedly keyed his Lexus and covered it with eggs, dog food and bird seed. While both actors denied the rumours, it didn’t help that Salling reportedly showed up at work the next day on his skateboard instead of his car.

8 EDISON CHEN THE DAFT VOYEUR

CHRIS BROWN THE NASTY BOY

Broach the topic of domestic assault anytime in the past three years and it would be sure to prompt a Chris Brown reference. Apart from punching, biting, strangling and smashing girlfriend Rihanna’s face against the car windscreen during an argument in 2009, the singer also threatened to kill her after she tried calling the cops. All he got for that was a slap on the wrist, community service and a restraining order. We’re not sure who has more issues, Brown for being a major tool, or Ri Ri for getting back with him after all that.

If you’ve never had pictures of your private bits and sexual endeavours unknowingly uploaded onto the Internet; then published on the cover of every tabloid in existence; then scrutinised and ridiculed by millions of people all over the world, then you have no idea how every woman who’s ever slept with Edison Chen feels. The best part is that the actor wasn’t even trying to exact any kind of revenge; the racy pictures were instead uploaded by a computer technician after Chen sent in his laptop for repair. We can’t even begin to broach the sheer stupidity of this one. Has he not heard of external hard disks? Suffice to say, if there’s anything worse than a vindictive ex, it’s probably a grossly negligent one.

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SATSUKI MITCHELL THE REAL MISS MONEYPENNY

James Bond is known for being the man who can escape unscathed from any sticky situation. But when Daniel Craig didn’t return home one night and was under suspicion of cheating on long-time girlfriend film producer Satsuki Mitchell, all the special-agent training in the world couldn’t have prepared him for what happened next. Mitchell went on an epic shopping spree with his credit cards — of which she had full permission to use — and racked up a staggering US$1 million in charges, proving once again that if you cross a woman, she will take it out on your bank account. We hope Craig at least managed to redeem a hotel stay with those rewards points.

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KIM KARDASHIAN THE GOSSIP GIRL

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MARK ZUCKERBERG THE ONE-UP GUY

It’s fine to break up with someone and find out in six months’ time that they’ve gone on to knock some under-aged girl and is spending the rest of their life as trailer trash. But having your ex go on to appear as Time magazine’s Person of the Year, Fortune magazine’s Best Young Businessmen in the World, and amass an estimated net worth of US$19.1 billion dollars, all because you dumped him? Not so easy to deal with. 054

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The great thing about getting out of a messy relationship and starting over with someone new is you get a clean slate and another shot at being the awesome guy you always knew you were. If you break up with Kim K, however, the upside is you got to tap that. The downside: Every flaw you’ve ever had and all your dirty little secrets will eventually be broadcast on her reality show watched by millions each week. Add to that, intense media scrutiny and your mug shot plastered on the cover of gossip magazines everywhere, and we’re willing to bet your next date will only come sometime in 2032.

WORST EXE S

REEL BAD LOVERS

On-screen exes we’re glad we never had.

BILL FROM KILL BILL Trying to break up with Bill can only be compared to going for a root-canal surgery without anaesthesia. Twelve times. For starters, he’d kill your current beau, then try to kill you — at your wedding. Failing, which, he’d abduct your kid and leave you unconscious in a hospital where the staff rent out your comatose body for sex. When you do wake up to track him down, you’d have to kill your baby’s daddy in order to get your kid back. Moral of the story: Never date anyone from a Tarantino movie.

in Chris Wilton’s case, it’s bad enough to warrant cold-blooded murder. To begin with, he's married but will relentlessly pursue you for an affair, then refuse to divorce his wife after you sleep with him and get pregnant. When he decides you've gotten too whiney, he will stage a robbery at your home, kill you and your unborn child with his father-in-law’s shotgun, and make it look like a drug-related theft. He then happily lives out the rest of his days with his rich wife and newborn son. Some bad people have all the luck.

LARRY GRAY FROM CLOSER

THE LEAGUE OF EVIL EXES FROM SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

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EMINEM THE BITTER MAN

He’s used his wretched relationship with his on-again-off-again high-school sweetheart as fodder for some of his greatest rhymes, killed her off in a song and assailed her with his lyrics, violently beat and kicked a blow-up doll in her likeness on stage during his concerts, and even tattooed a wish for her to die when they broke up again for the umpteenth time. Sure, his ex-wife might not have been a total angel herself, but bitter doesn’t even begin to cut it for this guy. FHM

As if one crazy ex isn’t enough, Ramona Flowers had to deal with seven — all united in their primary objective to massively cock-block anyone who even looks her way. And that means all future suitors would not only have to cope with endless comparison comments, but also battle and defeat the exes (who range from good-looking rock stars to ninjas with the ability to hurl fireballs) in order to go out with her. Good luck getting a date, Ramona.

CHRIS WILTON FROM MATCH POINT Breaking up with someone might not be the most fun thing in the world to do, but

Perhaps one of the most gloriously dismal showcases of crap human nature and promiscuity in modern cinema, no one in Closer seems to understand the concept of respect or behaves with any kind of class. Dermatologist Larry Gray’s refusal to sign divorce papers unless his cheating wife Anna sleeps with him on his examination table, however, is some next-level douchery.

ZAPP BRANNIGAN FROM FUTURAMA A one-night stand is meant to be a singular experience forgotten quickly and filed under “Mistake you were never supposed to make”. Sleeping with the narcissistic and infinitely awkward 25-star army general in Futurama’s world, however, is the mistake that keeps on giving. He will refuse to believe it’s over, sing nauseating karaoke in your honour, brag about his conquest and make entirely inappropriate lewd remarks about you to anyone who will listen — remaining a constant reminder of how pathetically low you sank that one time you gave him a pity lay.

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Words: Mitchell Pereira Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

L e t ’s G e t It On Heart to heart with Chinese model Chen Yu. Bet you didn’t think we could be romantic animals…

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ove is always in the air, but its PSI level becomes particularly dense — and mushy — on a specific day of the year. No prizes for guessing — Valentine’s Day. We invite one of our February feature girls, model Chen Yu, to let us in on her attitude towards this crazy little thing called love.

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CHEN YU

Satin bra and mesh panties, both by Cotton On Body. Satin polka-dot garter, by Skyla. Stockings, stylist’s own. Patent leather peeptoed pumps with bow, by Aldo. Lady Dita V armchair, Bespoke by Goodrich. Photography assistance: Alfie Pan & Yvonne Yau; Hair & Makeup; Sha Shamsi/9628-7035, using M.A.C and Bumble & Bumble Hair Products; Model: Chen Yu/Diva Models.

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What’s your earliest experience of love? My earliest experience of love was in senior high school; I was about 16 or 17 and he was my classmate. We studied together and went out. It was really boring, actually. We just went to the cinema and the KTV — KTVs were very popular in China. Is Valentine’s Day important to you? No, it isn’t. If you find the right guy, every day is Valentine’s Day. Do you have a date every Valentine’s Day? I’m single on most Valentine’s. Hopefully, this year it’ll be my first time celebrating the occasion with my boyfriend — I usually break up before Valentine’s and end up being alone. Tell us the best date you’ve ever been on. It was the first time I met my boyfriend. It was at a Halloween party; he was a friend of a mutual friend. The party was a photo shoot for a British magazine and he was the go-between for the photographers and models. He’s British but speaks Mandarin. I consider that a special day. Would you rather receive: Flowers or chocolate? I love chocolates! I love flowers but chocolates I can eat! Is there any place that you’ve been to that screams “Love”? The seaside! As long as we’re at the beach, it doesn’t matter if I’m in Singapore or China. Do you truly believe in love and Prince Charming? Yes, I do believe in love. I believe in the different kinds of love though.

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CHEN YU

Like the love between a man and a woman may evolve to a more mature love as trust and stability sets in. It changes even further when a family comes into the picture. But I don’t believe there’s just one person that’s right for me out there — so no Prince Charming. Would you be able to recognise love in just one date? I believe in attraction at first sight but we need to go on more dates to establish if we’re suitable for each other. What would your ideal man be like? The most important quality in life is honesty and responsibility. He has to be responsible for his work and life, not just for his girlfriend. But the big thing is honesty. What’s the best thing anyone has done for you? I love it when my boyfriend wakes me up to a breakfast he prepared especially for me. Breakfast in bed! Is it important for a man to put on a shirt for dinner? It depends but it doesn’t really matter. As long as he’s comfortable, I’m comfortable. He could be shirtless for all that matters. What would you say or do if a guy doesn’t pay for dinner? Or does it not matter in this day and age? I’m fine with splitting the bill. It just means we’re both equals and we both have a shared contribution. I’d be fine if I had to pay for the entire dinner, too, it means I can handle it; it’s a real sense of empowerment. [Flexes] If you were a guy for a day and you were going to take Chen Yu out for a Valentine’s Day date, what would happen? I wouldn’t tell her that we’re going anywhere, but instead wake her up in the morning and tell her we’re heading to the airport to catch our plane to a distant romantic island. A surprise getaway! FHM

“I love it when my boy friend wakes me up to a break fast he prepared especially for me.”

Tuxedo corset with matching garter, both by La Senza. Cotton and lace thong, by Skyla. Stockings, stylist’s own. Opposite: Silk satin bra with ruching and silk satin panties, both by Chalone. Lace garter, by Skyla. Patent leather peep-toed pumps, by Aldo. Stockings, stylist’s own.

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CHEN YU Lycra houndstooth bra and panties, both by La Senza. Patent leather and Perspex pumps, by Aldo. Fishnet stockings, stylist’s own.

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“I don’t believe there’s just one person that ’s right for me out there.”

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HOT, WILD DANGEROUS LIKE EVERY GOOD BOND GIRL, THEY’LL KNIFE YOU IN THE BACK WHILE SNOGGING YOU FACE TO FACE — THEY’RE MOVIEDOM’S FITTEST FEMMES FATALE! Words: Ben Arnold

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H O T, W I L D & D A N G E R O U S

TBI-CURIOUS GRIFTERS

KELLY VAN RYAN & SUZIE TOLLER (DENISE RICHARDS & NEVE CAMPBELL) WILD THINGS, 1998

How bad is she? Look past the s**t pun that makes up her name (Onatopp!!! Like in sex!!!) and she’s bad to the bone. Or, more pertinently, bad to the boner. Sexiest moment? The sauna scene, when she’s battering Pierce Brosnan’s Bond and really quite enjoying herself. Awesomely, the encounter culminates in Bond’s request, “No more foreplay. Take me to Janus!” — which is just one solitary letter away from proper filth. Classic quote: “Once again, the pleasure was all yours.”

THE TROPHY WIFE THE BOSS’S WIFE

MIA WALLACE Who are they? Schoolies Suzie and Kelly are after cold, hard cash. They join forces with sleazy guidance counsellor Matt Dillon in order to get it. How bad were they? Deceitful, manipulative, homicidal, fit — they had it all, in spades. You couldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them, but you’d trade it all in to watch them have a lingering snog. Sexiest moment: The pair’s steamy clinch in the pool, which began, as all the best lesbian clinches do, with a fake tussle culminating in heavy petting. Classic quote: “So, where’s your hose, Mr Lombardo?”

THE VIOLENT FEMME

XENIA ONATOPP

(FAMKE JANSSEN) GOLDENEYE , 1995

Who is she? Xenia’s a rogue KGB agent who achieves orgasm upon murdering sex partners, like some giant, fit, tits-out praying mantis. She sexes people to death, basically.

(UMA THURMAN) PULP FICTION , 1994

BUNNY LEBOWSKI

(TARA REID) THE BIG LEBOWSKI , 1998 Who is she? Porn star and trophy wife Bunny can’t blow on her own toes, but luckily she’s available to blow anything else that may be in close proximity.

How bad is she? She gets loveably lazy super-stoner The Dude into quite the predicament, when all he really wants to do is go bowling. So pretty bad, then. Sexiest moment: She extends The Dude an offer he can neither refuse nor afford. Classic quote: “I’ll suck your c**k for a thousand dollars. Brandt can’t watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.”

THE MURDERER’S MOLL Classic quote: “Let’s go out

MALLORY KNOX

(JULIETTE LEWIS) NATURAL BORN KILLERS , 1994 Who is she? The missus of Marsellus and former Fox Force Five member Mia Wallace is spoken of in hushed tones after a portly Samoan is launched from a fourthstorey window for allegedly giving her a foot rub. How bad is she? A ruddy nightmare. The kind of girl who’s so bent on getting you into trouble, she’s even willing to risk death by hooning a big bag of your best drugs and promptly OD-ing as a result. Sexiest moment: Her smouldering wig-out when she takes to the dance floor at Jack Rabbit Slims for the twist contest with her chaperone, the lovestruck Vincent Vega (John Travolta). Classic quote: “I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.”

there and run down the stairs, and go out in a hail of bullets. And then we’ll die! And then we’ll really be free…”

THE SATANIC SIREN

SANTÁNICO PANDEMÓNIUM (SALMA HAYEK) FROM DUSK TILL DAWN , 1996

Who is she? As sprees go, there’s none more murder-ey than that of Mallory, one half of Natural Born Killers’ serial-killing couple. Even her hair is merciless. How bad is she? If you could emerge from the relationship having not been brutally murdered, you’d be doing better than most. Sexiest moment: Natural Born Killers’ opening scene, in which Mallory dances in her bikini to a jukebox in a diner, just before embarking on a lustful orgy of bone-shattering, redneck-pulverising violence. The mad bastard.

Who is she? Pandemónium is a stripper at charming, off-thebeaten-track Mexican flesh bar, The Titty Twister. She enjoys gyrating in a highly suggestive manner for booze-soaked truckers and bikers, with an eight-foot snake around her neck and flames belching forth all around her. Not really the takehome-to-meet-mum type. 02/13

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THE BOLSHY BALLERINA

LILY

(MILA KUNIS) BLACK SWAN , 2010

PHOTOS:TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES.

Who is she? She’s the rival ballet dancer threatening the supremacy of the frigid teacher’s pet, Natalie Portman’s Nina. How bad is she? We may never know. Was her blazing-hot badness all in Nina’s imagination…? Sexiest moment: How could it be anything other than when she spikes Nina with ecstasy before going down on her? It is perhaps the best thing to have ever happened, certainly in the history of ballet films, but also possibly in the history of everything. Classic quote: “Wait… Did you have some sort of lezzy wet dream about me? Oh my God? Oh my God! You did! You fantasised about me!”

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How bad is she? Things degenerate pretty quickly when she transforms into a blood-drinking, flesh-chewing creature of the night. And not in a good, Angelina Jolietype of way either. Sexiest moment: That would be her table dance for Quentin Tarantino’s pervy paedo Richie Gecko. Cheap tequila has never looked more tempting than when it’s being poured down Pandemónium’s dangerously shapely leg. Classic quote: It’s essentially a silent role but we can’t help feeling that her eyes are imploring us to peel off her python and rub her head-to-toe with whipped cream. Perhaps that’s just us, though.

THE QUEEN BITCH

KATHRYN MERTEUIL

(SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR) CRUEL INTENTIONS , 1999

Who is she? The fiendishly manipulative Kathryn embroils herself in an insanely convoluted web of seduction, for a laugh. She even has an evil, cackling pantomime villain-style laugh. How bad is she? Bitchy rather than deadly, Kathryn might be tame when compared to some of the other homicidally inclined ladies here, but when she offers a semiincesty bunk-up to her stepbrother, she gives things a certain sleazy edge. Sexiest moment: That snog with Selma Blair in the park, prolonged by an un-scriptable single thread of “connection” that stretches between them. Goodness gracious. Classic quote: “She’s quite cute, you know? Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass… Uncharted pooty… Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.”

THE HONEY TRAP

LYNN BRACKEN

(KIM BASINGER) LA CONFIDENTIAL , 1997

Who is she? Lynn’s the moviestar look-alike hooker with a heart of gold, but she’s fallen in with a dirty crowd, damnit. How bad is she? Yes, she falls for the wrong guys and leaves a trail of stamped-on hearts wherever she goes, but she can’t really help herself, poor sod. Sexiest moment: Lynn’s aggressive seduction of by-thebook cop Edward Exley understandably leaves his nerdy glasses all steamed up. Exley tries to play it cool, but soon enough he’s like a grubby teenager who’s about to get fingers-and-tops round the back of the school disco. Classic quote: “I see Bud because he treats me like Lynn Bracken and not some Veronica Lake look-alike who f**ks for money.”

THE CARTOON TEMPTRESS

JESSICA RABBIT

(KATHLEEN TURNER) WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT , 1988

THE CAREER WOMAN

SUZANNE STONE MARETTO

(NICOLE KIDMAN) TO DIE FOR , 1995 Who is she? Kidman has never been hotter than as ruthless, career-obsessed Suzanne Stone, who marries Matt Dillon’s modest money to

How bad is she? Less so in the film, more so in Gary K Wolf’s original book, in which she’s an utterly amoral social climber. She is, of course, a suspect in framing her husband Roger, and carries a bear trap in her bra. Sexiest moment: Jessica’s smouldering rendition of Peggy Lee’s Why Don’t You Do Right? at the Ink and Paint Club gave us a funny feeling down south. Classic quote: “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”

THE ICE-PICK PRINCESS

CATHERINE TRAMELL

(SHARON STONE) BASIC INSTINCT , 1992 Who is she? The vampish, buxom wife of the titular bunny. There’s been a dearth of sexy showgirls in children’s animated fare for ages now. Fingers crossed for a methaddled, white-trash Barbie hooker or something equally inappropriate in Toy Story 4.

further her dream of becoming a TV anchorwoman. How bad is she? Her scheme to dispatch her mild-mannered husband because he wants her to have kids is reasonably deplorable. Sexiest moment: Suzanne’s knicker-flashing dance in the car headlights is forever burned into our trouser brains. Classic quote: “You aren’t really anybody in America if you’re not on TV.”

Who is she? Bi-sexy crime novelist Catherine Tramell leaves a trail of clue crumbs when she writes about a gory murder involving an ice pick, right around the time a gory murder involving an ice pick occurs. Is Catherine’s writing career merely a smokescreen for her bloodthirsty ways? (Spoiler: Yeah.) How bad is she? Super-bad. As enormously enjoyable as some vigorous sexytime with Catherine would undoubtedly be, your postcoital pillow talk would inevitably be marred by your own nagging, anxious thoughts: “Did Catherine enjoy that? Did I finish too quickly? Is she going to cave my f**king face and brains in with an ice pick?” It’s simply not ideal. Sexiest moment: The moment when Catherine flashes her shorn foo-foo at a room full of sweaty policemen has, for better or worse, become one of the most memorable scenes in cinema. Classic quote: “Have you ever f**ked on cocaine, Nick? It’s nice.” 02/13

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O-REN ISHII (LUCY LIU) KILL BILL VOL. 1 , 2003

Who is she? A former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, O-Ren Ishii is the fittest girl you could ever hope to be brutally murdered by. How bad is she? Bad to the splintering bone. Beheadings

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ain’t a thang for O-Ren — she’s as “fatale” as femmes come. Sexiest moment: Hmm. That very much depends on your definition of “sexy”. But if fierce, slicing-anddicing swordplay is your “thing” in the bedroom — and the almighty one help you if it is — then she’s eroticism personified. Classic quote: “I collect your f**king head. Just like this f**ker here. Now, if any of you sons of b***hes got anything else to say, now’s the f**king time!”

PHOTOS:TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES.

THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC

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H O T, W I L D & D A N G E R O U S

THE HENCHWOMAN

MAY DAY

(GRACE JONES) A VIEW TO A KILL , 1985

IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND SECRETLYA MURDEROUSFEMME FATALE? CAN YOU TICK MORE THAN FIVE OF THESE BOXES? YES? THEN CHANCES ARE, YOUR MISSUS IS TRYING TO DUFF YOU IN. AWKWARD!

Who is she? She’s the villainous Max Zorin’s “personal assistant”, a figure striking enough to make Roger Moore’s eyebrow raise itself so vigorously that it appears to be trying to escape from his face. The startled eyebrow remains cocked and askew for pretty much the rest of the film, poor thing. How bad is she? Well, she could easily batter the life out of you, so you’d better do as she effing well says. And even then, she might just batter the life out of you anyway. For s**ts and giggles. Sexiest moment: When she discards her chunky dressing gown and aggressively mounts Bond, who’s secretly ensconced himself in her boudoir. If he wasn’t such a randy beggar, it’d be a wee bit unsavoury. Classic quote: As Bond himself says: “I see you’re a woman of very few words.” She speaks, instead, with her vagina. Not literally. That would be terrifying. FHM

SO WHO DID WE MISS? Which classic characters are glaringly absent from our list of stabby/shooty/strangle-y lovelies? Tell us who should’ve made the cut via letters@fhm. com. Best entry wins a poisonlipstick kiss from a 2.4m-tall Ukrainian she-assassin.

01 Whenever you and your girlfriend share a bottle of wine, does she frantically swap the glasses around before you drink?

12 When you both went paintballing that time, did she “accidentally” blind someone on the opposition team with her bare hands?

02 Is she freakishly good at tying complicated knots?

13 Have you had five or more brakesrelated accidents while borrowing her car?

03 Look at the “Places” bit on her iPhone. Are there several pin-drops on the Thailand-Myanmar border, Colombia, Russia and Macau? 04 Does she regularly asphyxiate you to the point of unconsciousness during sex, using a length of electrical cord, with a manic look on her face? 05 Does she own several incredibly realistic wigs? 06 When you go on holiday, does she exit the airport through a rooftop fire escape, rather than via the traditional customs route? 07 Does her recent Google search history include any of the following: “Black-market ricin”; “how to make a death look natural”; “coroner’s report”? 08 Have you found several death certificates with her name on them, despite the fact she’s very much alive and watching Sasuke Singapore in the next room? 09 When you ask, “Do you fancy going out tonight?” does she reply, “Yes – OUT!” and then laugh insanely to herself for seven minutes straight? 10 When you go swimming together, do you almost always nearly drown? 11 Do you often awake to find your girlfriend hanging from the ceiling and carefully lowering a bright red spider into your mouth?

14 Last time you stayed in a luxury hotel together, was there a gas explosion that only affected your room? 15 Have all of her ex-boyfriends died in tragic/mysterious/stabby circumstances? 16 Did she spend the entirety of the movie Mr & Mrs Smith saying things like, “It would never happen like that!” 17 Does she occasionally slip into an incredibly strong foreign accent? 18 Does she always win at play-fighting? 19 Did you first meet in a casino, have full sex that night, then awake to find her gone, along with your laptop? 20 Does she insist on smuggling an army knife into your office Christmas party? 21 Does she possess passports for more than three nationalities? 22 Have you ever overheard her say things like, “Red squirrel is harvesting nuts for winter…” on the phone to her “cousin” in Guangzhou? 23 When you go out for dinner, does she insist on getting a window table? 24 Does she have diplomatic immunity? 25 Does she always seem to be driving a new car, despite holding down a modest office job?

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THE GIRL FROM FIGHT CLUB Words: Joe Mackertich Photography: Zoe McConnell Styling: Kylie Griffiths

Move over, Spears, there’s a new “Brittney’” in town. Meet Miss Palmer, the all-singing, all-dancing Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) sexpot from Vegas. Say “howdy”…

Jacket, by Adidas, Shoes, by Converse. Hair & makeup: Nat Schmitt using Bobbi Brown & L’Oreal Professionnel.

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B R I T T N E Y PA L M E R

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Cap and bodysuit, both by American Apparel. Opposite: Shoes, by Adidas.

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“It would be really cool to fight Andy Warhol.”

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witch on a UFC fight between rounds and you’d be forgiven for thinking the letters stand for “Unbelievably Fit Cheerleader”. That’s because between the bouts of grappling and groping of grown men, a very pretty lady in a very small red bikini patrols the perimeter of the Octagon holding up a bit of card with a number on it. That lady is, more often than not, Brittney Palmer, the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s sexiest ring-girl. Whether or not watching reckless blokes kicking seven shades of s**t out of each other floats your boat, Palmer is worth tuning in for alone. The 25-year-old Vegas-born, LAraised, dancer-cum-artist-cumring-girl is a proper All-American star of the hottest variety. Her eyes say “apple pie wouldn’t melt in my mouth” but her photos suggest otherwise, and after recently gracing the cover of US Playboy, we felt it was time for Brittney to make her FHM debut…

You grew up in Las Vegas. Was that as crazy as you’d imagine? Vegas was exactly what you’d think it would be like. There’s nothing to do other than have a nightlife. There’s not a lot of culture there and you can’t play sport because it’s really hot. So what exactly did you do? I danced. I wanted to be a dancer and I wanted to be in showbusiness. I danced in my first show on the Vegas strip when I was 18-years-old. I was a magician’s assistant… I got cut in half! And now you’re a UFC ring girl. Were you into the sport before you got that job? Yeah, I had a high-school boyfriend and his mother was really into UFC. She’d throw pillows at the TV and everything. I’ve always been around it and, in Vegas, the UFC is really big, it’s kind of everything there. Are you an even bigger fan now? Yeah, of course. I’m a huge UFC fan. You can’t not be a UFC fan with my job. We get front-row seats to every single event and you just can’t help but fall in love with it. Would you ever fight? No, no. Theoretically, if you could fight anyone from history, who would it be? Andy Warhol. Because I’m an artist, and it would be really cool to fight Andy Warhol!

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Tell us about your art. Well, I’d always taken art classes in Vegas but had focused my energy into dancing. Then when I was 21, I started reading more, getting into Shakespeare and poetry. It opened up my mind to the possibilities and where it could go. I started painting and I just fell in love with it, I’d just sit at home painting for hours and hours. Now I’m studying it in LA! When you’re not painting, you’re getting hollered at at UFC events by beered-up men in the crowd. Does that ever get annoying? No, it comes with the job. You know, I’m walking around in bikini. I’m glad they’re hollering! If they weren’t I wouldn’t be doing my job properly. What sort of stuff do they shout? Anything you can think of… When do you feel sexiest? I’d say I feel sexiest when I just get out of the shower and I’m in a nice robe. Or when I’m on a shoot like this, with one person oiling me up and another doing my makeup! After growing up in the world-centre of gambling, do you have any tips on how to clean up at the tables? Sadly, no. The city was not built on winners. If you go to Vegas, you’re gonna lose. The only way you win is to bet big and cash out when you triple your money. When you get a big chunk and then keep going, that’s when people lose. I never gamble my own money because I know the percentages! What’s the maddest thing that’s ever happened to you? I was in a very serious car accident when I was 21. I was driving, and I fractured my pelvis in three places − two in my groin, one in my coccyx. FHM

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B R I T T N E Y PA L M E R

“I’d say I feel sexiest when I just get out of the shower and I’m in a nice robe.”

Top, by American Apparel, Knickers, by Donna Karen, Shoes, by Adidas

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THE

REAL FOOTBALL

MANAGER What would the most addictive game on Earth look like if FHM got its dirty hands on it? Just like this… Words: Andy Dawson

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TH E R EAL FO OTBALL MANAG E R

UNSACKABILITY Y UPGRADE PACK

IAN HOLLOWAY MODE Are you mental enough to emulate the mighty Holloway? In our reboot of Football Manager, after a match, you are presented with a text box with space for 1,000 words. You can only progress if you can fill the box with complete crap, with as little of it actually relating to your team and players. Be inspired by this real-life example [Holloway on scraping a win]: “If you’re a burglar, it’s no good poncing about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”

CLUELESS EGOMANIAC CHALLENGE Take a well-run, fairly successful club and bring it to its knees as quickly as possible. Like Claude Anelka did at Scottish Football League’s Raith Rovers. Bored with being brother Nicolas’ agent, Claude persuaded the Rovers board to let him be boss (mainly by waving a $390k cheque at them). Claude brought in a load of players from France’s SEVENTH division. One draw and nine defeats later, the dream was over. When the club later tried to release one of Claude’s recruits, Mehdi Eloudji, he asked if he could stay on as an oddjob man.

Tenacity and determination are admirable traits in a manager. Hanging on to the job when it’s clear that you’re way out of your depth? Not so much. None of that stopped Steve Kean as his tenure as Blackburn manager became increasingly tragic. Fan protests and relegation weren’t enough to earn him the boot as the Rovers board erected some kind of sack-proof force field around the manager. Stick this upgrade into our Football Manager game and no matter how hard you fail, the board won’t show you the door. See if you can last until the supporters come round and torch your car.

STEVE MCLAREN MODE

If you fancy managing a foreign team but feel daunted by the challenge of an international league, simply emulate England’s least-popular manager by attempting to master the local

lingo. Don’t fancy learning another language? Don’t worry, just speak in a slightly weird accent. If that fails, take the focus off your team by erecting a brolly on the touchline and praying for lightning.

BONUS LEVEL: TWEET DELETE

CHAIRMAN OVERRIDE In this glitch on the game, your success can be cruelly scuppered by the Chairman Override. Mid-way through the season, your screen will lock, while a remote source (usually based in Russia) starts to extract players from your team, add unknown names to your squad and insist upon having an input in the starting line-up. Offset integrity by demanding a 350-per-cent pay increase and your own private jet.

Liven up your FHM Football Manager experience with this new high-octane addition, where your players’ tweets pop up on your screen in real time. You’ll have only seconds to react to their declarations, including: “The ref woz a real CB — ne1 wanna help me stab him?” and “Didn’t realise all our supporters were such pricks!!!!1! #deadlineday”. Fail to delete them in time and face being hit with hefty legal fees, or being without key players due to lengthy court cases.

SECRET TACTIC: INVITE REFS ROUND FOR DINNER Not getting the results you want? Relegation zone looming? Don’t worry, enter a secret code and the game allows you to invite referees round for dinner at your house, where you charm them with fine Tuscan wine, Chilean sea bass and menacing Chinese burns. In no time, you’ll notice penalties going your way and advantageous extended injury time periods. Note: This is 800 per cent more effective if you’re playing as Manchester United.

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IRRATIONAL DISLIKE MODE

THE ON-THEPITCH TEAM TALK Former Hull City boss Phil Brown is a pioneer, and in FHM Football Manager, he’s heralded as the hero he is. You’ll have the option to emulate his greatest moments, such as conducting a half-time team talk on the pitch in front of the fans, as he did at the Etihad (Stadium) back in 2008. Okay, so his players looked utterly bemused by the stunt but after losing the first half 4-0, they pulled off a heroic, erm, 1-1 draw in the second. Opt for the full-on PhilBrown mode and you unlock the option to choose just how orange your face gets…

PAOLO DI CANIO RUMBLE PACK When your boss calls you, “One of the worst players I have ever seen at a football match…” you know you need to buck your ideas up a bit. The man-management expert behind those words was Paolo di Canio, after he had hauled off his keeper Wes Foderingham with only 20 minutes of a match against Preston gone and the team 2-0 down. Mental? Paolo? Probably. A couple of days later, di Canio was STILL raging, insisting that Foderingham would have to apologise to him before he would be considered for the first team again.

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It doesn’t matter who you are, some people you have to work with will wind you right up for no real reason. Maybe it’s the way they talk or their stupid faces. Chances are that, as a football manager, you’ll be in charge of some of them. In our game, you’re allowed to be as deranged and irrational as you like when it comes to despising your own players. It worked for partially cuckoo ex-France boss Raymond Domenech. He had no time for players named Leo, once saying, “When I have a Leo in defence, I’ve always got my gun ready as I know he’s going to want to show off at one moment or another and cost us.”

HAVE IT OFF WITH YOUR PLAYERS’ WIVES Just like [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. Remember when [NAME REMOVED] got sacked

by [CLUB REMOVED] even though he’d got them to [POSITION REMOVED] in the league? Yeah, that…

WITCHCRAFT

DODGY DEALS CHEAT SCREEN Hold Ctrl, Alt and F6 down together for six seconds and a pop-up window will appear where you can fiddle with your finances and avoid the virtual taxman. Special features include off-shore bank accounts named after dogs, high-risk investment schemes and filtering your players’ wages through your wife’s pension scheme.

Sometimes, a run of crappy results can only be explained by a gypsy curse. Luckily, our game will let you beat it, just like ex-Birmingham boss Barry Fry did — by pissing on all four corners of the pitch. “I had to squirt and then hold it in while I walked around,” said Baz. “When you’ve gone three months without a win, you’ll try anything.” It didn’t work — they sacked him shortly afterwards.

SMOKING MANAGEMENT OPTION Some of the greatest players in the history of the game have been chainsmokers. Johan Cruyff, Socrates, Zinedine Zidane, erm, Mario Balotelli. Giving your players the option to puff away after a training session just might help them relax. Included will be the option to take it a step further and let your goalkeeper spark up mid-match while the action is down the other end of the pitch. Perhaps you could play at the other extreme altogether and be like former Wimbledon boss Egil Olsen, who used to chase smoking strangers down the street and demand that they stop.

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TH E R EAL FO OTBALL MANAG E R

ASK THE WIFE SCREEN Struggling to figure out which strike partnership to rotate to for that difficult game? Forget tinkering with tactics — just hold down the space bar for 10 seconds and you’re taken to the “wife advice” secret screen, where you can quiz your missus on which goalie’s name sounds the luckiest. It worked for Stuart Pearce, right?

CUSTOMISE YOUR MANAGER Tweak your manager’s physical appearance using the in-game gaffer-editor.

FACE HUE PLAYER RESPECT OVERRIDE Your team isn’t performing, and worse, your players don’t respect you. What do you do to get the team behind you? Simply follow the lead of Andre VillasBoas and put out an official demand that your players come and celebrate a goal with you. Because nothing says “togetherness” like a bunch of grown men pretending to like their boss.

Select from a whole range of skin tones from Wenger’s deathly French pallor all the way to Fergie’s burgundy glow.

NOSE PICKER In a relegation dog-fight… again? Select a stressed-out jumbo-alchy nose from our diverse range of conks and hooters.

COAT SELECTOR Options include bespoke Italian tailoring, inordinately large puffa jacket or poor-fitting tracksuit with gravy stains down the front.

GUM-CHEW SPEED Decide the pace at which you chew on some Wrigley’s, from a relaxed “2-0 up” chomp to a high-speed you’re-gonna-get-a-bootin-your-face Ferguson grind.

BRIAN CLOUGH: THE GAME BODY FRAME

PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

Pick from three: Withered by stress, slinky-foreigner or seriously-Iwas-top-scorer-in-’72 fattie. At the end of the day, most of the enhanced features that we’ve dreamt up could all be chucked into one mighty game, based on arguably the most glorious football manager of all time — Brian Clough. Drinking, smoking, punching underperforming players and misbehaving fans, advertising breakfast cereal — he did the lot. Oh yeah, he won a few cups as well… FHM

ACCESSORISE Finish off your pixelated boss with a personality-defining range of accessories. Options include a poncily tied scarf, baseball cap or loyal dog by your side (which will also open bank accounts for you if you ask it nicely).

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Kings of Convenience

T H I S M O N T H ’ S T O P 10

Gigs

Music Festivals

It’s the battle of the Causeway, as FHM breaks down the two biggest shows happening in Malaysia and Singapore early 2013. You decide if you’re going to rock out at both.

Of Monsters and Men

Laneway Festival

Tame Impala

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Japandroids

Bat for Lashes

openness, which means more room to dance (or sway gently). Plus, there’s a lesser chance of getting stuck amid sweaty, drunken lads. Crowd: Prepare yourself for the biggest congregation of hipsters Singapore has ever seen. It’s not necessarily a bad thing — think really hot chicks in tiny shorts and Doc Martens, wearing flowers on their hair and swaying to melodic beats. Just remember your tortoiseshell Ray-Bans and Lomo camera to fit right in. Price: A standard ticket costs $145. While it might seem a little steep, the acts more than justify the price tag. Aside from being the only time you’ll ever be able to see these 14 artists perform under the same tent, attending will also up your coolness points by 200.

For details, visit singapore. lanewayfestival.com.au

WORDS: JANINE LEE

Singapore, 26 January Music: Indie, indie, indie. Laneway’s back for its third year and kudos to them for keeping the line-up fresh. Whether you’re there to see underground acts that have broken into the mainstream, or discover music from lesser-known artists, the festival has it all. From the trippy sounds of Tame Impala, to the exuberantly catchy tunes from Of Monsters And Men, to the cathartic crooning of Bat For Lashes, it’s a truly diverse range of alt music that will transport you back to halcyon days when enjoying music wasn’t all about “poppin’ bottles in the club.” Venue: The “it” spot for everything cool that’s happening in the country; The Meadow at Gardens By The Bay is the perfect place for a music festival because of its vast

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Big Night Out

Fun The Temper Trap

It keeps getting better.

Band of Horses

Armin van Buuren

Sepang, 15-16 March Music: Fans of electronic dance music will not want to miss this festival that is full on solid bass-thumping action. Day 1 will see legendary Dutch trance producer Armin van Buuren take the stage, along with other top acts handpicked by the man himself. Day 2 will take place across a four-stage stage and will feature headliners The Prodigy along with other eardrum-splitting hard-electro producers like Zeds Dead and Kill The Noise. The main stage see acts like Bloc Party, Temper Trap, Fun and Korean man of the moment, Psy. High profile and predominantly electronic — think ZoukOut on speed. Venue: Held at the Sepang International Circuit, Selangor, the Formula 1 race track will transform into party central for two days. Because it’s an outdoor venue that can accommodate up to 130,000 revellers, expect to go absolutely ape — no one will judge you if

Psy

you down five cans of Red Bull and run around moshing till you startt seeing spots in your vision. Crowd: Largely party animals who want to dance like it’s their last day on Earth. Because the line-up features mostly electronic acts, expect to see g everyone from bass-worshipping dub heads to neon glow stickmon wielding ravers, all with the common goal of making this the most epicc weekend of 2013. Price: With pre-sale weekend passes going for $96 a pop, you’d be nuts not to go. The line-up currently stands at 16 acts, with more to be added as the festival draws nearer. In case you cannot grasp the value of this deal, it’s like paying for a cup of chin chow and getting a bottle of Belvedere instead.

For d details, visit www www.futuremusicfestival.asia

Bloc Party

DJ Fresh

Vampire Weekend

Borgore

Having gone on a sabbatical last year, the annual concert extravaganza returns with its pulse firmly rooted on indie rock. While previous years had centred on classic rock (Stone Temple Pilots, Slash, 2011), prog rock/metal (Muse, Rise Against, Saosin, 2010), and dance/pop rock (Prodigy, Ting Tings, 2009), 2013’s musical excursion sees a gathering of the alternative scene’s top dogs — and all Grammy nominees: Band of Horses, Vampire Weekend and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Big Night Out 2013 is on 30 Jan, 8pm, at Fort Canning Park. Tickets: $125 to $250 from www.sistic.com. For more info, visit www.bignightout.asia

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WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Future Music Festival

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

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02.13

Games

Far Cry 3 Blow some stuff up for fun.

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Half-Life (1998) “I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for the conversations around the design of it. Kicking the crap out of people with a crowbar was unique for me.” World Of Warcraft (2004) “I play a lot of WOW. I love getting lost in the world. It’s tough to pick a

weapon, but I like being a Tauren and using their spells.” Diablo (1996) “This game was like an addiction. I couldn’t put it down. Perhaps it comes back to the way I look in real life, but I love wielding an axe and being a barbarian.” Far Cry 3 is out now.

WORDS: FHM UK

It’s every man’s dream to rule a remote island. But how much better does ruling a remote island with a flame thrower and full command of a team of Komodo Dragons sound? Loads better. It’s precisely why gamers around the world have been waiting four years for Far Cry 3. Executive producer at Ubisoft, Dan Hay is the man to thank: “My

favourite weapons in the game are the animals. I like to figure out a way to get a herd of water buffalo to stampede and kill a group of baddies. I like to figure out a way to get a tiger to go in and maul them to death. I like to unleash a bear to cause real mayhem.” Not all games rely on using animals as weapons, mind. Here are Hay’s top three that rely on bogstandard guns, axes and crowbars.

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02.13 TV

Top Gear Finally, a Top Gear that’s closer to home — in Asia, at least.

DVDs

Home Movies Five to keep you company this month. The Dictator Crass, funny and sometimes sexy — especially when Megan Fox makes a cameo appearance as herself.

Get ready to reclaim the TV remote from your Korean-drama-crazed lady folks at home. Fans of the original UK motoring magazine show, Top Gear, and its enigmatic car-tester, The Stig, can now catch the (what else?) Korean version on cable TV. Hosted by professional racecar driver Kim Jin-Pyo, car enthusiast Cho Min-Ki and celebrity racingcircuit member Yeon Jung-Hoon (pull the lady folks in your household to watch along; he’s from top K-drama Bloody Thirsty Prosecutor), the show is packed with super cars in super-ridiculous situations.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter The 16th president of the United State of America would have rolled in his grave if he knew about this one…

WORDS: DENNIS YIN, PHOTOS: KIX

Top Gear Korea Season 2 premieres exclusively on 22 January, Tue, 9pm on KIX (Starhub Ch 518) and KIX HD (SingTel mioTV Ch 309).

Snow White & The Huntsman Bella Swan having the hots for a Norse god? Doesn’t sound as revolting as bedding a vampire — or her director.

George Harrison: Living in the Material World Acclaimed director Martin Scorsese turns fan boy and produces a documentary on his favourite Beatles.

The Three Stooges The originators of slapstick (not you, Borat) get a contemporary update while retaining their bad haircuts.

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WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Highlights include: Never-before-seen car football match between Korea and Japan; thrilling challenges of a car running on the Han River; car skydiving stunt in Arizona; a race between a Corvette ZR1 and a Cobra helicopter; and a Kia K9 vs BMW 7 test. But the definite icing on the cake? You can catch it all in high definition.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Friendship and love blossom in a retirement village. The best excuse to send your ageing parents to a home? Don’t bet on it.

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02.13 At what point did you realise, “Hey, I’m a superstar now!”? I don’t see myself as a star. It is what I enjoy doing; I’m passionate about the craft, so being famous is secondary. What’s next after Ah Boys to Men Part 2? I’ll be going back to Australia to finish my studies in communications. It’s a hard decision to make. Most who get such an opportunity will want to “ride the wave” and many in the industry have also advised me to forget my studies and continue with this (“How often do you get such an opportunity?”) But I believe we should think long term. What if acting doesn’t work out?

Joshua Tan

FHM cross-examines Recruit Ken Chow on his involvement with Singapore’s highest-grossing local movie…

Ah Boys to Men is Singapore’s top local film of all time. How excited are you? I’m happy just to be a part of Ah Boys to Men, regardless of whether it has broken any record… It was a personal breakthrough, plus it’s always a good thing when something you do becomes successful. Did the cast expect the film to be this BIG? All of us were kind of blur and didn’t know what to expect. When we got the news that the movie did well on the first day, we went “heng ah”. At least there are people watching the movie and it won’t tank/flop. But I’m sure Jack [Neo, director] is probably the happiest. How did you get the good news? We received updates from lao ban (boss) via WeChat, a voice-messaging app. How will Jack be rewarding the cast for breaking the box-office record? We don’t get any commission, and it doesn’t bother me if we do or not. To be a part of this project is already a reward to me. Did you get any congratulatory messages from your men when the movie debuted? Yeah, in fact the entire formation booked a theatre to support the movie. It was amazing. 082

You had ORD-ed barely a week before being roped in for the filming of Ah Boys to Men. Looking back, how did that help you in the acting? It didn’t help me at all. In NS, I was a platoon sergeant and quite a fierce one, too. I was the one giving people s**t; so taking s**t was a whole new experience to me. It was hard getting into the recruit’s mindset again, but it got better and easier with time. During your time in NS, did you ever chow geng (skive)? I’ve made mistakes, but it’s a dilemma everyone faces; not just those who have gone through army. There are obviously times when you wake up and don’t feel like going to work. As a Singapore PR, was your mindset towards NS different from your peers? Yes, it was really hard for me at the start… I had a grudging mindset when I entered army. But thank God, a really good friend was in the same section as me and slept in the same bunk. I got through the mental adjustment after a while. I also enjoyed the physical challenges and being able to push myself to the limit. You’ve been busy promoting Ah Boys to Men regionally and filming HBO’s Serangoon Road. Part 2 is also coming out.

How much more attention are you getting when you’re out on the streets? Quite a bit, but it’s not always good. There was an incident where I was taking a nap on the train. I realised a couple was taking snapshots of me. [In fact, they had followed me from a shopping centre to the train.] I was like, “Buai gam, leh… (that’s not right)” But there are also light-hearted moments, like when I get recognised at food courts. People would remarked, “Ah Ken, ni hai jai chow geng (still skiving), ah?” It’s nice to be recognised but I enjoy my privacy, too. How about attention from girls? This is a movie where the leads are guys, so most of our fans are girls. We have an ardent group of female fans that camped out at the airport to send us off to Kuala Lumpur at 5am. [We were going there for promotional activities]. The support is overwhelming and unreal. We also have some male supporters who’d compliment our acting on Ah Boys to Men Facebook page. It actually feels good to be supported by guys, too. What does your girlfriend think of your newfound fame? She’s surprisingly chill. We’re in a stable relationship and it is very important that we knew each other before any of this came about. So I know she’s with me for the right reasons If you could choose an actress to work with, who would it be? It’s a no brainer — Felicia Chin. From my secondary school days, I’ve been… woah… just the very look of her would stop me on my tracks. And during Poly, Felicia came down to our campus to host a food programme; my classmate and I skipped class to catch a glimpse of her — and she gave us a hug! My friend has since acted alongside her and gotten over the fan-boy phase, but I haven’t met her personally yet, so… Fingers crossed! Ah Boys to Men Part 2 opens 1 Feb.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN, ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: EALBERT HO

Man

“I was a platoon sergeant during NS and quite a fierce one, too. I was the one giving s**t to people; taking s**t was a whole new meaning to me.”

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02.13 Elles

Don’t Stand on Ceremony

A Good Day to Die Hard

Films with first names as titles.

The Sessions

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hitchcock It’s about: The pioneer of psychological thrillers, filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock. And it’s a love story. Intriguing. Played by: Anthony Hopkins Opens: 14 Feb

Bullet to the Head

The Concubine

Sex and Violence

And you thought such issues only surface in real-life news…

Where do you draw the line between work and personal life? In provocative drama, Elles, an atas French fashion journalist trapped in a humdrum lifestyle (Juliette Binoche) takes her a job a little too seriously while unveiling the hedonistic lives of two student prostitutes… As for The Concubine, our Korean protagonist (Jo Yeojeong) is embroiled in dirty sex, not by choice but as a means of survival. Once inside the palace, a love triangle ensues between the woman, her commoner lover and a megalomaniacal king. Immensely poignant and surprisingly funny is a tale of a man, paralysed by polio (John Hawkes), looking for sex. Take it from us — The Sessions is nothing like The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Over at the department of machismo and high-powered ammunition, super-cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) returns for one last hurrah in A Good Day to Die Hard. This time, McClane, along with his equally trigger-happy CIA-operative son, blow up cars for fun in the streets of Moscow. Another ageing action hero making a comeback is Botox-lovin’ Sylvester Stallone. In Bullet to the Head, he plays hitman Jimmy Bobo who is forced to tag-team a detective to bring down a common enemy — Conan the Barbarian (Jason Momoa). To cap off “sex and violence in movies” is the blood-soaked, big-screen version of the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. There’s gunfire, cannibalism, beheadings and women in leather. Nasty.

Parker It’s about: A professional thief, Parker, who is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead. And he has a code of ethics Robin Hood would be proud of. But really, who cares? Played by: Jason Statham Opens: 14 Feb

Stoker It’s about: The Stoker household made up of an angsty teenage girl, an emotionally unstable mother and an enigmatic uncle. And it’s a horror drama. Disturbing, yet mildly titillating. Played by: Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode Opens: Feb 28 02/13

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WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Movies

Coming Soon!

Lincoln It’s about: The 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. And it chronicles the leader’s last days as he seeks to abolish slavery. Quite admirable. Played by: Daniel Day-Lewis Opens: 21 Feb

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02.13 When you add lyrics, the theme changes completely; it then sounds like a song with a piano background. Collaborations also need time and rehearsals; it’s not very viable as I travel so much. I’ve never had a special wish to perform with someone or anything; I’m not crazy about it. I’m a solo artiste. How do you portray emotion through your music, without lyrics? Not having lyrics doesn’t mean less emotion. There’re so many levels of emotion in classical music. You feel so many emotions while listening to a classical piece; I don’t think lyrics have anything to do with it.

Music

Maksim The Croatian piano prodigy on film scores, classical crossover and steering clear of collaborations with singers.

Your latest release, The Movies, features your take on popular silver-screen scores. Why such an album? I was always open to exploring other types of music, and because we did six albums previously of crossover classical music, I thought it was time for something different. Were you concerned about staying true to the original film scores? People have heard those scores countless of times before, so it was a challenge to take the pieces and make them into my piano-crossover style. It’s going to be quite interesting for fans to see what we did with these pieces. For example, with Mission Impossible, the piano arrangement is so different that it sounds like something from a Russian composer — you can barely recognise it. But that was my approach; that’s what we wanted to achieve. 084

How did you select which movie themes you want for the album? My manager, producer and I chose the pieces. Mission Impossible, for one, I immediately knew had to be on the album because it had a rhythmic structure that I thought was quite good to interpret; to make it like a classical piece. It had potential to become something completely different in my style. For The Godfather theme, we made it very epic. I wanted it to sound like a Tchaikovsky B-flat minor concerto, which is very wide with a lot of octaves. So, it depended on the approach we wanted to take as well. I also wanted to do a compilation of music from The Fifth Element, which is one of my favourite movies but, in the end, it got cut because it wasn’t suitable. Do you enjoy collaborating with other artistes? I rarely collaborate with singers because I’m an instrumental artiste.

What goes through your mind when you play the piano? It requires a lot of concentration; I’m very focused on the music and the sound I produce. Which is why sometimes I look up while playing because I want to move further from the piano to hear and control the tone. It’s basically always being connected to the music and what I produce. How do you remedy a mistake when performing “live”? I continue without thinking about it. I was taught at college that making a mistake is one thing; the challenge is being professional and not allowing it to affect you… And you need to be really strong and say, “It has happened, let it go”. What has been your biggest musical challenge? Generally, what I do is diffusion that some would call impossible — mixing classical music with electronic beats. It’s quite a big challenge finding a balance where you don’t exaggerate the production until you kill the soul of the classical piece but, at the same time, have the presence of electronic music. It’s about finding a balance between these two things. How have you grown as an artiste over the past decade? I’ve become more mature, obviously, and I have much more experience when it comes to my business and concerts. I’m more confident in what I do and I believe in myself. Plus, not many things can surprise me in this business anymore. The Movies album is out now.

WORDS: JANINE LEE.

“I rarely collaborate with singers because I’m an instrumental artiste. When you add lyrics, the theme changes completely; it then sounds like a song with a piano background.”

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02.13

Comic to Your Senses

Classic Thriller

Graphic novels for toilet reading.

Bricks in the Wall Troy Chin If you’re part of the local music industry, or trying to make it in the scene, you’d be able to connect with the satirical short stories in this clever home-grown graphic novel.

The Moon Moth Originally by Jack Vance, adapted by Humayoun Ibrahim Imagine having to communicate not only with the spoken word, but also in song? And did we mention that depending on what you’re trying to say, it’d require a different musical instrument? This illustrated adaptation is sci-fi at its most brilliant.

Death Will Have Your Eyes Books

WORDS: MITCHELL PEREIRA

Revisiting a James Sallis classic.

We wouldn’t call this a punching, kicking spy novel, but it definitely reaches out to the secret agents in us. Known as Dave, the protagonist is a man with baggage — a lot of baggage. Having bulit a new life with his girlfriend, the ex-espionage operative is pulled out of his comfort zone after a phone call. And with

that, the hunt for an old colleague gone rogue ensues. (As The Eagles sang: “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave”.) You’re not going to get Jason Bourne leap-frogging from city to city here. But what you are guaranteed are poetically drawn-up characters that will keep you glued to the novel, from start to finish.

The Cavalier Mr Thompson Rich Tommaso Everyone has a story to tell, and every character contributes equally to one big masterpiece of a story. The Cavalier stands as the location for the strange events to unfold, binding and intertwining each character around the chaos that is Mr Thompson, as he pulls at the seams of a dusty local town.

The Hypo Noah Van Sciver For those unschooled in American history, we did the research. “The Hypo” is what the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln referred to as his period of deep depression. Here, we see a downon-his-luck young Lincoln in his pre-presidential years, drawn superbly mundanely. This novel is not to be confused with the Lincoln-vampireslaying atrocity. 02/13

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LO O K

B E T T E R ,

FEBRUARY 2013 $6.00

P L A Y

B E T T E R

THE STRIKE HARD ISSUE!

LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE A PRO THINK LIKE A CHAMP

URIJAH FABER

No pain, no gain. Meet Ultimate Fighting Championship’s bantamweight warrior OBC UPG COVER.indd 14

High-tech football boots Festive spirits FLIP FOR FHM

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05 PROFILE

Urijah Faber

Get in the ring with one of UFC’s toughest fighters.

10 Regime

Get Bigger Guns

Tips to build your biceps.

12 Don’t Try This at Home

Learn mixed martial arts moves from the pros.

18 News

The latest football boots.

20 HEDONISM

Food and (More) Drinks

It’s all here.

23 Girlfriend

Staycation at W Singapore.

26 Tara Rushton

Valentine’s Day tips.

02/2013

Contents

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18

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REGIME

LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL FIGHTER

D

on’t be fooled by his golden locks and Cheshire grin, UFC’s Urijah Faber could easily knock you out cold with a drop of a shoulder and a lethal right hook. Not one to back down just because he cracked a few ribs, the “California Kid’s” biggest strengths would probably be his fierce determination and his passion for the sport.

PHOTOS: FOX MOVIES PREMIUM

Words: Mitchell Pereira

URIJAH FABER

FHM comes fist to fist with one of the world's toughest guys.

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You fought four rounds in your last fight against Renen Barao with a broken rib. Is pain not in your vocabulary? Pain is one thing; quitting is another. I don’t quit. I’ve had some pretty bad injuries in my day. I had a fight where I fought for four-and-a-half rounds with my right hand completely busted − the fourth and fifth metacarpals snapped and shattered. And in the third round, I dislocated my left thumb, so I had no hands! The rib wasn’t as bad. I also had featherweight champ Jose Aldo kick my leg so bad I could barely move. Pain is something I’m used to. How do you continue when something like that happens? It’s all mental. What the best fighters in the world have in common is extreme mental strength. When I go into a fight, I approach it like I would survival. I don’t think if I was on the street and had broken my rib, I would just lay down and stop fighting. You get lots of love after each fight, don't you? Yeah, I feel like I get some good attention, I’m not complaining. [Laughs]. That helps with the pain. Mixed martial arts (MMA) fighters aren't exactly the prettiest bunch, but you guys get a lot of attention from the ladies. Is it the pecs? The missing teeth? I think girls like confidence. And you have to have confidence to be a fighter. The most primal thing in the history of humankind is fighting for things − for food, for procreation, for wherever you’re going to live for. Of course, that’s changed but there’s still some of that primal attraction to someone who can defend himself and her — provide and protect! What's the biggest misconception about MMA fighters? What it used to be was that we’re not very intelligent and kind of barbaric. This sport takes little aspects from some of the world’s most established sports. You have to be real intelligent, really disciplined and have a great work ethic in order to succeed in this sport. You graduated from university with a degree. Do

"I fought with the fourth and fifth metacarpals of my right hand snapped and shattered. In the third round, I dislocated my left thumb."

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PULSE

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think she’s the only person I’m scared of in the whole world. So she allows you to fight now? She didn’t allow me to but I was already an adult at this point. She supports me and is happy that I’m successful. What is your most memorable sanctioned fight? It was the fight against Jens Pulver in WEC (World Extreme Cagefighting). That was the first time I fought against somebody whom I really looked up to. It was also the first time they had a

TOUGH TALK

08

big fight in my hometown, Sacramento, California. How about a fight outside of the ring? [Sighs] The one I’d like to forget was the one that happened in Bali. I had a fight with a local guy; he was trying to get me to fight but I ignored him. I finally gave in and got in a fight with him. Once it was over, I walked around trying to collect my things. Then I got hit in the back of the head with brass knuckles. I ended up fighting and running from 12 guys.

If Sylvester Stallone asked you to replace former UFC champ Randy Couture in a new The Expendables sequel but only if you retire from professional fighting, would you do it? Err… Definitely not. But, I would wait a couple of years. Randy never retired after making movies. I’d like to, maybe, do some movies someday, but my focus is on fighting right now.

Words of wisdom from the men of US-based MMA group, Bellator Fighting Championships*.

BABALU SOBRAL

BEN ASKREN

"Train hard; go for exchange training and participate in training camps in America. Stay there for a while and learn the rules about MMA. That will be a good way to eventually make the mark."

"MMA fighters who have extensive background in amateur wrestling are typically the most dominant because wrestlers are able to dictate if the fight goes to the ground or stays on the feet. This is a huge advantage."

PHOTOS: KIX

other fighters possess such credentials, too? It’s actually quite common for fighters to have degrees, but it’s different strokes for different folks. Some guys are very intelligent. I was just with Rich Franklin and Cung Le, both are college graduates. But being intelligent is not only when you’re in there fighting another guy; it’s also about training and nutrition; about letting your body rest and heal; and the peaking process — knowing when to slow down and when to speed up. What was going through your mind when you decided you want to deliver and receive beatings for a living? Nothing particular was going through my mind. I was just following my passion. I stumbled upon the sport just because I thought it would be fun and that I would be good at it. I was fresh out of college in 2003 and MMA fights were illegal in California then. If there were any casinos hosting fights, I’d fight for US$200 and another US$200 to win. Were you bullied as a kid? Never. I was only in one fight in high school and that was with two other kids who had been harassing my mum. So I sought permission from my dad to fight. I was scared of my mum; she was like “you’re not allowed to fight”. I

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PULSE "MMA takes aspects from some of the most established sports in the world. You have to be real intelligent, really disciplined and have a great work ethic in order to succeed in this sport." car accident; was in a coma and had brain surgery. It was a very scary time. Would it be too late for an out-of-shape 25-year-old writer to be a professional fighter? You know, I don’t feel like there’s anything impossible in this world. I’ve told you my favourite saying. So, I believe in you!

Urijah Faber will be fighting against Ivan Menjivar in UFC 157 Live: Rousey vs Carmouche, Sun, Feb 24, 11am, on Fox Movies Premium Singtel mio TV Ch 414 (HD) and StarHub Ch 622/662 (HD). UFC Night airs every Fri and Sat on Singtel mio TV Ch 330 (HD) and StarHub Ch 505/558 (HD).

BRIAN ROGERS

MICHAEL CHANDLER

"I follow the schedule given by George Lockhart. He is a very renowned and well-respected nutritionist and many of the guys in Bellator and the MMA sport follow his suggested meal plans religiously."

"Boxing is an older sport but I don't see it going away. It's been there for a long time... But I do see MMA surpassing boxing and becoming a more popular sport. As of now, we have a lot of years ahead of us."

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*BELLATOR FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS AIRS EVERY MON, 9PM, ON KIX (STARHUB CH 518) AND 10PM ON KIX HD (SINGTEL MIO TV CH 54).

Do you have a philosophy that you live by? I have a lot of favourite sayings; one is “Don’t tiptoe through life to arrive at death safely.” Live and die, the rest is up to you. You make the rules. Is it your aim to intimidate the other fighter? Intimidation is not really a factor at that point. This guy’s not scared of you and you’re not scared of him. I have fun. If you see me coming to the cage, I’m usually smiling and moving to Tupac and saying “hi” to my mum. You know, it’s the closest I’m going to get to being a rock star. What is your biggest fear in life? The biggest fear isn’t to do with myself; it’s with my family. I’ve had some scary things happen of late with my little sister. She was in a

1/8/13 8:21 PM

GET BIGGER GUNS There's more to building up your biceps than just pumping heavy iron.

01 01 SLOW AND LOW Trying to fit in as many reps as possible may impress that pretty girl you’ve got your eye on down the gym, but in the long run, lowering weights slowly will have an increased effect. “Although you should lift quickly,” says personal trainer Joe Addison, “the lowering phase of an exercise has been shown to be just as important, if not more so, than the lifting.” Especially when it comes to muscle growth.

02 TRI FOR MORE

Vin Diesel didn’t get to where he is by spending all of his time on his biceps. Working your triceps twice as hard as your biceps is a trick for beefing up your arms. “The triceps make up two thirds of the upper arm, so the key to big guns is to work the triceps hard,” says Addison. Ignoring your triceps will leave your arms looking more like a water pistol than an AK-47.

03 WEAR WHITE That’s right, it’s only an optical illusion when it looks as though tennis pro Rafael Nadal’s got two tree trunks strapped to his shoulders. Well, kind of. White shirts accentuate your torso and make you look much more buff than their colourful equivalents. So, if you want to show off your toned torso, ditch that brightly coloured sports gear and pull on your tennis whites instead.

04 GET YOUR POSTGYM MUNCH ON

Scared of diving into a slice of cake? Fear not. Director of Aegis Training, Zack Cahill says, “The hour after you’ve trained is the magic window where it’s okay to have simple carbs without them being stored as fat. These quick-digesting sugars replenish your muscles and, combined with whey powder, give them the building blocks for growth.”

05 SLEEP ON IT You may think that early start down the gym was worth it, but staying in bed for an extra hour or two could have made a vast improvement to your muscle power. “Sleep is vital for muscle growth,” says Dr Chris Easton, senior lecturer in exercise physiology at Kingston University. “During deep sleep, there is an increase in the production of growth hormones — these help to repair and build new muscle.”

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REGIME

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WORDS: THOMAS BENNETT, PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

06 WAX ON, WAX OFF

Whether it’s your guns or any other part of your body, hair hides muscle and obscures its definition. Former professional bodybuilder Cynthia James says, “A hairless body is the only way to show off the details of your muscles and physique. Plus it will reveal symmetry.” We’re not sure about a full-on de-fuzz but each to their own.

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09 07 DITCH THE TECH Cavemen didn’t have any fancy machines or hi-tech gyms, and they were still ripped enough to hunt sabre-toothed tigers. Personal trainer Samuel Pont says, “Free weights elicit more muscle growth as more of the motor pools are recruited within the muscle to help stabilise the weight.” In other words, your muscles are working to control the load you’re lifting and the direction of the movement.

10 08 TAKE A BREAK

If your arms are still aching from yesterday’s brutal gym session, then let them rest. When you work the muscles, it actually shreds them, and it’s the rebuilding that occurs during theest period that makes them bigger. If you’re still feeling the effects from a previous workout but are keen to get down to the gym, focus on another muscle group instead.

09 DRINK MORE WATER Your kitchen sink could make a huge difference to how much you’re filling out your sleeves. “Muscles are full of glycogen. Every molecule of glycogen must bond with three molecules of water, so staying hydrated ensures your muscles always look full,” says training pro Cahill. Failing to drink enough water will make your guns look more like a cracked pebble than meaty cliffside rock.

10 SQUEEZE TO SUCCEED

Posing in front of the mirror might send a bit of banter your way, but just explain that it’s part of your training routine — a trick called isotension. As sports nutritionist and fitness guru Scott Baptie says, “Between sets, while you’re resting, flex your muscles and hold them for about 6-10 seconds to keep them contracted. This will enhance your ability to control the muscle.”

1/8/13 8:24 PM

DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME

(OKAY, BUT ASK YOUR MUM FIRST)

Learn to fight like a pro: UFC style.

A

lthough still a nipper in terms of professional sports, mixed martial arts (MMA) is one of the planet’s fastest-growing fitness activities. In the last 10 years, the Ultimate Fighting Championship (or UFC to its fans) has seen a surge in popularity, culminating in viewing figures rivalling most top pay-perview boxing matches (11 million-plus for some matches). But it’s not just spectator numbers that are rising — more people are

getting involved in MMA than ever before and not only will it make you bloody hard, it’ll make you bloody fit. FHM has enlisted the help of three of Britain’s biggest UFC stars, Che Mills, John Hathaway and Michael Bisping, to guide us through some of the back-breaking, bone-crunching moves. Just make sure you keep these moves to the gym. They are not to be tried in the car park near your favourite watering hole after 12 pints of Carlsberg.

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REGIME

MAKE THEM SUBMIT With John "The Hitman" Hathaway. Brighton-born welterweight John “The Hitman” Hathaway is a submissions expert, having won four fights by forcing his opponents to quit in sheer agony. Oh, and did we mention that this

former rugby-playing powerhouse has won 16 of his 17 fights? Here are the moves that make the Hitman so lethal when he goes to ground.

THE SUBMISSION SET-UP

DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN The takedown is an essential move. Start in a standing position. Take a forward step with your front foot and make a level change so you can get underneath your opponent. Get as deep as you can between their legs, grabbing the back of their knees, and go for the takedown. Difficulty: 2/10 Damage: 3/10 THE SHOULDER SHREDDER

KIMURA With your opponent on the floor, use your right hand to control his wrist, slide your left arm under his shoulder and grab hold of your own wrist. Lever his wrist up towards the back of his shoulder, establishing a tension control on the shoulder blade and joint. Difficulty: 8/10 Damage: 8/10 THE BACK BREAKER

TWISTER On the floor, with your opponent’s back to you, wrap your legs around his hips and trap his leg between your shins. Tuck your left foot behind your right calf to lock his leg. Grab his right arm and squeeze behind your head. Now twist your body, pulling his head and neck in the opposite direction to his legs. Difficulty: 8/10 Damage: 9/10 THE ELBOW ELIMINATOR

ARM BAR With your opponent on top of you and your back to the floor, place one leg over his hips and the other over his back, locking his arm between your legs. Swing him onto his back by pressing down on his neck with your calf — keep his arm trapped. Grab his wrist and push your hips forward, putting strain on his elbow. Difficulty: 7/10 Damage: 8/10

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STRIKE THEM HARD With "Beautiful" Che Mills. One of the nicest guys you could hope to meet outside the arena, middleweight muay thai specialist “Beautiful” Che Mills, 29, has a whopping

seven knock-outs to his name and 14 wins under his belt. Learn how to kick, punch and knee your opponents from the former Cage Rage welterweight champ.

THE FIST OF FURY

SUPERMAN PUNCH Start in fighting stance (for righthanders, place your left foot forward). Take a hop in the air, bringing your right knee up — your opponent will think you’re coming with a kick, but you’re going to strike with your fist. Mid-air, kick back with your raised leg and, at the same time, come through with a punch with your opposite fist. Difficulty: 4/10 Damage: 7/10 THE KNOCKOUT BLOW

FLYING KNEE Take a couple of steps and run up to generate more power. Leap with your left knee first to build momentum — this also acts as a dummy which your opponent might try to block, leaving him exposed to the real threat. Bring your right knee through hard and fast, striking the head. This isn’t to stun, but to knock your opponent out. Difficulty: 6/10 Damage: 8/10 THE HAMMER OR JUSTICE

SPINNING BACK-FIST Start with a diversion: Throw a left hook. Use the momentum from the left hook and twist your body round 360 degrees. As you spin, with your back to your opponent, extend your right arm and strike your opponent in the face with a “hammer” fist — this is the squidgy underside of your hand between your little finger and wrist. Difficulty: 6/10 Damage: 8/10

ROUNDHOUSE KICK Right-handers, start with your left foot forward. Step onto the ball of your front foot and pivot. As you bring your right leg through, turn from the hips to generate momentum. You can kick your opponent anywhere on his body, but to deliver a knockout blow, aim for the head. You want to land the kick with your shin bone, not your foot. Difficulty: 4/10 Damage: 8/10

PHOTOGRAPHY: PETE WEBB.

THE KUNG FU KILLER

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REGIME EAT LIKE A CHAMP Che Mills' top foods to get you fighting fit

PORRIDGE “For breakfast, I have porridge, no matter what — whether I’m building up to a fight or just training in general,” says Mills. Porridge is full of slow-burning, complex carbs that will keep you fuller longer and give you the energy you need to train hard.

GET THE MENTAL STRENGTH OF A UFC LEGEND Michael Bisping on thinking like a warrior.

BROWN RICE “A lot of people won’t eat carbs at all, but I need them to train properly,” says the muay thai expert. As well as giving you the energy you need to work hard, brown rice is also rich in cancerpreventing selenium. TURKEY Low in fat and with 22g of protein per 100g, turkey is perfect for building muscle and helping recovery after a gym session. Which is why cage-fighter Mills loves it for his din-dins. “In the evenings, it’s pretty simple stuff — turkey breast or tuna steak with vegetables,” he says. WATER “I drink a hell of a lot of water, probably 5 litres a day,” says the UFC man. No wonder Mills is so ripped — water doesn’t just hydrate, it prevents muscle breakdown and helps keep you looking and feeling strong. PROTEIN BARS With up to 25g of protein per bar, they’re the perfect post-workout recovery snack. “If I eat a protein bar, it makes me feel like I’m eating real chocolate. It’s like a treat,” says Mills.

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FYI

In the eight-sided steel cage that is the Octagon, there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide — it’s just you, the ref and a man who’s hell-bent on kicking the s**t out of you. You’ve trained your body and learnt the moves, but you’ll need more than that to emerge victorious. Michael Bisping, kickboxing pro and Britain’s finest MMA fighter, reveals the mental strength it takes to be a UFC champ. “The fight is the easy part of this job. You have thousands of people cheering you on, you’re on TV and you’re getting lots of money. The hard part is the training. The day-in, day-out graft. When you have to get out of bed on a freezing-cold morning to go for a run and then go to a freezing-cold gym with no one cheering for you — that’s really tough, and it’s what separates the men from the boys.” “Mental strength is crucial in the Octagon. A lot of people say it’s 95 per cent mental, 5 per cent

physical. I wouldn’t go that far, but you need to have mental toughness. I’ve seen fighters crumble when things stop going their way. As soon as this happens, they’re beaten.”

Nickname: The Count From: Yorkshire, England Age: 33 Style: Kickboxing Record: 26 Fights 22 Wins

“It all comes down to how much you want it. Are you willing to go through the pain barrier? Are you willing to step it up a gear? You can always give that bit extra, and those who reach the top of this game are those who can find this in a fight. I remember one fight in Manchester when I got dropped and dominated in the first round. I was pissed off, but I had a word with myself, apologised to the crowd and came out in the second round and smashed his face in. I destroyed my opponent.” “I’ve only had one real loss. That was against Dan Henderson, where I was knocked out so good and proper that I didn’t know where I was

after the fight. As soon as I came around, I booked myself a fight, got myself some big, hard sparring partners and got to work. That’s the difference between champions and possible champions. Champions take a beating and come back from it.” “There’s always more to achieve. I’ve never won a world title in UFC and that’s the goal. Even when you’re winning and doing well, there’s further to go, more fights to win, more money to earn. You have to stay hungry. Once the hunger is gone, that’s when people get complacent.” “If you don’t believe in yourself, then you’re in trouble. As a fighter, you need to believe that you can win every fight. You need to let your opponent know that you are not scared of them, but they should be scared of you. Doubt is the biggest enemy of a fighter.”

1/8/13 8:30 PM

REGIME

ANYTHING GOES As its name suggests, Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) is the ultimate fighting fusion. It’s where East meets West, by way of Latin America, and its roots can be traced back to the ancient Olympics. Originally, it was a noholds-barred contest including everything from boxing and wrestling to jiu-jitsu, kickboxing and tae kwon do, as exemplified by its brutal forerunner vale tudo (“anything goes”, full unarmed combat fights). In 1993, the Gracie family from Brazil exported vale tudo to America. After a bit of tidying up, the UFC (safer, more regulated) was unveiled. THEM'S THE RULES Previously, the only rules applicable to MMA were the limitations of your violent imagination. This is no longer the case. In an effort to garner

mainstream acceptance, a number of regulations have been administered in the form of the Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts. There are now weight divisions, timed rounds (either three or five) and kit stipulations. Victory is generally achieved by knockout, judges’ decision, stoppage or submission.

"Frank Trigg choked MMA darling Matt Hughes to the point of unconsciousness."

BLOODIEST BOUTS One of the greatest fights in MMA history would be outlawed today, due to rule changes. But, in 1994, the kicking that Royce Gracie and Kimo Leopoldo gave to one another was legal — and utterly enthralling. Gracie kneed Leopoldo in the privates repeatedly while yanking his ponytail on his way to victory. The 2005 fight between Matt Hughes and Frank Trigg, which helped boost the sport’s popularity, was just as brutal. Trigg choked MMA darling

KINGS OF THE OCTAGON The earliest days of the discipline were dominated by the Gracie family, from brothers Carlos and Helio to latter-day combatants Rickson, Royce and Roger. Antonio Inoki helped popularise the sport in Japan in the 1970s — not least due to his tussle with Muhammad Ali in 1976. Recent superstars include Junior dos Santos, Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Roger Huerta, Matt Hughes, Tito Ortiz, Forrest Griffin and Quinton Jackson (BA Baracus in the 2010 A-Team film).

Hughes to the point of unconsciousness before Hughes escaped, slammed his opponent down and reversed the choke.

WATCH THE ACTION UFC Night and “live” fights are available on Foxx channels on Singtel mio TV and StarHub. One Fighting Championship, Asia's largest Mixed Martial Arts event, also holds regular fights around the region. Visit www.onefc.com for more info. GET INVOLVED Want to spill some claret? Sign up for MMA classes at academies such as Evolve (www.evolve-mma.com), Impact (www.impactmma.com.sg), The Stable (www.thestable-mma. com), and Juggernaut Fight Club (www.juggernautfightclub.com).

WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOS: FOX MOVIES PREMIUM. UM

A BLOW-BYBLOW GUIDE TO MIXED MARTIAL ARTS…

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PUT YOUR BEST BOOTS FORWARD Rule the field, not only your skills, but these new footgear, too. Adidas adizero f50

Why wear ’em? Filed under “featherweight” (165g), thanks to its 1.5mm-thick synthetic layer (Sprintskin) and strong but light lower section (Sprintframe). Upping the ante is a 3D-printed texture (Sprintweb) on the boot’s surface that offers excellent ball control at speed. Stats-crazy wearer will love the embedded Adidas miCoach Speedcell that records a player’s top speed, distance covered and active zones. The performance-tracking device is also the only of its kind to capture 360-degree movement. Who wears’ em? Defenders’ nightmares — Barcelona’s Lionel Messi, Real Madrid’s Karim Benzema and Manchester City’s David Silva.

$299; from Adidas stores and authorised retailers.

Warrior Skreamer Pro

$219; from Weston Corporation and Sportslink.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Why wear ’em? Making its mark on local pitches is the masculine-named Warrior. Its debut football boots collection features breakthrough technologies unique only to the brand. They include Thorax Exo-Skeleton (lightweight cage that “protects and shields the mid-foot”; ClawTec Blades (“for fierce grip and release”); and P-BX Outsole (“ensure force and stability at high speeds”). Who wears’ em? Everton’s midfield powerhouse Marouane Fellaini.

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NEWS Nike Mercurial Vapor VIII CR

Why wear ’em? A pink plate at the base? Don’t be repelled by the “bold” colour. This pair of nifty footgear, favoured by one of modern football’s greatest, is engineered for comfort and speed. It mirrors the shape of the foot to prevent unnecessary foot movement within the boot, and features two asymmetrical twin studs at the back for quick release from the turf and an “explosive” start. Who wears’ em? The vain (hence the pink) but super-talented Cristiano Ronaldo.

WEAR RIGHT Whatever sport you do, your feet deserve the best.

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Why wear ’em? At 160g and constructed using ightest, renewable and recycled materials, it’s the lightest, nditions fastest and greenest boot by Nike. All Conditions ced ball Control (ACC) technology delivers enhanced control in both dry and wet weather conditions. Who wears’ em? Europe’s brightest young players — Theo Walcott, Eden Hazard, Raheem Sterling and El Shaarawy.

$399; from Weston Corporation.

For Running: Adidas adizero F50 Runner 3 If you run fast, run faster with Adidas’ latest range that features the Sprintframe platform — it replaces conventional (and heavier) shoe construction and saves shoe weight.

$189; from Adidas stores.

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1/7/13 9:17 PM

Toasts of the Town Alcoholic beverages for everyday celebrations.

JOHN WALKER & SONS ODYSSEY

This new Johnnie Walker blend is a nautical-themed triple malt created to honour Sir Alexander Walker’s innovation, a whisky decanter that moves to match the motion of the sea. Alexander, by the way, is the grandson of the whisky guru — and the king of strut — John Walker. In the vein of its inspiration, this deluxe spirit is bottled in an exquisitely crafted, crystalgrade glass decanter that will look like a trophy on any mantelpiece.

$1,300; from Moet Hennessy Diageo, Tel: 6838-9861.

MOËT ROSÉ IMPÉRIAL

Give your loved one a nice buzz this Valentine’s Day with bubbly served from a customisable bottle. The Moët Rosé Impérial “Love Case” includes a pen and booklet with stickers to decorate the bottle. Makes you feel like 16 all over again — only with more spending power and a licence to drink.

$280; leading wine retailers.

L’ESSENCE DE COURVOISIER XI

Cheers to Chinese New Year with the French cognac favoured by hip-hop’s elite, including Busta Rhymes, Pharell Williams and P Diddy. Its highly prized, award-winning L’Essence de Courvoisier Xi is now bottled in the iconic teardrop-shaped bottle with gold engraving signifying the Chinese symbol, “Double Happiness”. Only 30 bottles available in Singapore. A great gift for your high-rolling towkay client.

$5,588; from Beam Global Asia, Tel: 6559-1155.

20 02/2013

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1/7/13 9:19 PM

HEDONISM

JOHNNIE WALKER GOLD LABEL RESERVE COCKTAILS

To usher in the Year of the Snake, the world’s most famous swagger collaborates with three bars to come up with three just-for-the-occasion cocktails. Enjoy Good as Gold (mirabelle plum liqueur, Dom Benedictine and Johnnie Walker Gold Label Reserve; from Tippling Club), Liquid Luck (Grand Marnier, fino sherry and Johnnie Walker Gold Label Reserve; from Jigger & Pony) and Lunar Harmony (Chinese lotus seed paste, five-spice powder, egg yolk and Johnnie Walker Gold Label Reserve; from Nektar). From 1 to 28 February.

KAMPONG SOUR

The winning tipple from the Bacardi Singapore Cocktail Search 2012 is now available for your tasting pleasure at Maison Ikkoku (20 Kandahar Street, Tel: 6294-0078). Concocted by Jon

Yongfook Cockle, TinyTrunk.com founder, with Ethan Leslie Leong, Maison Ikkoku mixologist, this refreshing cocktail captures the “kampong spirit of olden Singapore” with calamansi, sugar and Bacardi Superior Rum.

THE WOW (WORLD OF WHISKY) BY WALDHAUS AM SEE ST. MORITZ

Whisky lovers have another place to call their second (or third) home. For those not in the know, Waldhaus am See St. Moritz is the Guinness World Record-holder for having the world’s largest whisky collection — over 3,500 varieties stocked. Although the swanky The WOW carries 1/14 of its stockpile (over 250 fine single-malt whiskies), you can be assure of being intoxicated with the best stuff, many of which are sold in the market.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Opens daily, noon to midnight. Mövenpick Heritage Hotel Sentosa, 23 Beach View, Sentosa, Tel: 6818-3327.

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1/7/13 9:19 PM

ADVE RTOR IAL

Drambuie 15 is the choice of discerning drinkers who insist on the best kick and taste.

D

rambuie 15 is a whisky connoisseur’s expression of Drambuie drawn from the company’s finest selection of 15-year-old Speyside malts. Selected for its soft, complex fragrance and flavour, the rare Speyside malts ideally complement and balance the piquant aromas of Drambuie’s famed secret recipe (a unique blend of aged Scotch whisky, heather honey, spices and herbs). With a nose of Drambuie’s aromatic citrus spice, fragrant

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grass and butterscotch notes, Drambuie 15 has a velvet-soft mouth feel with a tang of lemongrass and warming malty notes, berries and heather. A finish of shortbread, fresh herbs and the unmistakable long afterglow of the Drambuie elixir results in a refined, drier expression — perfect for sipping and savouring either neat or over ice. www.drambuie.com

Brand Connect is the exclusive representative for Drambuie in South-east Asia. For enquiries, e-mail [email protected]

Drambuie Cocktail Recipes

Rusty Buck

• 1 part Drambuie 15 • 3 parts ginger ale • Juice of 2 lime wedges

Rusty Nail

• 1 part Drambuie 15 • 1 part Scotch whisky

1/7/13 9:20 PM

GIRLFRIEND

ALL ABOUT THE BIG “V” BY TARA RUSHTON

STEER CLEAR OF CLICHES Chocolates are for Easter and roses, well, everyone receives them. So how do you make your gift special? Think about what she likes. Is there a certain song, place or hobby that has significance to her? Integrate these into your gift. Wake up in the morning and leave her a note; hide it in her bag or put it on the fridge so she will get it while getting ready for work. Leave a rose on her favourite breakfast tray. Call her during work and play her favourite song over the phone.

DON'T TALK IT UP Each year, when the most commercialised day of affection, Valentine’s Day, hits, widespread disruption to normal, healthy relationships ripple across couples worldwide. What is it about a single day in the calendar that makes women so crazy and men feel as though they have to declare their undying love through roses, chocolates and a teddy bear as big as your torso? The reality is these gifts won’t actually make your partner feel more loved and appreciated, but are mere preventative and un-innovative ways to keep you from rocking the boat in the relationship. But to be completely honest, women love to be wined and dined, and made to feel like the centre of your universe. Hence, the pressure on men to celebrate Valentine’s Day in the most perfect way possible. However, if you go balls-to-the-wall on

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the celebration, will you have anything left in the tank when it comes to the next big “relationship event” such as her birthday, your anniversary and even Christmas? Here are a couple of useful pointers to keep you in her good books without going the predictable route:

She will hint, mention and talk about what her other friends are doing. The best thing to do is ignore her consistent harping about V Day. If she thinks you are impartial this year and when you actually surprise her with a thoughtful gift, meal or trip-away, she will be 10 times more grateful.

DON'T GET HUNG UP ON THE ACTUAL DATE

AVOID OVER-BOOKED, OVERPRICED RESTAURANTS

So it’s 14 February; does she even know the significance of the date? Will she really care if you arrange a killer date or weekend away a couple of days later? Escape the crowds and celebrate your own way. Book a romantic brunch spot, pop out of the country, but don’t reveal the secret destination to her until you are at the airport.

Valentine’s Day can feel like Christmas all over again, and couples will flock en masse to the most romantic spots for a meal. Instead, think about her favourite food and whip up a romantic meal at home. Or pack a picnic; go for a bike ride taking wine and music along; hire a driver to drive you around the city while sipping champagne in the back seat.

1/9/13 4:38 PM

How much of a deal breaker is it to ask or be asked to do a an STI/HIV test before entering a sexual relationship?

Sam, 29

Reka, 25

I think it’s responsible and totally fine. But I’d expect my partner to go through the same test.

I’m cool with it. It’s just being practical and it goes both ways.

PHOTO: CORBIS

Adrian, 27 It doesn't matter. I would do one myself anyway.

THE LOVE GLOVE Q&A TIME

Think health screening before a sexual relationship is taboo? Feel condoms are redundant? We quiz 18 people to find out if safety really should come first…

24

Jocelyn, 24

Xavier, 24

Agus, 21

I’d understand. It shows he’s serious about his well-being and the future of our relationship, since this is not something you ask for with casual sex. It shouldn’t be perceived as a negative thing and would actually help a lot of people if this became a norm.

It’d be a deal breaker if it were purely a sexual relationship. But for something long term, a little safety check doesn’t hurt. In fact, I’d be glad because it shows she’s taking this seriously.

I feel that if someone has an STD, they should just be honest about it instead of having to find out through a test.

RIDE SAFE WITH! ME

ALW A USEYS ME!

02/2013

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1/7/13 9:23 PM

GIRLFRIEND

In the heat of the moment, you realise you do not have a condom. What do you do?

What turns you on: Texture, flavour or glow in the dark condom?

Lyzma, 24

Ian, 32

Adrian, 36

Antoinette, 25

Ming, 30

Vin, 29

Condoms are easily available! Most guys I know are usually prepared, and I used to bring around a couple in my wallet.

I will literally sprint in double time to get one. Got to be safe!

Stop and get a condom at all cost!

Texture. The one with little bumps makes it more pleasurable for girls.

Texture, as it'll provide a better feel, and sex is all about the feeling, isn’t it?

Glow in the dark. Seems special and looks powerful.

Rachel, 24

Sophia, 24

Lance, 31

Jacqualine, 27

Hamzy, 26

Ben, 36

Seriously, just find one because no matter how much your hormones are raging, it’s not going to take you more than 10 minutes to look for one and put it on. If you don't have one at home, you weren’t planning to use any in the first place. That also means you’re consciously being irresponsible.

I would not continue, as I am not stupid and do not wish to be unwittingly impregnated.

Well, it’s really easy to get hold of a rubber anywhere so it shouldn’t be a problem. At most continue with a hand job or blow job?

Texture because I wouldn’t do a blow job with a condom. So flavour doesn’t matter.

Condoms don’t turn me on, but I guess texture would be the most appealing. The sense of touch is most sensitive during sex!

Glow in the dark, of course. All men like to see in the dark.

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I FEEL! YOU

SLE WELEP L!

* To find out where you can get an STI test, visit www.dsc-clinic.sg; for information on anonymous HIV testing, visit www.afa.org.sg

1/7/13 9:27 PM

Synonymous with luxury, style and comfort, the W Singapore — Sentosa Cove was easily 2012’s most-eagerly awaited opening. Now fully operational, staycationers can enjoy the entire “W” experience, from its stunning Wet pool deck, a 1,300sqm outdoor pool with 24 underwater speakers; to its premium restaurants Skirt and The Kitchen Table; to its trendy cocktail bar, Woobar. At the end of the day — both figuratively and literally — everything comes down to accommodation. All guest rooms and suites boast the signature W Bed, 40-inch LED TV, high-speed Wi-Fi, Munchie Box stocked with exclusive amenities and more. In short, everything to make your staycation extra cosy, extra special.

For room rates, visit www.wsingaporesentosacove.com.

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WORDS: DENNIS YIN

"W" IS THE NEW STAY

FLIRTY WEEKEND!

1/7/13 9:28 PM